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Nobody's Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls
Nobody's Victim is an unflinching look at a hidden world most people don't know exists—one of stalking, blackmail, and sexual violence, online and off—and the incredible story of how one lawyer, determined to fight back, turned her own hell into a revolution.
“We are all a moment away from having our life overtaken by somebody hell-bent on our destruction.” That grim reality—gleaned from personal experience and twenty years of trauma work—is a fundamental principle of Carrie Goldberg's cutting-edge victims' rights law firm.
Riveting and an essential timely conversation-starter, Nobody's Victim invites readers to join Goldberg on the front lines of the war against sexual violence and privacy violations as she fights for revenge porn and sextortion laws; uncovers major Title IX violations; and sues the hell out of tech companies, schools, and powerful sexual predators. Her battleground is the courtroom; her crusade is to transform clients from victims into warriors.
In gripping detail, Goldberg shares the diabolical ways her clients are attacked and how she, through her unique combination of advocacy, badass relentlessness, risk-taking, and client-empowerment, pursues justice for them all. There are stories about a woman whose ex-boyfriend made fake bomb threats in her name and caused a national panic; a fifteen-year-old girl who was sexually assaulted on school grounds and then suspended when she reported the attack; and a man whose ex-boyfriend used a dating app to send more than 1,200 men to ex's home and work for sex. With breathtaking honesty, Goldberg also shares her own shattering story about why she began her work and the uphill battle of building a business.
While her clients are a diverse group—from every gender, sexual orientation, age, class, race, religion, occupation, and background—the offenders are not. They are highly predictable. Goldberg offers a taxonomy of the four types of offenders she encounters most often at her firm: assholes, psychos, pervs, and trolls. “If we recognize the patterns of these perpetrators,” she explains, “we know how to fight back.”
Deeply personal yet achingly universal, Nobody's Victim is a bold and much-needed analysis of victim protection in the internet era. It is an urgent warning of a coming crisis, a predictor of imminent danger, and a weapon to take back control and protect ourselves—both online and off.
“We are all a moment away from having our life overtaken by somebody hell-bent on our destruction.” That grim reality—gleaned from personal experience and twenty years of trauma work—is a fundamental principle of Carrie Goldberg's cutting-edge victims' rights law firm.
Riveting and an essential timely conversation-starter, Nobody's Victim invites readers to join Goldberg on the front lines of the war against sexual violence and privacy violations as she fights for revenge porn and sextortion laws; uncovers major Title IX violations; and sues the hell out of tech companies, schools, and powerful sexual predators. Her battleground is the courtroom; her crusade is to transform clients from victims into warriors.
In gripping detail, Goldberg shares the diabolical ways her clients are attacked and how she, through her unique combination of advocacy, badass relentlessness, risk-taking, and client-empowerment, pursues justice for them all. There are stories about a woman whose ex-boyfriend made fake bomb threats in her name and caused a national panic; a fifteen-year-old girl who was sexually assaulted on school grounds and then suspended when she reported the attack; and a man whose ex-boyfriend used a dating app to send more than 1,200 men to ex's home and work for sex. With breathtaking honesty, Goldberg also shares her own shattering story about why she began her work and the uphill battle of building a business.
While her clients are a diverse group—from every gender, sexual orientation, age, class, race, religion, occupation, and background—the offenders are not. They are highly predictable. Goldberg offers a taxonomy of the four types of offenders she encounters most often at her firm: assholes, psychos, pervs, and trolls. “If we recognize the patterns of these perpetrators,” she explains, “we know how to fight back.”
Deeply personal yet achingly universal, Nobody's Victim is a bold and much-needed analysis of victim protection in the internet era. It is an urgent warning of a coming crisis, a predictor of imminent danger, and a weapon to take back control and protect ourselves—both online and off.
304 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 13, 2019
121 people are currently reading
6762 people want to read
About the author
Carrie Goldberg
1 book56 followersCarrie Goldberg is the owner of the Brooklyn victims' rights law firm C.A. Goldberg, PLLC, which litigates for targets of harassment, sexual assault, blackmail, and revenge porn. She is from Aberdeen, Washington.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 278 reviews
April 11, 2023
Review Women who are victims of the sort of extreme trolls who dox them, cyberstalkers and other online nasties that make them feel threatened have a hard time getting justice. It is the usual patriarchal biases against women - victim blaming and trivialisation of the harm caused by online harassment - that used to be the lot of rape victims brave enough to report the crime.
This victim-blaming takes the form of the police, judiciary and defence lawyers suggesting that the victims brought it on themselves, just as they did with rape (remember the days of 'she was 'out alone at 10 pm and wearing a short skirt') by asking if they posted revealing photos online, or if they shared personal information that could have led the abuser to them and failed to protect themselves.
This creates the impression that the victim provoked the abuser. It ignores the fact that abusers are responsible for their own behaviour and that victims have the right to express themselves and use their phones etc without fear of harassment and abuse. It, like rape, like having to wear modest dress, or burkhas, that men can't help themselves and if they do wrong it is women's fault for provoking them. This is also really unfair by lumping all men together as having wicked impulses that women are responsible for controlling.
The author says that in the US, defence attorneys use such tactics as discrediting their character, using gender stereotypes and trivializing the harm they experience and may even use their sexual history to pour scorn on the victim.
The change in the attitude to rape was a long time in coming, and sometimes hasn't come at all. Remember Stanford University rape case. Brock Turner was given a six months sentence (out in 3 with good behaviour) as the judge said, "A prison sentence would have a severe impact on him. I think he will not be a danger to others.” Turner's father said that his son's life had been ruined for 20 minutes of action fueled by alcohol and promiscuity. No one cared about the girl. There was public outrage but my point is the trivialisation of the victim's complaint by the police, lawyer, judiciary, perpetrator and his father, all men. It's a lot like that, says the author for a woman complaining of cyber-stalking.
My own experience I was stalked back in 2008. I had a fairly popular blog and had a lot of trolls who went to extraordinary lengths to slag me off. I was supposedly a paedophile in prison in San Francisco to some, to others a whore on an island (the wrong one) in the Caribbean, and to many others, including at least one person who is also on Goodreads (a good Christian army wife who likes baking, but blocked and continually trolled me for being a Jew and married to a Black man).
After all this harassment which the owners of the blogging site offered sympathy but not much action, a man I thought was a friend who knew me only as 'Petra' but that I had a bookshop and he knew my island, turned up. He merely asked Immigration for the red-headed English lady who had a bookshop. They told him my name and where to find me. Thence began two days of hell before the police deported him.
The family I married into are in politics but if they hadn't been I know for sure that I would have been laughed at as they did when my ex-husband chose to assault me time and again. I closed the blog and came to GR and didn't make any friends for about a year, I just wanted peace.
__________
It's a good book, interesting, not very hopeful, but detailing the situation as it is. I think given the way identity politics are going the waters are going to be muddied further which may impact progress for women on trolling and cyber-stalking. I hope I'm being pessimistic.
__________
Reading notes This is the US version of honour killings.
In the book there is the story of this high school girl, a talented dancer who is taking centre stage in a performance that college scouts will be watching. She sends some pics of her breasts to her high school boyfriend which he forwards to several of his friends. One of his friend's girlfriends picks up the phone and sees the pics and distributes them to everyone she can think of in order to maliciously humiliate the poor girl. She and her friends start a Facebook page which is essentially a bullying tactic.
As soon as the girl finds out her boyfriend has distributed the pics to his friends she goes to the high school principal. He calls in the boyfriend and his friends and they are made to remove the pics from their phones. He declines to punish the boys because he doesn't know who was responsible for the distribution of them.
The dance coach tells the girl that by sending the pics she has fallen below the high moral standards the team requires and punishes her by removing her from the team. Thereby totally removing the possibility of being picked for a university scholarship by talent scouts. She is also given five demerit points. The only way to remove the demerit points is to perform five hundred high kicks in front of the entire team. That is like admitting guilt and having to face public humiliation to expiate her 'sins'.
The parents said that their daughter as captain of the dance team had exhibited leadership and high moral values as she stood up for what was right. Did the school want a role model who kept quiet about sexual abuse?
The message, as in certain of the Arab and Hindu societies that punish women for reporting rape, is that we will make your life a misery (if you are allowed to live) if you should report any sex crime a man might commit. You want a life, you stay quiet and put up with what they dish out. This is enforced by men and the women who through brainwashing from infancy suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. Slut-shaming is part of Stockholm Syndrome. Slut shaming is a considered a female offence, but it's also men that slag off the women they have persuaded to sleep with them, even to the girlfriend they are presently sleeping with as well as to their men friends. But they, like the boyfriend in this story, get away scott-free.
__________
It's not just non-Western cultures that subscribe to the Madonna-Whore complex. If the man can seduce her she is damaged goods, a slut, who would want such an easy piece of meat, but the woman he wants to marry will have resisted all men and saved herself for marriage. And that to me, is at the root of the systemic, patriarchal trivialisation of victims of male abusers.
Women have a long way to go.
I read this book in February 2020, left it with reading notes, and finally, over three years later my thoughts have coalesced into a review. Sometimes it takes a while....
This victim-blaming takes the form of the police, judiciary and defence lawyers suggesting that the victims brought it on themselves, just as they did with rape (remember the days of 'she was 'out alone at 10 pm and wearing a short skirt') by asking if they posted revealing photos online, or if they shared personal information that could have led the abuser to them and failed to protect themselves.
This creates the impression that the victim provoked the abuser. It ignores the fact that abusers are responsible for their own behaviour and that victims have the right to express themselves and use their phones etc without fear of harassment and abuse. It, like rape, like having to wear modest dress, or burkhas, that men can't help themselves and if they do wrong it is women's fault for provoking them. This is also really unfair by lumping all men together as having wicked impulses that women are responsible for controlling.
The author says that in the US, defence attorneys use such tactics as discrediting their character, using gender stereotypes and trivializing the harm they experience and may even use their sexual history to pour scorn on the victim.
The change in the attitude to rape was a long time in coming, and sometimes hasn't come at all. Remember Stanford University rape case. Brock Turner was given a six months sentence (out in 3 with good behaviour) as the judge said, "A prison sentence would have a severe impact on him. I think he will not be a danger to others.” Turner's father said that his son's life had been ruined for 20 minutes of action fueled by alcohol and promiscuity. No one cared about the girl. There was public outrage but my point is the trivialisation of the victim's complaint by the police, lawyer, judiciary, perpetrator and his father, all men. It's a lot like that, says the author for a woman complaining of cyber-stalking.
My own experience I was stalked back in 2008. I had a fairly popular blog and had a lot of trolls who went to extraordinary lengths to slag me off. I was supposedly a paedophile in prison in San Francisco to some, to others a whore on an island (the wrong one) in the Caribbean, and to many others, including at least one person who is also on Goodreads (a good Christian army wife who likes baking, but blocked and continually trolled me for being a Jew and married to a Black man).
After all this harassment which the owners of the blogging site offered sympathy but not much action, a man I thought was a friend who knew me only as 'Petra' but that I had a bookshop and he knew my island, turned up. He merely asked Immigration for the red-headed English lady who had a bookshop. They told him my name and where to find me. Thence began two days of hell before the police deported him.
The family I married into are in politics but if they hadn't been I know for sure that I would have been laughed at as they did when my ex-husband chose to assault me time and again. I closed the blog and came to GR and didn't make any friends for about a year, I just wanted peace.
__________
It's a good book, interesting, not very hopeful, but detailing the situation as it is. I think given the way identity politics are going the waters are going to be muddied further which may impact progress for women on trolling and cyber-stalking. I hope I'm being pessimistic.
__________
Reading notes This is the US version of honour killings.
In the book there is the story of this high school girl, a talented dancer who is taking centre stage in a performance that college scouts will be watching. She sends some pics of her breasts to her high school boyfriend which he forwards to several of his friends. One of his friend's girlfriends picks up the phone and sees the pics and distributes them to everyone she can think of in order to maliciously humiliate the poor girl. She and her friends start a Facebook page which is essentially a bullying tactic.
As soon as the girl finds out her boyfriend has distributed the pics to his friends she goes to the high school principal. He calls in the boyfriend and his friends and they are made to remove the pics from their phones. He declines to punish the boys because he doesn't know who was responsible for the distribution of them.
The dance coach tells the girl that by sending the pics she has fallen below the high moral standards the team requires and punishes her by removing her from the team. Thereby totally removing the possibility of being picked for a university scholarship by talent scouts. She is also given five demerit points. The only way to remove the demerit points is to perform five hundred high kicks in front of the entire team. That is like admitting guilt and having to face public humiliation to expiate her 'sins'.
The parents said that their daughter as captain of the dance team had exhibited leadership and high moral values as she stood up for what was right. Did the school want a role model who kept quiet about sexual abuse?
The message, as in certain of the Arab and Hindu societies that punish women for reporting rape, is that we will make your life a misery (if you are allowed to live) if you should report any sex crime a man might commit. You want a life, you stay quiet and put up with what they dish out. This is enforced by men and the women who through brainwashing from infancy suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. Slut-shaming is part of Stockholm Syndrome. Slut shaming is a considered a female offence, but it's also men that slag off the women they have persuaded to sleep with them, even to the girlfriend they are presently sleeping with as well as to their men friends. But they, like the boyfriend in this story, get away scott-free.
__________
It's not just non-Western cultures that subscribe to the Madonna-Whore complex. If the man can seduce her she is damaged goods, a slut, who would want such an easy piece of meat, but the woman he wants to marry will have resisted all men and saved herself for marriage. And that to me, is at the root of the systemic, patriarchal trivialisation of victims of male abusers.
Women have a long way to go.
I read this book in February 2020, left it with reading notes, and finally, over three years later my thoughts have coalesced into a review. Sometimes it takes a while....
February 23, 2020
Before the internet, victims had, in theory, a certain control and power to fight against harassment, but as tech evolves and gets more sophisticated, it seems to be more like an endless arms race, similar to those between white and black hat hackers, with the victims having worse starting conditions.
The tragic stories that are told are just a beginning, the already terrifying level of perversion humans have reached in misusing new technology a dawn, and as we get more and more connected it´s not just our tech that is developing, but the scopes of abnormality too.
Trolls and hate porn are just the first stage of an evolution, deep fake is the next big thing and by adding a few decades, VR, AR, neural implants, growing importance of online reputation,… to the mix, one can imagine what people without the money and tech to protect themselves may have to endure in the future. Virus and malware protection may be useless if it are some humans who turn themselves into producers of malevolent, self-replicating, virulent spreading fake news that destroy and end (social) lives and careers.
Knowing your enemy and „attack is the best defense“ were useful tools in ages without social media and limited possibilities for the attackers, but nowadays one of the main motivations for mentally ill, perverted, evil people, and hate filled trolls is to keep on doing their sick thing and they will invest massive amounts of time in educating themselves in becoming so good in avoiding prosecution and getting tracked down that an average victim will be chanceless against a professional hater and cyberstalker. It doesn´t help that law and state are so slow and incompetent in dealing with those topics that they are no help, not to speak of the social media companies.
It´s especially obvious if one compares the real life consequences of human interactions involving stalking, mobbing, insult, duress, sexual harassment, and psycho terror that can lead to severe consequences for the perpetrators until prison, while the same crimes committed online fall under a kind of „Wild West, still no laws available here, we are too conservative, incompetent, and lazy to do something“ mentality by legislators. With conventional phone calls, emails, and letters it wouldn´t be possible or legal to do such awful things, but with social media and the internet, there are no real problems and obstacles for trolls and haters anywhere visible on the horizon of the near future.
I have the feeling that there is much more talk about anecdotes, personal tragedies, hate against the ones who dare to fight against the problem of male sexual violence, much public and media aversions against MeToo, emancipation, victims´law,… all signs that we are not close as highly developed and sophisticated as a society as we wished and dreamed to be. These are system intrinsic problems created by sexism, manifesting themselves in underaged girls/boys that go through horrible traumas many women/men couldn´t withstand and are afterward online victim-blamed and death threatened while the law enforcement is having no means to help her/him.
Another personal opinion is that I wouldn´t call psychopaths and sociopaths sick in the way that they need help or suffer like people who have mental problems that destroy their lives. It´s more that their psychological abnormalities are what enables them to enjoy the suffering of their victims until it becomes the only possibility for them to find satisfaction, that some of them are born this way without any abuse to rich, loving parents, and that our whole jurisdiction is still focused on protecting things over living beings so that they don´t have to fear real, appropriate, and hard punishment.
Western societies imagine themselves so modern, civilized, emancipated, progressive, and pro victim protection that they are totally blind to the still omnipresent and currently totally escalating problems with psycho terror and sexually motivated crimes and instead of quickly modernizing the laws they do, as always, nothing and wait for the next government to deal with this uncomfortable topics, especially because many of their conservative and fundamentalist voters don´t want to hear a word about those topics.
Goldbergs´work is amazing, as the successes of all people working to help others, but how depressing, heartbreaking, and also dangerous it must be to do this job is impressive and few people may have the guts and perseverance to do it without getting destroyed themselves.
I see one of the worst and unrecognizable stealth dangers in toxic friends and haters that are disguised as friends, followers, and likers and are working on long-time plans to harm other people. While offensive evil persons are easy to identify (as dangers, not IP addresses), it´s close to impossible in cases of vipers that have, for a personal reason or because of mental health problems, the goal to destroy the victim.
Above all the book shows how the male tendency to violence and revenge has entered a new stage, where they can act out their misogyny, because they are unable to deal with rejection and breakup in mature ways of self- reflection and criticism and searching the reasons in their behaviors, flaws, and errors.
I am a bit paranoid regarding my online security and privacy (very complex, often changing 16 to 20 digit passwords, less personal information, etc.) and that may be one of the only options to protect against outer dangers, including not sharing too much personal information and the well-known tips by security experts, but there is still the problem of trusting other people, especially loved ones and partners. An impossible to solve problem, as love can turn to hate and nobody can protect her/himself by preventive mistrusting everyone, sharing no pictures or too intimate information, and being cold and aloof to stay protected. Even if one does so, it will be soon possible to produce any kind of compromising video content with deep fake, something big and scary because it will get more and more difficult to impossible to distinguish real from faked revenge porn.
One of the most insidious long term tactics may be the combination of hacking, identity theft, social engineering, and fake posts, profiles, messages, and pictures. A profile or account can get secretly compromised and controlled pretty easily if the attacker really wants to, because each WLAN, device, many passwords, have weaknesses and someone having the skills, just waiting for it, and even following the victim in real life to hack her/him will succeed. If it´s done professionally, the person won´t even realize that there is any problem, just wondering why people are suddenly so reserved and reduce contact.
These tactics are used in authoritarian governments too to isolate and stigmatize the opposition without them even recognizing. The victim won´t ever notice that something is going on, as the activities will be invisible or just at times when the person isn´t online. Faked messages to friends and families from the account the person doesn´t know about, faked messages back from everyone the person knows and reactions to the unfriendly faked messages that isolate the victim,… destroy any kind of relationship and friendship. In the case of work, this could lead to dismissal and loss of reputation because hardly any company will invest in a cyber forensic scientist to check if there are any professional manipulations.
Faking IDs at dating portals can go two ways: Fake accounts of the victim that bring many problems in real life, if working place, home, places of social activities, hobbies, are included for meetings. More sinister is to invest month or even years to simulate the perfect partner, possibly even paying someone to play the role in real meetings, get more sensible data this way and use it for a devastating attack, possibly combining it with the described social engineering tactics to destroy friend, family, and simulated love relations at the same time.
Because the sick methods of and tips for and by the seduction community and pick up artists are already widely available online, tutorials for destroying other peoples´ lives by using these tactics are certainly already available at one of the darker places of the internet or deep/dark web. I guess they have a comment section, Reddit group, rating system,… too.
One of the best approaches comes from specialized cybersecurity and cyber forensic companies that use AI and self- learning algorithms that are permanently scanning the internet, search and browse results and social media sites for possible violations of victims´ privacy and block each attempt immediately by deleting content at the moment it´s posted and track attacks to collect data for law enforcement. It´s an evidence of incapacity of the state that relatively small companies are able to do this and protect people from criminals, something that should normally be done by the police.
The role the authorities could play in a, not only sarcastic, future setting is the one of protecting the privacy of the perpetrators, fighting for their online privacy and freedom of speech, and being rigorous in executing offender protection, as they already have immense experience in this regard.
A wiki walk can be as refreshing to the mind as a walk through nature in this completely overrated real life outside books:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interne...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revenge...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut-sh...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberst...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickup_...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deepfake
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Identit...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesti...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_crime
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Categor...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Categor...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychol...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychol...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Media_m...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propaga...
The tragic stories that are told are just a beginning, the already terrifying level of perversion humans have reached in misusing new technology a dawn, and as we get more and more connected it´s not just our tech that is developing, but the scopes of abnormality too.
Trolls and hate porn are just the first stage of an evolution, deep fake is the next big thing and by adding a few decades, VR, AR, neural implants, growing importance of online reputation,… to the mix, one can imagine what people without the money and tech to protect themselves may have to endure in the future. Virus and malware protection may be useless if it are some humans who turn themselves into producers of malevolent, self-replicating, virulent spreading fake news that destroy and end (social) lives and careers.
Knowing your enemy and „attack is the best defense“ were useful tools in ages without social media and limited possibilities for the attackers, but nowadays one of the main motivations for mentally ill, perverted, evil people, and hate filled trolls is to keep on doing their sick thing and they will invest massive amounts of time in educating themselves in becoming so good in avoiding prosecution and getting tracked down that an average victim will be chanceless against a professional hater and cyberstalker. It doesn´t help that law and state are so slow and incompetent in dealing with those topics that they are no help, not to speak of the social media companies.
It´s especially obvious if one compares the real life consequences of human interactions involving stalking, mobbing, insult, duress, sexual harassment, and psycho terror that can lead to severe consequences for the perpetrators until prison, while the same crimes committed online fall under a kind of „Wild West, still no laws available here, we are too conservative, incompetent, and lazy to do something“ mentality by legislators. With conventional phone calls, emails, and letters it wouldn´t be possible or legal to do such awful things, but with social media and the internet, there are no real problems and obstacles for trolls and haters anywhere visible on the horizon of the near future.
I have the feeling that there is much more talk about anecdotes, personal tragedies, hate against the ones who dare to fight against the problem of male sexual violence, much public and media aversions against MeToo, emancipation, victims´law,… all signs that we are not close as highly developed and sophisticated as a society as we wished and dreamed to be. These are system intrinsic problems created by sexism, manifesting themselves in underaged girls/boys that go through horrible traumas many women/men couldn´t withstand and are afterward online victim-blamed and death threatened while the law enforcement is having no means to help her/him.
Another personal opinion is that I wouldn´t call psychopaths and sociopaths sick in the way that they need help or suffer like people who have mental problems that destroy their lives. It´s more that their psychological abnormalities are what enables them to enjoy the suffering of their victims until it becomes the only possibility for them to find satisfaction, that some of them are born this way without any abuse to rich, loving parents, and that our whole jurisdiction is still focused on protecting things over living beings so that they don´t have to fear real, appropriate, and hard punishment.
Western societies imagine themselves so modern, civilized, emancipated, progressive, and pro victim protection that they are totally blind to the still omnipresent and currently totally escalating problems with psycho terror and sexually motivated crimes and instead of quickly modernizing the laws they do, as always, nothing and wait for the next government to deal with this uncomfortable topics, especially because many of their conservative and fundamentalist voters don´t want to hear a word about those topics.
Goldbergs´work is amazing, as the successes of all people working to help others, but how depressing, heartbreaking, and also dangerous it must be to do this job is impressive and few people may have the guts and perseverance to do it without getting destroyed themselves.
I see one of the worst and unrecognizable stealth dangers in toxic friends and haters that are disguised as friends, followers, and likers and are working on long-time plans to harm other people. While offensive evil persons are easy to identify (as dangers, not IP addresses), it´s close to impossible in cases of vipers that have, for a personal reason or because of mental health problems, the goal to destroy the victim.
Above all the book shows how the male tendency to violence and revenge has entered a new stage, where they can act out their misogyny, because they are unable to deal with rejection and breakup in mature ways of self- reflection and criticism and searching the reasons in their behaviors, flaws, and errors.
I am a bit paranoid regarding my online security and privacy (very complex, often changing 16 to 20 digit passwords, less personal information, etc.) and that may be one of the only options to protect against outer dangers, including not sharing too much personal information and the well-known tips by security experts, but there is still the problem of trusting other people, especially loved ones and partners. An impossible to solve problem, as love can turn to hate and nobody can protect her/himself by preventive mistrusting everyone, sharing no pictures or too intimate information, and being cold and aloof to stay protected. Even if one does so, it will be soon possible to produce any kind of compromising video content with deep fake, something big and scary because it will get more and more difficult to impossible to distinguish real from faked revenge porn.
One of the most insidious long term tactics may be the combination of hacking, identity theft, social engineering, and fake posts, profiles, messages, and pictures. A profile or account can get secretly compromised and controlled pretty easily if the attacker really wants to, because each WLAN, device, many passwords, have weaknesses and someone having the skills, just waiting for it, and even following the victim in real life to hack her/him will succeed. If it´s done professionally, the person won´t even realize that there is any problem, just wondering why people are suddenly so reserved and reduce contact.
These tactics are used in authoritarian governments too to isolate and stigmatize the opposition without them even recognizing. The victim won´t ever notice that something is going on, as the activities will be invisible or just at times when the person isn´t online. Faked messages to friends and families from the account the person doesn´t know about, faked messages back from everyone the person knows and reactions to the unfriendly faked messages that isolate the victim,… destroy any kind of relationship and friendship. In the case of work, this could lead to dismissal and loss of reputation because hardly any company will invest in a cyber forensic scientist to check if there are any professional manipulations.
Faking IDs at dating portals can go two ways: Fake accounts of the victim that bring many problems in real life, if working place, home, places of social activities, hobbies, are included for meetings. More sinister is to invest month or even years to simulate the perfect partner, possibly even paying someone to play the role in real meetings, get more sensible data this way and use it for a devastating attack, possibly combining it with the described social engineering tactics to destroy friend, family, and simulated love relations at the same time.
Because the sick methods of and tips for and by the seduction community and pick up artists are already widely available online, tutorials for destroying other peoples´ lives by using these tactics are certainly already available at one of the darker places of the internet or deep/dark web. I guess they have a comment section, Reddit group, rating system,… too.
One of the best approaches comes from specialized cybersecurity and cyber forensic companies that use AI and self- learning algorithms that are permanently scanning the internet, search and browse results and social media sites for possible violations of victims´ privacy and block each attempt immediately by deleting content at the moment it´s posted and track attacks to collect data for law enforcement. It´s an evidence of incapacity of the state that relatively small companies are able to do this and protect people from criminals, something that should normally be done by the police.
The role the authorities could play in a, not only sarcastic, future setting is the one of protecting the privacy of the perpetrators, fighting for their online privacy and freedom of speech, and being rigorous in executing offender protection, as they already have immense experience in this regard.
A wiki walk can be as refreshing to the mind as a walk through nature in this completely overrated real life outside books:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interne...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revenge...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut-sh...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberst...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickup_...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deepfake
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Identit...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesti...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_crime
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Categor...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Categor...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychol...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychol...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Media_m...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propaga...
August 25, 2019
I consider this required reading for everyone. EVERYONE.
As "Nobody's Victim" shows, justice for victims of abuse in the online era has been agonizingly slow. Platforms, law enforcement, and law makers have failed to protect those who are at risk. I was shocked by just how little was being done against a form of abuse that is psychologically and sometimes physically devastating. Indeed Carrie Goldberg is one of the first to fight back in court, having established her law firm that specializes in sexual privacy violations in 2015.
This book is so necessary because it goes into both the history and mechanisms of online abuse. She covers the laws that enable the internet to go unguarded, as well as major events such as Gamergate and Tarana Burke's MeToo movement. I felt well informed by this book, felt it was broad and intersectional, and finished feeling like I fully understood how we got here in the first place.
Carrie Goldberg's story is personal and emotional as well. The stories of the survivors of she represents, as well as her own personal stories, make you feel and understand real impact abuse has on those that have suffered it.
I took one small issue with the book and that was her use of the word "psycho" to describe some of the perpetrators. Though some of these men are likely psychopathic, mental illness language could perhaps better be replaced with a word like "predator."
Nevertheless, Carrie Goldberg's book is a call to arms and a story of hope. Her accomplishments in court are inspiring, and her final words to survivors of abuse at the end of the book offer a path to peace and redemption. I believe she will help pave a path for those who previously felt powerless or lost.
It is necessary for everyone, including those who have never encountered abuse, to read and understand what is going on.
Read it!
As "Nobody's Victim" shows, justice for victims of abuse in the online era has been agonizingly slow. Platforms, law enforcement, and law makers have failed to protect those who are at risk. I was shocked by just how little was being done against a form of abuse that is psychologically and sometimes physically devastating. Indeed Carrie Goldberg is one of the first to fight back in court, having established her law firm that specializes in sexual privacy violations in 2015.
This book is so necessary because it goes into both the history and mechanisms of online abuse. She covers the laws that enable the internet to go unguarded, as well as major events such as Gamergate and Tarana Burke's MeToo movement. I felt well informed by this book, felt it was broad and intersectional, and finished feeling like I fully understood how we got here in the first place.
Carrie Goldberg's story is personal and emotional as well. The stories of the survivors of she represents, as well as her own personal stories, make you feel and understand real impact abuse has on those that have suffered it.
I took one small issue with the book and that was her use of the word "psycho" to describe some of the perpetrators. Though some of these men are likely psychopathic, mental illness language could perhaps better be replaced with a word like "predator."
Nevertheless, Carrie Goldberg's book is a call to arms and a story of hope. Her accomplishments in court are inspiring, and her final words to survivors of abuse at the end of the book offer a path to peace and redemption. I believe she will help pave a path for those who previously felt powerless or lost.
It is necessary for everyone, including those who have never encountered abuse, to read and understand what is going on.
Read it!
January 26, 2020
In the internet age, victimizing people has evolved to a complicated, sometimes confusing, level. This is why the world needs as many Carrie Goldbergs as it can get. Goldberg is a victims’ rights lawyer in New York City specializing in sexual-privacy violations. In Nobody’s Victim, she argues for a massive change in internet laws so, among other malicious behaviors, cyber-stalking and harassment, posting of “revenge porn,” and cyber-blackmail, can be punished swiftly and strictly.
Anyone who’s had the slightest taste of these horrors knows the internet is the Wild West. Cyber law is developing at a snail’s pace; meanwhile, countless people--from young teens on up--are having their lives destroyed in hideous ways and are unable to live peacefully. Some fear for their lives. Some have ended theirs.
The lawsuits Goldberg handles are incredible--truly; I had to keep reminding myself that these actually happened and still are happening. Although in almost all these cases Goldberg was successful in prosecuting perpetrators, the hurdles she encountered were nearly insurmountable. The internet is not only a free-for-all for any bad actor, but these bad actors are protected because the sites they operate on are protected. As Goldberg explains at length in the chapter about her lawsuit against Grindr, sites aren’t legally obligated to protect victimized users. Revenge-porn sites aren’t legally obligated to remove revenge porn. This explains why the vast majority of the time, Twitter, Facebook, or any huge web entity ignores complaints and pleas for help. Goldberg’s case against Grindr is one of the few in the book that she didn’t win.
Nobody’s Victim is riveting for its outrageous true-crime cases--each chapter is a separate one--and I liked how Goldberg (with help from ghostwriter Jeannine Amber) used each to highlight a different inadequacy in nascent internet law. It was a relief to read about justice served in many of these cases. This hints that effective internet laws are on the way. But barely anyone in a developed country doesn’t use the internet. With the internet’s stranglehold on modern life, the fact that extensive and detailed laws weren’t set years ago is sheer stupidity.
Complementary viewing: 2018 documentary "Netizens".
Anyone who’s had the slightest taste of these horrors knows the internet is the Wild West. Cyber law is developing at a snail’s pace; meanwhile, countless people--from young teens on up--are having their lives destroyed in hideous ways and are unable to live peacefully. Some fear for their lives. Some have ended theirs.
The lawsuits Goldberg handles are incredible--truly; I had to keep reminding myself that these actually happened and still are happening. Although in almost all these cases Goldberg was successful in prosecuting perpetrators, the hurdles she encountered were nearly insurmountable. The internet is not only a free-for-all for any bad actor, but these bad actors are protected because the sites they operate on are protected. As Goldberg explains at length in the chapter about her lawsuit against Grindr, sites aren’t legally obligated to protect victimized users. Revenge-porn sites aren’t legally obligated to remove revenge porn. This explains why the vast majority of the time, Twitter, Facebook, or any huge web entity ignores complaints and pleas for help. Goldberg’s case against Grindr is one of the few in the book that she didn’t win.
Nobody’s Victim is riveting for its outrageous true-crime cases--each chapter is a separate one--and I liked how Goldberg (with help from ghostwriter Jeannine Amber) used each to highlight a different inadequacy in nascent internet law. It was a relief to read about justice served in many of these cases. This hints that effective internet laws are on the way. But barely anyone in a developed country doesn’t use the internet. With the internet’s stranglehold on modern life, the fact that extensive and detailed laws weren’t set years ago is sheer stupidity.
Complementary viewing: 2018 documentary "Netizens".
January 16, 2020
I really want to give this book five stars, but the persistent use of "psycho" and crazy" to describe terrible, violent men was a little hard to overlook as someone who is trying to work on improving my language so as not to further stigmatize the mentally ill. The book is a vitally important one, though, as Goldberg writes clearly and passionately about the current legal landscape that sets up women to be victimized and revictimized by cyberstalkers, trolls, and plain old jerks. The resource list in the back should prove invaluable to anyone who is experiencing these kinds of problems, too.
October 21, 2019
Powerful read—Carrie Goldberg is fighting the good fight.
Having had to overcome her own stalkers/aggressive men in the past, she is helping other women take back their lives and fight for their rights.
Having had to overcome her own stalkers/aggressive men in the past, she is helping other women take back their lives and fight for their rights.
February 22, 2020
A book written about an extremely important subject that's, most unfortunately, written in such a way that it's borderline unreadable.
I refer to, specifically, Goldberg's use of the words, "psycho," "perv," and "asshole," among other terms. I know, I know. These words are in the title. But I didn't expect them to permeate the entire book. I don't disagree with her assessment of the people she applies these terms to. However, I do think calling someone these names is flippant, reductive, and strips the perpetrators of their agency when they need to be held accountable for it.
I'm also uncomfortable with name-calling in general, and for a book that spends so much time bemoaning the effects of personal attacks...it makes a lot of personal attacks.
In sum: the tone was all wrong. I admire Carrie Goldberg and her work. I wonder who decided the book needed to be written this way. Her passion would've come through even without the ridiculous terminology.
I refer to, specifically, Goldberg's use of the words, "psycho," "perv," and "asshole," among other terms. I know, I know. These words are in the title. But I didn't expect them to permeate the entire book. I don't disagree with her assessment of the people she applies these terms to. However, I do think calling someone these names is flippant, reductive, and strips the perpetrators of their agency when they need to be held accountable for it.
I'm also uncomfortable with name-calling in general, and for a book that spends so much time bemoaning the effects of personal attacks...it makes a lot of personal attacks.
In sum: the tone was all wrong. I admire Carrie Goldberg and her work. I wonder who decided the book needed to be written this way. Her passion would've come through even without the ridiculous terminology.
September 4, 2022
I REALLY wanted to like this half-memoir, half-attempt-to-be-educational non-fiction. In fact, the author started out really strong. And she seems like a badass. But nowhere in this is any guidance about how individuals, family members, employers, and/or supporters can do anything to change individual bad behavior or law/policy except to have money and hire her or someone like her to represent them, and then steel oneself for being gaslit and continually victimized until maybe, one day, one might come away with a settlement. I wish she spent less time praising herself and her practice, and more time on what consent means (for any teen or young readers), what to do if someone is victimized (in specific, not just “file a police report, get a lawyer”) and how those in positions to do so (clinicians, lawyers, employers, the police and govt) can work together to make change.
May 14, 2019
If you have ever been the victim of revenge porn, sexual harassment, sextortion, sexual assault, have a friend or family member who has been victim of these crimes, use dating sites, dating apps, have ever made comments anywhere online, you should read this book. Please be aware that reading this book may be triggering for survivors of these crimes. Carrie Goldberg is an attorney who specializes on fighting for victims of these crimes. As a survivor, she speaks about individual’s stories and current topics with compassion and fight. At the end, Carrie includes an extensive list of resources. I want to purchase this book and leave copies around in public for people to read. This is a topic everyone should be educated further on and this book is an excellent resource. Thank you to Plume and Edelweiss for the advance readers copy in exchange for an honest review.
September 20, 2020
Absolutely incredible. Don't let the libfem title with the ~Girl Power~ pink on the cover fool you. This is Real Shit. I read about Carrie Goldberg years ago in a New York Times piece about her work fighting revenge porn. Her expertise and life's work expands far beyond video sex crimes, although that alone is a huge beast to tackle.
Goldberg went to law school while working full-time as a caseworker for Holocaust survivors in NYC when she was in her 20s. This book isn't only about her, but the pieces about herself she chose to include helped shed light on her motives to do this work. As she wrote about her own stalker ex and the stalker exes of her clients whose lives were in real danger before she interfered (police rarely did anything, predictably), it reminded me of the people in my past and how dangerous things could have been for me. I had a woman vandalize my car after turning her down for sex. I faced harassment from other women who felt they were entitled to my time and body. The red flags Goldberg describes in her clients' past relationships mirror my experiences with these women almost exactly. Most of Goldberg's clients are women fighting one or more men hellbent on making them suffer in some way, but she writes at length about a groundbreaking case against Grindr where she defended a client whose ex made fake profiles of him and sent thousands of men to his apartment and job.
The final chapters put into context how the porn industry has developed over the past few decades and how often copyright law is weaponized against women seeking an end to their harassment. Goldberg's work has already had a monumental influence on policies meant to protect us from cyberstalking and internet harassment, crimes that are only becoming more methodical and perverse with each passing day. Carrie Goldberg knows how dangerous and depraved men can become when women try to speak up and fight back, yet she chose to share her story and continues to fight for us every day. It's a comfort to know there are women out there like her who are doing this work and are succeeding. Maybe there is hope for women after all.
Goldberg went to law school while working full-time as a caseworker for Holocaust survivors in NYC when she was in her 20s. This book isn't only about her, but the pieces about herself she chose to include helped shed light on her motives to do this work. As she wrote about her own stalker ex and the stalker exes of her clients whose lives were in real danger before she interfered (police rarely did anything, predictably), it reminded me of the people in my past and how dangerous things could have been for me. I had a woman vandalize my car after turning her down for sex. I faced harassment from other women who felt they were entitled to my time and body. The red flags Goldberg describes in her clients' past relationships mirror my experiences with these women almost exactly. Most of Goldberg's clients are women fighting one or more men hellbent on making them suffer in some way, but she writes at length about a groundbreaking case against Grindr where she defended a client whose ex made fake profiles of him and sent thousands of men to his apartment and job.
The final chapters put into context how the porn industry has developed over the past few decades and how often copyright law is weaponized against women seeking an end to their harassment. Goldberg's work has already had a monumental influence on policies meant to protect us from cyberstalking and internet harassment, crimes that are only becoming more methodical and perverse with each passing day. Carrie Goldberg knows how dangerous and depraved men can become when women try to speak up and fight back, yet she chose to share her story and continues to fight for us every day. It's a comfort to know there are women out there like her who are doing this work and are succeeding. Maybe there is hope for women after all.
November 11, 2019
Wow. Nobody's Victim is part memoir, part exploration victim protection in the internet age, and part call to arms.
Seriously. there are few things more badass than the lines Goldberg opens her cease and desist letters with. "I represent [my client]. I'll be taking over negotiations from here. Negotiations just ended."
It is a difficult book to read. There are predators of every type - pedophiles, white supremacists, rapists. But there is an undercurrent of strength, of fighting for what's right and not giving up.
If you want an inside look at how sexual abuse is fought in court and the major impact of the internet on how predators function, this book is a must read.
After all, Goldberg is right: "We can battle with the system or fight to change the system... We are an army of warriors. The fight has just begun."
Seriously. there are few things more badass than the lines Goldberg opens her cease and desist letters with. "I represent [my client]. I'll be taking over negotiations from here. Negotiations just ended."
It is a difficult book to read. There are predators of every type - pedophiles, white supremacists, rapists. But there is an undercurrent of strength, of fighting for what's right and not giving up.
If you want an inside look at how sexual abuse is fought in court and the major impact of the internet on how predators function, this book is a must read.
After all, Goldberg is right: "We can battle with the system or fight to change the system... We are an army of warriors. The fight has just begun."
March 18, 2021
Lai gan grāmata lielā mērā turas uz principa "kas sunim asti cels...", tomēr autore aktualizē ļoti būtiskas problēmas, par ko mūsdienās joprojām runājam diezgan maz - revenge porn, mobings un trollings internetā, vajāšana, mūsu sensitīvo datu nopludināšana pret mūsu gribu utt.
Šķiet, sabiedrība pagaidām izvēlas aizvērt acis un domāt, ka kailfoto nelikumīga publicēšana un pārsūtīšana ir tikai kaut kādu Holivudas aktieru un neapdomīgu tīņu problēma. Skolas tādos gadījumos nereti izvēlas izslēgt no sabiedrības upuri, nevis stāties pretī varmākai. Kuru sabiedrība nosodīs vairāk, ja jaunas meitenes kailfoto būs redzējusi visa skola? To kretīnu, kas par to parūpējās, vai arī meiteni? Baidos, ka joprojām tas būs otrais variants.
Tāpēc, lai arī man nebija īpaši patīkams autores rakstības stils un pašslavināšanās, esmu pateicīga par problēmas celšanu gaismā un to vērtīgo darbu, ko viņa dara, aizstāvot upurus.
Šķiet, sabiedrība pagaidām izvēlas aizvērt acis un domāt, ka kailfoto nelikumīga publicēšana un pārsūtīšana ir tikai kaut kādu Holivudas aktieru un neapdomīgu tīņu problēma. Skolas tādos gadījumos nereti izvēlas izslēgt no sabiedrības upuri, nevis stāties pretī varmākai. Kuru sabiedrība nosodīs vairāk, ja jaunas meitenes kailfoto būs redzējusi visa skola? To kretīnu, kas par to parūpējās, vai arī meiteni? Baidos, ka joprojām tas būs otrais variants.
Tāpēc, lai arī man nebija īpaši patīkams autores rakstības stils un pašslavināšanās, esmu pateicīga par problēmas celšanu gaismā un to vērtīgo darbu, ko viņa dara, aizstāvot upurus.
December 13, 2019
This book has a lot of interesting, and often heart-breaking, stories. The teenage girls raped by classmates and then slut-shamed and punished by their schools. The man tormented by fake profiles being made in his name on Grindr, and Grinder refused to do anything about it. Carrie's own stories of trauma and abuse were vivid and wrenching. She is a Jewish woman who was raped and had a swatiska burned into her. The accounts of abuse in this book are horrifying. Reading these stories taught me a lot more about power and the abuse of it, about trauma and the effects of it, and how abuse and trauma play out in the digital space. Sextortion was one cyber-crime I'd never heard of, and reading about how children are manipulated by sick individuals into performing humilating sexual acts...I just can't...it was a lot.
I think Carrie Goldberg is amazing for the work that she does for victims like the ones in this book. May she continue to do what she is passionate about for many years to come.
Now, for my criticisms of the book. Often modern feminism falls into casual misandry. That was a huge problem in this book. She muses that although there are good men, so many stories of powerful men abusing their power keep coming out, there MUST be something fundamentally wrong with men, something in them that is innately predatory, and all it takes is enough power for a man to become an abuser.
This is a horrible way to view men. I hope it needs not be explained WHY this is horrible.
Not only is the book misandrist, it's just boringly repetitive in its misandry.
On page 7: "What makes them so terrifying is that many of these unhinged men-and they are almost always men-are compelled by the same impulses that trigger other offenders to drive cars into groups of protestors and fire assault rifles into churches, synagogues, and schools."
Then three pages later, on page 10: "Typically a guy (and it's almost always a guy) feels bad (as in jealous or humiliated), but instead of handling his emotions like a normal adult, he goes full asshole.."
See what I mean? The sentence structure is the same and everything, and she does this many times throughout the book.
I'd prefer if feminism took a systemic approach to fighting oppression, rather than painting MEN-the collective hivemind, I guess-as the enemy.
There's also just a lot of stuff that isn't backed up by anything, so I just don't believe her. I don't think she's lying. But I think her worldview is one that seeks out oppression and finds victimhood where there is none. She believes what she is saying is true, but it probably isn't. Like when she says that she hates being asked what she does for self-care, because her male colleagues never get this question. How does she know that? Did she ask them? Is she constantly around them? The way she just says this and expects us to believe her without any further details, it just gives me victimhood feminist vibes. I feel like she's the type to run around crying that women's pants don't have pockets, even though....yes, yes they do. Target and Kohls are full of female pants with pockets. A lot of her little quips gave me the same kind of "whiny modern feminist ignoring reality for victimhood points" vibes.
Then there's the "Hey, fellow kids" vibe of this book. Just...holy shit, the way this lady uses slang like she's some hip young person about to Reach Deeez kids!-but then goes on to explain the slang, liek she's speaking some foreign language or something. My GOD. The cringe.
Here are a few examples:
On page 174, in a section about porn, she actually explains what a facial is.
????????????????
Even if you've never heard the term "facial" in a sexual connotation, if you are a human adult and not an alien from the outer reaches of space, then I feel like you can figure it out from context.
She explains the term "Dox" on page 180.
She tells readers to POS means 'Piece of Shit'-what decade did this woman come from? Who doesn't know that? Who was her target market?
I also felt like this book, while it delves into deep and important issues in a very detailed work and therefore is a meaningful piece of feminist literature, it didn't add anything new to feminist ideology. Slut-shaming is wrong. Rape is wrong. Stalking is wrong. Online harassment is wrong.
All feminists already agree on that. This doesn't challenge or add to the feminist ideology, and because of that, I think marketing it as a feminist work makes little sense. She can be an attorney representing victims of cybercrime without making it a feminist thing. She has plenty of stories of male victims in the book too (and yay her! I liked that male victims were included), but this proves that this isn't soley a woman's issue.
The book also represents Men's Rights Activists and Incels in a disingenious way. I have spent a fair bit of time in these manosphere communities as part of research for my own writing projects. MRAs are fighting for important issues that affect men that feminists do not care about. Incels are (largely from I have seen) mysoginistic. There are isolated communities of incels that are pretty chill (like incelistan.net and r/incelswithouthate) but I'll give this one to Goldberg, they are misogynists. BUT only 4 mass shooters have come out of incel communities. The Columbine fangirl communities have produced more (attempted and caught) mass shooters than that. It isn't fair to blame an entire community for Elliot Rogers and Alek Minnassian, when such a small number of incels have gone on to do harm. I think it'd be more telling to look at the suicide rate for that community. And at the very least hold deviant female-majority online communities to the same standards. I'm waiting for somebody to do a deep dive on those Columbine fangirls. They on Tumblr right now incubating their next mass shooter. But they're female, so you know, women am I right? What are they gonna do /s
Lastly, the book just has a very r/thathappened vibe. I really felt like a lot of anecdotes should have ended with "and then everybody clapped." Maybe they originally did and her editor cut it out.
She really likes to brag about wearing heels like it's an accomplishment. And at the end of the book when she tries to paint this emotional call-to-action she talks about her "army of warriors" clacking down the road in heels.
Are you against gender coding or not? Women have to wear uncomfortable and frankly, unhealthy, footwear to be taken seriously professionally? And she lets us know that her senior clients would "give her hell" if she didn't wear her heels. I feel like..no...no they didn't give a shit. But also if she's a strong feminist, why isn't she making her own decisions about her footwear? The whole thing with her bragging about high heels was weird, and coupled with the cringey author's photo, I get the sense she's trying to sexualize herself, which is odd considering the serious content of the book.
Also, "Army of Warriors" I found myself both bewildered and annoyed everytime this phrase was used. It's so painfully redundant.
What the hell else would an army be made of?
I wish that detailed description of Nazi Dr.Mengels' work would have had a bit more of a lead-in. If you're going to vividly depict the torture and gruesome deaths of children, I think there should be more of a drawn-out foreshadowing leading up to it. Yes, I knew the chapter was about her work with holocaust survivors, but I felt like that part came out of nowhere and I would have opted to skip it if I'd known she was going to get THAT dark.
All in all, Carrie Goldberg does important work. I admire what she does for victims and cyber-law.
She shouldn't write anymore books. She needs a ghostwriter who is less of an obnoxious man-bashing feminist. I'm not saying ALL feminists are obnoxious and man-bashing, I am saying that this particular feminist is obnoxious and man-bashing.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk XD
I think Carrie Goldberg is amazing for the work that she does for victims like the ones in this book. May she continue to do what she is passionate about for many years to come.
Now, for my criticisms of the book. Often modern feminism falls into casual misandry. That was a huge problem in this book. She muses that although there are good men, so many stories of powerful men abusing their power keep coming out, there MUST be something fundamentally wrong with men, something in them that is innately predatory, and all it takes is enough power for a man to become an abuser.
This is a horrible way to view men. I hope it needs not be explained WHY this is horrible.
Not only is the book misandrist, it's just boringly repetitive in its misandry.
On page 7: "What makes them so terrifying is that many of these unhinged men-and they are almost always men-are compelled by the same impulses that trigger other offenders to drive cars into groups of protestors and fire assault rifles into churches, synagogues, and schools."
Then three pages later, on page 10: "Typically a guy (and it's almost always a guy) feels bad (as in jealous or humiliated), but instead of handling his emotions like a normal adult, he goes full asshole.."
See what I mean? The sentence structure is the same and everything, and she does this many times throughout the book.
I'd prefer if feminism took a systemic approach to fighting oppression, rather than painting MEN-the collective hivemind, I guess-as the enemy.
There's also just a lot of stuff that isn't backed up by anything, so I just don't believe her. I don't think she's lying. But I think her worldview is one that seeks out oppression and finds victimhood where there is none. She believes what she is saying is true, but it probably isn't. Like when she says that she hates being asked what she does for self-care, because her male colleagues never get this question. How does she know that? Did she ask them? Is she constantly around them? The way she just says this and expects us to believe her without any further details, it just gives me victimhood feminist vibes. I feel like she's the type to run around crying that women's pants don't have pockets, even though....yes, yes they do. Target and Kohls are full of female pants with pockets. A lot of her little quips gave me the same kind of "whiny modern feminist ignoring reality for victimhood points" vibes.
Then there's the "Hey, fellow kids" vibe of this book. Just...holy shit, the way this lady uses slang like she's some hip young person about to Reach Deeez kids!-but then goes on to explain the slang, liek she's speaking some foreign language or something. My GOD. The cringe.
Here are a few examples:
On page 174, in a section about porn, she actually explains what a facial is.
????????????????
Even if you've never heard the term "facial" in a sexual connotation, if you are a human adult and not an alien from the outer reaches of space, then I feel like you can figure it out from context.
She explains the term "Dox" on page 180.
She tells readers to POS means 'Piece of Shit'-what decade did this woman come from? Who doesn't know that? Who was her target market?
I also felt like this book, while it delves into deep and important issues in a very detailed work and therefore is a meaningful piece of feminist literature, it didn't add anything new to feminist ideology. Slut-shaming is wrong. Rape is wrong. Stalking is wrong. Online harassment is wrong.
All feminists already agree on that. This doesn't challenge or add to the feminist ideology, and because of that, I think marketing it as a feminist work makes little sense. She can be an attorney representing victims of cybercrime without making it a feminist thing. She has plenty of stories of male victims in the book too (and yay her! I liked that male victims were included), but this proves that this isn't soley a woman's issue.
The book also represents Men's Rights Activists and Incels in a disingenious way. I have spent a fair bit of time in these manosphere communities as part of research for my own writing projects. MRAs are fighting for important issues that affect men that feminists do not care about. Incels are (largely from I have seen) mysoginistic. There are isolated communities of incels that are pretty chill (like incelistan.net and r/incelswithouthate) but I'll give this one to Goldberg, they are misogynists. BUT only 4 mass shooters have come out of incel communities. The Columbine fangirl communities have produced more (attempted and caught) mass shooters than that. It isn't fair to blame an entire community for Elliot Rogers and Alek Minnassian, when such a small number of incels have gone on to do harm. I think it'd be more telling to look at the suicide rate for that community. And at the very least hold deviant female-majority online communities to the same standards. I'm waiting for somebody to do a deep dive on those Columbine fangirls. They on Tumblr right now incubating their next mass shooter. But they're female, so you know, women am I right? What are they gonna do /s
Lastly, the book just has a very r/thathappened vibe. I really felt like a lot of anecdotes should have ended with "and then everybody clapped." Maybe they originally did and her editor cut it out.
She really likes to brag about wearing heels like it's an accomplishment. And at the end of the book when she tries to paint this emotional call-to-action she talks about her "army of warriors" clacking down the road in heels.
Are you against gender coding or not? Women have to wear uncomfortable and frankly, unhealthy, footwear to be taken seriously professionally? And she lets us know that her senior clients would "give her hell" if she didn't wear her heels. I feel like..no...no they didn't give a shit. But also if she's a strong feminist, why isn't she making her own decisions about her footwear? The whole thing with her bragging about high heels was weird, and coupled with the cringey author's photo, I get the sense she's trying to sexualize herself, which is odd considering the serious content of the book.
Also, "Army of Warriors" I found myself both bewildered and annoyed everytime this phrase was used. It's so painfully redundant.
What the hell else would an army be made of?
I wish that detailed description of Nazi Dr.Mengels' work would have had a bit more of a lead-in. If you're going to vividly depict the torture and gruesome deaths of children, I think there should be more of a drawn-out foreshadowing leading up to it. Yes, I knew the chapter was about her work with holocaust survivors, but I felt like that part came out of nowhere and I would have opted to skip it if I'd known she was going to get THAT dark.
All in all, Carrie Goldberg does important work. I admire what she does for victims and cyber-law.
She shouldn't write anymore books. She needs a ghostwriter who is less of an obnoxious man-bashing feminist. I'm not saying ALL feminists are obnoxious and man-bashing, I am saying that this particular feminist is obnoxious and man-bashing.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk XD
November 3, 2019
This book is very interesting but aside from detailing a few cases and talking very generally about Internet misogyny, there’s not much to this. It probably would make a very good TED talk or episode of This American Life. I don’t know what I was hoping for, but it fell a little flat. It was also disheartening that so many of the cases go nowhere and she is unable to get justice for her victims because the judicial system is broken. I bet if someone had no idea how awful the Internet is for anyone that isn’t a rich white cis-het man, this would be revelatory. I am not that person, although I am glad to know there are people like Carrie Goldberg who are fighting for those who have been victimized.
If you are uneducated in how truly awful the Internet is for those who dare question the powerful men in charge, then this is a great book. It’s easy to read, written in a way that doesn’t pull any punches but demystifies some of the technical aspects that maybe someone who isn’t internet savvy could still get a lot out of. Content warnings for all of the awful things that people have dealt with from internet trolls and creeps (rape, assault, etc)
If you are uneducated in how truly awful the Internet is for those who dare question the powerful men in charge, then this is a great book. It’s easy to read, written in a way that doesn’t pull any punches but demystifies some of the technical aspects that maybe someone who isn’t internet savvy could still get a lot out of. Content warnings for all of the awful things that people have dealt with from internet trolls and creeps (rape, assault, etc)
July 15, 2019
I finished the book in tears. Get this book and read it!
When I was younger, I never used the word evil. The phrase was clearly outdated and judgmental. People were generally well meaning, if wrong. Sometimes they would hurt others, true, but it was either a misunderstanding or in horrible situations, no doubt something that happened in childhood.
I'm older now but I use the term evil. For some acts there is no other word.
Carrie Goldberg and her law firm specialize in helping victim's of revenge porn and online blackmail and extortion. And she and her team are doing God's work. They are helping the most vulnerable.
When I was younger, I never used the word evil. The phrase was clearly outdated and judgmental. People were generally well meaning, if wrong. Sometimes they would hurt others, true, but it was either a misunderstanding or in horrible situations, no doubt something that happened in childhood.
I'm older now but I use the term evil. For some acts there is no other word.
Carrie Goldberg and her law firm specialize in helping victim's of revenge porn and online blackmail and extortion. And she and her team are doing God's work. They are helping the most vulnerable.
September 21, 2019
Nobody’s Victim is a must-read for anyone who has gone through the trauma of online trolling and harassment or works in law. Carrie Goldberg shares her career journey, firstly supporting victims of Nazi Germany before becoming a victims’ rights lawyer in Brooklyn, litigating for victims of stalking, sexual assault, and blackmail. In Nobody’s Victim, Goldberg shares the frustrating, gut-wrenching and tragic cases involving the people she has fought and won for and continues to support.
I had an online stalker creep troll a while ago, and the harassment, even though mild in comparison to some of these extreme cases haunted me for over a year. Comments, remarks online, fake accounts and slow, sporadic escalation. The troll got hold of my mobile number and made threats of a sexual and violent nature. Where could I go? I thought I had options and I took some steps which I thought would make it stop.
My steps to try and block an online troll
I locked down my security settings, location and comments – this helped a bit, but I had to screen every new interaction and follower because old mate was creating fake accounts. How did I spot them? Well, each account had the same terrible grammar and spelling mistakes.
I reported to Facebook – I received no reply
I reported to Instagram – I received no reply
I reported to WhatsApp – I received a message saying that they would look into it internally, but would not be updating me
I went to the cops. They were brilliant and understanding, and I filed a report. But, ultimately, what could they do with a ghost?
I did some research and found that the trolls number was registered in Ireland. I contacted the phone carrier with screenshots and was told ‘So sorry to hear that, but we can’t help or disclose information on any person’. I was also told it was a pay as you go mobile, which may mean it wasn’t even registered to a name.’
So that’s where I was at. I just had to ignore, block, ignore, block and pretend it didn’t get to me until they moved on somewhere else. Bothering someone else.
Carrie Goldberg is a legend. She paves the way for all kinds of people who have experienced extreme online harassment to get justice. She is constantly trying to find a way to change laws to protect victims and remove the force field which currently protects platforms such as Facebook, Grindr and Snapchat. from The current laws relieve these global machines from taking any responsibility for the messages, propaganda and abuse which spews out of their platforms. Literally destroying lives.
Who Should Read Nobody’s Victim?
Yes, Nobody’s Victim has a glowing review from Tarana Burke, founder of the Me Too movement, but Carrie Goldbergs chooses to fight for EVERYONE, no matter your gender, demographic or social standing. Internet harassment, abuse and trolling can affect anyone, celebrities, moms, single men, women and children. Even the dead are having memorial pages trolled and defiled.
Nobody’s Victim is an interesting read which will open your eyes to the vastness of the problem and the non-existent legal responsibilities these global online platforms have. Which is quite scary when most of us live our lives and share our personal stories and photos on them every day.
I had an online stalker creep troll a while ago, and the harassment, even though mild in comparison to some of these extreme cases haunted me for over a year. Comments, remarks online, fake accounts and slow, sporadic escalation. The troll got hold of my mobile number and made threats of a sexual and violent nature. Where could I go? I thought I had options and I took some steps which I thought would make it stop.
My steps to try and block an online troll
I locked down my security settings, location and comments – this helped a bit, but I had to screen every new interaction and follower because old mate was creating fake accounts. How did I spot them? Well, each account had the same terrible grammar and spelling mistakes.
I reported to Facebook – I received no reply
I reported to Instagram – I received no reply
I reported to WhatsApp – I received a message saying that they would look into it internally, but would not be updating me
I went to the cops. They were brilliant and understanding, and I filed a report. But, ultimately, what could they do with a ghost?
I did some research and found that the trolls number was registered in Ireland. I contacted the phone carrier with screenshots and was told ‘So sorry to hear that, but we can’t help or disclose information on any person’. I was also told it was a pay as you go mobile, which may mean it wasn’t even registered to a name.’
So that’s where I was at. I just had to ignore, block, ignore, block and pretend it didn’t get to me until they moved on somewhere else. Bothering someone else.
Carrie Goldberg is a legend. She paves the way for all kinds of people who have experienced extreme online harassment to get justice. She is constantly trying to find a way to change laws to protect victims and remove the force field which currently protects platforms such as Facebook, Grindr and Snapchat. from The current laws relieve these global machines from taking any responsibility for the messages, propaganda and abuse which spews out of their platforms. Literally destroying lives.
Who Should Read Nobody’s Victim?
Yes, Nobody’s Victim has a glowing review from Tarana Burke, founder of the Me Too movement, but Carrie Goldbergs chooses to fight for EVERYONE, no matter your gender, demographic or social standing. Internet harassment, abuse and trolling can affect anyone, celebrities, moms, single men, women and children. Even the dead are having memorial pages trolled and defiled.
Nobody’s Victim is an interesting read which will open your eyes to the vastness of the problem and the non-existent legal responsibilities these global online platforms have. Which is quite scary when most of us live our lives and share our personal stories and photos on them every day.
September 3, 2019
Very impressed with Carrie Goldberg and what she's done helping people fight violence online. It's a topic that's of interest to me for numerous reasons.
One of the most despicable things is how little the American government has done to ensure that new comprehensive legislation is put into effect to protect vulnerable populations, such as kids and teens, enduring things like sextortion online. Then again, they didn't do shit when all them kids were killed in Newtown either, so I can't be surprised with how little the American government wants to help their people. Also, when members of gov are friends with pieces of shit like Jeffrey Epstein as well, can we really be surprised at their lack of effort towards helping powerful men be brought to justice? Not really.
I am constantly fixated on what the Canadian government is doing to combat online harassment and violence. It's an ever-evolving journey with incremental progress, missteps, and confusion. However, many in the movement to end violence against women in Canada are working on pushing for more awareness and legislative change and are working on arming people with knowledge regarding online and digital safety.
This book was a work of art in the war against online harassment and digital violence, everyone should read it. I commend Carrie for her work with survivors and for sharing her personal story.
One of the most despicable things is how little the American government has done to ensure that new comprehensive legislation is put into effect to protect vulnerable populations, such as kids and teens, enduring things like sextortion online. Then again, they didn't do shit when all them kids were killed in Newtown either, so I can't be surprised with how little the American government wants to help their people. Also, when members of gov are friends with pieces of shit like Jeffrey Epstein as well, can we really be surprised at their lack of effort towards helping powerful men be brought to justice? Not really.
I am constantly fixated on what the Canadian government is doing to combat online harassment and violence. It's an ever-evolving journey with incremental progress, missteps, and confusion. However, many in the movement to end violence against women in Canada are working on pushing for more awareness and legislative change and are working on arming people with knowledge regarding online and digital safety.
This book was a work of art in the war against online harassment and digital violence, everyone should read it. I commend Carrie for her work with survivors and for sharing her personal story.
December 22, 2019
I’ve done it! I’ve finally finished this book!
Lawyer (and real life superhero, IMO) Carrie Goldberg writes about her experiences in fighting against sexual violence and privacy violations. In this book, she reveals what led her to become a part of the fight against trolls, pervs, and all sorts of creeps. “Nobody’s Victim” also covers the various pieces of legislation surrounding these issues and how they led to the clusterfrick we currently have on our hands (countless online attacks and no real federal legislation to prosecute). Though the author shares many stories from the survivors she’s helped, this book read a bit dry...but seriously only a tad bit. All in all, it’s an excellent, timely read full of good information.
Lawyer (and real life superhero, IMO) Carrie Goldberg writes about her experiences in fighting against sexual violence and privacy violations. In this book, she reveals what led her to become a part of the fight against trolls, pervs, and all sorts of creeps. “Nobody’s Victim” also covers the various pieces of legislation surrounding these issues and how they led to the clusterfrick we currently have on our hands (countless online attacks and no real federal legislation to prosecute). Though the author shares many stories from the survivors she’s helped, this book read a bit dry...but seriously only a tad bit. All in all, it’s an excellent, timely read full of good information.
November 4, 2019
I wanted to like this book a lot more. The work Carrie Goldberg does is important and very admirable but the use of language like psycho to describe the men she pursues was off-putting from the start. Additionally, while I'm open to a range of opinions about section 230 her views on SESTA and sex work rubbed me the wrong way and I found it extremely disappointing that she plugs the Polaris project in her resources section. I would expect someone as driven and educated on revenge porn to have taken the time to listen to sex workers on SESTA/FOSTA and the rescue industry
Read
May 9, 2022That was really tough to read, but definitely a very important book and I’m glad I’ve read it.
August 26, 2024
the last chapter of this book (the conclusion) was one of the most horrifying stories i’ve ever heard in my life. there were many graphic stories in here that were shocking to hear, and lots of people (men) with despicable behavior, so when i reached the end assuming we were maybe on an upswing, i was not prepared for this grand finale of a story. wow.
i feel like i also learned a lot in terms of law and legislation when it comes to things like stalking, revenge p*rn, etc as she talked about various clients of hers throughout her career. at times the legal jargon went a bit over my head or i had to rewind but overall
it was digestible.
the author showed so much resilience and perseverance in situations i could not begin to imagine experiencing and surviving through. not only is she a survivor herself, but she fights for other survivors in her professor and it’s pretty amazing to see that she turned such terrifying experiences into the career she has. the authors note was very uplifting and hopeful without cheapening the message overall. very moving, very emotional, super graphic so please be warned!!!
i feel like i also learned a lot in terms of law and legislation when it comes to things like stalking, revenge p*rn, etc as she talked about various clients of hers throughout her career. at times the legal jargon went a bit over my head or i had to rewind but overall
it was digestible.
the author showed so much resilience and perseverance in situations i could not begin to imagine experiencing and surviving through. not only is she a survivor herself, but she fights for other survivors in her professor and it’s pretty amazing to see that she turned such terrifying experiences into the career she has. the authors note was very uplifting and hopeful without cheapening the message overall. very moving, very emotional, super graphic so please be warned!!!
May 7, 2023
Should be essential reading (made me sick and furious)
May 4, 2025
Heartbreaking and such a hard read to hear more stories about what women go through on a daily basis. Carrie inspires you to fight back and not accept the abuse given to any sexual assault survivors.
November 21, 2019
“My name is Carrie Goldberg and I’m a victims’ rights lawyer. Some people call me a “passionate advocate” or a “social justice warrior.” I’d rather be called a ruthless motherf*cker.”
This is how Carrie Goldberg introduces herself in the bold and utterly compelling Nobody’s Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls. Goldberg is a lawyer whose firm, C.A. Goldberg, PLLC, specialises in representing those who are targeted by offenders that use the internet to stalk, harass, intimidate, extort, or otherwise cause them harm.
Carrie has an intimate understanding of the issues her clients face, the inspiration for establishing her law firm came when she was victimised by an ex who tormented her for over a year with, among other things, a flood of hateful texts and emails, threats to post intimate pictures online, false allegations made on social media to friends and family, and a vexatious criminal charge. She was frustrated, frightened and near suicidal to discover the law could not protect her from his unreasonable rage.
While (US based) tech companies shield themselves from responsibility by exploiting a piece of legislation known as Section 230 of the CDA, the legal system moves too slowly to put adequate protections in place, and too many (white men) in power support the status quo, Carrie fights hard for the recognition of her clients rights to safety, privacy and dignity.
In sharing the stories of some of her clients, who include a thirteen year old girl who was excluded from attending school after reporting that she was raped by a fellow student, a young man whose ex used the Grindr app to send more than a thousand strangers to his door, a woman forced to go into hiding when she was doxed in a troll attack, and the five women who accused Weinstein of sex crimes, triggering the #metoo movement, Goldberg illustrates the grim failures of society to protect girls and boys, women and men, from the psycho’s, stalkers, pervs and trolls who target them, and leads the fight to protect them.
“There’s help if you need it and an army of warriors ready to stand by your side. You matter and you don’t have to fight this battle alone. You are nobody’s victim”
I would not hesitate to recommend Nobody’s Victim to everyone, this is a thought provoking, honest, and important expose of an injustice that demands attention and support to resolve.
This is how Carrie Goldberg introduces herself in the bold and utterly compelling Nobody’s Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls. Goldberg is a lawyer whose firm, C.A. Goldberg, PLLC, specialises in representing those who are targeted by offenders that use the internet to stalk, harass, intimidate, extort, or otherwise cause them harm.
Carrie has an intimate understanding of the issues her clients face, the inspiration for establishing her law firm came when she was victimised by an ex who tormented her for over a year with, among other things, a flood of hateful texts and emails, threats to post intimate pictures online, false allegations made on social media to friends and family, and a vexatious criminal charge. She was frustrated, frightened and near suicidal to discover the law could not protect her from his unreasonable rage.
While (US based) tech companies shield themselves from responsibility by exploiting a piece of legislation known as Section 230 of the CDA, the legal system moves too slowly to put adequate protections in place, and too many (white men) in power support the status quo, Carrie fights hard for the recognition of her clients rights to safety, privacy and dignity.
In sharing the stories of some of her clients, who include a thirteen year old girl who was excluded from attending school after reporting that she was raped by a fellow student, a young man whose ex used the Grindr app to send more than a thousand strangers to his door, a woman forced to go into hiding when she was doxed in a troll attack, and the five women who accused Weinstein of sex crimes, triggering the #metoo movement, Goldberg illustrates the grim failures of society to protect girls and boys, women and men, from the psycho’s, stalkers, pervs and trolls who target them, and leads the fight to protect them.
“There’s help if you need it and an army of warriors ready to stand by your side. You matter and you don’t have to fight this battle alone. You are nobody’s victim”
I would not hesitate to recommend Nobody’s Victim to everyone, this is a thought provoking, honest, and important expose of an injustice that demands attention and support to resolve.
August 28, 2019
Attorney Carrie Goldberg is truly a special, passionate woman and I'm so thankful that she is doing the work that she is making such a big difference in the lives of individual victims while also taking part in adopting laws that will catch us up to present day technology. It is my hope that in the future more victims and their lawyers will be able to more easily bring charges against their aggressors without having to spend far too long being traumatized in order to build a case. I was absolutely shocked and disgusted at how greatly the justice system let down so many people, many minors, when either the police department said there wasn't enough evidence to arrest a perp or the victims' schools decide to punish the victim, letting the stalker/perv/troll get away with nary a slap on the wrist. Carrie though, she's not giving up. One of her extreme cases (no not the one where an ex-boyfriend was calling in bomb threats to JCCs across the country), where a young man was being trolled by his ex who set up fake accounts on Grindr etc. in order to target the man with propositions from strangers at his home and place of work, is going to the US Supreme Court and it just might be the case that finally holds websites and apps more accountable than the law as ever allowed before.
If you have ever found yourself in a situation like any of Carrie's clients, you may want to proceed with caution, though in the instances where justice was served, even after some time, you may find yourself feeling vindicated. I'd encourage everyone to read this, either because you may have a friend performing questionable behavior on exes and you can learn a little more on how bad it can get and step in, or you can pick up tips for the future lest you have the misfortunate of encountering these horrible kinds of people, and know that you can speed dial Carrie for help.
If you have ever found yourself in a situation like any of Carrie's clients, you may want to proceed with caution, though in the instances where justice was served, even after some time, you may find yourself feeling vindicated. I'd encourage everyone to read this, either because you may have a friend performing questionable behavior on exes and you can learn a little more on how bad it can get and step in, or you can pick up tips for the future lest you have the misfortunate of encountering these horrible kinds of people, and know that you can speed dial Carrie for help.
September 27, 2019
This is one of the greatest nonfiction books I've ever read. Carrie Goldberg, a victims' rights lawyer focused on fighting sexual assault, internet-based sexual harassment, and stalking, has created a powerful account of the legal battleground surrounding these types of offenses. Describing herself as a "ruthless motherfucker," Goldberg lays bare the realities of how technology is being used diabolically by some to ruin lives, as well as the laws in place that protect the abuser instead of the victim. While the cases in this book can be emotionally hard to read, Goldberg's ability to advocate for her clients and empower them kept me from falling into a pit of despair. The legal details are so well explained that I walked away feeling like I had a strong grasp not only of the current harassment laws, but also of the cultural occurrences that these laws were born from. I find this book to be incredibly important in understanding the current internet troll culture we've found ourselves in, and in understanding how to fight back against the rape culture that it perpetuates. A truly excellent, must-read book.
For more reviews and book recommendations, find me on Instagram @GetLitBookclub
For more reviews and book recommendations, find me on Instagram @GetLitBookclub
June 27, 2019
This book is a phenomenal reference source for anyone and everyone that has an internet following. I have friends that reach a popular point and always get stalked. The book offers real life shocking experiences with narcisst psychopaths with a goal to ruin your life. There's a list of multiple resources with phone numbers and how to contact specific agencies for help. I found that the most valuable because it's difficult to find the right person or agency when you have a stalker tormenting you. I have one right now and so glad I found this book, it's helpful for many different situations. But most of all I would say this book is a must read for everyone since I've read that 5 out of every 100 people are sociopaths.
November 11, 2019
This book is written by a lawyer who covers sexual harassment, stalking, "revenge porn," and similar issues. She is one of the lawyers for the Weinstein cases. I appreciated her unapologetic attitude, her intelligence, and her honesty. She often goes after abusers in civil suits, which means her clients actually get some compensation for their suffering. She does not seem to be a fan of carceral feminism, despite being a lawyer, and I also appreciate that. This book talks a lot about modern issues for women, such as films and pictures leaked onto the web without permission, stalkers using VPNs to hide from the law, and online harassment. I definitely learned a lot from reading this book.
Read
May 14, 2022DNF at about halfway.
While I found the book fascinating & eye opening, I could not shake my growing annoyance with the author.
I was disappointed to find Goldberg generally misogynistic and appearing to wallow in the victimhood of her clients.
I'm not discounting the important work I've no doubt Goldberg has done for this cause, and individual victims, but she isnt very humble about it either. Some of her anecdotes seemed a little far fetched or exaggerated for dramatic effect, and MOST seemed to finish with an expectation of a round of applause & a pat on the back.
The author obviously has a very high opinion of herself, unfortunately I disliked her too much to continue.
While I found the book fascinating & eye opening, I could not shake my growing annoyance with the author.
I was disappointed to find Goldberg generally misogynistic and appearing to wallow in the victimhood of her clients.
I'm not discounting the important work I've no doubt Goldberg has done for this cause, and individual victims, but she isnt very humble about it either. Some of her anecdotes seemed a little far fetched or exaggerated for dramatic effect, and MOST seemed to finish with an expectation of a round of applause & a pat on the back.
The author obviously has a very high opinion of herself, unfortunately I disliked her too much to continue.
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