No previous experience: A memoir of love and change

by Elspeth Cameron

Book by Cameron, Elspeth

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Lesbian, LGBT

240 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1997

Reviews

[Lcbogota · Rating 2 out of 5]

This autobiographical book tells how academic Elspeth Cameron, a woman who describes herself as "the thinking man's Barbie Doll," who unexpectedly falls in love with another woman. It gets off to an awkward start in the first few pages. I didn't think I would be able to handle a book of oblique references to female sexually couched in terms like "the lush damp valley you never suspected was there" or "a double rainbow arches in front of you, so close you can see the iridescent droplets suspended in midair." I nearly abandoned the book after the first chapter. Fortunately, Cameron quickly drops the metaphors and gets on with the story, which is told with painful honesty. The book doesn't cease to be uncomfortable. Cameron's writing style is confessional and justificatory, as if she is trying to convince herself about the reasons why she fell in love with another woman. She certainly has reason enough in her physically and emotionally abusive husband. It is uncomfortable to witness his abusive behavior, and to watch her stay with him. It is embarrassing to witness that kind of humiliation and not be able to turn away. Maybe I was uncomfortable because the story hit too close to home. I knew that physically and verbally abuse husband, and I know that sense of longing to make love to someone the way I would want to be made to love myself. Cameron's writing about the gradual unfolding of her love and sexuality with another woman rings entirely true: it is uncharted territory, something that she was never prepared for, had never contemplated, and her explorations are tentative, hesitant, wanting and fearful at the same time. As the title states, it is a situation in which she has no previous experience.

[Maria Stevenson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A courageous book. Maybe a little too much information, considering people are named by their full names. A bit baffling, that such a seemingly poised, successful academic woman could continue to endure such a toxic and abusive marriage before finally breaking free to live with the woman she loves. (Cameron's ex husband Paul clearly had mental health issues, and it's sad for everyone involved that he didn't get proper help.) The "no previous experience" element to the memoir is very interesting as Cameron really takes the reader along on her journey of falling in love with Janice Dickin. The special spark that they have between them as soul mates definitely comes across. (Who knows, maybe they have split up by now, they definitely had their quirks.)

[Rena · Rating 4 out of 5]

I tried not to let my own dislike of Cameron the “memoir character” cloud my enjoyment of her writing and the unfolding of her love story, both of which were quite beautiful.

[Lara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saw this at a client's place and read the dust jacket description. Since it sounded very much like what Meredith Baxter had experienced, I was intrigued. I picked it up from the library yesterday and simply tore through it in one go.

I had a bit of a problem with the pacing. At the beginning it seems that Elspeth develops feelings for Janice quite quickly; a few paragraphs covers a flurry of email exchanges without really describing the depth of the emails. About halfway through she slows down and really talks about her connection with Janice, and her struggles to come to terms with the end of her marriage. It was also weird to read about her home on Oriole Gardens, as I have a client who lives on that street. Her memories of Toronto are much different from mine during that time period.

I especially liked the frank discussions about how men - and much of society - keeps women from having close relationships. And I may never read Anne of Green Gables the same way again. A recommended read.

[Chris Harrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my goodness, Cameron is an excellent writer! I had difficulty putting this memoir down. I also might have stayed up much too late last night reading! In her memoir, Cameron tells the story of meeting Janice Dickin McGinnis, their friendship, their romance, their affair and their partnership. Both women were married to men when they met. Cameron’s husband was abusive and McGinnis’s was distant and planning to leave. The story of their romance and growing love is beautiful and engaging. However, it was reading about Cameron’s escape from her abusive spouse that kept me reading too long into the night. Everytime she left, I exhaled and felt relieved. Everytime she went back, I wanted to scream, “No!” It was the tenderness and depth of McGinnis’s love that helped Cameron to realize that she deserved better. I found myself desperately hoping for happiness for Cameron. I am still quite unsettled by her trauma.

[Ainsley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cameron writes well, not surprisingly, but it is painful to witness how such a smart woman could make such poor decisions (I'm referring to her bizarre determination to save her disastrous marriage to a grade-A creep) and how so many people who ought to have known better (in addition to having the worst kind of husband, she somehow managed to saddle herself with the worst kind of therapist) kept the scales from falling from her eyes.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an absolute favourite. The story spoke to me at a time when I very much needed its voice. The sharing of it led to one of the best periods in my life. The example of bravery to make a profound change in your life is something that I value to today.

[Erika Nerdypants · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two married women meet, become friends, fall in love and eventually become a couple. Achingly beautiful, sensual, honest. Loved, loved this book.