The Hard Times: The First 40 Years – A Pitchfork Best Music Book of Zine-Style Comedy, Punk Rock, and Hardcore Culture

by Matt Saincome, Bill Conway, Krissy Howard

ONE OF PITCHFORK'S BEST MUSIC BOOKS OF 2019. From the comedic minds behind TheHardTimes.net comes the most accurate reporting on punk and hardcore culture in music history.

Since 2014, The Hard Times has been at the forefront of music journalism, delivering hard-hitting reports and in-depth investigations into the punk and hardcore scene. From their scathing takedown of Kim Jong-un after he appointed himself the new singer of Black Flag to their incisive coverage of a healthy Lars Ulrich being replaced by a hologram, the site has become a trusted source for all things counterculture.

Now, in this zine-style “historical retrospective,” the writers behind the site reveal their humble roots, documenting The Hard Times’ ascension alongside the rise of punk. With original articles from their "archives" commenting on ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s punk, as well as fan favorites from the aughts onward, this comprehensive examination of the scene will make readers dust off their Doc Martens and creepy crawl their way to the nearest pit.

Genres: Music, Humor, Fiction, Comedy

256 pages, Paperback

First published October 29, 2019

Reviews

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine the Onion with more of a punk-rock attitude and focus, and you have "The Hard Times," another very funny humor publication. Mirroring the Onion's fake-news format, this collection gathers 40 years of punk-rock shorts, a funny concept for an online publication that launched in 2014.

Beyond collecting items like "Poorly Stocked Bodega Mistaken for Warhol Installation" or "Clippy the Paperclip Desperately Trying to Stop College Freshman from Writing Term Paper on Dave Matthews Band," the format is organized around a fake history of the magazine, from their supposed drug-addled days in the New York punk scene to their high times under the ownership of a Russian mafia front to their eventual collapse and online rebirth. It's sharp and funny throughout, well worth reading for anyone with a general interest in punk and humor.

Special shoutout to my buddy Bobby D. Lux for his included piece, "Jello Biafra's Suit Worn on 'Oprah' Returned to Store at Full Price."

[Bobby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book rules. For over 40 years no other punk outfit of scumbags, drug addicts, and criminals have documented the scene quite like they have. It's amazing that they're all still alive (mostly)!

I was at the very first punk show ever over 40 years ago, and I must say that punk reporting doesn't get any better than this!

[Christopher Shawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reductively, this is The Onion for music, and music-adjacent interests. Not only are the "headlines" eye catching and chuckle-worthy, but the articles are extremely clever and full of Easter eggs for those in the know. I'd go so far as to say this might be a must-buy for those interested.

[Dustin · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's some occasional laughs in the new content, I especially liked the "FTC approves merger of rap & rock" article but sadly it's hit or miss. I thought they might put a bit more effort into doing the historical articles. Then half of the book is stuff you can read on their site.

[Carlton Duff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always hilarious stuff from the HardTimes crew. A must own for fans of music satire.

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a laff-riot and I thoroughly enjoyed traveling down the scenic byways of my misbegotten youth with it! I LOL'd like a crazy person, it actually made me cry I was laughing so hard in spots. Worth purchasing!!!!

[Annarella · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me smile and laugh, I was laughing out loudly reading about the CGBG's artist as blue grass, but it also reminded about a lot of artists I loved during the 70s/80s/90s
I think it's a great excursus and even if I never read The Hard Times it made me wish I had.
Highly recommended to music lovers.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine.

[Diane Hernandez · Rating 4 out of 5]

You don’t have to be a punk to enjoy The Hard Times—but it helps.

Why is it funny that The Ramones forced their studio’s janitor to change his name to Gary Ramone? Because none of The Ramones were related in real life and all changed their name to enter the band. Why did a punk survive the Kool-Aid at Jonestown? Practice, practice, practice (of ingesting all manner of substances at punk rock concerts).

The articles collected here are actual reprints from the magazine during the past four decades. In between the original stories are a behind-the-scenes look at the zine’s creation and a bit of punk’s evolution over the years. Beginning with the 90s, the zine began covering emo, grunge, and alternative rock bands too.

I was pretty heavily into the LA punk scene from the late 70s through the 80s so I really enjoyed The Hard Times. It reminded me of bands I haven’t thought of in decades. Even if you are not into punk, the stories frequently have a Mad Magazine sense of parody that is enjoyable. 4 stars!

Thanks to Mariner Books and NetGalley for a copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Nate · Rating 4 out of 5]

The “Punk Dad Can Still Hang” headline is the best thing they’ve ever done. They must have not gotten permission to use a lot of the photos that originally accompanied the articles on the website, because there are a LOT of new (and frankly, not as good) ones in this book. That’s my only real gripe. Keep up the good work everyone! XXX

[Denver Public Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

A hilarious collection of comedic fake news articles satirizing all aspects of underground
music subculture. Like The Onion of punk, hardcore, indie, goth and metal. Sample headlines include, “Whole Foods Break Room Becomes Impromptu Band Reunion,” “Metalhead Can’t Find Single Inoffensive Shirt to Wear to Airport,” “Portland Trash Core Band Outed as Three Raccoons With a Drum Machine."

[Ben Rochon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must have for any fans of the Hard Times or anyone interested in music culture. They did an nice job of intercoupling articles with a fake rendition of their genesis and evolution as a zine. I laughed.

[Kathy Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genuinely funny satire for a coffee table or bathroom book. This isn't something you'd sit down and read for hours at a time.

[Sydney · Rating 3 out of 5]

The headlines are GREAT; however, the satire does get tiresome 30-40 pages in.

[Mark Pemble · Rating 5 out of 5]

The definition of RELEVANT.

[Ethan S · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Hard Times is similar to The Onion website in it's satire and presentation but with a focus on Music (specifically punk/metal/hardcore, but not exclusively). In the last 2-3 years I have gotten a lot more laughs from The Hard Times (occasionally pained laughs as the jokes hit too close to home for middle-age dad that used to be into cool music)
This is a collection of their recent articles, sort of a best-of, with newly written material from the "archive" of the first 40 (mostly fictional) years along withe a sort of history of The Hard Times.
I purchased the book because they have a pretty high rate of making me laugh and I wanted to support the guys and gals that make it. If a punk-bent Onion sounds like something you would enjoy, then I guarantee you will enjoy this.

[Rebecca Lund · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun book to pass around when hosting small social gatherings. Lots of laughs and prompts for additional jokes and conversation starters.

[Trey Ball · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like the articles posted online, the headlines are pretty funny, while the articles are hardly worth reading