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All My Friends Have Issues: Building Remarkable Relationships with Imperfect People
Why is it so challenging to create and keep meaningful friendships? Amanda Anderson provides the wise and witty answers, giving practical advice and sharing personal stories to guide us toward the kinds of friendships we long for. Blending faith-based insights and psychological truths, All My Friends Have Issues is a liberating guide to finding and becoming an authentic and encouraging friend. “Anderson becomes the friend we’ve always needed and, in the process, helps us become a better friend.” —Elisa Morgan, president emerita of MOPS International, speaker, and author of The Beauty of Broken “Be ready to laugh and then to learn as Amanda shares her weaknesses and foibles in her relationships with herself and her friends.” —David Stoop, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of You Are What You Think “A captivating and often hilarious book.” —Milan and Kay Yerkovich, authors of How We Love and How We Love Our Kids “Fun and informative. . . . A book I highly recommend!” —Debbie Alsdorf, speaker and author of It’s Momplicated and The Faith Dare “Warm, funny, authentic, and relatable.” —Vivian Mabuni, speaker and author of Open Hands, Willing Heart
208 pages, Paperback
First published July 9, 2019
63 people are currently reading
1412 people want to read
About the author
Amanda Anderson
1 book12 followersAmanda Anderson is a retreat and conference speaker, blogger, Bible teacher, and freelance journalist in Orange County, CA. Her speaking ministry, Heart in Training, reaches young mothers, women’s ministries and 12-step recovery groups around the country. Having overcome a decade-long struggle with anxiety and depression, her messages now focus on learning to follow God and actually enjoy it: through rest, recreating, creating healthy boundaries, risking authentic relationships, and releasing perfectionism.
Amanda Anderson spent many exhausting years trying to find and become the perfect friend until she a made an illuminating discovery: all of her friends had "issues," including herself. But she found that her closest friends admitted and talked about them--and loved each other in spite of them.
Conversational and funny, All My Friends Have Issues shares practical relationship advice, biblical insights, and psychological truths that help women form the kinds of friendships they long for. The key, Anderson says, is to build those relationships on the three pillars of healthy friendship: authenticity, encouragement, and accountability. Blending Scriptural teaching with the best of evidence-based therapeutic models and personal stories, All My Friends Have Issues is a liberating guide to finding and becoming the best kind of friend.
Amanda Anderson spent many exhausting years trying to find and become the perfect friend until she a made an illuminating discovery: all of her friends had "issues," including herself. But she found that her closest friends admitted and talked about them--and loved each other in spite of them.
Conversational and funny, All My Friends Have Issues shares practical relationship advice, biblical insights, and psychological truths that help women form the kinds of friendships they long for. The key, Anderson says, is to build those relationships on the three pillars of healthy friendship: authenticity, encouragement, and accountability. Blending Scriptural teaching with the best of evidence-based therapeutic models and personal stories, All My Friends Have Issues is a liberating guide to finding and becoming the best kind of friend.
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did-not-finish
November 5, 2022This book wasn't sitting well with me. I mean, I loved Anderson's style and humor. I loved her willingness to share her weaknesses and thoughts, but there were a few issues.
In the first part of the book, she used nakedness in both real and metaphorical terms to discuss a close relationship with one's friends. While I personally have never been comfortable with the idea this kind of thing, I would have just passed this by as different people have different comfort levels until I read Friendish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion. I thought she made a compelling case for why some boundaries are best not crossed.
Now of course, the metaphorical use wasn't wrong, but it was overused. However, this is not why I stopped reading.
The reason I gave up on this book (after reading almost half of it) is because of misused scripture and an odd mix of self-help and biblical principles. Now, it wasn't like Anderson completely mangled scripture, but she tried to use passages to make her point that wasn't really saying that.
This isn't a bad book, but not one I can recommend either.
In the first part of the book, she used nakedness in both real and metaphorical terms to discuss a close relationship with one's friends. While I personally have never been comfortable with the idea this kind of thing, I would have just passed this by as different people have different comfort levels until I read Friendish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion. I thought she made a compelling case for why some boundaries are best not crossed.
Now of course, the metaphorical use wasn't wrong, but it was overused. However, this is not why I stopped reading.
The reason I gave up on this book (after reading almost half of it) is because of misused scripture and an odd mix of self-help and biblical principles. Now, it wasn't like Anderson completely mangled scripture, but she tried to use passages to make her point that wasn't really saying that.
This isn't a bad book, but not one I can recommend either.
August 14, 2019
“By all means, set high standards for all your pursuits.... But by no means set unrealistic expectations for yourself in friendship. Forgive and make allowances for each other and then notice your level of joy.”
I first heard Amanda speak three years ago when she gave a talk to our MOPS group. I try to hold close her takeaway of “There’s enough good in good enough,” which she also touches on in this book. I have admired Amanda ever since and fangirl just a bit anytime I hear her name mentioned!
I absolutely adored this book. I knew it was going to be good when I opened to the first chapter and found one of my favorite quotes from Anne of Green Gables about finding your kindred spirits. This book felt like an old, trusted friend was giving me advice, wrapped in cozy blankets (or quilts!), over hot coffee. Amanda is funny, authentic, real, endearing and willing to laugh at herself over past struggles or embarrassments, making her extremely relatable.
I loved hearing her stories, the scripture, and the reminders of how we can be good friends to one another. How we can support and encourage when we are authentic and vulnerable with one another. I can’t wait to reread this book and dive deeper into it with my girlfriends.
My favorite chapter was Two Superhero’s and No Sidekick. I have struggled with comparison in the past (who hasn’t?) and I loved the takeaways from this chapter and how she effortlessly sheds light on some of my past failed friendships (codependency) that I hold on to guilt over. I appreciated her honest and humorous start of the chapter where she admits to always having a nemesis. “It somehow has seemed to give my life a little more interest to have a Newman to my Seinfeld, a Mr. Heckles to my Rachel and Monica, a Slugworth to my Willy Wonka.”
I love her reminder to encourage and empower one another and check on the health of our friendships. “Through this friendship I have come to judge the health of other friendships: the measure of our love for each other is how much we want to see the other succeed. This concept is called mutual mentoring, in which two people see themselves as different but equal. I’m not your project and you’re not mine. Rather “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17). Different gifts. Equal strength.”
I first heard Amanda speak three years ago when she gave a talk to our MOPS group. I try to hold close her takeaway of “There’s enough good in good enough,” which she also touches on in this book. I have admired Amanda ever since and fangirl just a bit anytime I hear her name mentioned!
I absolutely adored this book. I knew it was going to be good when I opened to the first chapter and found one of my favorite quotes from Anne of Green Gables about finding your kindred spirits. This book felt like an old, trusted friend was giving me advice, wrapped in cozy blankets (or quilts!), over hot coffee. Amanda is funny, authentic, real, endearing and willing to laugh at herself over past struggles or embarrassments, making her extremely relatable.
I loved hearing her stories, the scripture, and the reminders of how we can be good friends to one another. How we can support and encourage when we are authentic and vulnerable with one another. I can’t wait to reread this book and dive deeper into it with my girlfriends.
My favorite chapter was Two Superhero’s and No Sidekick. I have struggled with comparison in the past (who hasn’t?) and I loved the takeaways from this chapter and how she effortlessly sheds light on some of my past failed friendships (codependency) that I hold on to guilt over. I appreciated her honest and humorous start of the chapter where she admits to always having a nemesis. “It somehow has seemed to give my life a little more interest to have a Newman to my Seinfeld, a Mr. Heckles to my Rachel and Monica, a Slugworth to my Willy Wonka.”
I love her reminder to encourage and empower one another and check on the health of our friendships. “Through this friendship I have come to judge the health of other friendships: the measure of our love for each other is how much we want to see the other succeed. This concept is called mutual mentoring, in which two people see themselves as different but equal. I’m not your project and you’re not mine. Rather “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17). Different gifts. Equal strength.”
August 12, 2019
Great read! I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I requested it because I have a teenage daughter, and she believes that she is the only one with “issues.” I have tried to explain that everyone has issues – maybe even her same issues. So, I thought this book might provide some insight that I could share with her. What I found was plenty of insight for myself!
Focusing on authenticity, encouragement, and accountability, Anderson provides a framework for ‘building remarkable relationships with imperfect people.” Anderson’s own authenticity rings true as she shares personal antidotes about her own friendships. She writes with the perfect balance of personal stories, good advice, and Biblical focus. Her approach to advice is very encouraging – as opposed to preachy or condensing. She seems to truly want everyone to enjoy the full capacity of friendships.
I marked a ton of highlights in my book. There are amazing thoughts on grace and what it truly means to be a friend. It will have an audience with adult women, but the majority of the book can apply to teenage girls as well. I will definitely be sharing it with mine.
Friendships are a key part of my life. I often blog about friendships I treasure – as well as a bunch of other things - at www.Patch405.com.
I received an advance digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. The thoughts and opinions expressed here are my own.
Focusing on authenticity, encouragement, and accountability, Anderson provides a framework for ‘building remarkable relationships with imperfect people.” Anderson’s own authenticity rings true as she shares personal antidotes about her own friendships. She writes with the perfect balance of personal stories, good advice, and Biblical focus. Her approach to advice is very encouraging – as opposed to preachy or condensing. She seems to truly want everyone to enjoy the full capacity of friendships.
I marked a ton of highlights in my book. There are amazing thoughts on grace and what it truly means to be a friend. It will have an audience with adult women, but the majority of the book can apply to teenage girls as well. I will definitely be sharing it with mine.
Friendships are a key part of my life. I often blog about friendships I treasure – as well as a bunch of other things - at www.Patch405.com.
I received an advance digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. The thoughts and opinions expressed here are my own.
July 20, 2020
I can't tell you how many times I have heard a woman say she isn't good at making friends or being a good friend. Like so often. Female friendships are so tricky. And I have often felt the same way. So I jumped at the chance to read this book.
AND HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE A BOOK THAT STARS BY QUOTING FRIENDS!! Okay, but in all reality, the first few chapters I thought for sure that it was the book that I needed about 5-8 years ago but that I wasn't going to get anything else out of it. I moved around that time and felt lonely and friendless after leaving all that I had known and been comfortable with. A new city, where I knew no one with four kids. My goodness, I felt like I didn't have a clue who I was or what kind of friend I was looking for. That version of me needed this book....or so I thought.
Since then I've found the exact types of friends that she opens the book talking about. I have become an expert at setting boundaries and saying no when I need to and and I'm even learning to say yes a little bit more. So I really wasn't sure that I needed this book. About that time I thought about skimming. Maybe I'd just skim my way through the rest just so that I could say I finished. (I'm a finisher, gosh darn it, a finisher!)
She talks so much about authenticity in the beginning, which I totally get....but authenticity is something so important to me and highly important in friendship. So while I understand how this could resonate with a lot of people, some even whom I know, it doesn't with me. I don't see how you could have a true relationship without authenticity. Which is the author's point I supposed, but has not been an issue for me.
Then, suddenly, I realized this book was not just about finding friends...it was about being a better friend to the ones you have...and therefore becoming a better version of ourselves. Oh my goodness. Why am I so dense? It's about accepting ourselves among out friends. It's about opening ourselves to up to being friends with those we wouldn't typically choose as friends. It's about being open and available to people--and to ourselves.
I realized as I read that every woman really needs this message, because we truly are better together. She opened up things from the Bible that I'd never seen before about friendship. Like how the disciples were truly the best example of friendships from the Bible. All of them were different, differing backgrounds and differing current opinions, but they came together, got along, under one purpose and one mission.
Also, I loved the idea that each friend could be there for a specific need we have. As in, we shouldn't expect one friend to be everything for us and fill every need....like one big super friend...the way we always see it in movies and TV. But that different friends can be there for us in differing ways and vice versa.
I mean, I started to really, REALLY like the author. We don't have a ton in common but I throughout the pages I just really like her. And I think that's pretty important in an author writing a book about friendships.
Plus her quotes are GREAT! They are fun and funny and relevant. Not stuffy and boring like so many chapter beginners. And she thinks Chris Pratt is dreamy....How could I not love her for that.
At one point I looked up other reviews (which I always do after I've already started the book because I don't like starting the book with a cloud of judgement from other reviewers). And I was shocked and not shocked that the bad reviews were pretty much all people who didn't know it was a Christian book and read it anyway....then reviewed it poorly for the author being Christian and talking about the Bible and Christianity! (eye-roll) I truly don't understand how a reviewer could read this and think the author judgmental. The only thing that made sense to me about that is that they jumped to the judgmental conclusion because she is a Christian the book is very "religious" meaning it quotes the Bible and has a Christian world view. She seriously gives so much grace that someone who didn't read or see that has to be simply reading into her words through their own hurt.
In the end, this is a book that all women (or maybe all "Christian" women?) could learn a ton from. We need each other in so many ways and I can't help but wanting to share this book with all the women I know who have said they aren't a good friend or aren't good at making friendships. Start by reading this book and becoming the friend you want to have.
>>Thank you to the publisher for a review copy of this book. My opinions are my own.
AND HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE A BOOK THAT STARS BY QUOTING FRIENDS!! Okay, but in all reality, the first few chapters I thought for sure that it was the book that I needed about 5-8 years ago but that I wasn't going to get anything else out of it. I moved around that time and felt lonely and friendless after leaving all that I had known and been comfortable with. A new city, where I knew no one with four kids. My goodness, I felt like I didn't have a clue who I was or what kind of friend I was looking for. That version of me needed this book....or so I thought.
Since then I've found the exact types of friends that she opens the book talking about. I have become an expert at setting boundaries and saying no when I need to and and I'm even learning to say yes a little bit more. So I really wasn't sure that I needed this book. About that time I thought about skimming. Maybe I'd just skim my way through the rest just so that I could say I finished. (I'm a finisher, gosh darn it, a finisher!)
She talks so much about authenticity in the beginning, which I totally get....but authenticity is something so important to me and highly important in friendship. So while I understand how this could resonate with a lot of people, some even whom I know, it doesn't with me. I don't see how you could have a true relationship without authenticity. Which is the author's point I supposed, but has not been an issue for me.
Then, suddenly, I realized this book was not just about finding friends...it was about being a better friend to the ones you have...and therefore becoming a better version of ourselves. Oh my goodness. Why am I so dense? It's about accepting ourselves among out friends. It's about opening ourselves to up to being friends with those we wouldn't typically choose as friends. It's about being open and available to people--and to ourselves.
I realized as I read that every woman really needs this message, because we truly are better together. She opened up things from the Bible that I'd never seen before about friendship. Like how the disciples were truly the best example of friendships from the Bible. All of them were different, differing backgrounds and differing current opinions, but they came together, got along, under one purpose and one mission.
Also, I loved the idea that each friend could be there for a specific need we have. As in, we shouldn't expect one friend to be everything for us and fill every need....like one big super friend...the way we always see it in movies and TV. But that different friends can be there for us in differing ways and vice versa.
I mean, I started to really, REALLY like the author. We don't have a ton in common but I throughout the pages I just really like her. And I think that's pretty important in an author writing a book about friendships.
Plus her quotes are GREAT! They are fun and funny and relevant. Not stuffy and boring like so many chapter beginners. And she thinks Chris Pratt is dreamy....How could I not love her for that.
At one point I looked up other reviews (which I always do after I've already started the book because I don't like starting the book with a cloud of judgement from other reviewers). And I was shocked and not shocked that the bad reviews were pretty much all people who didn't know it was a Christian book and read it anyway....then reviewed it poorly for the author being Christian and talking about the Bible and Christianity! (eye-roll) I truly don't understand how a reviewer could read this and think the author judgmental. The only thing that made sense to me about that is that they jumped to the judgmental conclusion because she is a Christian the book is very "religious" meaning it quotes the Bible and has a Christian world view. She seriously gives so much grace that someone who didn't read or see that has to be simply reading into her words through their own hurt.
In the end, this is a book that all women (or maybe all "Christian" women?) could learn a ton from. We need each other in so many ways and I can't help but wanting to share this book with all the women I know who have said they aren't a good friend or aren't good at making friendships. Start by reading this book and becoming the friend you want to have.
>>Thank you to the publisher for a review copy of this book. My opinions are my own.
January 21, 2020
This book started very slow, as in I almost didn't finish it which is against all I believe when reading (finish what you start). If that hadn't been the case, I would have given it 4 stars. The second half of the book really lays out how to work in your friend relationships to keep them going. Being a mom and maintaining friendships is hard, but it is worth it. Her encouragement and examples of how dear her friends are really pushed that point. More importantly was how to leave friendships and that doing so is ok as long as you go about it the right way.
December 1, 2020
Maybe it’s my story of deeply painful friendships or the season of life I’m in...but this book was EXACTLY what I needed. I gobbled it up in a day and it spoke such truth to my heart.
I loved the author’s funny and approachable writing style- I genuinely want to hang out with her IRL.
She was so good at helping you determine healthy boundaries with friends and when to RUN...and when to help. I love how she also challenges you within each chapter to think about what YOU are bringing into the friendship. Such practical advice that didn’t feel elementary or watered down.
If you’re someone who struggles with friendships, is looking to make new friends as an adult or simply wants to become more self aware in your relationships, this book is a good read!
I loved the author’s funny and approachable writing style- I genuinely want to hang out with her IRL.
She was so good at helping you determine healthy boundaries with friends and when to RUN...and when to help. I love how she also challenges you within each chapter to think about what YOU are bringing into the friendship. Such practical advice that didn’t feel elementary or watered down.
If you’re someone who struggles with friendships, is looking to make new friends as an adult or simply wants to become more self aware in your relationships, this book is a good read!
October 24, 2019
Relatable, practical, engaging, and so helpful for women who love their friends but want to love them better. Also so insightful for not only being a Christ-centered friend to others, but also how to RECEIVE that friendship in return. What a refreshing take on real life friendships and how God truly can be at the center of them.
January 20, 2020
I enjoyed reading Amanda Anderson's book. First of all, because it has a healthy dose of humor in it and second, because it is loaded with life stories and practical tips.
Good friendships are hard to come by and hard to keep, so it wouldn't hurt to read a well-balanced book about this topic. All my friends have issues is such a book.
I found the chapters a little long for my taste, but I could buy a bookmark of course :)
Good friendships are hard to come by and hard to keep, so it wouldn't hurt to read a well-balanced book about this topic. All my friends have issues is such a book.
I found the chapters a little long for my taste, but I could buy a bookmark of course :)
April 21, 2021
This is a decent book on friendship, and while I don't regret the time I spent with it, I'm not sure I took anything from that is actionable.
December 5, 2019
Excellent book- everyone should have this book around as a manual on friendship!
July 10, 2019
This is a light hearted and fun read packed with truth on how to develop solid and authentic friendships. The tone feels like you’re having coffee with a girlfriend. Of course, this friend just happens to be a smart, well read, quirky and funny woman who places a high value on authentic and loving friendship. You will laugh and learn in abundance.
Read
April 2, 2023Whoa, not for me. Very religious. I tried to read it anyway and keep an open mind but the author’s points didn’t even make sense to me. And it was very distracting mentioning God/Jesus/prayer/church multiple times in every page. I mean, I learned enough from the book to know she was being her authentic self, but it wasn’t my cup of tea.
June 4, 2023
I stumbled upon this book while perusing the Christian reading section at Barnes & Noble. The title made me laugh out loud and the subject felt relatable, since making friendships in mid life can be really difficult.
The book was fun and easy to read, but a bit shallow and trite. The biblical components lacked deep thought and could have been skipped entirely. I did find a few good takeaways, so to spare you the reading, here they are —
1. The majority of people are probably not right for you. This is my biggest issue - naive optimism mixed with social desperation, which leads to doomed friendships. I have learned now to enforce basic standards — is this person intelligent? Do we have similar values? Do they exercise? Are they in a healthy marriage? I find that most red flags present themselves at the first hangout. Every time I have ignored or excused warning signs, that friendship has always eventually revealed itself as untenable.
2. Do not fall in a relationship dynamic of one party is weak and the other strong. This leads to codependency, resentment and loss of respect. Friendships should be more evenly matched.
3. “I am not your project and you are not mine.” Give people the grace and patience to find their own solutions. Personally, I distance at this time, to give friends the space to find their way.
4. Make peace, don’t keep it. I tend to walk away when conflict happens or is looming, so I liked this chapter about working for peace. Befriend teachable hearts (being a good picker!) and be teachable yourself. A friend of mine has been a great example of this for me and I smile thinking of her now. Our friendship has grown well beyond my expectations, and she inspires me to be more teachable.
It’s funny, writing this book review was more helpful than the book itself. I hope you found it helpful too!
The book was fun and easy to read, but a bit shallow and trite. The biblical components lacked deep thought and could have been skipped entirely. I did find a few good takeaways, so to spare you the reading, here they are —
1. The majority of people are probably not right for you. This is my biggest issue - naive optimism mixed with social desperation, which leads to doomed friendships. I have learned now to enforce basic standards — is this person intelligent? Do we have similar values? Do they exercise? Are they in a healthy marriage? I find that most red flags present themselves at the first hangout. Every time I have ignored or excused warning signs, that friendship has always eventually revealed itself as untenable.
2. Do not fall in a relationship dynamic of one party is weak and the other strong. This leads to codependency, resentment and loss of respect. Friendships should be more evenly matched.
3. “I am not your project and you are not mine.” Give people the grace and patience to find their own solutions. Personally, I distance at this time, to give friends the space to find their way.
4. Make peace, don’t keep it. I tend to walk away when conflict happens or is looming, so I liked this chapter about working for peace. Befriend teachable hearts (being a good picker!) and be teachable yourself. A friend of mine has been a great example of this for me and I smile thinking of her now. Our friendship has grown well beyond my expectations, and she inspires me to be more teachable.
It’s funny, writing this book review was more helpful than the book itself. I hope you found it helpful too!
November 12, 2019
I was really excited to read the book based on the description but was kind of disappointed in some of the content. So much so that I chose not to finish the book.
In the second chapter, Amanda discusses one of her friendships that she appreciates because she can say not great things about others and know that what she says won't leave the conversation. She justifies this by saying we all need friendships like this. I struggle with gossip and it has been a sin I have put a lot of prayer into because I have seen the bitterness and hurt it causes, so to see that she justifies it because her friend won't spread what she said doesn't sit right with me. God sees it and knows our hearts. I'd rather have a friend who supports me in that struggle rather than encourage it.
She also stated that there are deal-breakers in friendship (nothing wrong with that), but insinuated that she would be just fine if someone essentially ghosted her because they didn't like something about her. That can be so hurtful if we repeat those patterns to others.
I really liked a lot of the content but had issues with those two things. Based off of what I read up until those statements, I would have given it four stars.
In the second chapter, Amanda discusses one of her friendships that she appreciates because she can say not great things about others and know that what she says won't leave the conversation. She justifies this by saying we all need friendships like this. I struggle with gossip and it has been a sin I have put a lot of prayer into because I have seen the bitterness and hurt it causes, so to see that she justifies it because her friend won't spread what she said doesn't sit right with me. God sees it and knows our hearts. I'd rather have a friend who supports me in that struggle rather than encourage it.
She also stated that there are deal-breakers in friendship (nothing wrong with that), but insinuated that she would be just fine if someone essentially ghosted her because they didn't like something about her. That can be so hurtful if we repeat those patterns to others.
I really liked a lot of the content but had issues with those two things. Based off of what I read up until those statements, I would have given it four stars.
October 2, 2019
All My Friends Have Issues
Building Remarkable Relationships with Imperfect People (Like Me)
by Amanda Anderson
Nelson Books
Thomas Nelson
Christian
Pub Date 09 Jul 2019
I am reviewing a copy of All My Friends Have Issues through Nelson Books and Netgalley:
In this book we are shown we are shown why it is so challenging to make and keep genuine friends as well as the importance of having those very type of friends. We are reminded too of the importance of being genuine and honest in our friendships, admitting our faults as well as our strengths.
We are encouraged in this book to be brave and to be honest with ourselves and our friends. The book also goes on to point out that there is a difference between us being flawed, which we all are and us being foolish. We are reminded too of the importance of giving genuine apologies when we hurt someone.
I give All My Friends Have Issues five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
January 17, 2023
I bought this book because I saw the author speak at a ladies Christmas gathering at church, and I also heard her speak at MOPS. I thought she was an incredibly dynamic speaker, and I thoroughly appreciated the depth she brought to talking about Scripture. Maybe if I read this book in a season of my life where I actually have friends, and I've fully recovered from wounds of previous friendships, I can appreciate this book more. Right now, reading it just made me more depressed and more aware of the fact that I don't have any close friends and too many personal issues. There was one helpful tidbit for trying to make new friends, however, that I didn't realize before: don't share too many personal stories, or struggles with someone you've just met. I've already caught myself doing this and I know, looking back, that I've probably done it alot and turned people off without knowing why. What can I say, I am an open book.
The author is witty, vulnerable, and has a lot of experience with friendships. Id love to have friends like her. After reading this book, however, I kinda feel like not having friends is safer. Women are too complicated and too dramatic. ...also, I have a hunch that someone from a different race, like Asian, would have a very different perspective on friendships and have very different advice to give.
The author is witty, vulnerable, and has a lot of experience with friendships. Id love to have friends like her. After reading this book, however, I kinda feel like not having friends is safer. Women are too complicated and too dramatic. ...also, I have a hunch that someone from a different race, like Asian, would have a very different perspective on friendships and have very different advice to give.
July 2, 2025
First, let me tell you how God put this book in my life.
I was on a plane to Disney, and sat in an aisle seat, which I would never pick by choice, but because I was riding with my sisters… I had no choice 😉. I saw a book in the backseat pocket, pulled it out, and my sisters and I gathered around as we realized this was a Christian book about friendship. Before this flight, I was mulling over and praying over (and realistically worrying) incessantly over a friendship, and this Christian book felt like an answer from the Lord.
The content: It’s not practical specific, because it is supposed to be applicable to a varied audience of women. However, it gives a well-rounded pulse check on your awareness of your friendships.
No, it wasn’t my Type-A answer book, but it showed me the humility I’ve been lacking in my friendships. A gentle heart nudge. Maybe it can be that for you too.
I was on a plane to Disney, and sat in an aisle seat, which I would never pick by choice, but because I was riding with my sisters… I had no choice 😉. I saw a book in the backseat pocket, pulled it out, and my sisters and I gathered around as we realized this was a Christian book about friendship. Before this flight, I was mulling over and praying over (and realistically worrying) incessantly over a friendship, and this Christian book felt like an answer from the Lord.
The content: It’s not practical specific, because it is supposed to be applicable to a varied audience of women. However, it gives a well-rounded pulse check on your awareness of your friendships.
No, it wasn’t my Type-A answer book, but it showed me the humility I’ve been lacking in my friendships. A gentle heart nudge. Maybe it can be that for you too.
August 16, 2019
Amanda Anderson writes with wit, humor and warmth about her own findings, failings, and growth as she has struggled to find, and to be, a good friend to others and to herself.
Her journey is filled with relatable, sometimes embarrassing, and several 'AHA' moments that easily resonate with her readers.
If you too, have longed to Build Remarkable Relationships with Imperfect People (Like Me), this book is for you! And for so many others (perhaps not as self-aware as you are!) as well.
Well done, Ms. Anderson. You get 4.5 rounded up to 5 stars from me!!
Many thanks to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson Publishers for allowing me the privilege of reading this delightful book in exchange for an unbiased reviews. All opinions expressed are my own.
Her journey is filled with relatable, sometimes embarrassing, and several 'AHA' moments that easily resonate with her readers.
If you too, have longed to Build Remarkable Relationships with Imperfect People (Like Me), this book is for you! And for so many others (perhaps not as self-aware as you are!) as well.
Well done, Ms. Anderson. You get 4.5 rounded up to 5 stars from me!!
Many thanks to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson Publishers for allowing me the privilege of reading this delightful book in exchange for an unbiased reviews. All opinions expressed are my own.
August 24, 2019
All My Friends Have Issues
By Amanda Anderson
Our lives are full of relationships. Some come naturally but most require work and intention. Amanda Anderson addresses how to navigate friendship in an easy to read and engaging way. This book read like a conversation with a wise friend. Anderson is honest and genuine in sharing how to identify and work towards relationships we desire. I was able to recognize qualities in myself I need to work on and how to encourage and support friendships to blossom into God-honoring relationships.
I enjoyed this book greatly and recommend it for women of all ages. My book is full of highlighter!
I received a copy of this title from NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion.
By Amanda Anderson
Our lives are full of relationships. Some come naturally but most require work and intention. Amanda Anderson addresses how to navigate friendship in an easy to read and engaging way. This book read like a conversation with a wise friend. Anderson is honest and genuine in sharing how to identify and work towards relationships we desire. I was able to recognize qualities in myself I need to work on and how to encourage and support friendships to blossom into God-honoring relationships.
I enjoyed this book greatly and recommend it for women of all ages. My book is full of highlighter!
I received a copy of this title from NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion.
January 19, 2020
Thank you to NetGalley and Nelson Books for giving me a digital copy of this book to read and honestly review. I have to admit starting out that I got a little excited and requested this book before realizing that it was a Christian book. I decided to read it anyway because it's a book about friendship, how religious can it be?
Answer: Extremely religious. It's filled with scripture and religious anecdotes, lots of love for God and Jesus that is no doubt extremely genuine. All of the authors friends seem to be Christian and I'm not sure if the judgy author could even be friends with someone who isn't.
I didn't really like this book and starting at about 65%, I skimmed the rest of the way through.
Answer: Extremely religious. It's filled with scripture and religious anecdotes, lots of love for God and Jesus that is no doubt extremely genuine. All of the authors friends seem to be Christian and I'm not sure if the judgy author could even be friends with someone who isn't.
I didn't really like this book and starting at about 65%, I skimmed the rest of the way through.
April 10, 2020
Easy 5 stars. This book was so so good. It was entirely engaging from the very beginning. There were heavy doses of humor peppered throughout the entire book which reminded me somewhat of Jen Hatmaker's writing. While this book was enjoyable there was also a lot of good advice and information in it. I was worried it would be a stereotypical Christian book that tells you God is your best friend so you don't actually need human friends. But this was very practical. There was actual advice on connecting with other women, how you know it's time to walk away from friendships, and when it might be time to apologize yourself. It was a lot to think about, not surfacy stuff. I highly recommend this book.
June 26, 2021
I don't mind reading books written by Christian authors. Heck, I am a believing woman myself.
The moment, however, the author starts throwing in judgements like: "that is what you would expect from non-Christians."
Who does she think we are? Does she truly think that only Christians are not allowed to backbite (for example)? That us, the unsaved of the world, don't have expectations around behaviour, whether grounded in faith or not?
Please, Amanda Anderson, find yourself a whole lot of friends, from a whole lot of very DIFFERENT backgrounds and learn and see that there are decent people everywhere.
Also, no, I don't invite many people into my home. I have very good friends. Thank you very much.
The moment, however, the author starts throwing in judgements like: "that is what you would expect from non-Christians."
Who does she think we are? Does she truly think that only Christians are not allowed to backbite (for example)? That us, the unsaved of the world, don't have expectations around behaviour, whether grounded in faith or not?
Please, Amanda Anderson, find yourself a whole lot of friends, from a whole lot of very DIFFERENT backgrounds and learn and see that there are decent people everywhere.
Also, no, I don't invite many people into my home. I have very good friends. Thank you very much.
May 17, 2020
I was delighted with this book! The author uses Biblical insights and insights from professional work by Christian psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend (the books are Safe People and Boundaries, which I also have--can you tell I have challenges in being a good friend?) together with practical advice on how to have better friendships in real life, and particularly, how to acknowledge and address your own role in the problems being encountered. (That was a run-on sentence-ha!) She definitely advocates for some digging deep and raising self awareness, which really goes a long way toward healthy friendships. I'll be reading this again.
June 14, 2020
I received an ARC from Thomas Nelson Books, via NetGalley this review is my opinion.
What a funny and deep book, Amanda Anderson with a hilarious and honest way opens herself about her and her friends and goes step by step in this maze called friendship. With practical and biblical advice she approaches this necessary topic in our modern society. One of the things I like about this book is that it is more of the honesty and real-life situations. Amanda Anderson shows us that life can be messy and sometimes complicated, but by the grace of God we have an opportunity on growing godly and good friendship.
What a funny and deep book, Amanda Anderson with a hilarious and honest way opens herself about her and her friends and goes step by step in this maze called friendship. With practical and biblical advice she approaches this necessary topic in our modern society. One of the things I like about this book is that it is more of the honesty and real-life situations. Amanda Anderson shows us that life can be messy and sometimes complicated, but by the grace of God we have an opportunity on growing godly and good friendship.
July 6, 2025
Relationships are hard, and friendships don't seem to get their fair share of attention from the 'self-help' realm.
This book is a place to take your friendship struggles and hear some advice from a friend who is a little wiser, a little more thoughtful, a little more understanding, and a little more spiritually grounded than most.
It's instructive in ways to deepen friendships and in pitfalls to avoid when framing and creating friendships. It's great that it takes a flaws-forward view of friendships and what each person brings into them.
This book is a place to take your friendship struggles and hear some advice from a friend who is a little wiser, a little more thoughtful, a little more understanding, and a little more spiritually grounded than most.
It's instructive in ways to deepen friendships and in pitfalls to avoid when framing and creating friendships. It's great that it takes a flaws-forward view of friendships and what each person brings into them.
October 30, 2019
Amanda takes about her friendships and the lessons she's learned through mistakes, experience, and growth. She reminds us that not all relationships are meant to be sustained, but even good ones require work and grace. I appreciate her honesty and perspective. She reminds us of the importance and benefits of having strong female friendships. A great book for those who want to strengthen their relationships of all kinds.
January 23, 2020
I feel like this book should be required reading for every girl when she enters the tween arena. Author Amanda Anderson helps girls both young and old navigate through relationships (and relationship issues) with grace. She gives practical advice on creating boundaries while also serving others. Instead of teaching women that life should be all about them because they deserve the world, Anderson offers women a chance at learning to be gracious, humble and kind. A much needed message today!
October 15, 2021
Very good points worth thinking about although her personality is so far from mine I think most of the book did not apply to me. The author is definitely an extrovert, perfectionist, self described codependent.. I just don't struggle with the same things she does and found much of what she said not relatable.
However, I am glad I read her take on how to be a good friend and how to cultivate healthy friendships.
However, I am glad I read her take on how to be a good friend and how to cultivate healthy friendships.
June 4, 2021
Enjoyable. A lot like you're sitting down with your girlfriends to talk about your daily struggles except it's about those girlfriends, cultivating the relationships with them, and being aware of their impact on your life and the reverse. Friendly advice on the mindful cultivation of friendships sums it up.
October 2, 2021
Love this book
So much good info here based on scripture and the author's own personal experience. I met Amanda at a retreat last weekend and was inspired to buy her book. So glad I did. If you want to be a good friend and have good friends, this is your book. So much godly wisdom here. And did I forget to mention that she is also frequently hilarious?! Get this book!
So much good info here based on scripture and the author's own personal experience. I met Amanda at a retreat last weekend and was inspired to buy her book. So glad I did. If you want to be a good friend and have good friends, this is your book. So much godly wisdom here. And did I forget to mention that she is also frequently hilarious?! Get this book!
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