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The Christian Man: A Conversation About the 10 Issues Men Say Matter Most
You're going to love the relevant stories and incredibly practical answers to the 10 issues men say matter
No one understands what you're going through more than men's expert Patrick Morley, author of the landmark bestseller The Man in the Mirror, with over 4 million copies . And now, Morley has carefully researched and written The Christian Man especially for men like you. By the end of this must-read book, you will know how to intentionally release the power of God on the issues that matter most to you.You'll be able to walk with confidence in the one identity that matters The Christian Man .
No one understands what you're going through more than men's expert Patrick Morley, author of the landmark bestseller The Man in the Mirror, with over 4 million copies . And now, Morley has carefully researched and written The Christian Man especially for men like you. By the end of this must-read book, you will know how to intentionally release the power of God on the issues that matter most to you.You'll be able to walk with confidence in the one identity that matters The Christian Man .
256 pages, Hardcover
Published May 21, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
March 14, 2023
Fantastic book! A real inspirational encouragement to pursue a life of holiness and righteousness as a Christian man. To grow in discipleship and to disciple others. Something I’ll definitely read again in the future!
October 4, 2024
TAKE A PERSONAL DAY EACH YEAR TO GET STRAIGHT ON YOUR PRIORITIES
Small groups are imperative for ongoing growth
Small groups are imperative for ongoing growth
August 6, 2020
Pat Morley got 24 men together and questioned them about issues they said matter most. He used this as the basis for this book, The Christian Man. Pat seems to be a nice guy who desires men to turn to Christ. His tone throughout is conversational and friendly, like a guy that comes alongside you and wants to show you a better way because he’s in the trenches with you.
Unfortunately, The Christian Man reads like a book put together by committee, too formulaic at points where it need not be formulaic, too vague were more clarity is needed, and outright dangerous at points.
I’m a pastor of a church in the Midwest, around the age that this book is meant to speak to. I see the type of men this book is meant for week in and week out.
While there are a few parts of this book that are well written and biblical, I can’t recommend it as a whole. The bad parts are bad, and they overshadow any good left in the book. There are better, clearer, and more biblically based resources to point people towards.
First, some good things.
Pg. 50 – on dealing with life balance – “you have all the time you need to do everything God wants you to do.” Agree 100%!
Pg. 57 – “We don’t use our personal experiences to interpret our Bibles; we use our Bibles to interpret our personal experiences.” Here here, Pat! Amen!
Ch. 4 on marriage is mainly helpful, especially the idea that you (and your spouse) aren’t going to meet each other’s expectations all the time, and the call of a husband to sacrificially love his wife.
The Theology of Work section (pgs. 192-204) is well done. I’d recommend that this section be turned into a little booklet.
Second, the unwise/unhelpful/bad things.
1) Paying your kids to do devotions. In the chapter on children Pat says he paid his kids to do devotions growing up. While this is certainly a personal preference issue, I can’t make sense of why anyone would do this. Seems like you’re setting up your kids to be rewarded materially for a spiritual activity. Though not unbiblical, seems unwise.
2) Using the story of Lazarus and people removing his bandages and saying that men needs friends that help change our “grave clothes.” Linking the story of Lazarus to friendships is a stretch biblically, and I just found the analogy forced.
3) The rest of the chapter on work and finding a satisfying job was not as helpful as the Theology of Work section. While I affirm that God generally wants men to find enjoyment in their work, God may not want you to have a satisfying job for a season of life.
4) Here’s the reason why I would NEVER recommend this book to anyone – the chapter on Lust. Does Pat say some true things about how to deal with lust? Absolutely. But he also says some AWFUL things.
When talking about lust, masturbation is an uncomfortable but necessary subject to talk about, and Pat addresses it. In a section on masturbation (Pg. 229) he writes - “You can masturbate and not sin.”
Really? How does that work? How could a person sin sexually and gratify themselves without lusting? I understand that in theory it could be done, but is it ever done without lusting?
Pat - What you wrote is careless and irresponsible, and it gives Christian men a loophole for sexual sin. Please think about this: the bar you’re setting for Christian men includes masturbation. Is that really where you think Christ wants the bar set?
If this weren’t distressing enough, he follows on the same page with: “Men are going to masturbate for pleasure. That’s all there is to it.” I had to walk away from this book after reading these two sentences.
Pat - If your conviction for what God wants for Christian men includes lusting and masturbation as a part of the Christian life, then I would ask you to rethink your entire ministry.
I would not recommend this book to anyone because of this section on lust.
I don’t understand how anyone reviewing could read this section and still think this was a good book to recommend to others.
Pat – if you read this – please get this book out of circulation and edit the chapter on Lust. What you’ve put out is spiritually dangerous for men.
Unfortunately, The Christian Man reads like a book put together by committee, too formulaic at points where it need not be formulaic, too vague were more clarity is needed, and outright dangerous at points.
I’m a pastor of a church in the Midwest, around the age that this book is meant to speak to. I see the type of men this book is meant for week in and week out.
While there are a few parts of this book that are well written and biblical, I can’t recommend it as a whole. The bad parts are bad, and they overshadow any good left in the book. There are better, clearer, and more biblically based resources to point people towards.
First, some good things.
Pg. 50 – on dealing with life balance – “you have all the time you need to do everything God wants you to do.” Agree 100%!
Pg. 57 – “We don’t use our personal experiences to interpret our Bibles; we use our Bibles to interpret our personal experiences.” Here here, Pat! Amen!
Ch. 4 on marriage is mainly helpful, especially the idea that you (and your spouse) aren’t going to meet each other’s expectations all the time, and the call of a husband to sacrificially love his wife.
The Theology of Work section (pgs. 192-204) is well done. I’d recommend that this section be turned into a little booklet.
Second, the unwise/unhelpful/bad things.
1) Paying your kids to do devotions. In the chapter on children Pat says he paid his kids to do devotions growing up. While this is certainly a personal preference issue, I can’t make sense of why anyone would do this. Seems like you’re setting up your kids to be rewarded materially for a spiritual activity. Though not unbiblical, seems unwise.
2) Using the story of Lazarus and people removing his bandages and saying that men needs friends that help change our “grave clothes.” Linking the story of Lazarus to friendships is a stretch biblically, and I just found the analogy forced.
3) The rest of the chapter on work and finding a satisfying job was not as helpful as the Theology of Work section. While I affirm that God generally wants men to find enjoyment in their work, God may not want you to have a satisfying job for a season of life.
4) Here’s the reason why I would NEVER recommend this book to anyone – the chapter on Lust. Does Pat say some true things about how to deal with lust? Absolutely. But he also says some AWFUL things.
When talking about lust, masturbation is an uncomfortable but necessary subject to talk about, and Pat addresses it. In a section on masturbation (Pg. 229) he writes - “You can masturbate and not sin.”
Really? How does that work? How could a person sin sexually and gratify themselves without lusting? I understand that in theory it could be done, but is it ever done without lusting?
Pat - What you wrote is careless and irresponsible, and it gives Christian men a loophole for sexual sin. Please think about this: the bar you’re setting for Christian men includes masturbation. Is that really where you think Christ wants the bar set?
If this weren’t distressing enough, he follows on the same page with: “Men are going to masturbate for pleasure. That’s all there is to it.” I had to walk away from this book after reading these two sentences.
Pat - If your conviction for what God wants for Christian men includes lusting and masturbation as a part of the Christian life, then I would ask you to rethink your entire ministry.
I would not recommend this book to anyone because of this section on lust.
I don’t understand how anyone reviewing could read this section and still think this was a good book to recommend to others.
Pat – if you read this – please get this book out of circulation and edit the chapter on Lust. What you’ve put out is spiritually dangerous for men.
November 30, 2023
This is a hard book to rate. There were some things that were spot on and really resonated with me. Other chapters felt like they missed it. His opinion - which thankfully he clarifies - on lust is just a miss. That chapter alone makes me question recommending this book, even though most of the rest was quality!
October 13, 2024
Patrick Morley is most famous for his book Man in the Mirror and writes mostly for Christian men and men in general. I was interested to read this book because I found out about it from one of the men’s groups studying through these issues in my church.
He begins the book with a prelude about a zoo-raised lion and a wild line. He says some Christian men feel like the wild line in a cage. They need resources to fulfill their God-given masculinity and do what Jesus expects of them. He presents what will and will not discussed in this book.
The first issue he raises is identity: settling who I am and what my life is about. He shares three things every man needs. I think he is right about these three essentials for men. He postulates that when you understand your identity in Christ everything else falls into place. He describes what the Bible says about our identity and how it changes in Christ. There’s a big difference between how we see our identity and how these us. This is a most helpful and foundational chapter for the whole book.
Several chapters are devoted to working out how identity affects our life. The second issue men face is life beginning with life balance: how to be faithful with everything entrusted to me. Our lives get out of whack and overrun with so many things. Related to identity are our priorities (and five biblical priorities for every man), the following chapters further outline different priorities he has mentioned in this chapter.
Next, he discusses the third issue may need help with, which is growth: becoming a Kingdom-minded man. He focuses on spiritual growth. He describes the different things men need in their lives regularly to grow in Christ. Some of these include spiritual disciplines, the Bible, a quiet time, prayer, small groups, serving others,
The fourth issue discussed in Morley’s book is marriage. He gives wisdom on how to handle your marriage. This chapter did not appeal to me as much only because I am single. The fifth issue men need help with is children. While I am the child of my parents, I found this chapter very interesting. I don’t have children, but as a pastor I disciple spiritual children. He addresses the father-son relationship. He shares tips and guidelines to help you become a better parent.
The sixth issue men deal with is friendship. It’s hard to find and keep godly friends. He talks about the importance of having godly friends, that God designed us to need friends and to be friends. Friends make us better. He tells you how to develop your friendships. Another issue important to men is the topic of work. We should think our work is important
My favorite parts of the book are the call to action and the reflection questions at the end of the chapter. These were challenging, left me wanting to do more about my spiritual, and help others grow. Each chapter ends with a prayer you can pray, or start your prayers. We should think our work is important thing that we contribute to society. But what else does the Bible teach us about our work? The author goes through how we should think about our work.
The eighth issue the author deals with had on is the lust. This may be the most difficult temptation for men. Morley addresses this pivotal topic and what men can do about it. We must know what it really is before we can conquer it. Marriage cannot be the only answer for every man. It is one biblical way to handle lust. His clarifications on lust are very helpful “handlebars” for men. He addresses issues such as masturbation, the second book, and the strategy of fleeing. He offers solutions that will help you get free of it. This was the most helpful chapter of the whole book.
The ninth issue for men Morley presents and deals with is a man’s role in culture. We are bombarded with issues that require more than logic and intellect to deal with. Men need to know how they can address these issues in the Christian and hopeful way. God leaves us in the world so we can be lights to it. He addresses racial injustice as an example of an approach that Christian men can take with any cultural issue. He gives Daniel, Joseph, and Mordechai as examples of someone who had to represent God in culture. When Christian men get involved in culture, Jesus can propel in the darkness.
The final issue that men need guidance with in this world is sharing your faith: how to have authentic spiritual conversations with your friends. He says that evangelism is a ministry of reconciliation. He discusses relative truth and what really moves the needle. Our message doesn’t change but our methods need to so we can address our culture. He gives pointers on how to start spiritual conversations. He also gives a process to share your faith with others.
He concludes the book with an afterword with each chapter’s call to action. He challenges every man to read the book and share it with a group of men or even just with a partner. I think Morley does a great job of covering these ten issues men face. I personally found most of the chapters very helpful.
I recommend this book for every Christian man to ask questions about these areas of life. Morley has made a ministry and lifetime out of helping men with these issues and many more. You cannot go wrong by reading this book and getting clarification and actionable help on how to address these issues in your life.
He begins the book with a prelude about a zoo-raised lion and a wild line. He says some Christian men feel like the wild line in a cage. They need resources to fulfill their God-given masculinity and do what Jesus expects of them. He presents what will and will not discussed in this book.
The first issue he raises is identity: settling who I am and what my life is about. He shares three things every man needs. I think he is right about these three essentials for men. He postulates that when you understand your identity in Christ everything else falls into place. He describes what the Bible says about our identity and how it changes in Christ. There’s a big difference between how we see our identity and how these us. This is a most helpful and foundational chapter for the whole book.
Several chapters are devoted to working out how identity affects our life. The second issue men face is life beginning with life balance: how to be faithful with everything entrusted to me. Our lives get out of whack and overrun with so many things. Related to identity are our priorities (and five biblical priorities for every man), the following chapters further outline different priorities he has mentioned in this chapter.
Next, he discusses the third issue may need help with, which is growth: becoming a Kingdom-minded man. He focuses on spiritual growth. He describes the different things men need in their lives regularly to grow in Christ. Some of these include spiritual disciplines, the Bible, a quiet time, prayer, small groups, serving others,
The fourth issue discussed in Morley’s book is marriage. He gives wisdom on how to handle your marriage. This chapter did not appeal to me as much only because I am single. The fifth issue men need help with is children. While I am the child of my parents, I found this chapter very interesting. I don’t have children, but as a pastor I disciple spiritual children. He addresses the father-son relationship. He shares tips and guidelines to help you become a better parent.
The sixth issue men deal with is friendship. It’s hard to find and keep godly friends. He talks about the importance of having godly friends, that God designed us to need friends and to be friends. Friends make us better. He tells you how to develop your friendships. Another issue important to men is the topic of work. We should think our work is important
My favorite parts of the book are the call to action and the reflection questions at the end of the chapter. These were challenging, left me wanting to do more about my spiritual, and help others grow. Each chapter ends with a prayer you can pray, or start your prayers. We should think our work is important thing that we contribute to society. But what else does the Bible teach us about our work? The author goes through how we should think about our work.
The eighth issue the author deals with had on is the lust. This may be the most difficult temptation for men. Morley addresses this pivotal topic and what men can do about it. We must know what it really is before we can conquer it. Marriage cannot be the only answer for every man. It is one biblical way to handle lust. His clarifications on lust are very helpful “handlebars” for men. He addresses issues such as masturbation, the second book, and the strategy of fleeing. He offers solutions that will help you get free of it. This was the most helpful chapter of the whole book.
The ninth issue for men Morley presents and deals with is a man’s role in culture. We are bombarded with issues that require more than logic and intellect to deal with. Men need to know how they can address these issues in the Christian and hopeful way. God leaves us in the world so we can be lights to it. He addresses racial injustice as an example of an approach that Christian men can take with any cultural issue. He gives Daniel, Joseph, and Mordechai as examples of someone who had to represent God in culture. When Christian men get involved in culture, Jesus can propel in the darkness.
The final issue that men need guidance with in this world is sharing your faith: how to have authentic spiritual conversations with your friends. He says that evangelism is a ministry of reconciliation. He discusses relative truth and what really moves the needle. Our message doesn’t change but our methods need to so we can address our culture. He gives pointers on how to start spiritual conversations. He also gives a process to share your faith with others.
He concludes the book with an afterword with each chapter’s call to action. He challenges every man to read the book and share it with a group of men or even just with a partner. I think Morley does a great job of covering these ten issues men face. I personally found most of the chapters very helpful.
I recommend this book for every Christian man to ask questions about these areas of life. Morley has made a ministry and lifetime out of helping men with these issues and many more. You cannot go wrong by reading this book and getting clarification and actionable help on how to address these issues in your life.
March 23, 2020
Some of the topics fell flat for me but probably just because I couldn't personally relate to them. The rest of the topics were very well done and had some great ideas for how to become better in those areas.
July 6, 2020
Morley does a good job walking the reader through a concise book on 10 major topics regarding a man and his faith. The beauty is found in the collaboration with other men, those who both choose the topics to be covered and who offered their own insights. This book is beneficial for a basic introduction of these important topics, though Morley did not have the space to give each topic a thorough run through. Personally, I found myself leaving a chapter thinking there were a couple nuggets but overall was left wanting more. This was definitely the case in the lust chapter. I read that chapter as a young adult who is dating but is not married. That chapter was purely meant for those who are married, seeing as how a dating relationship was rarely ever referred to. The best advice I got was to not have sex until we get married, and once we are married, I have to have regular sex in order to get my lust under control. That is an example of different ways this book left the reader in need of more content, but overall was a sufficient book to get a man on the right path.
I would recommend this book for any Christian man who is in college or higher. It is not really designed for the teenager.
Key terms/phrases:
- Manhood
- Masculinity
- Lust
- Marriage
- Identity
- Balance
- Work
- Sharing Faith
I would recommend this book for any Christian man who is in college or higher. It is not really designed for the teenager.
Key terms/phrases:
- Manhood
- Masculinity
- Lust
- Marriage
- Identity
- Balance
- Work
- Sharing Faith
November 5, 2019
Patrick got a bunch of men of all ages together to discuss the issues confronting them to live as honourable and obedient Christian men in the modern world. The group synthesised the issues down to a Top 10. No surprises to see what made the list:
1. Identity
2. Life Balance
3. Growth as a Kingdom-Minded Man
4. Marriage
5. Children
6. Friendships
7. Work
8. Lust
9. Culture
10. Sharing my Faith
This book consolidates much of what Morley has said previously in his other books and through 40 years of Man in the Mirror ministry into these 10 areas. The content is practical, wise, Biblically sound and easy to understand.
Each chapter ends with a prayer and 3 questions for reflection, both individually and within a small group. There is much to be gained from reading this book individually (as I did) but I believe the greater impact would be to work through it with a few men. Not many just 2-3 would work well.
This is a book that every Christian man of really any age would find relevant and useful.
1. Identity
2. Life Balance
3. Growth as a Kingdom-Minded Man
4. Marriage
5. Children
6. Friendships
7. Work
8. Lust
9. Culture
10. Sharing my Faith
This book consolidates much of what Morley has said previously in his other books and through 40 years of Man in the Mirror ministry into these 10 areas. The content is practical, wise, Biblically sound and easy to understand.
Each chapter ends with a prayer and 3 questions for reflection, both individually and within a small group. There is much to be gained from reading this book individually (as I did) but I believe the greater impact would be to work through it with a few men. Not many just 2-3 would work well.
This is a book that every Christian man of really any age would find relevant and useful.
April 18, 2020
Patrick Morley has been doing men's ministry longer then I have been alive, so I mean no disrespect to him for rating this book 3 stars. In fact, this book was encouraging. Every chapter left me with something to chew on and something to do.
I believe this book would be fruitful for a group of guys to go through and read. It's not eloquent, nor is it ”super manly.” it's simple, and applicable.
Morley goes through a list of important topics every man walks through and how to live them out as a Christian man. The chapters are large sweeping brushes on deep topics, so know that going in. ”The Christian Man” can be a great starting point for some guys.
I believe this book would be fruitful for a group of guys to go through and read. It's not eloquent, nor is it ”super manly.” it's simple, and applicable.
Morley goes through a list of important topics every man walks through and how to live them out as a Christian man. The chapters are large sweeping brushes on deep topics, so know that going in. ”The Christian Man” can be a great starting point for some guys.
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March 16, 2021I like how Patrick gets with his boos. He always gives the theory part then goes in for the kill with the practical. You can't play with a writer who does that. No wonder R. C. Sproul put a foreword to his book "Man in The Mirror."
I find the insights in this book worth using if you want to grow as a Christian man. Use them and see. I am at the part where I need a partner to run this race and I welcome anyone who want s to run this race together. Hit me up.
I find the insights in this book worth using if you want to grow as a Christian man. Use them and see. I am at the part where I need a partner to run this race and I welcome anyone who want s to run this race together. Hit me up.
June 11, 2019
Excellent, helpful examination of, well, the Christian man. Pat hits the topics that men need wisdom on, and he provides just that accessibly and practically.
(full disclosure: the literary agency I work for represents Pat)
(full disclosure: the literary agency I work for represents Pat)
January 30, 2020
Excited to start reading this, Hopefully it helps with my Focus and Anxiety Issues also I struggle with being Obedient to God. Received mine for Free by going to www.maninthemirror.org/radio God's Blessing's Ron.
November 23, 2020
Sincere and thoughtful, to be sure. Certainly comes from a place of affluence, and features a few instances regarding women or minorities that are ill-advised if not tone deaf. Still, could be of immense value to many readers.
August 17, 2022
This was a good book. It takes a while to digest each chapter and think about what was read. I think I will come back to reread this. Lots of great advice and ideas. Another good one from Patrick Morley.
July 9, 2024
Some good, practical advice for men. I disagree with Morley's take on spiritual gifts and his chapter on lust is basic at best. Still, this would be a good book to take some men through, especially if they are new to the faith.
May 22, 2019
Best book I've read in awhile! Absolute must read for every Christian man. There are practical life changing principles in this book that are easy to understand and implement. Very encouraging.
February 3, 2020
Insightful and practical.
September 18, 2020
This was my first Morley book to read and I'm not a fan. While he covers many good topics, he doesn't use scripture enough and is too secular. Perhaps my criticisms is that I have read a lot better authors on the same subjects. Christians don't need to apologize for holding Godly standards and raising their families with piety. Rather than addressing the issue of Christian's judgmental attitude towards others, he seems to think the solution is to lower the standards in Christian families. I could not disagree more. He clearly states in his preface that the book is not about standards, and yet, how does one address "the Christian man" without talking about standards?
I hear he has better books and I will be reading No Man Left Behind soon. Maybe I'll get a different impression of the author with that book. I just do not respect authors that attempt to lower Biblical standards within the Christian family.
I hear he has better books and I will be reading No Man Left Behind soon. Maybe I'll get a different impression of the author with that book. I just do not respect authors that attempt to lower Biblical standards within the Christian family.
May 14, 2021
Great book, lots of very good info to think and study on. Very relatable. On my "to read again multiple times" list.
December 12, 2023
Very good book. Dry start, great after the first 50 pages or so. I found it very helpful as a man seeking to grow and serve my family in larger ways as time goes by.
February 27, 2024
Chapters on life balance, marriage, children, and work were good. Chapter on lust was particularly bad. Rest was meh. Not one I’d recommend.
April 28, 2024
Starts well, Finishes incredibly strong.
April 9, 2021
This book was a good Christian resource read for men. The parts relating to marriage and raising your children don't apply to me since I'm celibate but it was interesting imformation. I recommend this for Christian men who need some encouragement and need to know they are not alone and should not be ashamed that they are going through the things discussed in this work. The parts that did apply to me were very uplifiting. Give it a go!
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews