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overheard at waitrose: poetry of the public

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Following the boom of the popular British meme, this poetic compilation of quotes overheard at Waitrose stores and posted across various social media platforms, is guaranteed to make you laugh.

104 pages of gossiping, loving and pestering of the British upper class, accompanied by illustrations, will definitely not disappoint.

95 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 7, 2018

50 people are currently reading
181 people want to read

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Idiocratea

6 books5 followers

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5 stars
133 (26%)
4 stars
163 (32%)
3 stars
132 (26%)
2 stars
52 (10%)
1 star
21 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
Profile Image for Alice-Elizabeth (Prolific Reader Alice).
1,163 reviews165 followers
September 27, 2019
Read on Kindle Unlimited!

So here in the UK, we have a supermarket chain called Waitrose and this is a collection of poetry and comments made and shared by shoppers of the supermarket, which in turn is the basis for this book. I liked the illustrations. Some of the poetry was funny but not everything was.
Profile Image for Jo Chorlton.
128 reviews
June 14, 2023
My choice for a book club book on poetry. It made me laugh out loud and reminded me that poetry is best shared as I read most of it out loud to my husband who also laughed. Short little snippets of overheard conversation which made me both wonder about and create a back story for the speaker (and listener!) I enjoyed it's gentle poke at the pomposity, and absurdity of the middle classes, of who I am one. Would thoroughly recommend a visit to your local Waitrose then a dive into this book, preferably with someone else who will then listen as you read out 'just one more' and enjoy it with you.
Profile Image for Mel Steadman Hunt.
772 reviews31 followers
January 1, 2024
Not what I expected to be my first read of 2024, but when I found it on Kindle Unlimited and had nothing else to read at the time, it did the perfect job. I picked this as my Popsugar Reading Challenge advanced prompt number 3, a collection of at least 24 poems. These poems were very funny and most of them very believable to be something you would overhear at waitrose. Very glad to have picked this collection up, especially as I very rarely read poetry at all.
Profile Image for Fay Pretty.
346 reviews
January 8, 2022
i would have a breakdown but i’ve got a facial booked at 2pm.

A short series of snippets from overheard conversations at Waitrose, is both a quick easy read and a satirical piece of British classist humour. Whilst there’s definitely the question- how much of this is true? After recently moving next to a Waitrose, I honestly believe the majority could definitely be true. I laughed out loud, then questioned what this world is coming to. It's just that sort of book.
Profile Image for Suzanne.
15 reviews
December 27, 2018
What makes this book so entertaining and funny, is the source of the content - live conversations overheard in Waitrose, from real people we stand next to in the queue. Those stressed out upper class customers having a melt down because their little darling has to go without foie gras in his luncheon box, due to a stock shortage. A highly recommended stroll through the aisles, that will leave you feeling lighter, smiling and perhaps a little peckish. I do hope there is a sequel to this book. I loved it!
Profile Image for Isabelle.
Author 18 books80 followers
April 30, 2019
A collection of overheard sayings

Conversations to make you giggle. People are ridiculous and this book highlights the funny side of our self obsessions and relationship with class and money
Profile Image for Chelsea.
22 reviews7 followers
March 29, 2019
This rating is purely for having made me laugh
Profile Image for Chloe.
116 reviews12 followers
October 24, 2019
Passed the time

Was funny in some areas, something to pass the time if you want a quick read. Wouldn’t say it was a best seller
Profile Image for Hannah Kim.
100 reviews
January 10, 2024
quick & fun
but i do think some of the humor got lost on me bc I’ve never stepped foot in a waitrose or within a million miles of one.
Profile Image for Yoko.
202 reviews5 followers
August 13, 2024

read some of these to my boyfriend and we had a chuckle , cant believe people like this actually exist lol
Profile Image for Faye.
84 reviews8 followers
October 3, 2023
A few funny poems but mainly just British upper class nonsense which I find infuriating rather than funny. I'm glad it was only a 5 minute read.
Profile Image for Leanne.
296 reviews1 follower
February 18, 2024
An excellent reading experience.

Enjoyed every second of it
Profile Image for Lea-Mai Carter.
145 reviews2 followers
May 11, 2019
I didn’t know what to expect with this. Whether the title was to draw you in or if it was actually true. Turns out these are things people have actually heard in Waitrose.

The huge stereotype around people who shop at Waitrose was portrayed really well throughout this and how we imagine the customers to be.

Some of the poems/quotes were funny, some weren’t. I wouldn’t recommend but it’s good if you want something silly to read. However a lot of it feels exaggerated and false.
Profile Image for Catherine.
400 reviews7 followers
April 18, 2022
These are bloody marvelous. I have met these people. I have maybe accidentally been one of these people on occasion. Delicious.
58 reviews
December 27, 2022
It was a silly 10 minute read. Funny for what it was. Will pass this off to someone else, I’m sure.

There is no way most of these “overheard quotations” are real, but they are funny, nevertheless.

I suppose every region has a high-end grocery store. In BC, it is Urban Fare, but having been to the UK a few times, I am well aware of Waitrose: “Orlando, put down the papayas!”

As reviewer Dani also mentioned, it was a nice, quick cheat to improve my shameful 2022 GoodReads Reading Challenge. 😉

Oh, and thank you, Robert, for the Christmas gift. 🥰
Profile Image for Tristan.
1,462 reviews18 followers
November 25, 2022
A very short and very quick read on Kindle Unlimited.

This collection of (allegedly) real life overheard remarks is very funny. Some of them are mere eye-rolls, others genuine belly-laughs. The few quotes from staff are amongst the best - withering put-downs. But all of it is so plausible - yes, I’ve met these people more than once. British classist humour remains relevant.

However, this is one of those throw away novelty books, a fleeting pleasure never to be repeated, so three stars only.
Profile Image for Agata.
29 reviews2 followers
December 28, 2020
'perhaps you'd like to tell
my daughter
why her packed lunch cencioni
is without fresh pesto?'

'i'm going to
the Bahamas next week.
trying to decide on
which cleanser to pack
is actually really stressful'

'no i'm not a snob
but people who aren't rich
disgust me'

Still trying to figure out if I found the little book more amusing, shocking or hard to believe. Take your pick.
Profile Image for Eve L-A Witherington.
Author 80 books50 followers
September 4, 2025
I firstly have to say as the 'posh' UK supermarket this book captures the array of characters you meet in there amazingly, with many hilarious points captured indeed and little sketches to annotate the points too it was a great book to unwind and read.

I also live by a Waitrose and never heard anything as remotely fun as in this book sadly!
Profile Image for Jyoti Sharma.
52 reviews3 followers
December 26, 2020
U do hear such things!!
Especially laughed at ‘you will like potatoes darling it’s what gnocchi is made of’
And ‘where is the free range weetabix?’
Also ‘you mean to say you eat an apple with your bare hands? without knife and fork?
how liberating.’
15 mins read !
Profile Image for TwoDrinks.
500 reviews
February 19, 2021
I mean it’s daft but very funny. I almost can’t believe there are people like that. Yet I want there to be so my inner proletariat can laugh at their nonsense. A good quick read for when you’re fed up of Lockdown and your brain has ceased to function correctly.
Profile Image for Ava (Harri) Dacre.
60 reviews
June 18, 2023
Absolutely hilarious, I’m a nosey human being and reading things like this make my day - read it in 15 mins on a break from my 11 hour shift and it has made my day unbelievably better. Hilarious, I can’t describe it any other way, for your own well-being and happiness please read it.
Profile Image for Jayeesha Taneja.
3 reviews
April 17, 2025
it’s such a beautifully curated book- i wouldn’t classify so much to say its poetry, but it really makes you stop and think about everyday life and conversations around the mundane things, the joy, sorrow and bliss around its simplicity
Profile Image for Cinderalaa.
22 reviews
February 1, 2026
“yes madam
basil
thyme and oregano
are in aisle two.

no darling
i’m looking
for my children”

This book truly proved that with the rich comes absurdity…
Zero critical thinking yet how are they at the top of the food chain??
Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews

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