The Story of Boxes, the Good, the Bad and the Ugly: The Secret to Human Liberation, Peace and Happiness

by Runa Magnusdottir, Nicholas Haines

Have you ever heard someone say “Men are like this” or “Women are like that” Or the latest “Millennials think this way” That’s putting people into Boxes, and it immediately limits them to their Box. What if you’re a woman, and collaboration isn't your style? Or a man and all you want to do is care and collaborate? Or you’re a Millennial and you don’t live on your phone? And the list goes on and on… Putting people into boxes limit us all in terms of who we are and what we can become. The Story of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly shines a light on our mental habit of thinking in “boxes” – the authors’ lucid metaphor for the generalisations, classifications, and stereotypes that shape our thoughts and, ultimately, our lives. We are living in turbulent times. Conflict and social unrest seem to be everywhere, and rapid technological changes are only adding to the cultural upheavals. Uncertainty – about the future, about ourselves – looms large in the collective consciousness of humanity. But is there a realistic path towards liberation, peace, and happiness for us all? Yes, there is – according to the authors of The Story of Boxes. The issue is that we all have a tendency to think in boxes – mentally placing people, ideas, and even objects (like underpants!) into rigid categories. Some of these categories – or “boxes” – are good. They are a source of joy and comfort. Others are bad – responsible for creating immense pain, isolation, and division in the world. And others? They’re just plain ugly! Once you become aware of the boxes that rule your personal life, the authors say, you can break out of box-based thinking and live a life that’s freer and happier. You are no longer caged in by the walls of mental boxes. By investigating our unconscious and conscious boxes – and sharing inspirational stories and easy-to-grasp examples – this always cogent, sometimes funny book gives you a new way of thinking about reality. The book explores some of humanity’s most salient and enduring boxes, including gender, race, sexuality, religion, and class – and gives you a key to unlock the boxes in your own mind. The Story Of Boxes, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly - The Secret to Human Liberation, Peace and Happiness by Rúna Magnúsdóttir and Nicholas Haines is a new way of looking at the world, explains what limits us as human beings, and sets us on a path to be and love who we truly are.

132 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 11, 2018

Reviews

[Hyacinth J Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an insightful read. Love the concept and fits in with how society currently is.

[Tucker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here's the gist. We stereotype for a reason: it's a mental shortcut. Unfortunately, stereotypes can be limiting and damaging to our potential. A metaphor for stereotypes is "boxes." Many boxes can be surpassed by bringing the problem to conscious awareness, spotting the assumption, getting to know how the box works, and then deciding what we're going to do about it.

All of this is obvious and unobjectionable.

My complaint is about a missed opportunity. The authors, identifying themselves as "two white people," recuse themselves from speaking about "the Race Box" and instead focus heavily on "the Gender Box." That seems fair; authors focus on their area of expertise and comfort, and it's nice when they are explicit about their plans. But this made me aware of a related difficulty. They discuss the need to become aware of how we stereotype others so that we can cease doing it, as well as the need to become aware of the stereotypes of ourselves that we've internalized so that we're no longer bound by them. An unexplored area is: What about the internalized stereotypes of which we have trouble letting go because other people won't stop using them against us? Where does the responsibility lie? How much dialogue do we need with the people who are holding us back? In Chapter 1, the authors change their minds and say, "We're going to open up the Race Box," but this turns out to be five brief sentences denouncing “the transatlantic slave trade in the 16th to 19th centuries.” It feels like there's an object lesson here about what don't we know and why don't we know it? Yes, in general, authors should focus on what they already know, and yet the whole point of this book is the need to unbox areas where we need to learn more. Sometimes we draw a box around something, slam the lid shut, and kick it down the curb. That's one way stereotypes get formed; it doesn't always happen because of our claim to know what characterizes a group, but rather sometimes because of a claim that we don't know anything about them. When we draw a Box of the Unknown around "those people," we've already started to categorize them and label them as resisting comprehensibility; what bonds them into the same group (in our eyes) is just our ignorance about them, which is a bad start. Now they are called People of Race. Which of course is not what they really are. That's the Box of Ignorance talking. Pointing out that white people are so oblivious to race that it's probably better if they shut up about it is simultaneously exactly true and also a giant opportunity to do better. I don't have a way to begin to approach that contradiction except to note that if we are too bubbly about it then we can't hold space for the serious conversation.

Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, except that this is a book about how to prompt dialogue about diversity (there's even a hashtag), so.

[Rick Yvanovich · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you've ever wanted to think outside the box and /or get out of the box then it's best you knew why we had the boxes in the first place and this book does just that.

The way we box things up, its really no surprise we want to get out of them .. though clearly not all of them.

Worth a quick read.