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A Book of Burlesques
This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it.
This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work.
Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. To ensure a quality reading experience, this work has been proofread and republished using a format that seamlessly blends the original graphical elements with text in an easy-to-read typeface.
We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.
This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work.
Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. To ensure a quality reading experience, this work has been proofread and republished using a format that seamlessly blends the original graphical elements with text in an easy-to-read typeface.
We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.
242 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1916
24 people are currently reading
101 people want to read
About the author
H.L. Mencken
637 books728 followersHenry Louis "H.L." Mencken became one of the most influential and prolific journalists in America in the 1920s and '30s, writing about all the shams and con artists in the world. He attacked chiropractors and the Ku Klux Klan, politicians and other journalists. Most of all, he attacked Puritan morality. He called Puritanism, "the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
At the height of his career, he edited and wrote for The American Mercury magazine and the Baltimore Sun newspaper, wrote a nationally syndicated newspaper column for the Chicago Tribune, and published two or three books every year. His masterpiece was one of the few books he wrote about something he loved, a book called The American Language (1919), a history and collection of American vernacular speech. It included a translation of the Declaration of Independence into American English that began, "When things get so balled up that the people of a country got to cut loose from some other country, and go it on their own hook, without asking no permission from nobody, excepting maybe God Almighty, then they ought to let everybody know why they done it, so that everybody can see they are not trying to put nothing over on nobody."
When asked what he would like for an epitaph, Mencken wrote, "If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."
(from American Public Media)
At the height of his career, he edited and wrote for The American Mercury magazine and the Baltimore Sun newspaper, wrote a nationally syndicated newspaper column for the Chicago Tribune, and published two or three books every year. His masterpiece was one of the few books he wrote about something he loved, a book called The American Language (1919), a history and collection of American vernacular speech. It included a translation of the Declaration of Independence into American English that began, "When things get so balled up that the people of a country got to cut loose from some other country, and go it on their own hook, without asking no permission from nobody, excepting maybe God Almighty, then they ought to let everybody know why they done it, so that everybody can see they are not trying to put nothing over on nobody."
When asked what he would like for an epitaph, Mencken wrote, "If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."
(from American Public Media)
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
May 3, 2011
GILBERT-AND-SULLIVANESQUE.
“Self-respect: The secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.”—page 70
Why is it that when reading Mencken one feels that they’d be more comfortable if they were wearing a flak jacket?
Once again, in his ‘A Book of Burlesques,’ Mencken, the master of irreverence, gives forth a collection of philosophical dog-droppings running the gamut from downright boring to uproariously hilarious.
Now I’m looking forward to reading his ‘In Defense of Women.’ I’m sure that women-hood will never be in more need of defending than after reading what H. L. has to say in their defense.
Recommendation: ‘A Book of Burlesques’ offers a glimpse into the warped mind of Mencken. That may not be everyone’s cup of pomegranate wine. Read at your own risk.
“Man weeps to think that he will die so soon. Woman, that she was born so long ago.”—page 72
A Project Gutenberg ePub edition [www.gutenberg.org], 84 pages.
“Self-respect: The secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.”—page 70
Why is it that when reading Mencken one feels that they’d be more comfortable if they were wearing a flak jacket?
Once again, in his ‘A Book of Burlesques,’ Mencken, the master of irreverence, gives forth a collection of philosophical dog-droppings running the gamut from downright boring to uproariously hilarious.
Now I’m looking forward to reading his ‘In Defense of Women.’ I’m sure that women-hood will never be in more need of defending than after reading what H. L. has to say in their defense.
Recommendation: ‘A Book of Burlesques’ offers a glimpse into the warped mind of Mencken. That may not be everyone’s cup of pomegranate wine. Read at your own risk.
“Man weeps to think that he will die so soon. Woman, that she was born so long ago.”—page 72
A Project Gutenberg ePub edition [www.gutenberg.org], 84 pages.
September 18, 2020
Mencken is a funny man he writes about life situations in a truth that cuts through all bullshit .
An example
"The Eternal Democrat.
A Socialist, carrying a red flag, marched through the gates of Heaven.
“To Hell with rank!” he shouted. “All men are equal here.”
Just then the late Karl Marx turned a corner and came into view, meditatively stroking his whiskers. At once the Socialist fell upon his knees and touched his forehead to the dust.
“O Master!” he cried. “O Master, master!!"
What can you say but Mencken is full of such hilarious truths.
An example
"The Eternal Democrat.
A Socialist, carrying a red flag, marched through the gates of Heaven.
“To Hell with rank!” he shouted. “All men are equal here.”
Just then the late Karl Marx turned a corner and came into view, meditatively stroking his whiskers. At once the Socialist fell upon his knees and touched his forehead to the dust.
“O Master!” he cried. “O Master, master!!"
What can you say but Mencken is full of such hilarious truths.
July 16, 2016
This book is nothing more than H. L. Mencken's stream of consciousness on paper. I have no idea who Mencken is, but I would not want to meet him based on this book, which is a constant stream of boring. I was certain that this would be a book I could engage easily with because of the short story structure. I was totally mistaken. Maybe the humor/philosophy is too mature for a young'n like me.
January 18, 2021
When I run across a Mencken column at random it is usually either interesting or funny or both. When those columns finally convince me to read one of his collections, the collection seems to collect either the least of his writing or the most bound by its time, to the point of being incomprehensible without that lost cultural knowledge.
This is a very old collection; Mencken’s introduction is from February 1920, and in it he says that some of them predate World War I and prohibition. The latter is semi-obvious, as national prohibition began in January of 1920.
Toward the beginning is what appears to be a review of a concert:
However, it’s titled “From the Program of a Concert”, which, along with the mashup of names, led me to suspect it to be a satire. I only became sure of it several pages later:
Some of it reads like satire, but I have no idea what is being skewered:
A lot of the pieces are like this, something moderately humorous surrounded by something that probably would have been humorous when it was written. From “The Wedding. A Stage Direction”:
That piece also has a description that remains a complaint today:
And has one critic complaining that the pianist is “Too fast!” and another “Too slow!”
In “Seeing the World” his traveler voices a common refrain about the Germans that would have an entirely different meaning in half a century:
One of the strangest is “Asepsis. A Deduction in Scherzo Form”. A year ago and I would probably have classed this with the other pieces, as filled with cultural references I only partially understand. It’s probably about the eugenics of the progressive movement he skewers in some of his best essays (but which is not mentioned here). But now, it very strongly resembles our current response to COVID-19, with people reusing supposedly protective apparel that was never medically clean to begin with, spraying every surface, and ostracizing everyone who does not succumb to every aspect of the madness, it sounds pretty normal.
The clergyman then goes through a list of ailments and symptoms that presumably, if answered in the affirmative, would cancel the wedding. Fortunately, the bride and groom are symptom-free, and exchange “sterile rings”. They are married, and “THE CLERGYMAN… washes his hands with green soap. The Bridesmaids proceed to clean up the room with the remaining bichloride.”
History doesn’t always repeat, but it does its best to rhyme.
Toward the end, “Vers Libre” is a satirical dictionary; Mencken makes a lot of what would now be very stale jokes about marriage.
It also contains his famous quote about democracy.
This is a very old collection; Mencken’s introduction is from February 1920, and in it he says that some of them predate World War I and prohibition. The latter is semi-obvious, as national prohibition began in January of 1920.
Toward the beginning is what appears to be a review of a concert:
“Ruhm und Ewigkeit” (Fame and Eternity), a symphonic poem in B flat minor, Opus 48, by Johann Sigismund Timotheus Albert Wolfgang Kraus (1872- ).
However, it’s titled “From the Program of a Concert”, which, along with the mashup of names, led me to suspect it to be a satire. I only became sure of it several pages later:
The directions in the score say mit Glaserkitt (that is, with glazier’s putty), but the Konzertmeister at the Gewandhaus, Herr F. Dur, substituted ordinary pumpernickel with excellent results. It is, in fact, now commonly used in the German orchestras in place of putty, for it does less injury to the varnish of the violins, and, besides, it is edible after use. It produces a thick, oily, mysterious, far-away effect.
Some of it reads like satire, but I have no idea what is being skewered:
It was reported in the German papers at the time that ten members of the orchestra, including the first flutist, Ewald Löwenhals, resigned during the rehearsals, and that the intervention of the King of Saxony was necessary to make them reconsider their resignations. One of the second violins, Hugo Zehndaumen, resorted to stimulants in anticipation of the opening performance, and while on his way to the hall was run over by a taxicab.
A lot of the pieces are like this, something moderately humorous surrounded by something that probably would have been humorous when it was written. From “The Wedding. A Stage Direction”:
A pupil, in his youth, of a man who had once studied (irregularly and briefly) with Charles-Marie Widor, he acquired thereby the artistic temperament, and with it a vast fondness for malt liquor.
That piece also has a description that remains a complaint today:
A large, gloomy hall, with many rows of uncushioned, uncomfortable seats, designed, it would seem, by some one misinformed as to the average width of the normal human pelvis.
And has one critic complaining that the pianist is “Too fast!” and another “Too slow!”
In “Seeing the World” his traveler voices a common refrain about the Germans that would have an entirely different meaning in half a century:
But you can say one thing for the German trains: they get in on time.
One of the strangest is “Asepsis. A Deduction in Scherzo Form”. A year ago and I would probably have classed this with the other pieces, as filled with cultural references I only partially understand. It’s probably about the eugenics of the progressive movement he skewers in some of his best essays (but which is not mentioned here). But now, it very strongly resembles our current response to COVID-19, with people reusing supposedly protective apparel that was never medically clean to begin with, spraying every surface, and ostracizing everyone who does not succumb to every aspect of the madness, it sounds pretty normal.
THE CLERGYMAN: John, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together in the holy state of eugenic matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, protect her from all protozoa and bacteria, and keep her in good health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee unto her only, so long as ye both shall live? If so, hold out your tongue.
(The Bridegroom holds out his tongue and The Clergyman inspects it critically.)
…
THE CLERGYMAN: (Turning to The Bride) Mary, wilt thou have this gentleman to be thy wedded husband, to live together in the holy state of aseptic matrimony? Wilt thou love him, serve him, protect him from all adulterated victuals, and keep him hygienically clothed; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live? If so—
THE BRIDE: (Instantly and loudly) I will.
THE CLERGYMAN: Not so fast! First, there is the little ceremony of the clinical thermometers. (He takes up one of the thermometers.) Open your mouth, my dear. (He Inserts the thermometer.) Now hold it there while you count one hundred and fifty. And you, too. (To The Bridegroom.) I had almost forgotten you. (The Bridegroom opens his mouth and the other thermometer is duly planted. While the two are counting, The Clergyman attempts to turn back one of The Bride’s eyelids, apparently searching for trachoma, but his rubber gloves impede the operation and so he gives it up. It is now time to read the thermometers. The Bridegroom’s is first removed.)
The clergyman then goes through a list of ailments and symptoms that presumably, if answered in the affirmative, would cancel the wedding. Fortunately, the bride and groom are symptom-free, and exchange “sterile rings”. They are married, and “THE CLERGYMAN… washes his hands with green soap. The Bridesmaids proceed to clean up the room with the remaining bichloride.”
Those whom God hath joined together, let no pathogenic organism put asunder.
History doesn’t always repeat, but it does its best to rhyme.
Toward the end, “Vers Libre” is a satirical dictionary; Mencken makes a lot of what would now be very stale jokes about marriage.
ALIMONY. The ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
It also contains his famous quote about democracy.
DEMOCRACY. The theory that two thieves will steal less than one, and three less than two, and four less than three, and so on ad infinitum; the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
March 26, 2022
I decided this was a lost cause soon after starting "From the Programme of a Concert," which is dense with musical in-jokes to the point of near-incomprehensibility, although it seems to be the closest Mencken equivalent to Robert Benchley's classic "Opera Synopses." The following piece, "The Wedding. A Stage Direction," is funny, thank God, so I kept going.
Mostly good after that, with about one loud laugh per chapter and several of them in "The Artist. A Drama Without Words," which presents the unspoken thoughts of a German concert pianist, several newspaper critics, and miscellaneous audience members at a concert somewhere in America. Sadly, toward the end the author knocks a star off the rating with a collection of epigrams and some of his awful 1910s prose poems describing typical Americans.
Mostly good after that, with about one loud laugh per chapter and several of them in "The Artist. A Drama Without Words," which presents the unspoken thoughts of a German concert pianist, several newspaper critics, and miscellaneous audience members at a concert somewhere in America. Sadly, toward the end the author knocks a star off the rating with a collection of epigrams and some of his awful 1910s prose poems describing typical Americans.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews