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How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign: The Ultimate Horrorscope
The Ultimate Horrorscope
Join the women around the world whose love lives have been transformed by the astro-guide that pulls no punches when it comes to the dark side of men and their star signs.
Use it to... -Deride, ridicule, and annoy the hell out of men - Speed up the dating process by using star sign elimination - Avoid dating complete scum - Keep current boyfriends/husbands in their places - Keep conversation going at dinner parties - And much, much more!
Discover who you are destined not to date...
A match made in heaven or the relationship from hell? Find out which zodiac couplings are the least likely to result in derision, depression, divorce, or death! - Are you good enough for a LEO? - Can you put up with PISCES? - Will you get along with GEMINI? - Do you have the skills necessary to cope with VIRGO? Put yourself to the test with our 12 compatibility quizzes - each one carefully designed to ensure you know exactly which bastards to avoid in the future.
Now men will cringe when you ask them what their star signs are!
Join the women around the world whose love lives have been transformed by the astro-guide that pulls no punches when it comes to the dark side of men and their star signs.
Use it to... -Deride, ridicule, and annoy the hell out of men - Speed up the dating process by using star sign elimination - Avoid dating complete scum - Keep current boyfriends/husbands in their places - Keep conversation going at dinner parties - And much, much more!
Discover who you are destined not to date...
A match made in heaven or the relationship from hell? Find out which zodiac couplings are the least likely to result in derision, depression, divorce, or death! - Are you good enough for a LEO? - Can you put up with PISCES? - Will you get along with GEMINI? - Do you have the skills necessary to cope with VIRGO? Put yourself to the test with our 12 compatibility quizzes - each one carefully designed to ensure you know exactly which bastards to avoid in the future.
Now men will cringe when you ask them what their star signs are!
144 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
17 people are currently reading
374 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
May 3, 2008
This is quite possibly one of the best reference books ever. A perfectly essential book for all of us unlucky-in-love types. The only thing missing is the "How to Spot a Jobless Psychopath" sequel. Oh, right. That's mine to write.
NC
NC
July 28, 2009
Most horoscope books tell you the lovely, fun, exciting things about your boyfriend/crush/prospective mate. Yes, Aries are confident and friendly, Taurses are dependable, and Pisces are artsy and creative. But is that what's really important? I beg to differ. What you really NEED to know before that third date is whether or not he's a potential serial killer (Virgo), scary jealous (Leo), or will chase you down till the end of time until you admit you were wrong (Scorpio). The good stuff is gravy. The bad stuff is vital! This book is hilarious and will have you reading aloud parts saying "oh my God that's exactly like my ex-boyfriend So-and-so!" It's so frighteningly accurate, I had to wonder if the authors had been stalking me.
March 4, 2015
I picked this up as a nice gag gift for my sister, and couldn't resist. This book is all good fun, and I absolutely hope to find a copy of the men's guide, "How to Spot an Bitch by Her Star Sign".
This book was short but enjoyable. Every page had me laughing. I would have rated it a 4 star, but there was one thing I really didn't enjoy, I'd be laughing and trying to think of who I knew who would be ridiculous enough to really act like that, then hitting a brick wall of feminist agenda head on. This isn't a book I think anyone would really take seriously, so it was awkward and uncomfortable to have the constant underlying tone of hostility. So sadly it ranks a three on my list for the good laughs.
If I had to sum it up in a few words it would be; Entertaining (at times Hilarious), Original, and Profound. And unfortunately at some points it was; Belligerent, Unsympathetic, and Bitter.
All in all its a good little read for some light-hearted laughs. And in the end I still love my Aries Bastard :D
This book was short but enjoyable. Every page had me laughing. I would have rated it a 4 star, but there was one thing I really didn't enjoy, I'd be laughing and trying to think of who I knew who would be ridiculous enough to really act like that, then hitting a brick wall of feminist agenda head on. This isn't a book I think anyone would really take seriously, so it was awkward and uncomfortable to have the constant underlying tone of hostility. So sadly it ranks a three on my list for the good laughs.
If I had to sum it up in a few words it would be; Entertaining (at times Hilarious), Original, and Profound. And unfortunately at some points it was; Belligerent, Unsympathetic, and Bitter.
All in all its a good little read for some light-hearted laughs. And in the end I still love my Aries Bastard :D
April 17, 2012
So, the title would have me believe that this book was written for daters of men, but it works perfectly for me as a lesbian. I bought this book because I was laughing so hard in the shop that it was getting embarrassing. Every word about her was true and every word about me was true. And every time I have dated someone or been sleeping with someone since, I have consulted this book. It has never failed me. How do the authors know? Shocking. Brilliant. Love it.
June 28, 2018
How To Spot A Bastard By His Star Sign – Adele Lang and Susi Rajah
What a fun book! Had such a rollicking, rip-roaring, rumbustious ride with this one! I had seen a friend here on Goodreads read and give it a good rating and I was definitely intrigued by the title. I put it on my to-read shelf and then my best friend gifted it to me for my birthday! However, I finally got around to reading it now and I am so glad I did.
This book is for astrology lovers who enjoy satire, have a comedic bone and love humor. Lang and Rajah chart out the twelve zodiac signs and their characteristics. However, this manual is strictly for those who like men and want to see which zodiac sign they might be compatible.
I read several reviews on goodreads which dissed the book because it was making fun of men and was supposedly was written by anti-men writers. I disagree. This is a book which bashes men, yes. It makes fun of them, yes. But is it really anti-men? I don’t think so. It’s just some good humored fun and really, even if it is, I would say, so what? We have had centuries and centuries of literature which is/ was misogynistic and degraded women in every which way. I mean Susan Gilbert and Sandra Gilbert even go on to say that the “pen is a metaphorical penis.” So, if we have one book which might be bashing men, why is the world suddenly up in arms? Please just sit down and try to feel how a woman feels when she is misrepresented.
Coming back to the content, it’s written well and will elicit a lot of laughter and chuckles. You will have a good time, I promise (provided you are not from the oh -god –this- is –male- bashing -brigade). There are twelve compatibility tests at the end and they are equally fun. I would definitely recommend this one. It is also accurate (as accurate as astrology can be) and of course goes on to show that the writers have done their research.
Go ahead and have some fun and bravo to Lang and Rajah! I thoroughly enjoyed it!
What a fun book! Had such a rollicking, rip-roaring, rumbustious ride with this one! I had seen a friend here on Goodreads read and give it a good rating and I was definitely intrigued by the title. I put it on my to-read shelf and then my best friend gifted it to me for my birthday! However, I finally got around to reading it now and I am so glad I did.
This book is for astrology lovers who enjoy satire, have a comedic bone and love humor. Lang and Rajah chart out the twelve zodiac signs and their characteristics. However, this manual is strictly for those who like men and want to see which zodiac sign they might be compatible.
I read several reviews on goodreads which dissed the book because it was making fun of men and was supposedly was written by anti-men writers. I disagree. This is a book which bashes men, yes. It makes fun of them, yes. But is it really anti-men? I don’t think so. It’s just some good humored fun and really, even if it is, I would say, so what? We have had centuries and centuries of literature which is/ was misogynistic and degraded women in every which way. I mean Susan Gilbert and Sandra Gilbert even go on to say that the “pen is a metaphorical penis.” So, if we have one book which might be bashing men, why is the world suddenly up in arms? Please just sit down and try to feel how a woman feels when she is misrepresented.
Coming back to the content, it’s written well and will elicit a lot of laughter and chuckles. You will have a good time, I promise (provided you are not from the oh -god –this- is –male- bashing -brigade). There are twelve compatibility tests at the end and they are equally fun. I would definitely recommend this one. It is also accurate (as accurate as astrology can be) and of course goes on to show that the writers have done their research.
Go ahead and have some fun and bravo to Lang and Rajah! I thoroughly enjoyed it!
September 7, 2017
I've had this book hanging around forever...it's obviously worse for wear, with soda or tea or unmentionable stains smearing the back cover and slurping onto the interior pages...yet I just can't make myself throw it away. It's that funny. Sometimes when you're feeling really down about your current amour, or you just want to remember why you broke up with someone years ago, it's like getting a hilarious and somewhat necessary tickle-wakeup slap that you didn't know you needed. I highly recommend it for those who like or need to laugh; expecially if that laughter needs to be at the expense of people who pissed you off. Make sure you know their sign, of course, before picking up the book!
November 8, 2012
So - I'm not going to pull any punches here. This is a terrible book. It's mean-spirited. If it's satire, it's not very funny. If you took the fictional, awful, hateful, stereotypical, man-hating, bitter feminist and asked for a book on astrology and why men suck, this is what you'd expect to get.
There are no positive sides of men in this book. None. It is completely one-sided. I think it's a terrible book to even have out there; things like this are what people point to and say "See? Feminists hate men!"
The chapters are organized as follows:
"The [sign] bastard" (3-4 page description that's painful to read)
"How to spot one" (2 sentence stereotype)
"Where to find one" (2 sentences)
"How to intrigue one" (short paragraph)
"The first date" (shorter paragraph)
"When to do the deed" (two sentences)
"When to pop the question" (never. It's always some version of never)
"If he dumps you" (two sentences saying you're better off)
"If you dump him" (two sentences also saying you're better off)
Don't waste money on this book.
There are no positive sides of men in this book. None. It is completely one-sided. I think it's a terrible book to even have out there; things like this are what people point to and say "See? Feminists hate men!"
The chapters are organized as follows:
"The [sign] bastard" (3-4 page description that's painful to read)
"How to spot one" (2 sentence stereotype)
"Where to find one" (2 sentences)
"How to intrigue one" (short paragraph)
"The first date" (shorter paragraph)
"When to do the deed" (two sentences)
"When to pop the question" (never. It's always some version of never)
"If he dumps you" (two sentences saying you're better off)
"If you dump him" (two sentences also saying you're better off)
Don't waste money on this book.
February 13, 2019
a very quick read, I've always been drawn to the dark side of the zodiacs. its intriguing and absolutely hilariously written in this book. the quizzes at the end are quite cheesy so I didnt really pay much attention to them but I laughed out loud many many times reading this book. theres alot of truth in it. loved it.
September 12, 2008
Sadly describes to a tee every boyfriend I've ever had ... and have yet to have, apparently. You'll find every guy in here .. and a little compatibility test at the end, because after all, you do have to choose one of these bastards. :)
Kicked ass.
Kicked ass.
March 13, 2009
OK - my friend Nina left this at my apt years ago when she moved back to UK and i found it recently in one of the boxes so read it on a few subway rides.... Hilarious and poking fun but randomly quite spot on!!!! No offense to my male friends.. i love you for you and your star sign!!!!!!!!!
June 7, 2007
If you only read one cheeky book about astrological signs then make it this one. Linda Goodman be DAMNED. This is the moneyshot. This is exactly the kind of sun sign information we need to know.
August 28, 2007
totally true
June 22, 2023
Navigating dating in this universe of goddesses and bastards.
Deadset one of the best books I have ever owned. And accurate. I once *didn't* date a Gemini bastard, and it went exactly as Adele and Susi had expected.
Obviously I would drink with any star sign. There's a few preferences but It wouldn't get in the way.
Deadset one of the best books I have ever owned. And accurate. I once *didn't* date a Gemini bastard, and it went exactly as Adele and Susi had expected.
Obviously I would drink with any star sign. There's a few preferences but It wouldn't get in the way.
January 4, 2020
😂🤣😂 #hilarious book on horoscopes. It was pretty silly and outlandish most of the time...with one exception. The Scorpio chapter was...very much...well, a bullseye. At least for Scorpio male I’ve come across. If not for this book, well...let’s just say it was a lifesaver 😇 amusing, to boot.
👐✨✌️
-b. 🐝
👐✨✌️
-b. 🐝
March 24, 2020
The book provides very narrow knowledge about horoscope that you can easily find everywhere on the internet.
The only highlight is the writing style. It has some sense of humor. However, the style and examples are very American. It cannot fully understood from different cultures.
The only highlight is the writing style. It has some sense of humor. However, the style and examples are very American. It cannot fully understood from different cultures.
May 21, 2017
Amusing read.
August 17, 2017
Hilarious.
January 19, 2018
This book was HILARIOUS! And the best part is, no star sign was spared from the humorous observations of the authors. I was still laughing long after I'd read the last page. Definitely a good read.
March 29, 2018
A very funny breakdown of the worst qualities of each star sign. Even if you don't believe in astrology, this book is a fun romp for any relationship cynics or people who are tired of men. ;)
February 4, 2020
I thought this was funny and completely accurate. I always read it when I have a new crush to see about his sign.
Want to read
July 13, 2021Decided not to read this, i don't believe astrology should assault a particular gender.
March 17, 2023
okay so this is my moby dick
July 24, 2023
A humorous look at astrology.
December 15, 2023
Made me laugh, but also stressed me out because it named all the things I've been afraid of regarding my Pisces flame.
March 18, 2022
Sis is bitter. I am a student of astrology and have read countless books on signs, placements, planets, aspects, etc. this is so narrow minded and it was cringe-y to read.
October 3, 2016
I appreciate the fact that this book is written for us women.
However, based on my experience, I think it tells about 50% off the guys.
It is fun book to read anyway.
However, based on my experience, I think it tells about 50% off the guys.
It is fun book to read anyway.
August 7, 2016
Well just back up a second sista and pick up this book to get you out of the cloudy lala land of Horoscopes and into a clean and mean dose of reality, because sometimes when you wish upon the stars, you get more than what you bargain for.
Finding this book in a book shop in Saigon I went from a moment of meh-ness to laughing my head off. Having left my Cancer, mummy's boy, boyfriend the day before I actually was killing myself with laughter after reading the cancer chapter! It's as if they wrote it about him!
I read all the star signs, had me giggling the whole way through and reflecting on the other poor sods I had dated! I couldn't resist sharing parts with my grrrlfriends either who were also in stitches! Oh yes and the Aquarius section actually was spot on about me too, even if I am a chick!
If you're confused about what starsign male is best for you you can even do some quizzes at the end.
Lang and Rajah have it all covered here. Yes it may be mallace, yes it may push your feminist values and yes you may think star signs are all a big wash of horse poo but trust me... there is something for everyone in this book. Guaranteed to change your heartbreak / lonely / desperate/ whatever tears into tears of laughter!
Finding this book in a book shop in Saigon I went from a moment of meh-ness to laughing my head off. Having left my Cancer, mummy's boy, boyfriend the day before I actually was killing myself with laughter after reading the cancer chapter! It's as if they wrote it about him!
I read all the star signs, had me giggling the whole way through and reflecting on the other poor sods I had dated! I couldn't resist sharing parts with my grrrlfriends either who were also in stitches! Oh yes and the Aquarius section actually was spot on about me too, even if I am a chick!
If you're confused about what starsign male is best for you you can even do some quizzes at the end.
Lang and Rajah have it all covered here. Yes it may be mallace, yes it may push your feminist values and yes you may think star signs are all a big wash of horse poo but trust me... there is something for everyone in this book. Guaranteed to change your heartbreak / lonely / desperate/ whatever tears into tears of laughter!
July 20, 2012
This book was really quite funny. I guess you can find the bad in anybody and this book does just that. A good fast read and the author keeps you laughing if you're a woman that is. There is good and bad in every sign but this book is about men, so ladies if you want a good laugh this is the book for you.
April 29, 2010
This book is absoluely ridiculous, and yet at the same time it contains tidbits of truth. I absolutely love the quizzes at the end--the questions are so bizarre and hilarious. The quizzes did tell me that I'm most compatible with my own star sign--is it the same for anybody else?
Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews