Ana: A Memoir of Anorexia Nervosa

by Syanne Centeno

"Starving was my way of coping with life. If I was starving, then that meant that I did not have to face reality. I did not have to think. When you’re starving, you cannot think. Every day feels like an out-of-body experience, and everything sounds like you are swimming underwater. When you have Anorexia Nervosa, you aren’t living… you are merely existing. You become a walking corpse of the person you once were. Your life becomes about finding ways to satisfy your disorder and nothing else really matters. You know that there is a chance that you won’t wake up the next morning, but keeping the Anorexia alive is more important than keeping yourself alive. You convince yourself that as long as you are hungry that somehow everything is okay. This was my life for 10 ½ years. My name is Syanne Centeno and I found Anorexia as an eight-year-old little girl. You could say that I accidentally stumbled upon this illness, or maybe IT actually found ME. I didn’t know what Anorexia was, and had never heard of it. I actually didn’t hear the term “Anorexia Nervosa” until I was 14, but had unknowingly been engaging in eating disorder behavior for years prior. Anorexia is such a complex, perplexing disorder. Trying to explain why I developed this as a child is nearly impossible. The only thing I can do is write down my experience and take you on a journey in my shoes in hopes that this will help someone somewhere understand the realities of living with an eating disorder."

This is the account of Syanne's journey with severe Anorexia Nervosa (which she named "Ana"), a deadly psychiatric illness that haunts thousands of young girls and women each year. Throughout her honest, gut-wrenching tale she relives the horror of battling "Ana" for over a decade starting at the age of just eight-years-old, and how it nearly took her life. Along with Anorexia Nervosa, Syanne speaks of the other mental illness's she struggled with such as Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, and self- mutilation. Without holding back, Syanne highlights the realities of living with an eating disorder, and what it took for her to overcome it.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health

95 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 1, 2018

Reviews

[Valene Hill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I give this a 3.5
I liked the book and how she talked openly and honestly about her Eating Disorder, however at the end she called it a sin and that she should have turned to God sooner. I don’t feel that having an ED is a sin.

[Liralen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Short review for a short book: There's sort of a surprise success in the ending here, when Centeno mentions that one of the things that helped her recover from anorexia was competing in pageants. I'd have loved to see that explored more, since a) it seems pretty counterintuitive, b) it's not something I've seen a lot of in memoir, and c) right up until the last few pages, Centeno is still talking about struggling with anorexia and suicidal thoughts, and I'm not a fan of books that are like... 'strugglestrugglestrugglestruggle oh by the way I'm fine now'.

Also, really disappointing that, for a book in which she talks about being self-conscious about being Hispanic/visibly non-white, the cover has what appears to be some very white legs. This isn't a criticism of Centeno (it's a self-published book, and I'm thinking her options were limited) but rather something I take as a reflection of the available stock images, which...tsk tsk.

[cherry ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was okay, and almost ended okay — until the sudden insertion of religion. it would have been fine if it didn't seem so out of the blue. also hoped for a more in-depth discussion of her recovery process.

[Kim Roberts · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book. It was sad that she went through this and reading it made me sad for her. I wish we got more on her recovery and the pageantry part of it. I’m glad she’s doing better b

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth reading

I feel like parts of this book were pulled from my life. Ana is selfish, demanding & all consuming. She ruled every aspect of my life with an iron fist. She tries to make an appearance still. Luckily, I have a wonderful family & an incredible therapist!

[DesertReal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was interesting- it helped me understand how a friend of mine...

That's a new mom could relapse after so many years of success. Like the author of this book, she also suffers from BPD, and there's a lot I didn't get about the disease. But I digress- this book wasn't bad. The way everything is worded is what struck me as odd. It was kind of... oddly detached. Like if you were watching a foreign film, that's dubbed over in english. After awhile it becomes less distracting, but it never completely sounds real or normal. But if that's the authors way of relating events- I can't knock her for it. The missing star is because of the abrupt end after taking a really odd turn. And also- I understand not being close to her sister but damn. It's obvious the disease had consumed the family, and the only way the kids at school would know she was hospitalized was because her sister was talking about it. I'm curious if they have a relationship now as adults and what her thoughts were growing up like that. Did she feel eclipsed? Invisible? So many unanswered questions and other directions this story could've gone other than, "... read the bible." The end.

[Gail Hollingsworth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting book to read. I’ve always been fascinated by the subject of anorexia. How can someone go days or even weeks without eating? I love food, maybe too much.
Syanne began skipping meals when she was only eight years old. Bullying was a trigger that started this deadly journey. Gradually she ate less and less as she progressed through her teenage years. I was shocked how terribly she was treated in a facility that was supposed to help those with eating disorders. She called her disease Ana, and talked about Ana like it was a real person. She struggled for years. Spiritually she finally turned to God for strength. The body needs help physically, emotionally, mentally but most of all spiritually. She offers locations to contact at the end of her book for those that need help.
This was a personal purchase and I reviewed it of my own free will.

[Ami Reece · Rating 2 out of 5]

Needs some revisions work

If you are a reader who struggles to read 'imperfect' words, then you should skip this book. It is clear that this short book was not well edited or reviewed for basic grammar/mechanic conventions.

Beyond grammar and mechanics, the text is poorly outlined. In the beginning she will jump from 15 to 12 to 13 to 11. The lack of organization makes it confusing to track because sometimes she gives her age and other times she uses dates. It's difficult to middle through.

Finally, the ending is severely rushed. We have lots of details about her struggle with Ana, but she provides no details about her recovery. The end basically just says "I got better when I was 19. Here are some resources so you can get better."

[Julie York · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ana: A Memoir of Anorexia Nervosa

This was a good book about a girl that suffered from Anorexia. It was interesting what this girl went through. It wasn't the best story, but it wasn't the worst.

[Traceylee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why

About a teenager that was anorexic and also into cutting. About the struggles with being in hospital programs to get recovery

[Raivon Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Read

Her story is real and raw. It doesnt follow the stereotypical ED story lines. I was given a terrifying view of inpatient ED treatment, that I didn’t expect.

[Ebony Townsend · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it

Such an insightful read. I was captured by every word. I couldn't put my phone down. I wanted there to be more