ALERT: LOOOONG REVIEW. TL,DR: UNBELIEVABLY GREAT READ FOR ME
This is hands down the best autobiography of a cricketer that I have read. And I am sure it's not merely a recency bias as well. Whenever anyone asked me about my books to island list, it would always contain 'Timeless Steel' - an anthology of writings on Rahul 'The Wall' Dravid - collected by ESPN Cricinfo and segmented into themes like 'The Cricketer', 'The Great Innings', 'The Man' etc. This led the book to have a narrative coherence despite the writings having been done across different periods. Married to Cricinfo's uncanny ability to romanticize this amazing game through their craft in penmanship the book turned out to be an outstanding treatise for me - a lover of the purest form of cricket (the Test match) and the dreamy emotions it evokes especially in the hands of the most skilled wordsmiths like Harsha Bhogle, Mark Nicholas, Suresh Menon, Jon Hotten and occasionally the man himself. The bar set by 'Timeless Steel' made me expect much much more from both Tendulkar's and Ganguly's memoirs. The former was so drab that despite being an ardent fan and an avid reader, I dropped it and couldn't get back to it. The latter was better but it was more emotion than lyricism in terms of writing. There was hardly any deep dwelling on significant goosebumps-inducing moments like Eden 2001 or Headingley 2002 or Adelaide 2003-04 and Ganguly felt rushed through events and their significance in his book.
With such a heavily conflicted mix of the expectation of lyrical writing that romanticizes cricket and the foreboding that writing as good as 'Timeless Steel' won't, can't, sadly ever be emulated did I pick Laxman's book through some quirky excerpt that flowed along my feed from somewhere in the waves of the ocean of the Internet that I surfed through a couple of weeks back. And the first chapter itself whirled me in and strummed the right strings in me so impeccably to make me realize that this was everything I yearned for from a cricketer's autobiography and more. The book opens with an account of that titular epic Kolkatta innings that defined his legacy once and for all. The sincerity and sheer simplicity of his manner was reflected in how he pours out about how his self-doubts were overwhelming him and he visited Shirdi Sai Baba's temple to bring his mind to a state of equilibrium. Anyone who reads those words can't help resonate with that feeling of helplessness that we all feel at some point in our lives. To read his anguish and know that his next innings would be an all time great one makes you so happy to look at the cover and see that openly glowing smile of pure deserving joy. You start to feel that it was apt that this man who suffered just as one of us would have in any endeavor in life, got to experience the elation of having overcome his obstacles.
There is that lingering and meditating on events that defined him, Indian cricket during his time, and his personal turmoils that was lacking in Ganguly's account. And I grew to respect Laxman so much because every word was sincere. He talks about his habits of putting in 100% efforts in whatever he does and you know it's true because he has shown it. And it was the same in his studies. He cleared EAMCET!! But he knew he couldn't give 100% to both medicine and cricket, so he had to choose and he chose cricket. He recognizes that despite his Dad being a doctor, he did not discuss about his choices which was the biggest encouragement they could give; that of not interfering. He remembers to acknowledge his uncle multiple times and remembers to show gratitude for several people you tend not to think about when you think of cricketers - like trainer Andrew Leipus, net bowlers, bat makers and the like; a throwback to the era where performances were steely but the performers were mellow.
And it's not just these middle class values that stand out. He is completely honest about all anecdotes; those of Tendulkar hating the confusion of runners and being frustrated by being dismissed because of the distraction, of his being dropped and picked without any consistency in logic, his tryst with batting out of position and failing more than succeeding, his white-ball failures, and the gross levels of communications between coach, captain and players before the John Wright-Ganguly era. All these struggles building up chronologically gave me goosebumps as it reached the crescendo of Wright telling Laxman that he was on par with Dravid-Tendulkar-Ganguly in that Indian middle order and that no matter what he would play the next ten Test matches. He is honest about his relationship with Wright deteriorating when he was confined to never being part of a World Cup squad and Wright admitting that he was part of it too.
His obvious respect for his peers, his observation of what to imbibe from each of them - Dravid's quest for perfection, Ganguly's never say die spirit, Kumble's lionheartedness, Dhoni's equanimity, Tendulkar's commitment to and passion for his art, Sehwag's happy go lucky style, Zaheer's laidback demeanor inside a tough core - penned with much thought and oozing with candour, made me love this book quite a few feet deeper. Dravid once said at a LitFest that I attended, in response to a query of when he would pen an autobiography that "if I write a book, it ought to be an honest book and that could invite unwanted attention and chaos for my family and myself. I am not ready to put them or myself through that. So no immediate plans to write one". And Laxman's memoir possesses that honesty. An honesty which couldn't be better evidenced than by the chapter 'Laughter and Loneliness' where he talks about feeling like he was staring at a 'deep dark long tunnel without even a flicker of light in sight' and not being sure if it was depression. And every major event since the mid-90s has been captured in exquisitely detailed words; words whose enchantment had drawn me in within the span of a mere three pages itself.
Special shoutout to R Kaushik, who from the acknowledgments, I gleaned, was responsible for the narrative structure that gave it that organic flow and cohesion I so admired in 'Timeless Steel'. I never expected any book to ever displace it in my books-to-island list and that's a feat as monumental as the masterpiece this humble giant etched on that era defining 2001 Kolkatta Test against the world's (and arguably cricket history's) best Test side. So clearly a stellar five star read for me.
P.S.
I feel this book deserves more readership than it currently has(though it's been only a month since it has been released). So, contrary to my usual reluctance in sharing my writing across different online platforms, I want to put this out to as many different spaces as I can, so that anyone who might be as touched as I was, might stumble upon this gem and feel ecstatically content.