Jagged Mind

by Taylor Saville

Is there any true deliverance for the depraved?
Does love change people?

These questions surround the life of Harper Nolan. The foul-mouthed, chain-smoking, self-destructive lead singer of the metal band known as Jagged Mind. Locked in a cycle of self-mutilation, violence, and alcohol abuse, the threads of his life slowly begin to unravel, much to the unease of his more levelheaded bandmates. Though right when his world is ready to collapse entirely from beneath his feet, he falls harder than he ever could have imagined for the naive, sheltered girl who changes everything. He believes her love can save him, when in reality, she is merely the flame which detonates the bomb, sending their lives spiraling into a nightmare too intense to fathom. A nightmare which leaves him convinced he must end his own life. Though to his horror... life refuses to let him go.

--- The artwork for this novel is available only in the paperback version.

499 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 8, 2018

Reviews

[Kim Friant · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, add another book to the list of “books that made Kim ugly cry.” Taylor was so kind in giving me a free ebook copy and I’m gonna give the most glowing endorsement a booknerd can possibly give: I bought a physical copy off of Amazon. That’s right! On top of the free ebook copy, I ordered a physical copy because I want it tangibly sitting on my shelf. Before I even start talking about the story, I want to mention the brilliant illustrations that are included in this book. Taylor’s husband, Jeff, is a professional artist and he created several gorgeous pictures to go along with the story. Once my copy arrived, first thing I did was flip through the book looking for all the artwork. They are amazing and enhanced my reading.
Now, the story . . . fair warning, Taylor is a soul torturer. To be honest, when I first started reading, I was expecting to hate Harper and sludge through another cliché love story of good girl falls for bad boy and she helps him discover the teddy bear within. Nope! The story is a roller coaster of emotions and feelings and tragedy and happiness and love and hate and disgust and stomach-churning and hope and I didn’t think my heart could take anymore, and that was barely half way through! I do not remember the last time I connected so emotionally to a character like I did with Harper. Every single thing that he went through, that happened to him, that he did, I took personally. There were times when I was literally sick to my stomach because of the things Harper did and participated in. As the darkness inside him got darker and bleaker and deeper, I wanted to jump into the story and beat him and hug him all at the same time. Hope and despair go hand in hand throughout the entire book! Pretty sure, I developed an anxiety disorder while reading Jagged Mind, in all the best and worst ways! I wish I could accurately describe just how much this book made me feel. And y’all know that I’m a relatively shallow person so that’s a pretty big deal! When I finished the last page, I just sat and cried. My heart broke so completely and it felt so good and so bad simultaneously.
I identified with Emmaline. She and I are the sheltered chicks thrown into a crazy world and I appreciated her realism. There were times that she frustrated me because she was so cautious and reserved with Harper, when my “happily ever after” brain just wanted them to fall in love and everything to work out perfectly, and sometimes it just felt like she was leading him on and it really bugs me when girls do that. The other members of the band were just as turbulent in my mind. Gray, Harper’s best friend and the band’s bassist, alternated between love and hate for me. But I absolutely loved the banter between all the guys. It cracked me up! Indeed, I did laugh out loud several times when the band got together and joked and mocked together. I just became so invested in the characters and I find myself missing them, now that I’ve finished the book. Even the secondary characters that have very small parts in the plot were so real and so genuine that I’ve already asked Taylor to write another book to tell the story of one of them. Ok, two of them! 😊
The reason I gave Jagged Mind 4 stars instead of a full 5 stars is relatively minor, once I got used to it. Taylor gets so deep into the minds of all the characters that sometimes the distinction between everyone gets a little murky. One minute, you’re in Harper’s head, contemplating his deep-seated self-hate, then the next sentence, you’re in Rence’s head, pondering the future of the band. And the easiest way to fix it would be the pronouns, but even those got confusing. Once I figured it out, I was able to easily think my way through it, but it did get a bit distracting at times. However, I definitely wouldn’t trade the window into everyone’s thoughts for all the clear pronouns in the world, so overall, it worked out well.
I’m going to include the message I sent to Taylor as soon as I finished the book so hopefully I can convey just how much this book meant to me. “I’m not sure what to say ...
Thank you for sharing your book with me. I usually rate books by the emotions they illicit and I gauge my emotions by their physical manifestations. I’m in tears, Taylor. I had to blink to clear my eyes so I could even finish the last 2 pages. Once I closed the book, I sobbed. Very few books have brought out that kind of reaction, and your book is one of them. I don’t want to say that Jagged Mind is “awesome” or “amazing” because they’re too shallow and they don’t do it justice. I don’t know what word to use yet ... you’re a writer, give me a word! All I can say is that I love your book and I plan on keeping it on my shelf for the rest of my life and I plan on rereading many times.” I hope that, in some way, channels a few of the feelings that I had to endure while reading Jagged Mind. I absolutely recommend this book, definitely not to teens, but to anyone looking for a deep, poignant, disturbing, moving read.

[Chantelle Atkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

A hard book to review because I can't say it was an enjoyable read, the subject matter being so hard-hitting and painful. Jagged Mind is about a young man called Harper, the lead singer in an up and coming rock band who meets a lovely and naive girl called Emmeline. She soon realises she may be in too deep when Harper displays jealous and obsessive behaviour and nearly beats a man to death for touching her. She is prepared to hang in there though, and soon discovers his self-harm addiction, brought on by an extremely violent and traumatic childhood. This book pulls no punches, and at times I was wincing reading the physical descriptions of self-harm. The writing is powerful though and as you read the book, you are constantly torn between being on Harper's side and despising him. As things spiral out of control and Harper commits an unforgivable act, he is left with nothing, no girlfriend, no friends, no band. His time spent in a mental health institution is invaluable to him though, and leads him slowly towards some light and hope. Hope comes in the very last pages, so it's worth hanging on until then. I enjoyed the author's portrayal of a damaged mind, and the psychiatry information was really interesting and thought-provoking. I also really enjoyed the writers descriptions of music and bands, and these moments often provided much needed light relief.

[Colleen A. Parkinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Taylor Saville has created a memorable and complex saga that will haunt you long after you read the final page. I will not go into the plot here as another reviewer has already done so, and the book description tells us what we're in for the moment we open the first page. Ms. Saville aptly sweeps us along on Harper's journey through a twisted and nightmarish path of psychological torment as his life begins to spiral out of control. Harper is a product of savage physical and emotional abuse. Although musically gifted, intelligent and creative, able to bring his crowd of fans to a frenzy, he lives a life of emptiness and unrelenting frustration. Controlled by his internal demons, he brutalizes himself both physically and mentally in response to his perceived personal failures and increasing rage.

What absolutely "wowed" me about this novel is the complete understanding of severe PTSD author Taylor Saville demonstrates as she takes us into Harper's tortured soul and thoughts. And it is not only Harper; she has created a cast of supporting characters that are each as well-defined as her protagonist, and just as memorable.

The musical backdrop of the story is a character in itself - a character manifested by the angst of a simmering demographic of lost and angry youth, rebellious, violent, self-pitying, self-serving, and abhorrent.

The quality of Taylor Saville's writing is impressive throughout, despite some redundancy in her forays into her characters' thoughts. She is a genuine talent that undoubtedly will attain success as a novelist.

"Jagged Mind" is one hell of a ride. I highly recommend it to readers who like compelling, nail-biting, mouth-dropping suspense seasoned with a pinch of humor, a teaspoon of gore, and a whole lot of heart.