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Beloved Bridegroom
Book by Nielsen, Donna B.
202 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 1999
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
April 13, 2020
Some minor editing goofs (grammatical errors and what looks like a couple copy and paste snafus) did nothing to deter from the deep well of knowledge found in this book.
Basically, this blew my mind.
I took so many notes that I seemed to have copied most of the book into Evernote.
And here’s the thing- we’re supposed to know this stuff. Reading this, then reading the New Testament and attending the temple- yup, God wanted us to know the basic cultural heritage that is ours. Learning about ancient Jewish marriage and family customs has deepened the meaning of my covenants, and has helped me understand God’s character on a more intimate level. Perhaps even more importantly, I also have a better appreciation for my role and expectations. I am seeing everything in a new light, and it is glorious.
I can’t stop talking about this one.
Basically, this blew my mind.
I took so many notes that I seemed to have copied most of the book into Evernote.
And here’s the thing- we’re supposed to know this stuff. Reading this, then reading the New Testament and attending the temple- yup, God wanted us to know the basic cultural heritage that is ours. Learning about ancient Jewish marriage and family customs has deepened the meaning of my covenants, and has helped me understand God’s character on a more intimate level. Perhaps even more importantly, I also have a better appreciation for my role and expectations. I am seeing everything in a new light, and it is glorious.
I can’t stop talking about this one.
July 15, 2010
Christ really does refer to himself as the bridegroom in a number of scriptures, and I have the tendency to just breeze through them thinking, "Okay, you're the bridegroom. I got it." But there is so much more to that statement than I had realized! The layers of symbolism in this statement are amazing. Nielsen delves into Jewish marriage customs that make me appreciate Christ, the scriptures, the temple, and my own marriage so much more. I will never read another "bridegroom" scripture the same way again.
March 21, 2026
Such an interesting read! I loved learning more about the culture and traditions during the time of jesus and before.
Here are some of my notes:
After evaluating each creative period and finding them pleasing the Lord, then pronounced his very first not good. It was not good that man should be alone. 1
Marriage was not an option. It was the very first religious command given by God to man. In Israel, most rabbis held That young people ought to be married by age 18 at the latest. At age 13, a boy was considered to be of marriageable age. For the girls, the youngest acceptable age was 12 years and one month.2
Chapter 2, the marriage proposal
It was not that love was thought to be unimportant, it was just that to them, love was an emotion to be cultivated after marriage rather than before.11
Bride price- compensating the father for the great loss of his daughter and her contribution to the household 20
The final price is frequently paid in livestock, especially in camels.… Part of this bride price Later became the women’s dowry so that she was left with some financial security in the event of her husband‘s death or if he divorced her.… This dowry had the root idea of endowment or en-dower-ment. To receive an endowment before her marriage from her father made the young girl feel protected and loved. It was a shield and safeguard against future uncertainty.21
Chapter 3- the brides acceptance
The marriage consisted of two parts that were separated by a year or more. The first stage was betrothal. Betrothal in the Jewish mind was a serious covenant. Covenant relationships were final, sealed in blood, and legally binding. Betrothal was so legally binding that one could not break the contract without a divorce. 23
A gold ring or gold or silver coins, are given as betrothal gifts from the groom. The coins were worn on a chain that was attached to her veil… If she were careless, this might be interpreted by her husband as a lack of affection and respect for him…. So these coins were held sacred by the Jews, and the wife would use the money from this gift only in the event of divorce or widowhood. We can then understand the woman’s concern and anxiety when she lost it and why she was so happy that she called her neighbors to rejoice with her when she found it.27
The betrothal was usually followed by a feast at the brides home. But custom required that once this process was completed, the relationship accepted, witnessed , and sealed, the bride groom would then have to leave his bride. He would go to his father‘s house to prepare a place for her. 29.
Chapter 4 - preparing a place
He would build a separate building on his father‘s property, or decorate a room in his father‘s house. The bridal chamber had to be beautiful… And it had to be stocked with provisions since the bride and groom we’re going to remain inside for seven days. This construction project would ordinarily take the better part of a year.
While the new home was under construction, the newly engaged couple did not see each other.31
The father of the groom was the sole judge of when the preparations were complete. It seems logical to assume that if it were only up to the young man, he would throw up some quick lean to and hurry to get his bride. But his father was less emotionally involved and would be more concerned with quality craftmanship. When the father determined everything was ready, he gave permission for the son to claim his bride. No one knew when that permission was forthcoming, so not even the bride and groom knew the exact day of the wedding. Only the father knew. 32
Before the wedding, the new bride would have a ritual bath or immersion at a Mikvah. Genesis 1:10 these sources were considered to be living water. The brides life and body were to be the gift of a living sacrifice to her husband and to be pure without any spot or blemish was the condition required of sacrifices.34
From the time of the bride grooms departure until he returned for her year later, the bride placed a lamp in her window and kept it continually burning every night. It was a token of her faithfulness.
It was customary for a man to begin wearing a tallit on the day he was married and he would do so every day there after until the day he died… A tallit has a total of four tassels with eight strings in each tassel equaling 32 strings. The number 32 in Hebrew has the same numerical value as the word “lev” meaning heart. The bride was giving her heart to her husband, which he would wear for all to see.36
Finally, the great day came when the wedding house was finished, and the father gave his long awaited permission. While the groom called and gathered his friends. The father sent servants with the second announcement. The first invitation or calling had been sent earlier when the betrothal began.37
When nearing the brides home, a messenger was sent ahead to give a shout the bride groom come. They would allow a short time, never more than half an hour to give the bread time to make final preparations and then they would call out again the bridegroom come… Because of the mixed up with Jacob getting the wrong bride the first time a rule was made in Jewish marriage lot that the groom had the right to veil the bride at her house so he could make sure that it was the correct girl and he was not being tricked. 39
After these blessings were recited the bride and groom, and all of the invited guests who carried their lights went in. The door was then shut and bolted because there was not enough room for all who seek to enter. Even the invited guest who came late Were left outside. To be late, was unthinkable at such an important occasion and was considered a gross insult to the host. The heavy barred door could only be opened with difficulty and servants were instructed to refuse entry to late comers. 42
Chapter 5, the 10 bridesmaids
They were also very superstitious about light. Since ancient banquets were held at night in rooms that were very well lit, anyone who was excluded from a special feast, was said to be cast out of the lighted room into the outer darkness of night. In the teachings of Jesus, this kind of exclusion is like Ence to the day of judgment.
The expression outer darkness takes on a new meaning, when we realize that in addition to having a great dread of darkness, those not attending to the wedding feast would also suffer the agony of being alone when everyone else was rejoicing together.. in the Middle East doors were left open all day as a sign of hospitality. But with approaching darkness, the doors were always bolted.
When knocking at the door, an individual did not give his name because it was felt that an impostor or thief might try to gain access by using the name of a family friend. His voice had to be recognized… So in the parable of the foolish virgins when the Lord says, I know you not. He is saying that he does not recognize the virgin‘s voices. There hadn’t been enough genuine interaction that their voices would be familiar.47
Chapter 6, the wedding canopy
The groom’s wedding clothing had a white coat or tunic girded with a white sash. This coat was associated with purity, forgiveness of sins and solemn joy. The white sash was a symbol of service, since sashes were used to gird loins, and girded loins, denoted, alertness, strength, and readiness for action. 50.
It was thought that the white cap was a symbol of being crowned with holiness and righteousness. Since the head denotes, authority, wisdom, and experience, the white miter also represented the wisdom that comes with age.
The shoulder was where large keys were carried, and also the priests portion in the temple was the right shoulder of the sacrificial animal. Since the shoulder and arm were connected, it also symbolized power to act with authority. 54.
The fruit of the vine-literally the wine symbol of rejoicing and figuratively for the future of the couple (the vine is a symbol for wife)
Praised are you who causes the groom to rejoice with his bride. Through God “the groom rejoices with his bride “this is the only allusion to the joys of sexual intimacy . Is otherwise not mentioned but many see this last blessing as having a much deeper meaning.56
Chapter 7- gardens and fountains
Intense attraction was considered a blessing that brought about the purposes of God, and the coming together of the couple was a healthy fulfilling of the creators intention. Sexual intimacy was seen as an experience that allowed a man and a woman to act in a godlike role, in that through its expression a husband and wife were empowered to create new life.
Hebrews 13:4 marriage is honorable in every respect; and in particular, sex within marriage is pure. 58
Our creator designed this most intimate union for his wise purposes, some of which include
1. Unity (Genesis 2:24)
2. Reveal knowledge (genesis 4:1)
3. Unleash the deepest comfort (Genesis 25: 67; 2 Samuel 12:24)
4. Procreation (Genesis 1:28)
5. To guard against temptation (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)
Marriage gave freedom to pent up desires but also acted as a bridle to them. Marital satisfaction was considered a preventative to unfaithfulness and immorality. The marital “bridle” was designed to fill both partners with greater love for each other and increase their determination to remain faithful to their mutual covenant. 59
Mutual fulfillment and sexual equality were the goals and expectations (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)NLT
Chapter 8 food for feasting
The table in every home was thought to be a type of the temple altar in foods placed upon them, were thoughts to symbolize the covenant offerings given there 67
To break bread meant to eat a meal. 69
Olive oil is a high energy food and one of the most digestible of all fats. It’s used as fuel, as part of religious ceremonial anointing, cosmetic, and to offer guests the sign of welcome… Because of its potential to live over 2000 years and still bare fruit, the olive tree has longer represented longevity and immortality.73
Figs were especially popular with athletes who eat them specifically to increase their stamina and improve their performance
The most important guests that nearest the bride and groom and furthest from the door 89
Spiritual preparation and marriage
The Lord calls us to a relationship with him that is close and intimate. He longs to share with us, his thoughts and feelings, his joy and pain. He is deeply sensitive and willing to be vulnerable and he asks the same of us in our relationship with him and others. From such vulnerable intimacy comes knowledge, unity, and comfort. He longs to be one with us.
In the marriage chamber, the bride and groom were alone. When she removed her veil in his presence, they could then see and be seen as they really were. The need to be honestly and completely known and still accepted and loved is one of our strongest emotional needs.133
there’s an interesting parallel to the idea that the land was cursed, and that Adam would have to labor with difficulty to cause it to bring forth. A woman likewise, was sometimes compared to land. frequently in Middle Eastern terms, she was endearingly referred to as a garden. The analogy is obvious. Just as a garden receives seed and brings forth, so does a woman. It is worth noting that another term for Gardner is husbandman.142
There was a division of labor from the beginning, though certainly there was much overlap. The woman’s unique capacity and primary responsibility was to give birth and care for the couples children. Since her land ( body) was mortal, this assignment required labor, and Travail. After each birth, her labor continued through giving needed nourishment and care to their offspring. 143.
Women must also shed their blood to give life.150
Here are some of my notes:
After evaluating each creative period and finding them pleasing the Lord, then pronounced his very first not good. It was not good that man should be alone. 1
Marriage was not an option. It was the very first religious command given by God to man. In Israel, most rabbis held That young people ought to be married by age 18 at the latest. At age 13, a boy was considered to be of marriageable age. For the girls, the youngest acceptable age was 12 years and one month.2
Chapter 2, the marriage proposal
It was not that love was thought to be unimportant, it was just that to them, love was an emotion to be cultivated after marriage rather than before.11
Bride price- compensating the father for the great loss of his daughter and her contribution to the household 20
The final price is frequently paid in livestock, especially in camels.… Part of this bride price Later became the women’s dowry so that she was left with some financial security in the event of her husband‘s death or if he divorced her.… This dowry had the root idea of endowment or en-dower-ment. To receive an endowment before her marriage from her father made the young girl feel protected and loved. It was a shield and safeguard against future uncertainty.21
Chapter 3- the brides acceptance
The marriage consisted of two parts that were separated by a year or more. The first stage was betrothal. Betrothal in the Jewish mind was a serious covenant. Covenant relationships were final, sealed in blood, and legally binding. Betrothal was so legally binding that one could not break the contract without a divorce. 23
A gold ring or gold or silver coins, are given as betrothal gifts from the groom. The coins were worn on a chain that was attached to her veil… If she were careless, this might be interpreted by her husband as a lack of affection and respect for him…. So these coins were held sacred by the Jews, and the wife would use the money from this gift only in the event of divorce or widowhood. We can then understand the woman’s concern and anxiety when she lost it and why she was so happy that she called her neighbors to rejoice with her when she found it.27
The betrothal was usually followed by a feast at the brides home. But custom required that once this process was completed, the relationship accepted, witnessed , and sealed, the bride groom would then have to leave his bride. He would go to his father‘s house to prepare a place for her. 29.
Chapter 4 - preparing a place
He would build a separate building on his father‘s property, or decorate a room in his father‘s house. The bridal chamber had to be beautiful… And it had to be stocked with provisions since the bride and groom we’re going to remain inside for seven days. This construction project would ordinarily take the better part of a year.
While the new home was under construction, the newly engaged couple did not see each other.31
The father of the groom was the sole judge of when the preparations were complete. It seems logical to assume that if it were only up to the young man, he would throw up some quick lean to and hurry to get his bride. But his father was less emotionally involved and would be more concerned with quality craftmanship. When the father determined everything was ready, he gave permission for the son to claim his bride. No one knew when that permission was forthcoming, so not even the bride and groom knew the exact day of the wedding. Only the father knew. 32
Before the wedding, the new bride would have a ritual bath or immersion at a Mikvah. Genesis 1:10 these sources were considered to be living water. The brides life and body were to be the gift of a living sacrifice to her husband and to be pure without any spot or blemish was the condition required of sacrifices.34
From the time of the bride grooms departure until he returned for her year later, the bride placed a lamp in her window and kept it continually burning every night. It was a token of her faithfulness.
It was customary for a man to begin wearing a tallit on the day he was married and he would do so every day there after until the day he died… A tallit has a total of four tassels with eight strings in each tassel equaling 32 strings. The number 32 in Hebrew has the same numerical value as the word “lev” meaning heart. The bride was giving her heart to her husband, which he would wear for all to see.36
Finally, the great day came when the wedding house was finished, and the father gave his long awaited permission. While the groom called and gathered his friends. The father sent servants with the second announcement. The first invitation or calling had been sent earlier when the betrothal began.37
When nearing the brides home, a messenger was sent ahead to give a shout the bride groom come. They would allow a short time, never more than half an hour to give the bread time to make final preparations and then they would call out again the bridegroom come… Because of the mixed up with Jacob getting the wrong bride the first time a rule was made in Jewish marriage lot that the groom had the right to veil the bride at her house so he could make sure that it was the correct girl and he was not being tricked. 39
After these blessings were recited the bride and groom, and all of the invited guests who carried their lights went in. The door was then shut and bolted because there was not enough room for all who seek to enter. Even the invited guest who came late Were left outside. To be late, was unthinkable at such an important occasion and was considered a gross insult to the host. The heavy barred door could only be opened with difficulty and servants were instructed to refuse entry to late comers. 42
Chapter 5, the 10 bridesmaids
They were also very superstitious about light. Since ancient banquets were held at night in rooms that were very well lit, anyone who was excluded from a special feast, was said to be cast out of the lighted room into the outer darkness of night. In the teachings of Jesus, this kind of exclusion is like Ence to the day of judgment.
The expression outer darkness takes on a new meaning, when we realize that in addition to having a great dread of darkness, those not attending to the wedding feast would also suffer the agony of being alone when everyone else was rejoicing together.. in the Middle East doors were left open all day as a sign of hospitality. But with approaching darkness, the doors were always bolted.
When knocking at the door, an individual did not give his name because it was felt that an impostor or thief might try to gain access by using the name of a family friend. His voice had to be recognized… So in the parable of the foolish virgins when the Lord says, I know you not. He is saying that he does not recognize the virgin‘s voices. There hadn’t been enough genuine interaction that their voices would be familiar.47
Chapter 6, the wedding canopy
The groom’s wedding clothing had a white coat or tunic girded with a white sash. This coat was associated with purity, forgiveness of sins and solemn joy. The white sash was a symbol of service, since sashes were used to gird loins, and girded loins, denoted, alertness, strength, and readiness for action. 50.
It was thought that the white cap was a symbol of being crowned with holiness and righteousness. Since the head denotes, authority, wisdom, and experience, the white miter also represented the wisdom that comes with age.
The shoulder was where large keys were carried, and also the priests portion in the temple was the right shoulder of the sacrificial animal. Since the shoulder and arm were connected, it also symbolized power to act with authority. 54.
The fruit of the vine-literally the wine symbol of rejoicing and figuratively for the future of the couple (the vine is a symbol for wife)
Praised are you who causes the groom to rejoice with his bride. Through God “the groom rejoices with his bride “this is the only allusion to the joys of sexual intimacy . Is otherwise not mentioned but many see this last blessing as having a much deeper meaning.56
Chapter 7- gardens and fountains
Intense attraction was considered a blessing that brought about the purposes of God, and the coming together of the couple was a healthy fulfilling of the creators intention. Sexual intimacy was seen as an experience that allowed a man and a woman to act in a godlike role, in that through its expression a husband and wife were empowered to create new life.
Hebrews 13:4 marriage is honorable in every respect; and in particular, sex within marriage is pure. 58
Our creator designed this most intimate union for his wise purposes, some of which include
1. Unity (Genesis 2:24)
2. Reveal knowledge (genesis 4:1)
3. Unleash the deepest comfort (Genesis 25: 67; 2 Samuel 12:24)
4. Procreation (Genesis 1:28)
5. To guard against temptation (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)
Marriage gave freedom to pent up desires but also acted as a bridle to them. Marital satisfaction was considered a preventative to unfaithfulness and immorality. The marital “bridle” was designed to fill both partners with greater love for each other and increase their determination to remain faithful to their mutual covenant. 59
Mutual fulfillment and sexual equality were the goals and expectations (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)NLT
Chapter 8 food for feasting
The table in every home was thought to be a type of the temple altar in foods placed upon them, were thoughts to symbolize the covenant offerings given there 67
To break bread meant to eat a meal. 69
Olive oil is a high energy food and one of the most digestible of all fats. It’s used as fuel, as part of religious ceremonial anointing, cosmetic, and to offer guests the sign of welcome… Because of its potential to live over 2000 years and still bare fruit, the olive tree has longer represented longevity and immortality.73
Figs were especially popular with athletes who eat them specifically to increase their stamina and improve their performance
The most important guests that nearest the bride and groom and furthest from the door 89
Spiritual preparation and marriage
The Lord calls us to a relationship with him that is close and intimate. He longs to share with us, his thoughts and feelings, his joy and pain. He is deeply sensitive and willing to be vulnerable and he asks the same of us in our relationship with him and others. From such vulnerable intimacy comes knowledge, unity, and comfort. He longs to be one with us.
In the marriage chamber, the bride and groom were alone. When she removed her veil in his presence, they could then see and be seen as they really were. The need to be honestly and completely known and still accepted and loved is one of our strongest emotional needs.133
there’s an interesting parallel to the idea that the land was cursed, and that Adam would have to labor with difficulty to cause it to bring forth. A woman likewise, was sometimes compared to land. frequently in Middle Eastern terms, she was endearingly referred to as a garden. The analogy is obvious. Just as a garden receives seed and brings forth, so does a woman. It is worth noting that another term for Gardner is husbandman.142
There was a division of labor from the beginning, though certainly there was much overlap. The woman’s unique capacity and primary responsibility was to give birth and care for the couples children. Since her land ( body) was mortal, this assignment required labor, and Travail. After each birth, her labor continued through giving needed nourishment and care to their offspring. 143.
Women must also shed their blood to give life.150
December 13, 2022
First half was a solid 5. I learned so much about intended meanings in scripture and insights into temple ordinances. The middle definitely turned into trying to drink water from a fire house with so much information given quickly and dryly that it was a lot harder to get through. Also had a lot of repeated information. The book then ended strong again. I learned a ton by reading this book and would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to study the Bible or Latter-day Saint temple ordinances.
September 21, 2011
This is actually a 3 1/2, and would have been a 4 until the last few chapters. I was intrigued through the early sections as Nielsen discusses ancient Jewish marriage and family customs. The symbolism of Christ as the bridegroom and his church (us) as the bride goes very deep into the many rituals. I loved her insights into the ten virgins story, her explanation of the wedding canopy, and her excellent observations about the significance of bread in Middle Eastern culture. I felt, however, that later parallels were taken too far, to the point that any two dots could be connected. For example, Nielsen's comparison between the larynx and the cervix made me roll my eyes: "The physical similarities between these two body parts seem to indicate a correlation between giving birth to children and giving life to our words. Speaking is much like giving birth..." Still, I learned a lot and will almost certainly refer back to this volume in the future.
December 28, 2008
Recommended by my friend Elaine. Just when you need a book, the right one always appears. I had a colleague scoff at this book (though not having read it) as not written by a scholar. How sad. Nielsen has done her research on the topic; she has taken the concept of the Jewish wedding to illustrate the metaphor of Israel or the covenant people as the bride of Jehovah. Although some editing might still be in order (I always notice things in books that I read), this was an invaluable and very readable help in understanding Jewish customs and so much more. Fascinating facts and scriptures. Another excellent book that helped me understand Hebrew and Greek origins for concepts and terms that modern Christianity has seemingly lost. I am keeping this book close at hand.
April 3, 2013
I’ve been meaning to review this wonderful book for the last few weeks since I first read it. But I’m glad I waited because I’ve been able to ponder it and reflect on just how important the book really is. Have you ever been puzzled by the references in the scriptures to the wedding feast, the marriage covenant, the significance of the marriage ceremony or the parable of the ten virgins?
You’re not alone. Even though I have been a student of the scriptures all my life, I always said to myself, “Someday I’ll understand why the Lord would have one of his prophets marry a harlot. But for the life of me, it seems an awful mean trick to play on a man, knowing that she would leave him and go after her former lovers.” Well, that day has come. I now understand Hosea.
The Bride Waits Faithfully
The Lord desires to have a sacred and deeply spiritual bond with us, similar to the bond that exists between two very close people such as a husband and wife. He does not desire to be an unknown or distant God. He wants our relationship to be based on experiences that are closely shared, building a personal and intimate association. We are the bride. He is the bridegroom.
Like Hosea’s bride, we have played the harlot. We have all gone astray seeking after the ways of the world, when we should have been faithful as we promised when we entered into the wedding contract through baptism. In ancient Israel, after entering into the marriage contract, it was now time for the bridegroom to go and build a home for his bride. She waits for his sudden return.
Bride Price Paid with Blood
Understanding ancient Jewish marriage and family customs will help us understand the Savior. The people he taught were Jews. They understood the significance of why the bridegroom had to go away after negotiating for the bride, paying the bride price and entering into the contract. The bridesmaids, light, outer darkness, the father’s house and the closed door were all clear to them.
For us, it’s not so clear. That’s why Donna Nielsen’s book, Beloved Bridegroom is so essential to really understand the events that will take place when the Savior returns. He came and paid for us in the meridian of time with the price of His blood. He loves us and is beloved by those who know and understood what He did for us. It is now time for the Bridegroom to claim his bride.
The Father Determines the Time
While the bridegroom was away building the wedding chamber or “little mansion” for their honeymoon, if he had to communicate with the bride, he did so through the “friend of the bridegroom.” That’s interesting to ponder today. Who is the friend of the bridegroom that the Lord is using to carry messages to his bride? It seems to me that prophets fulfill this role.
The new home was built under the direct personal supervision of the groom’s father. The father wanted everything regarding the bride’s new home to be as beautiful and perfect as it could be. The father was the sole judge of when the preparations were complete. Only when the father determined everything was ready did he gave permission for the son to claim his bride.
Preparation for the Wedding
There is much work to be done before the bridegroom returns. Although she doesn’t know the exact date and time, the bride knows she must be prepared for the exciting day. One of those areas of preparation was the ritual immersion at a mikvah, a bath drawn from natural or living waters. It had to be large enough to immerse oneself completely in preparation for holiness.
From the time of the bridegroom’s departure until he returned for her a year or so later, the bride placed a lamp in her window and kept it continually burning every night. It was a token of her faithfulness, and she lived for the day when her beloved would return for her. The focus of her life during this time revolved around the thoughts of her future happiness with her new husband.
The Double Invitation
When the “wedding house” was finished, the father finally gave the long-awaited permission. The groom called and gathered his friends and the Father sent servants with a second wedding announcement. The first invitation or calling had been sent when the betrothal began. The initial acceptance implied a firm commitment. The second invitation went to those who had committed.
In Jerusalem, if you planned to accept an invitation to attend a banquet, you made it known to others. No citizen of Jerusalem would attend a banquet without changing his buckle from the right to the left shoulder. This was so that another person should not extend to him an invitation that would be wasted. The guests who accepted the invitation were then duty-bound to appear.
The Bridegroom Cometh
It was now time for the wedding procession, a very noisy and joyful group consisting of the bridegroom, his servants, companions, and closest friends. They wound their way through the streets. The people of the city would gather and watch the wedding processions enter and depart through the special Gate of the Bridegroom. There was much singing, dancing and merriment.
The procession would usually come late at night. The Jewish people thought it romantic that the bridegroom would come suddenly, with an element of surprise. They knew the general week of his arrival, but never the exact day. When the procession nears the brides home, a messenger was sent ahead to give the shout, “The bridegroom cometh!” He would then arrive within a half hour.
The Bringing of the Lamp
The bride had only enough time to make a few final preparations. She gathered her already-packed honeymoon clothes and quickly dressed in her bridal gown. She had her traditional gift for the groom ready, a carefully prepared tallit or prayer shawl. Now came the final call, “The bridegroom cometh!” Immediately the group and the groom rushed in to find the bride.
After the father of the bride made sure he was the man with the contract, the father would stand aside and let the groom take the bride. The procession reversed course, lifting the bride up into a special chair and carrying her home. Four strong men were given the honor of carrying the bride, accompanied by torch-bearers. This was called “the bringing of the lamp,” meaning the bride.
Entering the New Home
The most important period of the marriage festivities was when the bride entered her new home. The bride and groom were sometimes crowned with real crowns or with garlands of roses, myrtle, or olive leaves. The parents uttered a traditional blessing upon the bride and groom and the guests repeated the expression of a wish for happiness and fruitfulness in their marriage.
After these blessings were recited, the bride and groom and all of the invited guests who carried their lights went in. The door was then shut and bolted because there was not enough room for all who would seek to enter. Even the invited guests who came late were left outside. To be late was unthinkable at such an important occasion and was considered a gross insult to the host.
Light is Our Contribution
There was great disappointment for those not prepared or on time for the marriage and wedding feast. This is why the parable of the ten virgins, or bridesmaids was so easily understood by the Jewish people. It was considered a religious duty to bring light when attending a wedding. Light was associated with marriage as a special metaphor for joy, lighting the father’s house for days.
To bring a lamp to the festivities was the responsibility of every guest and was considered his personal contribution to the joy of the event. The expression “outer darkness” takes on a new meaning when we realize those not admitted to the feast would suffer agony of being alone when everyone else was rejoicing together. How sad for the foolish virgins who were not prepared.
Conclusion and Recommendation
I could go on and on with things I have learned from this book. If you note the reviews on Amazon, you’ll see they are almost all rated five-star. Yes, it’s that good. At about 180 pages, I was able to read it in one day, basically an afternoon and evening. I simply could not put it down because I was filled with so many “ah-ha” moments as phrases took on new and real meaning.
My little review here only covered two chapters – four and five. There is so much more. I’ll include the table of contents below. I highly recommend this book. I give it five stars. It is more than just a good book. I believe it is imperative that we understand these things in order to be fully prepared for the events of the last days which are now upon us. The bridegroom cometh!
Table of Contents
Chapter One – Family Life in Israel
- Roles of men and women, religious training of children, and family loyalty
Chapter Two – The Marriage Proposal
- Finding a mate, fire, desirable personal qualities, negotiating the bride price
Chapter Three – The Bride’s Acceptance
- Ketubah, gift, ratify covenants, cup of wine, veil
Chapter Four – Preparing a Place
- Father’s supervision, bride’s preparations, double invitation, procession
Chapter Five – The Ten Bridesmaids
- Light, outer darkness, the father’s house, closing the door
Chapter Six – The Wedding Canopy
- Wedding garments, crown of glory, seven bridal blessings
Chapter Seven – Gardens and Fountains
- The sanctity of sexuality, scriptural euphemisms, spiritual views, wedding chamber
Chapter Eight – Food for Feasting
- Seven species, wedding song, party manners, etiquette
Chapter Nine – Song for the Bridegroom
- Prophetic principles, celebrating life stages, biblical prosperity, peace in the home
Chapter Ten – Spiritual Betrothal
- Christ paid the bride price, gift of the Sabbath, honoring his name
Chapter Eleven – Spiritual Preparation and Marriage
- The Comforter, Sabbath bride, cup of joy, knowing God, rending the veil
Chapter Twelve – The Imperative of Fruitfulness
- Bringing forth fruit, vessels, glory, holy places, brides in scripture
Source: http://latterdaycommentary.com/2013/0...
You’re not alone. Even though I have been a student of the scriptures all my life, I always said to myself, “Someday I’ll understand why the Lord would have one of his prophets marry a harlot. But for the life of me, it seems an awful mean trick to play on a man, knowing that she would leave him and go after her former lovers.” Well, that day has come. I now understand Hosea.
The Bride Waits Faithfully
The Lord desires to have a sacred and deeply spiritual bond with us, similar to the bond that exists between two very close people such as a husband and wife. He does not desire to be an unknown or distant God. He wants our relationship to be based on experiences that are closely shared, building a personal and intimate association. We are the bride. He is the bridegroom.
Like Hosea’s bride, we have played the harlot. We have all gone astray seeking after the ways of the world, when we should have been faithful as we promised when we entered into the wedding contract through baptism. In ancient Israel, after entering into the marriage contract, it was now time for the bridegroom to go and build a home for his bride. She waits for his sudden return.
Bride Price Paid with Blood
Understanding ancient Jewish marriage and family customs will help us understand the Savior. The people he taught were Jews. They understood the significance of why the bridegroom had to go away after negotiating for the bride, paying the bride price and entering into the contract. The bridesmaids, light, outer darkness, the father’s house and the closed door were all clear to them.
For us, it’s not so clear. That’s why Donna Nielsen’s book, Beloved Bridegroom is so essential to really understand the events that will take place when the Savior returns. He came and paid for us in the meridian of time with the price of His blood. He loves us and is beloved by those who know and understood what He did for us. It is now time for the Bridegroom to claim his bride.
The Father Determines the Time
While the bridegroom was away building the wedding chamber or “little mansion” for their honeymoon, if he had to communicate with the bride, he did so through the “friend of the bridegroom.” That’s interesting to ponder today. Who is the friend of the bridegroom that the Lord is using to carry messages to his bride? It seems to me that prophets fulfill this role.
The new home was built under the direct personal supervision of the groom’s father. The father wanted everything regarding the bride’s new home to be as beautiful and perfect as it could be. The father was the sole judge of when the preparations were complete. Only when the father determined everything was ready did he gave permission for the son to claim his bride.
Preparation for the Wedding
There is much work to be done before the bridegroom returns. Although she doesn’t know the exact date and time, the bride knows she must be prepared for the exciting day. One of those areas of preparation was the ritual immersion at a mikvah, a bath drawn from natural or living waters. It had to be large enough to immerse oneself completely in preparation for holiness.
From the time of the bridegroom’s departure until he returned for her a year or so later, the bride placed a lamp in her window and kept it continually burning every night. It was a token of her faithfulness, and she lived for the day when her beloved would return for her. The focus of her life during this time revolved around the thoughts of her future happiness with her new husband.
The Double Invitation
When the “wedding house” was finished, the father finally gave the long-awaited permission. The groom called and gathered his friends and the Father sent servants with a second wedding announcement. The first invitation or calling had been sent when the betrothal began. The initial acceptance implied a firm commitment. The second invitation went to those who had committed.
In Jerusalem, if you planned to accept an invitation to attend a banquet, you made it known to others. No citizen of Jerusalem would attend a banquet without changing his buckle from the right to the left shoulder. This was so that another person should not extend to him an invitation that would be wasted. The guests who accepted the invitation were then duty-bound to appear.
The Bridegroom Cometh
It was now time for the wedding procession, a very noisy and joyful group consisting of the bridegroom, his servants, companions, and closest friends. They wound their way through the streets. The people of the city would gather and watch the wedding processions enter and depart through the special Gate of the Bridegroom. There was much singing, dancing and merriment.
The procession would usually come late at night. The Jewish people thought it romantic that the bridegroom would come suddenly, with an element of surprise. They knew the general week of his arrival, but never the exact day. When the procession nears the brides home, a messenger was sent ahead to give the shout, “The bridegroom cometh!” He would then arrive within a half hour.
The Bringing of the Lamp
The bride had only enough time to make a few final preparations. She gathered her already-packed honeymoon clothes and quickly dressed in her bridal gown. She had her traditional gift for the groom ready, a carefully prepared tallit or prayer shawl. Now came the final call, “The bridegroom cometh!” Immediately the group and the groom rushed in to find the bride.
After the father of the bride made sure he was the man with the contract, the father would stand aside and let the groom take the bride. The procession reversed course, lifting the bride up into a special chair and carrying her home. Four strong men were given the honor of carrying the bride, accompanied by torch-bearers. This was called “the bringing of the lamp,” meaning the bride.
Entering the New Home
The most important period of the marriage festivities was when the bride entered her new home. The bride and groom were sometimes crowned with real crowns or with garlands of roses, myrtle, or olive leaves. The parents uttered a traditional blessing upon the bride and groom and the guests repeated the expression of a wish for happiness and fruitfulness in their marriage.
After these blessings were recited, the bride and groom and all of the invited guests who carried their lights went in. The door was then shut and bolted because there was not enough room for all who would seek to enter. Even the invited guests who came late were left outside. To be late was unthinkable at such an important occasion and was considered a gross insult to the host.
Light is Our Contribution
There was great disappointment for those not prepared or on time for the marriage and wedding feast. This is why the parable of the ten virgins, or bridesmaids was so easily understood by the Jewish people. It was considered a religious duty to bring light when attending a wedding. Light was associated with marriage as a special metaphor for joy, lighting the father’s house for days.
To bring a lamp to the festivities was the responsibility of every guest and was considered his personal contribution to the joy of the event. The expression “outer darkness” takes on a new meaning when we realize those not admitted to the feast would suffer agony of being alone when everyone else was rejoicing together. How sad for the foolish virgins who were not prepared.
Conclusion and Recommendation
I could go on and on with things I have learned from this book. If you note the reviews on Amazon, you’ll see they are almost all rated five-star. Yes, it’s that good. At about 180 pages, I was able to read it in one day, basically an afternoon and evening. I simply could not put it down because I was filled with so many “ah-ha” moments as phrases took on new and real meaning.
My little review here only covered two chapters – four and five. There is so much more. I’ll include the table of contents below. I highly recommend this book. I give it five stars. It is more than just a good book. I believe it is imperative that we understand these things in order to be fully prepared for the events of the last days which are now upon us. The bridegroom cometh!
Table of Contents
Chapter One – Family Life in Israel
- Roles of men and women, religious training of children, and family loyalty
Chapter Two – The Marriage Proposal
- Finding a mate, fire, desirable personal qualities, negotiating the bride price
Chapter Three – The Bride’s Acceptance
- Ketubah, gift, ratify covenants, cup of wine, veil
Chapter Four – Preparing a Place
- Father’s supervision, bride’s preparations, double invitation, procession
Chapter Five – The Ten Bridesmaids
- Light, outer darkness, the father’s house, closing the door
Chapter Six – The Wedding Canopy
- Wedding garments, crown of glory, seven bridal blessings
Chapter Seven – Gardens and Fountains
- The sanctity of sexuality, scriptural euphemisms, spiritual views, wedding chamber
Chapter Eight – Food for Feasting
- Seven species, wedding song, party manners, etiquette
Chapter Nine – Song for the Bridegroom
- Prophetic principles, celebrating life stages, biblical prosperity, peace in the home
Chapter Ten – Spiritual Betrothal
- Christ paid the bride price, gift of the Sabbath, honoring his name
Chapter Eleven – Spiritual Preparation and Marriage
- The Comforter, Sabbath bride, cup of joy, knowing God, rending the veil
Chapter Twelve – The Imperative of Fruitfulness
- Bringing forth fruit, vessels, glory, holy places, brides in scripture
Source: http://latterdaycommentary.com/2013/0...
April 23, 2022
Really enjoyed this book! It opened my eyes to the analogy in the scriptures of Christ as the bridegroom and Israel as the bride. The book takes an in depth look at Jewish symbolism and the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony and how they both support this analogy. I gave it 4 stars instead of 5 because something about the organization and flow of the book felt slightly disjointed, but I would still recommend it!
November 23, 2020
There were a lot of great comparisons to help understand Jewish culture and use that understanding to help liken the scriptures more to us. It was tricky to follow at times, when it seemed that the concepts bounced around a bit, but there was a lot of great information in there with biblical references and sources to help support.
July 3, 2023
I liked this book overall. Pros: readable language, interesting culture insights, scripture connections. Cons: no citations (only an overall bibliography at the end), several typos, and a tendency to force connections where I'm not sure they are. I still enjoyed this book, but I find it hard to recommend.
March 5, 2025
I loved this! God is so good at symbolism!
"A knowledge of biblical marriage imagery can greatly enrich our understanding of how God relates to us through covenants. Biblical covenant marriage imagery encompasses principles as diverse as Sabbath observance, the atonement, temple worship, and missionary of work. It literally begins with Adam and ends with Zion." (From the back cover of the book)
"A knowledge of biblical marriage imagery can greatly enrich our understanding of how God relates to us through covenants. Biblical covenant marriage imagery encompasses principles as diverse as Sabbath observance, the atonement, temple worship, and missionary of work. It literally begins with Adam and ends with Zion." (From the back cover of the book)
January 16, 2017
deep, thoughtful, thorough exploration of Jewish marriage and family culture and how it begins clearer and richer understanding of our relationship with Christ. powerful reverence tool when I was studying the old testament last year.
May 21, 2020
I loved this book! This well research, well sourced, book is a treasure. I had no idea Jewish culture was so sex positive (in marriage) and has such an open and supportive understanding of all aspects of intimacy in marriage. That is just one of the many treasures I gained from this book.
January 31, 2022
I loved reading this!! It was absolutely fascinating. It was really cool learning about Jewish wedding traditions, and very cool to see how a lot of that imagery is used in the Bible. There was so much beautiful symbolism!
July 24, 2022
I love this book! I learned so much and want to learn even more. Jewish culture is so fascinating and symbolic. Reading this book will make scripture study more meaningful and interesting, it has the potential to bless your marriage, and really teaches how Christ feels towards His people.
March 21, 2024
I really enjoyed and learned from the first half of the book. I thought the Jewish marriage customs really gave a great and meaningful dimension to one of the roles of the Savior. It made me do some pondering of my relationship with Him. The second half of the book did not engage me.
August 7, 2024
This book brought to light many things that made my understanding of the Old and New Testament make sense. I love all the knowledge I discovered as I read and I imagine I will continue to turn back to this book as a reference.
May 25, 2020
I’ve never read a book that gave me so much understanding of the scriptures or our ordinances and covenants. A new favorite of mine.
October 1, 2020
A great read to understand cutoms in the ancient church.
November 21, 2020
Beautiful!
This book has helped me to see the importance of my preparation for the Bridegroom. Filled with beautiful imagery and symbolism.
This book has helped me to see the importance of my preparation for the Bridegroom. Filled with beautiful imagery and symbolism.
January 7, 2023
Fascinating and educational.
Read
December 16, 2024Highly informative. I really enjoyed learning about the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony. It brings to light much of the imagery of the language of the Bible.
Not thrilled will the many typos.
Not thrilled will the many typos.
March 18, 2025
10/10⭐️
January 16, 2026
This was a very informative book about the symbols of Christ as a bridegroom. I loved the symbolism.
January 26, 2026
First half was much more interesting than the second
October 20, 2013
I think I have been reading this book for over a year, maybe just under as it is heavy on symbolism and cultural explanations. That said, it was worth a slow read. I would read a few pages or a chapter and then put the book down to think about it, read the scriptures cited in context, pray about it and read it again to see how I felt about it - whether I agreed or disagreed.
Some of my favorite points were the discussion on what "perfect" meant in ancient Judaism (faithful to covenants) versus our modern understanding (p. 99) and then a discussion of the power of the Holy Ghost, not only to comfort but to give a person a dynamic power to cope with our own life. (pp. 123-124)
Is this book the basis of my faith? Nope. It has helped me look more deeply at the messages of Christ in the scriptures and to understand the culture in which he, and those he taught and walked among, lived. It helped me to see in a new perspective how precious each of us is to Him no matter where we are or have been.
Some of my favorite points were the discussion on what "perfect" meant in ancient Judaism (faithful to covenants) versus our modern understanding (p. 99) and then a discussion of the power of the Holy Ghost, not only to comfort but to give a person a dynamic power to cope with our own life. (pp. 123-124)
Is this book the basis of my faith? Nope. It has helped me look more deeply at the messages of Christ in the scriptures and to understand the culture in which he, and those he taught and walked among, lived. It helped me to see in a new perspective how precious each of us is to Him no matter where we are or have been.
November 19, 2011
There were some parts to this book that were quite interesting. I learned a lot about the symbolism of ancient Jewish marriage customs. The purpose of marriage, how we should focus on our spouse, and the marriage ceremony are all very enlightening from an ancient Jewish standpoint. I think we could all be very enriched from their views. I enjoyed the explanations of the parable of the Ten Virgins and how the author broke down the information.
I am giving this book a two because, despite the interesting parts, there were a lot of non-interesting parts. There were many sections that I felt the author took a huge stretch. I am no Jewish scholar but how the author compared the heart and the womb made me very skeptical. This book was simply OK.
I did find a bit of humor. In Hebrew, the word "to know" is "yada" - meaning to have intimate experience with. Now that Seinfeld episode makes much more sense!
I am giving this book a two because, despite the interesting parts, there were a lot of non-interesting parts. There were many sections that I felt the author took a huge stretch. I am no Jewish scholar but how the author compared the heart and the womb made me very skeptical. This book was simply OK.
I did find a bit of humor. In Hebrew, the word "to know" is "yada" - meaning to have intimate experience with. Now that Seinfeld episode makes much more sense!
September 7, 2011
This book is amazing if you are interested in the Jewish tradition of marriage and it's symbolism in the bible. My husband and I read it together. It took us a while, since we just read together on Sundays, but we learned so much. I think what surprised me most is how everything (I mean everything) involved in the wedding means something or is a symbol for something (not unlike our very own temples--I shouldn't have been surprised). Also, that the scriptures so often use these things to explain something. If you know how a Jewish wedding goes, you would see the significance of the reference, but if you don't, you'll just keep reading, missing the point.
December 28, 2014
This book is a long explanation of the symbolism of Jesus Christ as the Bridegroom. It has excellent insights which I wish I could simply download into my brain, but the writing is dense with no real writer's voice, and I get tired of slogging through it.
I highly recommend this book if you are interested in learning more about Ancient Jewish marriage and family customs and how they symbolize Christ. For me, it is more of a reference book, than a book I can read on a daily basis--although I did read the majority of it.
I highly recommend this book if you are interested in learning more about Ancient Jewish marriage and family customs and how they symbolize Christ. For me, it is more of a reference book, than a book I can read on a daily basis--although I did read the majority of it.
December 5, 2020
Excellent presentation, wonderful depth
This is the best discussion on Jewish marriage and the way all their traditions and ceremonies tie into the gospel, the atonement and the relationship of Christ to us his children, I have yet to read. The author covers the subject using a challenging combination of references and in depth analysis. It is worthy of repeated study to assimilate the many areas of covered. I greatly enjoyed the increased understanding of the parable of the Ten Virgins.
This is the best discussion on Jewish marriage and the way all their traditions and ceremonies tie into the gospel, the atonement and the relationship of Christ to us his children, I have yet to read. The author covers the subject using a challenging combination of references and in depth analysis. It is worthy of repeated study to assimilate the many areas of covered. I greatly enjoyed the increased understanding of the parable of the Ten Virgins.
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