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Living Among Meat Eaters: The Vegetarian's Survival Handbook
In this practical volume, Carol J. Adams discusses summer barbecues, Thanksgiving dinner, even the simple business lunch, which can all be cause for issues-packed discussions on the vegetarian lifestyle. This book also offers more than 50 vegetarian recipes.
336 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2001
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1050 people want to read
About the author
Carol J. Adams
80 books344 followersCarol J. Adams is a feminist-vegetarian theorist and author of books on eco-feminism and the links between species oppression and gender oppression.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
March 19, 2023
When the first edition of this book came out over 20 years ago, it was like a bolt from the blue for me. I had never experienced a book that spoke so directly to my lived experience before. I was a vegetarian, I was in college and I was getting a lot of crap, to put it bluntly. Actually, since I had been a vegetarian since childhood, I had years’ worth of defensive omnivore comments under my belt.
Suddenly, so much of what I had been experiencing came into sharp focus. Even though I am non-confrontational and unthreatening to possibly an unfortunate degree, the amount of hostility and anger that would rear itself when others learned that I was a vegetarian—or even simply that I cared about animals—used to be so bewildering.
In some cases, this wasn’t even as a result of anything that could be construed as activism on my part, but rather people noticing that I wasn’t eating the same things they were and attempting to “snap me back in line.”
I began to learn that these reactions sometimes had much more to do with what was going on in others’ minds than anything I was doing.
Referring to people who act in an especially hostile way toward veg*ns, Adams writes:
Until you join a group of meat eaters for a meal, they probably don’t think of themselves as meat eaters. They are diners. Your presence changes their self-definition, and they don’t like it. Because of us, they become “meat eaters.” Saboteurs take the defensiveness they feel about this and magnify it, manifest it, act it out against us.
This insight explains so much:
[W]e aren’t really arguing with the meat eater, but with those beliefs that were enforced at a very young age. And in arguing with those beliefs, we are very, very threatening!
It’s why otherwise thoughtful and educated people trot out the same old stuff about lions, cavemen, “sharp” teeth, the abuse of plants, cows taking over the world, and of course, God!
These are the things we are told as children when we begin asking questions about the world. Our parents probably heard variations of the same things told to them as children. Because we become comfortable in our habits and wish to go along with mainstream culture, we don’t question them. (Going along with damaging societal norms is something everyone, including veg*ns, do to one degree or another. We all need to check ourselves.)
In the mind of the defensive person, the veg*n isn’t questioning the factory farming system or the observable myth that humans must consume animals to survive. Instead, they’re questioning Mom, Dad, popular culture, the church, etc. etc. (No wonder they freak out!)
One of the greatest gifts of this book is that it gives us permission to gracefully exit a conversation. Adams gives us the tools to help us discern whether a person is genuinely curious or simply trolling, and ways to shut things down before emotions get heated. Many people who are veg*n for ethical reasons particularly, feel that we are letting the animals down if we don’t have a great response to every challenge and question, even when things start getting into ridiculous territory. Not only do mealtime fights fail to spare animals from suffering, they end up creating more suffering—our own! We need to have compassion for ourselves as well as the animals.
And if you think this book is nothing but a litany of negative interactions with omnivores, think again. There are positive stories of thoughtfulness and kindness shown by omni friends and family--even to the point of shutting down hostile omnis who begin haranguing a veg*n. This is the way of living among meat eaters that we should all strive for.
Although other authors have since explored this territory with varying degrees of success and insight, LIVING AMONG MEAT EATERS will always hold a special spot in my heart. It’s true, there are some aspects of this book that come across as dated, even with the modern updates. (The idea of going to someone’s home for dinner, especially if it isn’t a holiday, seems like something from a bygone era to me at least.)
Despite both plant-based foods and knowledge of the issues around animal agriculture becoming much more mainstream since the early 2000s, this book remains vitally needed. With the increasing polarization brought on by social media, we’re encountering more arguments in our daily lives than ever before, about every topic imaginable. If we want to reduce animal suffering and address a variety of other important topics, we need to find spots of common ground.
Suddenly, so much of what I had been experiencing came into sharp focus. Even though I am non-confrontational and unthreatening to possibly an unfortunate degree, the amount of hostility and anger that would rear itself when others learned that I was a vegetarian—or even simply that I cared about animals—used to be so bewildering.
In some cases, this wasn’t even as a result of anything that could be construed as activism on my part, but rather people noticing that I wasn’t eating the same things they were and attempting to “snap me back in line.”
I began to learn that these reactions sometimes had much more to do with what was going on in others’ minds than anything I was doing.
Referring to people who act in an especially hostile way toward veg*ns, Adams writes:
Until you join a group of meat eaters for a meal, they probably don’t think of themselves as meat eaters. They are diners. Your presence changes their self-definition, and they don’t like it. Because of us, they become “meat eaters.” Saboteurs take the defensiveness they feel about this and magnify it, manifest it, act it out against us.
This insight explains so much:
[W]e aren’t really arguing with the meat eater, but with those beliefs that were enforced at a very young age. And in arguing with those beliefs, we are very, very threatening!
It’s why otherwise thoughtful and educated people trot out the same old stuff about lions, cavemen, “sharp” teeth, the abuse of plants, cows taking over the world, and of course, God!
These are the things we are told as children when we begin asking questions about the world. Our parents probably heard variations of the same things told to them as children. Because we become comfortable in our habits and wish to go along with mainstream culture, we don’t question them. (Going along with damaging societal norms is something everyone, including veg*ns, do to one degree or another. We all need to check ourselves.)
In the mind of the defensive person, the veg*n isn’t questioning the factory farming system or the observable myth that humans must consume animals to survive. Instead, they’re questioning Mom, Dad, popular culture, the church, etc. etc. (No wonder they freak out!)
One of the greatest gifts of this book is that it gives us permission to gracefully exit a conversation. Adams gives us the tools to help us discern whether a person is genuinely curious or simply trolling, and ways to shut things down before emotions get heated. Many people who are veg*n for ethical reasons particularly, feel that we are letting the animals down if we don’t have a great response to every challenge and question, even when things start getting into ridiculous territory. Not only do mealtime fights fail to spare animals from suffering, they end up creating more suffering—our own! We need to have compassion for ourselves as well as the animals.
And if you think this book is nothing but a litany of negative interactions with omnivores, think again. There are positive stories of thoughtfulness and kindness shown by omni friends and family--even to the point of shutting down hostile omnis who begin haranguing a veg*n. This is the way of living among meat eaters that we should all strive for.
Although other authors have since explored this territory with varying degrees of success and insight, LIVING AMONG MEAT EATERS will always hold a special spot in my heart. It’s true, there are some aspects of this book that come across as dated, even with the modern updates. (The idea of going to someone’s home for dinner, especially if it isn’t a holiday, seems like something from a bygone era to me at least.)
Despite both plant-based foods and knowledge of the issues around animal agriculture becoming much more mainstream since the early 2000s, this book remains vitally needed. With the increasing polarization brought on by social media, we’re encountering more arguments in our daily lives than ever before, about every topic imaginable. If we want to reduce animal suffering and address a variety of other important topics, we need to find spots of common ground.
March 4, 2008
I attempted to read this years ago. When I cleaned out my cookbook shelf I found it again and started to read it. I did find that many of the anecdotes that people shared throughout the book did resonate with my own. It definitely is hard to be a vegetarian at times. I've chosen this lifestyle for many reasons: health, caring about animals, and the dislike of the taste of meat.
The book did get me to reflect on why I've made this choice. It also asked me to consider how my choice has impacted my family and others. I agree that many of the reactions I receive about being vegetarian come from other's lack of education about the veg lifestyle. I'm often asked about where I get my protein, when in fact I doubt many people could even state how much protein they eat a day.
There are days that I do wish my husband was vegetarian but I definitely feel that he is a strong supporter of my lifestyle. He takes time to separate his meat products from the rest of the food in the fridge and more often he is eating the vegetarian meals than meat.
The best I can say about this book is it did make me reflect about my own vegetarianism. The author does raise some interesting ideas about all people are just "blocked" vegetarians and why others react the way they do to vegetarians. There are many times when well meaning friends make insensitive comments about my diet but I truly just put it down to lack of education and empathy not guilt or being blocked.
The writing style itself is probably why I did not finish the book the first time. I felt that the author brought the same issues up over and over without much in the way of new information. Perhaps its because I had already thought about some of the information she shared but there were times when I felt she was phrasing statements the same as the chapter before.
The book did get me to reflect on why I've made this choice. It also asked me to consider how my choice has impacted my family and others. I agree that many of the reactions I receive about being vegetarian come from other's lack of education about the veg lifestyle. I'm often asked about where I get my protein, when in fact I doubt many people could even state how much protein they eat a day.
There are days that I do wish my husband was vegetarian but I definitely feel that he is a strong supporter of my lifestyle. He takes time to separate his meat products from the rest of the food in the fridge and more often he is eating the vegetarian meals than meat.
The best I can say about this book is it did make me reflect about my own vegetarianism. The author does raise some interesting ideas about all people are just "blocked" vegetarians and why others react the way they do to vegetarians. There are many times when well meaning friends make insensitive comments about my diet but I truly just put it down to lack of education and empathy not guilt or being blocked.
The writing style itself is probably why I did not finish the book the first time. I felt that the author brought the same issues up over and over without much in the way of new information. Perhaps its because I had already thought about some of the information she shared but there were times when I felt she was phrasing statements the same as the chapter before.
May 11, 2011
While some aspects of this book can be handy, such as recognizing the body language of someone who is trying to bait a vegan into having a fight, other aspects of it aren't so hot.
There are two scenarios presented where vegans are put in situations where they have to suffer in silence around insensitive omnivores, and the recommended way of handling things is to remain silent and not say anything.
When someone says, "Are you a vegetarian or WHAT," and the vegan stammers, hems, and haws, then makes up a lie about how her entire family eats the way she does after her father had a heart attack, it puts the omnivores at ease, and she denied a very important aspect of her lifestyle because she was being questioned by clients.
Frankly, all I took away from this book is that we are supposed to lie or avoid the subject in order to win friends and influence omnivores. There are ways of handling things without being combative, and without lying or suffering in silence. This book doesn't explore those options deeply enough.
There are two scenarios presented where vegans are put in situations where they have to suffer in silence around insensitive omnivores, and the recommended way of handling things is to remain silent and not say anything.
When someone says, "Are you a vegetarian or WHAT," and the vegan stammers, hems, and haws, then makes up a lie about how her entire family eats the way she does after her father had a heart attack, it puts the omnivores at ease, and she denied a very important aspect of her lifestyle because she was being questioned by clients.
Frankly, all I took away from this book is that we are supposed to lie or avoid the subject in order to win friends and influence omnivores. There are ways of handling things without being combative, and without lying or suffering in silence. This book doesn't explore those options deeply enough.
May 13, 2007
Best vegan support book I've read, especially regarding how to cope with an overwhelmingly non-vegan world. Helpful for vegans to read before holidays, family gatherings, etc. If you like this book, also highly recommended is Vegan Freak by Bob & Jenna Torres.
December 20, 2009
I didn't enjoy this book as much as I had hoped to.. for a couple of reasons. The main thesis of this book centers around the authors opinion that all meat eaters are "blocked vegetarians" with a hole in their conscience. I don't really agree with that. On the other hand, I do agree with the idea that all meat eaters are potential vegetarians.. but the way the author clung to this idea throughout the book sort of bothered me. I found it a little condescending and definitely a bit repetitive. I feel like I probably would have enjoyed this book more if I had read it when I first became vegetarian, but after 7 years of being veg, I think I've already found ways to deal with a lot of these issues. With that being said though, there are some great resources in this book and I did find the last two chapters especially helpful. Also, some of the suggestions on how to deal with certain questions meat eaters like to ask might come in handy. Especially the "..but where do you get your protein?" question. I get asked this ALL the time and I still have to fight the urge to stab people with my fork when they ask me. ;)
There was one section in particular that I could really relate to. The author talks about how she realized she needed to take her life as a vegan more seriously and that's something I really need to do myself.
"First I had to recognize that no one could meet my needs but myself." Yes, yes, yes.. once you realize and understand this, you can begin to take charge of how you live your life. Research all you can about veganism, begin to gather recipes and resources, learn how to cook, learn different cooking techniques and about the many different vegan options/ingredients available, etc.. this is what I personally need to master and I appreciate this book for pointing that out to me. :) I'm a lazy vegan and maybe this book will be the kick in the pants I need to work on that.
The final chapter is full of recipes. None of them really jumped out at me or seemed particularly special but I did bookmark a handful that sound tasty.
Overall, I can see how this book would be a wonderful resource to a new vegetarian. There's a great letter at the end of the book to "Parents of Vegetarians" which is excellent and should be really helpful for teens making the switch, especially if their parents are a bit resistant to the idea.
There was one section in particular that I could really relate to. The author talks about how she realized she needed to take her life as a vegan more seriously and that's something I really need to do myself.
"First I had to recognize that no one could meet my needs but myself." Yes, yes, yes.. once you realize and understand this, you can begin to take charge of how you live your life. Research all you can about veganism, begin to gather recipes and resources, learn how to cook, learn different cooking techniques and about the many different vegan options/ingredients available, etc.. this is what I personally need to master and I appreciate this book for pointing that out to me. :) I'm a lazy vegan and maybe this book will be the kick in the pants I need to work on that.
The final chapter is full of recipes. None of them really jumped out at me or seemed particularly special but I did bookmark a handful that sound tasty.
Overall, I can see how this book would be a wonderful resource to a new vegetarian. There's a great letter at the end of the book to "Parents of Vegetarians" which is excellent and should be really helpful for teens making the switch, especially if their parents are a bit resistant to the idea.
June 30, 2008
I read this book before going to visit cattle-raising, hunting, fishing, meat-loving in-laws. I was hoping for some guidance about negotiating meals with folks who honestly are completely puzzled about why one would opt to not eat meat. The book was pretty condescending to omnivores describing them as "blocked vegetarians." It assumed all veggie love was based on a profound love of animals. People are vegetarian for a lot of different reasons. The book encouraged not discussing one's choice to not eat "flesh" during meal times. This, of course, happens to vegetarians or people who have lots of food allergies or refuse to eat green things all the time. Shutting the conversation down doesn't seem polite or useful.
April 25, 2019
Decent, rational advice that still applies today despite being written 18 years ago. It helped me feel more at peace with some compromises I begrudgingly have to make in order to exist in this world. She offers a wide range of options. It leans toward nonconfrontation at times in ways some people may find too lenient. But, as a vegan of about 14 years, I can say that nonconfrontation is sometimes the only way to exist in this world of extreme exploitation and oppression without constantly being isolated or in tears.
May 13, 2011
I loved this book! It has so many great suggestions and helpful tips. This would have been so handy at any point in my life, but particularly since I've been a vegetarian; I wish I had read it years ago! But I am grateful to have benefitted from its wisdom now. It is not only great for dealing with meat-eaters, but it has so many great ways to communicate more positively and productively with others in every area of life. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK!
December 29, 2009
This is my favorite vegetarian book, and one of my favorite books, period. Adams is a gentle guide through the many "dangerous waters" veg*ns must navigate through, from Thanksgiving dinner with the extended family to business lunches at a steakhouse. It offers tips for graceful responses that even an ultra-shy person like me can handle. Every veg*n should read this book.
July 15, 2024
HOW DO VEGANS GET ALONG IN A MEAT-EATING WORLD?
Carol J. Adams is also the author of books such as 'The Sexual Politics of Meat: A Feminist-vegetarian Critical Theory,' 'How to Eat Like a Vegetarian Even If You Never Want to Be One: More Than 250 Shortcuts, Strategies, and Simple Solutions,' 'Meditations on the Inner Art of Vegetarianism: Spiritual Practices for Body and Soul,' etc.
She wrote in the first chapter of this 2001 book, "Plenty of books exist that tell you how to become a vegetarian. This book discusses how to relate to others after you have taken that advice. This book is not about diet; it is about self-understanding and interpersonal relationships... (It) wants to transform your experiences from the negative to the positive... That is what this book offers: the opportunity to gain some control over difficult situations."
She states, "the thesis of this book is that you should see every meat eater as a blocked vegetarian. Despite knowing at some level that plant-based vegetarianism is better for them, meat eaters have decided not to change. Something is keeping them blocked... (we should) relate to them as POTENTIAL vegetarians..." (Pg. 12, 14) "(Y)ou remind the meat eater that there is a choice." (Pg. 45) She later notes that the values undergirding vegetarianism---health of the body, and of the planet; compassion for others, etc.---"are not unique to vegetarianism. These values may be expressed by our friends in other areas of their lives where they are unblocked." (Pg. 73)
Ultimately, "the pertinent question is not 'Are you at peace with everyone else's diet?' The issue is only, 'Are you at peace with your own diet?'" (Pg. 33) If your spouse/partner's meat-eating offends you, she asks, "Are you trying to punish your partner for the world's meat eating? ... The meat eater then carries the weight of the meat-eating world's sins on his back." (Pg. 153)
She suggests that "All that is required for meat eaters to be open to vegetarianism is for them to eat vegetarian foods in a nonthreatening atmosphere... You can't talk a vegan meal. It has to be experienced..." (Pg. 200, 208)
This is an excellent, practical, and compassionate treatment of deal with the reactions of others to veganism.
Carol J. Adams is also the author of books such as 'The Sexual Politics of Meat: A Feminist-vegetarian Critical Theory,' 'How to Eat Like a Vegetarian Even If You Never Want to Be One: More Than 250 Shortcuts, Strategies, and Simple Solutions,' 'Meditations on the Inner Art of Vegetarianism: Spiritual Practices for Body and Soul,' etc.
She wrote in the first chapter of this 2001 book, "Plenty of books exist that tell you how to become a vegetarian. This book discusses how to relate to others after you have taken that advice. This book is not about diet; it is about self-understanding and interpersonal relationships... (It) wants to transform your experiences from the negative to the positive... That is what this book offers: the opportunity to gain some control over difficult situations."
She states, "the thesis of this book is that you should see every meat eater as a blocked vegetarian. Despite knowing at some level that plant-based vegetarianism is better for them, meat eaters have decided not to change. Something is keeping them blocked... (we should) relate to them as POTENTIAL vegetarians..." (Pg. 12, 14) "(Y)ou remind the meat eater that there is a choice." (Pg. 45) She later notes that the values undergirding vegetarianism---health of the body, and of the planet; compassion for others, etc.---"are not unique to vegetarianism. These values may be expressed by our friends in other areas of their lives where they are unblocked." (Pg. 73)
Ultimately, "the pertinent question is not 'Are you at peace with everyone else's diet?' The issue is only, 'Are you at peace with your own diet?'" (Pg. 33) If your spouse/partner's meat-eating offends you, she asks, "Are you trying to punish your partner for the world's meat eating? ... The meat eater then carries the weight of the meat-eating world's sins on his back." (Pg. 153)
She suggests that "All that is required for meat eaters to be open to vegetarianism is for them to eat vegetarian foods in a nonthreatening atmosphere... You can't talk a vegan meal. It has to be experienced..." (Pg. 200, 208)
This is an excellent, practical, and compassionate treatment of deal with the reactions of others to veganism.
January 31, 2020
I read this years ago and it brought me a lot of peace. I need to get a copy and revisit it. Must read for any vegans/vegetarians dealing with omnis (especially unsupportive or antagonistic ones) or those feeling helpless and struggling to see positive light in a non-vegan world.
February 11, 2018
A very approachable book that will help build confidence and reinforces my decision. I like the non-judgment approach.
V
V
January 28, 2021
somewhat helpful. good recipes
May 17, 2025
Good tips
October 11, 2007
I keep looking for a book for vegetarians and for pseudo-vegetarians and for omnivores who would like to understand vegetarianism but can't get past the dogma of groups like PETA. This is not that book. Not that the author is completely polarizing - she tries her best to bring balance to her meatless beat manifesto - but I couldn't help but attempt to read her book through the filter of a non-vegetarian, and more often than not I picked up on a condescending tone that I'm not sure is completely productive to building the bridges for a vegetarian life in a non-vegetarian society. The book truly is well-meaning, with lots of recipes and practical information about nutrition - I will be keeping it on my bookshelf as a resource for a long time to come - but I guess if I'm looking for the feel-good book of a lifetime for veggies and the people who love 'em (or hate to love 'em), I'm going to have to pen it myself.
January 8, 2015
OK, I really enjoyed the experience of reading this book, having recently moved to an area that's not very vegetarian-friendly. Reading it was like, "Ahhh, someone understands me! But also this person is maybe kind of off the deep end about all of this!" I definitely do NOT recommend even touching this book if you are not vegetarian or vegan because it is extremely patronizing toward meat eaters. But if you are a vegetarian and are a li'l tired of being patronized by meat eaters it might be enjoyable to covertly read this.
Also this book is from 2002 and not all of it has aged well; eg it keeps advising the reader to offer to fax their friends vegetarian info sheets. It does have some good conversational strategies for how to get through meals without making anybody feel bad, which is mostly what I wanted from this book. Hooray!
Also this book is from 2002 and not all of it has aged well; eg it keeps advising the reader to offer to fax their friends vegetarian info sheets. It does have some good conversational strategies for how to get through meals without making anybody feel bad, which is mostly what I wanted from this book. Hooray!
September 1, 2013
There is no other book out there that so carefully considers the often contentious and challenging daily interactions that we vegans and other vegetarians have with our omnivore friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers. And thanks heavens for it because the social aspects of transitioning to a more compassionate way of eating are more challenging than the food transition itself. I think Carol Adams displays considerable wisdom and psychological insight into what is really going on in the minds of vegans and omnivores and why the dynamics between the two play out. Many of her strategies for responding to these situations are very helpful. At this point, the book is getting dated and I would love to see an updated edition.
August 5, 2015
I enjoyed reading the book, but it had its flaws. First, it was repetitive, which is annoying. Second, many of the "solutions" seem passive aggressive rather than helpful. She basically advises us to never talk about veganism during mealtime, particularly when others are eating meat, or whenever anyone is questioning about veganism in an aggressive way. I was hoping for some gentle way to talk about it, rather than suggestions to not talk at all. However, I do love that she views all meat eaters as "blocked vegetarians." That certainly defines me before we changed our diet. I think most people probably want to at least eat more vegetables as well as less meat, and would enjoy learning how, though they may be intimidated by complete conversion to a plant-based diet.
June 30, 2020
This book was very repetitive at times. I would have probably found it more useful when I first became a vegan 10 years ago. A person in their teens or early 20s would benefit more from this book.
Although reading this did provide me with empathy at certain points, I think Adams is WAY too generous in her assumption that people in opposition to veganism are just blocked vegetarians. The recipes which take up almost the last half of the book are outdated at this point.
I still appreciate the author and the many other books she has written about vegan feminism.
Although reading this did provide me with empathy at certain points, I think Adams is WAY too generous in her assumption that people in opposition to veganism are just blocked vegetarians. The recipes which take up almost the last half of the book are outdated at this point.
I still appreciate the author and the many other books she has written about vegan feminism.
May 10, 2008
I read this a long time ago, and honestly I guess I'm back to what Adams calls a "blocked vegetarian" (i.e., omnivore), but I remember this as a very thoughtful, reassuring, and comprehensive guide. It's not about why or how-to become vegetarian/vegan, but what to do afterwards. And the recipe section is great, at least the ones I've tried so far; lots of good ones for mixed veg*n/omni crowds--I've made the chocolate cream pie MANY times!
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November 8, 2008Living Among Meat Eaters - Carol Adams
I found this book very good. It helped me to understand the reactions of others to my vegan choice. As for instance her concept of ‘blocked' vegetarians is especially iluminating, and as i have found very common.
Adams also wrote Pornography of Meat which i found interesting and provocative, though i think she is stretching things a little at times, which is actually just fine.
I found this book very good. It helped me to understand the reactions of others to my vegan choice. As for instance her concept of ‘blocked' vegetarians is especially iluminating, and as i have found very common.
Adams also wrote Pornography of Meat which i found interesting and provocative, though i think she is stretching things a little at times, which is actually just fine.
August 31, 2010
This is "one of those books" that's hard to rate because while I found some of the information really helpful, other stuff was not. That will probably be the case for any veg*ns that read this book. I wish I'd read it sooner, though, because I think it really does help to outline responses to those strange or rude questions we get, without making the situation into a conflict or totally derailing the conversation.
September 19, 2013
Great book. Balanced, super-thoughtful advice for responding to criticism and comments from meat lovers, and suggestions about being kind and responsive of meat eaters' fears and feelings about vegetarianism in general.
September 4, 2011
This book points out some excellent ways to deflect animosity from non-vegetarians! Somehow, though, I found my interest waning towards the end and couldn't manage to finish it completely.
March 4, 2016
I recommend this book for all vegans.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews