Five Get Beach Body Ready

Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups

by Bruno Vincent

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to hone their physiques ready for the summer holidays. All it will take is a bit of effort and willpower . . . and pulling together as a team. What could possibly stand in their way?

True to form, the path to the body beautiful is less straightforward than they hope!

Genres: Humor, Fiction, Comedy

Audio CD

First published June 1, 2017

About the author

Bruno Vincent was a bookseller and book editor before he was an author. His humour books for grown-ups, co-authored with Jon Butler, were national bestsellers and have been translated into seven languages. The TUMBLEWATER books are his first for children.

Reviews

[Ivy-Mabel Fling]

Mr Vincent takes a swipe at modern vanity and our inane competition to look thinner and more 'with it' than other people!

[Georgia Rose]

I grew up on a book diet of Enid Blyton and loved the Famous Five. I received this book as a gift and in it the five are all grown up so this is Blyton for adults. Having said that it is still a gentle read but the group drink and swear a little – things have moved on. I found it a fun read, the humour is dry, and the prose dotted with the traditional illustrations those familiar with the Blyton books will know and love.

If you read the Famous Five stories then you will know the part each of the characters, Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog, plays in the group. In this book Dick goes against type and disagrees with the others when they discuss going on holiday together. From this minor rebellion the decision is made that they are each going to go on holiday with other people this year.

I think my favourite chapter comes next – Dick Books a Holiday – Haha! I could sympathise with his struggles. Anyway, things happen, a holiday is eventually booked (although not the one he intended!) and that’s where the beach body ready bit comes in.

I won’t say more other than the fact there is a surprise, and not entirely welcome, appearance by the Secret Seven. A lovely nostalgic read though be warned the Five don’t get up to their old shenanigans of thwarting criminals and solving crimes.

[Tweedledum]

It may be "sad" but I admit to being hooked on these little pastiches of Blyton. Read this one very quickly with a wry smile throughout. The Famous Five are stuck with their famous history but trying to change their personas now they are "adults" in years at least. Here Julian decides to try and relinquish cntrol. To be less bossy while Anne is quietly becoming more assertive. But Bruno Vincent mixes things up by bringing in, and not for the first time, the Secret Seven as challengers to popularity and success. What, he surmised, a few books ago, would be the likely outcome if the Famous Five and the Secret Seven really met? How would they feel about each other?

If you are a fan of the SS as Julian and co now label them,.... Rather than the Five I strongly advise you DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!

You might need some serious counselling afterwards....

But if , like me, you favour the Five and thought the others rather prissy such that you couldn't even be bothered to track down all their adventures.... . Well go ahead... Have no fear for your mental well being and read on.... In fact Have a good laugh at their expense.

Spoof fiction... I love it....

[Nola Lorraine]

In this spoof book for adults, the Famous Five (four plus dog) are all grown up and wondering what to do with their holidays. They decide on the beachside town of Dorset and refuse to get caught up in beach-body readiness. Body shaming has gone too far and the Five aren't going to be part of it. To their horror, they discover that the annual beach-body competition will be held during their stay. To make matters worse, the bronzed and buffed Secret Seven are in town. How can they defeat their nemeses, without committing murder or giving in to patriarchal views of beauty?

I didn't actually read any of the Famous Five books when I was a child, but I was a fan of the Secret Seven. How I longed to have adventures and solve mysteries just like them. Alas, my life was pretty boring by comparison. Not even an undercover spy in our street. When I re-read one of the Secret Seven books a couple of years ago in a fit of nostalgia, I couldn't believe how bossy and chauvinistic Peter was. I couldn't help siding with the Five in this book, as they tried to stay out of the way of the adult 'pain-in-the-neck' Peter and crew.

If I'd read the Famous Five books, I probably would have found more to laugh about in this satire. It was full of understated British humour, and was probably more of a 'smile now and then' book for me than a 'laugh out loud' one. There was also the odd expletive, so it's not one to pass on to young children. However, I did enjoy it. A short, light read to fit in amongst more serious books. An added treat was that it contained a lot of the original illustrations, but with new captions to fit this story. I'll probably try some of the others in the series.

All in all, jolly good fun.

[Waldo Mum]

I would give it 0. It's awful and an insult to Enid Blyton

[Hastings75]

Not one of the best ones in the series but still some funny one liners and references to “getting ready for summer”!

[The Book Squirrel]

This is not the best of this parody series, but still quite ok.
I would recommend reading this series of books one right after the other. I binged on a few of them the other week and found them more enjoyable collectively than I found this one reading it in isolation.

[Jasmina]

I was never a fan of the Famous five, and was kinda forced into reading this one.
Gosh I hated it, was the worst. So therefore 1 *.
Boring, predictable, not funny at all.

[Peter Geyer]

If you're a particular age and demographic, and from a particular location, then the works of Enid Blyton might have been part of your reading as a child, perhaps longer. You may have even, as with my sister, encouraged your children to read them; my substantial collection went in that direction, at any rate.

As with many children's books from decades past, educators have dismissed Blyton's work, arguing that children would have been better off reading something more substantial as far as quality of writing went, pointing as well to some dubious social perspectives, including racism, implying that readers would be unduly influenced by how people were characterised.

This view seems to me to miss the point about these kinds of books, which is that they were read and enjoyed for their adventure and entertainment and so made reading pleasurable. Whether people became racists because of Blyton's books is contestable on two fronts: the first being a presumption of gullibility and naivete in young readers, believing what might have been said or implied without thinking about it, or even noticing that there were racist claims.

I can't speak for others, but for me the attraction was the stories themselves, which were engaging and about children of a similar age, although where they lived and travelled was quite different to my location, and the racist aspects, similar in some respects to what you might have read in a Biggles book around the same time, were never influential in my life. Maybe others decided to hate gypsies and others through reading this stuff, but it never crossed my mind.

It was clear also that these children weren't like me. Nonetheless it was good to read about them.

This book is part of a growing series of texts featuring what was known as the Famous Five, placed in a contemporary setting, with the characters somewhat older. I've seen them in bookshops for quite a while, the titles providing a bit of amusement. This one isn't the best title, but it was a discount purchase.

The topic here is going on a holiday, which also entails running into another group called the Secret Seven, the subject of a separate series of books that were personally less interesting, and a bit shorter than the Five books.

The book is intended to be a satire, with its characters not the brightest and occasionally self-delusory. You need to have some idea of the original characterisations to appreciate the humorous and sarcastic comments made by the author, Bruno Vincent.

Anyway, I had a good laugh. I liked the development of the characters as far as beliefs and interests went, consistent with how they appeared to be in the original texts. It took half an hour or so, so a n enjoyable interlude.

[Rebecca]

In my opinion, possibly the best and most hilarious of all these Famous Five spoofs, featuring the annoyingly perfect Secret Seven, the concept of the beach body both seriously and ironically, Julian relinquishing his position of 'Boy in Charge' and being more fun because of that, Anne and George not knowing how to deal with this change in him, pies, plentiful drinking and general holiday antics, including a fabulous comeuppance for the villains of the piece who are of course the Seven,
but specifically Peter, the ringleader, and his closest acolytes Barbara and Colin, since Janet "and the other three of the Seven, whose names no one could ever remember" turn out to be decent people when they approach the Five at the end, to apologise for Peter and glad to be out from under his thumb. . (Although I suppose I may be biased as this is the first one I've read that seems to treat Julian as sympathetically as the others, and he was ever my favourite)

[Belinda]

I had very high hopes for these spin offs from the original Blyton books. I've never read the famous five, but I've read The Magic Faraway Tree, etc. I understand her style, which is pretty awful. These books are obviously far better written, but I didn't find them that funny.

Julian steps away from being the leader of the pack and books the 5 of them (including Timmy the dog) on a trip to some beach in England.
George doesn't do much at all.
Anne is beautiful and a starting to realise that she doesn't want to be judged by her looks or her place in the family. She loves her brothers, but why should she put up with their white male self entitlement? Short answer, she shouldn't.
Dick doesn't do much at all.
Timmy says Woof.

Worth a look, but not really my thing and I put that down to the fact I don't have any attachment to Blyton's original books, which would've contextualised things more.

[Julie]

I was tricked into buying this book, thinking it was one of the original Five books. (My absolute favorite books growing up)
And I must say I was a bit disappointed. However, the book did prove to be rather well written in true Enid Blyton style. Which is why I am giving it 3 stars - the plot itself, unfortunately, did not deliver more than a 2 star rating.
It was fun to get a sneak peak into the Five's adulthood, though.

[Dane Cobain]

This book is a parody of the original Famous Five series, which I only ever read a couple of books of because I was more of a Faraway Tree fan. The good news is that the parodies are actually more engaging than the originals, at least as an adult. I’m not sure if I’d give this to a child.

It tackles the gang getting ready to go for a holiday and struggling to get everything ready, from bookings to beach bodies.

[Mrs B]

A cheeky little pastiche, cleverly written by Bruno Vincent. In this adventure, the five bloat out on beer and pies after hapless Dick accidentally books a holiday to Dorset rather than Marbella. The Five inevitably come face to face with their golden-bodied nemeses, The Secret Seven, and are set on getting their revenge...

[Sian]

Another hilarious instalment that saw the Famous Five pitted against their rivals the Secret Seven on their spontaneous Dorset beach holiday. With lots of laughs, larks and hangovers, this is one holiday they (or you!) will never forget.

[Hayden]

The recognition that our modern obsession with beauty coexists with a contradictory obsession with defying superficial norms and seizing on the right to disregard such expectations of bodily perfection provide a great platform for another comical romp featuring Blyton's famous five.

[Kerrie Hurrell]

Interesting take for adults on the Five series- Five get into a fight, get tattoos, have trouble booking an online vacation, bump into their nemesis the secret seven- every one now adults- It was oftentimes quite amusing.

[Sam Crossland]

Having grown up reading Famous Five, Secret Seven, Mallory Towers and St Clares I love these parodies. They use original illustrations and they're made to fit the story via a direct quote.
Some good humour and short enough for a single sitting.

[Brenda Greene]

I've read a lot of these spoofs, but this one is not that good. I empathised with booking a holiday online at the beginning. Sudden character insights and personality changes defeated the whole underlying premise and humour in the middle. The end was wet.

[Gina P]

I first found these books in a B&B I was staying at and when I flipped through them I realized they were actually for adults. They certainly have funny moments. I found the beginning of this one funnier than the end but it was fun, light, and I love the concept.

[Wendy]

Easy read and quite fun.

[Catherine]

Hilarious, easy read

[Stephanie]

Very funny!

[Eddie]

Amusing... But the satire was stronger before they actually got to the holiday!

[Kay Townsend]

This was a typical Famous Five book, funny but enjoyable. I loved it.

[Annette McIntyre]

A modern look at the body beautiful craze using Enid Blyton's famous Five as adults. Very funny

[Sarah]

VERY WELL DONE :)

[Emily]

God, this was so bad it was good. Good for a chuckle if you used to read the famous five when you were younger (or still do).

[Tara Ravi]

I never read The Famous Five, but I still really enjoyed this.

[VT]

Easy and enjoyable, funny book most of the time.