Let it be known that I only picked up this book because it was free on Amazon kindle—and there’s a reason it’s free. If you genuinely liked this book, then cool. I'm glad that you were able to enjoy it, but I just... I couldn't...
I said it once and I would say it again: it writes as if a 13 year old wrote their first fanfic. There is unnecessary information and information the author added already. The switch back and forth between different perspectives of characters was so jarring that it took me time to adjust t how the author wrote it.
Let us start with the hero of the story: Jack Tyler. He is seen as this smart, strong, and heroic person. He lives far away from town in his own little cabin with a wolf. Alright. Okay, I can handle some stereotypes. Here’s what I don’t get: if Jack is so smart that he can solve problems magically, why the hell would he tell a total stranger who was going to kill him who Emily and Joseph were? I understand that he may not have known that this guy would have told everyone the story, but if the plan was to lay low about their alive status, why mention it at all? In fact, why would he use their real names at the hotel? The whole point of using fake names was so that no one would know that Emily and Joseph were alive. And don’t get me started on him magically guessing Emily’s name. I don’t care how good of names you are, I don’t buy it.
Or the amounts of gold he has stored in two different banks and in his house.
Emily Ann Ward Doyle, where do I start? A Irish woman who fell in love with a little boy and would do anything to make sure she could be his nanny, even sleep with an old man so that she could keep her job. Is it a little unnecessary? Yeah, but I guess we needed to see just how far Emily would go to take care of Joseph. The fact that she went on a dangerous hunting trip with him or risk losing her job wasn’t enough; my bad. We learned that she was a fire-y girl who couldn’t be tamed and didn’t want to be tamed. She wanted to be challenged, and I get that. What I found really unnecessary, more so than her needing to bed the old man, was the lost of her husband and her three children.
There’s drama and then there’s unnecessary drama; this book was a drama coated drama with drama fillings. Yeah, it’s a lot.
I have no comments on Joseph. He’s written as a kid since that’s exactly what he is. He does dangerous things and at that age, in that time, they always wanted to do dangerous things. Thanks for writing at least one believable character.
As someone who has been working on toning down my purple prose, I get it. Sometimes I still add too much information when all was needed was the bare minimum. But there was a lot of purple prose everywhere. It was hard to tell what parts were his strong point and which weren’t. It was all written to be too good to be true. Plus, there were spelling/grammar errors sprinkled here and there. I know writing isn’t perfect—I’m all too familiar with making mistakes with words and even my editor can’t catch them all, which is why we do multiple passes.
What else did I notice?
I refuse to believe that Jack easily cut up a hat while it’s in the air—what is this, an anime?
I’m cool with some drama in a courtroom, but it felt like Maury or Jerry Springer during this scene. And bullshit that the judge didn’t have an issue with how Jack acted.
Joseph not liking the idea of sex? I don’t know if it’s believable or if kids are like that, but it made me smile.
Out of all the sentences that were written, I dislike this one the most: Emily quickly said, “We’re going to be out in the corral,” then pirouetted and trotted out of the barn as Joseph ran to catch up.
Except for those spooky jars of gold in his ceiling. It’s gold, not teeth from the people he’s murdered. There’s nothing spooky about it, but I can chalk this sentence up to not knowing what a better word would be. I fall victim to this myself quite often.