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236 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1968
So darned easy to plot that - and always at the last moment - one is afraid. Or cheats oneself with hope.[from 'Vienne']
...there is peace in despair in exactly the same way as there is despair in peace.
...you can't die and come to life again for a few hundred francs. It takes more than that. It takes more, perhaps, than anybody is ever willing to give.
Shall I tell her that in spite of everything they did I died then? Shall I tell her what it feels like to be dead? It's not being sad, it's quite different. It's being nothing, feeling nothing. (...) it's like walking along a road in a fog, knowing that you have left everything behind you. But you don't want to go back; you've got to go on.
But are you telling me the real secret, how to be exactly like everybody else? Tell me, for I am sure you know. If it means being deaf, then I'll be deaf. And if it means being blind, then I'll be blind.