De kunst van het alleen leven

by Jane Mathews

In de nabije toekomst leeft de helft van de mensen in de westerse landen alleen. Toch moeten alleenwonenden nog steeds hun plek bevechten. De kunst van alleen leven laat zien dat de opmars van eenpersoonshuishoudens ook veel mooie kanten heeft en dat het een achterhaald idee is om te denken dat mensen die niet samenwonen of getrouwd zijn zielig zijn. Het boek is een praktische en inspirerende gids voor mensen die alleen wonen, met volop tips over hoe je invulling kunt geven aan een rijk en volledig leven alleen en het op je gemak voelen in je eigen gezelschap.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Personal Development, Ebooks, Lifestyle, Mental Health

238 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 2018

Reviews

[Dora Santos Marques · Rating 4 out of 5]

A minha opinião em vídeo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0Ygg...

Levei este guia como quem toma café com uma amiga bem-disposta: é leve, engraçado e, sem grandes pretensões, passa por tudo: finanças, casa, amizades, rotinas, solidão, sexo, até Netflix. A autora tem olho clínico para os clichés que nos atiram (o “prémio de 2.º lugar” de quem vive só, a velha dos gatos…) e devolve-lhes respostas práticas e bem-humoradas. Funcionou especialmente bem para mim a ideia de sermos a nossa própria claque e de tratarmos amizades como um jardim: cuidar, regar e arrancar ervas daninhas quando é preciso.

Nem todos os capítulos brilham por igual, há listas que podiam ser mais curtas e algumas dicas soam a frase de frigorífico, mas o saldo é muito positivo. Para quem está a começar a viver só (por escolha ou circunstância) é um abraço e um empurrão; para quem já domina o ofício, é um lembrete simpático de pequenos rituais que elevam o quotidiano.

Quatro estrelas. Um livro de autoajuda “terra-a-terra”, honesto e bem humorado, que normaliza e celebra o viver só sem dramatismos nem romantizações.

[Janet Bbgr · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting read but most of it is not about living alone. Chapters about spirituality, travel and goal setting are useful for anyone really. Writer assumes that if you live alone you dine out alone, travel alone and have a tendency to opt for evenings in your PJ's with a glass of wine and Netflix. As I have some experience living alone I don't recognize this at all. Also I don't need anyone to tell me how to fill up any spare time. I love spending time on my own.

[Cláudia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Não é o meu tipo de livro :/

[Mahmoud Aghiorly · Rating 2 out of 5]

يتحدث كتاب فن العيش وحيداً والاستمتاع بذلك للكاتبة جين ماثيو بصورة رئيسية عن الفرد بين العيش وحيداً و الوحدة , والكاتبة شرعت بكتابة هذا الكتاب بعد ان انفصلت عن زوجها و باتت تعيش وحيدة , فتولد لديها خوف من الشعور بالوحدة , فقامت بمقابلة مئات الاشخاص الذين يعيشون وحدهم في استراليا و سجلت كل الدروس والخبرات من تلك المقابلات و لخصتها في هذا الكتاب , والكتاب يحوي بالاضافة إلى اساليب محاربة الوحدة العديدة من خلال الانشطة والانطباعات و الافكار , نصائح و افكار حول الاستقلال المادي والغذائي والعاطفي وفيه افكار جمة حول كل هذه الامور وعادة قراءة هكذا كتب هي سلاح ذو حدين , ايجابي لانه يساعد من يحتاج الادوات والافكار ضد الوحدة في هذه الحالة و سلبي لانه يشعر من لا يحتاج لهذه الادوات والافكار بالنقص لانه يضع نفسه موقع مقارنة فيتوجس من نفسه ان كان وحيدا ولا يدرك ذلك في هذه الحالة ايضا , الكتاب بصورة عامة دليل تصرف عام حيال الحياة و يتحدث عن الامساك بزمام الامور فيما يخص كل مناح الحياة , فخبرات وادوات العيش وحيداً هي الخبرات والادوات التي يجب ان يملكها كل من ينطلق الى الحياة فالانسان يبدأ خطوته الاولى وحيداً وينهيها وحيداً , واهم عبارة في الكتاب كانت تلك التي قالت فيها , من الافضل العيش وحيداً على ان تتمنى ذلك اثناء عيشك مع الآخرين فهذا هو الجحيم بحد ذاته , الكتاب لا بأس به و تقيمي له 2/5

[Nina ( picturetalk321 ) · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a self-absorbed and stupid book. Do you want a thoughtful, kind, astute and helpful book about the single life post-divorce? Read Ulrike Stöhring's Vielen Dank für alles: Trennung - glücklich überlebt or even Ruth Knaup's Single - na und? Sich wohlfühlen und mehr vom Leben haben.

Do you want a random collection of recipes (that the author likes to cook)? A list of possible hobbies (that the author has tried)? A rundown of European holiday destinations (to which the author has been)? Tips on interior decorating (in the author's taste)? These are all (one might think) things that belong in different how-to self-help sections of the bookshop, things that have only tangentially to do with living on your own.

Then there is the patronising, school-prefectish tone of someone who knows best. The author is Australian and in Sydney I would call her a 'Mosman mum'. Here are some gems of advice for the solo liver: Ditch your TV! Ensure that the bathroom is 'spotlessly, operating-theatre clean'! Don't keep complaining! If you are charged for a late fee payment, call up and ask for it to be waived! (But don’t do this if you’re not single? When presumably your male other deals with finances?) Photocopy your cards! (Because clearly none of us owns a mobile phone with a camera.) Have flowers on your bedside table! (Because none of us have sensitive noses and we all regularly refresh the water in vases so that it doesn't smell like a sewer after a few days, and also none of us have cats that knock things onto our pillows.) Pour a glass of good red wine, watch a movie and eat expensive chocolate! (Confirmation bias at work: not everyone loves or can drink wine; not everyone loves or can eat chocolate.) Photographs do not belong on memory cards! (Who knew? Also, memory card, what memory card - are we living in the year 2008?) Go on a round-the-world trip visiting friends! (There is no irony in this unreflecting, privileged world view.) More privilege: 'High seasons are expensive, crowded and coincide with school holidays. Bad, bad, bad.' (No, what is bad, bad, bad is someone assuming that everybody in the world can take holidays whenever they please and that nobody has children who need to observe school holidays; also, I object to having my wrist slapped should I choose to go somewhere crowded.) Don't forget to bring your painting tools on holiday, either: 'I also take a tiny portable tin of watercolour paints to sketch a couple of scenes on postcard-sized paper...'

How is any of this specifically applicable to "the art of living alone" (title of book)? I know not. How is it helpful to be smugly informed by the author that she has 'Christmas sorted'?

To be fair, there are a few good pointers and tips in the book but none that I've not seen elsewhere. What I mainly found tedious was a) the confirmation bias (author: everyone in the world is like meeee, and if they're not, they should be and I will advise them how to go about it) , and b) the irrelevance to the topic at hand (not general handy hints that pertain to cooking / finances / etc).

Format: Kindle. Fine.

[Richard Danks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't realise when I got this book that it was written primarily to and for women. However the advice and tips apply equally to both genders. Which makes me wonder why the author didn't use inclusive language.
Anyway the book is inspiring, encouraging and uplifting. It is crammed full of useful advice and practical tips in virtually every area with which a single person would encounter. As a senior male widower, living single for many years, I didn't think it would have much use for me. However, there were many areas which were relevant and appropriate to my situation, and which I have taken on board. It was also good to hear of someone with similar challenges with whom I could identify.
I highly recommend this to all persons who are single.

[Cíntia Fernandes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book! I bought it cause I love to live alone, but I needed some advice on how to deal with occasional loneliness and depression. Right from the first chapter I realised the author was actually living alone also, I felt like someone else finally understood me. The book has so much good content and it's written in such a light and fun way. It goes to my faves. Thanks a lot to the author for this treasure book. P.s.: as a bonus, this book comes packed with great quotes through the pages and a list of suggested reads on the back of the book - really thoughtful.

[Chelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gave me hope.

Jane Mathews’ The Art of Living Alone and Loving It is more than a guide for those living solo—it’s a manifesto for embracing independence and building a life that is both joyful and meaningful. Mathews combines practical advice, philosophical insights, and her own journey to craft a book that resonates deeply with readers, whether they are new to solo living or long-time veterans of it. Here’s a deeper dive into its key aspects:

Core Philosophy: Thriving vs. Surviving

Mathews begins with a challenge to the societal narrative that living alone is inherently lonely or unfulfilled. She reframes it as a rare opportunity for self-discovery and agency. For her, living alone is not a fallback or a compromise but a chance to create a life tailored entirely to one’s needs, preferences, and aspirations. This perspective runs throughout the book, inviting readers to see themselves as architects of their own happiness.

Key Themes Explored in Depth

1. The Art of Self-Care

Mathews dives into the importance of crafting rituals and routines that nurture body, mind, and soul.
• Physical Well-being: She discusses the power of exercise, nutritious meals, and even indulgent solo spa days. The emphasis is on making health a celebration rather than a chore.
• Mental and Emotional Health: Mathews encourages self-compassion and mindfulness practices, like journaling and meditation, to build resilience and keep loneliness at bay.
• The Joy of Solitude: By embracing activities like reading, gardening, or simply savoring a cup of coffee in silence, Mathews reframes solitude as a luxury rather than a limitation.

2. Crafting a Beautiful Home

Living alone offers an unmatched opportunity to design a personal sanctuary, and Mathews devotes significant attention to creating a home that reflects individuality.
• Decluttering with Purpose: She advocates letting go of items that no longer serve you and filling your space with objects that spark joy.
• Creative Expression: Mathews encourages readers to embrace their unique aesthetic, whether it’s quirky, minimalist, or maximalist.
• Functional Comfort: The book discusses arranging your living space to cater entirely to your needs—without compromise.

3. Financial Mastery

Financial independence is a cornerstone of living alone. Mathews provides practical strategies for:
• Budgeting and mindful spending.
• Saving for experiences that enrich your solo journey, like travel or classes.
• Planning for long-term stability, especially for those transitioning into single living after a partnership.

4. Overcoming Loneliness

While Mathews celebrates the freedom of solo living, she doesn’t shy away from addressing loneliness, a natural emotion for many. She offers strategies to combat it:
• Building Connections: Suggestions include joining clubs, volunteering, or taking up activities where like-minded individuals gather.
• Creating a “Solo Tribe”: Forming a supportive circle of friends who share your values and interests can fill the gaps traditionally occupied by a partner.
• Engaging with the World: She emphasizes the importance of staying curious and adventurous, whether through travel, learning new skills, or simply exploring your city.

5. Rediscovering Passion and Purpose

Living alone is an opportunity to rekindle passions, experiment with new hobbies, and live with intentionality. Mathews delves into:
• Hobbies as Identity: Pursuing interests without judgment or compromise.
• The Power of Dreams: Setting personal goals that bring excitement and purpose.
• Meaningful Work: Finding fulfillment in both paid and unpaid endeavors.

Interactive Tools and Exercises

Throughout the book, Mathews includes reflective exercises, checklists, and action plans to help readers apply her advice in a personalized way. For example:
• The Happiness Audit: A tool to evaluate what truly brings you joy and align your life accordingly.
• Redesigning Your Week: A step-by-step guide to infusing daily routines with intention and pleasure.
• Bucket Lists for the Soul: Encouragement to create a list of experiences you’d love to pursue without needing a companion.

Tone and Style

Mathews’ tone is warm, witty, and nonjudgmental. She writes as a friend who has been through the highs and lows of living solo and is now sharing her hard-earned wisdom. The anecdotes from her own life make the book relatable, while her humor keeps it light-hearted, even when tackling serious topics like loneliness or financial management.

Impactful Takeaways

1. Living alone is an art, not an adjustment. It’s about actively curating a life that reflects your true self.
2. Happiness is self-defined. Mathews reminds readers that joy comes from within and is not contingent on external circumstances.
3. Growth and independence are ongoing. Whether you’ve been single for years or are newly navigating this path, the journey of self-discovery and personal empowerment never truly ends.

Who Should Read This?

This book is perfect for:
• Newly single individuals looking for guidance and encouragement.
• Lifelong solo-dwellers who want to refresh their routines or outlook.
• Anyone seeking to redefine their relationship with independence and self-reliance.

Mathews leaves readers with a vital message: living alone can be one of life’s greatest adventures when embraced with intention and positivity. Whether you’re starting over or starting anew, this book is a roadmap to thriving on your own terms.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I’d read this book when I first lived alone, and not after I’d become old hat at it 😅 but although I skim read a lot of the book, I think there’s plenty of great advice and ideas in here, and written in a really accessible way without being over flowery or self indulgent like to many similar books are.

[Bela Bárbara]

Adorei, simplesmente.
Tem muitas dicas práticas de como viver sozinha e realmente AMAR fazê-lo.
Recomenda livros e músicas, sites.
Incrível

[Bookgirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

An inspiring read from someone who has mastered the art of living alone. Anyone who embraces Christmas Day alone has certainly reached the pinnacle of solo success in my book. This book has really helped me move from a state of begrudging acceptance of my situation to embracing who I am and forging my best life possible. It’s full of new perspectives and great ideas on making the most of life. It’s certainly made me realise that living alone can be a gift of freedom, of contentment and of truely getting to know yourself. It is, in fact, the ultimate journey.

[Jodie Gale · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5* Quite an enjoyable self-help book for those at the start of their self-development journey.

[Julia Doherty · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was keen to read The Art of Living Alone & Loving It because I promote solo-living as a positive in my world of adventure, independence and mental wellbeing. And in many ways, this book delivers. It offers a warm, encouraging message for anyone who finds themselves living on their own, showing that solo life doesn’t have to be lonely or lesser. Mathews writes with humour, honesty and a strong sense of self-worth. 

What works well
• The chapter on home life is useful: turning your space into somewhere YOU feel happy in, being comfortable with your own company, doing things you enjoy. The book emphasises that living alone can be a time of self-discovery and fulfilment, not simply a transition to “something else”. 
• It includes good practical tips: from home decor for one, to social habits (initiate the dinner invite, arrange your own “markers” in the diary) which made me nod in recognition. 
• The overall vibe is uplifting: Mathews wants us to accept that living alone isn’t a consolation prize, and for many it’s a deliberate, positive life choice. 

What doesn’t quite land for everyone
• The travel and leisure section leans quite aspirational — lots of holidays, solo trips, frequent-traveller style. If you’re living on a tighter budget or simply prefer community-based adventures, this part may feel a little out of reach.
• The finance chapter is interesting and well-intentioned (Mathews talks about her own post-divorce “financial blueprint”).  But for someone who is very independent, has lived on their own for years and already has their finances sorted, it may feel slightly dated or basic in places.
• If you’re already very confident living alone, habitual in your solo-life routines and quite headstrong in your independence, there are moments when the book assumes more of a “new soloist” audience rather than the seasoned solo-traveller. In those moments you might find yourself rolling your eyes a bit.

My verdict
If you are newly single, or you’ve just moved into your own place, or you’re giving yourself permission to live alone and love it—yes—I think this is a solid read. It offers encouragement, practical ideas and a kind companion in the pages.
If you’ve been living on your own for a while, are very self-reliant, used to setting your own path and budgets, then you’ll still find good parts in it (especially around home or mindset), but you may find some sections less relevant or a little “light” for your advanced solo-living status.

[Zena Lina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mathews talks about how regardless of the fact that it is frowned upon to be a single woman, us single ladies can live our best lives alone. All we have to do is budget and prioritise ourselves.

I do not agree with the sentiments laid out in this book because I think that women and people on general should try to be more social, more family oriented and to try to think about the long term consequences of not caring about being in a relationship.

I believe the emphasis should be on not settling for the wrong partner, not settling for being single.

Mathews even admits that single people are less likely to take care of themselves, then goes onto explain that it's society's fault singletons are not given as much consideration, and that surely you will be happier if you don't have to put the needs of others before yourself.

The whole books just come off as politically correct and self-contradictory. Which doesn't help people at all. It doesn't even bother to talk about men who are single — who would care about them?

[Guerra dos Livros · Rating 1 out of 5]

https://guerradoslivrosblog.blogspot....

Esperava bem mais deste livro. Achava que iria ter mais dicas e seria mais divertido, no entanto achei que era mas virado para divorciados e não tanto para quem só vive sozinho. Tem receitas, segredos financeiros, sobre o silêncio... mas com muito foco em "tive isto tudo quando fui casada", " já não tenho o som dos meus filhos", quando poderia ser só e simplesmente o bom de viver sozinha.

Muitas das dicas já são coisas que faço, de forma orgânica e senti que a autora escreveu como forma depreciativa pelo que ao contrário do esperado, achei que o livro mandava abaixo. Acho que o tema de viver sozinha podia ser mais falado e quais os medos e dúvidas que não são só do ponto de vista de divorciado.

[Bookbek · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was like sitting down with a friend for a catch-up. It was encouraging and light-hearted and completely avoided being patronising. The author is writing from lived experience and it showed. The author is Australian too, which is always nice.

That said, it didn't really teach me anything new, but it was a good refresher. The author covers all life areas (there is the usual mainstream attitude to losing weight in the health section so you may want to skim that). I liked that the author valued friendships over romantic relationships and I left feeling encouraged that I was more than capable of living the single life.

[Lé · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't get through it. I picked this book up because I was starting the process of living alone for the first time and this was definitely not the book for that. Maybe because I was raised as an only child and a latchkey kid that I'm perfectly fine with being by myself on a regular basis (in fact I may even prefer it on some days) I have just been nervous about the prospect and I turn to books to help me navigate it and prepare. I guess it's back to the library to find the book i'm looking for.

[Anthony · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

If you want something to make you actually think about going it solo, this book is a great choice. There are certain bits that made it seem a bit outdated (like the suggestion to do some 'smudging' around the house at one point, which, hell no), so I was surprised to see it was only published in 2018. Overall though, it is, in my honest opinion, a very useful book for those of us who are trudging through this life alone.

[Analuabc · Rating 3 out of 5]

Leitura interessante, sem cair em demasia nos tiques dos livros de auto-ajuda. Faz-nos reparar em alguns pormenores engraçados, como efectivamente n haver receitas para só uma pessoa, entre outras coisas, sempre pensadas para mais dum que um.
Alguns conselhos podem dizer mais à nossa realidade mas no geral abrange vários pontos que acabam sempre por tocar em todos os que vivem sozinhos. Não deixa de ser também engraçado de ver esta perspectiva não vivendo sozinho.

[Katie Cat Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nonfiction. Self help. Living alone.

Self help in the biggest way possible, this book discusses finances, routines, cooking, spirituality and more. Each chapter has a Summary and quotes. The author lives in Australia.

While this book has a lot of fluff and a lot can be skimmed or picked and chosen, I thought it was good overall. I found some good quotes and some chapters would be good to look back on over the year.

Give it a go.

[Miguel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Um livro muito interessante com dicas várias para quem vive sozinho. Embora seja escrito por uma mulher, para mulheres, o livro serve para qualquer pessoa.
No mundo ocidental as pessoas que vivem sozinhas são desconsideradas, at+e pela própria distribuiçºao alimentar onde não se fazem refeições embaladas para uma só pessoa, no geral.
A autora explica como tratar da vida para quem está sozinho e como usufruir desse estado de modo positivo.

[Jae · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a book with efforts. You can definitely tell the author has done research and was writing this book genuinely. Yet I feel like the intended audience of this book is very narrow. To me, the title of this book is how to live alone as a middle age divorced women in Australia and enjoy it. Nonetheless it was a joyful reading.

[Maddie Jeanette · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was ok! I feel like it had a few nuggets of wisdom and some good ideas, but there was also a lot of stuff that felt annoying and/or pointless to me that I skimmed.

I would recommend it to people who live alone and want to feel affirmed/encouraged with the benefits and challenges of living solo! I probably won’t reread it.

[Mookait · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a dedicated ‘loner’, I was looking for a few hints and tips to support a life I already enjoy. I found them and more. This book is a keeper and I will reread with a highlighter and tabs for pages with the ideas I can implement.

[Claudine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jane is like that wholesome older sister who gently breaks down the daunting adulting aspects of life into bite-sized pieces. Nothing too new, but definitely genuine, relatable, and helpful content for anyone looking for an easy read

[Jeanene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once again, the author has injected her humorous, unique voice into practical problem-solving for life. A quick read and totally relevant for over half of our modern society that lives alone.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Useful info most of which i know.

[Phoebe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book. Easy to read and very relatable. I enjoy the humor in it and the recommendations provided.

[Gizem · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Only read select chapters. Gets boring

[Rawa'A Naimat · Rating 5 out of 5]

truely inspirational