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I Am Change
They told her that her body belonged to men and her mind didn’t matter. They were wrong.
“What if I don’t want to marry?” Lillian held her breath. She had never said the words out loud. “Not want to marry?” Her aunt frowned. “What else would you do?”
Set in a Ugandan village, Lilian has learned to shrink herself to fit other people’s ideas of what a girl is. In her village a girl is not meant to be smarter than her brother. A girl is not meant to go to school or enjoy her body or decide who to marry. Especially if she is poor.
“What if I don’t want to marry?” Lillian held her breath. She had never said the words out loud. “Not want to marry?” Her aunt frowned. “What else would you do?”
Set in a Ugandan village, Lilian has learned to shrink herself to fit other people’s ideas of what a girl is. In her village a girl is not meant to be smarter than her brother. A girl is not meant to go to school or enjoy her body or decide who to marry. Especially if she is poor.
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First published August 1, 2019
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599 people want to read
About the author
Suzy Zail
21 books74 followersA Family lawyer in her past life, Suzy is now the bestselling author of more than 14 books for adults, teens and children. Suzy is best-known for her young adult novels, Inkflower, The Wrong Boy, Alexander Altmann A10567 and I am Change, stories that shine a light on injustice. She is also the founder of Give A Girl a Book, shipping more than 10,000 books (donated by school libraries and students) to girls in Africa who couldn’t otherwise afford them. Suzy's novels have won Reader's choice for Book of the Year for older readers, in the Children's Book Council of Australia Book of the Year Awards, been shortlisted for the Young Australians Best Book Awards and the U.K. Coventry Inspiration Book Awards and have been named an Outstanding International book by the United States Board on Books for Young People. Her books have been published in Australia, New Zealand, Europe, the U.S., Canada and the U.K. and are taught in secondary school History and English. Suzy lives in Melbourne Australia.
Visit her online at suzyzail.com.au and @authorsuzyzail
Visit her online at suzyzail.com.au and @authorsuzyzail
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
June 30, 2019
Trigger warnings: rape, domestic violence, female genital mutilation.
Lilian, a young girl growing up in rural Uganda, has big dreams. She's hungry to learn and plans to be the first person in her family to graduate primary school, hoping to one day be a teacher or an author. Unfortunately, Lilian's mother has other plans for her, viewing a good marriage as the only thing that can save her from a life of poverty. Though Lilian is fiercely intelligent, will she be strong enough to resist her mother's pressure and carve out the future she desires?
I Am Change isn't the type of book I would usually reach for. Generally, I read for pleasure and escape, so I tend to stick to fantasy. I Am Change is the opposite of that; it's gritty, intense and raw. Zail interviewed over 30 girls and spent time in Uganda to research for her novel, and her commitment shows, for the book often seems achingly real. As such, this book isn't an easy one to read. The women in Lilian's world are treated terribly and their existence revolves entirely around pleasing the men in their lives. There are also some very upsetting scenes, almost every woman in I Am Change is violated in some way. We see schoolgirls allowing boys to touch their breasts in exchange for basic stationary supplies, wives being forced to lick their kitchen floors after displeasing their husbands, and even a woman who chooses a life of prostitution to escape her family's attempts to force her to undergo a circumcision procedure. While many of the people around Lilian see this injustice and accept it, attempting to make the best of the situation, Lilian rages against ill treatment and tries to find a way to make her life better.
Zail tells readers that education is the way to escape injustice and poverty. This is an important and empowering message, and I hope the young women who read this book really take this lesson to heart. I Am Change is a powerful and deeply moving book that's certain to make readers cry.
Thank you to Walker Books for providing me with a review book!
Lilian, a young girl growing up in rural Uganda, has big dreams. She's hungry to learn and plans to be the first person in her family to graduate primary school, hoping to one day be a teacher or an author. Unfortunately, Lilian's mother has other plans for her, viewing a good marriage as the only thing that can save her from a life of poverty. Though Lilian is fiercely intelligent, will she be strong enough to resist her mother's pressure and carve out the future she desires?
I Am Change isn't the type of book I would usually reach for. Generally, I read for pleasure and escape, so I tend to stick to fantasy. I Am Change is the opposite of that; it's gritty, intense and raw. Zail interviewed over 30 girls and spent time in Uganda to research for her novel, and her commitment shows, for the book often seems achingly real. As such, this book isn't an easy one to read. The women in Lilian's world are treated terribly and their existence revolves entirely around pleasing the men in their lives. There are also some very upsetting scenes, almost every woman in I Am Change is violated in some way. We see schoolgirls allowing boys to touch their breasts in exchange for basic stationary supplies, wives being forced to lick their kitchen floors after displeasing their husbands, and even a woman who chooses a life of prostitution to escape her family's attempts to force her to undergo a circumcision procedure. While many of the people around Lilian see this injustice and accept it, attempting to make the best of the situation, Lilian rages against ill treatment and tries to find a way to make her life better.
Zail tells readers that education is the way to escape injustice and poverty. This is an important and empowering message, and I hope the young women who read this book really take this lesson to heart. I Am Change is a powerful and deeply moving book that's certain to make readers cry.
Thank you to Walker Books for providing me with a review book!
August 24, 2019
Thank you so much to Walker Books Australia for providing me with a copy of I Am Change, in exchange for an honest review.
Lillian lives in a village where girls are expected to be married as a teenager, to a man their parent's select, and live the rest of their lives producing sons and looking after their husbands. They are not expected, or encouraged, to go to school. Why would their families waste money on sending them to school when they don't require an education?
But Lillian desperately wants to be a writer or a teacher. She can't help having dreams, even if they seem like impossible ones.
This was such a powerful and beautifully written book. It was harrowing to watch such a strong character be put in situations that felt so utterly hopeless, and at times the subject matter had me feeling true rage (although, if anyone didn't feel true rage at the rights not afforded to the girls in this book, I would be gravely disappointed).
I Am Change was formed from the true accounts of 30 Ugandan girls who shared their stories with the author, and Suzy Zail did not shy away from the graphic detail of their difficult lives. You'll find subjects such as child brides, female genital mutilation, rape and domestic violence here. You'll see school girls trading inappropriate touches for pens and paper they need, girls forced to take a back seat to the men in their family, even forgoing food when they are hungry to ensure their brothers get the most to eat. Most of the villagers, and even the girls themselves, accept their fate as just part of life, but Lillian uses her hopes and dreams to find the courage to rise up and try to fight against the outdated traditions and treatment of women. The subject matter meant this was not an easy book to read, but it was thought provoking and inspiring, while using language that had me completely immersed in the story. I'd highly recommend the book to everyone. I really didn't want to put it down.
MY BLOG ~ INSTAGRAM
Lillian lives in a village where girls are expected to be married as a teenager, to a man their parent's select, and live the rest of their lives producing sons and looking after their husbands. They are not expected, or encouraged, to go to school. Why would their families waste money on sending them to school when they don't require an education?
But Lillian desperately wants to be a writer or a teacher. She can't help having dreams, even if they seem like impossible ones.
This was such a powerful and beautifully written book. It was harrowing to watch such a strong character be put in situations that felt so utterly hopeless, and at times the subject matter had me feeling true rage (although, if anyone didn't feel true rage at the rights not afforded to the girls in this book, I would be gravely disappointed).
I Am Change was formed from the true accounts of 30 Ugandan girls who shared their stories with the author, and Suzy Zail did not shy away from the graphic detail of their difficult lives. You'll find subjects such as child brides, female genital mutilation, rape and domestic violence here. You'll see school girls trading inappropriate touches for pens and paper they need, girls forced to take a back seat to the men in their family, even forgoing food when they are hungry to ensure their brothers get the most to eat. Most of the villagers, and even the girls themselves, accept their fate as just part of life, but Lillian uses her hopes and dreams to find the courage to rise up and try to fight against the outdated traditions and treatment of women. The subject matter meant this was not an easy book to read, but it was thought provoking and inspiring, while using language that had me completely immersed in the story. I'd highly recommend the book to everyone. I really didn't want to put it down.
MY BLOG ~ INSTAGRAM
November 17, 2019
Lilian has the misfortune to be born a girl in a Ugandan village. All she wants to do is go to school, complete her education and become a teacher or maybe an author. She has these big dreams but because she’s female, it’s likely she’ll be married off in her teens, not long after she becomes a ‘woman’. Her older brother experiences so much more freedom than she does and is waited on hand and foot, experiencing the sort of privilege Lilian can only dream about.
Fortunately for Lilian, she has a father that understands her desire to learn and even though things are hard and he spends most of his time working away, he tries hard to come up with the money for Lilian’s school fees so that she can continue to learn. Even though there are people in her life who encourage her, like her father, like a female teacher at school, Lilian still faces hardships as a young female student at school in Uganda.
This book is a nice little reality check, for how much I take my education for granted. That school, which was something that I just had to do, almost like a chore most of the time, is something that other kids actually dream about getting to do. Lilian is so desperate to go to school, it seems like such a simple thing. But in her world, money for education is spent on boys so that they might one day provide for a wife and raise a family. Girls get married and have their own children, they don’t need such extravagances. Lilian’s mother is a woman who has seen some hard times and she’s determined to preserve her culture and instruct Lilian so that she may as well. She doesn’t understand her daughter, who dreams of something more. Who has no interest in getting married, especially not to someone she doesn’t know and love. Her life is marked by tragedy – the disappearance of one of her older sisters, who like Lilian, did not want marriage and the death of a younger sister, who did not make it past infancy. These events colour her mother’s treatment of her and Lilian’s despair of ever being seen and understood by her mother is so terribly sad at times.
This book was inspired by the stories of 30 real Ugandan girls, who spoke with the author of their experiences. It is those experiences that are used to shape Lilian’s story, of a girl who wants to learn, and the things which girls in Uganda experience. Purity is worshipped and Lilian’s mother is militant about telling her to not ever talk to boys, or let boys look at her. Girls can have their reputations ruined – they alone endure the fallout and some of them are abused by men who are twice their age, taking liberties in exchange for offering starving girls some extra food. One of Lilian’s school friends swaps favours for stationery from rich boys and offers to help ‘hook Lilian up’ in the same way. But Lilian isn’t interested in that, she has a crush on one of her brother’s friends and dreams of them being together one day, him a doctor and her a respected author. She is sure he will be different to others, who expect their wives to stay at home and cook and clean and tend the children that arrive, perpetuating the cycle that Lilian longs to escape.
So much value is placed on marrying Lilian off at what is considered the “right” time – when she’s still young enough to attract a high bride price. She will essentially still be a young teen, fourteen or fifteen years old. The would-be grooms are generally much older, as much as twice the girl’s age. Marrying before sixteen is illegal in Uganda but like several other things in this novel, there appears ways around it. Lilian is taken to her aunt to learn how to please a man and the inference seems to be that Lilian’s aunt will be in the room her first time, to make sure she’s taken her lessons well and that she can provide instruction if need be. Which is horrific in and of itself but in Lilian’s aunt’s day, the aunt would have sex with her new groom in front of her and show her exactly how it was done. There’s not a single bit of emphasis on how a new groom must please his wife and it seems the best thing Lilian can hope for is a husband who at least doesn’t beat her. Every single time she kind of gets a ‘win’ in her determination to finish school, it ends up being one step forward and two steps back.
Imagine fighting to go to school and then when you win the fight, having to spend a week out of every month at home, because you can’t go when you have your period. They can’t afford proper sanitary napkins or the like and many girls use leaves. Apparently in their culture it appears to be terribly bad if boys or men catch even a glimpse of leaked menstrual blood and so the girls spend the time they have their periods at home, missing out on almost a quarter of the learning. It makes it difficult for them to keep up with the male students, which would seem to just further perpetuate the divide. Girls also leave as they get married, leaving the numbers very unbalanced. For girls like Lilian, completing her education isn’t just about finding the money, which is difficult enough in itself, meaning her father must work long hours far from home. It’s also about overcoming cultural expectations, keeping herself strong against the pressure to marry.
I really loved the experience of reading this book. It’s made me search out the stories of other women and girls from Uganda. This book also includes a foreword from one of the women the author met with, who told her story which is incredible. Especially about how she feels, seeing a story she recognises and relates to, on paper.
This is wonderful, confronting, amazing, heartbreaking in some parts but also incredibly feel good in other parts. It’s a huge rollercoaster ride of a book.
Fortunately for Lilian, she has a father that understands her desire to learn and even though things are hard and he spends most of his time working away, he tries hard to come up with the money for Lilian’s school fees so that she can continue to learn. Even though there are people in her life who encourage her, like her father, like a female teacher at school, Lilian still faces hardships as a young female student at school in Uganda.
This book is a nice little reality check, for how much I take my education for granted. That school, which was something that I just had to do, almost like a chore most of the time, is something that other kids actually dream about getting to do. Lilian is so desperate to go to school, it seems like such a simple thing. But in her world, money for education is spent on boys so that they might one day provide for a wife and raise a family. Girls get married and have their own children, they don’t need such extravagances. Lilian’s mother is a woman who has seen some hard times and she’s determined to preserve her culture and instruct Lilian so that she may as well. She doesn’t understand her daughter, who dreams of something more. Who has no interest in getting married, especially not to someone she doesn’t know and love. Her life is marked by tragedy – the disappearance of one of her older sisters, who like Lilian, did not want marriage and the death of a younger sister, who did not make it past infancy. These events colour her mother’s treatment of her and Lilian’s despair of ever being seen and understood by her mother is so terribly sad at times.
This book was inspired by the stories of 30 real Ugandan girls, who spoke with the author of their experiences. It is those experiences that are used to shape Lilian’s story, of a girl who wants to learn, and the things which girls in Uganda experience. Purity is worshipped and Lilian’s mother is militant about telling her to not ever talk to boys, or let boys look at her. Girls can have their reputations ruined – they alone endure the fallout and some of them are abused by men who are twice their age, taking liberties in exchange for offering starving girls some extra food. One of Lilian’s school friends swaps favours for stationery from rich boys and offers to help ‘hook Lilian up’ in the same way. But Lilian isn’t interested in that, she has a crush on one of her brother’s friends and dreams of them being together one day, him a doctor and her a respected author. She is sure he will be different to others, who expect their wives to stay at home and cook and clean and tend the children that arrive, perpetuating the cycle that Lilian longs to escape.
So much value is placed on marrying Lilian off at what is considered the “right” time – when she’s still young enough to attract a high bride price. She will essentially still be a young teen, fourteen or fifteen years old. The would-be grooms are generally much older, as much as twice the girl’s age. Marrying before sixteen is illegal in Uganda but like several other things in this novel, there appears ways around it. Lilian is taken to her aunt to learn how to please a man and the inference seems to be that Lilian’s aunt will be in the room her first time, to make sure she’s taken her lessons well and that she can provide instruction if need be. Which is horrific in and of itself but in Lilian’s aunt’s day, the aunt would have sex with her new groom in front of her and show her exactly how it was done. There’s not a single bit of emphasis on how a new groom must please his wife and it seems the best thing Lilian can hope for is a husband who at least doesn’t beat her. Every single time she kind of gets a ‘win’ in her determination to finish school, it ends up being one step forward and two steps back.
Imagine fighting to go to school and then when you win the fight, having to spend a week out of every month at home, because you can’t go when you have your period. They can’t afford proper sanitary napkins or the like and many girls use leaves. Apparently in their culture it appears to be terribly bad if boys or men catch even a glimpse of leaked menstrual blood and so the girls spend the time they have their periods at home, missing out on almost a quarter of the learning. It makes it difficult for them to keep up with the male students, which would seem to just further perpetuate the divide. Girls also leave as they get married, leaving the numbers very unbalanced. For girls like Lilian, completing her education isn’t just about finding the money, which is difficult enough in itself, meaning her father must work long hours far from home. It’s also about overcoming cultural expectations, keeping herself strong against the pressure to marry.
I really loved the experience of reading this book. It’s made me search out the stories of other women and girls from Uganda. This book also includes a foreword from one of the women the author met with, who told her story which is incredible. Especially about how she feels, seeing a story she recognises and relates to, on paper.
This is wonderful, confronting, amazing, heartbreaking in some parts but also incredibly feel good in other parts. It’s a huge rollercoaster ride of a book.
March 29, 2020
Similarly to some readers, I find it difficult to read books like this when they are written from a presumed middle-class white perspective. However, seeing what Suzy Zail does as a writer and activist, as well as noting her recognition of privilege in the book's acknowledgement's eases this. You can see that Zail is writing this to begin a cycle of change, to encourage girls much like Lilian to use their words and advocate for change.
"No wonder boys do better at school, Lillian thought, they walk into class with empty heads. Ours are already full" (45).
The story follows Lilian, who is Sabiny and lives in Uganda. Lilian is forced to follow her mother's demands, preaches like 'don't walk at night' and 'you will get married soon.' But all Lilian wants is to learn, to be a writer, a teacher. She excels in her classes and begins to move up through the ranks quickly, but income is short. Her father does what he can to ensure she can have an education.
Within the story, we see a number of the characters have to accept different changes and tasks to ensure the education of one girl in a culture that sees women as wives. It's complicated and tricky and reflections the many real life experiences of young girls and women forced into relationships, onto the streets and under the genital mutilating knives.
"So you see, a thing as small as a bee or an ant," her father held his fingers a whisker apart, "can be more powerful than an elephant" (125).
Lilian learns that it takes a community to make change, but just one person to begin it. This is a story of her using her brains and her experiences to help herself and her family. It is by far one of the most important books out there right now.
This book contains references to and stories about: sexual abuse, child sexual abuse, child marriages, prostitution and genital mutiliation.
"No wonder boys do better at school, Lillian thought, they walk into class with empty heads. Ours are already full" (45).
The story follows Lilian, who is Sabiny and lives in Uganda. Lilian is forced to follow her mother's demands, preaches like 'don't walk at night' and 'you will get married soon.' But all Lilian wants is to learn, to be a writer, a teacher. She excels in her classes and begins to move up through the ranks quickly, but income is short. Her father does what he can to ensure she can have an education.
Within the story, we see a number of the characters have to accept different changes and tasks to ensure the education of one girl in a culture that sees women as wives. It's complicated and tricky and reflections the many real life experiences of young girls and women forced into relationships, onto the streets and under the genital mutilating knives.
"So you see, a thing as small as a bee or an ant," her father held his fingers a whisker apart, "can be more powerful than an elephant" (125).
Lilian learns that it takes a community to make change, but just one person to begin it. This is a story of her using her brains and her experiences to help herself and her family. It is by far one of the most important books out there right now.
This book contains references to and stories about: sexual abuse, child sexual abuse, child marriages, prostitution and genital mutiliation.
June 24, 2019
I Am Change is inspiring.
Usually this isn’t the type of book that I would pick up. The synopsis didn’t grab me and the book is pink (I know… I’m fussy!!) I was however blown away, which I did really enjoy!
I Am Change is inspired by young Ugandan woman and the struggle and hardship that they have to endure. Not only as people that are poor and struggling in life but as woman. The start of the book dives in to young marriage and how woman must learn how to please a man. (When really men need to be educated on how to please a woman but that’s a whole bucket of fish we can fry up later)
Lillian our young character doesn’t want to be forced to marry someone she doesn’t love, nor care about. Lillian wants to focus on her education and dreams of becoming a writer.
I loved the writing. Thought it was written from a young woman’s perspective, it didn’t try and dull it down and be narrated by a child. But instead stuck to a mature narration that added value to the story.
This story isn’t one that you can easily pick up and read. It is one that will force you to open your eyes to the situations that woman face around the world and be grateful for what you have and how lucky you are. This is an important story and I implore you to read it.
Usually this isn’t the type of book that I would pick up. The synopsis didn’t grab me and the book is pink (I know… I’m fussy!!) I was however blown away, which I did really enjoy!
I Am Change is inspired by young Ugandan woman and the struggle and hardship that they have to endure. Not only as people that are poor and struggling in life but as woman. The start of the book dives in to young marriage and how woman must learn how to please a man. (When really men need to be educated on how to please a woman but that’s a whole bucket of fish we can fry up later)
Lillian our young character doesn’t want to be forced to marry someone she doesn’t love, nor care about. Lillian wants to focus on her education and dreams of becoming a writer.
I loved the writing. Thought it was written from a young woman’s perspective, it didn’t try and dull it down and be narrated by a child. But instead stuck to a mature narration that added value to the story.
This story isn’t one that you can easily pick up and read. It is one that will force you to open your eyes to the situations that woman face around the world and be grateful for what you have and how lucky you are. This is an important story and I implore you to read it.
August 14, 2019
Oh wow. I have not read a book this powerful and eye-opening since reading Waris Diri's "Desert flower"almost 20 years ago. And sadly, some things have not changed in that time. In many parts of the world, not just Africa, girls are still being denied an education, treated as servants within their own families, forced into marriages with older men and forced to endure the horrors of female genital mutilation.
Suzy Zail has done a BRILLIANT job of telling the fictitious yet HIGHLY believable story of 13 year old Ugandan Lilian. Zail (I really want to call her Suzy but I tell my students that you don't know these people so you don't use their first names...) researched the topic relentlessly, speaking to 30 young Ugandan women about their lives, resulting in a story that reads like a biography. It's not the type of book that I would normally pick up - I'm more of a mystery-suspense, contemporary romance, occasional fantasy/Sci-Fi/dystopian reader but the cover is compelling, the blurb is compelling and I had trouble putting the book down to.. you know... cook, eat, sleep and go to work. Definitely one for older teenage readers, particularly girls who want to make a difference / want to see change / want to make change happen / want to be change.
Suzy Zail has done a BRILLIANT job of telling the fictitious yet HIGHLY believable story of 13 year old Ugandan Lilian. Zail (I really want to call her Suzy but I tell my students that you don't know these people so you don't use their first names...) researched the topic relentlessly, speaking to 30 young Ugandan women about their lives, resulting in a story that reads like a biography. It's not the type of book that I would normally pick up - I'm more of a mystery-suspense, contemporary romance, occasional fantasy/Sci-Fi/dystopian reader but the cover is compelling, the blurb is compelling and I had trouble putting the book down to.. you know... cook, eat, sleep and go to work. Definitely one for older teenage readers, particularly girls who want to make a difference / want to see change / want to make change happen / want to be change.
November 3, 2019
My daughter wanted to borrow this from the school library but needed my consent, as it was a 16+ book and she is not quite 13. So I read it on the weekend before deciding if I was comfortable with her reading it.
This story was brilliant. It had some very confronting topics, however; they are explained and worded in a way which would be easy for a young person to understand. It makes me incredibly sad to know that the things described in this novel still happen to young girls today. It was heartbreaking and yet also uplifting to know that slowly, things are beginning to change.
I will be letting my daughter read this. I think a lot of it will be quite shocking to her, but I'm confident she is mature enough to handle it and we can discuss the various topics together. I feel it's important for young people to learn about other cultures and to have global awareness. To know that bad things can and do still happen, but we can help to create change.
This story was brilliant. It had some very confronting topics, however; they are explained and worded in a way which would be easy for a young person to understand. It makes me incredibly sad to know that the things described in this novel still happen to young girls today. It was heartbreaking and yet also uplifting to know that slowly, things are beginning to change.
I will be letting my daughter read this. I think a lot of it will be quite shocking to her, but I'm confident she is mature enough to handle it and we can discuss the various topics together. I feel it's important for young people to learn about other cultures and to have global awareness. To know that bad things can and do still happen, but we can help to create change.
August 20, 2019
This book was beautiful.
I am at a loss for words for how absolutely exquisite it was. The way it was written. The layers of stories of all the girls.
Full review to come on my blog tour stop this Friday! Subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss it!
5/5
I am at a loss for words for how absolutely exquisite it was. The way it was written. The layers of stories of all the girls.
Full review to come on my blog tour stop this Friday! Subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss it!
5/5
August 16, 2019
From the minute you open the cover of this book, you will be hooked, mesmerised by the sheer different world that Lilian and her family live in. Zail has written a masterpiece, inspired by women who have lived through similar situations and have found their own voices to share their stories with the world.
Suzy Zail is a master story teller, one that will have you so entranced in this tale of change that you won’t know what day or time it is, when you finish reading. Zail has a way of writing with such honesty and sincerity, that you believe every word Lilian says or writes, that you feel her emotion leaping from the page, that you live through her horrors with her. The pacing is perfect throughout the title, it flows with the soft cadence of a stream, it allows you to indulge in the lilt of the language used and fully process it as you read.
I Am Change, is the book that we needed, the book we knew we needed, but weren’t really sure when it was going to come. It is passionate, honest, raw and gritty. It will make you cry and make you laugh, make you sigh and shout in frustration. It is a conversation starter, it will make you want to talk about women’s rights, about the things that women in Western worlds take for granted and what you can do to help those who don’t have the opportunity or chances to make a better life for themselves.
Thank you so much to Walker Books for sending me a review copy.
If you are interested in my longer review please pop over to my blog www.bookishintoxicationwrites.com
Suzy Zail is a master story teller, one that will have you so entranced in this tale of change that you won’t know what day or time it is, when you finish reading. Zail has a way of writing with such honesty and sincerity, that you believe every word Lilian says or writes, that you feel her emotion leaping from the page, that you live through her horrors with her. The pacing is perfect throughout the title, it flows with the soft cadence of a stream, it allows you to indulge in the lilt of the language used and fully process it as you read.
I Am Change, is the book that we needed, the book we knew we needed, but weren’t really sure when it was going to come. It is passionate, honest, raw and gritty. It will make you cry and make you laugh, make you sigh and shout in frustration. It is a conversation starter, it will make you want to talk about women’s rights, about the things that women in Western worlds take for granted and what you can do to help those who don’t have the opportunity or chances to make a better life for themselves.
Thank you so much to Walker Books for sending me a review copy.
If you are interested in my longer review please pop over to my blog www.bookishintoxicationwrites.com
July 22, 2023
I can’t understand why book tok isn’t hyping up books like “I am change” more. This story is weaved from the true accounts of thirty girls who’ve lived through the horrors and injustices that Lilian - the main character, experiences. It is extremely profound, personal and challenging and it affected me so much more than I expected it to. Lilians life is so different to anything I could imagine, it had me sob-crying and I don’t even know at what point the tears started. Please read “I am change”, it is the opposite of sugar coated and highlighted how much I myself take for granted in society and my home.
August 13, 2019
Review to come on my posting date of the AusYABloggers blog tour of this book. A huge thank you to Walker Books Australia for providing me with a copy of this book and AusYABloggers for having me on the tour!
January 5, 2020
TRIGGER WARNINGS for this book: abuse, sexual assualt warning, non-consensual bodily mutilation, sexism, misogyny.
I Am Change is not a novel that I would categorise as a plot-heavy novel, I would think it would be more character-based and I think one of the main reasons why I adore this book is because of the main character, Lilian. The narrative is meant to immerse the reader in the everyday life of Lilian as she comes of age - her family, her culture, her traditions, her friends, her schooling. You are at her side when she realises the purpose of women in her culture, you are with her when her heartbreaks, when she fights for her education, fights for her suvivial; the story is there to make you angry, to make you cry, to confront your privilege or to see yourself and your story in the character of Lilian. The pacing of the narrative does get slow, but as a result of the nature of what this book talks about, I think a slow paced book is much more in line with the story. I say this because it is a book that you will find yourself having to put down, just for a moment, because of how emotionally intense it can become. For me, it was anger, frustration and resentment towards the very oppressive and suppressive patriarchal system that Lilian was subjected to. So much so, that I cried for and with Lilian and the girls of the story and the girls and women who live through this everyday. It also talks about the importance of representation in, not only fiction, but in reality. I won't go into detail concerning what happens in the book, as I really want as many people to read this as possible, so I will not be spoiling it at all. However, I do want to talk about Lilian for a moment.
Lilian, for me, is what I consider to be the epitome of a strong female character. That phrase gets thrown around alot, espeically now, in terms of young adult literature. Which, IT'S ABOUT TIME, but I also think that as a result, a lot of the female protagonists that exist within young adult literature, are the same. Lilian breaks the mold and is one of the most powerful characters at the moment in YA. I say this because Lilian is human, in every sense of the word. Her strength is in her persistence, in her fear, in her doubts, in the way that she grows as a woman, how she loves her family but wants nothing more than to be be bigger than just her village. I just adored her so much and I found her voice to be incredibly profound and one that did not sugarcoat anything at all.
As a result of this, I will quickly list some trigger warnings even though I did put them in the beginning of this post, but I just want to emphasise it to you. This is an intense novel, tackling extremely important issues but it might be too much for some. There is abuse, both domestic and child as well as physical, psychological, emotional and financial abuse, there is sexual assualt warning, non-consensual bodily mutilation, sexism, misogyny, and relationships with extreme age gaps. They are the warnings I remember off the top of my head, but please if any of these are too confronting, please don't read it, you're mental health is much more important.
I found I am Change by Suzy Zail to be so amazing to read, I adored the way it was written because it was raw and engaged with so many real issues that women and girls face. It highlights the power of education and the power of women. I give it a glowing 5 out of 5 stars and I don't think I will ever stop talking about this book.
I Am Change is not a novel that I would categorise as a plot-heavy novel, I would think it would be more character-based and I think one of the main reasons why I adore this book is because of the main character, Lilian. The narrative is meant to immerse the reader in the everyday life of Lilian as she comes of age - her family, her culture, her traditions, her friends, her schooling. You are at her side when she realises the purpose of women in her culture, you are with her when her heartbreaks, when she fights for her education, fights for her suvivial; the story is there to make you angry, to make you cry, to confront your privilege or to see yourself and your story in the character of Lilian. The pacing of the narrative does get slow, but as a result of the nature of what this book talks about, I think a slow paced book is much more in line with the story. I say this because it is a book that you will find yourself having to put down, just for a moment, because of how emotionally intense it can become. For me, it was anger, frustration and resentment towards the very oppressive and suppressive patriarchal system that Lilian was subjected to. So much so, that I cried for and with Lilian and the girls of the story and the girls and women who live through this everyday. It also talks about the importance of representation in, not only fiction, but in reality. I won't go into detail concerning what happens in the book, as I really want as many people to read this as possible, so I will not be spoiling it at all. However, I do want to talk about Lilian for a moment.
Lilian, for me, is what I consider to be the epitome of a strong female character. That phrase gets thrown around alot, espeically now, in terms of young adult literature. Which, IT'S ABOUT TIME, but I also think that as a result, a lot of the female protagonists that exist within young adult literature, are the same. Lilian breaks the mold and is one of the most powerful characters at the moment in YA. I say this because Lilian is human, in every sense of the word. Her strength is in her persistence, in her fear, in her doubts, in the way that she grows as a woman, how she loves her family but wants nothing more than to be be bigger than just her village. I just adored her so much and I found her voice to be incredibly profound and one that did not sugarcoat anything at all.
As a result of this, I will quickly list some trigger warnings even though I did put them in the beginning of this post, but I just want to emphasise it to you. This is an intense novel, tackling extremely important issues but it might be too much for some. There is abuse, both domestic and child as well as physical, psychological, emotional and financial abuse, there is sexual assualt warning, non-consensual bodily mutilation, sexism, misogyny, and relationships with extreme age gaps. They are the warnings I remember off the top of my head, but please if any of these are too confronting, please don't read it, you're mental health is much more important.
I found I am Change by Suzy Zail to be so amazing to read, I adored the way it was written because it was raw and engaged with so many real issues that women and girls face. It highlights the power of education and the power of women. I give it a glowing 5 out of 5 stars and I don't think I will ever stop talking about this book.
May 20, 2020
Those books whose characters stay with you long after you’ve read them...this is one of them. Truly special!
August 22, 2019
I Am Change is a powerful narrative inspired by true accounts of young Ugandan women. This book is the perfect blend of harrowing mixed with hope - it’s definitely not all smooth sailing however you are never left feeling entirely defeated, there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.
“Don’t let what you cannot do rid you of what you can”
This is definitely a character driven story and the main character is just so beautifully strong. Lilian fights for her worth, every single day. She fights to go to school, she fights to better her life and pursue her dreams - even amongst the constant oppression that the females in her village face (though let’s be honest this is happening in most villages). We are constantly told that being female is never enough. We can never amount to anything more than being a wife, a mother and a homemaker. Men don’t have to try even a fraction as hard, yet can still achieve what they want. They don’t have to ask and they get. If they don’t get then they’ll take.
This book is quite heavy in graphic details and doesn’t shy away from real world issues (female genital mutilation, child brides and rape), however Suzy Zail has approached the topics with such care that it doesn’t seem exploitative. You can tell that Suzy has done her research and she genuinely cares about the story she is writing.
In the Acknowledgements, Zail thanks the thirty brave Ugandan girls who opened up their lives and their intimate moments to Zail and trusted that she would tell their truth with compassion and grace. Zail also had a lady by the name of Namukasa Nusula Sarah assist with ensuring that everything was written with authenticity and stayed true. I believe it is the combination of these two things mixed with an easy to read writing style which makes this book one of the most important and thought provoking books of the year for me.
Thank you to Walker Books Australia, Black Dog Books and #AusYABloggers for providing me a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The main character in this book is a reflection of true people and true stories. If you would like to assist with helping to get girls into schools and keep them there, please consider go to the below link and consider donating:
mycause.com.au/page/106767
“Don’t let what you cannot do rid you of what you can”
This is definitely a character driven story and the main character is just so beautifully strong. Lilian fights for her worth, every single day. She fights to go to school, she fights to better her life and pursue her dreams - even amongst the constant oppression that the females in her village face (though let’s be honest this is happening in most villages). We are constantly told that being female is never enough. We can never amount to anything more than being a wife, a mother and a homemaker. Men don’t have to try even a fraction as hard, yet can still achieve what they want. They don’t have to ask and they get. If they don’t get then they’ll take.
This book is quite heavy in graphic details and doesn’t shy away from real world issues (female genital mutilation, child brides and rape), however Suzy Zail has approached the topics with such care that it doesn’t seem exploitative. You can tell that Suzy has done her research and she genuinely cares about the story she is writing.
In the Acknowledgements, Zail thanks the thirty brave Ugandan girls who opened up their lives and their intimate moments to Zail and trusted that she would tell their truth with compassion and grace. Zail also had a lady by the name of Namukasa Nusula Sarah assist with ensuring that everything was written with authenticity and stayed true. I believe it is the combination of these two things mixed with an easy to read writing style which makes this book one of the most important and thought provoking books of the year for me.
Thank you to Walker Books Australia, Black Dog Books and #AusYABloggers for providing me a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The main character in this book is a reflection of true people and true stories. If you would like to assist with helping to get girls into schools and keep them there, please consider go to the below link and consider donating:
mycause.com.au/page/106767
June 3, 2019
This review and others like it can be found on my website: www.readingsumpton.com
RRP: $19.99 AUD
Publication Date: August 2019
"Men don't marry smart women" her mother said, snuffing out the fire. "Especially woman who are smarter than them." She stared at the damp page on Lilians lap. "Just because you can draw those lines and dots, doesn't mean your dreams will come true."
If you do one thing today, make it buying this book and then devouring it whole.
I Am Change was inspired by and written in consultation with young Ugandan women. It tells the story of the fierce Lilian! An incredibly strong, intelligent young girl, navigating her way into womanhood and through the harsh reality of what life is like for young girls in Uganda. Lilian does not want to be forced to marry someone she does not love and bear him children, she wants to finish school and become a writer. She want to go to university and forge her own path! She wants girls to have a voice and for them to be treated as equals in a world so overpowered by men.
At times, this was a hard story to read. Not because the words didn't flow or the pacing was off. The writing was, in fact, rather wonderful. It was a hard story to read, because it's a true story for so many young girls in Uganda. But as hard as it was to read, I feel like it's a story that needed telling.
Lilians story was inspired by 30 different Ugandan women, which made the characters in this book feel very real. It was both incredible, and at times, disheartening getting to know the culture that shaped these women. I do have to say that this book could be slightly distressing for some readers as it covers some very intense topics such as rape, female genital mutilation, child marriage and extreme poverty.
The juxtaposition between the extremely wealthy and the extremely poor was very jarring to read, but one thing that stood out to me, was the fact that it didn't matter whether these girls/women were rich or poor, they were consider secondary to the men. They were no good for anything but making babies and keeping their mouths shut. I really enjoyed reading Lilian's journey into feminism and watching her character growth as she learned her worth.
I Am Change was a highly emotional read that had me in tears at times. It made me look at my own daughter, and think of all the things that she is capable of and all the things she has the opportunity to do that we, a lot of the time, take for granted. This was a powerful, feminist read and I highly recommend everybody buy a copy and delve into Lilians story. It's an important one.
Thank you so much to Walker Books for sending me a copy of I Am Change in exchange for an honest review.
RRP: $19.99 AUD
Publication Date: August 2019
"Men don't marry smart women" her mother said, snuffing out the fire. "Especially woman who are smarter than them." She stared at the damp page on Lilians lap. "Just because you can draw those lines and dots, doesn't mean your dreams will come true."
If you do one thing today, make it buying this book and then devouring it whole.
I Am Change was inspired by and written in consultation with young Ugandan women. It tells the story of the fierce Lilian! An incredibly strong, intelligent young girl, navigating her way into womanhood and through the harsh reality of what life is like for young girls in Uganda. Lilian does not want to be forced to marry someone she does not love and bear him children, she wants to finish school and become a writer. She want to go to university and forge her own path! She wants girls to have a voice and for them to be treated as equals in a world so overpowered by men.
At times, this was a hard story to read. Not because the words didn't flow or the pacing was off. The writing was, in fact, rather wonderful. It was a hard story to read, because it's a true story for so many young girls in Uganda. But as hard as it was to read, I feel like it's a story that needed telling.
Lilians story was inspired by 30 different Ugandan women, which made the characters in this book feel very real. It was both incredible, and at times, disheartening getting to know the culture that shaped these women. I do have to say that this book could be slightly distressing for some readers as it covers some very intense topics such as rape, female genital mutilation, child marriage and extreme poverty.
The juxtaposition between the extremely wealthy and the extremely poor was very jarring to read, but one thing that stood out to me, was the fact that it didn't matter whether these girls/women were rich or poor, they were consider secondary to the men. They were no good for anything but making babies and keeping their mouths shut. I really enjoyed reading Lilian's journey into feminism and watching her character growth as she learned her worth.
I Am Change was a highly emotional read that had me in tears at times. It made me look at my own daughter, and think of all the things that she is capable of and all the things she has the opportunity to do that we, a lot of the time, take for granted. This was a powerful, feminist read and I highly recommend everybody buy a copy and delve into Lilians story. It's an important one.
Thank you so much to Walker Books for sending me a copy of I Am Change in exchange for an honest review.
December 8, 2020
3.5 stars.
I really loved the atmosphere of this novel and how the author worked with girls who actually experienced all of these horrific deeds done to them. That being said, it did feel almost too good to be true in the end. Her speech was uplifting, quotable and powerful but I can't help but feel that this wouldn't be possible in her situation. Lilian suffers throughout the book, hears of shocking secrets and has to learn to understand her mother's motivations even though she'll never be able to fully forgive her. I'd like to believe her life from then on goes smoothly, she actually goes to uni and manages to be independent. I truly hope so but this just felt too much like inspiration p*rn. Nonetheless I rooted for her from the start and liked reading a YA novel that deals with serious topics!
I really loved the atmosphere of this novel and how the author worked with girls who actually experienced all of these horrific deeds done to them. That being said, it did feel almost too good to be true in the end. Her speech was uplifting, quotable and powerful but I can't help but feel that this wouldn't be possible in her situation. Lilian suffers throughout the book, hears of shocking secrets and has to learn to understand her mother's motivations even though she'll never be able to fully forgive her. I'd like to believe her life from then on goes smoothly, she actually goes to uni and manages to be independent. I truly hope so but this just felt too much like inspiration p*rn. Nonetheless I rooted for her from the start and liked reading a YA novel that deals with serious topics!
October 17, 2019
3.5 ⭐️
Such an incredibly powerful story! education and birth control are incredible forces in ending cycles of poverty not just in Africa but globally.
Unfortunately the storytelling in this book was not as powerful. The writing was not terrible, but it felt quite basic!
The story of the text is definitely it’s driving force, and the writing style should not be a discouragement for you to read this book. Please read it! Stories about young girls like this do not get written enough, they’re far too rare and need to be read.
I highly recommend this book but CW for sexual assault and genital mutilation.
Such an incredibly powerful story! education and birth control are incredible forces in ending cycles of poverty not just in Africa but globally.
Unfortunately the storytelling in this book was not as powerful. The writing was not terrible, but it felt quite basic!
The story of the text is definitely it’s driving force, and the writing style should not be a discouragement for you to read this book. Please read it! Stories about young girls like this do not get written enough, they’re far too rare and need to be read.
I highly recommend this book but CW for sexual assault and genital mutilation.
June 8, 2019
Confronting. Emotional.
May 26, 2022
HIGHLY recommend. Such an amazing, heart wrenching and real story.
September 6, 2023
Tohle bylo hodně silné ❤️🩹
November 24, 2019
A powerful and confronting story about young African girls and the struggles they face for education and equality. The story is told compassionately and engagingly and was a good read. I would recommend.
July 13, 2021
My 13 year old daughter absolutely loved this book and asked me to read it too. As I read it, I kept wondering how she processed all the big themes of a young rural Ugandan girl’s life challenges. It made me proud that it moved her so much that she insisted I read it too.
It’s not an easy read though. I found it incredibly emotive and had to put it down for a few days at a time. But it is a great and challenging read.
It’s not an easy read though. I found it incredibly emotive and had to put it down for a few days at a time. But it is a great and challenging read.
November 23, 2020
The topic is important. It took me forever to read this book and not just because it was hard to read at times but because something was missing for me. I wasn’t excited to read this. And that’s a bit sad because like I sad the topic is really important. I might try again with a actual biography instead of a novel written by someone who hasn’t experienced what Lilian and so many girls and women out there experience.
November 21, 2020
Ok, WHAT? Honestly this book is one of my ALL-TIME favorites. I cannot describe how amazing this book is in even a few words. It is about girl empowerment, and it revolves around a girl called Lilian who lives in Uganda. Without the luxury of being able to attend school, she fights fo her education and goes to great lengths to make sure that she is always at the top. She comes across many hardships, as well as almost being sold off to get married. This book is so inspirational and it is a MUST read. It really opened my eyes to how much we take for granted living in a first-world country, and I recommend this to every single girl out there. Please, I beg you, read this, you need to!! Lilian, although she is a fictional character, is someone who I look up to, and really uses her voice for good, and is determined to make a change in life. I love this. I wish I could go on and on, but then no one would read this review haha. FIVE STARS! - muahahahahhhhahhaahhahaa >:O
August 20, 2020
I Am Change tells the story of Lilian, a Ugandan girl who strives to have equal opportunities as the males in a country where females are not entitled to education, have opinions, and are encouraged to stay home to look after the men. I initially struggled with getting stuck in to the story because of what the story was about. Coming from a white British family in the UK it is clear why I initially had difficulties connecting with Lillian, the other characters and the plot. But as I read on those differences between my experiences in life and what was happening in the story became the things that gave me the most feelings. I went through feeling outraged at times, sometimes happy but with a sad undertone, tearful, and downright disgusted. Lillian fought for what she knew was right every step of the way and never gave up despite being treated horribly. She was a fantastic main character and the fact that I know this is all very realistic and there are girls out there that will have experienced the things that Lillian did made the story more hard hitting.
I Am Change raises important issues regarding tradition, understanding, and education in countries such as Uganda. If all people have ever known is one way of life then that is the way they will live and that is what they will pass down to the next generation. The book deals with some harsh realities such as sexism, sexual assault, teenage pregnancy, forced child marriage, prostitution, racism, and female genital mutilation.
The story is so very well written and the characters so developed and realistic that it could easily be mistaken for a memoir. It's just so saddening that in 2020 girls and women are still suffering these atrocities.
I Am Change raises important issues regarding tradition, understanding, and education in countries such as Uganda. If all people have ever known is one way of life then that is the way they will live and that is what they will pass down to the next generation. The book deals with some harsh realities such as sexism, sexual assault, teenage pregnancy, forced child marriage, prostitution, racism, and female genital mutilation.
The story is so very well written and the characters so developed and realistic that it could easily be mistaken for a memoir. It's just so saddening that in 2020 girls and women are still suffering these atrocities.
February 12, 2020
This story tugs you in forty different directions at once. That's not to say it's confusing to read. It's not. It is however an emotional junket that exposes the reader to a battery of feelings ranging from anger disgust, sorrow, disbelief, exhileration, joy, hope and triumph.
Lilian's story is pre-empted in a small but powerful way by the foreword by Namukasa Nusula Sarah, a female native of Kampala, Uganda. Like Lilian's real life name sake, Nakamya Lilian, the initial catalyst for this story, Sarah provides an inescapable authenticity yet despite her opening words, Zail's narrative chimes with a legitimacy all on its own, so genuine, so sincere, it'll have you rising out of your seat with conviction.
Lilian is a young teenager on the cusp of womanhood. However despite the fact that she lives in our modern times, her home is a humble village in the countryside of Uganda. She walks to school, fetches water by hand from the well every day, squats to relieve herself, stashes her most valued possessions beneath a threadbare rag of mattress. It's the opposite of a charmed life in spite of the bright mantel of stars above her and the kiss of the moon upon her pages at night. The family struggles to scrape a living from the land to supplement her father's wages and feed themselves. And everything is made worse because she happens to be a girl.
Lilian is not only relegated to the lowliest of duties, cooking and cleaning up after her brother and deferring the choicest tidbits to him, she must prove on a daily basis her worth just so she can attend the village school. This is not the usual vocation for a female. Like her sisters before her, Lilian has been groomed to be a solicitous wife since the day she could walk.
Lilian's greatest desire however is not marriage. It is to finish Primary school and then Secondary school. She dreams of attending university and making something of herself. She is smart, wily and more determined than a summer monsoon. Her father is her soul confident, her erstwhile supporter. Her true comfort. He strives to find the money to keep his clever daughter educated but age and bigotry are his constant roadblocks.
Faced with a mother who is hobbled to past rituals and traditions and appears to harbour less and less love for her daughter as she matures, Lilian's tenure on her future weakens until she is sent to live with her Aunty in the city of Kampala. Lilian complies; it is after all her only way to continue school and avoid marrying someone she has never met. It also provides her with an opportunity to search for her long lost older sister, Nakato.
The prestige and prosperity of city life Lilian envisaged with her Aunty Amara and Uncle Beneh is soon tainted as Lilian realises that all the glimmers is not gold and prejudices run deep and thick in a land like hers even if you money. However tenacity continues to bubble within Lilian so that after she meets a group of girls and women with liberated, progressive outlooks that match her own, Lilian's convictions finally assume a meaning and a new fountain of knowledge and understanding erupts equipping Lilian with the ability to help educate those she loves most and by doing so, help them survive.
But it's not enough. Her father tells her that small things like 'a bee or an ant can be more powerful than an elephant', yet despite his encouragements, Lilian is betrayed in the most shocking and brutal of ways.
This novel will leave you gasping for righteous breath. Yet while your fists clench at the awful imbalance of power and and sexual inequality in countries like Uganda, you will also marvel at the sheer fortitude girls and women like Lilian possess. For many, to remain imprisoned in the ways of the past is their only foreseeable way forward but for many more others, like Lilian, change is afoot. And it's bold and beautiful and determined.
Zail's narrative is poetic and unashamedly barefaced. She portrays Lilian's innocence and coming of age with candidness and confidence so that the reader's relationship with Lilian is never spoiled. The beautiful balance of Lilian's gritty strength with her childlike naivete is one of the biggest drawcards of this story making it a compelling and empowering read for teen girls and boys alike.
Highly recommended.
Lilian's story is pre-empted in a small but powerful way by the foreword by Namukasa Nusula Sarah, a female native of Kampala, Uganda. Like Lilian's real life name sake, Nakamya Lilian, the initial catalyst for this story, Sarah provides an inescapable authenticity yet despite her opening words, Zail's narrative chimes with a legitimacy all on its own, so genuine, so sincere, it'll have you rising out of your seat with conviction.
Lilian is a young teenager on the cusp of womanhood. However despite the fact that she lives in our modern times, her home is a humble village in the countryside of Uganda. She walks to school, fetches water by hand from the well every day, squats to relieve herself, stashes her most valued possessions beneath a threadbare rag of mattress. It's the opposite of a charmed life in spite of the bright mantel of stars above her and the kiss of the moon upon her pages at night. The family struggles to scrape a living from the land to supplement her father's wages and feed themselves. And everything is made worse because she happens to be a girl.
Lilian is not only relegated to the lowliest of duties, cooking and cleaning up after her brother and deferring the choicest tidbits to him, she must prove on a daily basis her worth just so she can attend the village school. This is not the usual vocation for a female. Like her sisters before her, Lilian has been groomed to be a solicitous wife since the day she could walk.
Lilian's greatest desire however is not marriage. It is to finish Primary school and then Secondary school. She dreams of attending university and making something of herself. She is smart, wily and more determined than a summer monsoon. Her father is her soul confident, her erstwhile supporter. Her true comfort. He strives to find the money to keep his clever daughter educated but age and bigotry are his constant roadblocks.
Faced with a mother who is hobbled to past rituals and traditions and appears to harbour less and less love for her daughter as she matures, Lilian's tenure on her future weakens until she is sent to live with her Aunty in the city of Kampala. Lilian complies; it is after all her only way to continue school and avoid marrying someone she has never met. It also provides her with an opportunity to search for her long lost older sister, Nakato.
The prestige and prosperity of city life Lilian envisaged with her Aunty Amara and Uncle Beneh is soon tainted as Lilian realises that all the glimmers is not gold and prejudices run deep and thick in a land like hers even if you money. However tenacity continues to bubble within Lilian so that after she meets a group of girls and women with liberated, progressive outlooks that match her own, Lilian's convictions finally assume a meaning and a new fountain of knowledge and understanding erupts equipping Lilian with the ability to help educate those she loves most and by doing so, help them survive.
But it's not enough. Her father tells her that small things like 'a bee or an ant can be more powerful than an elephant', yet despite his encouragements, Lilian is betrayed in the most shocking and brutal of ways.
This novel will leave you gasping for righteous breath. Yet while your fists clench at the awful imbalance of power and and sexual inequality in countries like Uganda, you will also marvel at the sheer fortitude girls and women like Lilian possess. For many, to remain imprisoned in the ways of the past is their only foreseeable way forward but for many more others, like Lilian, change is afoot. And it's bold and beautiful and determined.
Zail's narrative is poetic and unashamedly barefaced. She portrays Lilian's innocence and coming of age with candidness and confidence so that the reader's relationship with Lilian is never spoiled. The beautiful balance of Lilian's gritty strength with her childlike naivete is one of the biggest drawcards of this story making it a compelling and empowering read for teen girls and boys alike.
Highly recommended.
Read
December 21, 2019This review was first published on the Underground Writers website: http://underground-writers.org/review...
Lillian wants so much more out of life than what is expected of her. Growing up in rural Uganda, her life is destined to follow the same path as her sisters, mother, and so many women before her: marry, have children, and care for her husband for the rest of her life. But Lillian doesn’t want to marry; she wants to get an education and become a writer.
When an opportunity arises to move to Kampala to attend school, she jumps on the chance for a better life. However, the life that she yearns for comes at a cost. I Am Change is a heartbreaking story, illustrating the importance of female empowerment in countries less privileged than ours.
Author Suzy Zail has clearly done her research for this novel; speaking with young girls from Uganda and truly encapsulating their lives within this fictionalised account of life in their home country. I had to take my time reading this book, as I often found myself putting it down in order to fully absorb what I was reading. Knowing this was based on true stories had me shaking my head in disbelief and my heart broke for the young women in this story.
The cycle of poverty and miseducation, often at the hands of men, was a running theme within this book. The women in Lillian’s village are so deeply indoctrinated with the ideals surrounding cultural practices that justify their mistreatment, that a vicious cycle is formed between mother and child. Lillian’s mother is a Sabiny woman, and she passes down physically detrimental traditions that serve the men in the community, such as female circumcision. We see the impact of poverty on the family, as their cassava crops fail and Lillian is set to be married off in order for them to afford living expenses. While the story develops slowly, and the author spends time immersing the reader in the culture and its traditions, it is still high-stakes enough to propel the story along.
Don’t expect a happy ending in this book. Yes, it’s an amazing example of the power of feminism and speaking up for yourself, but the tragedies and abuse that Lillian (and other characters) must endure in order to simply be treated with the respect they deserve is bleak to read about. Go into this story knowing that it is going to be hard-hitting and spirit-breaking, but ultimately Lillian displays incredible strength and courage against the difficult odds she is faced with.
Not every story is going to have a happy ending, and that is why this is such an important young adult book. It was reminiscent of Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, in the sense that it illustrates how even the slightest differences in circumstances can result in drastically altered paths in life. We see Lillian’s trajectory towards a full education compared to her schoolmate Dimple, as well as Lillian’s older sister Nakato. Young adult books such as this one need to be on the bookshelves of schools, of libraries and in the hands of young girls. Suzy Zail has given a voice to women that may not have had the opportunity to speak up, and that is a triumphant achievement. The next step would be to have these women of colour write their own stories, but I Am Change is a step in the right direction.
In Australia, we do not have to endure sexual harassment in order to have access to menstrual products, or in order to feed ourselves. We must acknowledge these facts and these stories in order to know what we need to do better, what we need to do in order for other girls to have the same level of freedom and opportunity as we do.
I Am Change was recently longlisted for the Indie Booksellers Awards 2020, in the Young Adult category.
Lillian wants so much more out of life than what is expected of her. Growing up in rural Uganda, her life is destined to follow the same path as her sisters, mother, and so many women before her: marry, have children, and care for her husband for the rest of her life. But Lillian doesn’t want to marry; she wants to get an education and become a writer.
When an opportunity arises to move to Kampala to attend school, she jumps on the chance for a better life. However, the life that she yearns for comes at a cost. I Am Change is a heartbreaking story, illustrating the importance of female empowerment in countries less privileged than ours.
Author Suzy Zail has clearly done her research for this novel; speaking with young girls from Uganda and truly encapsulating their lives within this fictionalised account of life in their home country. I had to take my time reading this book, as I often found myself putting it down in order to fully absorb what I was reading. Knowing this was based on true stories had me shaking my head in disbelief and my heart broke for the young women in this story.
The cycle of poverty and miseducation, often at the hands of men, was a running theme within this book. The women in Lillian’s village are so deeply indoctrinated with the ideals surrounding cultural practices that justify their mistreatment, that a vicious cycle is formed between mother and child. Lillian’s mother is a Sabiny woman, and she passes down physically detrimental traditions that serve the men in the community, such as female circumcision. We see the impact of poverty on the family, as their cassava crops fail and Lillian is set to be married off in order for them to afford living expenses. While the story develops slowly, and the author spends time immersing the reader in the culture and its traditions, it is still high-stakes enough to propel the story along.
Don’t expect a happy ending in this book. Yes, it’s an amazing example of the power of feminism and speaking up for yourself, but the tragedies and abuse that Lillian (and other characters) must endure in order to simply be treated with the respect they deserve is bleak to read about. Go into this story knowing that it is going to be hard-hitting and spirit-breaking, but ultimately Lillian displays incredible strength and courage against the difficult odds she is faced with.
Not every story is going to have a happy ending, and that is why this is such an important young adult book. It was reminiscent of Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, in the sense that it illustrates how even the slightest differences in circumstances can result in drastically altered paths in life. We see Lillian’s trajectory towards a full education compared to her schoolmate Dimple, as well as Lillian’s older sister Nakato. Young adult books such as this one need to be on the bookshelves of schools, of libraries and in the hands of young girls. Suzy Zail has given a voice to women that may not have had the opportunity to speak up, and that is a triumphant achievement. The next step would be to have these women of colour write their own stories, but I Am Change is a step in the right direction.
In Australia, we do not have to endure sexual harassment in order to have access to menstrual products, or in order to feed ourselves. We must acknowledge these facts and these stories in order to know what we need to do better, what we need to do in order for other girls to have the same level of freedom and opportunity as we do.
I Am Change was recently longlisted for the Indie Booksellers Awards 2020, in the Young Adult category.
July 27, 2019
http://jessjustreads.com
I Am Change is an extraordinary novel from Suzy Zail, about dreams, destiny, expectations, and one young girl’s determination to follow her passion and reject the future that is expected of her.
Suzy Zail’s book is fictional, but it is based on countless research and interviews with young Ugandan women. Lilian’s story in the book was inspired by 30 different Ugandan women, and all of the experiences that Lilian had in the book, are based on real life events that happened to at least one Ugandan woman.
At times, it was incredibly distressing because Ugandan women are often subjected to horrible customs and treatment from others. I Am Change explores traumatic topics such as genital mutilation, rape, forced child marriage, infant death, and poverty.
In developing countries around the world, over 200,000 million girls don’t have the opportunity to go to school or develop an education. In I Am Change, Lilian is determined to finish her schooling and go to university. She doesn’t want to be forced into a marriage, and she doesn’t want to follow the path that her mother expects of her purely because she’s a girl.
“The final bell rang and the class spilled from the room. Masani had followed one of the older boys to the back of the sports shed. Lilian snuck after them to watch. She wanted to look away, wanted to feel angry with Masani, but she couldn’t muster disgust, or even disappointment, just guilt that the watching warmed her body.”
Lilian wants to be a teacher, but no one believes it’s possible, or that she’s able to achieve that. She must get married and have babies — that is her role. That is the role of every woman in Uganda. Lilian’s father and aunt are the only two people who believe in her, and combined, they help her throughout the novel. But I imagine in the real world, many girls do not have support from their parents or extended family.
I Am Change is essential reading for adults and young readers — most readers in Australia probably have no idea what it’s like to live the kind of disadvantaged life that Lilian and her friends go through. And it’s horrifying to think that there are hundreds of thousands of women who have lived or are living these kinds of experiences around the world.
Not only is the story beautiful and the characters inviting, but the writing is fantastic. Suzy Zail crafts sentences that flow incredibly well, the dialogue is realistic to the age of the characters, and the story itself is engaging.
“Dimple didn’t return to school at the end of the wet season and with Trinah gone and Nasreen about to be married, Lilian’s only female company was Masani, who spent her lunchtimes emptying boys’ pockets of coins. Thomas still tried to buy Lilian with pencil sharpeners and cold drinks but his greasy smirk made her skin crawl.”
I Am Change is about awareness and education, and the importance of women receiving the same opportunities as men in developing countries. I anticipate many people will read this book and be moved by the characters, the circumstances, and Lilian’s courageous actions to break the cycle of poverty and disadvantage in her family. Highly recommended.
Thank you to the publisher for mailing me a review copy in exchange for an honest review.
I Am Change is an extraordinary novel from Suzy Zail, about dreams, destiny, expectations, and one young girl’s determination to follow her passion and reject the future that is expected of her.
Suzy Zail’s book is fictional, but it is based on countless research and interviews with young Ugandan women. Lilian’s story in the book was inspired by 30 different Ugandan women, and all of the experiences that Lilian had in the book, are based on real life events that happened to at least one Ugandan woman.
At times, it was incredibly distressing because Ugandan women are often subjected to horrible customs and treatment from others. I Am Change explores traumatic topics such as genital mutilation, rape, forced child marriage, infant death, and poverty.
In developing countries around the world, over 200,000 million girls don’t have the opportunity to go to school or develop an education. In I Am Change, Lilian is determined to finish her schooling and go to university. She doesn’t want to be forced into a marriage, and she doesn’t want to follow the path that her mother expects of her purely because she’s a girl.
“The final bell rang and the class spilled from the room. Masani had followed one of the older boys to the back of the sports shed. Lilian snuck after them to watch. She wanted to look away, wanted to feel angry with Masani, but she couldn’t muster disgust, or even disappointment, just guilt that the watching warmed her body.”
Lilian wants to be a teacher, but no one believes it’s possible, or that she’s able to achieve that. She must get married and have babies — that is her role. That is the role of every woman in Uganda. Lilian’s father and aunt are the only two people who believe in her, and combined, they help her throughout the novel. But I imagine in the real world, many girls do not have support from their parents or extended family.
I Am Change is essential reading for adults and young readers — most readers in Australia probably have no idea what it’s like to live the kind of disadvantaged life that Lilian and her friends go through. And it’s horrifying to think that there are hundreds of thousands of women who have lived or are living these kinds of experiences around the world.
Not only is the story beautiful and the characters inviting, but the writing is fantastic. Suzy Zail crafts sentences that flow incredibly well, the dialogue is realistic to the age of the characters, and the story itself is engaging.
“Dimple didn’t return to school at the end of the wet season and with Trinah gone and Nasreen about to be married, Lilian’s only female company was Masani, who spent her lunchtimes emptying boys’ pockets of coins. Thomas still tried to buy Lilian with pencil sharpeners and cold drinks but his greasy smirk made her skin crawl.”
I Am Change is about awareness and education, and the importance of women receiving the same opportunities as men in developing countries. I anticipate many people will read this book and be moved by the characters, the circumstances, and Lilian’s courageous actions to break the cycle of poverty and disadvantage in her family. Highly recommended.
Thank you to the publisher for mailing me a review copy in exchange for an honest review.
August 25, 2023
This book is not usually the kind I reach for. I read for pleasure and as a form of escapism but the title of the book was what made me buy it.
It had been a while since I had felt pure rage in my life, but, the injustice and horrific things that all the women in this book experienced left my blood boiling. Its not that I didn't know that women were ill-treated before. But it was written in such a matter-of-fact and gritty way that the rage swelled up at not realizing before that, some women believed the state of their lives as the only way there was to be. It wasn't a matter of 'this is wrong and I shouldn't be treated this way' but them actually believing that 'this is the only way and I need to be grateful to even have this.' To be treated as mere objects existing purely for the pleasure and satisfaction of men. To have our worth defined by the number of cows a man would give to be 'fresh and unsullied'. To be mutilated so that we never forget that its about his pleasure and not ours.
It also made me feel truly grateful for every little thing I had. I live in a metropolitan city and have access to everything and anything I need. Reading this book humbled me in so many ways. It made me grateful to have the option to eat my fill of any food I wanted, to have different clothes to wear, to have shoes to protect my feet, to have sanitary napkins during periods, to have the option to attend school and have a voice in class, to have all the stationery I could need, a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, access to all the information I want, to be respected when I speak and say no, to have the choice to be over 30 and not married...the list just keeps going.
The first time I smiled while reading the book was when Lilian's aunt decided to live her own life and started treating her niece well and they bonded...it was almost like a fever dream. But when Lilian changed the way she wrote her stories to strong powerful women, it marked such an important shift in her. It is never easy being the change that you want to see in this world. But it is also because of women that refused to give up, stay down and be silenced that we are able to have and be what we want to be now. Is it perfect? No. But its capable of getting better too.
It had been a while since I had felt pure rage in my life, but, the injustice and horrific things that all the women in this book experienced left my blood boiling. Its not that I didn't know that women were ill-treated before. But it was written in such a matter-of-fact and gritty way that the rage swelled up at not realizing before that, some women believed the state of their lives as the only way there was to be. It wasn't a matter of 'this is wrong and I shouldn't be treated this way' but them actually believing that 'this is the only way and I need to be grateful to even have this.' To be treated as mere objects existing purely for the pleasure and satisfaction of men. To have our worth defined by the number of cows a man would give to be 'fresh and unsullied'. To be mutilated so that we never forget that its about his pleasure and not ours.
It also made me feel truly grateful for every little thing I had. I live in a metropolitan city and have access to everything and anything I need. Reading this book humbled me in so many ways. It made me grateful to have the option to eat my fill of any food I wanted, to have different clothes to wear, to have shoes to protect my feet, to have sanitary napkins during periods, to have the option to attend school and have a voice in class, to have all the stationery I could need, a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, access to all the information I want, to be respected when I speak and say no, to have the choice to be over 30 and not married...the list just keeps going.
The first time I smiled while reading the book was when Lilian's aunt decided to live her own life and started treating her niece well and they bonded...it was almost like a fever dream. But when Lilian changed the way she wrote her stories to strong powerful women, it marked such an important shift in her. It is never easy being the change that you want to see in this world. But it is also because of women that refused to give up, stay down and be silenced that we are able to have and be what we want to be now. Is it perfect? No. But its capable of getting better too.
September 17, 2019
I've lived long enough to be aware of the sorts of discrimination, deprivation and abuse women have faced throughout history and into modern times. I know that in some countries this sort of treatment of women is fairly common place and even condoned by the law. Even though I know all this, it is still shocking to read about it and know women are enduring this treatment even as I type. Suzy Zail is brutal in her telling of Lilian's story, which she says herself is the composite of situations many Ugandan girls find themselves facing, or found themselves facing in the recent past (Suzy interviewed thirty girls to get an insight into their lives). Although Lilian's story is harrowing, her ability to survive and thrive is awe inspiring. Lilian is the third daughter of a poor family. Her mother has never recovered from the death of the fourth daughter and seems to have lost all compassion. She is determined that Lilian is brought up in a traditional way, what ever the cost (physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually). Traditionally females serve the males, girls are married early and become the property of their husbands. Lilian's father does not necessarily agree with this and he works himself into premature old age to try to get enough money to keep her at school for as long as possible. Lilian is very intelligent and very determined. She has a passion for learning and wants an education more than just about anything. She will face many hurdles and come to a far greater understanding about herself, her family, her friends and the society in which she lives. I highly recommend this book although it maybe too confronting for younger readers. We have made it age restricted at our secondary school to those 15 years old and above (unless parental permission is gained).
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