Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances

by Cameron Huddleston

Learn to start open, productive talks about money with your parents as they age As your parents age, you may find that you want or need to broach the often-difficult subject of finances. In Mom and Dad, We Need to How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances, you’ll learn the best ways to approach this issue, along with a wealth of financial and legal information that will help you help your parents into and through their golden years. Sometimes parents are reluctant to address money matters with their adult children, and topics such as long-term care, retirement savings (or lack thereof), and end-of-life planning can be particularly touchy. In this book, you’ll hear from others in your position who have successfully had “the talk” with their parents, and you’ll read about a variety of conversation strategies that can make talking finances more comfortable and more productive. For children of Baby Boomers and others looking to assist aging parents with their finances, Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk is a welcome and comforting read. Although talking money with your parents can be hard, you aren’t alone, and this book will guide you through the process of having fruitful financial conversations that lead to meaningful action.

Genres: Finance, Nonfiction, Personal Finance, Money, Audiobook, Self Help, Family

256 pages, Hardcover

Published June 25, 2019

Reviews

[Ciara Montes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think everyone in their 30-40s needs to read this. Heavy but so helpful

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent, short guide to conversations to have and information to know about your parents' financial situation and end-of-life care preferences. Huddleston does a nice job balancing advice and anecdotes, with just enough encouragement to take action before it's needed.

My only major issue with this is one I have with many interpersonal advice books; namely, that it's not much help if the other party refuses to engage in good faith. Huddleston does include a section on overcoming objections and reluctance (read: stubbornness) that has some helpful tips, but it will be insufficient for those with complicated parental relationships. The book also did not touch on filial responsibility laws, which further complicate matters.

The audiobook quality was good but for this subject, I need some reference material, so I might encourage acquiring the printed or ebook over the audio version.

I liked Huddleston's focus on having a series of conversations and recommendations on how to prepare your own children for your future needs. Highly recommended as an accessible guide to this emotionally fraught and necessary topic.

[Amber Nosek · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a few goals this year specific to becoming more literate around personal finance... I came across this book after a recommendation on a financial podcast I listen to. I picked it up to help me with a few specific topics, but found a lot of value in the broad look at parents and tough conversations. If you have a living parent, no matter their/your situation, I can’t help but think this book would be very useful. #adulting

[Krissy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a SUPER quick read, which is excellent. This was not anything new or ground-breaking information-wise, but it's an excellent packaged bundle of good advice and someone telling you to stop procrastinating. Sometimes, that's all you really need--someone else telling you to stop procrastinating.

There's some excellent examples to consider, some good lists of topics to hit, advice on how to approach and key details to remember, and where and when to go soft or hard on a topic. Occasionally there's a few lines that make me think "This is a good how-to guide to stealing someone's identity," but at the end of the day this book takes a very practical, realistic approach and stays very strictly in its lane of -->financial discussions with parents<--, no deviations to even tangential topics like funeral arrangements or selling their house.

I don't think this is by any means a universally useful book, but I do suspect that it's self-selecting--if you're interested in picking it up, you're probably already the target audience (middle to lower-middle class parents, currently middle class, young adult/middle-age, living in the same country if not state or city, etc).

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is great for the children of parents who are approaching retirement age. It discusses a number of topics to understand, circumstances to be mindful of and obstacles to avoid when having hard conversations. The books does a great job at giving you a list of things that should be known or asked as our parents grow older into an age where life gets a little more difficult and confusing. I enjoyed reading certain sections that made me realize how many things I took for granted and didn’t know. My two complaints about the book was how repetitive the scenarios and topics got after the first few chapters. Second, the book felt overly casual like a blog post. It’s great for conversation starters and a few good resources to learn more from, but the flow of it was lacking.

[Lauren Minors · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not the most uplifting book I've read, but I'm glad I bought it — fairly sound advice on how to approach end-of-life conversations from a variety of angles that are sensitive to a variety of family dynamics around money, siblings, and practicalities. Tons of great lists and resources. The whole book won't apply to everyone (because every family is different) but you'll find what you need, in addition to the VERY good advice to get an elder care attorney involved. Also super helpful in planning one's own end-of-life care so someone else doesn't have to read this in order to deal with you - ha!

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cameron Huddleston presents a practical guide for helping your parents get organized about end of life care and final wishes. You assume your parents have everything in place - power of attorney docs, a living will, beneficiaries on accounts, burial wishes, etc. because, well, they are your parents, and you already have all these things in place. But, if they haven't talked to you about it, surprise, they likely haven't planned for anything. Don't be afraid to bring things up.

Even if it's too late to have the conversation with your parents, it's not too late to get your own house in order. Please do it for the sake of the people you care about most.

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book thoroughly went over all of the information and documents you should have in place in order to be prepared in the case you need to help your parents out financially or medically. However, the first 2 or 3 chapters just went over all of the things you were going to learn, like a term paper. And almost all of the examples of people dealing with aging parents were financial experts, so they could talk to their parents because they write a blog about finances, etc. It would have been nice to have more examples of "regular" people, not financial gurus.

[Sebastian Sanio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cameron does a very well job in explaining what needs to be taken into account to take care of your parents finances and health when they can no longer do it themselves and preparing in advance. She details all the documents and the information you need and how to get them.

Also, she gives recommendations about how to approach the conversations with your parents so they are successful, including how to handle any potential "but".

All in all, a book worth reading and putting into practice.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5. Perhaps stories could have been integrated into “how to” chapters—instead of being given their own chapters, which I skipped. Instead of repetition, the book could’ve gone through the nitty-gritty of what happens when a parent doesn’t have a will, POA, etc. Nonetheless book fills an important hole in the personal finance space. I appreciated how the book explores human psychology about money, draws expertise from different fields, and provides multiple resources.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really helpful discussion of how and when to talk to your parents and siblings about your parents’ finances and wishes. Many chapters end with thoughtful exercises. It is US centric whenever it goes into details (around Medicare versus Medicaid), but the questions around the conversations would still be helpful when talking to Canadian parents.

[WAYNE DIAMOND · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some obvious points to get across about your own estate planning in the eventual demise of independent living. The author explains that it is better to have the talk sooner or later with your parents, before early dementia or other aging issues present themselves creating a plan/roadmap to financial/social/placement etc.

The book offers many important resources for who to call for assistance.

[Marie Burns · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Comprehensive Guide to the Financial Talk with your Parents

Cameron covers the roadblocks and solutions everyone needs to understand before having that caring financial talk with your parents. Complete with the resources to do it, she not only guides you but reminds you how important this really is. Super helpful!

[Dennis · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a good book for preparation for things to talk to your parents about. I was not crazy about the financial recommendations of investing, long term care insurance, etc. and felt they glossed over certain things at best and were actually a bad idea at worst, but that wasn't what the book was about. In terms of how and why to prepare things with your parents, it was a great resource.

[Melanie]

I'll possible return to this one. It feels a bit facile, but the subject is important. The author seems to think that parents are eager to discuss this stuff with their children, though I wonder how often that's actually the case. DNF at page 71 for now (feb 2020)

[Myriam Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book broke down the basics of estate planning with an emotional intelligence twist. It gave excellent recommendations on how to talk to your parents about their finances. I've started my conversation with my mom and grandma with the help of this book :)

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes it's a little repetitive, but overall, excellent guide to talk to parents about aging and retirement. I love that the author also gives advice on how to pay it forward and get comfortable having these difficult conversations with your own kids as well.

[Amanda Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's good data in here about what to talk about with your parents, why it's important, and some strategies for the conversation. That said, the content is pretty repetitive. Overall a fine book but i think i could have gotten the same from an article.

[Natalie Green · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick and easy listen for those wanting to get all their affairs in order as well as their aging parents. There wasn't anything profound but some good tips on starting the conversations and helping your parents do what they need to in order to save the heirs some headaches after death.

[James McGlynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for ideas on helping parents with finances.

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bought prior to having necessary conversations with Mum and Dad before advanced care directive meetings; even with the obviously American bias, still very useful.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful guide for anyone who will one day have to care for an older relative. Find out NOW what information and documents you will need. Waiting for a crisis will only make the task harder.

[Taran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely a worthwhile read

[Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good starting point for me to begin the research for end of life planning for myself and my parents, but overall the book was less helpful than I had hoped it would be.

[Linden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most of us will need to help our parents, financially or otherwise, at some point as they age. This book provides a helpful roadmap for navigating these conversations. I found the stories most helpful, and I'm sure I will be recommending this book to others.

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended on the "Can I retire yet?" blog

[Nancy Kendall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hoopla (5 hrs)