Best Of Bad Hemingway, Vol. 1: Choice Entries From the Harry's Bar and American Grill Imitation Hemingway Competition

by Harry's Bar & American Grill

The rules of the competition are simple: sound like Hemingway and be funny. A "Trophy Room" section here includes Papa parodies from the past by F. Scott Fitzgerald, E. B. White, Raymond Chandler, et al. Introduction by George Plimpton; caricatures.

Genres: Humor, Fiction, Short Stories

192 pages, Paperback

First published April 28, 1989

Reviews

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here is a book of short Hemingway parodies from the Imitation Hemingway Competition. A number of them are very amusing. If you are familiar with the Nobel Prize winner's unique style, then you will probably chuckle over a few of these, most of which make references to some of his classic stories. There are a couple of drawbacks, tho. For one, each piece had to mention the bar/restaurant that sponsored the competition. Secondly, this does not hold up to sustained reading - it is better to just read one or two of the pieces at a time.

It must be said that this is entertaining reading. How can one not like a book that contains passages like this: "For three days the sea heaved the old man's boat against the dock like a bad meal. . . . It was a good day to untie knots. The wind was like the breath of a dog. The sky was the blue that the locals call azul. The sea was as wet as that gooey part when you dissect a cow's eye. . . . He had not caught a fish since 1937. The people of Cacaverde were beginning to mutter that his boat Malsuerte was not lucky. 'Barnarcles are not bad to eat,' he told himself, 'but I must bring Barnacle Helper next time." Et cetera.

[Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you want to read Hemingway.... BAD Hemingway... this is your book. I read about a dozen stories. They were short vignettes by amateur writers trying to imitate the worst writing of Papa. I put it down, couldn't stomach it anymore. It gets three stars... because it doesn't s as advertised... bad Hemingway. It only took twenty five pages for me to say I think I get the picture" as Joe Pesci would say in "My Cousin Vinny".

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ironically, most of the stories are just unfortunately poorly written or rely too much on lame puns and wordplay. Otherwise, stories like "The Snooze of Kilimanjaro," "A Farewell to Lunch," "Hills Like White Heffalumps" and "The Only Good Spaniard" are excellent in this collection. F. Scott Fitzgerald and Raymond Chandler's contributions are also fantastic.

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re a fan of Hemingway’s writing or Hemingway the bigger than life persona you will find this book very entertaining. And if you’re a reader you surely encountered some of Hemingway’s writing at some point so you will laugh out loud over these submissions that parody the cadence of Hemingway’s writing. I first read this book ages ago and pick it up periodically for a laugh when I stumble on it hidden in the thousands of other books in my collection. Past winners of the contest include submissions such as "The Old Man and the Flea"(2002 winner), "The Bug Count also Rises,” and "Across the Suburbs and Into the Express Lane at Von's" (2000 winner).

The contest is sponsored by Harry’s Bar & American Grill in Century City (CA) one of the eponymously named “Harry’s Bars” around the world that are knock-offs of the real HB opened by Giuseppe Cipriani in Venice in 1931. The stories surrounding the mythical “Harry” (reportedly a GI who borrowed 30,000 Lire from Cipriani years before and vanished only to return some years later with the amount borrowed + interest which enabled him to open a high class bar/restaurant which alas he decided to name “Harry’s”) are legion. The success of HB has spawned multiple knock-offs that claim to be the original thing in places as far flung as NYC, Buenos Aires, CA, Paris and elsewhere, but in reality there is only one and no trip to Venice is complete w/o stopping by Harry’s (where sadly the white-jacketed waiters have the martini’s pre-mixed to serve from pitchers because of the number of non-locals that traipse thru the place). Ironically, I can barely find my way to work w/o a GPS but I can give you directions to Harry’s Bar: With your back to San Marco and facing the water take the promenade to the right and stroll as far as you can until you encounter the first alley (which naturally turns to the right as well) and there, again on your immediate right you will find Harry’s. But before you go, don’t forget to ready EH’s story “A Clean Well-Lighted Place” and as you sit in the glory of the place that Hemingway spent many a drunken day during his time you can’t help but wonder if this is the bar he was thinking of as he wrote about the onward march of time and on-set of old age that catches us all. Let’s hoist a martini to Ernest at Harry’s bar… cheers.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

donated copy