The Highly Sensitive: How to Find Inner Peace, Develop Your Gifts, and Thrive

by Judy Dyer

Do you feel too sensitive for this world? Are you at the mercy of your emotions, overwhelmed by your environment, and easily triggered by other people’s feelings? You aren’t alone. Millions of Highly Sensitive People (HSP) feel exactly the same way. If you’ve always felt more delicate, more easily overwhelmed by sensory input, and more empathetic than those around you, you are probably an HSP. Sensitivity is a blessing, but it’s hard to thrive as an HSP in a competitive society that perceives emotional expression as a sign of weakness. So how do you develop the skills and tools you need to successfully navigate your way through life as an HSP? As someone attuned to the emotions of everyone around you, how can you protect yourself against emotional overwhelm, negative energy, and psychological distress? In The Highly How to Find Inner Peace, Develop Your Gifts, and Thrive , you will realize why high sensitivity is a gift that requires careful management. You will discover how to solve the common problems faced by HSPs the world over and how to live a happy, fulfilling life that lets you use your abilities to the fullest. Specifically, you will
Empower yourself by downloading this invaluable guide to living as an HSP. Within just a few hours, you will develop an in-depth understanding of your true self and begin to realize your full potential. This book is packed with helpful advice and strategies you can use to live a balanced and meaningful life as an HSP. You can start implementing the simple yet powerful techniques in this book today! Discover the Secrets to Thrive as an HSP Today by Scrolling Up and Clicking the " Add to Cart " Button.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Mental Health, Spirituality

266 pages, Paperback

Published September 1, 2018

About the author

Judy is an open spirit and passion to help empaths. She writes books for those who have a natural ability to tune in to the feelings of others.

Her mission is to share her lifelong experiences and comprehensive research on the many benefits and blessings associated with being an empath.

Judy loves to hear from her readers.

Feel free to email her at judydyer22@gmail.com

Reviews

[Sarah Jacques]

Really bland, basic, cookie-cutter, pseudoscience book. Don't waste your time on a teeny book whose info is all available for free on Google.

[Min · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75. Before reading this, the first time I heard the term HSP(highly sensitive people) was in my therapy sessions, when my therapist told me that even on the sensitivity rale, I was on the extremely sensitive scale, and that it was not a good or bad thing, just the way I was. Never knew it was an "official" term though. After reading this, a lot of things about me make sense. A book that will help many sensitive people overcome anxiety attacks and overall approach the world more calmly. Would recommend to HSPs as it gives helpful solutions a wide variety of situations that may often strike sensitive people.

Notes
Will write later.

[Kinjal Pike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy read

She really validated everything I was experiencing. This was a very helpful book that many will relate to. I recommend this book!

[Daniel Triumph · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a good place to start your inquiry, but if you already know the basics, you won't get much.

It was on pretty solid footing until she started writing about using crystals to calm yourself, and certain plants to reduce "negative energy."

There is some science here, but anyone who includes this other stuff without any disclaimer is…best avoided—unless that's what you are interested in too.

[Rachael Maier · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a quick read, and its depth matches its length. It’s set up like an article: skimmable and, frankly, skippable.

Perhaps the way it’s written would be well-suited for children or adolescents? While there are some practical tips in it, they’re all so superficial and it feels like a lot of fluff to get to a few grains of grit.

Disappointing last book of the year, but I’m glad it got me to 18 books! Will aim even higher (and be more discerning) next year.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned from this book. I have always been a sensitive person and just made my way through life. In my current retired life, it appears I am using her advice before reading this book. What great validation.

[Arastoo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good tips, particularly with respect to managing your emotions. However, the amount of knowledge didn't justify the price tag at $25.00 for the book. This is an 80-90 page book and can be read in an hour. It is good to recognize that you're an HSP, and techniques to help you manage your emotions during times of stress. That's pretty much the gist of the book.

[Ashley Epp · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is a collection of pseudo science taken from psychologytoday.com disguised as science. Wasted my time reading this, but now will look into more reputable sources.

[Brooke Eboule · Rating 2 out of 5]

Easy read. Decent strategies overall, but feels like little more than what you could come up with through some Googling and your own common sense. Aside from the emphasis on crystals (which perhaps I just need to be more open-minded about), the main thing I took issue with was the specific suggestion of "smudging" or burning sage to eliminate negative energy in your environment. Especially because this was given without really explaining the origin, sacredness or significance in Indigenous communities, nor the traumatic history that sought to oppress Indigenous spiritual practices. This is pure cultural appropriation.

[Meg Roberts · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mid book that lost a star for almost complete lack of citations. What use is all the references in the back without any idea what they support? Cannot claim scientific evidence and then not provide it.

[Greg D · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is often the assumption that only women are sensitive. While women may be more sensitive than men (its a hormonal thing), I do know that I have always been told by others that I am overly sensitive. Certainly empathetic, compassionate, and I sense other people's feelings and moods, all the time. I'm a crybaby when I watch television shows or movies. Same with at weddings and funerals. I am a bit of a perfectionist. I like small social settings and avoid large ones like the plague. It's a blessing and a curse.

I didn't even know Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) was a thing until I stumbled upon this book on Amazon. I decided to download a sample, and within its first 25 pages this book nailed me to a tee. I purchased the book and read it in its entirety in little less than a week. Sooner if I wasn't reading other books at the same time.

According to Dyer, the signs that you may be a Highly Sensitive Person are:

1. A tendency to feel particularly overwhelmed in noisy environments
2. A preference for smaller gatherings of people rather than large crowds
3. A good track record of picking up on other people’s moods and motives
4. An ability to notice little changes in the environment
5. A tendency to be easily moved by music, books, films, and other media
6. Heightened sensitivity to hunger, pain, medication, and caffeine
7. A need to recharge and relax alone on a regular basis
8. An appreciation of good manners and politeness
9. Difficulty in refusing others’ requests for fear of hurting their feelings
10. Difficulty in forgiving yourself for even the smallest mistakes
11. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome
12. Trouble handling conflict and criticism

If most of these identify you, then you are likely a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Once you are convinced that you are an HSP then the rest of the book will flow nicely for you. As Dyer jumps into how best to navigate through life as an HSP. Whatever you do, don't think of this as a disability or a mental health illness, because it is neither. It is simply how you are wired. There are probably others who are not sensitive, stoic, and not in tune to other peoples sensitivities.

Dyer goes on to offer ideas on how an HSP can get through life a little bit easier. For example, how to deal with emotional overwhelm and building your emotional intelligence. How to set boundaries and say no. How to filter out toxic people in your life while at the same time not falling in love with others too quickly. Then she goes on to offer ideas on how to eliminate negative energy in our lives (this one was a bit unorthodox), how to deal with depression and anxiety. And, what careers are befitting to those of us who are HSP. How do HSPs parent, and how to detox from social media since we HSPs are so in tune to others.

I can go on. This is a great book through and through. It's not an end all for HSP but it does at the very least offer clear insight into what an HSP is. I highly recommend this as an elementary introduction into Highly Sensitive Person. There are other books out there that expound upon it in much more depth and greater detail. For me, this was all that was needed.

[Nadia Somani · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was different than I expected - it felt like I was reading summary notes encompassing brief tips to help HSPs. I was hoping for a more in depth analysis & description, coupled with more concrete examples. If someone’s looking for a brief list of “hacks” or tips then I would recommend this book because it does a good job of surface level descriptions which could be useful to introduce new ideas if you’ve never heard of HSPs before.

[Samantha Strong · Rating 4 out of 5]

For someone who hasn't already thought through everything in the book, this might be helpful. It's mostly common sense advice for mental health, really. But the thing I realized, of course, was that as an HSP, these strategies are required, not optional. And it made me feel better to know I'm not alone.

[Conrad Brown · Rating 1 out of 5]

A pamphlet of platitudes written in a weekend

I stopped reading 1/5 of the way through when the author advocates the carrying of crystals to "absorb the negative energy." I skimmed the rest quickly to see what kind of nuggets I'd be missing out on and the overall theme is: "if you don't want to feel bad, then don't!" Ahhh, the author makes it sound so easy!

[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent information for the sensitive person. Great tips and tools to help you function in this highly charged world.

[Ashlynn Faulkner · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very informative, but found myself skipping sections that didn't align with my values.

[Cristina Stutz · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good intro book for sensitive people

I liked how easy this book was to read. I finished it in about 90 minutes. The concepts discussed in the book are all relevant and supported with exercises to help deal with each, which I thought was also good.

Where I feel like the book veers, for me personally, is that the author sometimes uses language like, “you can’t help being this way because of how sensitive you are,” — and for me, that feels disempowering. To say we cannot help but be a certain way, is to give our power away to something outside of ourselves.

Yes, we cannot help but be human—for that is what we are, but even the most sensitive among us is capable of being anything we want to be. To think anything differently feels small, and even if that wasn’t the intent of the author, the language was used often enough for it to stand out to me as being something of a limiting belief about being highly sensitive.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good basic intro to better understanding thought processes and actions for anyone who feels they fall into the HSP category. She does provide some examples and practical applications to practice but it’s nothing new or ground breaking. I would consider this a good book to have on hand as a quick reference when needing to remind yourself of different ways to consider how you’re reacting to certain situations or if you feel you’re caught in a negative loop.
I would not consider myself an HSP or Empath however I was still able to get some good reminders even for myself out of it. It will definitely help me be more understanding of the other people in my life that I do think fall into the HSP category. Since it’s more of a basic look and not a deep dive, I would highly recommend it for people who live with HSP’s and are wanting to be more understanding of why they react the way they do to certain situations.

[stephanie suh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Come and read this book if it’s about you. -

If you feel why life can’t be lived at the same pitch
Of your mind’s notes written in the heart’s chamber;
If you find the utter cry of your heart without a hitch
In a solitary sea of words rolling and heaving under
A rainbow of vivid imaginations and fleeting emotions;
And your spirit often rebels and refuges in the ether
From the detritus of broken promises and shattered dreams,

You're born under the Star of the Highly Sensitive evermore
Of Fire, Spirit, and Dew in the wondrous alchemy of mystery,
So beautiful, so wonderful, so delightful that your eyes are lit
With twinkles of shiny waters, sparkles of diamonds evermore
That which adonize you with the Supreme One of Beauty.

This is you, and you only, only you, and you alone - Always.

[Debra M. · Rating 2 out of 5]

A Beginner’s Guide

If you are new to the concept of “the highly sensitive,” this is probably a decent beginners guide to understanding yourself. However, if you already know that you are an HSP, this book will be highly frustrating as you flip from page to page thinking, “I already know this“ or “I already do this.“ It reads more like an extended brochure about highly sensitive people. I found myself thinking that others in my life would benefit from reading this book to understand me better if they cared enough to want to know. So with that said, it’s probably a more effective read for those who have HSPs in their life.

[Shannon McNeal · Rating 5 out of 5]

someone finally put into words what I have been feeling my entire life!

I have felt fundamentally broken my entire life, literally since the age of 4 or 5 and I’m now 51. I now realize this is part of how I am wired and this gave me tools to help me through difficult times and also gave me permission to begin to feel ok about myself and I don’t necessarily feel broken or that something is fundamentally wrong with me. I don’t believe in crystals or burning sage etc, I am a Jesus follower and this book also helped me to open up to the fact that I am dearly loved

[Laura D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s a list in the first chapter that lists things that are characteristics of an HSP and I am strongly 8 out of 12 and identify with the other 4 characteristics. So this book was enlightening as I had never explored this about myself. I think it’s a great read and gave it to my parents so that they might understand some struggles I face. In that, I find this book concise and easy to understand.

[Rene J Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful read

I am 18 and just started learning about HSP from this book, never having heard of it before. I told my mom how I felt identified by this book and she told me that she found out when I was a baby that I was an HSP. The tactics in this book are things I have been acutely tuaght in therapy sessions, so the content is properly backed up. A worthh and distinguished read. I enjoyed!

[RAD · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insensitive Sensitivity

Like candy at the checkout aisle of a grocery store, The Highly Sensitive was an impulse purchase for my mental sweet tooth when I stumbled across it on Amazon. I typically research books before I buy them, but didn’t in this case. Later, I did learn (insofar as generic Internet searches can be trusted) that the author, Judy Dyer, has a degree in psychology from Harvard, which reassured me on some level.

I’ve always considered myself a highly sensitive person, and was gratified to find the term compressed into an acronym (HSP) in the first sentence of the Introduction. There’s a name for my condition! I was happy to continue.

The next section, between the Introduction and Chapter 1, is titled “Your Free Gift—Heyoka Empath.” It wasn’t immediately clear what “Gift” meant in this context; nor was it clear to me in any context what “Heyoka” meant. After a few pages, the reader is presented with a picture of the cover of one of Dyer’s many books—this one titled Heyoka Empath: 7 Signs You’re a Heyoka Empath & Why It’s So Powerful.” To her credit, a link was provided to receive a free copy of the book (I’ve yet to click or claim it). And while Dyer provides a bulleted list promising “many of the answers to the questions you’ve [as an ostensible Heyoka empath] been searching for your entire life’ (p. 12), as well as three separate paragraphs on “Signs” that you are a “Heyoka empath,” this odd word remains undefined.

Wikipedia to the rescue: “The heyoka (heyókȟa, also spelled “haokah,” “heyokha’) is a kind of sacred clown in the culture of the Sioux (Lakota and Dakota people) of the Great Plains of North America. The heyoka is a contrarian, jester, and satirist, who speaks, moves and reacts in an opposite fashion to the people around them” The metaphor is muddled, if not unclear. Perhaps this other book provides a deeper explication, but its tease provides more annoyance than satisfaction.

I pressed on. In the second paragraph of the first chapter (“What Is An HSP, Anyway?”), Dyer writes: “Dr. Elaine Aron, famous for her research with HSPs, states that approximately 20% of the population is highly sensitive” (p. 17). Here my own sensitivity ran amok: who exactly is this Dr. Aron? How is her research famous? How is Dyer talking about this famous research on HSPs without Dyer defining what HSPs actually are? Where are the footnotes? And 20% of the population? I was immediately skeptical.

The author follows with “Signs of the Highly Sensitive Person—A Helpful List” (p. 17). “How many of the following describe you”? she asks. Ten of the 12 bulleted points described characteristics of me personally. My faith restored in the book’s title, I continued.

I was quickly coerced back to the skeptical camp. Just three pages later, a five-page section (more than 3% of only 151 pages) was devoted to “HSP Myths,” of which 13 are discussed. How do “myths” exist for an acronym which, while interesting on its surface, is yet to be thoroughly defined? A myth either requires some truth, which has not yet been defined, or else is a story, which would render this text irrelevant. A mythical Scylla and Charybdis, this.

While there are portions of the book that I found enlightening, the overall impression is disjointed and simple, if well-intentioned. There are no footnotes (incontrovertibly needed to reference the aforementioned Dr. Aron’s research, for example) or explications for uncommon terms (“Hekoya”). There is a three-page “References” section at the book’s end. Many of the citations are far from scholarly, and several are not referenced at all in the text; this gives the appearance of an attempt to establish credibility, which is difficult without textual references (or even inclusions). This is not to say that The Highly Sensitive is intended to be an academic text, but more rigor (and editing) would be helpful.

I’m not a big reader of self-help books or pop psychology, and Dyer’s book reinforced my gentle aversion. Highly Sensitive glosses over a sensitive topic, empathetically, but the shallowness is insensitive to the reality of the subject. In general, the pros and cons balance each other out. Three stars on the Goodreads scale.

[Ashleigh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very brief and generalized read

I found that this book was too general. It was such a short read that I got the gist of what it is like to be highly sensitive but I didn’t feel like I got enough insight on some of the areas that were discussed in the introduction. The strategies were common knowledge for the most part and were nothing to be in awe of.

[May · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author started the book quite right and that is what any one who picks this book goes on buying it, definitely knowledgeable author and does disclaim of no psychological help but does looses track and just ends up collating dozens of articles on health and wellness and is published in this less than 100 page book.
The way it started I wish it went all the way like that

[Trisha Ours · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always considered myself an empath and hadn't heard the term HSP before reading this book. While much of the information was basic, I felt that I fit many of the character traits of an HSP and it helped me realize why I do many of the things that I do. I especially liked the chapter on saying no and setting boundaries. It is something I struggle with and have been trying to get better at.

[Carlos Walcott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I belong!

This bookus a home coming of sorts for me! I always felt that I was 'special' but had no idea! My family and friends all think I have psychic abilities as I can read people to a high degree of accuracy. I can also have a good idea of someone after one meeting. This book gives me a better understanding of who I am.

[B L Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative Read

I found this book to be very insightful and comforting as an HSP. It helped me to see where I my upbringing has impacted who I am today. HSPs need a special kind of love and attention , and when one doesn't get that, it creates problems with the self in the future. Very good read.