Random Families: Genetic Strangers, Sperm Donor Siblings, and the Creation of New Kin

by Rosanna Hertz, Margaret K. Nelson

The ready availability of donated sperm and eggs has made possible an entirely new form of family. Children of the same donor and their families, with the help of the internet, can now locate each other and make contact. Sometimes this network of families form meaningful connections that blossom into longstanding groups, and close friendships. This book is about unprecedented families that have grown up at the intersection of new reproductive technologies, social media and the human desire for belonging. Random Families Do shared genes make you a family? What do couples do when they discover that their children shares half their DNA with a dozen or more other offspring from the same sperm donor? What do kids find in common with their donor siblings? What becomes of these chance networks once parents and donor siblings find one another?Based on over 350 interviews with children (ages 10-28) and their parents from all over the U.S., Random Families chronicles the chain of choices that couples and single mothers make from what donor to use to how to participate (or not) in donor sibling networks. Children reveal their understanding of a donor, the donor's spot on the family tree and the meaning of their donor siblings. Through rich first-person accounts of network membership, the book illustrates how these extraordinary relationships -- woven from bits of online information and shared genetic ties -- are transformed into new possibilities for kinship. Random Families offers down-to-earth stories from real families to highlight just how truly distinctive these contemporary new forms of family are.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Queer, Science

308 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 7, 2018

Reviews

[sylas · Rating 2 out of 5]

A mostly inaccessible book-length research report about some folks’ experiences as families who used donor sperm to conceive children. While I appreciated some of the language the authors chose to use (ex: “genetic strangers” and never referring to the gametes-donator as a parent), this book was very adherent to the gender binary and also frankly boring.

[Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this really hard to put down for an academic, non-fiction study. It really covered the range of issues and feelings parents and children face. I definitely saw myself and my partner in this book, as well as families that made very different choices.
The networks profiled were fascinating. It’s so interesting when culture and technology change so quickly one can interview children and young adults of completely different eras.
This can be a very touchy subject, people can have strong opinions and get very emotional. I appreciated the thoughtful, thorough job the researchers did with the topic, and their careful use of language.

[jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Idk why it took me three months to finish the last chapter of this book. I actually read 95% of this in feb/March but anyway.

This is an academic, nonfiction study of how kinship can be constructed from genetic connections outside traditional family structures. The authors collected a diverse set of families, children, and perspectives in this book. It is interesting to see how relationships and perspectives have evolved over the decades, as single motherhood and queer families have gained more legitimacy, legal rights, and social visibility.

[Angela]

Interesting, but basically a book-length research paper. A lot of points are repeated so it starts to really drag

[Elisabeth Westner · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a DNF for me. I was hoping it'd be helpful for parents whose children were conceived via donor sperm/egg, but it's really more of a thesis-type read. The case studies are pretty much all quotes of people in those situations being like, "It was amazing to meet my bio dad who looked just like me" or "I was a little concerned with meeting the genetic siblings of my child because I didn't know what our relationship would be like."

I suppose there's not a whole lot of material out there about this subject since it's a fairly new phenomenon, but this book is pretty dull and repetitive and doesn't offer much helpful advice.

[Sanchita · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the book was enjoyable to read, it overlooks significant aspects of social life such as race, class and the resulting turmoil in families.

[Mills College Library]

306.85097 H576 2019