What do you think?
Rate this book
Danza o muori
«Sono nato circondato dall'amore, ma poi mi sono trovato immerso nel buio. Finché non ho ritrovato la luce dentro di la danza.» È così che Ahmad Joudeh racconta la sua la storia drammatica ed esemplare di chi, fin da giovanissimo, si è trovato a lottare contro tutto e tutti pur di coronare il suo sogno. Dopo un'infanzia felice vissuta a Yarmouk, in Siria, la scoperta di una crescente passione per la danza è un richiamo a cui Ahmad sente di non potersi sottrarre. Ma non è semplice diventare un ballerino se vivi in una delle periferie più difficili di Damasco, e se tuo padre si oppone categoricamente a tutto ciò che non ritiene abbastanza "virile" e tradizionale per i suoi figli maschi. Iniziano così anni cupi, fatti di fughe per correre di nascosto ai corsi di danza, di momenti di solitudine e di litigi tremendi che degenerano nella violenza fisica. E poi, la straziante guerra civile, che fa sprofondare nel buio un paese intero. Ma la vocazione di Ahmad per il ballo è una luce che nulla può neanche i bombardamenti, neanche le minacce dei fondamentalisti, neanche il terrore. Non solo Ahmad continua a danzare, ma insegna a farlo ai bambini di Damasco. Ed è grazie alla danza e alla propria determinazione che Ahmad ha potuto cominciare una nuova vita in Europa, arrivando a realizzare il sogno di esibirsi in un passo a due con il suo idolo di sempre, Roberto Bolle. Dopo aver superato, a nemmeno trent'anni, ostacoli inimmaginabili, Ahmad racconta per la prima volta la sua storia in questo libro lucido e toccante, pieno di forza e di speranza, che cattura il lettore e non lo lascia fino all'ultima parola. «Quella di Ahmad è una storia che tocca il cuore e fa comprendere l'importanza di avere un sogno, di crederci fermamente e lottare affinché diventi realtà» - Roberto Bolle «La storia di Ahmad Joudeh - fatta di dolore e felicità, dramma e gioia, guerra e pace, sogni e realtà - è una storia di speranza.» - la Repubblica «Una storia di coraggio e determinazione» - Corriere di Novara «Una storia d'amore che ha sconfitto tutto» - Donna Moderna «Le pagine del libro raccontano in modo poetico la storia di un artista, toccando con delicatezza la problematica politica e le condizioni di un popolo travagliato dalla guerra» - NovaraOggi
209 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 6, 2018
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
July 12, 2021
I mainly read (mm) romances, but every now and then a book from another genre catches my eye. That's often a biography or a memoir. When I read the blurb of this book, and I had a chance of requesting it at Netgalley, I never doubted, and now I'm just thankful the publisher agreed to provide me an ARC of Ahmad Joudeh's memoir. If there is one thing I know for sure, it's that this is a story that will stay with me for a long time to come. Ahmad takes us on an amazing journey, one we can hardly imagine. The hardship, the horrors of war, the awful things he witnessed and what his eyes must have seen...And still, he never gave up. He had a dream, and he kept on chasing that dream, needing to believe that one day that dream would become reality.
Ahmad grows up in Syria, in Camp Yarmouk, where he lives as a stateless refugee. As a child he discovers the art of dancing. It will tear his family apart; his father doesn't approve, and so his mother takes Ahmad's side and helps him to go to dance class. Eventually it's one of the reasons his family breaks up. The other one is the war. Ahmad receives death threats if he doesn't stop dancing, but it's something he can never do. He even tattoos the words on his neck, on the exact place an executioner’s blade will decapitate him if he'll be caught by the extremists: Dance or Die. It's how he feels; he'd rather die than stop dancing. It's his life, his refuge, it's his art. The way he describes what dancing did (and does) to him, is just beautiful. It's freedom.
When he gets the chance to dance in the Arabian version of So You Think You Can Dance, he travels to Beirut to participate in the show, but (possibly) due to political reasons, he has to leave the show before he's able to reach the finals. He returns to Damascus, where he wants to finish his study.
A new chance for escape comes along when he posts a video of himself on youtube, dancing on the roof of a building in dangerous territory, surrounded by his enemies, the people who want to take his art away from him. It's as if he is challenging them, showing them his strength and his bravery. He'll never bow or bend for the people who tell him he is not allowed to dance anymore.
It offers him a new chance: a Dutch journalist saw his video and contacts him. Together they make a documentary ('Dance or Die') in Syria; Ahmad dances again in Yarmouk, he dances at the stage of the Roman Theater in Palmyra before IS destroys it. The documentary wins an Emmy award.
It's his gateway to freedom. A chance to follow his dream and dance.
With a student visa, Ahmad travels to Europe, to Amsterdam. It's a chance he takes, even when it means he has to leave his loved ones behind. Even though the change in culture is a shock for him, he manages to make a life for himself. He dances for the Dutch National Ballet, he dances in other cities around the world. He's made his dream come true by staying strong and never giving up hope. He's a true example of what faith can bring you, even though he must have had days he was ready to give up. Which is only human.
This is a story of strength, of determination and hope. Of bravery and faith. It's an incredible one and it's one that I won't forget.
The book tells Ahmad's journey from discovering his love to dance, to his new life in Amsterdam. It tells about the horrors of war, the family that was torn apart. But it also tells of how much he loved his life in Syria before the war took everything away, of the love he has for his mother and a very special friend. In between the lines you read about his grief, about his solitude, about his fears and also about the horrors his eyes have seen, even though it's not explicitly mentioned everywhere. But it's there and even though we all have seen the images of that war on TV, it's still unimaginable to think of what Ahmad really must have been through while living that every day life, where everything he once knew, was taken away from him. Gone.
I admire him for his strength and the courage he had to follow his dreams. He is a beautiful, unique dancer, and I hope the world will be able to watch him perform for a long time to come.
Highly recommended.
I was kindly given an ARC by Netgalley and the publisher Charlesbridge Imagine and this is my honest, unbiased review
Ahmad grows up in Syria, in Camp Yarmouk, where he lives as a stateless refugee. As a child he discovers the art of dancing. It will tear his family apart; his father doesn't approve, and so his mother takes Ahmad's side and helps him to go to dance class. Eventually it's one of the reasons his family breaks up. The other one is the war. Ahmad receives death threats if he doesn't stop dancing, but it's something he can never do. He even tattoos the words on his neck, on the exact place an executioner’s blade will decapitate him if he'll be caught by the extremists: Dance or Die. It's how he feels; he'd rather die than stop dancing. It's his life, his refuge, it's his art. The way he describes what dancing did (and does) to him, is just beautiful. It's freedom.
When he gets the chance to dance in the Arabian version of So You Think You Can Dance, he travels to Beirut to participate in the show, but (possibly) due to political reasons, he has to leave the show before he's able to reach the finals. He returns to Damascus, where he wants to finish his study.
A new chance for escape comes along when he posts a video of himself on youtube, dancing on the roof of a building in dangerous territory, surrounded by his enemies, the people who want to take his art away from him. It's as if he is challenging them, showing them his strength and his bravery. He'll never bow or bend for the people who tell him he is not allowed to dance anymore.
It offers him a new chance: a Dutch journalist saw his video and contacts him. Together they make a documentary ('Dance or Die') in Syria; Ahmad dances again in Yarmouk, he dances at the stage of the Roman Theater in Palmyra before IS destroys it. The documentary wins an Emmy award.
It's his gateway to freedom. A chance to follow his dream and dance.
With a student visa, Ahmad travels to Europe, to Amsterdam. It's a chance he takes, even when it means he has to leave his loved ones behind. Even though the change in culture is a shock for him, he manages to make a life for himself. He dances for the Dutch National Ballet, he dances in other cities around the world. He's made his dream come true by staying strong and never giving up hope. He's a true example of what faith can bring you, even though he must have had days he was ready to give up. Which is only human.
This is a story of strength, of determination and hope. Of bravery and faith. It's an incredible one and it's one that I won't forget.
The book tells Ahmad's journey from discovering his love to dance, to his new life in Amsterdam. It tells about the horrors of war, the family that was torn apart. But it also tells of how much he loved his life in Syria before the war took everything away, of the love he has for his mother and a very special friend. In between the lines you read about his grief, about his solitude, about his fears and also about the horrors his eyes have seen, even though it's not explicitly mentioned everywhere. But it's there and even though we all have seen the images of that war on TV, it's still unimaginable to think of what Ahmad really must have been through while living that every day life, where everything he once knew, was taken away from him. Gone.
I admire him for his strength and the courage he had to follow his dreams. He is a beautiful, unique dancer, and I hope the world will be able to watch him perform for a long time to come.
Highly recommended.
I was kindly given an ARC by Netgalley and the publisher Charlesbridge Imagine and this is my honest, unbiased review
September 6, 2025
Vulnerable, brave, and lovely.
I just wanted more details about the dance part!
I just wanted more details about the dance part!
September 13, 2019
Avrei preferito che il contesto politico della guerra in Siria fosse descritto con un po' più di precisione a cornice della testimonianza autobiografica, ma la storia di questo ballerino pieno di coraggio è comunque un simbolo di resistenza molto potente.
February 6, 2022
Being sheltered and fortunate, I can't even imagine Ahmad's life in Syria and life for all those trying to survive in war zones. Such an inspirational and heartbreaking story to keep losing your home and people you love and to keep living and dancing. To Follow your dream despite so many obstacles. A message about the trauma of conflict and the desire to just be able to live ones life in peace.
October 26, 2021
Finished in one night. Captivating, heart wrenching… not just about a young man’s fight to realize his dreams (that would be interesting in itself) but for making you “feel” the war that goes on in Syria. Kudos to Ahmad’s mom too, finally a sung hero, she must be an extraordinary woman, her story deserving her own book.
More expert editing wouldn’t have harmed the book and I have some questions left, but all in all it was a very inspiring read.
More expert editing wouldn’t have harmed the book and I have some questions left, but all in all it was a very inspiring read.
January 1, 2019
3 stelle e mezzo
La prima volta che mi sono imbattuta nella storia di Ahmad è stato per caso. Ero sulla pagina del Circolo dei Lettori in cerca di un evento a cui partecipare e, tra tutti, mi ha colpito la sua presentazione. Non avevo mai sentito parlare nè di Ahmad nè del suo libro, non sapevo e non so nulla di danza, non avevo in apparenza nessun motivo per interessarmi alla sua storia. Eppure in poche righe ho sentito crescere dentro di me un sentimento a cui solo ora, a libro concluso, riesco a dare un nome: si trattava di una pura forma di solidarietà. E in un attimo volevo saperne di più.
Così, come spesso accade, ho iniziato a leggere Danza o muori carica di aspettative. Il mio desiderio era quello di conoscere meglio un paese così lontano e diverso dal nostro, attraverso gli occhi di chi quel paese l'aveva chiamato casa per tutta la vita. Il mio desiderio era quello di trovare la testimonianza di un uomo che aveva fatto della danza la sua vita e il racconto di come proprio la danza, emblema di coraggio e passione, simbolo di un sentimento tanto profondo da vincere sulle oscenità della guerra, l'avesse salvato. Ma questo desiderio è stato soddisfatto solo in parte.
Non nego che Danza o muori sia una storia di speranza, di forza, di coraggio, di amore, di passione, di caparbietà, di bisogno. Non nego sia una storia di paura, di atrocità, di sangue, di spari e di guerra. Ci sono state parti che mi hanno sconcertato, altre che mi hanno commosso, ci sono state scene che mi hanno segnato, altre che mi hanno spaventato. Racconti incredibili, allucinanti, surreali. Eppure, solo in pochi punti questo romanzo è stato capace di emozionarmi.
Sono tanti gli elementi che rendono un libro bello. L'intenzione, spesso, non basta. Il difetto più grosso che ho riscontrato sono stati i continui salti temporali. Un tipo di narrazione che io non riesco in alcun modo a digerire. Capite che diventa difficile riuscire a ricostruire la storia di un uomo quando si salta da un'età all'altra, e un po' si va avanti e un po' si torna indietro, senza riuscire a tenerne in mano il filo logico e cronologico. È tutto un "ma questo è successo prima o dopo della scena precedente?", "Aspetta... ma quanto tempo è passato dal fatto a cui si riferisce?", "Scusa, ma che età aveva quando è successo?". Caos, confusione, disordine. Una linearità ingenuamente distrutta.
Il secondo elemento negativo si basa sulla continua impressione che mancasse qualcosa. Questo perchè più leggevo le parole di Ahmad, più avevo la sensazione che si stesse esponendo solo a livello superficiale, tacendo gli aspetti più bui e dolorosi. Troppi pezzi mancanti, troppi cambi bruschi di capitoli, troppi ricordi accennati e non approfonditi. Posso solo immaginare quanto sia stato difficile per Ahmad raccontarsi al mondo, ma ciò non toglie che Danza o muori sia un libro e come tale ritengo sia mio dovere analizzarlo criticamente.
Date tutte queste premesse vi starete chiedendo se vi consiglio di leggerlo. Ovviamente sì, non posso rispondere altrimenti. Sì, sì, sì. Ed è un sì gridato a gran voce perchè, nonostante tutti gli elementi narrativi che possono non essermi piaciuti, questo libro vi sprona a diventare più consapevoli. E questa è una magia che non può essere ignorata. Leggetelo perchè vi arricchirà. E poi partite da lì per continuare ad esplorare e approfondire il mondo.
La prima volta che mi sono imbattuta nella storia di Ahmad è stato per caso. Ero sulla pagina del Circolo dei Lettori in cerca di un evento a cui partecipare e, tra tutti, mi ha colpito la sua presentazione. Non avevo mai sentito parlare nè di Ahmad nè del suo libro, non sapevo e non so nulla di danza, non avevo in apparenza nessun motivo per interessarmi alla sua storia. Eppure in poche righe ho sentito crescere dentro di me un sentimento a cui solo ora, a libro concluso, riesco a dare un nome: si trattava di una pura forma di solidarietà. E in un attimo volevo saperne di più.
Così, come spesso accade, ho iniziato a leggere Danza o muori carica di aspettative. Il mio desiderio era quello di conoscere meglio un paese così lontano e diverso dal nostro, attraverso gli occhi di chi quel paese l'aveva chiamato casa per tutta la vita. Il mio desiderio era quello di trovare la testimonianza di un uomo che aveva fatto della danza la sua vita e il racconto di come proprio la danza, emblema di coraggio e passione, simbolo di un sentimento tanto profondo da vincere sulle oscenità della guerra, l'avesse salvato. Ma questo desiderio è stato soddisfatto solo in parte.
Non nego che Danza o muori sia una storia di speranza, di forza, di coraggio, di amore, di passione, di caparbietà, di bisogno. Non nego sia una storia di paura, di atrocità, di sangue, di spari e di guerra. Ci sono state parti che mi hanno sconcertato, altre che mi hanno commosso, ci sono state scene che mi hanno segnato, altre che mi hanno spaventato. Racconti incredibili, allucinanti, surreali. Eppure, solo in pochi punti questo romanzo è stato capace di emozionarmi.
Sono tanti gli elementi che rendono un libro bello. L'intenzione, spesso, non basta. Il difetto più grosso che ho riscontrato sono stati i continui salti temporali. Un tipo di narrazione che io non riesco in alcun modo a digerire. Capite che diventa difficile riuscire a ricostruire la storia di un uomo quando si salta da un'età all'altra, e un po' si va avanti e un po' si torna indietro, senza riuscire a tenerne in mano il filo logico e cronologico. È tutto un "ma questo è successo prima o dopo della scena precedente?", "Aspetta... ma quanto tempo è passato dal fatto a cui si riferisce?", "Scusa, ma che età aveva quando è successo?". Caos, confusione, disordine. Una linearità ingenuamente distrutta.
Il secondo elemento negativo si basa sulla continua impressione che mancasse qualcosa. Questo perchè più leggevo le parole di Ahmad, più avevo la sensazione che si stesse esponendo solo a livello superficiale, tacendo gli aspetti più bui e dolorosi. Troppi pezzi mancanti, troppi cambi bruschi di capitoli, troppi ricordi accennati e non approfonditi. Posso solo immaginare quanto sia stato difficile per Ahmad raccontarsi al mondo, ma ciò non toglie che Danza o muori sia un libro e come tale ritengo sia mio dovere analizzarlo criticamente.
Date tutte queste premesse vi starete chiedendo se vi consiglio di leggerlo. Ovviamente sì, non posso rispondere altrimenti. Sì, sì, sì. Ed è un sì gridato a gran voce perchè, nonostante tutti gli elementi narrativi che possono non essermi piaciuti, questo libro vi sprona a diventare più consapevoli. E questa è una magia che non può essere ignorata. Leggetelo perchè vi arricchirà. E poi partite da lì per continuare ad esplorare e approfondire il mondo.
Want to Read
April 26, 2021Note: I received a digital review copy of this book from the publisher.
September 30, 2021
3.5 stars.
I love dance books, and often find them a source of luminous prose and inspiration. Couple this with the true story of a stateless ballet dancer who grew up and performed in war-torn Syria, and who is active in dancing and advocating for peace and for the rights of refugees worldwide, and I absolutely had to read this memoir.
On those two subjects -- the joy and power of dance, and the plight of those displaced by war -- Dance Or Die succeeds tremendously. Ahmad Joudeh is at his most eloquent when describing his need to dance, how it compels him and how it makes him feel, how it serves as a refuge from all the ugliness going on around him. His prose is so lovely, it made me want to get up out of my seat and flex my own muscles and training. His writing is also evocative for its simplicity, in contrast, in stating the plight of his family, made stateless first by the annexation of Palestine, then by chauvinist citizenship laws in Syria. The absolute injustice that subjects people born without the correct set of papers to lives of fear and deprivation is a shocking scandal globally, and part of why I'm so firmly for open borders.
Alas then that this book is so infuriatingly vague on so many other subjects. The narrative is in strict keeping with the official story, tho even then, I felt like I gleaned more insight into what he's really like by watching his So You Think You Can Dance Arabia video clips than I did here. The tone when discussing why his dad was so against him dancing, to the conflict in Syria, to the challenges he faced when competing on SYTYCD, all affected an "I'm too above this to explain" demeanor that really did a disservice to his story. Is it homophobia that causes the physical violence and death threats against his person? When he rebels against religion, is he saying "fuck you" to fundamentalists or to Islam as a whole? When he complains about facing racism from his fellow competitors, who are also primarily Arab, what exactly does this mean? Why is there not even the most rudimentary explanation of why war is tearing apart Syria?
Look, I'm not expecting a treatise on politics and culture in the Middle East here, but some scene setting would have been extremely helpful in understanding why people behaved the way they did around him, and what his personal feelings were besides "how does this affect my ability to dance?" It's a bizarre assumption that readers would automatically understand the context, and frankly promotes the bigoted "Arabs/Muslims are just too messy to understand" tropes. In someone from a background of greater privilege, this would have come across as hopelessly self-absorbed; as it is, Dance Or Die feels like it was written by someone so shell-shocked that they automatically shy away from exploring any conflict. Which is valid! All his opinions are valid, even the ones I disagree with! Like, I get why he urges immigrants to integrate, but there IS a difference between a melting pot and a salad bowl, and while the former might prove easier to digest, the latter is far healthier. But his lack of engagement with the issues, even if it's a self-protecting thing and a totally understandable defense mechanism, makes for writing that is less interesting than annoyingly fuzzy.
I so admire his courage as a dancer and performer, but I wish some of that had translated to his prose. Perhaps it's too much to ask for, at least at this point in time. While this is an important story, with some really great writing on dance and, in one of my favorite bits, a reflection on how the opposite of war isn't peace but creation, it's a memoir that lacks more than the usual level of critical self-reflection. Perhaps in another twenty or thirty years, he'll have had the life experience to be able to look back and really evaluate what's made him who he is. As it is, this book, published originally in the Italian when he was 28, works great as advocacy for the power of art and the plight of the stateless, but falls far short of where it needs to be as a satisfying, much less successful, memoir.
Dance Or Die by Ahmad Joudeh was published September 21 2021 by Charlesbridge Publishing and is available from all good booksellers, including Bookshop!
I love dance books, and often find them a source of luminous prose and inspiration. Couple this with the true story of a stateless ballet dancer who grew up and performed in war-torn Syria, and who is active in dancing and advocating for peace and for the rights of refugees worldwide, and I absolutely had to read this memoir.
On those two subjects -- the joy and power of dance, and the plight of those displaced by war -- Dance Or Die succeeds tremendously. Ahmad Joudeh is at his most eloquent when describing his need to dance, how it compels him and how it makes him feel, how it serves as a refuge from all the ugliness going on around him. His prose is so lovely, it made me want to get up out of my seat and flex my own muscles and training. His writing is also evocative for its simplicity, in contrast, in stating the plight of his family, made stateless first by the annexation of Palestine, then by chauvinist citizenship laws in Syria. The absolute injustice that subjects people born without the correct set of papers to lives of fear and deprivation is a shocking scandal globally, and part of why I'm so firmly for open borders.
Alas then that this book is so infuriatingly vague on so many other subjects. The narrative is in strict keeping with the official story, tho even then, I felt like I gleaned more insight into what he's really like by watching his So You Think You Can Dance Arabia video clips than I did here. The tone when discussing why his dad was so against him dancing, to the conflict in Syria, to the challenges he faced when competing on SYTYCD, all affected an "I'm too above this to explain" demeanor that really did a disservice to his story. Is it homophobia that causes the physical violence and death threats against his person? When he rebels against religion, is he saying "fuck you" to fundamentalists or to Islam as a whole? When he complains about facing racism from his fellow competitors, who are also primarily Arab, what exactly does this mean? Why is there not even the most rudimentary explanation of why war is tearing apart Syria?
Look, I'm not expecting a treatise on politics and culture in the Middle East here, but some scene setting would have been extremely helpful in understanding why people behaved the way they did around him, and what his personal feelings were besides "how does this affect my ability to dance?" It's a bizarre assumption that readers would automatically understand the context, and frankly promotes the bigoted "Arabs/Muslims are just too messy to understand" tropes. In someone from a background of greater privilege, this would have come across as hopelessly self-absorbed; as it is, Dance Or Die feels like it was written by someone so shell-shocked that they automatically shy away from exploring any conflict. Which is valid! All his opinions are valid, even the ones I disagree with! Like, I get why he urges immigrants to integrate, but there IS a difference between a melting pot and a salad bowl, and while the former might prove easier to digest, the latter is far healthier. But his lack of engagement with the issues, even if it's a self-protecting thing and a totally understandable defense mechanism, makes for writing that is less interesting than annoyingly fuzzy.
I so admire his courage as a dancer and performer, but I wish some of that had translated to his prose. Perhaps it's too much to ask for, at least at this point in time. While this is an important story, with some really great writing on dance and, in one of my favorite bits, a reflection on how the opposite of war isn't peace but creation, it's a memoir that lacks more than the usual level of critical self-reflection. Perhaps in another twenty or thirty years, he'll have had the life experience to be able to look back and really evaluate what's made him who he is. As it is, this book, published originally in the Italian when he was 28, works great as advocacy for the power of art and the plight of the stateless, but falls far short of where it needs to be as a satisfying, much less successful, memoir.
Dance Or Die by Ahmad Joudeh was published September 21 2021 by Charlesbridge Publishing and is available from all good booksellers, including Bookshop!
March 7, 2022
Dance or Die: From Stateless Refugee to International Ballet Star is a memoir of Ahmad Joudeh’s life. It was so inspiring and heartbreaking. I loved Ahmad’s mission for himself that he had since he was a child, but it was so sad to see all that he had to go through during the civil war in Syria.
It was so heartwarming to see Ahmad want peace in his life and then to watch him fall in love with ballet. I thought it was really inspiring how even as a child he had found ways to fight for peace, like how he had broken up a fight at a party by throwing water down on all the people.
There were so many things in this memoir that I had never considered. Things as small as the voice of a boy changing when they are growing up a singer and the fear that can cause. Also how when considering another language to speak in, many have to translate it in their minds first and then work on saying it. Also, the seclusion that can be felt after leaving a place where someone wasn’t free for most of their lives to a place where they are free, and how they can feel like they do not belong even if they more than do.
I loved how Ahmad describes many things, especially how he views dance as the spirit of dance and how it resides in people. I thought it was beautifully tragic how he stated when he was sad that his spirit had left him, and I thought it was lovely how he felt all the dancers in the theater he was dancing in from the past in one of his memories.
I absolutely adored him and his mom’s relationship from start to finish. I loved how she supported him no matter what, even if it was against what his dad wanted for him. I loved how she was always there for him and how they had promised that they would be there for each other no matter what, which they had.
The title to this memoir was perfect. I loved the meaning behind the tattoo on the back of his neck, which is the title of the memoir. I also loved that it was written in hindu for the dancing god. He gave himself two choices, either dance or die, because he felt like if he didn’t dance, that he would die, and he chose the placement on the back of his neck in case he was decapitated, so that whoever killed him would see it.
I cried so many times while reading this memoir. I cried during the horrifying times and the happy times because Ahmad worked so hard, kept his spirit in dance going, and got what he deserved. To come as far as he had with the only goal to show the world that they can create and have peace in dance and in arts is so amazing. Ahmad is incredibly caring and the spirit of dance is definitely inside of him. I hope he continues to go far and can help as many as he can to fill his heart.
It was so heartwarming to see Ahmad want peace in his life and then to watch him fall in love with ballet. I thought it was really inspiring how even as a child he had found ways to fight for peace, like how he had broken up a fight at a party by throwing water down on all the people.
There were so many things in this memoir that I had never considered. Things as small as the voice of a boy changing when they are growing up a singer and the fear that can cause. Also how when considering another language to speak in, many have to translate it in their minds first and then work on saying it. Also, the seclusion that can be felt after leaving a place where someone wasn’t free for most of their lives to a place where they are free, and how they can feel like they do not belong even if they more than do.
I loved how Ahmad describes many things, especially how he views dance as the spirit of dance and how it resides in people. I thought it was beautifully tragic how he stated when he was sad that his spirit had left him, and I thought it was lovely how he felt all the dancers in the theater he was dancing in from the past in one of his memories.
I absolutely adored him and his mom’s relationship from start to finish. I loved how she supported him no matter what, even if it was against what his dad wanted for him. I loved how she was always there for him and how they had promised that they would be there for each other no matter what, which they had.
The title to this memoir was perfect. I loved the meaning behind the tattoo on the back of his neck, which is the title of the memoir. I also loved that it was written in hindu for the dancing god. He gave himself two choices, either dance or die, because he felt like if he didn’t dance, that he would die, and he chose the placement on the back of his neck in case he was decapitated, so that whoever killed him would see it.
I cried so many times while reading this memoir. I cried during the horrifying times and the happy times because Ahmad worked so hard, kept his spirit in dance going, and got what he deserved. To come as far as he had with the only goal to show the world that they can create and have peace in dance and in arts is so amazing. Ahmad is incredibly caring and the spirit of dance is definitely inside of him. I hope he continues to go far and can help as many as he can to fill his heart.
Read
December 20, 2021I am glad I read this book and have learned a lot about the Syrians affected by ISIS terrorism was well as displaced Palestinians who had to then flee again, which was something I did not have an extensive background knowledge on previous. I also enjoyed learning more about what male dancers or other cultural artists may face in countries where gender norms and roles are still very heavily expected. I’m not sure if it had to do with the native languages of the author or his relative inexperience writing, but I found that the I couldn’t really connect emotionally with the writing. It wasn’t poorly written by any means, but there were many times where I just felt like I wanted more storytelling. As a dancer, I know the author can convey his stories and journeys on stage, but I feel there is room for growth in his sharing of stories in written form. That being said, I commend the author in bringing forth his story as it is one we can definitely learn from, especially when we take the peace and freedoms we have in our countries for granted. I am so appreciative of the published and netgalley for giving me the opportunity to read and review this book.
January 13, 2022
Beautiful, touching narrative... I loved this reading, I've been reading a lot of dancers' biographies lately, and I thought maybe this one will be another one about the life of a dancer in a company, the days of a professional dancer, like most of the books that I recently read. But this one, it's not about the life of a dancer, it's about the dancer in life so hard to imagine for someone like me that has everything: food, home, nationality, peace... So many things that we usually take for granted. This book was everything I didn't expect but I always look for. Stories with meaning, about dancers doing art for a cause, communicating, inspiring others, not only for dance but for living. The strength and commitment of Ahmad with his family, nation, and dance it's admirable. I truly recommend this book to anyone looking for a story of an artist using art as a tool to transform, to find the humanity and the meaning of life.
January 13, 2022
Beautiful, touching narrative... I loved this reading, I've been reading a lot of dancers' biographies lately, and I thought maybe this one will be another one about the life of a dancer in a company, the days of a professional dancer, like most of the books that I recently read. But this one, it's not about the life of a dancer, it's about the dancer in life so hard to imagine for someone like me that has everything: food, home, nationality, peace... So many things that we usually take for granted. This book was everything I didn't expect but I always look for. Stories with meaning, about dancers doing art for a cause, communicating, inspiring others, not only for dance but for living. The strength and commitment of Ahmad with his family, nation, and dance it's admirable. I truly recommend this book to anyone looking for a story of an artist using art as a tool to transform, to find the humanity and the meaning of life.
April 14, 2023
The title says it all in this amazing and inspiring memoir. Of course, the implications of being a "refugee" are that he has lost so much in his young life, lived in a war-torn country, watched people die, and struggled to keep his dream alive against the wishes of a dominating father, judgmental family members, personal threats, ISIS and others. Roberto Bolle, a professional Italian dancer who was Ahmad's constant inspiration, through YouTube, wrote the foreword that says it all: "A story that touches the heart and truly lets us understand the importance of having a dream, of believing in it solidly, and of fighting for it until that dream becomes a reality." That said, there seems to have been a lot of grace or luck or his deep belief, something surrounding him, protecting him at times, when strange things happened and he came through unscathed. It's easy reading, and it does touch the heart!
August 31, 2023
Ho versato molte lacrime leggendo la straordinaria storia di lotta e sopravvivenza di Ahmad, apolide e costretto a tollerare le disgrazie di guerre e conflitti decisi da altri ma che influenzano ugualmente le vite dei singoli.
Consiglio caldamente la lettura di questo libro e consiglio di consigliarlo in seguito.
Oltre a una lettura scorrevole e appassionante che mischia le vicende vissute da Ahmad fino ad oggi con il contesto del conflitto in Siria, il libro fornisce un esercizio di empatia che in un'Italia cosí sempre più terrorizzata del pericolo del migrante (alimentato assurdamente dai razzisti è fondamentale. Conoscere le storie di chi migra, di chi soffre ci ricorda che fondamentalmente siamo e rimaniamo dei privilegiati. E non dobbiamo e non possiamo odiare chi semplicemente cerca di vivere.
Ahmad alla fine del libro scrive "Perché io non voglio amare da morire ma vivere d'amore" ed è un consiglio che dovremmo tuttə cogliere in questa epoca di odio.
Consiglio caldamente la lettura di questo libro e consiglio di consigliarlo in seguito.
Oltre a una lettura scorrevole e appassionante che mischia le vicende vissute da Ahmad fino ad oggi con il contesto del conflitto in Siria, il libro fornisce un esercizio di empatia che in un'Italia cosí sempre più terrorizzata del pericolo del migrante (alimentato assurdamente dai razzisti è fondamentale. Conoscere le storie di chi migra, di chi soffre ci ricorda che fondamentalmente siamo e rimaniamo dei privilegiati. E non dobbiamo e non possiamo odiare chi semplicemente cerca di vivere.
Ahmad alla fine del libro scrive "Perché io non voglio amare da morire ma vivere d'amore" ed è un consiglio che dovremmo tuttə cogliere in questa epoca di odio.
December 29, 2023
Lyrical and deeply affecting, Ahmad Joudeh tells his incredible story in his own words, revealing his passion for dance and peace which drove him forward in life.
I picked this up from a library display, intrigued by the title and the short blurb about Joudeh's life. While it took me a while to start reading, I was hooked as soon as I started. Joudeh's story is difficult, and he does not hide the difficulties. But he is also careful to show the humanity of the people in his life, people whom Westerners often only know through tragic news reports. Even as he struggles with the fame and attention that comes his way, he reflects often on the higher purpose such fame can have. His values inform his actions and his love of dance informs his drive.
If you are looking for a good memoir, this is a great one to pick up.
I picked this up from a library display, intrigued by the title and the short blurb about Joudeh's life. While it took me a while to start reading, I was hooked as soon as I started. Joudeh's story is difficult, and he does not hide the difficulties. But he is also careful to show the humanity of the people in his life, people whom Westerners often only know through tragic news reports. Even as he struggles with the fame and attention that comes his way, he reflects often on the higher purpose such fame can have. His values inform his actions and his love of dance informs his drive.
If you are looking for a good memoir, this is a great one to pick up.
August 26, 2025
Moving account of Ahmad Joudeh's life from being a young boy born in Syria of Palestinian refugee families. His early memories include knowing the ripple on a drink is a sign of incoming airborne missiles. His father encouraged him and his brother to sing and play music. When his voice broke and he could no longer sing, he fled into dance as his other language. It probably saved his life or at least gave him a way out of the war zone.
The writing style is simple and straightforward but moving. Some aspects seem unlikely but if you've seen the documentary of Ahmad dancing - included in the 2025 NZ Doc Edge film festival - this is an amazing true story. His references to moments of panic when sounds trigger war zone memories are also sad but realistic notes for current news from Gaza and how children there must feel every day.
The writing style is simple and straightforward but moving. Some aspects seem unlikely but if you've seen the documentary of Ahmad dancing - included in the 2025 NZ Doc Edge film festival - this is an amazing true story. His references to moments of panic when sounds trigger war zone memories are also sad but realistic notes for current news from Gaza and how children there must feel every day.
August 13, 2020
Una prosa un po’ banale e una certa confusione narrativa nella mancata linearità del racconto sono i difetti di questa autobiografia che resta, però, fortissima e avvincente. È la storia di una passione viscerale, quella per la danza, che nasce dal profondo e offre al protagonista la determinazione per vivere di coraggio in un mondo dove vivere sembra impossibile. Non è un racconto del contesto bellico e politico siriano, ma proprio per questo ci rende da un lato la normalità di chi quelle situazioni le vive/subisce e dall’altro la nostra profonda ignoranza e grande bisogno di comprendere ciò che è altro da noi. Grazie Ahmad, perché questo racconto deve avere richiesto grande fatica. Faccio sempre il tifo per te.
December 17, 2022
Joudah’s memoir is lyrical and heartfelt when sharing his love of dance and all that he would do to reach his goals. He literally defies death, family and religion. A Palestinian-Syrian refugee he shares his experiences relative to the Syrian war; its horrors and the displacement of refugees. There is some confusion and vagueness surrounding familial issues and the war itself. His story is a powerful one.
September 17, 2024
Not my usual genre, but stories of survival intrigue and inspire me. Ahmad's sheer determination to become a professional dancer despite the mountains of obstacles thrown in his way is more than admirable...it is a testament to what a person can achieve if they set their heart and mind to it, despite the incredible odds.
No matter what environment one is born into, be it war, poverty, geographical location... grit and perseverance can overcome the seemingly impossible.
No matter what environment one is born into, be it war, poverty, geographical location... grit and perseverance can overcome the seemingly impossible.
August 24, 2021
Interesting memoir of a double refugee (from both Palestine and Syria) who became an international ballet star. His writing is a bit flowery for my taste, but the story itself was fascinating. Full review coming for Shelf Awareness.
December 21, 2021
Ahmad's journey is incredible from dancing during a war in Syria to dancing with the Dutch National Ballet. It was a privelage to read such an amazing story. I congratulate him for all he's done. As well as showing the world dance can be a light during disaster.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 20, 2024
Un libro travolgente e interessante, che mostra sprazzi di vita sotto la guerra e come la bellezza riesca a nascere e crescere anche nelle situazioni più difficili e disperate
Un inno alla danza e alla rinascita
Un inno alla danza e alla rinascita
July 28, 2024
Fantastic
March 14, 2025
4.5 ⭐️
June 1, 2025
powerful read. the many descriptions of war and despair hit hard amidst the current genocide. this book was a good reminder that art (dance) is resistance
February 9, 2026
Very humbling and inspiring!
July 2, 2024
Libro di veloce lettura. Ahmad racconta con molti dettagli la sua vita in Siria e come la danza l'abbia salvato dalla situazione drammatica siriana di questi ultimi anni. Per un amante della danza come me è stato davvero un bel libro.
Read
July 24, 2024I don’t usually read books like this but I had to read this one for English and it really put things into perspective for me
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews