Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids

by Kristen A Jenson

Want a comfortable way to talk with your kids about pornography? This newly revised edition of the original bestseller from Defend Young Minds makes that daunting discussion easy! Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a read-aloud story about a mom and dad who explain what pornography is, why it’s dangerous, and how to reject it.

Featuring easy-to-understand science and simple analogies, this internationally-acclaimed book engages young kids to porn-proof their own brains.

With Good Pictures Bad Pictures, your child will never be caught off guard by disturbing videos or peer pressure! The 5-point CAN DO Plan™ teaches kids exactly what to do to protect their young minds when they see pornography.

“I am so grateful for this book! It was a great way to talk to my children about pornography without that awkward, uncomfortable feeling.” Lisa

Parents don’t need to wonder what to say--simply read Good Pictures Bad Pictures to your child and move forward with confidence! You can even use this book before beginning the sex talks!

Check out these new features in the second edition."Let's Talk!" discussion questions at the end of each chapter help kids deepen their understanding so they’ll be even more prepared to reject pornography.All new Tips for Parents and Caregivers section offers practical advice for raising porn-proof kids in the digital age..The most up-to-date science provides kids with even more powerful arguments against pornography.A beautifully redesigned interior makes it easier and more fun to read!

Genres: Parenting, Childrens, Nonfiction, Picture Books, Christian Living, Kids, Health

49 pages, Paperback

First published March 13, 2014

Reviews

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Pictures Bad Picturesfollow is the story of a mom and dad talking to their son about “good pictures” and “bad pictures”. Together, mother and child learn how pornography can poison your mind and the powerful, addictive control it can have over you (often times more so than substance abuse). Mother teacher son how to recognize pornography, how it affects your brain and body, how little bodies react when innocent eyes see it, the different parts of the brain that are affected, and a plan to help fight it’s influence. Dad reenforces the lessons given and adds his perspective. Using the imagery of “the thinking brain” and “the feeling brain” you and your child can easily talk about how pornography often times leads to addictions, dehumanization, and lies. I was amazed at how well this book tackled this difficult subject. In the introduction the authors list the reasons for writing this book, tell you how the book is organized, and how to use it. It is written in a way that can appeal to parents of children of ALL ages. There is no graphic content and it can be easily understood by children young and old, regardless of their knowledge of the reproductive system.

There are so many things about parenting that no one warns you about. How to protect your kids from the pervasive influence of pornography is one of them. We know very well how we need to be proactive in protecting our children from physical harm, kidnapping, molestation, etc.; protecting them from their own minds and destructive behaviors is just as important. Teach your boys AND your girls (this is no longer an exclusively male issue) how to recognize pornography, flee from it when they see it, and (most importantly) to be open and honest with you when it happens… because in this day and age, it’s not a matter of if… but when.

{I was given a copy of this book in exchange for review. All opinions are my own}

[Jes · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you want to stunt your child's sexual discovery and slut shame them for years to come, then this is the book for you! Not only is this book a gross abuse of highly coordinated research that supports only what they want to see/hear, it's full of misinformation and propagates a culture of sexual repression. I'm pretty vanilla as far as my own curiosity in sex goes and this still horrified me. This book equates porn with addiction. I think the climax of which was reached with a group of watercolored adults holding signs saying YOU CAN DO IT, STOP PORNOGRAPHY. Wow. Just...Wow.

[Shiloah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an important book for all families.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely NOT a shaming book. In fact, it talks about what LOVE actually is and it IS an honest, albeit simplistic, look at what pornography and other addictions do to the brain and it's development. I know from experience how destructive addiction is, in both children and adults. It is perfectly age-appropriate and it has questions to continue the discussion after each chapter. I look forward to reading this with my boys.

[CC · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I've seen to protect children from pornography.

It is designed for parents to read with their kids - boys and girls - as young as seven.

The main book is a transparent analogy of a mother talking to her son, and then the father and son talking at the end about good pictures and bad pictures. The "two brains" science and CAN DO plans are phenomenal! The protagonist looks about 10-12, but the plot and wording are simple and conceptual enough that it can (and should) be read even with younger kids while protecting their innocence.

Before reading it I had concerns about the recommendation to go through this with children as young as 7, but now that I've read it I agree that 7 is NOT too young and wish I'd found this when it was first published. Smart devices mean that even well-protected, innocent kids in good families are getting exposed - and addicted - far earlier.

I almost rated it 4-stars because I mildly reworded a couple of sentences to be clearer, and I think it would be good to have versions with a girl protagonist and single parents, too. Hopefully www.pornproofkids.org will get the resources to do so. In the end I think 5 stars is fitting - it's by far the best out there and will be worth re-reading, too.

Highly recommended!

ETA: there is a version for even younger kids, can't wait to check it out.

[Molly Gould · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is definitely a good book to read with your kids to prepare them before they are exposed to pornography (because they will be) and a great book to read with your kids after they have been exposed to pornography.

It explains that there are good pictures (think family pictures in a family photo album) and bad pictures (pornography). It explains that we have 2 different types of brains. Our thinking brains and our feeling brains. I love the explanation between the thinking and feeling brains and I even learned some things myself about how brains work and how we can better control our feeling brain with our thinking brain.

I also like that it opens up a conversation with our children about pornography so that when they are exposed, they feel more comfortable coming and talking to their parents about it.

I will be reading this with my 9 and 11 year old girls and will probably wait till my sons are 7 or 8 to read it to them.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book to everyone that has kids and wants to protect them from pornography and wants to help their kids when they are exposed to pornography.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great way to make a hard subject easy to discuss. It has chapters that give examples of how to start the conversation and what you should do when you are confronted with the problem. It teaches you that you have two brains, the thinking and the feeling brain, which provides more insight on how addictions can happen. Most importantly, it teaches how you can react when you come upon porn in the first place. It seems to be more of “when” and not “if” circumstance these days.

At the end of each chapter there is a section to review what you learned so you can make sure everything is sinking in. The back contains a glossary of terms as well as additional reading and websites. It is one of the better resources I have seen.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this to my boys tonight. We've had the "porn" talk before but this helped us come up with a "can do" plan. I enjoyed discussing the different parts of the brain and how we could strengthen our "thinking brain." I wish the author had added an extra chapter to this book about intimacy and affectionate expression between two people who love each other so the kids can differentiate between loving affection vs. porn relations. Of course I talked to my kids about that after reading the book.

[Jenae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent should read this with their tween son (and daughter). I have had this book for nearly a year but didn’t read it with my 10-year old son as I didn’t want to pique his curiosity. My husband and I finally decided that we wanted to be the ones to address this issue before he had the chance to be exposed to it on accident or by one of his friends showing him. The day I started reading this with my son, he said he had seen pornography on the computer at school while he was doing research for a class report. After searching myself to figure out how bad it was, I was relieved to know it was very “mild” and he could probably see worse by opening a magazine or seeing an advertisement on tv. But I was so thankful for the timing of when we began to read this book.

[Troy Nevitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Second edition)
This is a simple, clear, and engaging book for introducing, without sensationalizing pornography. It's clear, and non-abrasive. It has great questions at the end of each chapter to help children remember what was read to then and practical steps to think about each section of the book. Highly recommended when you deem it appropriate for your child.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Can I just say, for the record, that I haaaaaate that we live in a world where I have to read a book about pornography to my eight-year-old, because kids her age are getting phones which are connected to the ENTIRETY OF THE INTERNET (whyyyy?!?) and I need to make sure she isn't blindsided by a friend or teammate who wants to show her something. But, given that it is the world we live in, I am thankful to have a book like Good Pictures Bad Pictures to use to start the conversation using age-appropriate language. The Junior version was a good fit for the younger ones, and I'll be waiting a little while longer before reading them this one.

[Stephen Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was very impressed with this book. It’s everything you would hope from a book on a subject you would hope to never have to discuss. It’s a 5/5 in every category: length, content, illustrations, directions.
- Length: short, to the point, not daunting for parent and child.
- Content: this book calls porn what it is, without compromise, but in a way to address it to your child without shaming and without giving more information to stumble from. There is also a scientific explanation of why porn excites and becomes addictive.
- Illustrations: there are no illustrations that are graphic or pornographic. They are also full color, relatable(like the cover) and not dated pencil drawings.
- Directions: not only does the book identify porn in a definition, and explain reactions and consequences, but it gives a clear plan of what to do if they encounter pornography.

No one wants to have this discussion with their kids, and will likely feel a struggle to know what to say. This book is a great resource for parents and children, and will be a good icebreaker as it’s written in a way that you can just hand to your kids, instead of shouldering everything yourself.

Another fantastic aspect is that it is not a shame based message - which is something that seems particularly difficult for Christians to balance as we handle our prudent understandings, while also recovering from the purity culture collapse of recent years. This book doesn’t imply to your child that they are ruined or impure if they’ve seen porn, nor inevitably addicted because of their biology. It presents an understanding of feelings surrounding pornography, as well as an optimistic way to avoid and recover.

⚠️ Parental Warning ⚠️
The book handles the entire topic well for your child. The back of the book has a parents section that you may want to choose to withhold from your child depending on age. It is written for adults and mentions more specifically, but not gratuitously, the existence of porn in the context of, rape, etc. But don’t let this discourage you from getting the rest of the book to your kids when you feel they need to have the overall topic of pornography breached, to include addressing pictures of nudity and partial nudity, not just sex.

[Jeffrey McDowell · Rating 5 out of 5]

In today's sex saturated society where children are getting exposed at younger and younger ages, there must be resources for parents or those who work with children in an age appropriate setting. This book is excellent, starts the conversation, and provides tools for both parents and children in combating the epidemic of pornography.

[Shauna · Rating 5 out of 5]

You may not know that you know...but...

EVERYONE KNOWS SOMEONE WHO IS ADDICTED TO PORNOGRAPHY.

Pornography is a plague destroying families, agency, and ultimately self-esteem.

Pornography is touching the lives of even our young children.

Never before has it been so important to teach children the effects of looking at pornography.

This book is PERFECT for doing just that!

This book will teach children:

*The difference between good pictures and bad pictures.

*Why pornography is harmful.

*What pornography addiction is.

*The difference between the "feeling brain" and the "thinking brain."

*The way the "attraction center of the brain" works.

*How and why pornography tricks the brain.

*What you CAN DO when you see pornography.

"To stay safe in the digital age, kids must install an internal filter in their own brain. Good Pictures Bad Pictures shows them how."

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK TO UNDERSTAND THE DAMAGING EFFECTS OF PORNOGRAPHY.

BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN!
BEAUTIFULLY PUT TOGETHER!
MAKES IT EASY TO TALK ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY!

If you have young children PLEASE read and discuss this book with them.
We need to talk more about pornography!
Take the secrecy and shame from it!
It hurts! Let's fight back!

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful new book for parents to read with children to help open a dialogue about pornography and teach them ways to protect themselves from images they WILL see. Pornographic images are forced upon all of us, and children begin looking at pornography between the ages of 7 and 13. Parents significantly underestimate the negative exposures children have. Porn addiction can be even more difficult to overcome than a drug addiction.

The book teaches children how to filter and avoid that which will addict them and take away their happiness. They will be taught CAN DO. 5 simple steps to protect them.

Our Church News had an article about this book on Nov.2, 2014. I highly recommend this book to all my family and friends.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for teaching young children about pornography. We read one chapter each week together. The idea that we have 2 brains is REVOLUTIONARY. Our kids (3-6yrs old) totally understood it and I've applied that concept to so many other situations unrelated to pornography. "Yes it feels good to eat lots of candy. Your feeling brain wants candy! But your thinking brain needs to be in charge and eat vegetables and fruits too" (You get the idea). But that two brain concept allows to explain their mistakes (and pornography and sex) in a way that takes shame totally out of the situation, which is KEY!! I highly recommend this book.

I first heard of this book on a podcast on PowerofMoms.com. Definitely worth checking out to hear the author and get more info about the book.

[Apzmarshl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not going to sugar coat it, the book was a smidge cheesy. However, it did a great job explaining the science behind why pornography is so alluring and what happens to your brain when you are exposed. Unlike a lot of other harmful things that take some effort to go looking for, pornography will expose itself to your kids. Having a constant open discussion about this and other addictions is so important. Especially as our culture grapples with rape, sexual assault, violence, and consent. It's important to discuss the purpose of a body and it's appropriate sexual functions, and dispell the more common belief that our bodies are meant only as ornaments or objects for other people's pleasure.

10/19 family home evening

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say enough good things about this book. It explains porn in a way that young kids (who may not know the particulars of sex) can understand it and gives them an acronym to remember how to protect themselves from porn. I love how they talk about the thinking brain vs the feeling brain and how porn makes your feeling brain take over the thinking brain. It's a great way to explain this to kids. It's set up in the premise of a mom talking to her young son about pornography and has a question/worksheet at the end of each chapter for discussion.

[Whitney Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book with the simple dialogue you can use to talk to your children about the dangers of pornography. If you have small ones there is a Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr for kids ages 3-6. This is a book we will probably share with our kids annually.

[Isha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. I read this to my kids, it was their first time hearing any of this information and it’s so well done. Very to the point, lots of room for discussion about other things like how the brain works + addiction in general.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an empowering, wholesome way to teach kids about what pornography is, an explanation on its destructiveness, and how everyone can combat it!

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book to start a conversation with my daughter.

[Craig Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

We read this with our girls (9 & almost 11) and it very age-appropriately introduced them to the topic of pornography and how to respond if (when?) they are exposed to it. It also had really helpful information about how their brains work, which were helpful conversation starters about other topics. I appreciate that the book works if a child hasn’t seen porn or already has. This is a great parenting resource and I’m thankful for the helpful tools it provides.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great talking points!

A little "cringe" for my kids, but they caught on pretty quickly and took it to heart at 9 & 7.

[Stacy Atherton Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't read this completely verbatim, but I used it as a tool to discuss this very important subject with 2 of my boys. I plan to use this with my younger children, as well, because I found it very helpful with knowing how to approach the discussion of pornography.

[Jenny Mullin · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an excellent resource! I wish I had this when my boys are young. When it comes to porn, parents need to be proactive. As the book says, "When it comes to kids and pornography, ignorance is risk." This helps kids identify porn very young -- even if you haven't had the "talk" with them yet. Recommended for ages 7 and up.

[Michael Escalante · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think it is critical that parents take a deliberate approach to discussing sexuality and pornography with their children. I thought this book was pretty average but even if parents only followed the outline of the book it would still have positive and important impact are their children. I think the authors could have spent more time outlining reasons that porn can be extremely damaging to child development; they seemed to take that as a given. Many parents could benefit from reasons (and appropriate language to explain those reasons to children) that pornography is dangerous.

That said, if you're a parent and your kids are still kids, I recommend you take this subject on and this book is a fine place to start. My wife and I are reading a few others and we'll post our thoughts on them soonish...

[Jenne Glover · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mother of four boys ages 5 to 13, I have struggled to know how to prepare them for damaging images they might run across, be shown, or seek out. This simply illustrated book is a perfect instrument to gently, truthfully, logically introduce your kids to the nasty world you hope they never see. I have read through it with my 13 and 10 year old boys and will read through it with my next two boys when they are probably about 8 or 9. I believe every family raising kids today needs to have this book on their shelf.

[Kaijsa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished reading this with my 7 yr old. I loved it and surprisingly, she loved it! I expected her to be weirded-out by it, but it's really told in language that she understood and appreciated. She now has a plan and knows what to do if ever she is exposed to pornography. She knows what to call it and knows that she can keep her brain safe by following the plan. I am going to pass this book around to my friends. Imagine the good that could come from a whole generation of kids who are porn-proof!

[Elisabeth Ensor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for every parent with their child who is 7 years and older! Opens up the conversation about pornography in a safe and comfortable way! My son loved the story between the mother/son and stopped me several times to ask questions. I had been dreading this talk and instead it was a wonderful read aloud and special time of creating trust and starting the dialogue of addiction, our "2 brains" and what to do when you see porn. Can not recommend it enough- buying the Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr for my 5 year old, so grateful to have this book!