Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing, and Hope

by Karamo Brown, Jancee Dunn

When Karamo Brown first auditioned for the casting directors of Netflix’s Queer Eye, he knew he wouldn’t win the role of culture expert by discussing art and theater. Instead he decided to redefine what ‘culture’ could — and should — mean for the show. He took a risk and declared, ‘I am culture.’

Karamo believes that culture is so much more than art museums and the ballet — it’s how people feel about themselves and others, how they relate to the world around them, and how their shared labels, burdens, and experiences affect their daily lives in ways both subtle and profound. Seen through this lens, Karamo is culture: His family is Jamaican and Cuban; he was raised in the South in predominantly white neighborhoods and attended a HBCU (Historically Black College/University); he was trained as a social worker and psychotherapist; he overcame personal issues of colorism, physical and emotional abuse, alcohol and drug addiction, and public infamy; he is a proud and dedicated gay single father of two boys, one biological and one adopted. It is by discussing deep subjects like these, he feels, that the makeovers on the show can attain their full, lasting meaning. Styling your hair is important, but so is figuring out why you haven’t done so in 20 years!

In this eye-opening and moving memoir, Karamo reflects on his lifelong education. It comprises every adversity he has overcome, as well as the lessons he has learned along the way. It is only by exploring our difficulties and having the hard conversations—with ourselves and one another—that we are able to adjust our mind-sets, heal emotionally, and move forward to live our best lives.

Karamo shows us the way.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, LGBT, Biography, Biography Memoir, Queer

289 pages, Hardcover

First published March 5, 2019

About the author

Karamo Brown is an American television host, reality television personality, psychotherapist, and activist. Brown began his career in 2004 on the MTV reality show The Real World: Philadelphia. He currently stars as the culture expert in the Netflix series Queer Eye.

Reviews

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

I went into this book with an open mind. I thought that reading Karamo's story might give me more insight into him as a person and help me better appreciate his role on Queer Eye. Instead, it kind of made me like him even less.

His story is filled with times when he has done wrong--been a drug addict, oversexed, and an abuser--but each time he seemed to skate by consequence-free. He never seems to take responsibility for his actions and often slyly explains them away by blaming some external factor ('No one told me to stop doing drugs'; 'I was playing into an archetype'; 'My dad abused my mom so...'). Other times when he faced challenges, he just... resolved to make a change, right there on the spot. He's "decisive," which he will remind you half a dozen times here.

I didn't find this book to be insightful, authentic, or inspiring. And perhaps worst of all, the writing was amateurish and very poorly edited, like it was self-published fan fiction. My ultimate takeaway after reading this is that Karamo is an expert in only one thing: irrational, unwavering confidence. It's gotten him this far, I guess.

[Brandice · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I heard Karamo Brown had a book coming out, I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d read it. Since I first watched the Netflix reboot of Queer Eye last year, I’ve been a huge fan of him, the show’s resident culture expert. Culture goes far beyond the arts, music, and hobbies, and Karamo helps reinforce this by digging deep into the emotions of each of the heroes on the show.

Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing, and Hope is a memoir. Karamo details his childhood, adolescent years, and some adult life, including both personal and professional aspects. The tone is genuine and relatable. Karamo has struggled with family issues, addiction issues, and became a father at a young age, though he didn’t find out about his son until later in life. He has, for the most part, maintained a determined spirit while overcoming numerous challenges to help achieve his goals.

”To have a happy life, it takes effort. It takes maintenance. It takes gratitude for what you have. It takes checking in with yourself and with others.”

There’s something for everyone in this book. Karamo reminds us it is ok to ask for help, to be vulnerable, and to forgive. These things are all part of the process of growth and it’s important to remain true to yourself along the way.

”I decided to forgive myself. I’ve learned over the years that we become emotional wrecks when we don’t forgive ourselves for the things in our lives that we couldn’t control or didn’t turn out the way we want them to. So it was important to let it go. I had stayed true to myself. That’s all that matters.”

[Sahitya · Rating 4 out of 5]

TW: domestic abuse, addiction, depression, suicide

I loved reading Tan’s memoir Naturally Tan just a couple of weeks ago but I had completely forgotten that Karamo’s memoir was already out until I saw his interview with Trevor Noah. And I think I did the perfect thing deciding to listen to the audiobook because this was a wonderful experience.

As the title suggests, this book is Karamo’s story of personal growth, healing and hope. It’s not told in a clearly chronological manner but each chapter deals with a different topic/issue that he has had to deal with in his life and his experiences overcoming them while growing up. In line with his personality and messaging on Queer Eye, he is very honest and open about many things that happened in his past, the mistakes that he made and how he challenged himself to become a better version of himself. He is candid about many different topics - feeling othered, colorism within the Black community, his relationship with the church and God, his struggle with addiction and depression, domestic partner abuse, fatherhood and finding his path in life. I was actually very surprised by how much detail he went into, especially about his addiction, suicidal thoughts and his abusive behavior towards his partners, but I think the way he learnt from his mistakes and decided to change himself is a good lesson for everyone struggling with similar issues.

His chapter on fatherhood is probably the most profound one in the book. It’s probably unimaginable to understand what he must have felt when he suddenly found out he had a child, but the way he handled it with an open mind and lots of love is wonderful to read. It’s also possibly the most transformative moment in his life because he decided to model a better behavior for his children so that they had a better role model in their father than he himself did. His emphasis on being a loving but disciplined parent and encouraging his kid’s dreams without judging them is definitely something all parents can agree with or atleast aspire to be like. His chapter on his relationship with his fiancé is quite lovely and adorable and I can’t wait to see what a spectacle his wedding is going to be.

On the show, he obviously is famous for being the one who makes everyone cry and this book gives us a better insight into why that is and where he is coming from. Despite his struggles, he has never lost hope and optimism and I think his social worker and psychotherapist background plays a major part in that. And even though he can come across as preachy sometime, his messages are quite relevant to everyone. His emphasis on being an empathetic listener and being open to learn is something that we can all benefit from. On the other hand, the way he talks about himself is also a great message. I love how he doesn’t hesitate from talking about his dreams and aspirations and how confident he is that he will be able to find a way to make them a reality. But the one take away that I took from this book is how important it is to be able to express and understand our feelings and emotions, and how not having the right vocabulary to do so can affect our mental health.

Finally, I obviously recommend this book to anyone who loves Queer Eye and wants to know more about Karamo. Do keep in mind that this is a book about his life experiences and the show forms just one chapter in it. This is a book about healing, learning, being a better person and following the dreams and I’m sure everyone will find something in here to relate to or learn from. I listened to the audiobook and I highly recommend it because it phenomenal and he brings a lot of heart and soul into the narration.

[Han · Rating 2 out of 5]

Audiobook version.

Kind of wish I didn't read this. It's not very well-written and very repetitive, self-satisfying and corny. Sorry Karamo.

[Lizzie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Karamo Brown does such a wonderful job on Queer Eye that I really hesitated over rating 2 stars. A lot of the messages in his book align with who he is on the show, which I guess is why there are so many high ratings here.
But this just wasn't quality writing. The main thing that brought it down for me was the repetition. Multiple repeat discussions of incidents that had already been covered in previous chapters.
That and he seemed a little too self-satisfied. I'm cringing as I write that because he's such a warm, caring person on Queer Eye. But hey people are complicated, right?
Sorry, Karamo! (I'll see myself out now ...)

[Aubri · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretentious, moralistic, judgemental, confrontational, performative, egotistical, impulsive, and full to bursting with rspectability politics

Every line of this book sounds like it was written for a pull quote.

He wanted other people to save him from his drug use but says "they didn't have the language". That line is repeated everywhere - that he or someone else "didn't have the language." This is used to gloss over and dismiss a LOT, while actively ignoring that just because someone "has the language" to describe their feelings/what's happening doesn't mean the outcome will be what Karamo wants.

He got away with physically abusing past partners, and completely destroying an ex's apartment and then laying in wait for him. He later went to anger management but doesn't say anything about making amends. He is still incredibly entitled to whatever he wants and thinks the world should revolve entirely around him. Every moment is a performance with us as the audience.

To break the four generation curse of all the males in his family getting someone pregnant by age 16, instead of teaching his kids about condoms and bodily autonomy, he told his kids that they should abstain for him, because that's what he wanted. And he's proud his kid's first time was at 20 and doesn't want to become a grandparent until his kid is 30.

He thinks that to have a loving stable home for children, you have to be married. And if his partner of 6 years wasn't willing to marry him then Karamo would break up with him because he wouldn't take their relationship to "the next level".

He takes ownership of his kids success, saying they became kind people not because of who they are but because of his influence.

And we wrap it up with tone policing and a call to reach across the aisle and be nice to that bigoted neighbor who thinks I'm abhorrent and should be exterminated...

[abi · Rating 2 out of 5]

oh boy
so many red flags

1. so, karamo has been emotionally and physically abusive in the past with boyfriends which he explains away by saying that his dad was abusive towards his mom. then he decided to stop being abusive when one of his boyfriends left his and after three months of anger management he no longer physically abused his partners. now though, it he tells cute anecdotes about how he tells his fiance what to wear because 'he knows more about fashion'....hmm
2. he was a drug user who judged other drug users and thought he was better than other addicts
3. he has a bit of a saviour complex

people are giving this high ratings presumably because he is being frank about his mistakes and has bettered himself but the way he's talking about his experiences sometimes makes him come across as a little self-righteous. people don't have to be perfect but i just have a real hard time thinking kindly of abusers. i hope he has changed and anyone he has harmed is living a peaceful and fulfilled life.

elsewhere, this book could've done with a bit more editing. karamo was constantly jumping back and forth between adulthood and childhood, jumping back and forth between different themes and experiences and repeating sections of the book he had already covered. it just felt a bit jumbled and disordered.

[Bill · Rating 5 out of 5]

While my daughter has been watching the Netflix series Queer Eye for a few years I only discovered it last year. I've now enjoyed four brilliantly entertaining series (& am currently watching series 5) so it was nice to receive this autobiography of the Fab Five's culture expert as a Father's Day present.
The book opens with Karamo Brown explaining how his father wanted his son to have a name reflecting & honouring their culture & identity, & not one passed down by British colonisers through slavery. Karamo Karega is Swahili in origin & the names mean educated & rebel. His father never liked his own name....it was Henry!
One of the most surprising aspects of this autobiography for me was Karamo's openness & honesty. It was a shock to learn that he had been in abusive relationships in which he was the abuser. He is equally open about using drugs & alcohol & how he still fights against those days of addiction.
There are plenty of uplifting chapters about his son, his adopted son & his love for all his family. Karamo's Queer Eye audition was a big step in his life, especially when he took a huge gamble by explaining his idea of culture which differed greatly from the programme makers. Karamo Brown is a man who has taken plenty of risks in his life & it's been great to read how most of them have paid off.

[Kelly]

Such a fantastic memoir, whether or not you're a Queer Eye fan. Karamo shares his life story, beginning with a loving family that eventually breaks apart due to addiction and abuse. He's not afraid to talk about his own experiences, too, with drugs and alcohol and how he earned a reputation as "crazy" while on MTV's THE REAL WORLD (which wasn't his last stint with reality TV before Queer Eye). I was especially moved with the story of how he learned he was a father, and how he took that responsibility on a second time voluntarily. There's really great stuff in here, too, about not only being gay, but also about colorism and what it's like being a dark skinned gay man.

Touching, encouraging, and warm, it's a nice peek at how someone defines "culture" and puts himself at the center of it -- and why that center of culture from the outside world to the inside is such a welcome shift.

[Meg · Rating 1 out of 5]

Without getting too negative here, we'll just say that this book didn't raise my opinion of Karamo. I'd hoped to learn more of what's beneath the surface-- which readers do, to some extent-- but he seems pretty tied up in his showbusiness career (and, on the side, social work-- and I'm not sure I understand the intersection).

I didn't like the format of the book-- it's clear that the editor did not demand much by way of structure. There's lots of flashing back, flashing forward, and cross-referencing content across chapters; I think it could have been organized better.

This book is largely Brown's soapbox for a million topics, and by the end, I felt a bit lectured to. Didn't love this book, but maybe other QE fans will find it more enjoyable.

[Reading on Wheels · Rating 3 out of 5]

who decided on that chronology

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I blazed through this in about a day. The writing style is very casual, the font is larger and there are a fair amount of photos so it's a quick read. Karamo's story is fascinating. I think this would be great on audio if he read it. However, it was organized more by topic than by chronology which made it a little harder to keep track of what was going on when.

[Ginny Nemchick · Rating 3 out of 5]

It basically reads like a big long entertainment magazine profile piece (it literally ends with a pitch for his new podcast, lol) BUT I like the show and I enjoyed reading stories about his life, and if, like me, that’s what you’re looking for, it’s worth reading.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Traditionally reading a memoir should challenge some of your predisposed beliefs. Along the course of learning more about the author, you're frequently forced to rethink some of your biases, question what decisions you may have made if in the same situation, and gain a deeper understanding (not necessarily a deeper appreciation) of the author themselves.

That is not the case with Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing, and Hope. Frankly, I walked away from reading this memoir firmer in my beliefs and with a very clear distaste for someone I previously had admired. Full disclosure, I, too, am a social worker. When I learned that the new Queer Eye reboot would feature a former social worker helping people reach their potential, I was thrilled. But after reading Karamo's memoir I am legitimately upset to share a profession with him, when the information he touts is so against our social work values. He is judgmental and rude with a holier-than-thou attitude that he tries to mask as self-confidence. He invades peoples physical spaces (forcing his 4th grade son to hug him the first day they met, refusing to give handshakes to people who aren't comfortable with hugs), judges people erroneously (calling people potheads, disassociating with people who he disagrees with), and comes off as massively obsessed with becoming famous (while claiming he doesn't care at all about fame). He clearly needs a re-education on harm reduction and social work principles, because he is incredibly judgmental. He also consistently espouses the idea that he is above trauma and addiction because he is a decisive person who is 'strong enough' to wake up one day and decide "I won't do xyz, I won't be friends with abc." He doesn't detail the hard work that is often involved in overcoming trauma or chaotic substance use. Instead he casually reminds us that he is SUPER STRONG because he can wake up one day and change the course of his life completely with absolutely no help. It's other people's faults, actually, for not having the words to help him initially, so he had to make mistakes and learn from them on his own until he could overcome his struggles.

My main takeaway from this memoir is:
1. I would never, ever hire Karamo Brown as a social worker at my organization, and
2. I don't think I have ever 'met' someone so obsessed with becoming well-known and famous.

Throughout his story he frequently explains that he wants to be a daytime talk show host and he wants to help people, yet he pays no regard to the fact that he *can* help people *without* being on TV. He spent years as a social worker doing just that. But the thing about social work is that it is very frequently a thankless position. Both literally (you don't always get a thanks from your clients) and financially (social work is historically a low-paying career that doesn't always come with benefits). You don't become a social worker for the praise. You become a social worker because you want to help people, and helping people means putting yourself to the side. You don't get to tell a client "This is what you need." You listen to the client tell YOU what they need, and you help them reach their goal even if it isn't something you feel is possible or helpful. Karamo doesn't embody the social work principles, because he is obsessed with being recognized for helping people. He wants to help people in a setting (TV) where he is putting himself in the center role as opposed to the client.

10/10 suggest you just don't read it. I only give it 2 stars because he utilized punctuation appropriately and it was an incredibly easy read.

[Kim M · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is beautiful. I'm so impressed with the vulnerability and humility Karamo exhibited in his willingness to share his whole story, flaws and all, and how it has shaped him into the amazing person he is today. There's a lot of wisdom and honesty in this book, and all of us could learn something more from him.

The one criticism I have is that the organization didn't work well for me. It's organized by topic instead of chronology, which results in a lot of repetition and bouncing around, diminishing reader comprehension of his story as a whole. A better editor would've helped him integrate each of his topic arcs into a cohesive, linear story that gives a more complex picture of Karamo's life journey.

[Val · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING.

I love Queer Eye. I love the Fab 5. My life is better because Karamo, Bobby, Tan, Jonathan and Antoni are in it, but I gotta admit Karamo became my favorite as soon as the show started. His advice, positivism and encouragement, are inspiring and so important. Of course as soon as I saw he was publishing a book, I HAD TO GET IT and read it.

Karamo's story was so much more than I expected. If you've watched Queer Eye, you see he is a positive guy who believes in speaking out, expressing our feelings and taking care of our mental health. I would've never guessed everything he went through before the show.

I don't want to get into details because you've got to read this book and find out everything from his own words. But his life was no easy. He lived tough moments and yet, he's managed to grow, learn and thrive.

He is truly a genuine example of what an empathic human being is. Instead of saying, 'I went through bad times, you should, too', he says, 'I went through bad times and I want to help you. I WILL help you so you can do better, because you deserve it'.

I loved loved loved this book. And I love love love Karamo. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

[Z · Rating 2 out of 5]

While it was interesting to find out about Karamo's life, I'm not going to pretend this was as good as I thought it was going to be. I had 3 major issues with it:

1. The choice of chapters takes you out of chronological order and I found it off putting.
2. It seems very self serving and an attempt at damage control where issues in his past had come to light and it's an attempt to get ahead of the narrative.
3. The use of language is repetitive and the same quotes and phrases are used over in over against different situations.

Mostly I found this could have done with a better editor. I think there was a good story there, but the choice of grouping issues into chapters made a lot of jumping back and forth and the use of language wasn't entirely believable.

I'm not saying it didn't happen, but a lot of the conflicts in his life seem to be resolved in this with him saying something like 'I love you, I support you' and they're all friends again, or things worked out.

[Rachel | All the RAD Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

My love for Queer Eye is REAL so I was stoked to get Karamo’s book from the library this week! It was a great afternoon read and told his story from the beginning until now, giving context to the kindhearted and wise “culture expert” we see on the show. I think Karamo is better on screen than he comes across on the page, but I enjoyed getting to know more about him and hear his story— there’s so much i didn’t know and appreciated him so vulnerably sharing with the world. We need more role models like him, especially with his unique perspective as a gay man of color coming from immigrant parents who is a father and a public figure.

[Romie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I fell in love with Queer Eye this month, watched the 5 seasons one after the other, and what struck me about Karamo is how bright and warm he is. he makes people feel better, actively feel better, and this is how this book made me feel. hearing him being so open and honest about his past, his mistakes, his victories, how he got to be apart of Queer Eye; it was all so interesting!
I think the audiobook is such a nice way to experience this memoir, because it truly feels as if you're having a conversation with Karamo, as he's the one narrating it. it felt like I was having an authentic conversation (4.25)

[andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m weeping, so there’s that.

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Queer Eye and I think Karamo's angle is one of the most important parts of each person's transformation. That being said, I have mixed feelings about his memoir. He has not had the easiest life, though most of the difficulties were of his own making. I applaud his ability to get his life on track, but it didn't come without a great deal of ego attached. We have to take responsibility for our actions, and it is one of the central tenets of recovery from addiction, of which Karamo has many (present tense because addictions don't go away; they are managed). I always saw a flash of this side of him in the show and the book really fleshes it out. I still love Queer Eye and I still deeply appreciate Karamo. I will just view him through a slightly different lens from now on. And that's ok.

[Alice-Elizabeth (Prolific Reader Alice) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do find reviewing memoirs to be trickier than other genres/categories of books. However, reading Karamo was an interesting experience. Being an avid fan of Netflix's Queer Eye series, it was something that I wanted to explore further by reading all of the cast memoirs (if all of them are available to read!) Karamo Brown is the 'Culture' expert on the show but really, his life before and after Queer Eye was eye-opening to read. There are trigger warnings for physical, emotional and drug abuse throughout. I know that it is never easy to write about having an addiction so I appreciated how Karamo was open about that. Overall, a memoir that I enjoyed reading and would recommend!

There were some discussions about being black in the US and being a student at a predominately black college which again, I found interesting to read.

[Annie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came to this book at a time I really needed some grounding. I needed a moment to take stock of who I am and who I want to be, how to grow into the most positive version of myself, and how to build new connections based on kindness and compassion rather than competitiveness and revenge (to quote Tolkien, ‘You would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! All shall love me and despaiiiiiiiiir!’).

This is the most perfect book for this. As Karamo puts it simply, “Each moment in my life that I viewed as horrible or hurtful at the time was actually a message that I needed to receive, learn from, and use to inspire others. I’m going to share intimate stories from my own life in order to show you how I respond to conflict, in hopes that it will inspire a change in you and allow you to get closer to your authentic self.”

These memoir-y wannabe self-help/inspiration books are regularly failures in my opinion. I probably haven’t read any that have landed the intended mark—until now. Karamo is just such an interesting, genuine, honest, and inspiring person, and he has written one of the most brutally honest, soul-searching memoirs I’ve ever read. I’m a major Queer Eye fan, and I loved learning more about this gentle, pure soul.

Some fascinating facts about Karamo:

1. His full name is Karamo Karega, which together mean “educated rebel”—which suits him beautifully. He’s brilliant, self-aware, and well-read, while also refusing to subscribe to what society decides is valuable.

2. He’s a Freemason? What?

3. He went to Parkland High School in Florida, infamous for tragic reasons.

4. Wanted to be a talk show host so badly that he set up one in the lunchroom in 10th grade (bringing together a couple and say, “So we all know that Daniel is being accused by Jessica of cheating. Jessica, tell everybody what’s going on”).

5. He started counseling teens in LA and saw a lot of teens of colour getting arrested for stealing cars in imitation of the MTV show Pimp My Ride. He, along with his boyfriend at the time, organized a protest. MTV saw him outside and decided they wanted him on their new show, The Real World.

6. The first time his older son saw Karamo (Karamo didn’t know he existed), he was watching television and his family pointed him out; Karamo was in the shower with another man at the time.

7. He had a little crush on Jonathan when he first met him. Omgggg *eyes*

8. Somehow, Karamo's out here aging backwards on a diet of Coke, Sprite, Skittles, and Starburst. That's just rude.

9. His parenting policy with his sons: if you do something wrong, and you tell me the truth about it, you won’t get in trouble; we’ll figure out a solution and how to help you make the situation right. As a child himself, he always thought how backwards it was that when he did something wrong and admitted it, he got in trouble. “Honesty should never be punished. It should be celebrated, because it gives your child a chance to grow.” #Daddy

10. When casting Queer Eye, they did a chemistry test where they put everyone in a big room and watched how the interacted. Like magic, the five we currently know as the Fab Five ended up gravitating towards each other— and each happened to be auditioning for a different category. That night hey created a group text with the 5 of them and titled it “The Fab Five.” Because they fucking knew magic when they saw it.

---------DOMESTIC VIOLENCE-----------

A major part of this book is Karamo’s confrontation of his own violence in domestic relationships when he was younger, and how he worked to change himself.

He describes his younger self as having a “sick perspective” on relationships; he hit his boyfriends when they argued or his boyfriend challenged his sense of entitlement, “only hit[ting] them in places that I knew they would have to hide.” He knew he could get away with it (even smirked when one partner threatened to call the police) because sexual violence in LGBT relationships often is not believed.

Karamo notes this is similar to the way his father had abused his mother: “I was a product of the blueprint that I had seen in my household, but that is no excuse. It took me many years, not only to ask for forgiveness from my partners, but also to forgive myself.”

The day he and a boyfriend broke up, he went to anger management classes and hasn’t been emotionally or physically abusive to any person since. He’s dedicated his life to social work, with a particular emphasis on LGBT youth and relationships.

I don’t know that I’ve ever heard someone take such complete responsibility for what they did. The ability to recognize something so harmful in yourself, confront it, change it, and talk about it publicly in the hopes of helping others deal with the same—that kind of honesty requires unspeakable bravery that we should all aspire to.

By stark contrast, his current relationship with his fiance Ian, is the most heartbreaking, sweet, genuine, loving relationship. And he describes it so well— you really feel like you know them personally, like you see all their adorable coupleness every day in the breakfast nook.

[Diāna · Rating 2 out of 5]

There has been a sudden increase in the bookstores for people trying to monetize their own story, this book is no exception, and I cannot say that it is something necessarily bad, however, I am not very convinced by this execution.
This particular book tries to uncover suffering as a way for growth, mostly favouring positive psychology. His story is not something usual, but it always depends on the angles.
Karamo is opening up about his hardships related with his name, colorism, church and being gay, several addictions, and his journey to fulfilled life. During the pages, he admitted his past flaws and his (oversimplified) way of overcoming them. He invites the reader to have these hard conversations with oneself and those around. Even tho a lot of the facts he uncovered about his life is something most of us would keep forever secret and just for us, it did not feel as a Raw look at himself (for example, about suicide attempt). The events that happened to him are important, but I somehow lacked his emotional journey.
Taking away my personal issue with authors trying to present themselves in a specific light in memoirs, I think Karamo was able to touch some sensitive subjects within the current world, especially of suffering within LGBTQ+ community, domestic abuse, religious hatred and racism (especially within ones race). Sharing your own experience when trying to educated others can be empowering, but all of these issues are so complex that talking about them so simply can be a missed shot, but it is a START.
Even tho Karamo tried to include others in the book, it was mostly about himself. But I think wide variety of people will be able to relate to some parts of his journey. I would not call this writing as a cathartic self-analysis, rather an acknowledgement of situations that drove him on a destruction road.
You only get a slight notion of his anxieties, and part of the book seems to be a self-promotion. I am only partially convinced that he achieved the title of offering a story of how exactly he embraced purpose, healing, and hope. And because he tried to achieve this and touched upon heavy societal subjects, plus did self-endorsement, somehow made it all sloppy.

[Stefanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gave up at 55% when Karamo, after sharing many, many stories in multiple chapters about how he was an abuser, relates a joke he made on The Real World about stabbing someone -- and then says, "obviously, I would never stab someone."

That's not obvious, and the casual way he said so made my stomach turn.

This book is just an unleashing of all the horrible things Karamo has done over his life, perforated with his assurances that he is not that man anymore.

He was my favorite person on Queer Eye. I wish I had never read this, because I'll never be able to look at him the same way.

[Tib]

I'm not going to give this a star rating, because I feel really weird rating someone's life story. But, I will discuss how much I enjoyed reading the book.

CW: abuse, drug addiction/use, attempted suicide

I listened to the audiobook mostly because it was read by Karamo himself and I will always listen to the audiobook over reading the physical book if the author reads the book themselves. I think it's the best experience because you get to hear how the story is intended to sound.

Anyway, I picked this up because of my love of Queer Eye which I found I liked a lot better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and I think it largely has to do with Karamo. He really adds a whole other level to the make overs they do for each episodes hero. Karamo, like the other guys in the Fab Five would mention bits and pieces of his past over the past three seasons and he always seemed like an interesting person. Then he wrote a book.

Karamo's life from childhood to Queer Eye was an absolutely wild ride from start to finish from an abusive father (he hit his mother, but she and his sisters tried their best to keep him out of it), to his struggles with addiction with weed, alcohol, and eventually cocaine, to dealing with colorism within his own family. Each chapter is filled with honesty and grace, even when he's talking about not so great points in his life, and has a lot of tips on how to better yourself as well. Only Karamo can write a memoir with a sub category of self help. He talks about his role on The Real World and how that affected him afterwards, and how he managed to get to audition for Queer Eye (which was a fate thing, I swear). He talks about some dark and heavy things as well, but does so in a way that does his best to try and be as to be as little triggering as he can possibly be and still discuss those topics.

This was such a great read and I highly recommend it.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love a good celebrity memoir and this was a nice audiobook to keep me company as I did chores and ran errands. I’ve enjoyed watching Karamo on Queer Eye. He’s has had a very interesting life and I learned a lot about him. The writing was just OK and the timeline kind of jumped around. It also felt repetitive at times. Not sure whether I’d go out of my way to recommend this one, unless you are a huge fan of his.

Triggers: Drug use / depression / Suicidal thoughts

[Bree Ann Swaner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Karamo definitely grew on me as I read this book. For some reason I could never really find myself resonating with him through QE, but reading his story helped me to understand who he is and appreciate him for all he’s overcome. It was definitely fun to peer into his life and see what’s made him successful.

[Blythe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book; it’s not a literary memoir, but it’s thorough and well organized and entertaining. What I loved the most is how open and honest Karamo is about his own journey and shortcomings. He doesn’t try to paint a picture of a person who has it all together; on the contrary, he is forthcoming about his mistakes and flaws, and how he has grown throughout his life. Seeing his progress as he evolves as a person is very satisfying.

[Shayna Ross · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here's the thing: I like Karamo a lot. He is a great person and has a phenomenal personality. He is a handsome dude and dresses like a pro. He's great!

This book is not so much.

A memoir of sorts, Karamo dictates his life story into central themes for each chapter that follows a formulaic approach: shares the story piece, explain what he learned, and passes that inspiration to you, the reader. It reads VERY MUCH like his Queer Eye persona (more like per season 3), which brings a different experience of reading. He shares personal photographs of himself, his family, and those close to him. You get a good overview of his life and the lessons he learned, which he is more than pleased to share with you.

If Karamo is your favorite Queer Eye cast member or maybe you have been following him since Real World: Philadelphia, you will likely enjoy this for Karamo experience in writing. If this is not necessarily the case, you will probably rush through this quickly or skip over it altogether. The writing style is simplistic and easy to go through, but it doesn't bring much thought forward beyond the text. Because of his formulaic approach and thematic chapters, it comes off repetitive with both style and content.

As for the content itself, Karamo tends to speak about an experience, but not provide contextual detail about what led up to it, the transition through the experience, or his emotional impact at the time. Instead, he tends to focus on telling the story in the now and reflecting back on his life from the view of a therapist. This approach seems to deflect away from his actual feelings during those times, which seems to lessen the emotional impact. For example, he talks about how much he disliked his time on Real World, but he does not explain why he pursued it (money, attention, that sort of thing) likely because it's important for him to reflect positively to his readers.

It's a fast read and probably goes well with the rest of the Queer Eye books coming out later this year. If you need something to kill time, like Karamo as a person, and like that completion feeling for an interest, this cN be the book for you. Good for large library collections in urban areas.