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A Christ-Centered Wedding: Rejoicing in the Gospel on Your Big Day
Wedding planning has spawned a major industry. The average cost of the occasion now exceeds $25,000, and societal pressure to create the “perfect day” is so strong that even Christian couples forget what God originally intended for the sacred marriage ceremony. While paying attention to the good fun that follows that special proposal (the dress, the flowers, the cake, the gatherings, etc.), A Christ-Centered Wedding first serves as a guide to believers who want their wedding to portray the relationship of Christ with the church and to reflect the gospel to all in attendance. From the start, this thoughtful book looks to the Creator of weddings for guidance in planning by emphasizing the sacrificial love of the Savior more than the modern world’s idealistic view of romantic love. There are chapters filled with practical information about everything from pre-marital counseling and choosing a wedding location to other resources like a planning checklist and timeline, music suggestions, guidance on potential issues of conflict, a listing of traditional financial responsibilities, sample vows, and other great ideas from couples who have successfully put together a Christ-centered wedding.
213 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 9, 2014
36 people are currently reading
165 people want to read
About the author
Catherine Strode Parks
6 books21 followersCatherine Parks writes from home in Nashville, Tenn., where she lives with her husband, Erik, and their two children. She's the author of Real: The Surprising Secret of Deeper Relationships and A Christ-Centered Wedding. She blogs at www.cathparks.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
March 9, 2017
This is a breath of fresh air. Having just got engaged, there is plenty of advice about how to plan a wedding but Parks is consistent in showing how the Gospel can affect each part of the wedding. Her approach is respectfully hands-off, with firmer advice reserved only for those situations which justify it.
Two negative points were that the role of the husband was neglected and essentially assumed to be nonexistent and the cultural focus was exclusively on the US. As a future husband, I was surprised by the assumption that I would be disinterested in planning our wedding. Even if that is a cultural norm, I think the Gospel challenges that (especially in light of all that Parks writes). Also, Parks writes from her background living in the Southern US. She acknowledges that some of her comments might be odd to those from northern states but there was no effort to apply this to other countries. It would have been helpful to have a critique of other traditions.
I'm incredibly grateful for this book and especially for the opportunity to read it at the beginning of wedding planning and would recommend it to all Christians getting married.
Two negative points were that the role of the husband was neglected and essentially assumed to be nonexistent and the cultural focus was exclusively on the US. As a future husband, I was surprised by the assumption that I would be disinterested in planning our wedding. Even if that is a cultural norm, I think the Gospel challenges that (especially in light of all that Parks writes). Also, Parks writes from her background living in the Southern US. She acknowledges that some of her comments might be odd to those from northern states but there was no effort to apply this to other countries. It would have been helpful to have a critique of other traditions.
I'm incredibly grateful for this book and especially for the opportunity to read it at the beginning of wedding planning and would recommend it to all Christians getting married.
October 29, 2016
This book is excellent. There are some practical, thorough checklists; but more importantly there are principles to consider while planning a wedding. It is not a guidebook on how to do your wedding, but rather offers advice on how to approach the planning process--sharing the history of the traditions we've come to consider "essential" to a wedding, offering stories of ways people have done things differently, etc.
That being said...I finally finished reading this, five months after my wedding. Haha! Some of its advice was helpful as I planned our wedding; but I didn't start reading it until four months before the big day, which meant I quickly ran out of time to read a book about wedding planning because I was too busy wedding planning. Not everyone is as slow a reader as I am, but I'd recommend starting this book long before the four-month mark. There are things I'd do differently in retrospect, having finished the book now.
...In fact, if you're not married but you think there's even a hint of chance you'll get married some day, why not pick up a copy now? Having read it already, you can simply use it as a reference when the time comes; and there's practical stuff to consider if you're a guest and/or member of a wedding party.
That being said...I finally finished reading this, five months after my wedding. Haha! Some of its advice was helpful as I planned our wedding; but I didn't start reading it until four months before the big day, which meant I quickly ran out of time to read a book about wedding planning because I was too busy wedding planning. Not everyone is as slow a reader as I am, but I'd recommend starting this book long before the four-month mark. There are things I'd do differently in retrospect, having finished the book now.
...In fact, if you're not married but you think there's even a hint of chance you'll get married some day, why not pick up a copy now? Having read it already, you can simply use it as a reference when the time comes; and there's practical stuff to consider if you're a guest and/or member of a wedding party.
December 31, 2020
A good read as we prepare for my daughter's wedding to remind us that it is not about us at all. Parks looks at traditions and gives suggestions for using your wedding day to point the couple and your guests to Christ.
2020 A book about marriage or singleness
2020 A book about marriage or singleness
March 1, 2023
Quotes lots of John Piper and Timothy Keller, not much else on the theology of marriage. Some weird double standards and overall, I just didn't find it helpful for most aspects.
January 27, 2020
Not what I thought the book would be. I was looking for suggestions but only got a few takeaways. The suggestions were often really specific about unique weddings the authors have attended but these often did not apply to us. Also, I was excited about this book because I thought it would be more focused on the ceremony, but that was only a small portion of the book and that chapter in particular was not helpful. The book touches on every bit of planning from the day you're engaged so I spent most of the book waiting to get to the part about the ceremony. The book definitely emphasizes praying for every descision but I didn't need a book to tell me that.
July 3, 2021
A very excellent book on weddings and wedding planning that focuses on glorifying and magnifying God through all that we do. It is a wonderful combination of sound theology and practical advice, while directing our hearts and minds at the cross through it all.
I really appreciated the humility with which the authors approached this topic (which helped me approach this topic more humbly as well). And they really emphasized grace over having a set of rules to produce the perfect wedding, since our earthly weddings only point to the one perfect wedding that is to come.
I really appreciated the humility with which the authors approached this topic (which helped me approach this topic more humbly as well). And they really emphasized grace over having a set of rules to produce the perfect wedding, since our earthly weddings only point to the one perfect wedding that is to come.
April 5, 2018
Any Christian who is planning a wedding or soon to be planning a wedding should read this book! It does not give lists of what you should and should not do, but provides suggestions, real life experiences, and historic backgrounds for many practices to allow you to then decide how you want your own wedding to play out and what message you want your wedding to send. The one thing it does make clear though is that the wedding day is NOT all about the bride, but is an opportunity to "proclaim and rejoice in what it took to bring you to that place- God's gracious saving work through Christ."
July 11, 2021
It’s easy to find Christian books on marriage, but less easy to find one centered on the wedding day itself. This offered lots of solid practical advice on how to make every aspect of the day point to the Gospel (and did so without being cheesy - bravo!). Definitely something I’d recommend to other believers!
Read
February 28, 2022I wish that this book had been around when I had been planning a wedding all those years ago. The book is practically grounded in solid theological principals and includes the entire thought process around choices made for a day which secular society has turned into something God did not intend for it to be. I did find some of the topics very 'American' or 1st world. Items such as rehearsal dinners, gift registries and weekends away seem totally unrealistic, impractical and even irrelevant to Christians who don't live in the society the authors come from. Having said that, the book is definitely worth the read, I did enjoy it and would highly recommend it to young Christians getting married.
June 12, 2025
Just in time lol
January 26, 2020
I read this book for a wedding I performed in January 2020.
I like the central focus of this book: how do you organise your wedding day in such a way that Jesus gets the glory?
This means that couples - not just the pastor - ask themselves the question how the gospel can be heard and seen in the way they organise the entire day, not only the church service.
The book is very helpful to help couples to make their day Christ-centered. It discusses every part of the wedding day and its preparations and shows how a focus on Christ can change each of them. Wow!
# Why would you want to have a Christ-centered marriage + wedding day?
This is the first part of the book. It lays a biblical foundation:
First, there is the foundation in Genesis: marriage is God’s idea.
Another foundational passage is the mystery Paul expresses in Ephesians 5,22-33: marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church.
Christians should therefore live their married lives with Christ at the center, realising that they both are part of the bride of Christ. This helps them to live humble, repentant lives of service to each other.
However, this can and should begin at the wedding day and its preparations. What a great opportunity to tell and show everyone who attends your wedding that Jesus is central for you and that you live by grace.
One clear difference the book brings out: the bride should have this attitude: ‘my big day’ is not about me. The bride’s mother can change her focus, too: this day is not to impress my relatives and friends who attend the wedding of my daughter. I should be helping my daughter to have a Christ-centered wedding day.
The book also brings out that one of the best things parents can do is to provide spiritual support and prayer in the months leading up to the wedding, instead of trying to influence their children to do the wedding ‘their way’.
You see, the book has many areas of practical application. I recommend that every couple read it before they start planning their wedding day. From marriage counseling, invitations, rehearsal dinners, vinvolvement of parents - you name it, everything gets due attention.
It will help both couples and pastors who perform weddings and provide marriage counseling.
I like the central focus of this book: how do you organise your wedding day in such a way that Jesus gets the glory?
This means that couples - not just the pastor - ask themselves the question how the gospel can be heard and seen in the way they organise the entire day, not only the church service.
The book is very helpful to help couples to make their day Christ-centered. It discusses every part of the wedding day and its preparations and shows how a focus on Christ can change each of them. Wow!
# Why would you want to have a Christ-centered marriage + wedding day?
This is the first part of the book. It lays a biblical foundation:
First, there is the foundation in Genesis: marriage is God’s idea.
Another foundational passage is the mystery Paul expresses in Ephesians 5,22-33: marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church.
Christians should therefore live their married lives with Christ at the center, realising that they both are part of the bride of Christ. This helps them to live humble, repentant lives of service to each other.
However, this can and should begin at the wedding day and its preparations. What a great opportunity to tell and show everyone who attends your wedding that Jesus is central for you and that you live by grace.
One clear difference the book brings out: the bride should have this attitude: ‘my big day’ is not about me. The bride’s mother can change her focus, too: this day is not to impress my relatives and friends who attend the wedding of my daughter. I should be helping my daughter to have a Christ-centered wedding day.
The book also brings out that one of the best things parents can do is to provide spiritual support and prayer in the months leading up to the wedding, instead of trying to influence their children to do the wedding ‘their way’.
You see, the book has many areas of practical application. I recommend that every couple read it before they start planning their wedding day. From marriage counseling, invitations, rehearsal dinners, vinvolvement of parents - you name it, everything gets due attention.
It will help both couples and pastors who perform weddings and provide marriage counseling.
March 19, 2022
2.5*
The book, for the most part, leads the readers to focus on the Gospel as they plan their wedding. This is great! I highly recommend it to mature, discerning believers. However, I hesitated to even give this book 3 stars because of two things that are dangerous to teach to young Christians:
1. Two men, Byron Yawn and Tullian Tchivijian, she quoted a few times as a source of wisdom in marriage have both fallen morally. Not just in a small way, but both had very scandalous and public adulteries and abuse of power while serving as pastors in their respective churches. Though what they said were ok, it would've been better if the author had updated the book to use better resources.
2. This quote from Loc 937 on the Kindle version:
So can our actions please Him after salvation? Hebrews 11:6 says, "Without faith it is impossible to please Him." It is faith in Him and the restful act of abiding in Him (John 15) that makes our lives pleasing to Him. As we submit our lives and our wills to Him, obedience in love supernaturally flows out of us.
After realizing the author highly regarded the two men in my first point, this quote didn't come as a surprise. It is the message of the "hyper-grace" movement that has been infiltrating the evangelical churches in the last several years. Simply put, hyper-grace believes that we just need to bask in our position and identity in Christ for our sanctification and not worry about the imperatives that are everywhere in the Bible.
Both Byron and Tullian were main proponents of it. It is not hard to see why they fell miserably into sin. And this quote discourages actions and the pursuit of holiness. That is an unwise advice to give young couples.
For more on hyper-grace, read this article
https://www.gotquestions.org/hyper-gr...
The book, for the most part, leads the readers to focus on the Gospel as they plan their wedding. This is great! I highly recommend it to mature, discerning believers. However, I hesitated to even give this book 3 stars because of two things that are dangerous to teach to young Christians:
1. Two men, Byron Yawn and Tullian Tchivijian, she quoted a few times as a source of wisdom in marriage have both fallen morally. Not just in a small way, but both had very scandalous and public adulteries and abuse of power while serving as pastors in their respective churches. Though what they said were ok, it would've been better if the author had updated the book to use better resources.
2. This quote from Loc 937 on the Kindle version:
So can our actions please Him after salvation? Hebrews 11:6 says, "Without faith it is impossible to please Him." It is faith in Him and the restful act of abiding in Him (John 15) that makes our lives pleasing to Him. As we submit our lives and our wills to Him, obedience in love supernaturally flows out of us.
After realizing the author highly regarded the two men in my first point, this quote didn't come as a surprise. It is the message of the "hyper-grace" movement that has been infiltrating the evangelical churches in the last several years. Simply put, hyper-grace believes that we just need to bask in our position and identity in Christ for our sanctification and not worry about the imperatives that are everywhere in the Bible.
Both Byron and Tullian were main proponents of it. It is not hard to see why they fell miserably into sin. And this quote discourages actions and the pursuit of holiness. That is an unwise advice to give young couples.
For more on hyper-grace, read this article
https://www.gotquestions.org/hyper-gr...
February 25, 2018
This book was helpful and practical, but it placed quite a bit of pressure on making the day perfect. Though I'm sure it was not the intent of the author, I found myself stressed and constantly analyzing everything we're doing for our wedding (I'm getting married next month) and whether it meets the author's standards.
It may have been because I have had a short engagement with little time to think so deeply about some of these traditions, but I realized aspects I wasn't incorporating that the author was saying were priorities. In that sense, it was more stressful than helpful.
Also, while I understand the purpose of the book is to focus on the wedding day specifically, there is little about *marriage*. I know it's not a marriage book, but the book at times felt more like a distraction from the main purpose of the marriage as a whole.
There were a lot of practical ideas and suggestions, though, which I did find beneficial.
It may have been because I have had a short engagement with little time to think so deeply about some of these traditions, but I realized aspects I wasn't incorporating that the author was saying were priorities. In that sense, it was more stressful than helpful.
Also, while I understand the purpose of the book is to focus on the wedding day specifically, there is little about *marriage*. I know it's not a marriage book, but the book at times felt more like a distraction from the main purpose of the marriage as a whole.
There were a lot of practical ideas and suggestions, though, which I did find beneficial.
April 7, 2018
This book does a good job of explaining the gospel reasoning behind some of the customs in a Christian wedding. However, there wasn’t much I felt that I hadn’t heard before. It was a good heart check, but wasn’t as helpful as I had hoped. It does say no wedding is perfect and recommends avoiding high pressure in planning, but I found it putting pressure on perfection in a wedding from the church perspective. It presents the wedding as your ultimate chance to witness to everyone you know, but fails to speak about how you can continue to do that after your wedding in the way you live your married life together. It is the start in your married ministry, not the culmination of it.
January 17, 2017
I'm so glad I picked up this book! At first I almost didn't get it thinking "How hard could it be to plan a wedding that it directly Christ centered?" For some reason I still got it. And let me tell you, many of the things I thought I wanted in my wedding in September were not things I really wanted. Either I just wanted it because others I knew wanted it, or that it's something "everyone else does!" I think every Christian bride-to-be would find this book very useful in planning their big day.
Read
February 2, 2015A really helpful book to get you thinking about your wedding in a godly, gospel centred way. It was a welcome break to turn away from the constant pressure of the wedding industry to focus on myself towards this book with it's relentless focus on God's glory in the gospel. A great encouragement in a busy time to think carefully about the choices we make.
January 2, 2021
"As you long for your wedding day, may you long even more for Christ's return."
--
If you would have told me on January 1, 2020 that I would be planning my wedding before the end of the year, I probably would have advised you not to quit your day job.
--
But a lot can change in 12 months and never has that been more true than in 2020. This year brought really big changes for not only me personally, but for the entire human race.
--
I don't think there is a single person in the world whose life didn't change due to the COVID19 response.
--
As Phil and I continue to talk and pray about what our wedding will look like in the face of COVID challenges, this book helped me gain a lot of perspective. Things I thought I couldn't get married without now seem easier to let go of because I'm reminded that marriage was Gods idea, not mine. The most important thing is that He is glorified by the commitment we are making and that can happen no matter the venue or number of guests in attendance.
--
I wish I had started reading this earlier on in my engagement and highly recommend this book to anyone planning a wedding.
--
If you would have told me on January 1, 2020 that I would be planning my wedding before the end of the year, I probably would have advised you not to quit your day job.
--
But a lot can change in 12 months and never has that been more true than in 2020. This year brought really big changes for not only me personally, but for the entire human race.
--
I don't think there is a single person in the world whose life didn't change due to the COVID19 response.
--
As Phil and I continue to talk and pray about what our wedding will look like in the face of COVID challenges, this book helped me gain a lot of perspective. Things I thought I couldn't get married without now seem easier to let go of because I'm reminded that marriage was Gods idea, not mine. The most important thing is that He is glorified by the commitment we are making and that can happen no matter the venue or number of guests in attendance.
--
I wish I had started reading this earlier on in my engagement and highly recommend this book to anyone planning a wedding.
February 25, 2018
I'm not about to get married but our family thought it would be good to talk over some of the questions before they actually are relevant. Much of the book was quite good, and cool to talk about. It wasn't as God Centered as I thought it was going to be. There were a few chapters in the middle all about the multiple bridal showers, bucks parties, hens nights ect. Notice the 's' on the end of those words. I don't see how things like that can be said to not be about you and getting stuff. But apart from those chapters and the overall low standard it was really good to think about and I will probably go over some of those questions again when it actually comes to planning my wedding, Lord willing.
April 27, 2019
I am SO grateful for this book! The wedding industry is extremely broken, and is a clear spiritual battle ground for believers. This book hold truths that are essential to win the battle. This book brought conviction to where I was making my wedding about myself and offered creative solutions to make Christ the center of the day.
July 8, 2020
"There are two occasions in our lives that give us an incredible opportunity to publicly reflect the gospel to our family, friends, and coworkers-weddings and funerals."
This book was extremely helpful in showing how to enjoy and reflect the gospel not only in the wedding day but in the planning process. It has a firm theological foundation and tons of practical ideas.
This book was extremely helpful in showing how to enjoy and reflect the gospel not only in the wedding day but in the planning process. It has a firm theological foundation and tons of practical ideas.
April 15, 2020
Not your typical religious marriage book. Very helpful breakdown of how to make sure your wedding is centered on God. The author provides a great overview of each event before and during the wedding with helpful tips and examples from other authors. This book is a must read!
April 24, 2020
Intensely practical, helpful, and drenched in freedom and ways to love and serve everyone well. So grateful for this resource and will be giving it away as wedding gifts in the future!
July 25, 2023
This book changed my whole view on my upcoming wedding.
October 29, 2023
Very helpful resource. Recommend to read at the start of wedding planning.
January 21, 2024
A perfect blend of theoretical and practical. I will definitely recommend this to couples in the future. Even ministers can pull some wisdom from here that they may not hear otherwise. Even if you don't share the author's views, it will get your critically thinking about core issues of preparing for your wedding (and marriage).
November 12, 2014
Since June, I have been in wedding planning mode. There's so much to get ready. I've looked at several wedding planners, and even purchased one, but I had been lamenting the one thing I wish I had: a guidebook to help make sure that the wedding is a Christian one. So many times we go to weddings, and no matter how much money spent or time planning, after a few years they seem blur into another wedding in our memory. Fourteen years ago, I went to a wedding that was the most Christian wedding I'd ever been to. I'd been hoping I could find a copy of my friends' wedding tape because I still couldn't remember what all was done except that it was a beautiful faith based wedding.
I didn't need to find a copy of their wedding tape because I decided to read A Christ Centered Wedding. This book had everything that I've been wishing for -- from advice on the ceremony, the dresses, to the reception. After reading the section on the bouquet and garter toss, my fiance and I decided that's one tradition we want to forgo, especially because I'm an older bride and I don't want to give the indication that women need to be married to be complete. We are using the suggestion for the bouquet toss with a twist mentioned in the book, and I already have friends looking forward to this. (You need to read the book to find out this fantastic suggestion.)
I grew up in a church that frowned upon dancing. I've never danced. Many of my friends would be uncomfortable at a reception with dancing. Yet, I've already received some grief about this decision. This book is absolutely fitting with the way I am approaching my wedding planning -- I want people to remember what is there, not what is missing. I want my guests to come away from the wedding talking about the unique and fun things we planned and not saying, "But there was no dancing. Where was the alcohol?" A friend had been saying we should have an alternative to a first dance, and using the suggestions from this book, we're going to do a video presentation of photos of us growing up set to Christian music. (Just as the book suggests, they won't all be good photos. My fiance has been grabbing some where I really have the 1980s perm going on and laughing at how ridiculous I looked! Yes, some of them will be included because after all, the younger crowd will think how ugly those geometric sweaters were -- and they will have a great laugh as will I.)
We are having a budget wedding. (Under $5,000, hopefully less.) There have been a few things I haven't wanted to skimp on that aren't traditional in this area. (But then again, I remember the days where wedding receptions were punch and mints in the dank church basement after the ceremony and entertainment was watching the bride and groom open wedding gifts.) This book helped me realize that if there is something that I would like to do, it's not really a waste of money if we are showing love and appreciation to our guests. This makes me feel so much better because I do want to stretch every wedding dollar we have.
The pastor of our church said the only time he would say no to a wedding is if we wanted to do it on Sunday morning and then he grinned and said, "Well, under certain circumstances I'd allow it". My goal for my wedding is for people to realize they have been in a worship service, just one packaged a little differently on a Saturday afternoon. This book will help us have the wedding we want. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is wanting to have a true Christ honoring wedding, and I've been telling friends about it -- both married and single. I'm so glad a book like this has been written to fill what I was beginning to think was a gap in all the bridal books!
FTC disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.
I didn't need to find a copy of their wedding tape because I decided to read A Christ Centered Wedding. This book had everything that I've been wishing for -- from advice on the ceremony, the dresses, to the reception. After reading the section on the bouquet and garter toss, my fiance and I decided that's one tradition we want to forgo, especially because I'm an older bride and I don't want to give the indication that women need to be married to be complete. We are using the suggestion for the bouquet toss with a twist mentioned in the book, and I already have friends looking forward to this. (You need to read the book to find out this fantastic suggestion.)
I grew up in a church that frowned upon dancing. I've never danced. Many of my friends would be uncomfortable at a reception with dancing. Yet, I've already received some grief about this decision. This book is absolutely fitting with the way I am approaching my wedding planning -- I want people to remember what is there, not what is missing. I want my guests to come away from the wedding talking about the unique and fun things we planned and not saying, "But there was no dancing. Where was the alcohol?" A friend had been saying we should have an alternative to a first dance, and using the suggestions from this book, we're going to do a video presentation of photos of us growing up set to Christian music. (Just as the book suggests, they won't all be good photos. My fiance has been grabbing some where I really have the 1980s perm going on and laughing at how ridiculous I looked! Yes, some of them will be included because after all, the younger crowd will think how ugly those geometric sweaters were -- and they will have a great laugh as will I.)
We are having a budget wedding. (Under $5,000, hopefully less.) There have been a few things I haven't wanted to skimp on that aren't traditional in this area. (But then again, I remember the days where wedding receptions were punch and mints in the dank church basement after the ceremony and entertainment was watching the bride and groom open wedding gifts.) This book helped me realize that if there is something that I would like to do, it's not really a waste of money if we are showing love and appreciation to our guests. This makes me feel so much better because I do want to stretch every wedding dollar we have.
The pastor of our church said the only time he would say no to a wedding is if we wanted to do it on Sunday morning and then he grinned and said, "Well, under certain circumstances I'd allow it". My goal for my wedding is for people to realize they have been in a worship service, just one packaged a little differently on a Saturday afternoon. This book will help us have the wedding we want. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is wanting to have a true Christ honoring wedding, and I've been telling friends about it -- both married and single. I'm so glad a book like this has been written to fill what I was beginning to think was a gap in all the bridal books!
FTC disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.
August 23, 2014
Some good practical suggestions, but very much a neo-Reformed Evangelical perspective on theology.
First, the good. There is a lot in this book that can be quite useful in planning a church-based wedding. There are checklists and practical suggestions for bit and little things that go into having a successful wedding and reception. The reminder that the wedding "isn't all about you" but a bringing together of two families, friends, and acquaintances into the sphere of the divine is valuable. The advice that a meaningful wedding is far more important than a lavish one is good. The warning that there is no such things as a perfect wedding is important to keep in mind. The best practical advice given may be to never go into debt to pay for a wedding (both the couple and their families).
Now the not so good.
The quoted works and end notes read like a who's who of neo-Reformed theology. There is Piper, and Keller, and Challies among this list.
The "gospel" is defined by the authors of this book as Christ's sacrifice and love for his people and his people's submission to Christ. Marriage is a pattern of the gospel and therefore the husband is to lead sacrificially and the wife is to respect her husand and submit to him. This is a classic patriarchal, complementarian view with which I and other Christian egalitarians have major issues. There is insufficient space here, nor is this the right forum to discuss all the problems.
The rest of the book is about how every step of the wedding process, from engagement through the planning, to the ceremony, and into the reception, should be a vehicle for proclaiming this "gospel." My thought as I read through the book was that if a couple was as intentional and explicit in "proclaiming the gospel" through their wedding process as is described and recommended in the book, the only people left to willingly attend the wedding would be like-minded folks. I can sort of understand that this is the evangelical mindset, but if I, as a Christian, albeit non-evangelical, think this is way over the top, what would non-Christians think?
The book disavows legalism, yet like many evangelical life application books, it gives many principles which sound like rules. The authors are explicit and careful to state that these are merely suggestions, but in the end, they are strongly recommended. Whether intended or not, it implies that "real" Christians will want to follow these principles and by not following them, a person can end up with guilt feelings. Now when I say this I may be projecting from my own conservative/semi-fundamentalist background.
Some examples of principles/rules/suggestions:
* Omit unbelievers from the wedding party
* Don't leave children up on the platform because with their antics they will distract from the gospel proclamation
* Make sure to have someone, if not you, explain the gospel during the reception, too
* Find alternatives to the boquet and garter toss because they aren't fitting for Christians
Even though I rate the book fairly low, I do recommend it for the more practical, planning tips and lists. I don't think I've seen such a comprehensive set found in one place before. I myself will skip the theology and suggestions that are based on them.
First, the good. There is a lot in this book that can be quite useful in planning a church-based wedding. There are checklists and practical suggestions for bit and little things that go into having a successful wedding and reception. The reminder that the wedding "isn't all about you" but a bringing together of two families, friends, and acquaintances into the sphere of the divine is valuable. The advice that a meaningful wedding is far more important than a lavish one is good. The warning that there is no such things as a perfect wedding is important to keep in mind. The best practical advice given may be to never go into debt to pay for a wedding (both the couple and their families).
Now the not so good.
The quoted works and end notes read like a who's who of neo-Reformed theology. There is Piper, and Keller, and Challies among this list.
The "gospel" is defined by the authors of this book as Christ's sacrifice and love for his people and his people's submission to Christ. Marriage is a pattern of the gospel and therefore the husband is to lead sacrificially and the wife is to respect her husand and submit to him. This is a classic patriarchal, complementarian view with which I and other Christian egalitarians have major issues. There is insufficient space here, nor is this the right forum to discuss all the problems.
The rest of the book is about how every step of the wedding process, from engagement through the planning, to the ceremony, and into the reception, should be a vehicle for proclaiming this "gospel." My thought as I read through the book was that if a couple was as intentional and explicit in "proclaiming the gospel" through their wedding process as is described and recommended in the book, the only people left to willingly attend the wedding would be like-minded folks. I can sort of understand that this is the evangelical mindset, but if I, as a Christian, albeit non-evangelical, think this is way over the top, what would non-Christians think?
The book disavows legalism, yet like many evangelical life application books, it gives many principles which sound like rules. The authors are explicit and careful to state that these are merely suggestions, but in the end, they are strongly recommended. Whether intended or not, it implies that "real" Christians will want to follow these principles and by not following them, a person can end up with guilt feelings. Now when I say this I may be projecting from my own conservative/semi-fundamentalist background.
Some examples of principles/rules/suggestions:
* Omit unbelievers from the wedding party
* Don't leave children up on the platform because with their antics they will distract from the gospel proclamation
* Make sure to have someone, if not you, explain the gospel during the reception, too
* Find alternatives to the boquet and garter toss because they aren't fitting for Christians
Even though I rate the book fairly low, I do recommend it for the more practical, planning tips and lists. I don't think I've seen such a comprehensive set found in one place before. I myself will skip the theology and suggestions that are based on them.
August 28, 2014
As Christians we are called the bride of Christ. Even in all of our flawed earthly bodies God has chosen to use the institution of marriage as a glimpse of the perfect marriage with our perfect groom, Christ. With that in mind we often set out to make our wedding ceremonies reflect our longing and desire for a Christ-centered life.
If you are already married or well into the planning process you know first hand how out of control all the planning and preparations can become. What happened to that simple ceremony declaring that we are Christ followers and are now joining as one to honor and serve Him in our home? Sure we want it to be memorable as well as beautiful, but it can also be meaningful and held in check to accomplish what the ceremony is meant to do.
Linda and Catherine have put together a wonderful book full of great suggestions and resources for you to draw upon. They have used their own experiences as well as those of others who have chosen to honor Christ on this very special of days. What sets this book apart from others is that it isn't just a great big to do list. The introduction sets the tone of the whole book by reminding you that there really are only a couple of times in your life that you will have the opportunity to unabashedly share the gospel with your friends and family. Those occasions are weddings and funerals. In the first couple of chapters they go through the "best marriage ever" and discuss the bride of Christ and the gospel. I personally loved this background because it was a gentle yet powerful reminder of what the true purpose of marriage is.
The following chapters will then begin to walk you through everything from engagement, pre-marital counseling, bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, reception and everything in between. As I said earlier it isn't a to do list, instead it is more a conversation about what they have heard about that works. One of the most fascinating concepts that they covered was called a reverse ceremony. The description was intriguing and I thought it could be particularly moving.
If you are a soon to be bride, mother of the bride, or even a mother and daughter that assume that you have a wedding in your future, I would recommend this book. It is a beautiful look at how we can honor Christ while committing to the one our heart loves.
I received a copy of this book to facilitate my review.
If you are already married or well into the planning process you know first hand how out of control all the planning and preparations can become. What happened to that simple ceremony declaring that we are Christ followers and are now joining as one to honor and serve Him in our home? Sure we want it to be memorable as well as beautiful, but it can also be meaningful and held in check to accomplish what the ceremony is meant to do.
Linda and Catherine have put together a wonderful book full of great suggestions and resources for you to draw upon. They have used their own experiences as well as those of others who have chosen to honor Christ on this very special of days. What sets this book apart from others is that it isn't just a great big to do list. The introduction sets the tone of the whole book by reminding you that there really are only a couple of times in your life that you will have the opportunity to unabashedly share the gospel with your friends and family. Those occasions are weddings and funerals. In the first couple of chapters they go through the "best marriage ever" and discuss the bride of Christ and the gospel. I personally loved this background because it was a gentle yet powerful reminder of what the true purpose of marriage is.
The following chapters will then begin to walk you through everything from engagement, pre-marital counseling, bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, reception and everything in between. As I said earlier it isn't a to do list, instead it is more a conversation about what they have heard about that works. One of the most fascinating concepts that they covered was called a reverse ceremony. The description was intriguing and I thought it could be particularly moving.
If you are a soon to be bride, mother of the bride, or even a mother and daughter that assume that you have a wedding in your future, I would recommend this book. It is a beautiful look at how we can honor Christ while committing to the one our heart loves.
I received a copy of this book to facilitate my review.
April 7, 2016
A wedding can be one of the most beautiful moments in a couple's life. For Christians the stress and financial burden of the wedding can overshadow the emphasis on Christ in the marriage and the faith that the couple hopes to bring to their union. The authors have taken some time to share ideas, thoughts and stories with couples planning their wedding to help make it less stressful and more Christ centered.
I was very impressed with this book. The focus of the book was on Christ and how to show Him to not only the couple getting married, but also to the wedding party and guests. The book was filled with helpful suggestions, meaningful thoughts, and stories from other couples who've been down this path already. It touched on so many aspects of the journey to the alter. The layout was simple and easy to read. And while this is an instructional book, I also enjoyed reading it. The authors clearly put a lot of time, research, and effort into making this a must read book for every Christian couple getting ready to get married.
I received this book free of charge from Shelton Interactive in exchange for my honest review.
I was very impressed with this book. The focus of the book was on Christ and how to show Him to not only the couple getting married, but also to the wedding party and guests. The book was filled with helpful suggestions, meaningful thoughts, and stories from other couples who've been down this path already. It touched on so many aspects of the journey to the alter. The layout was simple and easy to read. And while this is an instructional book, I also enjoyed reading it. The authors clearly put a lot of time, research, and effort into making this a must read book for every Christian couple getting ready to get married.
I received this book free of charge from Shelton Interactive in exchange for my honest review.
September 4, 2014
Catherine Strode Parks and Linda Strode, mother and daughter, co-wrote "A Christ-Centered Wedding", as a guidebook for couples who want to use their wedding to present the gospel. After reading this book I passed it on to a friend who is getting married soon because I felt this would be useful for her. There are so many useful ideas for putting together a wedding that centers around Christ. Which is something many brides don't honestly think about when they are planning their big day.Strode and Parks helps you stay organized and focused which is not easy when planning a wedding. "A Christ-Centered Wedding" is an extremely valuable resource in planning a wedding.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Shelton Interactive, as part of their Book Review Blogger Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Shelton Interactive, as part of their Book Review Blogger Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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