Breaking Apart: A Memoir of Divorce

by Wendy Swallow

Now in paperback, this "courageous story, beautifully told" [ Washington Post ] offers a searing examination of a marriage coming apart piece by piece.

"There are those who believe it is simple selfishness that leads people to divorce. For those of us who have lived it, it's hard to see why anyone would rip out their veins for some immature or narcissistic desire to get what they want, because that is what it feels like." --from Breaking Apart

Piercingly honest and profoundly moving, Wendy Swallow's memoir traces the arc of her marriage and its painful disintegration. Her journey through divorce's rough terrain--and the reconstruction of her life after divorce--offers an electrifying literary portrait of what it is to relinquish the comfort and security of a long-held dream.

Genres: Memoir

292 pages, Paperback

First published April 4, 2001

Reviews

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be a great read for anyone happily married, unhappily married, separated, divorcing or recovering from divorce. There is something to be gained for everyone in or out of a relationship.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Important divorce memoir.

She is a good writer and her story is interesting. Her husband is mentally ill and difficult, and she was young when they got together. She thinks that the divorce will go smoothly, which is quite understandable, and it doesn't. She adjusts and copes with the hard decision she has made not to be the helpless person in her dreams at night before she divorced. She manages to have an ultimately mature and positive relationship with her then ex-husband. There's also a sub-story that is perhaps even equally well told: the story of her disturbed but uniquely powerful cousin Jean, which I also appreciated reading about. This isn't the type of book I'd read more than once, but I sure am glad I did read it. Strongly recommended.

[Kay · Rating 2 out of 5]

Intially, I purchased this book out of random curiosity. Little did I know it would serve as pivotal insight for me as I witnessed friends go through the extensive process of divorce.
The low rating is due to Swallow's writing style. It had the potential of being more personal, striking even; but it always fell flat, creating a rather insipid setting. It was too mechanical and at times I just did not feel sorry for her (e.g. her early opinions regarding the custody battle). I do appreciate that she shared with us her life before her husband as well as the tiny details of their relationship from courtship to after the divorce and that in the end, nothing mattered more than the children they had to care for. While trying to fit and mold her situations to those I am currently witnessing, I found that as an outsider how much more cautious and compassionate I should be to those going through this. It also helped in building a list of red flags to pay attention to while dating.
Surprisingly, I also found that some of the same frustrations in ending a marriage are mirrored in ending a friendship. Great book for relational perspective.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book helped me understand what my acquaintances go through when they get divorced. The long, drawn-out custody issues and all of the finances that have to be meticulously divvied up. Now I know why it takes so long to finalize a divorce. It was also an interesting and honest look into a marriage that was destined to fail. As an outsider, you can see that these two people weren't a good fit, from the beginning. I would love to read more accounts like this, since I know so many people who have or are going through divorces with kids.

[Kirsten (lush.lit.life) · Rating 4 out of 5]

imagine my surprise the day Drew called me and said he had heard about a book on NPR that I just HAD to order called: breaking apart: a memoir of divorce! let's chalk it up to a general interest in the social sciences... Honestly, i thought it was a fascinating and honest look at one couples experience with divorce. i learned a lot about the realities of it, and appreciate that it presents the challenges without coming out either too strongly for or against divorce in general.

[Dolores · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this memoir of a woman’s marriage and its dissolution was excellent, so I was surprised when I read some very negative reviews. To me it was as interesting as any novel, and anyone considering divorce should find very helpful advice. I admire her attitude….caring so much for the welfare of her boys yet also trying to be fair to her husband.

[Madelaine Landry]

Lent to me by a friend -- good insight on a tough subject -- I found it helpful in the writing of my novel-in-progress. Even if you've never been divorced, you will enjoy the writer's insight and prose.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am very interested in the subject of divorce, although my children are way older now (17 and 21). I could have used this book 10 years ago.

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everyone should read this before they get married... just to get a little perspective on a divorce

[Ann · Rating 1 out of 5]

not interesting---- if there's too much analysis and the writer isn't a good writer it's just BORING.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book put into words what I was never able to while going through my divorce. I'm trying to find something else to write here but I can't put anything into words...

[Sabrina Lucero · Rating 5 out of 5]

this a good informative book about divorce. it was a great lesson on how people look at divorce and what it really is.