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664 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1898
One pretty autumn evening, when the weekly passenger boat slowly steamed out through the endless bends of the fjords on the way to Copenhagen, Peter Andreas stood at the sternpost with a bag slung over his shoulder and looked back at the town that grew gradually darker against the pink evening sky. His departure from home had cost him no tears. Even his goodbyes to his mother were made without great emotion.
Bitterness was eating him up, making him as averse to company as to the dark, sickly notion still stirring in him of deliberately and consciously pursuing the chase…
In these days of bad luck, the same gloomy, irritable sense of loneliness came back that had oppressed him growing up in his childhood home, where, living with his parents and siblings, he had felt homeless, and now he felt himself a stray alien in conventional society.
The thought had for some time been smoldering in him. His day-by-day development was leading him away from her. He realized how essentially different they were and how poorly Jakobe, with her peculiar, forbidding character, would be adapted to the free and easy exuberant life of pleasure that now was before him as the goal of a new Renaissance. With a joyous flare and the clang of cymbals, the troll attire could be buried in the earth at home.
With all his natural strength, he was a man without passion and without the instinct for self-preservation, or, more to the point, he possessed only the negative traits of passion – its cold, night side: defiance, selfishness, and obstinacy – not its stormy desire, its devouring longing, its hard and purifying, glowing flame.
When we are young, we make immoderate demands on those powers that steer existence. We want them to reveal themselves to us. The mysterious veil under which we have to live offends us; we demand to be able to control and correct the great world-machinery. When we get a little older, in our impatience we cast our eye over mankind and its history to try to find, at last, a coherence in laws, in progressive development; in short, we seek a meaning to life, an aim for our struggles and suffering. But one day, we are stopped by a voice from the depths of our being, a ghostly voice that asks: "Who are you?" From then on, we hear no other question.