Luckiest Guy Alive

by John Cooper Clarke

The Luckiest Guy Alive is the first new book of poetry from Dr. John Cooper Clarke for several decades3and a brilliant, scabrous, hilarious collection from one of our most beloved and influential writers and performers. From the "Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman" to a hymn to the seductive properties of the pie—by way of hand-grenade haikus, machine-gun ballads and a meditation on the loss of Bono’s leather pants— The Luckiest Guy Alive collects stunning set pieces, tried-and-tested audience favorites and brand new poems to show Cooper Clarke still effortlessly at the top of his game. Cooper Clarke’s status as the "Emperor of Punk Poetry" is certainly confirmed here, but so is his reputation as a brilliant versifier, a poet of vicious wit and a razor-sharp social satirist. Effortlessly immediate and contemporary, full of hard-won wisdom and expert blindsidings, it’s easy to see why the good Doctor has continued to inspire several new generations of performers from Alex Turner to Plan The Luckiest Guy Alive shows one of the most compelling poets of the age on truly exceptional form.

Genres: Poetry, Fiction, Audiobook, Humor, British Literature, Music

Audio CD

First published January 1, 2018

About the author

John Cooper Clarke (born 25 January 1949) is an English performance poet who first became famous during the punk rock era of the late 1970s when he became known as a "punk poet". He released several albums in the late 1970s and early 1980s, and continues to perform regularly.

Reviews

[Nigeyb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was riveted by John Cooper Clarke's 2020 memoir I Wanna Be Yours. I went for the audiobook version which is sublime. I could listen to John Cooper Clarke read the telephone directory. To hear the great man read his hugely entertaining autobiography was a rare treat.

So it was that I acquired the audiobook of The Luckiest Guy Alive (2018), a collection of his wonderful poetry. A total delight as you would expect. Clever, funny, offensive, charming, poignant, and powerful. Poetry we can all get behind.

In the unlikely event you haven't yet read I Wanna Be Yours then put that right ASAP.

5/5

[Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

A slim volume of poetry from an elder stateman of alternative culture - how can JCC be 73? Full of staccato verse, vim, malleability of language and with barbed humour in abundance.

Sideways glances on existence from a man who has lived a very interesting life. By all acounts JCC single handedly kept Pablo Escobar in hippos (I jest)

The bard of Salford does not disappoint - except in one regard, how does he manage to stay pencil thin whilst the rest of us balloon? Just not fair

Read this book with your best Mancunian nasal whine

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Somewhat disappointing, I'm afraid. Would certainly be better as an audiobook, or better yet a live performance, however, on the page, the Bard of Salford failed to maintain interest. There were a couple of verbal flourishes which hit the mark, but also, if I'm not mistaken, there was a whiff of both homophobia ("Your Metrosexual Ex") and transphobia ("Crossing the Floor"). I'd hope to be mistaken about Clarke's intent in those poems, but the others didn't take away the bad taste of those two.

[Ross Jeffery · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man’s a genius - laughed my way through this collection of his poetry, just a joyous time reading.

Long live the Punk Poet!

Discover it for yourself, you won’t regret the lightheartedness this brings you!

[Louise Bath · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sprightly 4.5.

I didn't feel I could award this collection of poems the full 5 stars because it wasn't like reviewing Ten Years In An Open Necked Shirt, which had poems I already knew; it's much harder to be as generous to a book of poems that were all new to me.

The book's cover illustration is by Sir Peter Blake, which seems hugely appropriate, given that Blake is probably best known as the designer for the cover of The Beatles' album Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Admired by Sir Paul McCartney and an influence on acts like Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys and Plan B, more than ever JCC's new collection of poems have the kind of structure, word play and rhythms of rock songs - even rap. I'm surprised that no one, to my knowledge, *has* ever set any of JCC's poems to music: I bet Alex Turner could do it, for one.

I found some of the poems harder to warm to than others, but it's clear that JCC's style has grown more deceptively simple and more intricately complex - and some lines did make me laugh out loud. My favourite poems include Attack of the 50ft Woman, 21 Gun Salute Suit, Bongo's Trousers (a true tale about Bono), I've Fallen In Love With My Wife, Psychedelicate, and The Hanging Gardens of Basildon. I especially liked The Man Who Didn't Love Elvis, Outrage On The Out (not least for its reference to Porridge's Genial Harry Grout), and I Wrote The Songs, with its mangled song titles and this magnificent verse:

"You ain't nothing but a hedgehog
Foraging all the time
You ain't nothing but a hedgehog
Foraging all the time
You ain't never pricked a predator
You ain't no porcupine"

Crossing The Floor, another particular favourite, is more contentious. It caused one Goodreads reviewer to become so enraged that he decided he'd sooner put the book in the bin rather than donate it to a charity shop, where at least it would have done some good. The reviewer condemns the poem as offensively transphobic, but imo he completely misses the point. In his typically mordant style, JCC tells the story of a man who's just fed up with being a man and doing 'man' things, and wants to dress as a woman instead - but he doesn't sound 100% committed, and he's very realistic:

"I'm trapped in a man's body
I feel like Madonna but I look like Bill Oddie
I feel like The Shirelles but I look like Showaddywaddy...
I'm unhappy and that's against the law."

It would be a shame if readers refused to give this book a chance on the strength of 1 poem out of a total of 47.

[Ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

would recommend !

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love John Cooper Clarke and this collection did not disappoint. His poetry still has the tongue-in-cheek, punk vibe of his early work but his work has become very more self-conscious about ageing and changing times. I would love to do an essay on this poetry collection in comparison to Ten Years in an Open-Necked shirt.

[Chris Roberts · Rating 1 out of 5]

Poets engaged in state of being and or conscious conflagration,
realize they are oxygenated cliches and attempt and fail,
to make the reader shed a single, beautiful tear.

#poem

Chris Roberts, God Suddenly

[Bożek · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Well fuck me" Gordon Ramsay meme seems appropriate

[Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's the Bard of Salford never at a loss for words like a flipping wild parrot sold wholesale at Harrod's spewing powerful lines and verse magnetic like a bullet-bra'd nurse, chock full o' nutcrackers here, like Get Back On Drugs You Fat Fuck for all the disappointed JCC fans, Beasley Boulevard about gentrification, blasting Hawaiian shirts (only Elvis looks good in one, true that), The Man Who Didn't Love Elvis, a love poem about Pies (hear here), and beaucoups poems about cars. Dunno if Dr. Clarke even drives but trust him, he's a Doctor.

[Jaz · Rating 5 out of 5]

He's not quite the same in print, I think... I much prefer the audio CD of this collection, read by the man himself.

[Pete daPixie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The bard of Salford rides again. 'The Luckiest Guy Alive' contains forty pieces of wordery, of 2018 vintage. Is it really over forty years since I listened to J.C.C. on stage at Manchester's Art College. Nothing has changed. The '66 psychedelia look still remains, the drainpipes, the cuban heels and the shades, even though the hair is getting thin. The nine syllable lines continue to poke in the ribs,
the luckiest guy alive don't tell fibs.

[Kirsty · Rating 5 out of 5]

The trickster of poetry never disappoints and reminds us that poetry is real life and thus available to all and a form of such unlimited scope. Whether you like him or not he’s a poet that’s cool enough to get on the TV and perform, poetry could do with more rockstars.

[Alarie]

John Cooper Clarke has been very popular in Great Britain for many decades as a performance poet. To me, he’s a bit closer to a standup comic who often slips into verse. I can laugh at poets George Bilgere, Billy Collins, and Al Ortolani, but Clarke’s humor just doesn’t click with me. It’s subjective. Watch him on YouTube and judge for yourself.

I did find some of Clarke's poems amusing. At times, he reminds me of “Weird Al” Yankovic, whom I enjoy more. I also enjoyed some of his more subtle moments. In “Six Haikus…in No Particular Order,” he arranges them as Nos. 6,2,3,4,5,1. Here are my favorites:

“No 6

Smarter men than I
have been total idiots
and I’ve met them all

No 1

To freeze the moment
in seventeen syllables
is very diffic”

I also enjoyed “I’ve Fallen in Love with My Wife,” written in 11 stanzas, most ending with the title. It begins,

“The doorbell used to say ding dong
But now it breaks out into song
If I’m forlorn it ain’t for long
Could I be wrong or have I
Fallen in love with my wife”

[Mike Jennings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great guy John Cooper Clarke, I remember him on TV in the 1970s looking very, very cool reading 'Kung fu International' and 'Beasley Street'. Kind of a frightening figure to a pre-pubescent lad but also exciting in a way I couldn't understand then.

This is a nice collection of poems. Check out his Desert Island Discs, too. Enlightening.

I remember seeing him interviewed on Australian TV, saying his hotel was so cheap he had to complain to the landlord. "It's about the roof of my room" he said. "What about it?" asked the landlord. "I'd like one" replied Mr CC. A working class hero.

[Jasmine Harrop · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not quite the same print but if you’ve been lucky enough to see him live and in full force his voice/rhythm is easy to recall. Navigating you through the pages nicely. On a whole some brilliant poems of his genre.

[Nina Dell'Amico · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious. I especially like ‘Get Back on the Drugs you Fat F***’ and of course ‘The Luckiest Guy Alive’. I saw Dr John Cooper Clarke perform at a theatre at Barrow-in-Furness in the UK. He’s a national gem and a brilliant creator.

[Tori Coulson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Started strong and started to flag a bit towards the end

Enjoyable quick read. I've always enjoyed his poems

[Christina]

”Anything could happen, but it hardly ever does”

[Oliver · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highlights for me include: Attack of the 50ft Woman, Shave Off, Hire Car, PC Gone Mad

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poetry is a hard ask for a lot of people, both in terms of writing it or reading it. Perhaps it's because the poet tries too hard to follow some arcane rules regarding stress, cadence, scanson etc. Perhaps it is because of the way we are taught (or in my case, teach) poetry, with the focus on trying to dissect the work to within an inch of its life, killing almost all pleasure from the experience. Plus, we are surrounded by verse and rhymes thanks to popular song and sundry other forms of poetic endeavour. To find poems that surprise you, that on the page can still echo with the voice of the poet, that have all the immediacy of the modern without disappearing up their own arse with symbolism or some other artifical constructs is a rare thing. John Cooper Clarke in 'The Luckiest Guy Alive' does all this, and more, in spades.

I will admit before I go any further that I have seen Clarke perform his poetry in person, and he has the gift of being a bloody funny and entertaining speaker. His whole package is designed to be the antithesis of the reclusive poet stuck in his garret scribbling out sonnets and elegies. He has the energy and delivery of a stand up comedian, the angular look of an eccentric uncle and the patter of a north of England cabaret act. This means that if you come to his published poems (as I have) with a previous audience with him you can hear his words leap of the page. The Mancunian accent rings true with every printed line.

What impresses me the most about his poetry, and by extension this book, is how artistic his artlessness is. Clarke writes with the same fervour as anyone who loves producing doggerel for the masses, but these works aren't just throwaway poems. He understands and applies the underpinning skills of a great poet. His sprung rhymes cascade down with unrelenting glee, and he can bring his unique poetic voice to themes big and small. "I've Fallen in Love with my Wife' is a most romantic paean to the ordinariness of marital life, whilst 'Bongo's Trousers' is a catchy piece of satirical poetry that definitely deflates the wankery of celebrities who try and lecture people about poverty and social justice. His 'Haiku No.1' should be taught to every student trying to wrap their head around the form and 'Pies' is (like so many of his other works) a masterpiece of technique with a big dash of humour.

Another reason why 'The Luckiest Guy Alive' is such an impressive collection of poems is that Clarke's language is both unique and universal. It is of his home, his nation, his time. Yet there is enough of a lingua franca about his poetic language that one doesn't have to worry about arcane and antique turns of phrase. He has produced verses that speak in an argot that enhances their effect, not modifying nor limiting their value.

As 'The Luckiest Guy Alive' is a very slender volume the potential reader can knock this book off in a very short amount of time. It also means that the reader can return to it again and again. I would also suggest that if one does wish to read this book then it will benefit greatly from the poems being read out loud. They are already alive on the pages, however its when you hear the rhythms, the rhymes, the alliteration, the similes that you really 'get' what John Cooper Clarke has achieved.

In conclusion, this is a brilliant book of poems by a poet who deserves all the praise he is given. Forget the punk poet sobriquet that he has been accorded; 'The Luckiest Guy Alive' shows that he is a smart and engaging artist for any age whose work demands to be read.

[Simon Sweetman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic new - overdue - collection from the best and most influential living pub-poet. Lots of fun, very clever, often funny, a tad silly, sometimes offensive. A man out of touch and in his own world. And we're all the better for it.

[Stefan Grieve · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading this book it's easy to recall the 'punk poets rat-atat-tatting speedy stylish vocal delivery if you have seen him on stage, and you could imagine the shared experience you would get from being in the audience soaking up the uproarious atmosphere. Not all of it transfers so perfectly to the page, although form and style are fine, the passion can still be felt, you miss John Cooper Clarke's verbal performance flourishes.

The poems can be witty and funny, but along with some bitterness and cynicism and a lot of crudes and foul language, so it's not to everyone's taste if you are not aware of the poet and you are just taking it off the shelf.
A lot of the poems are fun, if not profound, although they're mostly pretty sound (There, a little poem in a review for you, even had a rhyme)

There's not much wisdom to be gleaned here, but it is entertaining on the most part and for those not really into reading introspective or too involving poetry with an edge this is great, and I would encourage those that can to see him on stage if you like his stuff and you will find, if you have not already, why this 'punk poet' inspired generations of poet and set performances ablaze with new audiences. Evidently.

[Jeremy Blank · Rating 5 out of 5]

If a poet can’t explore the taboos and stereotypes so many folk embrace in celebrity millennial hipster metu times then who the fuck can? As the bard so eloquently spits ‘get back on drugs you fat fuck’ ‘ he should know, or was that Vanessa Redgrave, she knows :) I was in bits when he shifts to Essex or Cockney where he exposes the one dimensional characters who hide behind TOWIE cliches, but then he rips right through and deeper. He still has whatever it was. Brilliant as audio book. The Prole Poet of the People.

[Jan Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

What can I say?
Wonderful to read this much anticipated book of new poems from Doctor J C-C .
It’s a book to dip in and out of time and again just like the previous..

[CJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started out with a book by British poet John Cooper Clarke. I've seen Clarke several times as the Dictionary Corner guest on 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, and I always really enjoy him. It took me a while to get one of his books, though, since it seems that his focus is mostly in spoken word performance rather than published work. This turns out to make a lot of sense because his poetry absolutely BEGS to be read aloud. There is something about his word choices and the way he strings them together that I find extremely enticing.



The poem "21 Gun Salute Suit", for example--the sound of the line "A rather dissolute but not yet destitute suit" and the way those words work together, combined with the repetition of the "oot" sound throughout is fantastic. My cat was not as impressed with my renditions--I will admit that my attempts at Clarke's accent were a massive failure--but I found speaking the words out loud really enhanced my experience.

Not all the poems are as good as this, of course. There are one or two that read as mildly homophobic or transphobic (nothing outright, really, but I noticed regardless) and some that I maybe don't get because they're more specific to Britain. However, for the most part, I enjoyed this little book quite a lot. His sense of humor is biting and slightly dark, which suits me right down to the ground, and his way of playing with language is just...fun.

On the whole, I'd recommend this to anyone who enjoys modern poetry, though I'd also suggest searching out some recordings of him performing his own work as well since that's the way it's really meant to be consumed.

I'll end with one of his haikus:

No 1

To freeze the moment
In seventeen syllables
Is very diffic

[Brian-Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sublime. What a new time in recent times to add to his classics. Speaking of which, this is how I felt in 2014 when re-reading John's 10 Years...

If I'd written John Cooper Clarke (@official_jcc)'s Evidently Chicken Town, I'd be fucking ecstatic. Here's an homage, looking out at our cesspool world today.
It's Fucking class that fucking rhyme,
I fucking love it every fucking time.
It's Evidently a bigger fucking town,
With more fucking people feeling fucking down.
Was fucking true then and fucking still today,
The fucking world is still fucking grey.
The fucking world is on its fucking ass,
Fucking shafting the fucking working class.
There's fucking war and no fucking food,
The fucking rich, they still do fucking good.
They'll fucking steal the fucking oil,
Up out from foreign fucking soil.
The fucking plebs will fucking toil,
Starving in their mortal fucking coil.
The rich they'll feed their fucking mates,
They'll fucking feast, the rest will fucking scrape.
There's a fucking Health Service being fucking sucked,
Of resources like bones being fucking plucked.
There's fucking homeless freezing to fucking death,
Whilst fucking toffs fucking puff their chests.
There's fucking babies with no fucking clothes,
But there's still fucking MP's in silk fucking robes.
There's fucking bombs and fucking disease,
The fucking leaders take no fucking heed.
The fucking leaders are fucking cunts,
Their pig-fucking-faces and pig-fucking grunts.

(BP Crawford, Belfast, January 2014)

[A F · Rating 4 out of 5]

The humor in all this. You can't help but love it. I blew through the collection in one sitting, couldn't put it down. That's its strength. Such pacing. Such laughs. I found all the poems charming and full of unforced wit and music. My only knock against the book, and it's a small one because I'm still a fan and always will be, is that in this age of hip hop and rap, any poems that rhyme come across as relics imprisoned inside a straight jacket, vestiges from a time gone by. Put to music, of course, they'd all be wonderful songs. Having said all this, I believe Dr. Clarke -- given his age, his status in UK pop culture, his stamina and the fact that he writes what some cruel poettasters might deride as jingles -- has outlasted his detractors and remains, indeed, as lucky as his title suggests.

[Ksenia · Rating 4 out of 5]

i just saw this legend on stage in lucerne a couple of days ago, on friday, 25. october 2024. his body was frail but his spirits high. cooper clarke is a poetry legend and many of his poems resonate with me but sonetimes i find it boring how similar their style is and the fact that cooper clarke likes to repeat the key phrase of each poem at the end of the poem. some poem's don't resonate with me at all, but i do like cooper clarke's wildness and creativity when it comes to the metre and word choice.

[Arlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is hilarious. I've never listened to a poetry audiobook before (I've always preferred reading poetry on the page), but obviously John Cooper Clarke is a master of performance and his deadpan delivery is the best way to read his poetry. The language is neither PC nor suitable for work/family friendly - Crossing The Floor made me wince, but Pies and Get Back On The Drugs You Fat Fuck made me laugh out loud. Great dry, vicious wit.