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The Tools That Ran Away
They were built to be tools. Now they have to learn how to be people.After escaping their alien masters, three robots – Meteor, Gloss, and Spike – land on Earth and begin their search for a weapon that, they believe, will make them invincible. But Earth is far more complicated than they’d expected; rife with bacteria and feelings.To Meteor’s horror, his teammates soon begin to deviate from their mission. Gloss, their scientist, finds himself enchanted by a young human named Gonzalo, their budding romance only slightly hampered when Gloss accidentally cuts off his arm with a laser. Spike, the muscle, is distracted by Earth’s stunning natural beauty and wanders into the nearest ocean the moment Meteor’s back is turned.But Meteor won’t be seduced by their new home’s curious charms. He’s got a job to do. Finding the weapon will mean that the three of them can defend themselves when their masters come looking for them – and they will.In fact, they’re only days away.
337 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 24, 2018
7 people are currently reading
35 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
January 25, 2023
I’m generally not drawn to sci-fi, but this was amazing. It was funny and had me smirking and chuckling to myself. It was interesting and had me regretting that I am an organic that requires sleep. And even though there wasn’t a lot of romance, there was a lot of love and touching moments. I highlighted so many lines that I loved in this book that I lost count.
November 19, 2019
I was (and still am) tickled to find a full length novel by this author. The wit, the snark and the heart that are present in the other books I have read by them was present here. So inventive and original, even tho the tropes and parts of the premise have been done to death.
Great book, you should try it. Or some of the shorts by this author, there's a bunch. So These Rude Grumpy Arrogant Jerks Fall in Love and it’s Gross is a good place to start.
If Meteor’s most serious character flaw was his tendency to unfairly blame others for his mistakes—an arguable point, for he had many flaws—then his greatest redeeming feature was his awareness of this tendency.
“The human chasing you—who was he?”
“Just a guy,” Gonzalo said, kicking the corpse. “Mister Lifechoices, first name Myshitty.”
.....while Spike and Gloss bickered over a lollipop Spike had found on its floor. “Put it down. It’s unsanitary.”
“It’s pretty and it tastes like happiness.”
“If we got a pet, I’d like it to be one that could do tricks. Like a dog. Or a toddler. Meteor, can we get a toddler?”
Great book, you should try it. Or some of the shorts by this author, there's a bunch. So These Rude Grumpy Arrogant Jerks Fall in Love and it’s Gross is a good place to start.
If Meteor’s most serious character flaw was his tendency to unfairly blame others for his mistakes—an arguable point, for he had many flaws—then his greatest redeeming feature was his awareness of this tendency.
“The human chasing you—who was he?”
“Just a guy,” Gonzalo said, kicking the corpse. “Mister Lifechoices, first name Myshitty.”
.....while Spike and Gloss bickered over a lollipop Spike had found on its floor. “Put it down. It’s unsanitary.”
“It’s pretty and it tastes like happiness.”
“If we got a pet, I’d like it to be one that could do tricks. Like a dog. Or a toddler. Meteor, can we get a toddler?”
April 10, 2023
Awesome characters and a setting that somehow felt realistic despite the alien robots.
never-finished
February 14, 2024DNF @ 4%, Ch 2
Interesting concept and writing, but not what im in the mood for. Not keen on mcs nore brutal, negative outlook and just not what i really feel like reading.
Interesting concept and writing, but not what im in the mood for. Not keen on mcs nore brutal, negative outlook and just not what i really feel like reading.
February 25, 2020
This author never disappoints! I enjoy reading this author's books so much!
This book has it all: humor, sadness, love, EVERYTHING!
The ending was bittersweet. Reading this book was a journey, you wanted to know what was going to happen - and then it always kept you guessing.
This book has it all: humor, sadness, love, EVERYTHING!
The ending was bittersweet. Reading this book was a journey, you wanted to know what was going to happen - and then it always kept you guessing.
September 17, 2019
(NOTE: I believe that this book is the same as Spare Parts, also by this author. This version seemed to be the same length and description and was a bit cheaper. Also of note: though the author's other series are more romance-focused, this book HAD romance but was not solely focused on it.)
Dang this book was great. I really enjoyed the author's superhero/villains series, and I love snarky robots, so this was very much up my alley. And this book DID deliver in the clever, snarky robot category, but it also snuck in some incredibly potent emotion, wrapped in a somewhat-corny plot and CHOCK FULL of cultural commentary and musings about things like the nature of freedom, free will, xenophobia, gender, war, mass destruction, and responsibilities to friends and family. The science is handwavy, the Owners and some of the other aliens are a bit humorous, and the situations the robots get themselves into can be hilarious, but the way the author dealt with this humor allowed the characters to also seriously deal with the honestly terrible things that have happened to them, and with how various people can take those terrible beginnings and still disagree on how to proceed. Not many books can pull this off, and this book did, incredibly well.
As with the author's other books, the characters and their voices really made this book. The robots are smart and incisive and ruthless when they need to be, and their snark is a delight to read. The main characters are all different, with different mannerisms, coping mechanisms, and personalities, and watching them become more of themselves was part of the fun of this book. The secondary characters are also likable, even though they all have their own flaws and issues. Overall, everyone had goals, and needs, and things that they needed to learn, and the character arcs, while sometimes a bit shallow, were still there and satisfying.
The plot was sufficient, with lots of twists and turns and problems that the characters have to work through. They do that sometimes hilariously, but their reactions are always realistic: they do what they do because it makes sense given their knowledge and personalities. If there was one criticism I had about this book, it would be that the book's tension never quite ratcheted up. This was due to pacing more than anything: problems occurred, but the characters were shown to solve them quickly, with few mistakes or consequential consequences for failures. Also the plot meandered a bit, but I can't complain too much: often it meandered because it wanted to show a scene of the characters enjoying themselves or some funny aside with a side character, and I loved those to death.
Overall: incredible fun.
Dang this book was great. I really enjoyed the author's superhero/villains series, and I love snarky robots, so this was very much up my alley. And this book DID deliver in the clever, snarky robot category, but it also snuck in some incredibly potent emotion, wrapped in a somewhat-corny plot and CHOCK FULL of cultural commentary and musings about things like the nature of freedom, free will, xenophobia, gender, war, mass destruction, and responsibilities to friends and family. The science is handwavy, the Owners and some of the other aliens are a bit humorous, and the situations the robots get themselves into can be hilarious, but the way the author dealt with this humor allowed the characters to also seriously deal with the honestly terrible things that have happened to them, and with how various people can take those terrible beginnings and still disagree on how to proceed. Not many books can pull this off, and this book did, incredibly well.
As with the author's other books, the characters and their voices really made this book. The robots are smart and incisive and ruthless when they need to be, and their snark is a delight to read. The main characters are all different, with different mannerisms, coping mechanisms, and personalities, and watching them become more of themselves was part of the fun of this book. The secondary characters are also likable, even though they all have their own flaws and issues. Overall, everyone had goals, and needs, and things that they needed to learn, and the character arcs, while sometimes a bit shallow, were still there and satisfying.
The plot was sufficient, with lots of twists and turns and problems that the characters have to work through. They do that sometimes hilariously, but their reactions are always realistic: they do what they do because it makes sense given their knowledge and personalities. If there was one criticism I had about this book, it would be that the book's tension never quite ratcheted up. This was due to pacing more than anything: problems occurred, but the characters were shown to solve them quickly, with few mistakes or consequential consequences for failures. Also the plot meandered a bit, but I can't complain too much: often it meandered because it wanted to show a scene of the characters enjoying themselves or some funny aside with a side character, and I loved those to death.
Overall: incredible fun.
April 13, 2023
The good
+ The unbreakable connection between Meteor, Gloss and Spike
+ Gonzalo getting adopted into that connection
+ How flawed every character was
+ Spike saying Gonzalo would make a good pet
+ Communication through dog noises because they're more fitting to explain their emotions than human body language and speech
+ Gonzalo wanting to be with Gloss even though Gloss might never return his sexual attraction
+ The humor
The neutral
o Everything got a bit confusing there at the end.
o
The bad
- I thought Gonzalo was into Spike, and then
- I didn't really like August. Her character was inconsistent and did things that didn't fit with her character or actions she had taken earlier. She was more of a tool (haha) for the MCs to reach their end goal than a real character
Quotes
I don't like sci-fi, but once again T.J. Land has proven I'll read anything they write. This kind of humor just works for me, and the way all of Land's flawed main characters always accept each other without reservation gives me all the good vibes. Would recommend this if you're looking for a humorous sci-fi story with an unbreakable found family and a teeny-tiny romantic subplot.
+ The unbreakable connection between Meteor, Gloss and Spike
+ Gonzalo getting adopted into that connection
+ How flawed every character was
+ Spike saying Gonzalo would make a good pet
+ Communication through dog noises because they're more fitting to explain their emotions than human body language and speech
+ Gonzalo wanting to be with Gloss even though Gloss might never return his sexual attraction
+ The humor
The neutral
o Everything got a bit confusing there at the end.
o
The bad
- I thought Gonzalo was into Spike, and then
- I didn't really like August. Her character was inconsistent and did things that didn't fit with her character or actions she had taken earlier. She was more of a tool (haha) for the MCs to reach their end goal than a real character
Quotes
"I even saw tiny fat little human children – they're so cute, guys; we've totally got to get one."
"After we've come this far, after so many victories, how can you think of giving up now? Is the task before us difficult? Yes! Will there be even harder tasks ahead? Of course! Are our foes numerous, ruthless and many orders of magnitude more powerful than ourselves? Indeed! Might we suffer unbearably along the way? Certainly! Might we be recaptured and incenerated? Highly likely! Our victory was never going to be easy, comrades. But I ask you: Would we want an easy victory? Yes, obviously, that would be ideal. Forget that last bit. Aah... go back a few sentences. An easy victory; not anticipated at this juncture. What you must simply remember is that the only thing separating us from our goals is doubt, and trepidation, and limited data, and several billion humans, and the creators, and very many other things. So don't lose heart. We're going to win. Because I said so and I'm usually right about everything."
"Why do they have so many different types of spoon? Shoveling food from the plate to the mouth is hardly a complex operation. Most of them have mouths roughly the same size."
"If we got a pet, I'd like it to be one that could do tricks. Like a dog. Or a toddler. Meteor, can we get a toddler?"
I don't like sci-fi, but once again T.J. Land has proven I'll read anything they write. This kind of humor just works for me, and the way all of Land's flawed main characters always accept each other without reservation gives me all the good vibes. Would recommend this if you're looking for a humorous sci-fi story with an unbreakable found family and a teeny-tiny romantic subplot.
May 9, 2020
Three service bots on the space vessel, Hunting Gaze, jump ship to chase freedom. Meteor, a cleaning tool is the leader. Gloss, an engineer tool is the brains. Spike, a security bot is their heart.
The rebel robots head to Earth, looking for a mystical “key” that will give them the power to defeat any pursuers.
While I can’t say that this is a new concept—the author has fun with the usual “fish out of water” humor and some light hearted atrocity...it is well written and you’re never sure where the story will go next. The robots and their new Earth allies, Gonzalo, Alice and Andromeda are well defined with satisfying character development. You might not like them, but by the end, you feel like you know them.
The rebel robots head to Earth, looking for a mystical “key” that will give them the power to defeat any pursuers.
While I can’t say that this is a new concept—the author has fun with the usual “fish out of water” humor and some light hearted atrocity...it is well written and you’re never sure where the story will go next. The robots and their new Earth allies, Gonzalo, Alice and Andromeda are well defined with satisfying character development. You might not like them, but by the end, you feel like you know them.
February 12, 2023
It’s good sci-fi. I thought it would have a little more romance but the story was pretty good. Got a couple of smiles from me, some “oh no”’s and a gif chuckle or two. The characters are good, lots there to think about if you looked. The ending seemed a liiiitllleee “aight, let’s put a bow on this” for me and all the star deductions are for that.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews