I loved every page of this book!
We first meet Elan as he is traveling all the way from Manila to a smaller town to pick up his car from his friend, Juliana, who borrowed it but didn't return it when she was supposed to. Elan clearly has feelings for her (not that she knows it), and when he pulls up and sees her with another guy, he's taken aback. And just as he's about to leave, Caty, a total stranger, runs out of the house and tells him she needs a ride to the airport.
Elan is clearly frustrated but he doesn't say anything because he internalizes a lot of his feelings and is very careful not to express anger. Caty, as it turns out, is one of Juliana's childhood friends and it's her brother whom Juliana is seeing. Caty and Elan spend a few hours together before Caty flies back to Toronto, where she lives.
They are very much opposites; Elan is reserved and quiet, and Caty thinks he's uptight and boring when they first meet. Caty is... kind of a whirlwind. She's vivacious, but she knows she can rub people the wrong way--Elan included. He doesn't know what to make of her at first. But in her own way, despite being more extroverted, Caty also holds her cards close to her chest. They both have reasons for not knowing how to express their feelings very well. Their connection after this first meeting is undeniable.
I felt like there were no wasted words in this book. The book jumps forward in time to account for gaps between Caty and Elan seeing each other again. I had so many FEELINGS while reading this. Having been in a long-distance relationship before with someone who lived in another country, this book so perfectly captures a lot of bittersweet parts of wanting to be with someone who is so far away, especially the giddy but terrifying feeling of falling love with someone even though you have no idea when you'll see each other again and the excitement but dread of seeing them in person again after months and months of electronic communication.
Lanuza also captures the harder parts: questioning whether a relationship is even a good idea but not being able to stop yourself from constantly thinking about them, the constant texts and phone calls, the frustration, the heartache.
"I'm just so sick of staring at my phone," Caty said. "Every time you go to sleep, I can do anything I want, but I just end up waiting for you to wake up. What is that? I don't want to keep doing it. [...] I want to be present here, but I feel as if I'm in this bubble with you."
[...] Elan took a deep breath. Frustration and regret had swirled around him the whole day, but this felt like a sudden stop. [...] There was a heaviness in his chest, and it felt like there was a plastic bag over his head. He couldn't breathe, but he kept walking until he found a corner. He opened his mouth to catch his breath, but he let out a scream that echoed throughout the lot. The release made his knees buckle, so he crouched for a minute, put his head between his knees, and breathed slowly.
There are a lot of things they leave unsaid between them in those times they do spend together, but instead of frustrating me, I understood it. It's so hard to know what to say or when to say in long-distance relationships--especially for Elan and Caty, who never really establish that this is a relationship and not just a friendship.
Lanuza shows the ups and downs of LDRs; she doesn't gloss over how hard it is, but doesn't make it seem like it's all work with no benefits. Because this is a romance, they do get their HEA, and that in and of itself was bittersweet for me on a personal level (as someone whose LDR didn't ultimately work out). But it was really satisfying as a reader. This is a seriously talented writer, and I'm really happy she's publishing fiction like this.
CWs: References to domestic violence and childhood abuse in a character's past; references to a traumatic car accident in a character's youth.
(Note: I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.)