Mükemmeliyetçilik

by Roz Shafran, Sarah Egan, Tracey Wade

Ne yaparsanız yapın yeterince başarılı olmadığınızı mı düşünüyorsunuz?



-Kendinizi sürekli başkalarıyla karşılaştırıyor ve kendinize daha olumsuz puan mı veriyorsunuz?



-Kabul görmek, sevilmek veya beğenilmek için hiç hata yapmamak zorunda olduğunuza mı inanıyorsunuz?



-Sürekli olarak her şeyi kontrol altında tutmaya mı çalışıyorsunuz?



Bu sorulara olumlu cevap veriyorsanız "başarılı" olmaktan çok "mükemmel" olmaya çalışıyorsunuz demektir. Ama hatırlayın: Mükemmel iyinin düşmanıdır!



İşin ayrıntılarında kaybolan, gereğinden çok fazla emek ve zaman harcamalarına rağmen başkaları tarafından nasıl değerlendirileceğinden endişe ederek kendilerini strese sokan mükemmeliyetçilerin her şeyden önce özsaygıları ve özgüvenleri düşüktür. Buna obsesif kompulsif kişilik ve kaygı bozukluğu, depresyon, hatta yeme sorunları bile eklenebilir ve sonuçta yaşam bir karabasan haline gelir. Ciddi sağlık sorunlarının baş göstermesi kaçınılmazdır.



Üç bilim insanı tarafından hazırlanan bu kitap önce mükemmeliyetçiliğin ne olduğunu anlatıyor, sonra da Bilişsel Davranış Teknikleri'nin uygulandığı basit pratikler ve egzersizler yardımıyla bu sorunun nasıl üstesinden gelineceğini gösteriyor.



Mükemmel olmaya çalıştığı için mutsuz ve başarısız olan kişiler ve ailelerinin yanı sıra ilgili sağlık uzmanları için de önemli bir kaynak.

(Tanıtım Bülteninden)

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Ebooks, Personal Development, Mental Health

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[نرگس پ]

خب من این رو به پیشنهاد دکترم خوندم. من خیلی به این چیزای روانشناسی و اینا بدبینم. ولی این از اون کتابای الکی نبود که باید خودتون بخواید تا خوشحال باشید. یه سری نکته رو مطرح می کرد و اونا رو می ذاشت برعهده ی خواننده که خودش امتحان کنه و ببینه روش جواب می ده یا نه. من همه تمرین هایی که گفته بود رو انجام ندادم چون در شرایط مناسبی برای تغییر زیاد یهویی نیستم اما یه سریا که انجام دادم نتیجه مثبتی داشته هرچند حداقلی.
به طور کلی می خوام کتاب رو دم دستم نگه دارم و هروقت افکار کمال گرایانه م زیاد شدن بهش مراجعه کنم چون این یه پروسه ست و به هر حال باید باهاش مقابله کنم. نوشتن این ریویو هم نوعی تمرین بود که بگم هی من این مشکل رو دارم و عیبی نداره.
اگه کسی خودش رو کمال گرا می دونه و فکر می کنه این قضیه براش مشکل ایجاد کرده قطعا این رو پیشنهاد می کنم بخونه چون کتاب خودیار آسون و خوبیه.

[Paçimuçka]

Overcoming Perfectionism is an overall good,but repetitive and a little bit unpractical book. The content, the roots of perfectionism, what feeds it etc. are very helpful to understand your own ideas and actions. However many sentences and arguments repeat in nearly every chapter, at some point it gets boring to read the same thing over and over again. Also, the worksheets and exercises are unpractical because many of them requires immediate action, like, you have to write them down as soon as it happens but how? Am I supposed to write down every single thing I do? Unpractical.
I'd recommend this book only because I haven't read anything better about the same topic.

[Naila]

Sebagai seseorang yang sering merasa sedih ketika apa yang aku lakukan kurang memuaskan menurutku pribadi, buku ini cukup menarik. Lewat buku ini aku menjadi tahu apakah aku termasuk seseorang yang perfectionist atau tidak. Buku ini bersifat interaktif karena tidak hanya berisi tentang teori, namun juga berisi banyak pertanyaan atau jurnal yang bisa diisi. Dan aku bisa membaca buku ini lagi di lain waktu di momen tertentu~

[Maryam]

Well, even with all the time I took, I still didn't finish it. I think of it as a book that can give you the general concept on overcoming perfectionism. I felt like it could be more practical, with more practices, and with a more detailed and -well, practical- description.

[Sara]

خوب بود واقعا کمک کننده ست. بخصوص در کنار تراپی

[Sharice]

The self-help techniques in this book have taken me just under a year to complete. I initially started reading the book and then found myself procrastinating about the exercises (classic perfectionist behaviour!) I have found the boom useful on the whole, although some of the exercises just didn’t work for me. What I have appreciated the most is just realising how much of my life has been affected by perfectionism. I can’t say this book has “cured” me but it definitely has been food for thought.

[Sajjad]

کتاب بسیار خوبی
منتها در زمره کتابهای عملی ! یعنی شما برای اینکه تغییری در رفتارتون رخ بده باید جدو.ل و فرمهای که داده رو تکمیل کنید
اما اطلاعات جالبی داره ، مثلا اینکه کمال گرایی با اختلال وسواس و اضظراب اجتماعی در رابطه اس
و البته افراد کمال خواه ممکنه درگیر رفتارهای مخربی مثل اجتناب کاری و اهمال کاری بشن که فهمیدم مشکل من از این دسته اس

[Hicasliyok]

I dont think that this book helped for overcoming me but it helped for recognizing the perfectionism.

[Mohammad Varzandeh]

I think the writer is also suffering from perfectionism! Plenty of tables and instructions is confusable!

[Riccardo]

Perfectionism is a common feature of an array of disorders- eating disorders, anxiety disorders, OCD and OCPD. Cognitive behavioral theory sees it as being characterized by various cognitive distortions. The book gives a reasonable summary of CBT theory and treatment. It is somewhat dry as far as personal development books, but I guess CBT always is. Probably worth a read but don't expect to stay awake.

[Brittany]

A great primer on perfectionism with some worthwhile advice. If you think you might be a perfectionist and want to find out more, this is the place to start!

[Maedeh Mehry]

نجات‌دهنده‌ی آدم‌هایی که کمالگرایی، افسرده و مضطربشون کرده. این کتاب شفا میده.

[Alan Hamilton]

An excellent definition of the causes of perfectionism with some very useful exercises that force you to really think about the subject. The bottom line is that you have to spend time working through the exercises to get the benefit - there are no shortcuts!
As a result, it’s not the kind of book that you just dip in and out of.

[Kevin Zhang]

I got bored in the middle. But overall this is a helpful and easy read. It is a remainder of the obvious things we could do for ourselves that we have forgotten about with our overwhelming daily lives. Always remember to encourage yourself and be flexible with your thoughts and beliefs.

[Nadia Sotnikova]

I'm new to CBT, so it was a good intro with lots of exercises to help me start working through my perfectionism problems.

[Shirin Abdel Rahman]

Very useful book.

[Behnoud]

It was helpful.

[Lee D]

Not perfect, but a useful, relatable tool, which would be good as an ongoing reference point.

[Paige]

Practical and straightforward CBT approach. I think it would be difficult to implement this without therapy or some other support.

[Anissa Rezy]

Another overcoming series. I'll use some worksheet to help my clients

[Fatemeh Maleki]

در واقع من ۵۰ درصد کتاب رو خوندم و احتمالا ادامه اش رو بعدا میخونم کتاب خوبی بود به همرا کتاب و جلسات درمانی تا حد قابل قبولی کمال گراییم رو کنترل کردم.

[Sambasivan]

Short and practical book. Procrastination and perfectionism go hand in hand. You need to find the balance between the two. Scientifically approved suggestions. Well structured ideas. Go for it.

[Natalie Smith]

this book transformed my life in ways I didn't think it would

[Mickey]

Helpful paradigms to approach situations.

[Belle]

I read this book along with therapy and boy did it help. I didn’t understand that what I had was an actual issue you could understand as it’s own science. It takes you through not only what perfectionism is (in its many facets) but what perpetuates it. It’s not really concerned with how it is caused because, as it says in the book, you do not need to know the cause to find a solution. But does offer some suggestions. The thickness is intimidating but I’m finding it so useful to help me understand what is happening with me and also how to work through it. I only picked this one because it was backed with rigorous empirical evidence. Could not be more grateful for this book.

[Bahare]

معمولی بود
برای کمالخواهی من که آنچنان کمکی نکرد:/

[Morteza]

It gave me a good toolkit

[Maryam]

آقا من اینو از طاقچه خوندم فقط ۵۲ صفحه داشت مشکوک شدم. چرا اینقدر کمتره؟

[Nynke]

quite repetitive