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Fear Of Life
Alexander Lowen, M.D., world famous psychiatrist and creator of Bioenergetic Analysis shows you how to resolve your fears and allow yourself -Surrender to Love -Let go rather than control -Be rather than do -Flow rather than push Bioenergetic Analysis helps -Love in a new way -Discover sexuality as authenticity -Find the courage to truly be -Harmonize the mind and the body -Use Bioenergetic exercises to heal emotional conflicts
263 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1980
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1996 people want to read
About the author
Alexander Lowen
104 books319 followersAlexander Lowen (1910–2008) was an American physician and psychotherapist. The story of his life is a story of how he honored the body and healed his mind-body split. It is also the story of how, along the way, he helped mankind.
During his lifetime, Lowen earned four college degrees: his Bachelor of Science; his Bachelor of Law (L.L.B); his Doctor of Sciences of Law (J.S.D.); and his medical Degree (M.D.). He developed Wilhelm Reich's beliefs into Bioenergetic Analysis and created a large and viable organization, the International Institute for Bioenergetic Analysis (IIBA) to sustain and promote his therapeutic approach. The IIBA now has over 1500 members and 54 training institutes worldwide. Bioenergetic Analysis is now practiced not only in the United States, but also in Canada, Europe, Latin America, Israel, New Zealand, Australia, Japan and other countries.
Dr. Lowen has authored 14 books (translated to as many as eight different languages, collectively) as well as numerous articles and other professional publications. He also has presented his ideas in untold numbers of interviews, on video and audio tapes, and lectures worldwide. The establishment of the Journal for Bioenergetic Analysis gave him much satisfaction since it provides an ongoing forum for examining and furthering the ideas he pioneered. When asked during an interview in 2004 what has given him the most meaning in life, he responds without hesitation, feeling the pleasure and life of the body.
During his lifetime, Lowen earned four college degrees: his Bachelor of Science; his Bachelor of Law (L.L.B); his Doctor of Sciences of Law (J.S.D.); and his medical Degree (M.D.). He developed Wilhelm Reich's beliefs into Bioenergetic Analysis and created a large and viable organization, the International Institute for Bioenergetic Analysis (IIBA) to sustain and promote his therapeutic approach. The IIBA now has over 1500 members and 54 training institutes worldwide. Bioenergetic Analysis is now practiced not only in the United States, but also in Canada, Europe, Latin America, Israel, New Zealand, Australia, Japan and other countries.
Dr. Lowen has authored 14 books (translated to as many as eight different languages, collectively) as well as numerous articles and other professional publications. He also has presented his ideas in untold numbers of interviews, on video and audio tapes, and lectures worldwide. The establishment of the Journal for Bioenergetic Analysis gave him much satisfaction since it provides an ongoing forum for examining and furthering the ideas he pioneered. When asked during an interview in 2004 what has given him the most meaning in life, he responds without hesitation, feeling the pleasure and life of the body.
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October 21, 2018
Overview: I found this book to be a refreshingly insightful narrative into the human condition in modern society. Lowen also goes in depth into the symbolism of the story of Oedipus and extracts striking insight into the condition of the modern man. There are many insights and points in the book I’ll have to leave out for brevity’s sake, but I’ll hit on points that stuck out to me most and which I can summarize mostly from memory alone.
Lowen defines neurosis as inner conflict – conflict between what a person is and what they believe they should be. Theoretically a person would learn from mistakes, correct them and change their behavior to more adaptive and healthy patterns. But because a neurotic is at war with himself he cannot change or learn from mistakes, instead, he keeps repeating them even if he “knows” better.
Because our industrial culture and modern society has developed the preeminent values of power and progress (egoistic, left brained, patriarchal, will-based, doing, individualistic) over being, nature and body (animal nature, right brain, matriarchal, collectivistic) everybody who is a part of modern society is a neurotic. We are split between our ego that craves power and progress and our body and animal nature that resides in being. Thus, it is the fate of modern man to be a neurotic.
Furthermore, a struggle against this fate only ensures it because one would only end up using the tools of the ego and will, through the values of power and progress, to try to “overcome” it. One’s fate and failure must be truly accepted if there can be any true change possible.
One’s fate is tied to one’s character structure. Prediction is possible wherever there are structures because structures determine the function of things. For instance, humans who not have gills like fish do and thus are not fated to live in water. Structure determines function determines fate. Likewise, the neurotic character structures we have imprinted on our psyches and thus in our bodies, bioenergetically he might say, determine our fate.
Lowen also significantly develops and goes in depth into the relationship between our sexuality, range of feeling, and our being to the Oedipal conflict in which our sexuality, feeling and very being was significantly repressed and broken in at a young age. Seldom does anybody actually recall the familial events of this time and the extent of their psychological and formative impact on their development. Usually the context of this original “breaking” can only come to us through dream work and the like, though we suffer immensely in the present and continue to play out the character structure’s fate that it imprinted upon us.
Like Oedipus, we are fated to kill our father and marry our mother, metaphorically. The idea of the latter half parallels the research of relationships experts like Harville Hendrix and his concept of the imago. The former half, the way one “kills his father” metaphorically is by striving for success and power to compensate for one’s spirit, being, animal nature and sexuality being broken (or psychologically “castrated”) in childhood. We strive to progress beyond our fathers, subconsciously. The same pattern is paralleled with women, though with the opposite sexes in the roles.
We are also fated to roam the earth with a pervading sense of alienation and a vague sense of existential guilt while we lack fulfillment and carry on our tasks all the while striving for success, power and progress.
There are other cultures that do not have the preeminent values of power and progress and they do not suffer from the degree of neurosis we do in our modern civilized society. They accept their animal nature, their bodies and their fates and live at one with the ebb and flow of nature rather than seeking to overcome it like we, in modern society, do. Because we seek to overcome our fate, which, due to our animal nature, is death, we are actually resigned to live in a much worse fate – the fear of life. We also experience, what Barry Schwartz calls the paradox of choice. In modern society we have more power and choices than those in “uncivilized” cultures, but as a result we struggle with anxiety over making the “right” choice and thus actually experience less fulfillment though we are “freer” (but are we really?).
Lowen masterfully explains the intracacies of the bind that the modern man and neurotic is in, being both afraid of life and death and being unable to accept his being. I cannot possibly do justice to the extent of it in this review. In one place Lowen summarizes the conflict of being in which one’s sexuality is broken in one patient’s experience, “Stimulus – the desire to respond – guilt for wanting to respond – rage at being judged bad for responding – feeling overwhelmed – responding defiantly while feeling anxiety – remorse at having responded – punish self or self-punishment to alleviate guilt and assuage remorse” (p. 136). Lowen also explains how neurosis is passed on from generation to generation through the unresolved oedipal situation that is a natural phase of development for children but one that our society has been ill-equipped to consciously navigate in a way that doesn’t result in the breaking of the child’s spirit and being.
Somewhat refreshingly, Lowen is actually brief on proposed “solutions.” His “solutions” are anti-solutions in a sense – namely, that we accept failure and accept our fate. Part of the problem is that a neurotic cannot change a neurotic society. Nor can a neurotic cure himself of his neurosis through his neurotic ways of approaching life. This is why accepting failure and one’s fate is all that can be done in a sense, if there is the slight possibility of changing it seemingly.
Lowen also comments insightfully on the judgments we have towards being, our bodies and animal natures and thus sexuality as well. We strive to be machine-like in our industrial culture. We value power and progress. We value doing and going, like machines. This tension between the ego (the will to strive for power and progress) and the body is what creates and furthers culture. However, like a bow and arrow drawn too far at a certain point, it breaks. The ego and body have been drawn too far apart at this point in society and psychotic breaks are thus increasingly common. This is why our fate and failure must be accepted. We are breaking down in trying to resist them.
Wisdom eventually can arise in a dialectical process of synthesis between all these paradoxical and conflicting parts of ourselves. We may eventually be able to see into the heart of things, beyond all contractions, with acceptance and understanding – knowing that things are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. Here I’ll quote him, “It [wisdom] means seeing the human being as the animal he is, struggling to gain security yet be free, to be productive but also joyful, to seek pleasure but also to know pain, to hope for transcendence and yet be content that one is contained within a finite body” (p. 250-251).
In conclusion, on a more personal reflective note, the book’s impact on me so far has been to validate and give words to this vague struggle of being a neurotic in modern society. This has helped ground me into my sense of things, being that I feel I’ve struggled and been affected more acutely by the neurotic structure of society as a profoundly sensitive, existentially aware and self-aware individual. I feel more able to accept that these challenges in modern society are to be expected and that striving to “overcome” them might actually make them worse paradoxically – which was the experience that led me to read this book originally. Lowen’s insight and description of the modern man’s condition I felt was supremely validating and grounding. Now I have a bit of a confirmation of what I suspected – that maybe we can only progress so far and yet not split from our being and body. Maybe there is indeed wisdom in simply accepting our humanity and nature rather than trying overcome it, fix it, heal it or improve it. This is coming from a person who has spent the greater portion of his life trying to solve the suffering experienced via the neurotic structure of society, his relationship to it and its effect on him through self-improvement.
Lowen defines neurosis as inner conflict – conflict between what a person is and what they believe they should be. Theoretically a person would learn from mistakes, correct them and change their behavior to more adaptive and healthy patterns. But because a neurotic is at war with himself he cannot change or learn from mistakes, instead, he keeps repeating them even if he “knows” better.
Because our industrial culture and modern society has developed the preeminent values of power and progress (egoistic, left brained, patriarchal, will-based, doing, individualistic) over being, nature and body (animal nature, right brain, matriarchal, collectivistic) everybody who is a part of modern society is a neurotic. We are split between our ego that craves power and progress and our body and animal nature that resides in being. Thus, it is the fate of modern man to be a neurotic.
Furthermore, a struggle against this fate only ensures it because one would only end up using the tools of the ego and will, through the values of power and progress, to try to “overcome” it. One’s fate and failure must be truly accepted if there can be any true change possible.
One’s fate is tied to one’s character structure. Prediction is possible wherever there are structures because structures determine the function of things. For instance, humans who not have gills like fish do and thus are not fated to live in water. Structure determines function determines fate. Likewise, the neurotic character structures we have imprinted on our psyches and thus in our bodies, bioenergetically he might say, determine our fate.
Lowen also significantly develops and goes in depth into the relationship between our sexuality, range of feeling, and our being to the Oedipal conflict in which our sexuality, feeling and very being was significantly repressed and broken in at a young age. Seldom does anybody actually recall the familial events of this time and the extent of their psychological and formative impact on their development. Usually the context of this original “breaking” can only come to us through dream work and the like, though we suffer immensely in the present and continue to play out the character structure’s fate that it imprinted upon us.
Like Oedipus, we are fated to kill our father and marry our mother, metaphorically. The idea of the latter half parallels the research of relationships experts like Harville Hendrix and his concept of the imago. The former half, the way one “kills his father” metaphorically is by striving for success and power to compensate for one’s spirit, being, animal nature and sexuality being broken (or psychologically “castrated”) in childhood. We strive to progress beyond our fathers, subconsciously. The same pattern is paralleled with women, though with the opposite sexes in the roles.
We are also fated to roam the earth with a pervading sense of alienation and a vague sense of existential guilt while we lack fulfillment and carry on our tasks all the while striving for success, power and progress.
There are other cultures that do not have the preeminent values of power and progress and they do not suffer from the degree of neurosis we do in our modern civilized society. They accept their animal nature, their bodies and their fates and live at one with the ebb and flow of nature rather than seeking to overcome it like we, in modern society, do. Because we seek to overcome our fate, which, due to our animal nature, is death, we are actually resigned to live in a much worse fate – the fear of life. We also experience, what Barry Schwartz calls the paradox of choice. In modern society we have more power and choices than those in “uncivilized” cultures, but as a result we struggle with anxiety over making the “right” choice and thus actually experience less fulfillment though we are “freer” (but are we really?).
Lowen masterfully explains the intracacies of the bind that the modern man and neurotic is in, being both afraid of life and death and being unable to accept his being. I cannot possibly do justice to the extent of it in this review. In one place Lowen summarizes the conflict of being in which one’s sexuality is broken in one patient’s experience, “Stimulus – the desire to respond – guilt for wanting to respond – rage at being judged bad for responding – feeling overwhelmed – responding defiantly while feeling anxiety – remorse at having responded – punish self or self-punishment to alleviate guilt and assuage remorse” (p. 136). Lowen also explains how neurosis is passed on from generation to generation through the unresolved oedipal situation that is a natural phase of development for children but one that our society has been ill-equipped to consciously navigate in a way that doesn’t result in the breaking of the child’s spirit and being.
Somewhat refreshingly, Lowen is actually brief on proposed “solutions.” His “solutions” are anti-solutions in a sense – namely, that we accept failure and accept our fate. Part of the problem is that a neurotic cannot change a neurotic society. Nor can a neurotic cure himself of his neurosis through his neurotic ways of approaching life. This is why accepting failure and one’s fate is all that can be done in a sense, if there is the slight possibility of changing it seemingly.
Lowen also comments insightfully on the judgments we have towards being, our bodies and animal natures and thus sexuality as well. We strive to be machine-like in our industrial culture. We value power and progress. We value doing and going, like machines. This tension between the ego (the will to strive for power and progress) and the body is what creates and furthers culture. However, like a bow and arrow drawn too far at a certain point, it breaks. The ego and body have been drawn too far apart at this point in society and psychotic breaks are thus increasingly common. This is why our fate and failure must be accepted. We are breaking down in trying to resist them.
Wisdom eventually can arise in a dialectical process of synthesis between all these paradoxical and conflicting parts of ourselves. We may eventually be able to see into the heart of things, beyond all contractions, with acceptance and understanding – knowing that things are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. Here I’ll quote him, “It [wisdom] means seeing the human being as the animal he is, struggling to gain security yet be free, to be productive but also joyful, to seek pleasure but also to know pain, to hope for transcendence and yet be content that one is contained within a finite body” (p. 250-251).
In conclusion, on a more personal reflective note, the book’s impact on me so far has been to validate and give words to this vague struggle of being a neurotic in modern society. This has helped ground me into my sense of things, being that I feel I’ve struggled and been affected more acutely by the neurotic structure of society as a profoundly sensitive, existentially aware and self-aware individual. I feel more able to accept that these challenges in modern society are to be expected and that striving to “overcome” them might actually make them worse paradoxically – which was the experience that led me to read this book originally. Lowen’s insight and description of the modern man’s condition I felt was supremely validating and grounding. Now I have a bit of a confirmation of what I suspected – that maybe we can only progress so far and yet not split from our being and body. Maybe there is indeed wisdom in simply accepting our humanity and nature rather than trying overcome it, fix it, heal it or improve it. This is coming from a person who has spent the greater portion of his life trying to solve the suffering experienced via the neurotic structure of society, his relationship to it and its effect on him through self-improvement.
February 8, 2017
What I learned troughout this book is that the major cause of our fear and anxiety is a striving for progression. We always want to progress that is why we are not happy with the present. To free our self we must accept the present, accept ourself, our failures and downfalls.
Great book!
Great book!
July 11, 2015
This is an analysis of human neurosis from a neo-Freudian perspective, particularly focusing on the treatments and therapies of Wilhelm Reich, a controversial disciple of Freud who re-established psychoanalytical focus on the body as continuing the maintenance of neurosis through muscular tensions.
Dr.Lowen, who was a student of Reich, takes this basic paradigm (the unhealthiness of the neurotic mind as manifested in the unhealthiness of the body) and applies it across 300 or so pages in his analysis of human behavior.
It's a well-written book, with perhaps some unavoidable repetition. I learnt something new almost on every page, and it was a deeply engaging and mind-expanding view of neurosis, i.e. our 'fear of life'.
Strongly recommended for students of psychology, physiology, psychoanalysis, and human nature generally. It's a good introduction to the entire field of 'bioenergetics'.
Dr.Lowen, who was a student of Reich, takes this basic paradigm (the unhealthiness of the neurotic mind as manifested in the unhealthiness of the body) and applies it across 300 or so pages in his analysis of human behavior.
It's a well-written book, with perhaps some unavoidable repetition. I learnt something new almost on every page, and it was a deeply engaging and mind-expanding view of neurosis, i.e. our 'fear of life'.
Strongly recommended for students of psychology, physiology, psychoanalysis, and human nature generally. It's a good introduction to the entire field of 'bioenergetics'.
January 22, 2021
This book is written by a practitioner of psychoanalysis -- although it is modified Freud. There is no mention of Lacan here.
It's surprisingly deep, as Lowen is able to effect changes for his client and himself. Like all forms of psychoanalysis, there is this pursuit of truth as it relates to structures formed from the past. While this method of personal exegesis can create false memories, Lowen is less concerned about the specifics of the past memory (as if human memory can be infallible) -- rather he seems more concerned with the here and now, unlocking the hidden potential within each of us, where we can give ourselves permission to rise to our best.
In some ways this relates directly with Ernest Becker -- only here we are not denying death with our neurotic character formation, but rather we are fearing life itself. Similar but different; Lowen is more pragmatic than Becker.
Lowen's main vehicle in some way, seems to be changing the body posture, making available the unlocked tension in our muscular form -- that is a direct key to how we are psychologically frozen. For Lowen, releasing the inner tension in our pelvic floor will let us begin to feel again, which is always going to be a process one needs to engage in constantly -- as if all traumas/psychological handicaps are the same, because of our culture.
There is a line here and there, where he claims that Orientals and native Americans (non-Westerners) do not have this complex... betraying an intellectual blindspot in his positioning, due to how real he believes his philosophical ideas.
He also seems fairly successful. One thing interesting is that in a meta-study recently, it was shown that methodological differences in therapeutic practices were not correlated with patient progress -- the more salient relationship is the closeness between the practitioner and the patient. If we accept this, then Lowen is only successful insofar as the patient trusts him and is willing to let him help. The jargon/method then acts as a justificatory tool to allow the relationship to blossom. Without it, a practitioner like Lowen might feel as lost as the patient. Either way, it's more important to find someone you trust than someone who practices in a particular way.
I did enjoy the book though. It gave me some insight into someone who was deeply situated in a particular view of psychology, and allowed me to see where Lowen could offer gems of wisdom, whereby one's attitude in life can create the very undesired life they suffer with, rather than their suffering creating their attitude.
It's surprisingly deep, as Lowen is able to effect changes for his client and himself. Like all forms of psychoanalysis, there is this pursuit of truth as it relates to structures formed from the past. While this method of personal exegesis can create false memories, Lowen is less concerned about the specifics of the past memory (as if human memory can be infallible) -- rather he seems more concerned with the here and now, unlocking the hidden potential within each of us, where we can give ourselves permission to rise to our best.
In some ways this relates directly with Ernest Becker -- only here we are not denying death with our neurotic character formation, but rather we are fearing life itself. Similar but different; Lowen is more pragmatic than Becker.
Lowen's main vehicle in some way, seems to be changing the body posture, making available the unlocked tension in our muscular form -- that is a direct key to how we are psychologically frozen. For Lowen, releasing the inner tension in our pelvic floor will let us begin to feel again, which is always going to be a process one needs to engage in constantly -- as if all traumas/psychological handicaps are the same, because of our culture.
There is a line here and there, where he claims that Orientals and native Americans (non-Westerners) do not have this complex... betraying an intellectual blindspot in his positioning, due to how real he believes his philosophical ideas.
He also seems fairly successful. One thing interesting is that in a meta-study recently, it was shown that methodological differences in therapeutic practices were not correlated with patient progress -- the more salient relationship is the closeness between the practitioner and the patient. If we accept this, then Lowen is only successful insofar as the patient trusts him and is willing to let him help. The jargon/method then acts as a justificatory tool to allow the relationship to blossom. Without it, a practitioner like Lowen might feel as lost as the patient. Either way, it's more important to find someone you trust than someone who practices in a particular way.
I did enjoy the book though. It gave me some insight into someone who was deeply situated in a particular view of psychology, and allowed me to see where Lowen could offer gems of wisdom, whereby one's attitude in life can create the very undesired life they suffer with, rather than their suffering creating their attitude.
September 17, 2013
Lowen relaciona nossas neuroses a um medo da vida que aparece na forma de outros medos, como o a morte ou da loucura. Ele mostra como esses medos se originam na nossa infância, resultado dos conflitos da situação edipiana. Escreve de forma fluida e sempre traz exemplos de seus pacientes (quando não de si mesmo), sendo difícil não se identificar!
July 12, 2012
Learned about the emotions that lie at the bottom of the pit- like despair and resignation. Coming to terms or in touch with this deeper reality could help me re-connect with myself, experience the deeper truth and it's pain. Hopefully at some point I can connect with the long buried rage! Going to these depths may mean confronting fear- for example the fear of death (if we let go of our will - the ego control - to live. The author looks at the mechanisms that many of us used to get through unsafe childhoods- suppressing emotions or repressing sexuality by tensing corresponding muscles. It's argued that for many people these mechanisms are for survival- that we only survived due to our will to live and subsequent ways of adapting.
May 8, 2024
This is later stage Lowen work that really starts to show his own implicit acknowledgment or at least pronounced curiosity that there is something bigger than the individual that is driving us through our lives. “Fate” is explored through the system of characterology, which in this context is mostly looking at the rigid/achiever character and the underlying oedipal connections to his/her behavior.
5 stars because I enjoyed the relevance to contemporary Western society and the psycho-philosophical exploration. Lowen’s writing has always been captivating, and in these late years, it’s also reflective and more open to the transpersonal.
5 stars because I enjoyed the relevance to contemporary Western society and the psycho-philosophical exploration. Lowen’s writing has always been captivating, and in these late years, it’s also reflective and more open to the transpersonal.
June 17, 2024
Reading Alexander Lowen in my early twenties was being exposed to the gospel of depths of wisdom without end. Coming back to him in my late twenties, however, I am first and foremost struck by the lack of nuance and the overconfidence of some of the claims. For example, when discussing the restrained expressions of feelings in a patient, he said there was only one answer, namely that the relationship between father and daughter had become sexual. I believe the “there is only one answer” blurb is emblematic of Lowen’s nuanced view of psychopathology, namely, that it’s easily diagnosed and rooted in sexuality.
In The Fear of Life, Lowen tackles topics such as fate, acceptance, the Oedipus complex, psychological problems especially regarding sex, emotion and relationships, stemming from issues from the parents regarding sexual guilt, competition, attraction and seduction. Like all of the rest of his books, he puts a heavy emphasis on the psycho-somatic and how bodily exercises can facilitate psychological healing. Unfortunately for me, Lowen has a naive Rousseauian view of human nature, and while he’s worth reading, most of his writing is considered outdated.
Lowen makes the case, like Freud, that children are inherently sexual, and their love and desire for physical intimacy with their parents are of a sexual nature. Lowen writes that babies derive erotic pleasure from nursing because it’s sexual in nature, and that the difference between childhood and adult sexuality is that the former lacks penetration and ejaculation. I have often wondered about what exactly is sex lately. Modern “sexperts” define it as anything that is physically pleasurable and leads to satisfaction. I think the discussion, especially reading Lowen, is very confusing unless you make “sexuality” have a meaning so vague it is practically meaningless. If a baby nursing is sex, then the word, in my opinion, completely loses its meaning.
I wonder what is the purpose of stretching the definition of sex so thin. One of the reasons might be that psychoanalysis like Lowen has seen the damage done by sexual repression, and if they make sexuality ominous from childbirth (or before, as in the fetus is having sex with its mother?), then they can drown in their inherent incestuous nature, surrender to it, accept it, and thus stop feeling guilt about, well, their sexual nature, especially in relation to family, and thus paradoxically transcend their neurotic fate.
I do think Lowen’s writing should be taken seriously, as he makes a lot of very interesting points, and I think the bioenergetic perspective should be considered, and on the whole, I am in agreement with him, except he is rather vague, overconfident and overliberal in many cases. I don’t share his views on masturbation, sexuality, and I think, as psychoanalysts do, overemphasize trauma in childhood to an overblown importance. Lowen writes at many instances that particular childhood events (always done by the parents, of course) permanently traumatize the child, creates suppression and mental repression, and permanently changes their character structure, causing endless misery for the rest of their lives. Taking Lowen seriously would lead the parent or potential parent to walk on eggshells with their child, hoping they will never do anything to upset them enough to alter their character structure.
Nevertheless, a lot of Lowen’s writing is interesting and I believe it is true. For example, regarding the Oedipus complex, Lowen says a father might withdraw from his daughter because he is uncomfortable by the eerie (sexual) tension between them. The daughter is confused and feels rejected, and by mere osmosis, takes on his sexual guilt onto herself. I don’t think this is as unrealistic as it might seem. Especially when the father is sex-deprived of the wife and the daughter is radiating the so-called infantile “sexual” love for her father. I think the guilt and repression of sexual feelings for the father is also evident in that it’s frequent among women to be attracted to men similar to their father, and it’s common for women to get sexually aroused by calling their partner “daddy” or “papi,” and also explicit father-daughter role-play fantasies. I don’t doubt that the Oedipus complex is real, widespread and plays a significant role in a person’s “neurosis,” and while Freud’s castration-anxiety seems alien and far-fetched to me, I don’t deny it, and I think competition of father-son and daughter-mother is real, and I do think girls feel guilt for wanting to compete with their mother for the father’s affection, and at some level of consciousness, afraid she will be punished for it.
My main problem with Lowen, and Reich for that matter, is that nobody is advocating limits, apparently. Sexual suppression is the root of all evil, so to say-- thus, the natural implication is that we ought to reduce sexual suppression, sexual guilt and shame. And I wonder, then, what is the ideal that Lowen is getting at? Throughout the entire book, Lowen keeps hammering on the idea that repressed sexuality between parent and child, and the shame, leads to psychological problems. On the other hand, he presents no counter-force, namely the traumatic effects of shameless unsuppressed sexuality: real incest acted out. I think it would be totally appropriate for Lowen to at least include one incident where the psychopathology was caused by unrestrained sexuality with no healthy boundaries; and let his commentary be colored by such an example. It is unfortunately not.
Though it seems that my criticism can be dodged easily considering that Lowen uses such a loose definition of sexuality that incest is undefinable. If breastfeeding is incest, then incest isn’t wrong, and thus the problem is more of abuse and exploitation rather than anything inherently sexual, which might open the door ajar to more explicit sexual acts inside the family that is deemed appropriate, and I do not doubt the sexual revolutionists and radicals actually think this is the case, with Lowen, I don’t know. What’s frustrating about reading Lowen is that he does not discuss boundaries, and the only solutions he presents the reader is that we ought to bend back on a stool and breathe deeply, hit a bed with a tennis-racquet and put our fingers in our mouth to gag out our neurotic holding patterns.
If I were to give my best interpretation of Lowen, I would say that he answers this conundrum indirectly. In discussing the Oedipus myth, he makes the case that if Oedipus would have accepted his fate as proclaimed by the Oracle, paradoxically, he wouldn’t end up marrying his mother and killing his father. Thus for Lowen, I think, the answer is to accept our fate, that we’re flawed human beings with a sexual nature that doesn’t always seem to coexist well with our own conscience, super-ego, society's standards and moral law. It seems to me that acceptance is one of the cornerstones of healing, which makes me suspicious that, for example, taboo sexual roleplay is beneficial to the degree it brings about mutual acceptance in the parents, or potential parents, and that fantasies are not necessarily furthering ingraining the neurosis and create an obsession (which it might), but instead living out the fate in the realm of sexual play will free them from it in “real life.”
Though my problem with saying that “acceptance” is the answer is that it doesn’t help us with knowing what to accept. Now that I think of it, I remember reading Lowen say that he had sexual feelings for a patient, but in contrast with the proponent of Radical Honesty, Brad Branson, Lowen had the view that it would be appropriate to hold that feeling for oneself, thus, Lowen does believe in boundaries (secrets, unexpressed feelings), and it’s not hard to extend that out to the family, although didn’t voice any such boundaries, at least so far in my reading of him. So, what should one accept, and what does accepting look like in practice? My fear, of course, is that if you were to practice radical acceptance, by consequence, it would seem to me that boundaries would dissolve together with the repression, guilt and the burden of holding something within yourself.
Reading Lowen is always a treat because he sprinkles in his wisdom about the relationship between the psycho and the somatic, and a book of Lowen is always worth reading. However, his politics and view of human nature is too Rousseauian (communist) for my taste, as he comes from the place that children are naturally innocent and perfect, but are corrupted by their parents and culture, and anything bad children do is actually because of the parents. He writes that humans nor animals are inherently violent, but only act in such a way if they feel psychologically trapped. And his commentary about the patriarchy is nothing but confusing to me. On the one hand, he says that most of his patients come from a household where the mother had the power, where Lowen says this was the norm at his time. I might also suspect there is some selection bias, given that most of his patients struggling psychologically are coming from households with weak fathers.
Seven pages later, however, he writes about how parents tend to pass on their conflict from the previous generation onto the child, and there is a power struggle between children and parents. He writes, “In a patriarchal culture the misery is passed on from generation to generation.” But as we remember, most of his patients come from households where mothers wield the power. So, why is it the fault of the “patriarchy” that parents pass on their misery in his patients? It would make much more sense to me that you can’t blame the patriarchy for people’s tendency to want to inflict damage onto others.
The confusing thing, of course, is that Lowen uses “patriarchy” in a very bizarre way, in such a way that means that men
have power over women, but moreover, the role of power itself. Meaning, in cases where women had power over men, it would still be a patriarchy because it involves power, and of course, power is an invention that male homo sapiens made up when the left hemisphere took over and gained ego control over the body, nature, and the unconscious “great mother.” Does that make sense? No? Nor does it to me. Right after Lowen says that the patriarchy is to blame for this behavior, he contrasts our culture with that of the Oriental one and the primitive societies, where parents do not use children as an outlet for their frustrations and bring down the demons down the generations. In Lowen’s world, it seems to me he conceived Oriental and primitive societies as not patriarchal, which is very confusing to me, because it is as if he thinks of communist China as a giant zen garden where everyone is doing Tai-Chi, doing art and practicing enlightenment in perfect harmony with nature, where men and women are equal and there’s no dynasties of (male) emperors, struggling for power in bloody wars. Not to mention the primitive societies, which he thinks lived in perfect harmony with each other based on one example, of course, turning a blind eye to all the counter-examples.
Lowen defines patriarchy as an authority system based on top-down enforced power, where there is a hierarchy of values, and knowledge and power are valued, whereas a matriarchy as a system where the rule is the agreement of the community, and pleasure and sex are valued. However, I fail to see why this distinction should be correlated with the sexes. My best guess would be that women have a natural aversion toward explicit hierarchies, and there are examples in animals where females are leaders by sheer competence, and other animal examples where females are dominant and have a lot of sex, and their authority is based on voluntary submission to that competency. However, to assign “female” or “matriarchy” to a well-functioning power structure is a misleading use of words and based on cherry-picking your favorite animal species (elephants, probably).
A repeated theme in all Lowen’s writings is his insistence that power is antithetical to love, a sentiment he's probably been handed down by his Marxist mentor, Reich. I’ve never been able to know what to do with this stance. What would a world look like where nobody had power over anyone else? And what is power? Although the idea sounds beautiful, once you think about it, the idea does not make sense, because power is a prerequisite for love. God loves us, yet wields ultimate power over us because if he did not have power over us, he could not love us. In a powerless universe, there would be no friction, no contact, thus no love. If adults do not have power over their children, their children will die, thus, it makes no sense for me to say power (thus the patriarchy) is the root of all evil.
Lowen relates a story where a child was “abused” by the mother at an airport because she used power to force his body to be in a position where the child did not want to be. If the mother would never resort to physical force and try to rationally convince the three-year-old to voluntarily step onto the plane, she would have missed the flight. If physical force is never used, all children will eventually die. When a mother picks up her baby to breastfeed it, she is exercising power because the infant does not consent to being picked up. Fundamentally, all power rests in physical force, and ideally, power should rest in the hands of the competent. And while that’s not the case as often as it should be, it’s useless to point to power itself as the source of the problem.
Lowen’s radicalism shined brighter through the following sentence than any other: “As long as we have a hierarchy of values, everything associated with the lower half of the body is viewed as common, vulgar and dirty.” This is a very strange sentence, and I think Lowen got carried away here. It is reminiscent of Lowen’s take on power, namely, it is power itself that’s the problem, not the way it’s exercised. By the same token, it’s values themselves that are the problem, not which values we have. In other words, in order to get rid of our sexual shame, guilt and embarrassment, not only do we need to change our values, but this sexual shame is so deeply ingrained in our value system, we have to eradicate values altogether, and become moral relativists in order to get rid of neuroticism, and have the ultimate sexual pleasure aliveness without any character armor.
There is a contradiction, that Lowen seems unaware of, by saying a matriarchy is one without a hierarchy of values, yet simultaneously, value sex and pleasure over power and knowledge. Needless to say, if there is no hierarchy of values, nobody would have sex, but instead, everyone would be lying flat on their backs letting the autonomic nervous system breathe until they die of thirst, most likely.
Lowen, unfortunately, is not a serious thinker, nor a careful writer, and despite having written a voluminous amount of books, he’s also not a very good writer. He has no style, his sentences have no sense of flow, nor seem connected half of the time, but instead seem loosely connected sentences one after another. Most of the sentences seem as if they are there because of a CTRL+V.
When discussing sexuality, Lowen, unfortunately, does not understand Freud’s idea of sexual sublimation, which is very strange, considering he’s a student of Reich, who was a direct student of Freud. Lowen writes: “I don’t agree with Freud that creative achievement depends on the sublimation of the sexual drive. On the contrary, individuals with more sexual aliveness are, often, the more creative persons. But productivity is another matter.” He then goes on to say that society is deliberately breaking the sexuality of the person in order to be a well-functioning cog in the productive (capitalistic-patriarchal) machine, as if a process of castration of animals to domesticate them for our needs.
A lot of people, Lowen included, believe that the deliberate abstinence of porn, masturbation and having orgasms is suppressing one’s sexuality. What Lowen doesn’t understand about sexual sublimation is that the omission of masturbation increases sexual aliveness, not diminishes it, and that’s the entire point. To abstain from masturbation comes from a place where one wants to keep the sexuality within oneself from a place of embrace, and values it, thus, does not want to squirt it out, wipe it off and throw it down the toilet. It is clear to me that the real “castration,” which Lowen talks about, is facilitated by internet porn addiction and frequent masturbation, to get rid of sexual energy within the confines of the privacy of your bedroom. Lowen is blindfolded by the sexual shame his patients carry, and thus abstain from masturbation from that angle, but that is not sexual sublimation that Freud was talking about. Sexual sublimation isn’t based on repression of sexuality by shame, but rather, using the raw libidinal energy, which is inherently creative, onto other acts of creativity than ejaculation.
In conclusion, it appears to me that Lowen is a radical who stifles his raw opinions so as not to be labeled a communist in New York in the 1970s. He’s a full-on Rousseauian, and has an overly romantic and naive view of primitive peoples and orientals. While he has a solid grasp on the relationship between the psycho and the somatic, as well as an interesting approach to psychotherapy, he presents only one side to the issue, only emphasizing the damage parents and society do to children, and only the damage of sexual suppression, not bothering to discuss boundaries, which is concerning and unhelpful.
April 14, 2023
Another wonderful book by Alexander Lowen. Read the "Narcissism" book, and feels like 20-30% of the content is highly similar, which is not a problem for me at all.
This book serves as a nice explainer regarding Reichian "armoring" and "character" concepts, without boring the reader or going into pseudointellectual concepts or made-up stories, hehehe..
The concept of "fate" is very interesting, that Lowen shares in the book. Totally opened my eyes to the concept of "character" in the Reichian sense. Makes tons of sense.
As with Lowen's Narcissism book, you won't find lots of "how-to"s or exercises, if you're looking for any. But as always, reading books like this helps you understand yourself, your story, the world, and whatever is much better, which acts as a healing faculty in itself.
Refer to the Undoing Yourself book by Hyatt, Command Z/Radical Undoing (Garrett Daun) on YouTube and the web, and Devaraj Sandberg (Bioenergetics.co.uk & YouTube) to explore Reichian bodywork.
This book serves as a nice explainer regarding Reichian "armoring" and "character" concepts, without boring the reader or going into pseudointellectual concepts or made-up stories, hehehe..
The concept of "fate" is very interesting, that Lowen shares in the book. Totally opened my eyes to the concept of "character" in the Reichian sense. Makes tons of sense.
As with Lowen's Narcissism book, you won't find lots of "how-to"s or exercises, if you're looking for any. But as always, reading books like this helps you understand yourself, your story, the world, and whatever is much better, which acts as a healing faculty in itself.
Refer to the Undoing Yourself book by Hyatt, Command Z/Radical Undoing (Garrett Daun) on YouTube and the web, and Devaraj Sandberg (Bioenergetics.co.uk & YouTube) to explore Reichian bodywork.
October 21, 2020
Interesting read.
A deep dive into the origins of neurotic behavior. I liked it a lot. A very unique approach to self realization. I would certainly benefit from some therapy sessions from this guy. I know I got a lot from this book.
A deep dive into the origins of neurotic behavior. I liked it a lot. A very unique approach to self realization. I would certainly benefit from some therapy sessions from this guy. I know I got a lot from this book.
April 5, 2022
Their is useful, helpfull advice and insight how our minds work and why it works that way. But god damn this man views on certain things are sooo old, and he keeps pushing it. I understand its his book but I didn't care for most of it.
June 12, 2012
I could identify so much with many of Lowen's accounts.
January 1, 2014
Sempre illuminante nella sua semplicità di comprensione. Nella speranza di imparare a fluire...
January 26, 2025
Highlights
Naturally, the more help they need to cope. Which is why there are more yoga and meditation coaches in the west than in the east – why there is more medicine and drug abuse – and why there are more societal problems at large.
All productive activities, such as preparing a meal, writing a book, or plowing a field, are aspects of doing. However, where pleasure is the dominant motivation, as in dancing or listening to music, the activity is in the being mode.
When an activity has the quality of flow, it belongs to being. When it has the quality of push, it belongs to doing. One pushes when the goal or end becomes more important than the process or the means. An activity that flows is always experienced pleasurably because it stems directly from a desire and leads to the satisfaction of the need. An activity in which push is required is painful because it is against one's desire and so requires a conscious effort through the use of the will.
When guilt or shame are attached to feelings, the conflict is internalized and creates a neurotic character.
When one stops struggling against fate, one loses his neurosis (internal conflict) and gains peace of mind.
Strangely, through the acceptance of failure, we become free from our neurosis.
Broadly speaking, character forms as a result of the conflict between nature and culture, between the instinctual needs of the child and the demands of the culture acting through the parents.
None are so blind as those who think they know.
He is indoctrinated with the idea that thinking is a superior virtue to feeling and that achievement is the goal of life. He doesn't sense the loss of freedom in being harnessed to the industrial system. Now, I am not advocating that we surrender our aspirations, deny our minds, and revert to being pure animals.
It is a paradox of life that freedom is dependent on boundaries and structure.
To live fully is to have all one's senses and feelings available for the experience of living.
Success and failure are not valid criteria for living.
On the deepest level this ego drive for power represents civilized man's desire to control life (nature and fate) because he is afraid of life.
Neurotics are always trying to change themselves by using willpower, but this only serves to make them more neurotic. Emotional health can be gained only through self-awareness and self-acceptance. Struggling to change one's being only enmeshes the person more deeply in the fate he is trying to avoid.
Naturally, the more help they need to cope. Which is why there are more yoga and meditation coaches in the west than in the east – why there is more medicine and drug abuse – and why there are more societal problems at large.
All productive activities, such as preparing a meal, writing a book, or plowing a field, are aspects of doing. However, where pleasure is the dominant motivation, as in dancing or listening to music, the activity is in the being mode.
When an activity has the quality of flow, it belongs to being. When it has the quality of push, it belongs to doing. One pushes when the goal or end becomes more important than the process or the means. An activity that flows is always experienced pleasurably because it stems directly from a desire and leads to the satisfaction of the need. An activity in which push is required is painful because it is against one's desire and so requires a conscious effort through the use of the will.
When guilt or shame are attached to feelings, the conflict is internalized and creates a neurotic character.
When one stops struggling against fate, one loses his neurosis (internal conflict) and gains peace of mind.
Strangely, through the acceptance of failure, we become free from our neurosis.
Broadly speaking, character forms as a result of the conflict between nature and culture, between the instinctual needs of the child and the demands of the culture acting through the parents.
None are so blind as those who think they know.
He is indoctrinated with the idea that thinking is a superior virtue to feeling and that achievement is the goal of life. He doesn't sense the loss of freedom in being harnessed to the industrial system. Now, I am not advocating that we surrender our aspirations, deny our minds, and revert to being pure animals.
It is a paradox of life that freedom is dependent on boundaries and structure.
To live fully is to have all one's senses and feelings available for the experience of living.
Success and failure are not valid criteria for living.
On the deepest level this ego drive for power represents civilized man's desire to control life (nature and fate) because he is afraid of life.
Neurotics are always trying to change themselves by using willpower, but this only serves to make them more neurotic. Emotional health can be gained only through self-awareness and self-acceptance. Struggling to change one's being only enmeshes the person more deeply in the fate he is trying to avoid.
March 10, 2019
This book opened me a door for a world I didn't knew existed.
I consider myself a guy geared for success? But why am I like that? What am I trying to prove? That I'm worthy of being accepted and loved? I don't know all the answers but at least I'm now aware of them.
Sometimes, when I'm the most externally successful, I feel like shit. And that's something that I never understood and made me depressed af. "Why am I feeling like this if I'm doing everything right?"
But the truth is that during those times I was working for the ego, that image of a greater me, but I was neglecting the body and the real me. I was mostly doing instead of being.
I can't recommend the book to everyone because it is very strong! And some people might not be able to take in this stuff lightly. But if you are really really committed to understand why you feel a certain way, destroy a big chunk of your belief system, pay the price with some depressing times, this book can make miracles.
But please do it when the time feels right for you. Because this can turn your world upside down. (Unless you're used to psychoanalysis)
The book if filled with very important paradoxes and contradictions that you must understand in order to live a more fulfilling life:
- You need to accept your fate, whatever it is, in order to change it. Don't try to change it. Just accept it the way it is.
"The defenses we erect to protect us create the very condition we are trying to avoid" "No person is free who is tied to a defensive position"
- If we want to feel we need to let go of control.
"Struggling against fate only enmeshes one more deeply in its coils."
I will not write more and let you read the book if you feel like.
I will be forever grateful for this because it helped me dissolve some character structures and made me aware of a lot of stuff that was buried deep in the unconscious. And because of that I will be able to work and live more in peace. While being able create more meaningful and fulfilling work providing more value to the world.
I consider myself a guy geared for success? But why am I like that? What am I trying to prove? That I'm worthy of being accepted and loved? I don't know all the answers but at least I'm now aware of them.
Sometimes, when I'm the most externally successful, I feel like shit. And that's something that I never understood and made me depressed af. "Why am I feeling like this if I'm doing everything right?"
But the truth is that during those times I was working for the ego, that image of a greater me, but I was neglecting the body and the real me. I was mostly doing instead of being.
I can't recommend the book to everyone because it is very strong! And some people might not be able to take in this stuff lightly. But if you are really really committed to understand why you feel a certain way, destroy a big chunk of your belief system, pay the price with some depressing times, this book can make miracles.
But please do it when the time feels right for you. Because this can turn your world upside down. (Unless you're used to psychoanalysis)
The book if filled with very important paradoxes and contradictions that you must understand in order to live a more fulfilling life:
- You need to accept your fate, whatever it is, in order to change it. Don't try to change it. Just accept it the way it is.
"The defenses we erect to protect us create the very condition we are trying to avoid" "No person is free who is tied to a defensive position"
- If we want to feel we need to let go of control.
"Struggling against fate only enmeshes one more deeply in its coils."
I will not write more and let you read the book if you feel like.
I will be forever grateful for this because it helped me dissolve some character structures and made me aware of a lot of stuff that was buried deep in the unconscious. And because of that I will be able to work and live more in peace. While being able create more meaningful and fulfilling work providing more value to the world.
April 26, 2021
I dont usually write reviews, but I was about to give a 4 star to this book because of Lowen's extremely simplistic approach to sociology and the motivations or stances of western civilization.
Of course, using that kind of interpretation for these matters works very well for the theme treated in this book, since everything points to where the author wants - but I cant help but see it as if Lowen was trying to fit into it his own political ideas (and his mentor's, Reich, from whom he probably got them). This is prominent in the 7th chapter, though it was the most interesting. Here are a few things I noticed in one part:
- "Conflict is more common in marriages than harmony. Why is this so? The patriarchal order is a vertical hierarchy of power and possessions. The individual at the top, a king or party leader, for example, has the most power, those lower in the hierarchy have less, and those at the bottom have the least or none. This hierarchy also existed in the family, with the father at the top, the mother below him, and the children at the bottom. At the high point in Roman civilization the father had absolute legal power of life and death over his wife and children. Legally, women have been second-class citizens until recently. The property of a married woman belonged to her husband. While much has changed, inequality still exists between the sexes." p.200
First of all, the patriarchal order is a pyramidal hierarchy of competence, responsibilities and duties, a place in which always comes along with power and rewards (possessions), which in MOST cases are used for the good of the system; of course this depends on how healthy, steady and truthful the system is, since just as every system, is upheld from us humans, imperfect beings.
Secondly, I dont know where he got the information about the temporal correlation between the high point of Roman civilization and the absolute power of men in their families; and even if it's true, it doesn't sound to me as a proper argument at all, but more as nit picking from history and completely out of context.
When speaking of women as second-class citizens "until recently", I assume he's talking about the 1980s in the USA, and then he goes on to say there's still "inequality between the sexes". Now I don't believe Lowen is comparing the situation of American women to that of other women around the world, but more to an ideal he righteously held. But why isn't he basing his judgement on the patriarchal system for example on the same predicament, why this double standard? Why not view at the ideal archetype or the pure form of the patriarchal system, and treat it in theory, but only choose negative examples?
And about what kind of equality is he speaking? Again, this is all an extremely broad and general point of view. Though it is of great value when talking about things in general, about society and the masses, I dont understand why Lowen chose to touch the topic so lightly from this delicate angle, while the whole book and the Bioenergetic approach treats the individual, in relation to his past and family.
Of course, the community and culture in which this individual is brought up is of essential importance, but again, that culture/system/community should be analyzed for it's specific manifestation in the situation presented, not for what it is in theory. While Lowen doesn't describe cases that differ in these factors, he goes on to involve their malfunctions for a mass diagnose to the whole Western civilization, completely ignoring all the other historical details that conditioned the West in behaving or developing in one way or another. All the while ignoring the shortcomings of humanity in all the other parts of the world, on the matter at hand.
Then he goes on to say:
- "Inequality mars the harmony of the man-woman relationship, which should be one of equal sharing in a common effort. The person who feels inferior is resentful of the one who has the superior position. This is especially true where ego consciousness is highly developed, as in our
culture... In the patriarchal family the inequality extended to sex. Women were subject to a double standard of morality that denied them the right to a full sexual life while it left men free to indulge their desires. The double standard was most strictly enforced in bourgeois society, where the
striving for ego enhancement, power, and possessions was greatest... The man had power through his control of the property, but the woman often countered by withholding her sexuality on the grounds of illness or indisposition... The woman could also threaten a man with unfaithfulness, which was a real blow to his ego." p.200-201
Lowen talks about men being free to indulge in whatever sexual activity they felt like, and women being denied a full sexual life (in the patriarchal family). Then he goes on to say that these women who were strictly enforced into this predicament, had the courage to threaten a man with unfaithfulness. This sounds like a contradiction. Either way, whoever has read enough authors or stories of that time frame know how things really went for the most part. Nothing has changed.
So here again, Lowen doesnt take a general approach when talking about the family in general, but touches on specific situations developed in a specific societal subgroup, in a specific historical period, and uses it to define every western family nowadays. We all know that no family or culture is perfect, that dynamics similar to those mentioned in the passage above happen everywhere, so why is Lowen deviating in order to take shots at the West again and again? What I'm asking is, why does he involve certain uncomfortable examples as strictly western, when they are for granted anywhere in the world (only with different details)? Why emphasize society in such a way in a book about a purely individual concern?
Though Western society is not perfect, it seems until now, from many stances, less deviated and unfair than most other societies or systems. Also, the ideologies driving these systems want to chain the masses into "order", but the difference can only be made on an individual level, and therapy is of crucial importance for this. Because of that, this book is a gem.
Of course, using that kind of interpretation for these matters works very well for the theme treated in this book, since everything points to where the author wants - but I cant help but see it as if Lowen was trying to fit into it his own political ideas (and his mentor's, Reich, from whom he probably got them). This is prominent in the 7th chapter, though it was the most interesting. Here are a few things I noticed in one part:
- "Conflict is more common in marriages than harmony. Why is this so? The patriarchal order is a vertical hierarchy of power and possessions. The individual at the top, a king or party leader, for example, has the most power, those lower in the hierarchy have less, and those at the bottom have the least or none. This hierarchy also existed in the family, with the father at the top, the mother below him, and the children at the bottom. At the high point in Roman civilization the father had absolute legal power of life and death over his wife and children. Legally, women have been second-class citizens until recently. The property of a married woman belonged to her husband. While much has changed, inequality still exists between the sexes." p.200
First of all, the patriarchal order is a pyramidal hierarchy of competence, responsibilities and duties, a place in which always comes along with power and rewards (possessions), which in MOST cases are used for the good of the system; of course this depends on how healthy, steady and truthful the system is, since just as every system, is upheld from us humans, imperfect beings.
Secondly, I dont know where he got the information about the temporal correlation between the high point of Roman civilization and the absolute power of men in their families; and even if it's true, it doesn't sound to me as a proper argument at all, but more as nit picking from history and completely out of context.
When speaking of women as second-class citizens "until recently", I assume he's talking about the 1980s in the USA, and then he goes on to say there's still "inequality between the sexes". Now I don't believe Lowen is comparing the situation of American women to that of other women around the world, but more to an ideal he righteously held. But why isn't he basing his judgement on the patriarchal system for example on the same predicament, why this double standard? Why not view at the ideal archetype or the pure form of the patriarchal system, and treat it in theory, but only choose negative examples?
And about what kind of equality is he speaking? Again, this is all an extremely broad and general point of view. Though it is of great value when talking about things in general, about society and the masses, I dont understand why Lowen chose to touch the topic so lightly from this delicate angle, while the whole book and the Bioenergetic approach treats the individual, in relation to his past and family.
Of course, the community and culture in which this individual is brought up is of essential importance, but again, that culture/system/community should be analyzed for it's specific manifestation in the situation presented, not for what it is in theory. While Lowen doesn't describe cases that differ in these factors, he goes on to involve their malfunctions for a mass diagnose to the whole Western civilization, completely ignoring all the other historical details that conditioned the West in behaving or developing in one way or another. All the while ignoring the shortcomings of humanity in all the other parts of the world, on the matter at hand.
Then he goes on to say:
- "Inequality mars the harmony of the man-woman relationship, which should be one of equal sharing in a common effort. The person who feels inferior is resentful of the one who has the superior position. This is especially true where ego consciousness is highly developed, as in our
culture... In the patriarchal family the inequality extended to sex. Women were subject to a double standard of morality that denied them the right to a full sexual life while it left men free to indulge their desires. The double standard was most strictly enforced in bourgeois society, where the
striving for ego enhancement, power, and possessions was greatest... The man had power through his control of the property, but the woman often countered by withholding her sexuality on the grounds of illness or indisposition... The woman could also threaten a man with unfaithfulness, which was a real blow to his ego." p.200-201
Lowen talks about men being free to indulge in whatever sexual activity they felt like, and women being denied a full sexual life (in the patriarchal family). Then he goes on to say that these women who were strictly enforced into this predicament, had the courage to threaten a man with unfaithfulness. This sounds like a contradiction. Either way, whoever has read enough authors or stories of that time frame know how things really went for the most part. Nothing has changed.
So here again, Lowen doesnt take a general approach when talking about the family in general, but touches on specific situations developed in a specific societal subgroup, in a specific historical period, and uses it to define every western family nowadays. We all know that no family or culture is perfect, that dynamics similar to those mentioned in the passage above happen everywhere, so why is Lowen deviating in order to take shots at the West again and again? What I'm asking is, why does he involve certain uncomfortable examples as strictly western, when they are for granted anywhere in the world (only with different details)? Why emphasize society in such a way in a book about a purely individual concern?
Though Western society is not perfect, it seems until now, from many stances, less deviated and unfair than most other societies or systems. Also, the ideologies driving these systems want to chain the masses into "order", but the difference can only be made on an individual level, and therapy is of crucial importance for this. Because of that, this book is a gem.
March 21, 2020
Our early experiences shape our personality, just like how a clay sculptor's fingers shape a vase, pushing a part here and flattening a piece there. In this book, alexander Lowen, a neo-Freudian psychoanalyst, argues that every individual has gone through life with specific traumatic experiences that shaped their personality in a manner that prevent them from enjoying life. Lowen believes that our entire psychological history is preserved and stored in the shape of our bodies. The shape of our body, its posture, the way we walk and hold ourselves are highly influenced and structured by our psychological experiences. He also says that all unconscious emotional conflicts are structured in the body in the form of chronic muscular tensions.
The role of therapy then is to unearth what these emotional conflicts are and then help the patient to solve them. What Lowen used to practice was called bioenergetic, which involves analyzing the psychological traumas, which led to these chronic muscular tensions, and then exercised the patient and pressed on the tensed muscle to release the tension. Lowen believes that everyone has these tensions, especially around the muscles of hips and neck and shoulder, and to live a fulfilling and orgastically potent life, everyone should go through therapy. And if you can't afford a therapist, well, you can read his book.
The role of therapy then is to unearth what these emotional conflicts are and then help the patient to solve them. What Lowen used to practice was called bioenergetic, which involves analyzing the psychological traumas, which led to these chronic muscular tensions, and then exercised the patient and pressed on the tensed muscle to release the tension. Lowen believes that everyone has these tensions, especially around the muscles of hips and neck and shoulder, and to live a fulfilling and orgastically potent life, everyone should go through therapy. And if you can't afford a therapist, well, you can read his book.
December 13, 2021
What got me to read this is its title. And although a well-suited title, the contents are far from what I expected.
Well written and thought out book on an under-appreciated perspective on mental illness (neurosis) that has its merits: looking at the mind's traumas as connected to the body, and vice versa. The main takeaway for me is it's not just body language that communicates our emotions. Even without me agreeing with the author on everything, stored emotions need to express themselves somehow, and it usually does by manifesting into a type of posture (chronic muscle contraction). Lowen goes into depth for each one, I just wish those examples were better organized. They felt like strings of thought jotted down on the spot by recollecting his decades of working with patients, yet there were a consistent 4 types of neurosis theme throughout the chapters.
Well written and thought out book on an under-appreciated perspective on mental illness (neurosis) that has its merits: looking at the mind's traumas as connected to the body, and vice versa. The main takeaway for me is it's not just body language that communicates our emotions. Even without me agreeing with the author on everything, stored emotions need to express themselves somehow, and it usually does by manifesting into a type of posture (chronic muscle contraction). Lowen goes into depth for each one, I just wish those examples were better organized. They felt like strings of thought jotted down on the spot by recollecting his decades of working with patients, yet there were a consistent 4 types of neurosis theme throughout the chapters.
October 21, 2022
Un libro difficile da "digerire ", specialmente nella prima metà, ma ricco di spunti di riflessione e affascinante. L'autore a tratti può risultare ripetitivo ma questo permette di assimilare meglio i concetti che intende spiegare. Sebbene risulti una lettura piuttosto scorrevole, prima di paroloni e termini tecnici troppo complicati per i non "addetti al settore" in diversi punti sembra essere più una lettura per professionisti che diretta e adatta ad un pubblico generico. Nonostante questo, mi sento lo stesso di consigliarla.
December 10, 2025
Loved this read - it is a treasury of wisdom. It is indeed a relevant read in the context of our modern life that is filled with the neurotic (ego-driven) struggle to achieve success.
It was just not easy to wrap my head around the oedipal conflict theory, especially in relation to my own childhood experiences, but I feel if we look at it through the lens of psychoanalysis, it does seem fair enough.
It was just not easy to wrap my head around the oedipal conflict theory, especially in relation to my own childhood experiences, but I feel if we look at it through the lens of psychoanalysis, it does seem fair enough.
March 25, 2021
Well, this was different!
I got this book as it was mentioned in some other that I was reading; as I started reading it, I really wondered why I was reading about Freudian Psychology. I kept reading because I haven’t put any attention to this material before. I’m glad that I am not trapped in the challenges of many of the subjects discussed herein. Life is good after all.
I got this book as it was mentioned in some other that I was reading; as I started reading it, I really wondered why I was reading about Freudian Psychology. I kept reading because I haven’t put any attention to this material before. I’m glad that I am not trapped in the challenges of many of the subjects discussed herein. Life is good after all.
January 7, 2023
Great book, it was interesting to see it is pretty much an "old" book from the 70s but still so relevant. It was indicated by my therapist but I highly recommend it to anyone interested in understanding their life and how your traumas have a heavy role in how you function.
April 11, 2023
Do not read this book if you are not willing to to be honest with yourself, this books works only if you acknowledge your own neurotic way of saying no to life.
I personally underline those phrases that makes click with me.
Very deep book.
I personally underline those phrases that makes click with me.
Very deep book.
October 20, 2024
La bioenergetica che scoperta! Sono sensazionali i racconti di Lowen mentre visita i suoi pazienti. C'è tantissimo da imparare e ci permette di fare collegamenti e riflessioni su noi stessi e i nostri cari.
Consigliatissimo, nonostante sia una lettura complessa.
Consigliatissimo, nonostante sia una lettura complessa.
July 21, 2025
Such a great book for exploring fear, what we're afraid of and why. I like that it's about accepting fear, accepting failure to ultimately accept ourselves. I love that it talks about the relationship between the mind and the body, and how he treats one with the other through bioenergetics
July 26, 2020
As someone who is interested in psychology but not so knowledgeable about it, this book wasa good approach to neurosis easy to digest. I think I'd like it even more if it was easier to follow.
October 31, 2022
A tratti mi è piaciuto, a tratti ho faticato ad entrarci in sintonia. Sicuramente è una descrizione attuale delle conseguenze patologiche del capitalismo/consumismo.
November 29, 2022
An insightful psychoanalytic analysis of neurotic issues with case studies. Would have benefitted more from including the exercises mentioned, which are contained in the author's other books.
June 25, 2024
Good book
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