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All the Silent Spaces: A Memoir
In September 2007, Christine Ristaino was attacked in a store parking lot while her three- and five-year-old children watched. In All the Silent Spaces, Ristaino shares what it felt like to be an ordinary person confronted with an extraordinary event—a woman trying to deal with acute trauma even as she went on with her everyday life, working at a university and parenting two children with her husband. She not only narrates how this event changed her but also tells how looking at the event through both the reactions of her community and her own sensibility allowed her to finally face two other violent episodes she had previously experienced. As new memories surfaced after the attack, it took everything in Ristaino’s power to not let catastrophe unravel the precarious threads holding everything together.
Moving between the greater issues associated with violence and the personal voyage of overcoming grief, All the Silent Spaces is about letting go of what you think you know in order to rebuild.
Moving between the greater issues associated with violence and the personal voyage of overcoming grief, All the Silent Spaces is about letting go of what you think you know in order to rebuild.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
280 pages, Paperback
Published July 9, 2019
About the author
Christine Ristaino
2 books51 followersChristine Ristaino, a dynamic speaker on becoming whole after sexual violence, published her memoir on July 9, 2019, a project 12 years in the making. ALL THE SILENT SPACES outlines her experience revisiting rape and molestation after being attacked in a parking lot in front of her 3- and 5-year old children. Ristaino's memoir is available wherever books are sold. She teaches Italian language and literature at Emory University and advises three student groups on social justice issues.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
April 25, 2021
This was a powerful memoir about a mother’s journey through trauma after being a victim of violence while her children were present and also traumatized.
I’m grateful Christine Ristaino bravely shared this journey.
I’m grateful Christine Ristaino bravely shared this journey.
May 8, 2019
I don’t usually read memoirs but this one was given to me by the author for my honest review and because she is a very sweet kind person who knew I was interested in reading her book.
It’s a heartfelt account of a terrible event that changed her and her two small children’s lives forever. Being attacked going into a store is one you would not expect to ever happen. There are usually to many people or to much traffic or to much of something. One this occasion there was none of that. Only a woman with her small children needing just a little help getting the cart on the curb. What happened next threw me for a loop. How could anyone be so mean and cruel as to hurt a woman in front of her children. They were so helpless as was she. Thinking about someone doing such a cruel thing makes a person not trust their own instincts about how safe a place may be.
This book is told in a kind of diary type way that made me want to keep reading to find out more. I was amazed at how many women are attacked everyday and how it happens. From being robbed to raped. From being in a very public place to a somewhat secluded space. It happens way to often to us.
Thank you Christine Ristaino for the copy of this book. I am very happy to have you as a friend and am very sorry for the things that happened to you. To so many of us. Very well written. Very well expressed. I suffer from extreme anxiety and will never get over that but I have accepted it as part of my life. I have learned how to live with things that happened in my life as it seems so have you. It’s hard being female and even harder when females find excuses for things that should NEVER happen in this or any other country. Or they just look the other way....
I hope your life continues to get better. Many positive thoughts sent your way always.
It’s a heartfelt account of a terrible event that changed her and her two small children’s lives forever. Being attacked going into a store is one you would not expect to ever happen. There are usually to many people or to much traffic or to much of something. One this occasion there was none of that. Only a woman with her small children needing just a little help getting the cart on the curb. What happened next threw me for a loop. How could anyone be so mean and cruel as to hurt a woman in front of her children. They were so helpless as was she. Thinking about someone doing such a cruel thing makes a person not trust their own instincts about how safe a place may be.
This book is told in a kind of diary type way that made me want to keep reading to find out more. I was amazed at how many women are attacked everyday and how it happens. From being robbed to raped. From being in a very public place to a somewhat secluded space. It happens way to often to us.
Thank you Christine Ristaino for the copy of this book. I am very happy to have you as a friend and am very sorry for the things that happened to you. To so many of us. Very well written. Very well expressed. I suffer from extreme anxiety and will never get over that but I have accepted it as part of my life. I have learned how to live with things that happened in my life as it seems so have you. It’s hard being female and even harder when females find excuses for things that should NEVER happen in this or any other country. Or they just look the other way....
I hope your life continues to get better. Many positive thoughts sent your way always.
July 29, 2019
All the Silent Spaces is an authentic journey exploring how trauma changes us. Compassionate and vulnerable Ristaino is able to draw the reader into the endless web of questions her attack reveals and explore them gently. Smart, real and comforting it’s an excellent read.
December 1, 2019
After a woman is attacked in a parking lot in front of her children, she struggle to keep it together. Her life moves on, but it's not the same.She struggles to feel safe, normal, okay. She feels challenged by racial issues, by her children's perspectives. While it might go on too long for some, it's a brutally honest perspective of how an attack can truly destroy one's life deeper than what happens the day of the attack.
June 24, 2019
All the Silent Spaces--Silent Screams
In this spellbinding one-off memoir we see the author state matter-of-factly that her memoir has been written on the tenth anniversary of a trauma many of us know all too clearly could happen to us. Later we find out that Ristaino has suffered previously from equally horrific injury and unhealed wounds. " It is my hope this book will create space for difficult conversations" and indeed it does.
What differentiates this account of unspeakable injury from many other memoirs is the conversation about race. The author's parents were loving, social and political activists, and raised her to be the same. But what to do about one's unconscious reflexive response to innocent bystanders of the same race as her attacker? The discussion, self-reflection, and overflow into Ristaino's workday as a professor make this a soaring canopy shrouding our deepest, most uncomfortable thoughts about being wounded and about healing. A breakthrough in the ways we think about our world and those around us!
In this spellbinding one-off memoir we see the author state matter-of-factly that her memoir has been written on the tenth anniversary of a trauma many of us know all too clearly could happen to us. Later we find out that Ristaino has suffered previously from equally horrific injury and unhealed wounds. " It is my hope this book will create space for difficult conversations" and indeed it does.
What differentiates this account of unspeakable injury from many other memoirs is the conversation about race. The author's parents were loving, social and political activists, and raised her to be the same. But what to do about one's unconscious reflexive response to innocent bystanders of the same race as her attacker? The discussion, self-reflection, and overflow into Ristaino's workday as a professor make this a soaring canopy shrouding our deepest, most uncomfortable thoughts about being wounded and about healing. A breakthrough in the ways we think about our world and those around us!
March 1, 2019
All the Silent Spaces by Christine Ristaino is a memoir focusing on a traumatic event and her attempts to cope, to heal, to understand, and to try to make the world better.
The parts of the book I found most impactful were the ones that caused the most discomfort. That is usually the case, honest expressions about topics we rarely truly discuss (though we talk about constantly) create discomfort. The key is to not avoid the feeling but to understand what about it actually makes you uncomfortable. Racism and other bigotry are usually talked about either in broad sweeping generalities or micro-focused dissections. And usually not with people who might offer different perspectives than what we have.
How does one understand when something traumatic happens? We can often find some kind of intellectual understanding but that doesn't answer or satisfy the "why me" aspect. Add in a number of unknown factors and we end up spinning our wheels and coming up with multiple contradictory explanations. Time does help, but it doesn't necessarily heal.
I would recommend this to anyone interested in what personal trauma looks like from the inside. Not sensationalized, and with an eye toward understanding. Understanding the event, those around us, society as a whole, and ourselves in particular. If you have ever suffered a violent isolated attack you will recognize a lot of the actions and explanations. If not, you will definitely empathize and gain some insight into how we all come to have the beliefs and ideals we do.
Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via Edelweiss.
The parts of the book I found most impactful were the ones that caused the most discomfort. That is usually the case, honest expressions about topics we rarely truly discuss (though we talk about constantly) create discomfort. The key is to not avoid the feeling but to understand what about it actually makes you uncomfortable. Racism and other bigotry are usually talked about either in broad sweeping generalities or micro-focused dissections. And usually not with people who might offer different perspectives than what we have.
How does one understand when something traumatic happens? We can often find some kind of intellectual understanding but that doesn't answer or satisfy the "why me" aspect. Add in a number of unknown factors and we end up spinning our wheels and coming up with multiple contradictory explanations. Time does help, but it doesn't necessarily heal.
I would recommend this to anyone interested in what personal trauma looks like from the inside. Not sensationalized, and with an eye toward understanding. Understanding the event, those around us, society as a whole, and ourselves in particular. If you have ever suffered a violent isolated attack you will recognize a lot of the actions and explanations. If not, you will definitely empathize and gain some insight into how we all come to have the beliefs and ideals we do.
Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via Edelweiss.
April 24, 2019
I found this memoir really powerful, especially towards the end. Ristaino takes one event, described in the prologue, and put together a memoir of experiences following the event, and remembering things that happened before.
I have never been violently attacked like Ristaino, and it really helped open my eyes to see how traumatizing it is. Ristaino’s writing is so realistic, and honest. It felt authentic, telling these different stories and analyzing them back to the attack.
Some chapters in particular that stood out to me were towards the end: “Women in Parking Lots”, “Spelling Bee” and the final chapter.
I have never been violently attacked like Ristaino, and it really helped open my eyes to see how traumatizing it is. Ristaino’s writing is so realistic, and honest. It felt authentic, telling these different stories and analyzing them back to the attack.
Some chapters in particular that stood out to me were towards the end: “Women in Parking Lots”, “Spelling Bee” and the final chapter.
June 3, 2021
This is a memoir about a woman who endures a mugging in front of her kids, which sets her off on an explorative emotional journey about her past encounters with sexual violence and her visceral feelings about race.
As a non-American I can’t help feeling that it’s impossible to describe America without addressing racism, but do we really need to read about another privileged white woman’s experiences and thoughts about it, even if she is genuinely struggling with her own innate prejudice? Well, as it turns out I think Ristaino has something worthwhile to say.
This book meanders between the mundane and the profound, and moves from intensely personal experience to sweeping, general ponderings, and makes sense of both. I enjoyed the gentle, thoughtful pace of the writing. I enjoyed the threads of Ristaino’s life that she often follows seemingly because it occurs to her that she can, and that there’s no need for her to tie them up in a bow; she can just let them fall. I enjoyed that there’s no real ending to this story, that the conclusions she comes to are stepping stones to other revelations.
It feels like reading an exceptionally well-written diary and wondering, when it ends, why she ended it there and wishing I could ask her myself.
As a non-American I can’t help feeling that it’s impossible to describe America without addressing racism, but do we really need to read about another privileged white woman’s experiences and thoughts about it, even if she is genuinely struggling with her own innate prejudice? Well, as it turns out I think Ristaino has something worthwhile to say.
This book meanders between the mundane and the profound, and moves from intensely personal experience to sweeping, general ponderings, and makes sense of both. I enjoyed the gentle, thoughtful pace of the writing. I enjoyed the threads of Ristaino’s life that she often follows seemingly because it occurs to her that she can, and that there’s no need for her to tie them up in a bow; she can just let them fall. I enjoyed that there’s no real ending to this story, that the conclusions she comes to are stepping stones to other revelations.
It feels like reading an exceptionally well-written diary and wondering, when it ends, why she ended it there and wishing I could ask her myself.
September 26, 2019
Incredibly powerful memoir. As a mother of three children, I cannot imagine living through what Christine did. Not only did she survive, she did whatever was within her grasp to protect her children from the repercussions of what they witnesses and lived in those moments. Even more powerful is understanding how this experience altered the author's life in more ways than we could imagine. It brought back memories, caused her to reflect and ask very real questions about topics that are often uncomfortable, when we look in the mirror and face our own truth.
December 24, 2019
Picked this up for book club but once I started reading I did not want to put it down! Beautifully written memoir of trauma for a family. How can women better defend and protect themselves in their everyday lives while healing physical and psychological wounds? How do we explore biases, racism, and rational and irrational fears within while healing from assault? This book gives us all a lot to ponder. I sense it is a good starting point for lots of discussion and continued learning. Brava.
July 28, 2021
a very brutally honest depiction of how an attack on a person can change them and those around them forever
June 13, 2020
I found this memoir about PTSD and the exploration of the societal issues surrounding it very moving and relatable.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews