New Family Values

by Andrew Solomon

Drawing on dozens of intimate audio interviews with families from all across the country, award-winning psychologist and writer Andrew Solomon redefines what it means to be an “ideal family” in America today. Solomon observes that America, led in large part by the women’s, civil rights, and gay rights movements, has undergone a radical social shift in the last few decades.

While three-quarters of American children lived in families with two (first-time) married, heterosexual parents in the 1960s, today less than half do. The conventional family, Solomon argues, has broken into a multitude of perfect families, including gay families, multiparent families, adoptive families, foster families, families built through assisted reproduction, single parent-headed families, and child-free families. Although the structure of family has changed, economic and legal structures lag behind and need to adapt to accommodate this explosive new reality.

©2018 Audible Originals, LLC (P)2018 Audible Originals, LLC.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Parenting, Psychology, Sociology, LGBT, Politics

6 pages, Audiobook

First published December 6, 2018

About the author

Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture, and health. He lives in New York and London. He has written for many publications--such as the New York Times, The New Yorker and Artforum--on topics including depression, Soviet artists, the cultural rebirth of Afghanistan, Libyan politics, and deaf culture. He is also a Contributing Writer for Travel and Leisure. In 2008, he was awarded the Humanitarian Award of the Society of Biological Psychiatry for his contributions to the field of mental health. He has a staff appointment as a Lecturer in Psychiatry at Cornell Medical School (Weill-Cornell Medical College).

Reviews

[Barton Hacker · Rating 2 out of 5]

This "book" disappointed me, but to understand why, I should probably explain a little about myself.

I am a privileged white male; yet this does not define who I am. Rather, I am a single father, having gone through a divorce nearly ten years ago. I have chosen not to remarry, but am in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman with two children of her own. We have been together for five years, living separately, but we nonetheless act as one large family. My son considers her kids siblings; as hers consider mine. They are my children.

My son has a younger brother from my ex-wife 's second marriage; he is black. She is now twice divorced, and husband number two is, to put it mildly, an ass and I am a father figure for her youngest as a result. My sister is a single mother of an adopted child. She and her ex-husband attempted IVF, but it did not take. Shortly after adopting, her son was diagnosed as autistic. My brother's two children are Chinese-American living in rural Vermont.

So why do I share this? I do so because mine is obviously not a traditional family and I was attracted to Solomon's presentation of "New Family Values" because I was interested in a scholars' interpretation of the growing changes away from what is viewed as "traditional." I was also hoping, ever so slightly, to identify with at least a small part of Solomon's findings.

Unfortunately, Solomon's presentation leaves too many non-traditional family experiences unexplored for this to be a satisfactory read for me. With more than 50% of marriages ending in divorce, he failed to discuss in any meaningful way how this modern phenomenon has affected the view and general make-up of the non-traditional family. As american society becomes more racially and culturally integrated, he failed to discuss the growing number of families that introduce multiple religions or no religion into their home value system; he ignores attitudes toward multiculturalism and biracial families as well.

He also, dare I say, interviewed more than 30 families excluded from the ranks of "traditional" family definitions and not a single one of them included a straight, white father. There is a growing non-traditional trend where the father is deciding to stay at home to raise the children, while the mother pursues a career. And what of the single male parent like myself? Must we really swing the proverbial pendulum so far against white males that we be excluded completely from the conversation? I mean, I get it. We have for too long ignored the viewpoint of anyone but white men for so long that now is the time for others to be heard. However, a fuller exploration of family value change, like it or not, includes straight, white men too.

With so many non-traditional family designs left out of Solomon's analysis, this book ends up feeling more like tale of exclusion than a true investigation of how families and the way they are viewed, is changing. In so doing, I couldn't help but feel that many of those being interviewed sounded selfish; that having children was more about their rights and about how they wanted to live, then it was about the children themselves.

The notion of "Family Values" inherently encapsulates how children are raised and the manner in which parental dynamics positively and/or negatively impacts this. It is simply not enough to list different adult-centric relationship statuses or characteristics, stating that there is a loving environment, and then expecting the hypothesis that a new family value paradigm has been, or is being created.

I have read other material by Solomon in the New Yorker and other publication; I generally like his style and am more often in agreement with his propositions than not. Because of this, I had such a high-level interest in what Solomon had to say on the topic, starting with the title, that I simply finished feeling underwhelmed and uninspired.

He could have done so much more with this.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fascinating listen (and free right now for audible subscribers through December). I could physically feel my mind expanding during this because the topics discussed I've just never given much thought to. As someone who for now has pushed away any mention of having kids with both hands the interviews conducted with families across America presented in this audio book show the truly diverse way that a 'family' can form outside of the traditional structure, from foster care, adoption, through surrogacy, 3 parents, etc. I found the legal discussions on surrogacy and the lack of regulation extremely interesting as well the examination of racism and the overarching view that 'those who are poor make poor parents' inherent in child protective service cases / reports. What I want more of now is a global view - are these newer family structures as prevalent the world over? What other nontraditional family structures exist? 100% worth the listen!

[Michael Huang · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s an informative program about beyond typical traditional families: those with same-sex parents; with single parents; with polyamory; foster or adoptive families; families needing fertility helps. They certainly have their challenges just like traditional families but clearly also have additional challenges posed by law, social norm and pressure/prejudices etc. For instance:

* One woman in a same sex couples gave birth to a baby. The other woman is not even legally accepted as a parent. This went to state Supreme Court.

* Administration for Children Service (ACS) is supposed to protect children from criminal neglect of abuse. But for minority families, it becomes a hanging threat: one missed medical appointment, you are under investigation and could even lose custody.

* Three adults were having an apparently working familial relationship but the law only recognized the legally married (bi-sexual) man and woman. The third man in the relationship (romantic partner to both) can not disclose this arrangement to his employer (military), lest he may be dishonorably discharged.

Despite being different from the rest of society, some of these people seem to be leading a normal life, one that does not endanger ours, their own, or that of their kids. Yet some of the hurdles for them erected by society are well-intentioned (eg, to protect women lacking agency in polygamy).

[Cassandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hesitantly started listening to this, but ended up really loving it. Part way though I considered putting it down and starting something else, because it didn't hold my interest at every story. But it shouldn't have to, though. And that's OK. At times, it got very emotional. I am a white, upper-middle-class, heterosexual woman who is married to a man and who has biological children, yet I still fit into a few of these categories. I've been a surrogate and have given birth to someone else's baby. I'm a foster parent, too. I have family members struggling with reconnecting with their (and my) biological family vs fitting into their adoptive family. I'll admit, of course, those topics that are covered in the book hit me particularly hard and really made me explore things from a new perspective.
I believe Mr. Solomon did a fantastic job of asking all the right questions to get the right answers. There is such a wide array of "family values" explored in this short book. I love that the book doesn't provide all the answers, simply explores the possibilities that things aren't always black and white when it comes to family. I find it fascinating.
This is a really thought-provoking program. Mr. Solomon's voice is great for narrating, and he's a thoughtful writer. It is much more like a really long podcast than a book.

[Mehrsa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really love Andrew Solomon and his books. He’s an excellent writer and a compassionate soul. This is an audible book so it doesn’t shine light on Andrew’s strength, which is his pride. Still, it’s such a good exploration of different family arrangements. My favorite section was the CPS one highlighting how poor families live in fear of the state taking away their kids. I wish there was more on that, but it was still very good

[Andie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Andrew Sullivan discusses the various ways people now arrange themselves into families from gay relationships to single parents to polygamy to polyandry to no children at all. Throughout all of his discussions with the various participants in each group, Sullivan maintains an open minded understanding and acceptance of each person's choice of how to live his or her life.

Family is where one finds it and everyone needs to be open to the choices that people now make.

[Kit · Rating 3 out of 5]

One paragraph, or maybe two were about family values. The rest explored various ‘new’ family structures and the trouble they face in society. I think the book is a good and useful read. I would have given it a 4-star if it didn’t feel like a bait and switch through the poor title choice. I was confused for a bit.

I did appreciate greatly the two critical statements regarding family values: critical criteria for a family: integrity, loving-ness, and purposeful-ness.’ Kids do well when they are ‘highly desired and thoughtfully conceived’ ‘children who are desired always fare better than children who are not.’

[Brenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is phenomenal. Filled with some incredible insights. I never really considered top much how it must be for same sex parents raising kids and what the roles would look and feel like for them. I never knew of some of the horror stories people who use surrogates go through (or how much they make! Like for real, it got me thinking haha). I am very thankful for the insight and chances to peer inside these many faceted worlds for a few hours. It also really got me thinking of what it meant when my friend Gretchen said how God knows what's best for us. And He didn't have this reality for us in mind when He created us. He didn't want parents of children to not be sure what role they play or to not be able to experience pregnancy because you can't get pregnant with a partner who is the same sex as you. Goodness, it just got my wheels spinning a whole lot and I will be chewing on this information for a good while now. Fantastic read, though, and I highly recommend, both as a fellow human of any kind but also because of my daily work with kids from all backgrounds. The more we know and understand, the better we can connect and build trusting relationships with children.

[Jeanny · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author did a marvelous job identifying & interviewing nontraditional families in today's society. I appreciated the author's dedication to getting these stories out. Giving a voice to the reality of what family is today is vital. It was an interesting book with an important message. I give it 4 solid stars


This book counts towards my Cliterary Genius 2018 Book Challange: Read 6 non-fiction book. This is book 2 of 6.

[Kara Ayers · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of my all-time favorite topics because I am intrigued by the dynamics of families and how many different ways families can look. Society's views on what a conventional family should look like causes a wide array of devastating effects on individuals, these families, and our entire culture at large. It would be better for ALL of us if we widened our view on family. This audiobook describes unique family structures. It's based on the idea of novel families and includes interviews with these family members intertwined with research and commentary from Solomon. The cavernous gap in this book that surprises me-because I know Solomon reflects on disability-is zero mention of disabled parents. We are oppressed by the foster care system-which is covered. WE were the primary victims of eugenics-also covered. We face the stigma of society if we choose to parent and the patronizing sorrow if we choose not to (especially as women). There wer SO many places that Solomon could have connected disabled parents but I also think we would have/should have constituted a chapter of our own. Since this is the launching point of a book, I hope he will cover families led by parents with disabilities in his final work. If you need some inspiration Mr. Solomon, the Disabled Parenting Project is a good place to start!

[Christian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listening to this felt like the equivalent of finding out that a movie you really enjoyed has a sequel you didn't know about, except that it's a direct to video sequel with a much lower budget and only one of the original cast, but you watch it anyway and are pleasantly surprised to find that it's not that bad. What I'm saying is that this is the Tremors 2 of non-fiction books.

In Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity Andrew Solomon explored in depth families in which the children had a different identity from the rest of society. In New Family Values Solomon is attempting to follow that up by exploring families that are different from the expected norms of society. Throughout this audio program he interviews single parents, adoptive parents, parents without children, parents who used a surrogate, polyamorous parents, polygamous parents and probably others that I'm forgetting. So if you wanted a program that explores the difference between polygamy and polyamory than here it is.

Most of the program is a series of interviews Solomon does with various people from these different families, and I really enjoyed these. But I thought the best parts of the program were where Solomon's voice more clearly came through as he discussed the good and bad sides of many things we kind of take for granted as being good, and when he discussed his own personal way of viewing these societal differences. I especially found fascinating the parts where he pointed out the class problems inherent in surrogacy and adoption, as well as the colonial aspects of adoption (without necessarily using the terms class and colonialism). These were aspects of these institutions that I had never considered, and so I appreciated his insight (It's worth pointing out here that he thinks both of these things are ultimately good, he just thinks we need to be critical of their potential problems), but like everything in this work he doesn't go in depth enough.

I just want the 800 page version, and the good news is that at the end he says that he's working on a book exploring these topics and more. So I guess this isn't Tremors 2; It's that six minute trailer for Cloud Atlas

[Christie Bane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the first Audible Original that I ever listened to, and it was pretty damn good. It's a book about the different configurations of families that make up modern society -- two gay parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, multiple-family households, polygamous/polyamorous families, adults who choose to be childless... I for one applaud the fact that society is finally accepting the idea that family is whatever the individuals involved say it is.

This book is pretty interesting. It's basically investigative journalism format, but instead of being transcribed, the interviews with different individuals are audio recordings. It was almost more like a podcast than a book, but a long, drawn-out, well-developed podcast. I liked it.

One last thing: I must point out that I love the term "child-FREE" as opposed to "child-LESS." Plenty of women are without children on purpose, not because we couldn't find partners or couldn't get pregnant or couldn't afford IVF or adoption, but because we choose autonomy, freedom, self-development and career over spending our whole lives taking care of other people. Childfree is a great word.

[Krista Lukas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thought-provoking audio program that was about different kinds of families as opposed to the traditional mom, dad, and kids. Andrew Solomon commented on and interviewed homosexual couples, surrogate mothers, fertility treatments, adoptive parents, foster families, polygamous, polyandrous, single parents, childfree families, and childless families. His goal is for society to face up to the fact that few families reflect the traditional model anymore, and to value the structures that have taken its place and sprung up alongside it, or maybe just come to light since people are more tolerant of different options. Solomon himself is a gay man, married, and in a complicated web of relationships with other adults who say they are six parents raising four children in three different states. I confess I could not keep it straight in my mind upon my first listen. I may go back and listen to the beginning again sometime.

[Dave Shields · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very interesting collection of stories compiled into a single narrative. It covers a wide variety of new family structures in the modern world and challenges the status quo of marriage, love, children and parents.

There is a clear LGBTQ bias (it’s written by a gay man) and a strong focus on non white, non religious people. So I feel that some stories such as those about foster and adoption could have served better with a different perspective. As a moderate liberal with a Christian background, there were definitely things that I did not feel comfortable with, but that is okay, a story should challenge your beliefs sometimes. Yet, as a father of an adopted children and biological children (one of which is non white), there are many pieces of this story that resonate.

Read this story for a unique life perspective but swallow the bias with a grain of salt.

[SheRa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked the diversity he shows in this book. I just wish that he had spent more time talking about the child FREE lifestyle, instead he over shadowed it with a women’s story of being childLESS and how she finally got pregnant. As with many women like me who have chosen NOT to have kids it’s a battle to make people understand why and I was hoping that this book would explain it better.
I also wish that he had spent more time talking about race, mixed race families are growing rapidly yet they live in a kind of social limbo where they are treated like some unknowable “other”. This otherness is isolating for both the parents and the children born into this union. Coming from a mixed race family I know how that kind of isolation feels.
Hopefully there will be another book where light is shed on these topics and others like them.

[Christien Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was eye opening! Wow! I have my own family situation that I find is interesting to explain—these make me thankful for what I have.

Family to me, is in the heart. I have family members that are related to me just as I have people related to me who aren’t family. I do realize there has to be some standard, but we shouldn’t hold on so tightly to our view as “THE” view that we disenfranchise everyone outside. This book made that evident.

There are people fighting...literally fighting to be loved and included. Very very well done documentary of some of these family situations. Worth the read/listen.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

"If you assume that people with each kind of family structure share common ground with other people in the same situation, the numbers remain small. But if you acknowledge single person, child-free, child-less, foster families, etc. all face the same kinds of disadvantages, then the population of people living outside the mainstream, becomes so vast, that it very nearly is the mainstream."

Such a fun listen, I really enjoyed the commentary podcast-like style Andrew Solomon brought to his audiobook. Family, no matter what style you choose to identify under is hard work. This book brought a new eye-opening perspective to the different challenges those styles bring.

[Arturo Mijangos · Rating 3 out of 5]

A note on my ratings:
* Bad
** Not-Bad
*** Good (Topic, story was interesting/compelling)
**** Great (The writing was great and well organized)
***** Amazing (I want to share it, re-read it, apply it)

I chose this book because I wanted to explore the topic of family from a different perspective. Does Andrew Solomon explore all possible types of families? No, but I believe he was deliberate in choosing types of families that readers might not encounter often.

I enjoyed listening to perspectives that I had never considered. My mind was expanded, I can consider new perspectives.

[Jon Cho · Rating 4 out of 5]

Family is family. I didn’t expect to get a lot from this audiobook, however I ended up getting a private look into worlds I may otherwise have never even known about. Learning about the new ways people are coping with modernity in relation to the family was enlightening. The one thing I found interesting is that across the board there was a consensus that no matter what you do, families are hard.

[Vaia DellaMorte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome Awesome AWESOME Listen!!

[Jackballoon · Rating 3 out of 5]

So many types of families, but I couldn't identify with any of them. however the audiobook was well written and the author was easy to listen to.

[Michael Travis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea. Interesting information but seemed pointed to political and social views.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so good - explored multiple viewpoints of what a family is.

[Lauren Pisani · Rating 4 out of 5]

listened to this for school, shocking

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed the interview nature of this. Being a family therapist gives me the opportunity to see many of these first hand. Interesting.

[Teresa Bruchsaler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audible only because it includes interviews. The author will be writing a book on topic. Very enlightening and great interviews.

[Raymundo Vázquez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cuando Andrew Solomon le confesó a su madre que era gay, ella le dijo en tono disgustado que su mayor dolor era que no tuviera hijos y que terminara solo e infeliz. Resultaba que estaba equivocada. Andrew se casó con un hombre y es padre de dos hijos (por subrogación). El único dolor que tiene es que su madre se extinguiera tan pronto que no haya vivido para verlo.

Su historia forma parte de la serie de entrevistas que componen este audiolibro donde Solomon recorre Estados Unidos para mostrarnos un pedacito de la diversidad de familias que lo componen, juntos con sus retos y satisfacciones.

Hay todo tipo de historias, algunas alegres y hasta divertidas como la de Erik y Joe, dos padres de familias hetero que crecieron en el mismo vecindario y cuyas hijas eran grandes amigas y convivían regularmente. Cada uno a su tiempo "salieron del closet", luego acabaron enamorados y hoy se reúnen con hijos y ex esposas para celebrar el Dia de Gracias y otros eventos familiares. O el de Kirsten, Ira y Boris, una familia de "tres padres" que crían gemelos producto de un óvulo donado, el semen de Ira y el útero de Kirsten. O el de Elizabeth a la que el cáncer la obligó a recurrir a un vientre de alquiler para procrear uno de sus embriones congelados y hoy mantiene una estrecha relación de amistad con esa mujer, Savanna, a quien la considera también madre de su hija.

Pero también hay historias tristes. Como la de April, una niña adoptada que intentó de adolescente contactar con su madre biológica solo para recibir un escrito garabateado de la progenitora diciéndole: "Eres producto de una violación. No sé quién es tu padre. Saber de tu existencia me hace sentir muy mal". O la de Nicole, quien se arrepintió en último momento de dar a su hijo en adopción solo para descubrir horrorizada que una claúsula legal que le establecía un tiempo límite para retractarse ahora le obligaba a ceder a su hijo, y efectivamente no lo recuperó.

El relato incluye otros modelos, como familias que dan acogida temporalmente a hijos refugiados o que les fueron retirados provisionalmente a sus padres. Los que son padres solos y que ya no provienen necesariamente de un divorcio o los que son padres sin hijos y no necesariamente porque son estériles. También la poligamia y las relaciones poliamorosas.

Personalmente, cuando escucho el libro, algunas situaciones me resultan inaceptables. Sin embargo por lo general me limito a decir: "Yo no lo haría". Hasta cierto grado, el libro favorece el debate. Por ejemplo, si la reproducción se considera un derecho, ¿hasta dónde debería apoyar el Estado cuando alguien no puede concebir? La subrogación y otras técnicas de asistencia gestacional son por el momento un privilegio casi exclusivo de ricos. ¿Qué pasa con la ausencia de las figuras maternas o paternas en matrimonios del mismo sexo? Las estadísticas parecen indicar que sus hijos tiene una mayor probabilidad de caer en las adicciones; pero les va muy bien en su aprovechamiento escolar y no parecen sugerir grandes diferencias con respecto a los hijos de familias "tradicionales". Por otro lado, por cada final feliz de subrogación parece haber otras tantas que acaban tan mal que resulta inevitable cuestionar su conveniencia.

Es muy pronto para dar una respuesta definitiva e imparcial. Es curioso que a veces algunos conservadores o religiosos defiendan el modelo de la familia tradicional con tanta vehemencia que pareciera que tuvieran miedo a estar equivocados. Si el modelo tradicional es único y el que demanda la naturaleza ¿no deberían cualquier otro modelo eventualmente demostrarse como un fracaso? Y si no acabase como fracaso ¿eso qué nos sugeriría? Mientras tanto, no podemos negar que puntos de vista extremistas aparecen en todos lados, incluyendo también la misma comunidad LGBT. Así que por el momento nos queda actuar con empatía (que no es lo mismo que simpatía) y promover la tolerancia y el respeto de todas y cada una de las partes involucradas. Algo que nos vendría bien es que dejemos de juzgar personas, individuos, por las ideas que tenemos acerca de un grupo o colectivo sea que represente una preferencia sexual o una religión.

[Andrea McDowell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think of this more as an audio documentary than a book, but if you want to listen to something that will restore your faith in human nature, this is it. Just about every person he interviews is doing their best to be the best parent they are capable of being, most often in extremely trying or unusual circumstances. Listening to them describe the care and depth of thought they put into their choices will make even the smallest of hearts grow.

[Arpine · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have a lot of respect for the people who had the courage and willingness to share their stories with the world – and that’s why this book is getting two starts and not one. Other than that, the book was a disappointment. Despite the multitude of family arrangements described here, it is very one-dimensional, and the gist of each story is the same: there is a stigma of what a family should be, and there are people who are brave to break the stigma. They overcome challenges to make things work. They made a choice, and they have to struggle because of it.

There’s also a small notion that people who have traditional families and relationships do so only because they were brought up that way – girls play with dolls and are made into wanting to be mothers, kids want to become what their parents expect of them, etc.

There are two aspects that are a bit more personal to me that were especially irritating. One is single parenthood. The stories highlighted focused on the challenges of being a single parent and how these women made it work. They are told in a way to invoke sympathy rather than motivation or inspiration. As a single parent, I never took my life as “making it work despite the challenges of single parenthood”. Yes, there are challenges, and there are 2-parent families who don’t have to deal with some things I have to deal with – there are, however, also many “nuclear” families who have a lot more challenges than I do. Every family is different, and every family’s challenges are unique, that are not always dictated by their deviations from family standards. Again, as a single parent, I feel like what people need to hear is not how difficult life of a single parent is, but rather the fact that a single parent family can be full, happy, healthy, and wholesome. This is completely missing here.

Another theme that I found not covered fully was polygamy/polyamory. It is true that there are many, many families out there who live this lifestyle – sometimes they are open with each other about it, sometimes they keep it to themselves. This, however, is not always a choice that people make from the get go (although some do, including some of the book’s characters). Often this is a result of a situation families found themselves in, and they adapt to it to make it work, trying to see it in a positive light (and good for them). This doesn’t happen because traditional family is out of style, but simply because they fell out of love, or cheated/have been cheated on, and they stay put as a sacrifice to their children, fear of being alone, or fear of changes. This type of story is completely missing from the book. If you are talking about people who started off as a normal family and then ended up in other relationships while still married to each other and how good they feel about this arrangement, why not talk about people who tried to make this work, and then broke free in favor of a monogamous relationship, and what they felt after?

The new family values to me are not about breaking the perception and overcoming challenges like this book suggests, it is about compromise and choice, support and self-worth, it’s about being happy, fulfilled, and most of all, it is about love. I didn’t see these values covered here at all, which is unfortunate.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Families are hard and the definition of family is shifting. Legal definitions always lag behind, and some families on the margins are left without protections that they expect and/or need.

Why I started this book: Looked like a short, quick book.

Why I finished it: I finished this in tears. There is a lot of pain in the world, pain when you want to be a parent and can't or pain when you were a parent but you have no legal rights to your child. Solomon focuses on gay parents, surrogacy, polyandry and polygamy, adoption and foster families.
It was fascinating and heartbreaking. I appreciated highlighting the socioeconomic and racial nuances that also add complexity and inequality to these issues.
This is a short book and it doesn't have the time to explore all nontraditional families... but I wish that there was some historical perspective. The traditional family of one heterosexual couple with biological children is so modern. Extended families use to live together, with generations raising children. And with poor healthcare/low life expectancy it was common for parents to remarry after the death of a spouse and not uncommon for children to be raised by step parents with the death of the second original parent. As a genealogist, I discovered children being raised by the surviving spouse of a third marriage. (Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, there are plenty of fairy tales about potential horrors of a step parent.)

Personal pet peeve: As a practicing member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka the Mormons) I was particularly peeved with the polygamist family. Imagine a restaurant that 100 years ago served a pasta dish. You want to eat that dish, so you go to the restaurant. But they don't serve it and are alarmingly clear that they haven't served it for 100 years. (Just looked it up, 129 years.) They kick you out when they find that you are in the back eating the pasta anyway and as you leave the restaurant you leave a bad Yelp review about the service and call the restaurant a cult. If you wanted the pasta that bad you should have made it at home and left the restaurant out of it completely.