I first picked up this book when I was working in Ukraine. It baffled me, those little kids that would come up to me and crawl into my lap, and cling to me, just needing a little bit of warmth and love, and who would prefer me - even though they’d known me for only a couple of days, and even though I could barely speak their language. What was going on in their minds, that they could get attached so quickly to a stranger? I had mostly known securely attached kids who could take or leave strangers, and were only preferential to their parents. So I picked up this book hoping to understand a little more what was going on, and also what to do.
Attachment theory is a developing field. This book began with a basic explanation of the current theories of attachment styles, which I confess I still don’t fully understand. It covered some case studies of various people - children and adults - who had attachment issues, and how they worked through them.
The real gem of the book though was the worksheets. They are intended for “clients” to fill out on their own, but contain helpful questions even for conversations to get a person thinking and examining their subconscious actions. There were some great ones to ask a child struggling with their relationship with neglectful parents - honestly just great stuff to open up a conversation and start getting into the bones of what’s going on. Lots for me to think about and probably refer back to as another tool in the toolbox of ministering.