Sometimes, life takes you places you don’t want to go.
Dementia and Alzheimer’s is a journey no one wants to take, yet life doesn’t give us a choice. Author Mike Glenn's mom didn’t want to be sick, and while she couldn’t overcome the devastation of disease, she wasn’t going down without a fight.
She fought the illness, denying its presence. She fought the doctors, “Who were these idiots anyway?” And she fought him, “How come you think you’re in charge now?”
Coffee with Mom is a book about a mom's fight with dementia and the struggle of a son who wanted to help but didn’t always know how. Most of their conversations—and sometimes battles—happened during morning coffee.
This book isn’t about knowing all of the answers. It is one son’s journey with his mom—a mom with Alzheimer’s and a son who did the best he could, and who wrote this story in hopes that you’ll find a few laughs for your journey, realize you’re not alone, and find the courage to do the best you can.
So, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and join us on the journey. You’ll find yourself in the laughter and tears of not knowing what to do next and making a decision that you hope works out, knowing it’s the best you can do in the moment.
In the end, that’s all that matters. “Do the best you can” is all love requires.
If you are someone who has been given the responsibility of making decisions and caring for your loved one as their health declines, then get this book and let it encourage you. If you are a caregiver of someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s, then you will want to get this book to help you grieve and to remind you that you are not alone. 'Coffee with Mom: Caring for a Parent with Dementia' by Mike Glenn is a book of conversation and counsel for caregivers.
This book will make anyone caring for a loved one with dementia feel seen. Pair it with Roz Chast’s memoir for some laughs and many tears over shared experiences.
I give this book 3 1/2 stars. It is a quick and short read, and rather repetitive. This author is a friend of my husband's which is why I read the book. I give the author heaps of credit for caring for his mother with dementia for four long years. He uses a lot of humor which made it a fun read.
As some other reviewers have noted, this book is repetitive, but I found it helpful and touching. Anyone trying to deal with a parent with dementia would find something in this book they could relate to and have or will see. It is comforting to know that you are not alone in your frustration/grieving/loving someone whose mental state is altered and whose memory is fading. And Glenn doesn't sugarcoat the difficulties of an angry parent who lashes out at the family members who are trying their best to help and keep them safe. I found a lot of comfort in his thought near the end of the book that when his mom lashes out at him in anger, it really is a compliment in that she knows he loves her so much that even in anger, he will not abandon her and will remain a constant. I will be passing this to my sister, the main caretaker of my mom, in hopes she can see the beautiful gift she is giving my mom and our family.
Sure, it's by my pastor, but I can still say this is a special book. For anyone walking through a loved one with any kind of memory loss, or just normal aging, this book will provide a unique and personal insight into the journey.
I was so grateful when I first saw the title of this book. It's something that is part of my family story and a topic I haven't seen many people write about honestly.
While I hope the book does well so that perhaps more books for those walking through this chapter will follow, I was really disappointed in the book itself. The writing itself is not strong. In fact, of all 50 books I've read so far this year, it's probably the worst writing I've come across so far. I have to wonder if the publisher was trying desperately to meet a word and page count, as there appears to be extra whitespace in the formatting and almost every single sentence / idea is repeated a minimum of three times.
I would find it hard to believe an editor touched this manuscript. It easily could have been trimmed down by 30% and would have had a stronger impact on the reader. As it is, I found myself annoyed as the author wrote the same thing three or four different ways on every other page. Trust the reader to understand what you're saying. Don't play dumb or make the reader feel like you think they're dumb by rewording the same sentence or making the same point half a dozen times in every chapter, only to then say it all over again (multiple times) in the next chapter.
Coffee with Mom is a heartbreaking perspective from the son of a mother with dementia. The author detailed the heartbreak watching the mother he knew lose herself to the disease. I learned that the hardest part is recognizing the patient physically but not according to their personality. To see the person who gave you strength say and do things you would never imagine was devasting. However, his message provides hope that you are not alone. You are doing the best you can for them and must find solace in that.
I did give a lower rating because so much of the book was redundant. 70% of the book was the same content reassembled or even directly repeated. It seemed like a collection of reworded essays that were all put together. I understand you will need to be repetitive with a person with dementia, but I did not get the sense that this was the author's intention.
Written by the preacher at Brentwood Baptist. He moved his mom to Morning Pointe. Several good thoughts for people who are living with taking care of their parent with dementia. The good, the bad and the ugly. Some parts were repetitive. He never mentioned what (if any) help or hindrance he got from his brother. That would've added a layer--dealing with siblings and having to make decisions.
Hi, Mike. My name is Mrs. Patricia Ann Timbrook. I am a book reviewer with B & H Publishing and I finished reading your book, COFFEE with MOM. I have never before written any of my reviews in this format: directing my words to the author. But, for some reason, today I seem that I must. Your title caught my attention immediately--always a good thing for any writer. Also, the book's cover intrigued me momentarily, as I studied the coffee in the nine identical mugs, coffee (symbolically of your mom's life) that started out strong and full to the brim, and then, progressively, its contents lessened until the cup was empty. It was then, that as I opened to the preface, I wondered if I, as an adult, oldest of three siblings, was going to read about someone infested with an almost identical illness as that of our mom. Soon, I discovered that was sadly, but realistically, exactly so.
Your mom, Mike, like too many of the seniors in the United States, was diagnosed with two intertwined mental illnesses: Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. They, like two ugly and harmful weeds, had germinated in a fairly healthy garden. Over time, the illnesses (or weeds) grew until one day everyone knew "they" were there-- everyone, that is, but your mom, Barbara Glenn, herself. "They" had "announced" themselves to you, Mike, your siblings, your wife Jeannie, and your other family members at a time when you were still working full-time, and enjoying your children and grandchildren. Your book begins with your mom and her diseases and ends with the same at her death and following.
There is something noticeable throughout the contents: So much of the substance and the stories in the 21 chapters repeat themselves or overlap. Is that because that's the path that Alzheimer's and dementia take, as well? Perhaps you and your editor intended the style of the book to be that way. Even so, I believe that what separates your book from others of its kind is your mom, Barbara Glenn herself. Even though her illnesses destroyed certain parts of the brain, which in itself is common to thousands of seniors, it's her personality, and how she alone responded to those diseases that becomes the story coupled with your love debt to her.
To future readers, let me say this. I re-lived our mom's story as I read this book. I felt Mike's distress with his mom's situations, his search for "right" answers to decisions, and his pain and sadness. Not all of you who read this book will identify with any of that. However, I believe that you will understand some things-- you will understand more about aging diseases, more about its effect on the families surrounding them, and hopefully, understand more about unconditional love that comes from Jesus alone.
Sometimes an author thinks he’s telling his story, but the further you get into the book, the more familiar it sounds, the names and places might be different, but there is a certain familiarity that you just can’t shake. And it’s not because this is the umpteenth book by the same author and the stories are being repeated; it’s because you, or someone you know is living a similar story. In Coffee with Mom: Caring for a Parent with Dementia (B&H Publishing, 2019) Mike Glenn tells a very personal story, except that it’s probably the story of everyone who has had to care for a parent who suffers with dementia or Alzheimer’s. Yes the details are slightly different. Not everyone played the piano by ear, not everyone grew up in Huntsville, AL, and certainly not every dementia parent had to leave their home and move to Nashville to be close to the caregiving child. But in the midst of the individual details are those bigger pictures. The pictures of anger, frustration, despair, guilt, hurt, loss and grief. Mike Glenn not only addresses so many of those issues, but he tells about his experiences in such a heartfelt way that it’s impossible not to be moved. His pastoral-self shines as he describes what he went through and how he learned to deal with things, including how to realize that he loved his mother enough to make unpopular choices (during a time when she was accusing him of not loving her enough.) The lessons in this book are many. And as he says, almost everyone knows someone who suffers dementia, and when they find out that you’re going through it too, they can’t help but want to tell you about their experiences. Sometimes it helps to know that you’re not alone—other times you need to be the one to share the experience. And since these horrible diseases affect everyone differently, most of the time the unsolicited advice won’t work in your case anyway (p 166) The biggest take away for me is don’t be afraid to ask for help. The Dementia journey is a long and arduous one, and it’s a rare person who can go it alone. And again Mike adds some Pastoral guidance: turn to God. Doctors should read and recommend this book. Staff in care facilities with a memory unit, or patients with dementia or Alzheimer’s patients should familiarize themselves with what the families are going through at the same time that the patient is losing more and more of himself or herself. This short book speaks volumes into the lives of those struggling with the disease. I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review. 5/5
This is a delightful book about Mike Glenn's mother's battle with dementia and Alzheimer's. He gives quotes from his mom which are sometimes hilarious as well as explaining the struggle to get his mom into a home and take away her car, etc. She was a very strong woman and strong-willed even to the end. He tells of the pain and grief of becoming her caregiver and the many decisions that had to be made.
The title comes from the almost daily morning coffee times with his mom and her “famous” quotes as she loudly protested any changes in her life and her routine from what she wanted—which was to live alone and take care of herself. At the end of the book, he gives words of wisdom from his own experience taking care of his mom.
Although I'm not dealing with a loved one with dementia, this book gave me a lot of good information about it and as a result, I empathize with those who do struggle with this on a day to day basis. It would be an awesome book to read if someone is taking care of a parent or loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's. He dealt with his mother in a loving way but often wondered if he was doing the right thing and struggled with her fighting him on everything.
Although he admits that every dementia patient and situation is different, this is still a good book for others to read and should encourage them in their journey.
(Please Note: Although a copy of this book was provided to me by B&H and Lifeway to review, the opinions expressed are my own.)
I found Coffee with Mom to be an extremely candid look at a son’s experience of caring for his mother through the last years of dementia. Glenn explains how we perceive it is going to be but in actuality how it really is. Of course, everyone’s experience won’t be exactly the same but there are enough similarities that I feel this book might need to be a ‘must-read’ for anyone in the roll of long term caregiver.
I read this book in small doses because my heart twisted at some of the recollections. My husband and I experienced similar emotional pain through the years with our daughter who was physically and mentally challenged. I appreciate Glenn’s honesty and transparency and it encouraged me not to go back and second guess any decisions my husband and I made. Even in the midst of life’s greatest trials, there is humor to be found (we know that for a fact) and Glenn displays a keen wit. Really, his mom was a hoot. I’m so glad he wrote this book!
As I read along, I couldn’t help but share passages with my husband (okay, I basically read the book to him) because 1) our own experience and the ensuing years of grief and healing and 2) he has a co-worker (CW) who is a co-caregiver to both parents who have Alzheimer’s. He said CW has confided a few of these same emotional and physical challenges of caring for his parents. My husband told me he thinks he is now better prepared to pray for and encourage CW through this challenging time.
I appreciate Lifeway and B&H sending me a copy for review purposes. No compensation has been received.
From the moment I opened this book my emotions were raw. My husband and I currently have my MIL living with us. She has Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed not long after her loving husband, Kimo, passed away. This is not the journey we expected to be on right now... We had just become empty nesters and we were enjoying "us". It has been a great struggle. A time of adjustment for us all and honestly I thought I was more compassionate... more loving... more of a lot of things. I'm working through this because she matters... she is still here and she is not getting better.
So now about the book... you will laugh and cry! Like my husband and I you might find some healing and be able to let go of some guilt feelings... some things are eerily similar but others we haven't dealt with. I will be buying this book for others as needed. I'm very thankful this book was written.
Now I think we are going to start having coffee with mom and jotting down some interesting stuff to share with our families. I received a complimentary copy of this book from B&H Publishing / Lifeway and was under no obligation to post a favorable review.
This is one of those books that's going to be valuable to anyone trying to love aging parents well and struggling with the hard decisions that are part of that, of course especially if dementia is a variable. Mike Glenn is honest and vulnerable and tender and real as he relays his own journey. In fact, reading this book feels a little bit like reading Glenn's journal, especially because certain themes are mentioned repetitively, just as anyone would mention troubling or hurtful subjects multiple times while sorting through them in conversation. The writing isn't amazing, nor does the editing scream excellence, but if you need to remember that you're not alone while you're walking through a hard season as a caregiver, it's not going to matter to you that the writing and editing sometimes fall short. It's not riveting; it's a cup of coffee with a guy who's going through something and doing the best he can.
A very touching and moving book of the author's personal experience of dealing with his mother's dementia. Anyone in the early stages of dealing with a loved one with dementia should definitely read this. Yes, each personal case is a bit different, but there are also many parallels, and opportunities to learn from the experiences of others. This is also helpful to those in the late stages of dealing with someone with this disease, as it gives comfort in some of the decisions made, as hard as they often are. ... And "yes", I can speak from personal experince in this as I deal with my own Mother's situation. I found great comfort in this book, and the author's experience, in that I'm not alone in the situation, and it provided me some great reminders of the ultimate goals of caring for a loved one when you and/or they are having a "difficult" time.
I heard Mike Glenn on a podcast, so the journey with my own mother, as well as his sweet southern insights, prompted me to buy the book. As others have commented, there is some repetitive information, and I think the book could have been better organized. To be expected, as everyone's particular situation is different, some of the information was not applicable to my exact circumstances. I was curious as to no mention of siblings. At one point he referred to being the oldest son. This hints at his having siblings, but there was not a single additional mention in the book's entirety to indicate siblings or even to state that he was an only child. Anyone with siblings involved in decision-making knows that this adds another layer of complication. However, generalizations were very helpful and it was enjoyable, albeit a bit painful, to read.
There is some useful information. Your parent's personality can change completely and they may do and say things they would have never done or said pre-illness. They may become abusive. I especially liked his idea of telling stories from the family's past, that she enjoyed, even if she would not remember them the next day. But he spent a lot of space assuring himself that he did the right things. That he did what he had to do. Maybe this is necessary when you are going through this and your parent is verbally abusing you and accusing her of mistreatment. But it became very repetitive. He also told some of the same stories two or three times. The book was too short to get away with that. It needed a good editor. I'm glad I read it, but I assume there are better books in the subject. I'll be looking for them rather than recommending this one.
Mike Glenn wears his heart on his sleeve and makes you laugh and cry with Coffee With Mom. I do not have a parent who has suffered with dementia but I know that this testimony is great. Coffee With Mom is a continual reminder that you are not alone in this hard journey. I appreciate this book so much that I will be passing it on to another person the Lord has directed me to (so he must appreciate it too). The rawness and transparency of this book is appreciated. I do not ever believe that Mike believed this book would even happen. He was just trying to make light of a hard time. However, I know this book will help so many! 5/5 for Coffee With Mom by Mike Glenn. I cannot wait to pass this one on!
Wish I could say this was an easy read but I cannot. Reading about Mike Glenn journey with his mother was like I was reliving the early part of my journey with mom.
I so get what he is saying, especially the hatefulness that this disease throws out you. It’s can be so hard to get past that. Especially when you realize that you are far from perfect and your responses could have been better.
He was able to get his mom in a facility that was close, me....mom ended up 40 minutes from us, which makes daily visits impossible. Or, am I making excuses?
I am thankful for this book. You should read this if you have parents over 60. While you are not likely to have to deal with the disease, it will help you prepare if you ever do.
A heartfelt book as to his experience of looking after a mother with dementia. My favourite part was a reminder from one of his friends who lost his mother to dementia "hold onto every moment. The time will come when you won't have any moments. Don't waste one of them". I also really enjoyed the last chapter as I really thought it would help people who don't have a great relationship with the parents or none at all for possibly very good reasons. I couldn't relate to the whole of the book, thought that there would be a more biblical foundation rather than just his personal experience, though hearing this was still very good. Definitely food for thought and prayer as you care for aging parents.
I chuckled and smiled, sighed and cried, in reading Mike Glenn’s account of his mom’s decline due to Alzheimer’s. His tenderness, introspection, and authenticity were so welcoming to the reader, that, after a just a few pages, I felt more like a friend than an outside observer to his unfolding story. As a daughter with a mom declining due to memory loss, I found more than hope and encouragement in this book; I felt as though I’d befriended a fellow sojourner. I’m thankful this book was written, and am even more grateful that I discovered it when I did.
First of all, I would say that this book is a good starting point for individuals who find themselves with a parent who is having the beginnings of a memory problem. However, this book is extremely repetitive, and I would often feel that the author would repeat himself often. He repeatedly states how poorly his mother treated him, and you could feel the guilt he had by the things that he said. So take that into consideration while reading the book. There are some nuggets of wisdom that I got from the book, but I can’t say that I would highly recommend it.
I loved this book and can hardly wait to pass it on to others I know who are going through similar situations! Mike Glenn writes as if he were just sitting in the room talking with you, revealing his insecurities as to his newfound responsibilities and laughing about all the crazy things his mom has been saying. Reading this book lifted my spirits as right now I am going through this very thing with my mom.
After reading Mike Glenn’s book “Coffee with Mom”, I can completely relate to his journey. That happened with me and my mom as well. It’s funny, touching, heartbreaking, and unflinchingly honest. If you are walking through a similar journey with a parent, or if you have lost a parent to Alzheimer’s, this is must reading. It will tell you that you are not alone in your journey.
Currently living this situation, found it redundant, same chapter over and over again. Just explaining what Alzheimer's looks like. If you don't know it could be helpful. If you are already in it this felt like dealing with it all over again. Needed an good editing, someone thinks 3rd shift is 11am-7pm, that's just one that stuck out.
Wonderful book about a son with a mom that has dementia. My Mom had dementia and so many things that this pastor went through is identical. My Mom passed in 2020. It was a comfort for me to know I’m not the only one who went through this hard time. God Bless anyone who has a family member going through this time. It’s so hard.
The author does a good job explaining his experience with this ugly illness. He tells his tales of the ups and downs with the battles his mother faces and what he faces as the caretaker. I found myself laughing and crying along with him as he told portrayed his life before, during, and after this illness diagnosis.
My daddy died after a long stretch with Alzheimer's and this book made me remember a lot of what we went through. It has helped bring me some comfort knowing I did do all I could with who I was at the time. Thank you for the laughs as well.
Heartbreaking and encouraging at the same time. This book has been such a blessing to me that I took a second opportunity to read it. Definitely worth your time is you find yourself or a loved one in this position
This book is by our pastor, Mike Glenn. His comments during the time his mom was living would make me laugh. The book was funny but really really sad to hear how his days were like with his mom and alzheimers.