4.5 stars, ugh, this was close... so close to being 5 stars. It would’ve been a hard 5 stars but there was a scene that was problematic so I can’t give it the full five stars (I’ll discuss this more in depth) it sort of just ruined my views on a certain character and it was honestly not necessary. Despite that scene, I really loved everything beside that, I liked the growth in Haruki (I’m bummed it had to be as a result to such an event), the honesty between Sato and Uenoyama, and the backstory between Akihiko and Ugetsu.
Y’all I admit, I’m so intrigued by Ugetsu’s character. I know he isn’t one of the main characters, but the way that Akihiko describes him, as “living with feelings which were much more complex, and exponentially larger than those of ordinary people” I LOVED the way that was phrased. More so, I loved that Ugetsu acknowledged that being together with Akihiko, albeit a fun and wonderful thing, was hurting Akihiko and holding him back. Despite his love for Akihiko, he accepted what was best for them, even if it hurt. Ugetsu could let go of Akihiko romantically, but he cannot let go of him completely.
Sato also realizes this is Ugetsu’s cry for help, just like Sato’s is his singing. And when Sato asked why he told him all this, he responded, “Because I don’t have any friends!” While flashing the biggest smile. I have to say, I feel like that reflected perfectly what Akihiko said, about him living with all these complex emotions. This really just finalized my liking for a character I was curious about despite my limited knowledge. I had a feeling he was more than the brief scenes we got.
Also, the fkn mug shot in the op of the anime MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW OMG. I’m-
We also got to see an insight into Sato and Uenoyama’s relationship. They’re sailing low and steady. In the beginning, each is busy doing their own things. Uenoyama gets annoyed that Sato spends more time with Akihiko, and when he tries to ignore the issue, Sato refuses to leave it be. He is living with the regret of walking away from an argument, he knows Akihiko and Ugetsu did the same, he doesn’t want to repeat that mistake. I love when a couple can face problems face on instead of ignoring it until it becomes an even bigger issue. Yes, to these two! I can’t wait to see a bit more of them.
I loved seeing more development on Sato, how he’s really got the hang of music and is composing and asking for precise advice.
Okay, and we’ve reached the first problematic scene in this manga, I need to talk about it.
The tension between Akihiko and Haruki peaked in this volume. Akihiko had another argument with Ugetsu which I feel sent him down a bit of a dark time. When he discovers Haruki was playing support for another band, Akihiko got angry that he would leave him like Ugetsu did, now...
I didn’t really like that Akihiko was basically taking out his anger on Haruki. Haruki was clearly saying no over and over and he didn’t quit it. That is why whole scene struck me as problematic, like no is the word for stop Mr. Akihiko. Even though Akihiko stopped, realized he made a mistake, and apologized... I just feel like he took it too far. Even if he was heartbroken this doesn’t excuse what he almost did. Haruki is an absolute sweetheart and I really didn’t like the way he was treated in this scene.
(If I squint) I could see what the author’s intention was with this breaking point for Akihiko (to go completely mad and over the edge) but I don’t think he had to do this for Haruki’s character to develop or even Akihiko’s character himself. I feel like a simple argument would’ve been far better than this. It also felt out of character for Akihiko to do such a thing, I know he’s the most intimidating character in the band, but he never was that way with Haruki. And I never would have imagined him to be so openly hostile. It was just unecessary in my opinion. I think what bothers me beside the fact that it was obviously wrong, was that Akihiko was a great character up until that point, he was supportive and understanding, but I feel like they sent him ten paces back in terms of characterization. I just wish it wouldn’t have happened at all.
After this scene, we find out how Akihiko would often have to find places to spend the night. Most of the time with people who took advantage of his desperate need to have a roof over his head. While I understand this could have an effect on him as a person, this doesn’t excuse his behavior by any means. It does give an insight into his character that we didn’t get before. We knew he’d be with random women, but we didn’t know of his circumstances.
OKAY LISTEN, first of all... I GASPED. And also, HOW EMPOWERING WAS IT that Haruki cut his hair short, especially because the whole reason why he’d grown it out in the first place, was for Akihiko. Tell me this isn’t the biggest middle finger, y’all. I am a lil' sad we'll never get to see him rocking out with his hair down (Natsuki literally said that his hair down would be a style in a gig at some point) but he cut his hair for good reason, and it was a good move on his part. Haruki deserves the world, and I’m sorry, but Akihiko isn’t the best for him for a long while. If he’s even going to get a redemption, he’s going to have to work hard to get it. I need to see growth in his character, and maybe, just maybe I’ll take his redemption.
Back to Haruki, I love how he said a hard no to Akihiko’s line crossing, he didn’t just forgive him and accept it, he isn’t letting this go easy and that’s good. I applaud him. We’ve never seen an angry or pissed off Haruki. But I like that he acted so when it necessary. He didn’t just act nice and forget it. He had enough compassion to help Haruki despite what he did, which proves he has the biggest heart of them all, but that doesn’t mean he has forgiven Akihiko. This relationship will have to be rebuilt from the bare bones if it’s going to become something bigger.
Now’s probably a good time to talk about the recurring lack of consent in a lot of BL mangas. A lot of them have this idea that the lack of consent is good or normal which ultimately leads to me not picking up or me putting down a manga. A lack of consent is not cute or romantic it’s blatantly wrong and problematic. Honestly, this manga handled Haruki’s reaction better than others. He got angry at Akihiko and tried to move on from his feelings for him. Which I appreciate seeing. It’s a shame really that the norm is unhealthy relationships, but maybe we’ll see better relationships one step at a time.
I do, however, think this manga did well, particularly with the way they handled Uenoyama and Sato’s relationship, which although a bit fast paced was actually healthy and had mutual support rather than a one-sided relationship lacking consent. Moving on.
Beside that scene, I liked the development among the other characters in this volume. We went in depth with side characters, and learned about them (Ugetsu) and we got to see more growth in the characters we already know (Uenoyama, Sato, and Haruki) unfortunately, I feel like Akihiko's character had to regress a bit in order to grow further, likewise Haruki had to get his heart broken in order to move on and let go of Akihiko, because he had, in a way held him back. There is a type of comparison to be drawn from the relationship Aki and Ugetsu had (having to let go because they were both being held back) and the way that Haruki grew his hair out for Aki and kept having him over to help him out, keeping his feelings hidden, he was clinging to hope and the possibility of Aki ever seeing him as more than a friend
Also, my poor baby feels like he is unnecessary for the band, excuse me you absolute cinnamon roll, you made this band possible, so don’t undermine your worth.