The Curse of the Werepenguin

Werepenguins #1

by Allan Woodrow

" Young Frankenstein meets The Princess Bride in the most hysterically hilarious book I've read in years."--Chris Grabenstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author

All orphan Bolt Wattle has ever wanted was to find his true family. When a mysterious baron in far-off Brugaria sends for Bolt, he wonders if he's getting closer to finding his long-lost parents. But Baron Chordata appears to be a twelve-year-old boy who wears tuxedos all the time, shouts at everyone, and forbids Bolt from asking questions. Things couldn't get any worse . . . until midnight, when the Baron bites Bolt and turns him into a half boy, half penguin. Then things really couldn't get worse-- nope, wait, they get a lot worse. With the help and hindrance of a plucky girl who just might be the world's greatest bandit, a whale cult led by a man whose weapon is a stale loaf of French bread, and a sinister but friendly fortune-teller who can't stop cackling, Bolt's on a quest to reverse the curse, return to human form, and stop the Baron from taking over the country of Brugaria with his army of mind-controlled penguins in what might be the weirdest--and funniest--middle-grade novel you've ever read.

Genres: Middle Grade, Fantasy, Humor, Fiction, Horror, Adventure, Childrens

Audio CD

First published August 13, 2019

About the author

Allan Woodrow is the author of more than thirty books for children, some written under secret names. His books include Unschooled, Class Dismissed, and The Pet War.

Allan often presents to schools, libraries and conferences. He is currently writing his next 12 novels, which are in various states of assembly.

Reviews

[Myra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had very high expectations for this book that showed up on NPR's best of 2019 list. It didn't quite meet those expectations. It's cute, but is a little too "everything is awful and nothing good can happen" (think Series of Unfortunate Events) for me.

[Paige · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I received this book from the publishing company. Thanks! All opinions are my own.

Book Series: Standalone

Rating: 4/5

Publication Date: August 13, 2019

Genre: MG Fantasy

Recommended Age: 10+ (little violence, werepenguins)

Publisher: Viking/Penguin Random House

Pages: 334

Amazon Link

Synopsis: All orphan Bolt Wattle has ever wanted was to find his true family. When a mysterious baron in far-off Brugaria sends for Bolt, he wonders if he's getting closer to finding his long-lost parents. But Baron Chordata appears to be a twelve-year-old boy who wears tuxedos all the time, shouts at everyone, and forbids Bolt from asking questions. Things couldn't get any worse . . . until midnight, when the Baron bites Bolt and turns him into a half boy, half penguin. Then things really couldn't get worse-- nope, wait, they get a lot worse. With the help and hindrance of a plucky girl who just might be the world's greatest bandit, a whale cult led by a man whose weapon is a stale loaf of French bread, and a sinister but friendly fortune-teller who can't stop cackling, Bolt's on a quest to reverse the curse, return to human form, and stop the Baron from taking over the country of Brugaria with his army of mind-controlled penguins in what might be the weirdest--and funniest--middle-grade novel you've ever read.

Review: Let me admit something. I did not think this was a serious book until I got it in the mail. The title was just so weird and I’d never heard of a werepenguin! But as I read the book I thought it was a perfect book for young readers. The characters were charming, the mystery and the back stories were well done, the writing is phenomenal, and the world building is amazing!

However, the book didn’t really grab my attention until about 100 pages in. That’s not a bad thing, I remember that this book isn’t geared for people like me, but it was a bit weird to get into. However, I do see where any younger kid would be instantly drawn into this amazing book!

Verdict: Funny, weird, and charming!

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a goofy heaping dose of Mel Brooks-style comedy (one of the blurbs on the back likened it to Young Frankenstein meets the Princess Bride, and I could definitely get Young Frankenstein vibes). Now I enjoyed that a lot and appreciated it, but since most target readers won't have that same frame of reference, they may not feel the same way. Still, I hope they can appreciate the silliness of everything this book has to offer. The illustrations add more chances to giggle. If this were a show I would 100% watch it and as there will be a sequel, I will 100% be reading that.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more than I did. It had kind of a Monty Python feel to it, but I just got bored. And kind of depressed, to be honest. I didn't like what happened to the protagonist, even though I guess it was a happy ending? I mean, I think it was supposed to be? I'm not sure why this book left me feeling blue, but it did. Cool concept, I'm sure others would like it more than I did

[Julie]

I gave this several tries, but either I was trying too hard or the author was. Several jokes, including a "Young Frankenstein"-esque Frau Blücher gag, were just completely run into the ground and I frankly got sick of it.

To be sure, it might work for the intended audience!

[Ninbooklover · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars 🌟

For a middle grade book this has some violent words in it tho. I've read the sentence "slit someone's throat" a couple of times already and didn't expect that. It was a really nice story about finding a family and know where you belong. Also the Baron is a annoying little prick 😂 The villagers are also annoying but they didn't know better. The characters are lovely and I love the concept of this book. The beginning reminded me a little bit of Dracula. I would definitely recommend this. Can't wait to read the second book!

[Kevin Hogg · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very clever story, with lots of wordplay, non-sequiturs, and ridiculous moments to keep the reader entertained. There are several flashbacks throughout, but they don't take away from the main narrative--they're pretty short and actually provide more depth and enjoyment. It was hard to tell where the story was going, particularly as multiple strange plot lines started to converge. The ending held several surprises and wrapped up enough to make it a satisfying ending. It provided an interesting twist on the "boy with a quest" story, and there are many unforgettable characters who make the story funny and unique. Looking forward to reading the sequel.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a three star for me but I am not the intended audience and if I was a pre-teen it would get the 4 stars. It is delightful and funny and clever. I do think much of the cleverness would go over the heads of the intended audience but I enjoyed it. Also, there was a feeling of Monty Python in some of the dialog and action. I think the authors had way too much fun writing this. But if you know a pre-teen - they will love it.

[Dan Blackley · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a Hoot! This is one crazy book that is funny and creative! I really enjoyed the premise and the fact that there's to be another one! I would recommend this book for all readers. It is a weird story but it is fun and has a great message.

[Gmr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Frankenstein and Young Frankenstein met Dracula, decided to introduce themselves to the Wolfman, while perhaps becoming blood brothers with the cast of Princess Bride? Ah, I see...well, neither did I, but that's a curious yet accurate summation of what you'll be getting between the pages of this Middle Grade Paranormal adventure, along with a great big helping of just how important FAMILY truly is...and fish. Lots and lots of fish.

Our unsuspecting leading man and potential hero, Humboldt Wattle (better known as Bolt), is quite the character indeed. Despite his less than exceptional start in life, he keeps hope alive, and his stuffed penguin at his side. He dreams of one day finding his true family, and even when things seem at their darkest, a seed of that precious hope remains. He keeps his heart pure, gives him strength to fight, and eventually leads him to...his ultimate purpose. Our second leading lad, Baron Chordata is a remarkable fella as well, but in much darker, cringe worthy ways with his darker goals, sinister threats, and easily tapped anger issues. I mean, he's been alone for a bit, so you can sort of understand how he might have turned from the lighter side of things, but yeah...not to this particular level. Let's just say that if anyone offers to be BFFs and you're distracted by some personal version of nirvana...take a break from the distraction to LISTEN to what's actually being said/agreed to! Our third leading guy is actually NOT a guy, but a GIRL...better known as Annika! Her history is just as twisted and sorted/assorted as the fellas mentioned before her...and yet she excels where she wishes to excel, conquers what needs conquering, and never let's anyone tell her what she can't do JUST because she's a girl. Grant it, she gets into trouble as easily as out of it, but that's all a part of learning, right? Right! But remember, there are SO MANY MORE characters that you'll want to PAY ATTENTION to along the way because you NEVER KNOW where connections are going to come from.

So, while you thought you were simply getting an exciting new paranormal adventure fit for middle grade readers and beyond, NOW you know better! You're getting that plus a whole other barrel of fish that'll have you REALLY thinking the next time you consider the penguins at your local zoo habitat and just what they have been up to lately...


**ARC provided for review; opinions are my own

[Becky B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bolt Wattle has been fairly content in his orphan status at the home. Afterall, he got his name from bolting under the bed every time potential parents came to visit. He knows whoever left him on the front step is coming for him. But then he finds himself whisked off to Brugaria because he's been adopted by a Baron Chordata...whose name strikes fear in all the town villagers when he asks for directions. Not a hopeful sign. And it only gets worse as Bolt finds himself a pawn in the Baron's plans for world takeover with a horde of vicious penguins, a werepenguin Bolt, some pushover bandits, and lots of raw fish. Can Bolt figure out how to thwart the Baron's plans before he's permanently an evil werepenguin?

If you like Lemony Snicket's tone in A Series of Unfortunate Events, you'll want to go speeding to your nearest book source to get this. It is satirical, tongue-in-cheek, and makes fun of all the horror fantasy tropes. Oh, and it has lots of vicious penguins (which according to some South African ranger friends of mine is a fairly accurate representation of the cute but surprisingly dangerous birds). As a penguin-lover and satire appreciator, I thoroughly enjoyed this and read it all in one day. Now to find the sequels.

Notes on content: No language issues. No sexual content beyond some hand-holding. There are threats with pitchforks and penguin beaks and it is hinted there were past deaths but none on page.

[Jasen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read aloud that had been lingering on my Want-To-Read shelf forever. My young one wants to read #2 so that another recommendation.

“The manor stood upon the lawn, as cheerful as a gray, festering wound. If ever a place was haunted, it was this one. Actually, Bolt thought ghost would be too afraid to haunt it.” P.58-59

“Well, maybe he had a little desire, which was odd, because he had never felt the urge to bark before. Yet, something about the barking did seem enticing. And felt familiar, as if a bark had been sitting inside him for his entire life. At one point, both opened his mouth, but then swallowed the bark that wanted to come out.
He swallowed repeatedly, hoping to tuck the yearning to bark back to wherever it had been hiding. All his swallowing did, however, was making him thirsty.” P.88

“”Sacrifice!” yelled the crowd, which Bolt realized was what they had been saying all along, and it made a lot more sense than “sack of rice.” He blushed a little.” P.187

“All of Bolt’s dream spilled out out of him like he was a ripped bag of groceries, jars of hope smashed, boxes of promise emptied, cartons of longing shaken, poured out, and crushed. 215

“The penguin caretaker looked at me with a combination of pity and resignation, or perhaps a combination of revulsion and nausea, or a combination of patience and hypothermia, or perhaps none of those. Like a book without punctuation, he was hard to read.” P.227

[MeganRuth - Alohamora Open a Book · Rating 4 out of 5]

"If something seems to good to be true, it probably isn't good at all."

Friendship, family, werepenguins (which are sorta like werewolves but not b/c their penguins), bandits, and finding out who you really are is a pretty great and unique combination when it comes to a book. The Curse of the Werepenguin is creative, fun, and not what you'd expect. It's the perfect scary, but not scary at all, kind of book that most any age can enjoy.

Rating: 4/5 stars
Best For: 9-13 year olds, fans of scary but not too scary books.
# of Pages: 352
Clean Read: Yes. There is action and suspense though.
Worth a Check Out: Yes.
Buy It or Not: A strong maybe. It's a fun creative story about penguins, bandits, family, and more. It'd make a great addition to a classroom collection.
Read Aloud: Yes. It'd make for a great read aloud with your kids or class. I love the concept of family can be anyone.

Some of my fav quotes:
"They are a family, and families should not be split up."

"He thought it was a much better option to runaway then to face possible unfortunate outcomes."

"We are in a strange country; people act strangely. Otherwise they wouldn't call it strange."

"Like a book without punctuation, he was hard to read."

"He knew he was their only hope. The Penguins only hope, but deep down it all felt very hopeless."

[Geordie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poor friendless orphan Bolt is adopted by a mad, power-hungry baron who, it is sinisterly revealed, is in truth a werepenguin! Can Bolt gain the trust and self-confidence he needs to resist the allure of becoming a werepenguin as well, or is he doomed to be a lackey in the baron's ruthless penguin army?

So, yeah, this is a silly book. And generally there's nothing wrong with that. Some audiences like the goofy and the silly, and this is very much a kids book, so I shouldn't complain. However, where Curse of the Werepenguin face-plants is, it is LONG. Why on earth does a light-hearted, comedy kids' book need to be 333 pages long? It is long and it feels long, with so many repeated situations and jokes. I don't know how many times there was a serious set up and then someone broke the tension with a goofy non sequitur. Forty? Fifty? And after all those times that semi-serious stakes were undercut, the book tries to have a maudlin message about family at the end. It's too late to try to be grown-up now, CotWP! The same jokes were repeated over and over, and some of them were lazy the first time.

This was never going to be a classic meant for all ages, but it would have been a lot better if it were a hundred pages shorter. It eventually becomes boring, practically a slog. Kids' writers can do better.

[Judith von Kirchbach · Rating 4 out of 5]

An orphan looking for his parents, a mean child-baron in a castle, a village under siege, bandits who plunder in the forest, and more. This zippy adventure will keep the attention of many tween readers.

This funny adventure takes a predictable plot and turns it on its side, adds humor and absurdity, and lets the reader enjoy the fabulous results. The pacing of The Curse of the Werepenguin is excellent; fast, with moments when the narrator jumps in that let the reader take a breath and think about the plot. This could easily have been a formulaic story, but that goes out the window as soon as author Allan Woodrow brings in the whale cult led by a guy who wields a stale loaf of French bread as a weapon, the friendly/sinister fortune teller, and of course, the premise of werepenguins who do battle by the light of the moon. Everything ties together in the end, and there’s a wonderful focus on how important family is, no matter what form it takes.

[Nick · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was hoping this would be one I could read with my daughter. It didn't quite make it, more because of library circulation rules than the actual book itself.

This book was . . . not good. It was long, well into 300 pages, and the time was filled with a ton of non-sequitur and running gags. They were cute, until they weren't cute, it was fun until it wasn't fun. It was hard when the comedic aspect kept pulling you out of the story. It put me to sleep two or three times, and not in a good way.

However, it ended well. The characters had redeemable arcs. There wasn't anything that shouldn't be in a kid's book. No political agenda clumsily shoved into the reader's face. It wrapped up nicely. These elements alone are worth an extra star. If I had gotten to enjoy it with my kids it may have bumped up a star. This thing is simply too long for it's own good.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this would be more consistently slapstick based on the description and the reviews I had read. I think the last third of the book was the funniest, and Annika's efforts to be the most feared and vicious bandit were consistently amusing. I suppose being a mother makes Bolt's plight as an unclaimed orphan too sad for me to find funny.

My youngest two children enjoyed listening to this a lot. It was quite the challenge to remain consistent with all the characters' voices, especially since I have them different accents, some of which I suspect were grossly innacurate! 🤣

[Bridget Neace · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was honestly a 2-star rating for me, but I think the target audience would rate it 3-4 stars, so I gave an extra star.

There were a few lines that made me literally laugh out loud at the wit. However, you know how usually in a group (always in sitcoms, sometimes in real life) there's that one person who's ALWAYS "ON," so to speak? Trying soooooo damn hard to be funny, which makes sometimes funny/sometimes cringe-y/frequently annoying? This gave that vibe a LOT...just trying so damn hard to be funny too much.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very Series of Unfortunate Events-esque. Strong themes of family at the end, but had a meandering path to finally get to the rising action and climax. The humorous writing was what kept teeth in the game for a long expedition through plot points. Somehow it wrapped up neatly in the end, with the stories interlacing in an enjoyable way.

Bolt, an orphan, is finally adopted and is sure this is his real family wanting him anew. Instead, he learns Baron Chordata, an evil young man, is his new BFF. Bandits, villagers, and penguins all fighting for and against evil.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This middle grade read is a bit off the wall, and the boys (9 & 11) and I enjoyed it very much. Humbolt (Bolt), an orphan boy hoping for a family, is summoned to live with a mysterious (but not well liked) Baron in a strange, cold Transylvainaesque wilderness. It's chock full of interesting characters including penguins, fortune tellers, lowly housekeepers, plucky bandits (who may or may not have read the bandit code), the stale bread wielding whale brotherhood (or sisterhood or whatever) and more. It's really different ... and quite entertaining.

[Hannah Belyea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bolt desperately clings to the hope that the mysterious Baron adopting him will be the family he has always dreamed of - only to learn that his new town full of penguin-fearing townsfolk and bandits, is under threat from a werepenguin...one who bears a birthmark eerily similar to his own...Woodrow and Brown will entertain young readers with this comedically creepy story, its odd characters and bizarre - albeit repetitive - humour sure to have kids chuckling start to finish. Can Bolt find a place to call home before he ends up the Baron's next victim?

[Megan Farve · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first saw the title I thought “what?!” and I knew I had to read it. I mean, “werepenguin”?! So I gave it a shot and I’m glad I did.

The author has a somewhat similar writing style to Lemony Snickett which I truly enjoyed, so if you enjoyed An Unfortunate Series of Events you make like this book as well. I also enjoyed the artwork of Scott Brown. I wish there had been more of his drawings in the book.

[Joni Curtis · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first order of business, I listened to the audio version. The narration is beyond excellent. The story itself is hilarious especially if I were between 9-13 years old. It is full of surprise humorous twists that will help the adults reading aloud. It is LONG but once you get a few chapters in, it moves quickly. I can't wait to listen to this again but with middle-grader so I can compare my immature sense of humor with theirs.

[Ashley Verity · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't laughed this hard out loud during a book since Good Omens. I want Dream Works to get cracking at the animated franchise. Henry Zebrowski must voice Gunther. I stand firm on this. Hurry, before we lose Mel Brooks because he has to have a cameo! Fun for all ages. Get it for the next family trip.

[Hayden · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful, quirky book for the middle grade reader. Funny and suspenseful with a pitch-perfect sense of adolescent irreverence. Allan Woodrow keeps the pages turning with ample action, compelling characters and the creepy, Transylvania-like setting of the Brugarian Forest. Fifth and sixth graders looking to transition from "Last Kids on Earth" to longer reads will love it!

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Verbose but funny. I think it's perfect for 9-12 year olds who like silly stories with some mystery mixed in. I read it with my 9 year old and we had a good time. The illustrations are great but I think my 9 year old would have liked more of them.

[Kenali · Rating 4 out of 5]

The moment I saw the title for this book, I knew I had to read it! It’s definitely a great book for middle school readers. The humor is a little to on the nose at some points but a younger crowd will really enjoy it.

[Nicole C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Middle-grades fiction in the orphan-boy- becomes-hero vein, with a slightly different spin - the mythical creature this time is a were-penguin. Overall, I found it enjoyable, especially the puns and the self-referential dialogue.

[Ashwini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not the greatest of reads but good enough to keep you engrossed and more importantly you don’t feel like putting this book down, you know what I mean. Loved the characters and the story line. Read if you are in a mood for a funny, whimsical and fantastical journey.

[Simone · Rating 4 out of 5]

A super fun, goofy read for kids 3rd+, or adults who enjoy Pratchett or Young Frankenstein. It imagine it would make an awesome audiobook as well, though then you wouldn't get the amazing illustrations.