Roman by Polanski

by Roman Polański

Roman Polanski reveals in detail the mosaic of his life. He talks of his childhood in Nazi-occupied Poland; Lodz Film School in the 1950s; Paris in his early struggles to become recognized as a director; and London and Hollywood in the 60s when he first won international acclaim. We follow him through his marriages and friendships; and with him we experience the full force of the tragedy that struck when his wife Sharon Tate and several close friends were brutally murdered by the Manson family. There followed years of disenchantment and self enquiry; arrest and imprisonment on charges alleging the rape of a minor, and finally his professional and personal resurgence in France.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Film, Autobiography, Memoir, Polish Literature, Audiobook

448 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

Roman Polanski (born Rajmund Roman Liebling) is an Academy Award-winning Polish-French film director, writer, actor, and producer. After beginning his career in Poland, Polanski became a celebrated arthouse filmmaker, and Hollywood director of such films as Rosemary's Baby (1968) and Chinatown (1974).

Shortly after the young Polanski’s family settled in Kraków, Poland, his parents were interned in a Nazi concentration camp, where his mother died. Polanski escaped internment and survived the war years by finding occasional refuge with Catholic families and often fending for himself. At age 14 he appeared on the stage, later acting in films directed by Andrzej Wajda, the leading figure in the Polish film revival of the 1950s. Polanski studied directing at the State School of Cinema in Łódź. By the time he graduated in 1959, he had already directed several award-winning short films. He made the French film Le Gros et le maigre (1961; The Fat and the Lean) and then returned to Poland to direct his first full-length feature, Nóż w wodzie (1962; Knife in the Water), a tense psychological study of sexual rivalry that brought him international fame.

After he left Poland in 1962, Polanski made several major films in Great Britain and the United States. Repulsion (1965) traces the psychotic breakdown of a young woman whose fear and loathing of sex drive her to commit several murders. The dark comedies Cul-de-Sac (1966) and The Fearless Vampire Killers, or Pardon Me but Your Teeth Are in My Neck (1967) followed. Rosemary’s Baby (1968) is a thriller about a young New York City wife who unwittingly bears a child by the devil. Polanski’s second wife, the Hollywood actress Sharon Tate, was pregnant when she was brutally murdered (along with four others) by Charles Manson and his acolytes in 1969. The violence of her death influenced his next film, Macbeth (1971), a gory yet artistically effective adaptation of the play by William Shakespeare. Chinatown (1974) reinvigorated the moribund film noir genre. These films were notable for their careful buildup of mood and suspense, their subtle handling of human psychology, and their fascination with evil in its various forms.

In 1977 Polanski was arrested and eventually pleaded guilty to a charge of unlawful intercourse with a minor. He subsequently jumped bail and fled to France, where he remained active in both the theatre and motion pictures. His subsequent films include Tess (1979), based on Thomas Hardy’s novel Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Frantic (1988), a suspense film, Bitter Moon (1992), an erotic comedy, and Death and the Maiden (1994), a psychological drama adapted from a play by the Chilean author Ariel Dorfman. In 1989 Polanski married the French actress Emmanuelle Seigner, who starred in Frantic, Bitter Moon, and the 1999 mystery The Ninth Gate. The Pianist (2002), which tells the true story of Władyslaw Szpilman’s survival of the Nazi-occupation of Poland during World War II, shared much in common with Polanski’s own childhood experience and earned the Palme d’Or at the Cannes International Film Festival and a best director Oscar for Polanski. He followed that with Oliver Twist in 2005.

Reviews

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is one of the best written autobiographies I've ever read, along with Agatha Christie's. Not only is Polanski a great writer, but he's a fabulous raconteur and a pretty honest judge of his own strengths and weaknesses. You may think you have insight to Polanski's character after watching his films, but this book added yet another layer to this complex, fascinating man.

I love, love, love the way he dishes about celebrities like John Cassavetes, Donald Pleasance, Mia Farrow, and Peter Sellers. But it's his stories about his childhood in Poland and his marriage to Sharon Tate that send me reaching for my box of tissues. In his book Crackpot, John Waters writes, "Polanski's autobiography Roman perhaps best articulates the endless loss and unsuspected ramifications that occur when a loved one is murdered." He's damn right.

And though I'm happily married and about 23 years too old for Roman's taste, something deep in me yearns to play Lolita to his Humbert Humbert. Sweet, sweet Roman, you are my ultimate fantasy prom date. Only our outing wouldn't have ended up with a 20-year prison sentence.

[Sarvenaz Taridashti · Rating 5 out of 5]

یک مرحبا بدهکارم به مترجمِ این کتاب: خانم آزاده اخلاقی.

[Yasmin M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before reading this I had no idea who Roman Polanski was. I am not that much in to movies and I prefer books, but I really enjoyed this book. I gave five stars to it because it's not just a story, it has all the elements necessary for a "life". He has a special rhythm that could be felt deeply through the pages. For instance, he talks more about his loved ones, or people he respected and now is possibly trying to apologize from, etc. When he is talking about his awards and his stardom, he barely explains, he just goes like "oh yeah, and that one won an Oscar".
Reading about his life was so amazing. This book was amazingly put together, as if he is talking right now. I like the way he kept everything so organized, when he is talking about his childhood, he doesn't confuse it with who he is now. I mean he even gives you the feeling of a child. This goes for all his life stages.
I am glad I read this book. This was my first book in the "cinema lit" genre, although I know that's not what it really is :) it was also the first book I spilled coffee on after 10 years. I guess this means I am back in the game!

[Boris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Неочаквано въздействащ мемоар. Беше ми много интересно детството на Полански, бягащ от нацистите и концлагерите. После студентските му и ранни филмови години леко ме отегчиха, докато не дойде моментът, в който започва да работи по “Бебето на Розмари”. Там интересът ми отново се възбуди чак до самият край. Мемоарите му за Шарън Тейт и убийството ѝ беше най-тъжната част. Този човек може да пише така, че да те развълнува. И то не защото пише красиви слова, а ги нарежда така, че да те предизвика- емоционално, интелектуално. Каквито са и филмите му всъщност. Много ми хареса.

[El_kiablo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The general consensus on Polanski is bifurcated: on the one hand, he's respected as a director, on the other he's infamous as a rapist. This book will justify both opinions. His discussion of his life is interesting and well told, covering everything from his youth in the Jewish ghetto in Poland during the second World War, his wife's death at the Manson Family's hands, and of course his films like Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown. He also regularly comes across as chauvinistic, referring to the female lead of his film knife in the water as a "cow", mentioning multiple times across decades that he had trysts with women he knew were in their early teens, and describing the rape case that was his downfall without a lot of self awareness. It's clear that he blames the victim for the crime, which is pretty gross.

Polanski seems to think that explaining his side of the story will change people's minds. I can't imagine anyone being budged in either way by this. He has a lot of good show-biz stories; he also has no hesitation about describing his love affair with a 15 year old Natassia Kinski while he was on trial for raping a 13 year old. In the end, parts of this book are enjoyable, but overall it's pretty problematic.

[Abdullah H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give it ten stars, I would.
It is now my favorite book I have EVER read.
Sorry The Godfather, sorry Memoirs of an Invisible Man.

Mr. Polanski is a director and his life is something out
of a movie - more scary at times than the horror films he
has successfully directed.
His advice for writers, filmmakers, actors is priceless.
His words of wisdom are full of, well, wisdom.
Mr. Polanski talks to you and explains what really happened
that night in LA which caused him to abandon LA (where
his love was massacred by the Manson family) and take up refuge in Europe.
Anjelica Huston would later support this truth in her own book, 2015, "Watch Me."
He tells stories on the set of his film - my favorite:
the stories on the set of Chinatown -- with Jack (what a guy) and Faye Dunaway.
I could write pages and pages about this book, which I plan on reading again one day.

It took me two years to read because i did not want it to end.

Read it and see what I mean.
As for Roman Polanski. He is a master at his craft.

[Amir · Rating 5 out of 5]

What more can I say about this masterpiece?

[no elle · Rating 1 out of 5]

the chapter about how he raped a child is legit the most disturbing shit ive ever read love that this has a 4.12 on here lmao no brain ass idiots

[Tahmineh Baradaran · Rating 3 out of 5]

اهل تماشای فیلمهای ترسناک نیستم ولی فیلمهای پولانسکی هراس انگیزترین ها بوده اند . چند سال پیش دیدن دوباره فیلم بچه رزماری با سختی کماکان همان هول و هراس باراول را برایم داشت به ویژه صحنه آخر پس ازبه دنیا آمدن کودک. چند فیلم دیگراورا دوست دارم مثلا" دروازه نهم و محله چینی ها.
کودکی سخت درلهستانِ موردهجوم آلمان نازی، سختی های بسیار و پشتکار و نبرد فراوان درزندگی برای رسیدن به آن کسی که امروز شناخته می شود. ناهنجاریهای بسیار رفتاری ( که شاید در سینمای غرب مرسوم باشد . نمیدانم ) و بالاخره داستان قتل وحشتناک همسرباردارش . داستان زندگی شخصیش ازکودکی تا جوانی خود ظرفیت ساخت فیلم دارد.
کتاب حتما" برای حرفه ای های سینما بسیارجالب خواهد بودوازاجازه ارشادبرای چاپ کتاب تعجب کردم.
" ناامنی که درپنج شش سالگی تجربه کرده بودم وقتی ناگهان خانواده ام ازهم پاشید و سرگردان به حال خودرهاشدم. ازآن به بعد برای این که اذیت نشوم سعی کردم ازهرنوع تعهد وایجادعاطفه ی عمیق جلوگیری کنم. می دانستم که ناامنی درهررابطه ای وجوددارد. ترس ازدست دادن هرگزرهایم نمی کرد . می دانستم هرنوع وابستگی عاطفی خطردل شکستگی رابه همراه دارد.حتی نگهداری ازیک سگ خانگی دعوتی به اندوه بود."

[Darcie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating to read his own thoughts about his early life in Poland under the Nazis, film school, working with Catherine Deneuve, his courtship and marriage to Sharon Tate, the casting of Rosemary's Baby, the Manson murders, the filming of Chinatown and Tess, and of course his arrest, incarceration, and escape from the US. Completed in 1984, I'd love to read a second volume that would cover his latest marriage and fatherhood, filming The Pianist, and the latest developments on his court case. Maybe when that wraps up he'll write Part Two? If you are interested in Hollywood history, the Sixties, the Manson murders, filmmaking, and/or the man himself, you will want to read this book.

[Mandana. · Rating 5 out of 5]

یکی از بهترین اتوبیوگرافی‌هایی که تا حالا خوندم. شوکه‌کننده، لذت‌بخش، صادقانه، هیجان‌انگیز و خیلی جاها حتی ظریف و لطیف و موشکافانه. پولانسکی این‌جا از گفتن واقعیت، چه راجع به خودش چه دیگران هیچ ابایی نداره.

شیفته‌ی توصیفاتش از فرانسواز دورلئاک و میا فارو و پیتر سلرز و جک نیکلسن و خیلی‌های دیگه شدم، با روایت‌هاش از کودکی دردناکش و مرگ مادرش توی آشوویتس و تعریف زندگی‌ش با شرون تیت و مرگ دلخراش اون و بچه‌ی دنیانیومده‌ش تا مرز اشک‌ریختن پیش رفتم، گناهش و ترسش از روبرو شدن با گناهش رو حس کردم و همه‌ی این‌ها بهم نشون داد که پولانسکی حتّا خارج از چارچوب سینما هم داستان‌سرای قهّاری می‌تونه باشه.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of those lifechanging moments, me reading this when i was 16, then again when i was 20, then a couple of years ago. i just love me some polanski. i know he's a sicko, that he has major issues, but i love his brain and his methods and his values and his weasley little beady eyes. worth it for his bruce lee descriptions alone.

[Saša · Rating 5 out of 5]

Too bad it was written in 1980s; events following that period would have made a gripping sequel.

[Ola · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish there were more people like him and less of those, who judge him without knowing a thing.

[Sina · Rating 4 out of 5]

کارگردانی تحت شعاع پرونده تجاوز.

همیشه این مسئله برام وجود داشت که آیا روش درست و انسانی این است که به آثار خلافکاران و متجاوزان به اصطلاح "محل نگذاریم" یا میتوان از آنها لذت برد؟ در نهایت به این نتیجه رسیدم: با اینکه عذابی در حین دیدن فیلم گریبانم را میگیرد آنها را میبینم یا میخوانم، به شرطی که آن فرد در تصویر نباشد! دقیقا همانطور که به طور کلی از کشتار حیوانات بیزارم و مراسم مختلف قربانی کردن را تقبیح میکنم اما از خوردن آنها، به شرطی که جلوی من انجام نگیرد لذت میبرم!
شاید همین مسئله، همین تفکر ساده باعث میشود که خیلی از افراد نتوانند احساس قربانیان را به طور صحیح درک کنند و واکنش کلی اکثریت جوامع نسبت به یک قربانی به طور کلی اشتباه و پر ایراد است.
حال اینکه در هر مسئله 2 طرف را باید شنید و به طور کلی اگر یک نوجوان میتواند جلوی دوربین یک بزرگسال برهنه شود و مواد مخدر و الکل مصرف کند اما نمیتواند رابطه برقرار شود خودش تا حدودی پارادوکسیکال است به کنار، این وظیفه بزرگسال است که تمام و کمال قوانین را رعایت کند.
شاید بیشتر از اینکه دنبال خاطرات و تجربیات پولانسکی باشم هدفم از خواندن این کتاب صرفا مسائل حاشیه ای و زندگی عجیب و غریبش بود، از قتل خانواده توسط خانواده منسون گرفته تا فرار از دست نازی ها و فرار از دست قانون.

اما این کتاب، بدون توجه به مسائل پیرامونش، یک اتوبیوگرافی قدرتمند است. صراحت کلام و طفره نرفتن از بعضی مسائل، هرچند صرفا از دید شخص خود پولانسکی نوشته شده، باعث میشود که بتوان این کتاب را یک اثر پر بار دانست. به طور کلی از سینمای بلوک شرق خوشم می آید، تاریکی هایی که در طول 200 سال گذشته تجربه کرده اند در تمام آثار هنری مشخص است. صراحت در تک تک کلمات و تصاویر و نقاشی ها و کناره گیری نکردن از واقعیت های جامعه اکثرا آثاری تلخ و واقعی را عرضه کرده است.

در اکثر هنرها، شاید بجز موسیقی و تا حدودی مجسمه سازی، زن به عنوان یک "آبجکت" مهمترین عنصر سوژه مورد نظر بوده و هست. صنعت فیلمسازی مدرن سعی کرده تا حدودی از این حقیقت فاصله بگیرد اما تفاوت ها جزئی است و آثاری مانند "آبی گرم ترین رنگ است" مثالی از این تغییر است. بسیاری از این هنرمندان، به مانند سالوادور دالی و پابلو پیکاسو و پولانسکی، به طور واضح و مبرهن با موجودیت زن "obsessed" هستند. برای تغییر این مسئله نیاز شدید به تغییر رویه در انواع فرهنگ ها و تفکر ها مورد نیاز است که احتمالا در زندگی نسل های بعد از من هم به وجود نخواهد آمد.

امیدوارم روزی را ببینم که هم مردان و هم زنان دست به کار شوند تا برابری واقعی به وجود بیاید و وقتی صبح از خانه خارج میشویم و شب به خانه برمیگردم، در کوچه ها و خیابان ها شاهد مسائل تکان دهنده نباشیم و آنها را از خانه طبقه بالایی یا پایینی نشنویم و در مورد آنها در وبسایت های مختلف و توییتر و ... نخوانیم.

[Catarina C · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say? Would be unfair if one refused to read this novel purely due to Polanski's poorly life choices.
It's gripping, contentious and moving. Above all, one of the best nonfiction I've ever experienced.

[Nima Eghtedari · Rating 5 out of 5]

می‌دانم که همه، مرا آدمی پلید و بد ذات می‌نامند، کوتوله‌ای هرزه و بی‌بند بار، دوستانم و زنان زندگی‌ام، مرا بهتر می‌شناسند. زنان زیادی به خاطر بدنامی و رسوایی‌ام (به خصوص پس از ماجرای لس‌آنجلس) به شدت مشتاق ملاقات با من هستند و وقتی می‌بینند آن کسی که انتظار دارند نیستم؛ توی ذوق‌شان می‌خورد. یک دنیا بدفهمی، سوءتفاهم و تحریف محض و دروغ‌های فاحش درباره‌ی من ساخته و پرداخته شده است؛ کسانی که مرا نمی‌شناسند، غول بی‌شاه و دمی از من ساخته‌اند و تصور یک سره غلطی راجع به شخصیت من دارند، شایعاتی که با قدرت رسانه‌ها شاخ وبرگ پیدا کرده‌اند. رسانه‌ها همیشه تصویری غلط از شخصیت‌های معروف درست می‌کنند و تا ابد هم دست از سر آدم برنمی‌دارند. من خودم می‌دانم که کی هستم، چه کارهایی کرده و چه کارهایی نکرده‌ام...
.
کتاب شرح حال یکی از مهم ترین و بهترین کارگردان های زنده ی سینما رومن پولانسکی به روایت خودش است شرح حالی اعتراف گونه که نظیرش را بعید است بتوان میان هنرمندان یافت. او از کودکی سخت خود در لهستان و کشته شدن مادرش توسط نازی ها میگوید از تصمیم به فیلم سازی و بازیگری ،از ماجرای ساختن تک تک فیلمهایش،از روابط عاشقانه اش ،از ماجرای دردناک قتل همسرباردارش توسط گروهی قاتل ،از دوران افسردگیش ،از دوران بی پولی و شکستهایش ،از مصرف مواد و بی بند وباری هایش ،از تجاوز به دختری 13 ساله ،از روزهای زندان و محاکمه اش،از فرار از آمریکا و روزهای سختی که هنوز هم ادامه دارد او هنوز هم به خیلی از کشورها نمیتواند سفر کند او در سال 2003 برای کارگردانی پیانیست اسکار برد اما به علت فراری بودن به امریکا نرفت و جایزه را دریافت نکرد او در این کتاب خود واقعیش را برای شما شرح می دهد.

[Stephen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm the kind of critic, regardless of how I feel about any of the bad things an artist has said or done in their life, their work is judged on its own merit. Roman Polanski's autobiography from 1984 is a comprehensive piece of writing, covering his entire life chronologically up to that point in his 40s: his early family life in Poland when occupied by the Nazis during World War 2, film school, his obsession with young girls (which he never apologizes for, which is crazy, I know), the Sharon Tate murder by the Manson gang, his having sex at 44 years old with, as he tells it, a willing thirteen year old girl when he was doing a Vogue photoshoot at Jack Nicholson's house, and all of the filmmaking process of every film he did, including Knife in the Water, Rosemary's Baby, Chinatown, What?, The Tenant, Tess, and everything in between. A scum bag, but a brilliant one at that. It's been 40 years since then, so he should write another one. I've seen several of his films and generally enjoy them. He went on to make so many other notable films. He's 90 years old, still living in France to escape US extradition for his 1979 rape charge, and still making movies. He had one in 2023 which I still need to see. Despite his questionable morality, I can't deny this book is a fascinating read.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Polanski wrote his autobiography in straight forward prose which makes for an easy read. He endured at a very young age more than most people could ever live through yet still moved on to a full life. His later tragedies were more proof of his strength. He came across as human and didn't necessarily hide his later escapades, but space limited the amount of detail. No matter what opinion the reader may hold of him, his brilliance as an artist, writer and filmmaker is not to be denied.

[Negin · Rating 4 out of 5]

روایت بی پرده وزنده از شخصیت مردی که همیشه درموردش احساسات متناقض داشتم از زبون خودش
با زندگی عجیبی که خودش یه فیلم سینمایه واین اعتراف حیرت انگیز که خیلی جاها باهاش احساس همذات پنداری کردم
کتاب برای هر عشق سینمالذت بخشه البته روایت ساده وسیالش برای هرکسی میتونه لذت بخش باشه

[Maciek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes truth is more fascinating than fiction. Roman by Polanski is a prime example - an insight into the long, hard road walked by one of the greatest contemporary directors.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Talk about being born under an unlucky star. Nazis AND Charles Manson.

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

what a creep honestly. But an interesting read.

[Karolina Stasica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Bardzo intymna książka. Autor podaje wiele szczegółów dotyczących swojego życia, nawet te, którymi niekoniecznie warto się chwalić. Polanski to przykład człowieka, który mimo trudności dawał radę swoim talentem i ciężką pracą osiągać każdy kolejny cel. Ambicja i pewność siebie wypływają ze stron tej książki, nie brakuje również wrażliwości i emocjonalności. Jego podejście do życia i podejmowane decyzje niejednokrotnie zaskakują czytelnika. Fani kina również się nie zawiodą. Autor umieszcza wiele anegdot z planów zdjęciowych i opisuje powstawanie każdego ze swoich filmów. Naprawdę niesamowicie wciągająca lektura. Polanski potrafi skrytykować siebie oraz ocenić po czasie swoje zachowania i wybory. Szczere refleksje nadają tej książce wrażenie, jakby czytelnik był bliskim przyjacielem reżysera. Najlepsza autobiografia 5/5

[Monika M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Niezwykle ciekawe życie opowiedziane w równie ciekawy sposób. Niestety jednak stracilam sympatię do autora.

[Greta Cribbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to write about this one. At first, I was going to try and review Roman Polanski's autobiography without mentioning my thoughts about the rape conviction, but I realized I can't do that. That event is a huge part of this story, and my feelings about that are a huge part of my reaction to the book.

I'm going to try and be as concise as possible, but I apologize in advance if I start to ramble a bit. This one had me feeling some big feelings.

Reading the story of Roman Polanski's life is kind of like watching a television show and getting heavily invested in this one character whom you come to love and want to root for because, gosh, he's just been through so dang much and he deserves a break, only to have a new batch of writers come in during one of the later seasons who completely destroy his story arc, leaving you seething with anger because it should have ended differently.

Part of me can't hate Roman Polanski, and here's why. This is going to sound odd, but learning about his life story humanized Sharon Tate for me. Let me explain. I don't remember a time when I hadn't heard of the Manson Family. The murders happened before I was born, so it was always part of the fabric of the world I grew up in. It was just a fact that everyone knew about, and when I think back on my awareness of it, it seems like I always knew about it. And if you know about Manson Family you know about Sharon Tate.

My parents had a copy of the book Helter Skelter on their bookshelf. A horror buff since the age of four (when I saw Poltergeist for the first time) I was fascinated by the macabre, and few events in recent history are as macabre as the Tate-Labianca murders. I remember being very young and thumbing through the pictures that were included in my parent's copy of that book. They were all black and white, and the bodies were whited out, so the level of gore was softened somewhat, but you could still see the pools of blood on the floor and the bloody writing on the walls. I remember my mom telling me about a magazine article that had full color pictures that showed more than she ever wanted to see of that crime scene. I, with my morbid curiosity, was disappointed that I didn't have the opportunity to see that.

And I remember my mom talking about Sharon Tate. I remember her getting very emotional as she recalled this beautiful young woman whose life was cut way too short and who would never get to meet the baby she had carried for nearly nine months. I remember shaking my head at what I considered my mother's overreaction.

Remember how I said these murders were a part of the fabric of the world I grew up in? For those of us, and I guess we make up most of the world's population now, who were born after these events occurred, pretty much the first thing we learn when we hear about Sharon Tate is the fact that she was brutally murdered. So my reaction to my mother's tearful ruminations were something along the lines of, "Well, duh, of course she was murdered by the Manson Family. She was Sharon Tate for crying out loud!" From my point of view as a child in the 80s, her murder was a primary aspect of her identity. There was nothing shocking about it. It was just who she was.

Then, a couple of months ago, I watched a documentary about Roman Polanski, and there was a clip from the press conference he gave a couple of weeks after the murders. And something clicked in my mind. Suddenly, seeing her through his eyes, I finally understood the full extent of the tragedy. I finally was able to see the person she was before she was killed. And I realized that she deserves to be remembered as something more than just a victim of a brutal murder. If you've never seen that press conference, I highly recommend watching it. It can be found here: https://youtu.be/GItLgqIUrUs?si=eqyQy...

So, back to Roman Polanski. In discussing the topic of his second marriage, a lot of people will point out that he was not a very good husband. I do tend to agree with them. And I wonder how long their marriage would have lasted if Sharon had lived. Because I'm sure he would have continued cheating on her, and she would have continued to be bothered by that. And very likely, as happens with many couples after a baby comes into their world, I'm sure she would have come to focus her time so completely on being a mother that it would have driven a wedge between her and her husband. That does happen. Honestly, I think it happens to everyone, it's just that many couples are committed enough to making their marriage work that they manage to find their way back to each other, through deliberate intent. I'm not sure Polanski's personality would have allowed him to prioritize his marriage in that way. At least not in that phase of his life.

Remember, this was just a few short years before...well you know.

So how did he go from tragic bereaved husband to child rapist? I have some speculations.

Head's up, I'm going to be talking out of my butt here, because I'm no psychiatrist and I've never met Roman Polanski, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

After reading his life story, I can't look at him without seeing the little boy who was separated from his parents at a very young age and sent to live with people who didn't really love him, and who in some cases didn't even seem to like him very much. So he grew up deprived of the affection that children need if they are going to become emotionally healthy adults. And even when his father returned, he wasn't as involved in his life as a father really should be. So when he became a teen, and began to develop sexual awareness, the only people he had to guide him through that were other teenage boys, so it seems natural that he would come to objectify women.

Reading his autobiography, you get this sense that from very early on, he felt that sex was something he was entitled to. His belief that monogamy was unnatural was probably a manifestation of that entitlement. But I wonder if maybe he was subconsciously using sex to compensate for the love he did not receive as a child. That emotional intimacy was not something he was capable of, so he substituted sexual intimacy instead.

And then his need to avoid emotional intimacy was reinforced when the first person he allowed himself to truly fall in love with (though, granted, in his own flawed way) died tragically.

So, my thoughts on the rape conviction, which I said I can't avoid talking about. Okay, first of all, what he did was unforgiveable, and the chapter where he describes the encounter was truly disgusting. There is no excuse for such things, but there can be explanations, and I wonder if the cumulation of all of the trauma of his life left him so profoundly messed up that he actually didn't understand how horrible his actions were. Again, it's not an excuse and he should have known better. Just the fact that a middle-aged man could look at a thirteen-year-old and think it was okay to have sex with her is beyond disturbing. I cannot in any way defend his actions. I'm just speculating about what may have led to it, that's all.

Wow, so much for being concise, but like I said, big feelings.

Okay, to finish up, here's what I hope has happened to Roman Polanski in the years since the publication of this book. I hope that when he met his third wife he was finally able to become the husband he should have been to Sharon Tate. The fact that they are still together after more than thirty years tells me he must have achieved at least a bit more emotional maturity than he displayed back in the 60s and 70s. And I hope that when he became the father to a daughter, he finally learned to see women as more than just sexual objects. I hope that when she was around thirteen years old he looked at her with the protective eyes of a father and that somewhere in his mind he made a connection between the girl standing in front of him and that other thirteen-year-old girl from all those years ago. And I hope he imagined how he would have felt if someone had done that to his daughter. I hope he finally understood that girls that age are still children and are in no way ready for sex, especially with middle-aged men.

I'm a sucker for a good redemption story. Some will say he deserves no redemption, but as I said, I can't look at him without seeing that little boy who cried because he missed his parents. And I can't hate that little boy, so all I can do is hope that he finally grew up to be the good man he might have become years ago had tragedy and trauma not damaged him so irreparably. The child rapist deserves no forgiveness, but that little boy deserves to have some peace and happiness in his life.

It's complicated.

I honestly don't know if I've ever cried for another person as much as I cried for Roman Polanski while reading this book. Which I guess shows my own path to emotional maturity, from the girl who laughed at my mom for crying over Sharon Tate to the woman who can't help crying over Sharon's grieving husband.

We're all on the journey together.

[Julie Dieske · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great biography on a misunderstood person. His life was filled with horror and tragedy but today he lives for his children. The first half of his life he spent hiding out from the German occupation. He moves on to attend school in Poland his studies in film. The middle section of his life was spent creating masterpieces on the world stage. Things are going well until his wife and friends are murdered by The Manson Family. After a stagnant three years he returns to the film career and produces MacBeth. Then the masterpiece that tops his film accomplishments "Chinatown".he slows down a bit creating not so great films and then in 2002 creates a biopic called the Pianist Another few films that are okay and then he is captured in Switzerland where he spends 9 months locked up in a Swiss Chalet. In 2010 he is released by the Swiss Goverment as a free man but he is restricted from filming in many countries because of the conditions of his release.

In 1977 he was arrested for raping and sodomizing a 13 year old girl and plying her with quualudes and champagne. He has since then lived on the lam for a long 33 years. His life undesirable by most but his talent was wanted by many. He is a troubled man but legendary for his talent as a film director.

[Ms Miaow · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book,highly recommended,a well deserved 5 stars.
I thought Roman was very and frankly unusually honest,this account of his life kept me entertained throughout.
I found the description of his life in nazi occupied Poland during WW2 harrowing and awfully sad.

As for Roman himself he comes across as a likeable,funny but reckless person.There is something of the behaviour of a kid in a sweet shop with his numerous affairs with the opposite sex.A bit of a dirty old man with a penchant for under age girls,Nastassia Kinski being one of them.
He's a great director no argument there,but shouldn't have escaped his punishment for the inexcusable wrong he committed to a minor.

A very well written book,he's lived the kind of life you couldn't make up,truth is definitely stranger than fiction in this case.
Would love another book from him about the rest of his life so far.

[Patrick · Rating 2 out of 5]

Je me suis décidé à lire cette bio qui traînait dans la bibliothèque de ma maman qui est fan de Polanski depuis toujours. D'une manière générale c'est assez laborieux à lire, peut être en raison du style d'écriture qui évoque quelque fois un script (déformation professionnelle ?). Je m'y suis attaché tout de même pour plusieurs raisons: le personnage, la carrière et l'époque sur laquelle il jette son regard acéré de photographe/réalisateur. Du ghetto de Varsovie aux villas de Beverly Hills, en passant par l'école de cinéma de Lodz, c'est une ascension fulgurante racontée sans réserves dans une volonté de tout déballer pour que le lecteur puisse se faire son propre film, ce qui est au final un peu indigeste. Dommage, car le personnage a quelque chose d'attachant, et on a le sentiment qu'il nous a perdu dans les détails sans pourtant nous dire l'essentiel.

[Thomas Stroemquist · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and fascinating autobiography by Roman Polanski. From the Warsaw ghetto as a young boy to world famous director via an all other than straight path. Well-told and very readable. My only regret is the 'unlawful sex with a minor'-incident that encompasses much of the final chapters. Granted, Polanski does not shy away from telling the story (but he really couldn't), but even told from his side, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.