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Rethinking Everything: When Faith and Reality Don't Make Sense
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN LIFE DOESN'T END UP THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO?
American evangelical Christianity is a uniquely American Phenomenon. Ingrained in culture and politics, fundamentalism ascribes to strict theological and political dogmas in ways that seldom mirror our vast human experiences. That's when people of faith find themselves caught in the crosshairs of belief and real life.
Rethinking Everything When Faith and Reality Don't Make Sense is a book for real people with real questions. An intellectual and emotional journey, readers discover the origins of their faith, and how we struggle to separate belief from reality in a world of fundamentalist absolutes. It addresses the feelings of anger, depression, and fear that often go with strict theological conformity we, or others, have placed on us. Rethinking Everything is a book about letting go, finding peace, and discovering your passion again.
American evangelical Christianity is a uniquely American Phenomenon. Ingrained in culture and politics, fundamentalism ascribes to strict theological and political dogmas in ways that seldom mirror our vast human experiences. That's when people of faith find themselves caught in the crosshairs of belief and real life.
Rethinking Everything When Faith and Reality Don't Make Sense is a book for real people with real questions. An intellectual and emotional journey, readers discover the origins of their faith, and how we struggle to separate belief from reality in a world of fundamentalist absolutes. It addresses the feelings of anger, depression, and fear that often go with strict theological conformity we, or others, have placed on us. Rethinking Everything is a book about letting go, finding peace, and discovering your passion again.
252 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 1, 2018
5 people are currently reading
19 people want to read
About the author
Tim Rymel
8 books13 followersI spent nearly 25 years as a fundamentalist, evangelical minister, including six years in leadership at what was once the world's oldest and most renowned "ex-gay" ministry. I am a conversion therapy survivor. My books include, Rethinking Everything - When Faith and Reality Don't Make Sense (2018), Going Gay (2014), and the business book, Everything I Learned About Management I Learned From Having a Kindergartner (2012). I've also written two e-books: Where Did My Religion Come From?: A Brief History of American Evangelical Christianity (2018) and 5 Facts About Conversion Therapy We Know For Sure (2018). And I contributed a chapter to the academic book, Negotiating Spiritual Violence in the Queer Community (2019).
I'm a freelance writer on the confluence of religion, politics, and sexuality. My work has appeared in, among other outlets, Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, Medium, Fox News Radio, Vice News, and multiple radio shows and podcasts. I hold a graduate degree in education, where I focused my studies on cognition and transformative learning, and I’m a member of the American Psychological Association.
I'm married to an incredible guy who teaches blind kids. And we are recent empty nesters with two daughters currently in college.
I'm a freelance writer on the confluence of religion, politics, and sexuality. My work has appeared in, among other outlets, Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, Medium, Fox News Radio, Vice News, and multiple radio shows and podcasts. I hold a graduate degree in education, where I focused my studies on cognition and transformative learning, and I’m a member of the American Psychological Association.
I'm married to an incredible guy who teaches blind kids. And we are recent empty nesters with two daughters currently in college.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
February 1, 2019
As a person of deep faith who has made her home in the church, this was a very challenging book for me to read; however, I continued reading because I believe it is important for me to hear the authentic firsthand accounts of people who have been hurt by the church.
The best sections of this book are the parts of memoir in which Rymel brings his experience to life by speaking vividly and earnestly about his journey of faith and the ways in which his experience of organized religion has left him deeply hurt. Rymel, a former member and pastor in the fundamentalist church, survived conversion therapy. I am glad to see that he is taking this terrible experience and using his voice to help others.
I disagree with a lot of Rymel's conclusions. His writing had far too much of an agnostic- if not outright atheistic- bend for my taste; however, this is understandable. As a person of faith, when I sit down to write, I know that my writing has a distinctly Christian perspective. No human is completely objective.
I appreciate the fact that Rymel clearly did a great deal of research when preparing this book. It's obvious that he has done his homework. I disagree with many of his conclusions, especially his handling of the Hebrew Bible, but a review is not the place to argue the finer points of theology.
I gave this book four stars because I believe it is very important to honor the voices and the stories of those who have been hurt by the church. Due to this book's atheistic slant, I cannot in good conscious recommend it to laity who have not had at least some deeper grounding in biblical exegesis; however, this is an important text for church leaders to read so that they can begin to come to an understanding of why many people today distrust organized religion.
In short, I thoroughly support the author's assertion that we should question everything. It is my hope that those who read this book will be inspired to continue reading, researching, and thinking critically.
Note: I received a free digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The best sections of this book are the parts of memoir in which Rymel brings his experience to life by speaking vividly and earnestly about his journey of faith and the ways in which his experience of organized religion has left him deeply hurt. Rymel, a former member and pastor in the fundamentalist church, survived conversion therapy. I am glad to see that he is taking this terrible experience and using his voice to help others.
I disagree with a lot of Rymel's conclusions. His writing had far too much of an agnostic- if not outright atheistic- bend for my taste; however, this is understandable. As a person of faith, when I sit down to write, I know that my writing has a distinctly Christian perspective. No human is completely objective.
I appreciate the fact that Rymel clearly did a great deal of research when preparing this book. It's obvious that he has done his homework. I disagree with many of his conclusions, especially his handling of the Hebrew Bible, but a review is not the place to argue the finer points of theology.
I gave this book four stars because I believe it is very important to honor the voices and the stories of those who have been hurt by the church. Due to this book's atheistic slant, I cannot in good conscious recommend it to laity who have not had at least some deeper grounding in biblical exegesis; however, this is an important text for church leaders to read so that they can begin to come to an understanding of why many people today distrust organized religion.
In short, I thoroughly support the author's assertion that we should question everything. It is my hope that those who read this book will be inspired to continue reading, researching, and thinking critically.
Note: I received a free digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
May 15, 2024
Tim chronicles his "de-construction of Christian faith journey". It's become a popular trend in 21st Century Christianity with the proliferation of the means to acquire and convey knowledge, especially through electronic means. In the end of the 20th and beginning of the 21st, we are living in a "neo-age of enlightenment", or so we are tempted to think. But our questioning of Truth, and our questioning of God, which is THE essential question and issue of life, is as old as life itself.
Here is the writing of one who was on a journey similar to Tim's, dating back to 710 BC. His struggles and his resolution are poetically described in Psalm 73 of the Hebrew Bible.
Truly God is good to Israel,
to those whose hearts are pure.
2
But as for me, I almost lost my footing.
My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.
3
For I envied the proud
when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.
4
They seem to live such painless lives;
their bodies are so healthy and strong.
5
They don’t have troubles like other people;
they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else.
6
They wear pride like a jeweled necklace
and clothe themselves with cruelty.
7
These fat cats have everything
their hearts could ever wish for!
8
They scoff and speak only evil;
in their pride they seek to crush others.
9
They boast against the very heavens,
and their words strut throughout the earth.
10
And so the people are dismayed and confused,
drinking in all their words.
11
“What does God know?” they ask.
“Does the Most High even know what’s happening?”
12
Look at these wicked people—
enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.
13
Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?
Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?
14
I get nothing but trouble all day long;
every morning brings me pain.
15
If I had really spoken this way to others,
I would have been a traitor to your people.
16
So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper.
But what a difficult task it is!
17
Then I went into your sanctuary, O God,
and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked.
18
Truly, you put them on a slippery path
and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction.
19
In an instant they are destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors.
20
When you arise, O Lord,
you will laugh at their silly ideas
as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.
21
Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
and I was all torn up inside.
22
I was so foolish and ignorant—
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
23
Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.
24
You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
25
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
26
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
Here is the writing of one who was on a journey similar to Tim's, dating back to 710 BC. His struggles and his resolution are poetically described in Psalm 73 of the Hebrew Bible.
Truly God is good to Israel,
to those whose hearts are pure.
2
But as for me, I almost lost my footing.
My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.
3
For I envied the proud
when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.
4
They seem to live such painless lives;
their bodies are so healthy and strong.
5
They don’t have troubles like other people;
they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else.
6
They wear pride like a jeweled necklace
and clothe themselves with cruelty.
7
These fat cats have everything
their hearts could ever wish for!
8
They scoff and speak only evil;
in their pride they seek to crush others.
9
They boast against the very heavens,
and their words strut throughout the earth.
10
And so the people are dismayed and confused,
drinking in all their words.
11
“What does God know?” they ask.
“Does the Most High even know what’s happening?”
12
Look at these wicked people—
enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.
13
Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?
Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?
14
I get nothing but trouble all day long;
every morning brings me pain.
15
If I had really spoken this way to others,
I would have been a traitor to your people.
16
So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper.
But what a difficult task it is!
17
Then I went into your sanctuary, O God,
and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked.
18
Truly, you put them on a slippery path
and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction.
19
In an instant they are destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors.
20
When you arise, O Lord,
you will laugh at their silly ideas
as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.
21
Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
and I was all torn up inside.
22
I was so foolish and ignorant—
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
23
Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.
24
You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
25
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
26
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
April 29, 2019
I'm happy to have had the opportunity to read this book, provided to me at no charge in exchange for a review, which I will post both here and at Amazon.
Rethinking everything is recommended for people who have come out of a rigid dogmatic belief system, particularly if it is reinforced by one's social group and family. Rymel deals with the psychological realities one must work through when making such a radical, almost traumatizing change. He describes the guilt and uncertainty and loneliness which almost seems inevitable in such situations, ultimately encouraging people to embrace where they are and not to be ashamed.
Because the more theological discussions occur in appendices, which comprise about half the book, I believe that the author's main point lies in the first half, the body of the text. I won't discuss these appendices. I do not come from a fundamentalist background, but rather a Catholic and Orthodox one, so I cannot speak to the perspectives offered therein. As a person who has been on his own journey of faith and almost radical change for about 40 years, what interested me was that first half, which I think was excellent. It was evident to me in reading that the author was not familiar enough with Catholicism to address that reality, but I can confirm that it would be very easy to fall into a slump of scrupulosity, adhering to rigid authoritarianism and stodgy dogma, and to come out of that, which I have done in my moves into Orthodoxy and later to the Old Catholic path, where I rest now; the feelings mirror each other. I could see my own journey reflected in Rymel's.
The audience for this book is definitely more centered in those LGBT Christians coming out of a fundamentalist path, but for those coming out of any of the more rigid Christianities, this would be a helpful book to read.
My caveat: this review is for the main text only, not the appendices.
Rethinking everything is recommended for people who have come out of a rigid dogmatic belief system, particularly if it is reinforced by one's social group and family. Rymel deals with the psychological realities one must work through when making such a radical, almost traumatizing change. He describes the guilt and uncertainty and loneliness which almost seems inevitable in such situations, ultimately encouraging people to embrace where they are and not to be ashamed.
Because the more theological discussions occur in appendices, which comprise about half the book, I believe that the author's main point lies in the first half, the body of the text. I won't discuss these appendices. I do not come from a fundamentalist background, but rather a Catholic and Orthodox one, so I cannot speak to the perspectives offered therein. As a person who has been on his own journey of faith and almost radical change for about 40 years, what interested me was that first half, which I think was excellent. It was evident to me in reading that the author was not familiar enough with Catholicism to address that reality, but I can confirm that it would be very easy to fall into a slump of scrupulosity, adhering to rigid authoritarianism and stodgy dogma, and to come out of that, which I have done in my moves into Orthodoxy and later to the Old Catholic path, where I rest now; the feelings mirror each other. I could see my own journey reflected in Rymel's.
The audience for this book is definitely more centered in those LGBT Christians coming out of a fundamentalist path, but for those coming out of any of the more rigid Christianities, this would be a helpful book to read.
My caveat: this review is for the main text only, not the appendices.
March 14, 2020
A must read for LGBTQ people raised in religiously abusive environments
I am so glad that I read this book now. My journey as a conversion therapy survivor is one that I am still on, and this book helped me reevaluate what I believed about myself and why I had to leave the church. Tim takes us on a nuanced journey of understanding the origins of our beliefs and gives us the tools to choose a belief system that works for us. I appreciated him telling us to find out who we are, and that shaking off religious dogma is not going to be easy.
I am so glad that I read this book now. My journey as a conversion therapy survivor is one that I am still on, and this book helped me reevaluate what I believed about myself and why I had to leave the church. Tim takes us on a nuanced journey of understanding the origins of our beliefs and gives us the tools to choose a belief system that works for us. I appreciated him telling us to find out who we are, and that shaking off religious dogma is not going to be easy.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews