The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles

The Virgin Romance Novelist #1-3

by Meghan Quinn

From USA Today best selling Author Meghan Quinn, comes a hilarious romantic comedy that will touch your heart and cause you to roar with laughter as you escape into Rosie Bloom's attempt to write a romance novel.

"Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch...."

Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave?

Goodness, I have no idea what I'm doing. I’m a virgin attempting to write a romance novel and I'm having an impossible time trying to write a passionate and swoon-worthy love scene worthy of being published, thanks to my lack of experience.

My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen, step outside my comfort zone, and gain some real life experience through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups. But losing my "flower" is proving to be much tougher than expected....

This is the story of my awkward, humiliating, and slightly terrifying life, but like all romance novels, I know it will end in a happily ever after. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Warning: Listen in the confines of your own home due to random outbursts of laughter. If you are addicted to cliffhangers, getting your heart ripped out of your chest, and feeling like a bulldozer just plowed through your stomach, then this audiobook is not for you. if you like peeing your pants and crying from laughing so hard, then please continue listening.

Genres: Romance, Friends To Lovers, Rom Com, Contemporary, Contemporary Romance, Audiobook, Romantic Comedy

634 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 23, 2018

About the author

Like me on FB: https://www.facebook.com/meghanquinna...

When I was in high school I occasionally read books but was consumed by other teenage things so I didn't take the time to appreciate a good book on a cloudy day, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. It wasn't until I received a Kindle for Christmas one year that my world completely flipped upside down. When looking for books I came across the Contemporary Romance genre and was sold and I haven't turned back since.

You can either find my head buried in my Kindle, listening to inspiring heart ripping music or typing away on the computer twisting and turning the lives of my characters while driving my readers crazy with anticipation.

​I currently reside in beautiful Colorado Springs where the sun is always shining and there is a trail waiting to be hiked on every corner. I share a lovely and warm home with the love of my life and my five, four-legged children.

Reviews

[Patty ~ Wrapped Up In Reading Book Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

*****FIVE STARS*****

I LOVED THIS BOOK HARD!!
OMG!
I laughed out loud so much throughout this book, my stomach hurts!
So happy I got the chance to read this one!!
I am completely and madly in love with Henry!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

[Sam I AMNreader]

This book is just goddamned awful. It might be the book that has shoved me over that edge with this author that I have been tiptoeing along with every book of hers.

I didn't stop at the transphobia, for some dumb fuck reason, because I really love a sex-tutor-type plot.

But this woman's roommates were awful, all her sexual encounters ended in bathos. Her roommates though, omg, her roommates.

For example the woman she rooms with aside from no boundaries-sees her naked bottom down and makes her an appt for a Brazilian. I have to tell you, that's a pretty invasive friend, no matter age or opinion on pubic hair. And the pubic hair jokes don't stop.

Her other roommate, best friend Henry, is constantly offering to whip out his dick. Now, in the end I assume he's the love interest, but my f*cking god. He's SLIME.

I was not even 10% through before I started skimming, and by the time Henry is telling Rosie she's dressed too suggestively for a date to make pizzas I think she's being emotionally abused by both assholes she lives with and needs to move on. I certainly am.

[Alaina · Rating 2 out of 5]

wanted to DNF this bitch so many times.

The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles was definitely one of those books that I read for a certain challenge. It also didn't hurt that it was a kindle unlimited book. However, this book was just not for me. Not my cup of tea and never will be. I thought it was going to be a cute book with some nice ass romance scenes.. but no I ended up wanting to pull out all of my hair and repeatedly wished to be blind so I never had to read this book ever again. Or see it.

Now that might sound harsh to .. well, really anyone. It is but I'm being completely honest. I didn't connect with any of the characters and just wanted the book to be over. Numerous times I wanted to punch a certain character. I may or may not have wished for them to have an accident.

This book was beyond weird and gave me super annoying characters. It was so freaking disappointing to read because it's been a while since I've read one of Meghan's books and now I'm like.. wtf do I do now? No clue on when I'll dive into another one of her books but I'm hoping that the next one will be a crap ton better than this one.

[Wendy'sThoughts · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Only Meghan Quinn Could Do Stars
* * * * Spoiler Free-
Meghan Quinn has a calling... Yes, she really has found a way to tell stories that are unique to her. I think that is what every author wants. What is special about Quinn is the different facets of her voice. She has this quirky side which she has used to talk about all sorts of subjects that before now hadn't been spoken of.

It is with this humor, blunt and over the top at points, which takes the reader through all of the missteps our Rosie Bloom experiences as she tries to find her own Happily Ever After. Quinn gave us The Virgin Romance Novelist in 2015 and The Randy Romance Novelist in 2016. Now she has put them together with an update of where this special couple is now in 2018.

This chronicles takes Rosie Bloom through everything others in Real Life have experienced... but never talk about... the ugly, weird world of online dating where the people come across one way... with profiles that seem perfectly fine... and then the reality of all the cray cray once they are in person. She has Rosie meet men who are reminiscent of all those fictional characters she has read and somehow in real life, things turn out oh so different.

There is the continual focus of how Rosie has had a shelter pre-college life which created this wonder of a woman... She is sweet, naive, curious, and finally realizing in order to write a realistic romance novel, she needs to experience sex. She does have her best friends willing to support and help her.

And one of them is Henry.

Henry has always been there for her. He has held her during her low times and rejoiced when she was happy. He calls her lover and the idea of not having him as her best buddy is so frightening, she refuses to consider any other type of relationship with him.

Quinn creates over the top situations, best friends and crazy times for these characters. This grouping of books gives it all to you with a bright shiny love bow. From the first hint of something between Henry and Rosie to the next step to the very end of this tale, a smile will be plastered to your face.

~~~~~ Before Reading ~~~~~
They say write what you know...
And that shouldn't be a problem with a young writer, Rosie Bloom...

She has a passion to focus on a first Romance novel...
The desire to get it right...
After all how hard can it be...

You just take two characters...
Have them lusting after each other...
Describe all the hot and sexy times and Voilà...
Done and Done...

Well Not Exactly...
Because you know how I mentioned writing what you know...
That is the HUGE problem for Rosie...

She has No Experience when it comes to the Romance Department...
Zero, None, Nada...

This is the journey Rosie takes...
With the Immense Assistance of Meghan Quinn and her Creative Mind...
We go willingly and dive into...

The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles- November 15th 2018

For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways

[Nancy❤The❤Bookaholic · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, clutzy and quirky

This book had me laughing out loud. Let me break down my likes and dislikes.

I liked the friends to lover.
I liked how close the friends were. They shared their sexual encounters. Well, let's say Rosie shared her sexual encounter misfortunes while in the process of "educating" herself to be a better romance author. I have no idea how one person puts themself in such compromising situations that end BAD!

One thing I disliked was Rosie's naivety of ANY thing sexual. It was like she lived under a rock and didn't have any knowledge of anything that deals with sex. I understand she's a virgin but it was really hard to believe she didn't know a single thing when it came to that subject.

I didn't like how Rosie was up for doing sexual acts to guys that she literally just met 10 minutes before. I felt like it was a contradiction to her character.

Overall I did really enjoy reading this chronicle and it was well worth the read and .99 I paid.

[Dawn · Rating 2 out of 5]

A little boring

This book just didn’t do it for me. The characters had known each other for years, and are roommates. Guy is a man whore and randomly screw women at the apartment almost every day. Girl has had a slight crush on guy but is mostly happy just being friends. One day guy realizes that the girl is a virgin (although, really he must have known, it makes no sense that he wouldn’t being that she was super naive, NEVER dated, and they were also best friends). She decides that wants to date and have sex, then suddenly he starts realizing that he has feelings for her. He even going as far as to sabotage her dates. It crosses the line into selfish a-hole territory when he gets mad at her for not wanting to ruin their friendship and take a chance on him, after he’s had years sleeping around. It’s a selfish hissy fit. When he starts saying stuff like this
“Think about it, love. My experience can help your inexperience. I can teach you everything you need to know.” Softly, he looked up at me and said, “We would be perfect together.” I just wanted to punch him...
Im not a huge feminist or anything, but it was nauseatingly patriarchal. It reeks of “guy getting it out of his system before settling down with an nice girl” crap. He didn’t “not know” that he had feelings for her, he just really likes having his cake and eating it too. He had the best of both worlds, screw big boob bimbos whenever he liked and have the virginal princess read and waiting (in the same house) to hang out with him. Add to the fact that the delivery of the whole story was only so so, and I’m amazed this has any 5 star reviews.

[Ari · Rating 3 out of 5]

*2.5 Stars!*

[Mitch Please · Rating 1 out of 5]

A funny and interesting idea, and the writing was awesome, but I really disliked all the characters. the heroine felt especially weak.

[One chapter more · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

It was really good! Honestly I thought after reading other reviews that I’m not going to enjoy it and in the beginning I had similar issues other readers had, but once I passed those, I laughed so hard I’d say my neighbour thought I was being murdered by tickling. That scene with Phillip will forever be iconic and the funniest thing I’ve read in 2021.

So if you’re up for a good laugh and don’t mind a mountain of pubic hair talk, this book is definitely yours to pick up.

Btw. I did not picture the characters as 23 year olds. Ok, not Henry at least and let’s just stick to that.

[mandy ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm going back and forth on whether this is a 3.5 or a full 4 star for me. Overall, I really did enjoy this book immensely. It was a solid romantic comedy. If you're a rom-com movie lover, this will basically read just like one. The main ship was lovely - Rosie and Henry have amazing chemistry. They start off as best friends who are completely oblivious to the fact that the other person has feelings for them. Rosie is out there in the dating scene trying to get some 'experience' romantically and sexually in order to help her write her first romance novel. The dates all go horribly wrong in some way - pretty comedic ways of course since this is a rom-com after all - and Henry most of the time in the end is mostly the one who ends up helping Rosie with her goal. I loved seeing how Rosie and Henry got closer romantically - it was sweet. And once they got together, seeing them as a couple in the next two parts of this book was great. The reason why I keep going back and forth in my ratings is because the conflicts that they went through really annoyed me. It was one of those miscommunication situations which always bugs me. Because it can so simply be solved by both parties just talking to one another and being honest. I mean, eventually it does happen once everything goes badly, but still the situation could be avoided.

Would I still recommend this book? Totally. It was fun, humorous, sweet, and romantic. Meghan Quinn is good at what she does - writing feel good romances. This is only my second book by her, but she's still winning me over with her stories. So, check this one out if it sounds good to you :)

[Jamie (The Kansan Reader)]

DNFing at 58%

So I had the first book on my TBR for a while. Then I noticed that Meghan put all the books together in one giant book and I just had to snatch it up.

Fair warning there will be spoiler since I am reviewing all three books in one.

The Virgin Romance Novelist
Rating: 3 stars

Rosie is working at Friendly Feline. She hates it there. Dealing with a cat who seems to have it out for her, and having to write articles on the weirdest cat topics she is wanting something more. She decides to write a romance novel. Problem is she's 23 years old and still a virgin.

While this made me laugh at several spots, it was beyond ridiculous. All the stuff that happens to her just seem way over the top and non realistic for one person to experience in the short amount of time she did.

If I have to read him call her love one more time my head might explode.

And have any of you heard of a girl farting on a guy's face in a book? No well she does in this one. Not attractive. Actually I never heard of this in real life either, not saying that it happens but I still don't think it's something I every want to hear of again.

The Randy Romance Novelist
Rating: DNF 4 chapter

While I finished the first book I couldn't get into the second book. I didn't like either of the MCs. Being in their heads was frustrating for me. While I still love me some Meghan Quinn I couldn't do the rest of series.

P.S. There are still many grammar and misspelling mistakes throughout the book that I read. Editor needs to go back and re look at that.

[Leah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this is exactly the type of friends to lovers I hate. The male dates around and is a huge rooster always crowing about his conquests. The h exists and doesn't date and is basically a blank slate who knows nothing about dating or sex or her body or her wants or desires.

The h wants to start dating and suddenly H loses his mind because he realizes he loves h and how dare she want anyone but him. He teaches her everything she needs to know about herself. But then he freaks out for reasons. Because his reasons are clearly her fault he treats her like dirt until she apologizes for making him feel things. He forgives her, shows some token of affection and they live HEA.

“I know I was an ass, and I know I haven’t been the easiest person to be around lately, but I blame you.” He smiled. “You turned my life upside down the minute you decided you wanted to date. I couldn’t take the thought of you with anyone else, because I knew deep down in my soul you belonged with me."

In a very meta moment the book reviews itself for me:

A twenty-something-year-old virgin who went through college with two sexually active roommates is referring to her vagina as a lady garden? It’s not realistic. No one talks like that in their twenties. I’m afraid readers are going to be upset over Meghan naming her vagina, as well as the main character not even knowing about things like masturbation or the basic act of sex. It’s almost too comical, but in a bad way.

[Marie Vasquez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a reread for me of the first two books. The character Rosie was just as funny as the first time I met her. She is the quirkiest character I have come across and had me laughing with all her antics and dating bad luck. So funny.

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

yes i did laugh out loud!

[Ezi Chinny · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 stars.
After much reflection, this story wasn't very funny. It was pretty improbable and I was disappointed. The idea was interesting but the actual execution was lacking. It's one thing to be a virgin, it is another thing to be this clueless about anything sexual.

[Angela · Rating 1 out of 5]

I usually enjoy Meghan Quinn’s books but I’m not a fan of this one. I didn’t care for the lack of awareness and care between the FMC and her friends and the ongoing miscommunication between the main characters took away from the plot.

[Erin Remen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insane, pee your pants funny!

This was insane and most definitely a five star must read! I cannot believe half the stuff that happens to poor Rosie Bloom in her pursuit of loosing her virginity. She was fascinating to read and I am in complete awe of her and how she pushed through it all. Her friends are her complete opposite and yet they complete her in a way. They push her and take her way outside her comfort zone. Helping her in her pursuit and watching her grow in front of their eyes. Henry, swoon, that is all I have to say. Except, maybe, delicious, sexy, funny, comforting like a blanket and so supportive he is most definitely fictitious and I am totally adore him. I have never laughed so hard in my life. I think my children think I am more insane than usual. Meghan Quinn is incredibly talented and the stuff that comes out of her brain is definitely one of a kind. I'm an awe of her and I cannot wait to read what she has in store for us next. Thank you for being you 💕

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm too lazy to properly review this (for now) but it was so funny and ridiculous and I enjoyed every minute of it. Meghan Quinn is a rom-com genius.

[Elizabeth Bell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think I laughed ONCE. The attempted humor is all slapstick and over-the-top ridiculous. Our heroine inhabits a parallel universe in which the worst possible thing that could happen always does--punctuated by the best possible thing. The very first novel she writes sells 5,000 copies without her even trying. Eyeroll. In this universe, Facebook romance author groups consist chiefly of dick pics. Definitely not our universe. As other reviewers have said, no 23-year-old 21st-century virgin--who's lived with very sexually active roommates for years--is THIS naive. She's never even heard of Tinder. I also did not appreciate the cat hate.

[Amanda]

This book combines two novels (and what I'd assume based on TOC to be a short story). I finished the first and gave it 2*. Not a big fan and it was poorly edited, unbelievable, and shallow. I only made it about three chapters into the second one, and it was a struggle to get that far. Not a fan.

[Lori Tremain · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars
This book was laugh out loud hilarious. Some parts may have been over the top and eventually ridiculous due to this author adding too much. There is an evil cat that is given to much time to be normal.
The book goes past the normal fight and then love to their life beyond which i found very nice. Most books just end at the happy ever after.
The story is of a Virgin, Rosie, who finally gets fed up and makes a plan to lose her virginity. She lives with Delaney and Henry. They all met in college. Rosie wants to be a romance author but has no clue how to describe a scene as she is a virgin. Hence another reason to seek out love and passion. Henry goes from friend to acting like he wants more.

Note, book is 600 plus pages long.

[K D · Rating 4 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars overall
The first book in the set was a little rough in the editing and contained everything that you ever feared might go wrong in a first sexual experience.
The second book still had a few editorial mishaps, and everything you ever feared might go wrong in a new relationship, including staleness, attempts at spiciness, pregnancy, as well as all the ridiculous horrors of same pregnancy.
If you can't laugh at the utter ridiculousness of life and body, then don't read these books.

[Michele Craig-marra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funniest book ever.

This story brought me so much joy. I seriously laughed out loud so many times that my kids kept asking to read it! Umm NOT for kids. Absolutely recommend this one.

[Mari Hinton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good

I don't think I have laughed so much reading a book in a long time. I had to tell all my book friends about it. Such a funny book!!

[Tahrahrahboomdeeay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing

Laughed so hard!!!! Relatable characters even if Rosie gets a little batsh*t crazy and is a total klutz. Totally recommend this book!

[Bayyss · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sooo funny!! I can’t believe some of the things this girl did yet so relatable

[Kathy Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

If your want a good laugh, read this one! It is like the Three Stooges meet Christian Grey!!

[Brandi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review is for Part II: The Randy Romance Novelist & Part III: The Parenting Romance Novelist. (I've read Part I: The Virgin Romance Novelist- review listed under that book- but not this updated version yet, so I'm not sure if anything is different.)

*****SPOILERS SPRINKLED THROUGHOUT*****

Part II: The Randy Romance Novelist

I liked this one but not as much as The Virgin Romance Novelist. There were many laugh-out-loud moments, sexy times & fun banter but... it was a bit too much for me at times.

I actually grew tired of the Sir Licks-a-Lot hi-jinx (it was just TOO weird sometimes) & every amplified-to-the-max pregnancy symptom Rosie experienced. (Because she was hornier than a MC Biker President, if you get my drift.) Yes, every pregnancy is different but still... And don't get me started on Tasha being brought back into the storyline. I was incredibly upset that Rosie had to go through that sh*t again. Thank gods Henry was so upfront about his feelings for Rosie with Tasha & deflected every advance she made on him. #JustSayNoToOtherWomanDrama

The Freddy, Derk & Delaney conversations were loads of fun though. And the Ben Wa balls scene... I just about peed my pants when that happened!


Part III: The Parenting Romance Novelist

Cute to see Rosie, Henry & little one together as a family. I can easily see more with these characters in the future! :)

[Dani · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up with my Kindle Unlimited subscription. I saw that the Heaving Bosoms podcast had reviewed it and I wanted to read it before I listened to that episode. Although I did laugh a few times, the first book dragged on so long for me that by the time I realized there was a second book in this volume, I was just relieved that the first book was over. I didn't even read enough of the second book (The Randy Romance Novelist) to find out what it was about.

As for the first book, it felt a little uneven. Sometimes our heroine Rosie sounded like a wisecracking 20-something, but then she was so innocent it was unbelievable. Talking to her friends and doing a few Google searches would have cleared up some of the silliness. Also, I had trouble with her parents. Why did they shelter her all through her school years, but then seem to have no problem with her living with a man (a man they clearly want her to couple with) without the benefit of marriage?

The book made me smile enough times that I would be willing to try another one by Meghan Quinn, but this one didn't really do it for me.

[Tanya Rae ~ TaSTy WordGasms · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have never read Meghan Quinn before go and buy all of her books. Her books are a MUST READ! I don’t think I have read a book of hers that I haven’t LOVED! Meghan writes with so much humor! Her books are so entertaining. This book is laugh out loud funny and I laughed until I cried in parts of this book. I caught myself chuckling while reading this book out in public. I couldn’t help myself this book is that GOOD!

I have so many areas highlighted in The Virgin Romance Novelist. Most of which I can’t say out in public. I thought I liked Cats but, after Sir Licks-a-Lot I am not sure. The names that Rosie has come up with for her vajayjay! And, the things that happened to her while dating. They were embarrassingly hysterically funny!

If I could give this book more than 5 STARS I would. The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles may be a favorite book of mine.