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Wait, It Gets Worse: Love, Death, and My Transformation from Control Freak to Human Being
Lydia Slaby was thirty-three years old and had everything she believed would make her happy: three fancy private school degrees; a successful husband who was in the inner circles of Barack Obama’s presidential campaign; a high-paying job as an attorney—even an enviable yoga practice. But under the surface Lydia’s life was in free-fall. Her new marriage was one argument after another, she had a job she never wanted, and for some reason she had begun to rapidly lose weight and turn a strange shade of yellowish-green. When she made a doctor’s appointment to talk about the toll of extremestress, she was instead admitted with a diagnosis of lymphoma.
As a cancer survivor, Lydia tries to piece back together her marriage, her career, and her own worth. It’s an imperfect rebirth, but “perfection” is something she must abandon if she is to at last find the perspective that will open a new, calm, healthy life. With a voice that is wise, irreverent, and filled with sharp humor, this is a story about following all the rules only to learn the hard way that control is an illusion and that love will save your life.
As a cancer survivor, Lydia tries to piece back together her marriage, her career, and her own worth. It’s an imperfect rebirth, but “perfection” is something she must abandon if she is to at last find the perspective that will open a new, calm, healthy life. With a voice that is wise, irreverent, and filled with sharp humor, this is a story about following all the rules only to learn the hard way that control is an illusion and that love will save your life.
276 pages, Paperback
Published March 19, 2019
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1139 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
December 9, 2018
Reading cancer memoirs is a strange hobby, I admit. But it’s one of mine.
And this is a wonderful cancer memoir. Lydia Slaby is honest and straightforward. She is able to inhabit the key moments in her experience with cancer and to describe them without the gauzy hindsight that is common in looking back.
I especially appreciate the way she confronts the illusion of control that is common to the young and the strong, and describes her process of learning to live without that particular untruth.
Bravo, and please write more!
With thanks to NetGalley and Disruption Books for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
And this is a wonderful cancer memoir. Lydia Slaby is honest and straightforward. She is able to inhabit the key moments in her experience with cancer and to describe them without the gauzy hindsight that is common in looking back.
I especially appreciate the way she confronts the illusion of control that is common to the young and the strong, and describes her process of learning to live without that particular untruth.
Bravo, and please write more!
With thanks to NetGalley and Disruption Books for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
March 12, 2019
You might not think a memoir about cancer could possibly be an enjoyable read but Wait, It Gets Worse will prove you wrong.
Lydia Slaby is very open and honest with what was going on in her life, before, during, and after her cancer diagnosis and treatment. Looking in from the outside, Lydia seemed to have it all – a job as a lawyer that she loved, a marriage to a man she considered her soul-mate who worked for the Obama campaign, all the social and material trappings of success. But underneath the surface, her life was falling apart; her marriage was on the rocks, and the stress of her job left no time in her life for anything but work. And then, at 33, she got cancer. But wait, it gets worse. It really does – WAY worse!!
In a conversational tone that makes her seem like a good friend, she talks about what she has experienced, how she felt about it each step of the way, and the lasting effects of it all. When all is said and done, she comes to the realization that having cancer just may have saved her life in a multitude of ways.
This is an interesting, well-written and informative read. I am so grateful that she shared her journey with us, and even happier that now, her life truly seems to be on the right track. This book gets a 5-star rating from me!
Many thanks to NetGalley and to Disruption Books for allowing me to read an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
The book will be available to the public on 3/19/2019.
Lydia Slaby is very open and honest with what was going on in her life, before, during, and after her cancer diagnosis and treatment. Looking in from the outside, Lydia seemed to have it all – a job as a lawyer that she loved, a marriage to a man she considered her soul-mate who worked for the Obama campaign, all the social and material trappings of success. But underneath the surface, her life was falling apart; her marriage was on the rocks, and the stress of her job left no time in her life for anything but work. And then, at 33, she got cancer. But wait, it gets worse. It really does – WAY worse!!
In a conversational tone that makes her seem like a good friend, she talks about what she has experienced, how she felt about it each step of the way, and the lasting effects of it all. When all is said and done, she comes to the realization that having cancer just may have saved her life in a multitude of ways.
This is an interesting, well-written and informative read. I am so grateful that she shared her journey with us, and even happier that now, her life truly seems to be on the right track. This book gets a 5-star rating from me!
Many thanks to NetGalley and to Disruption Books for allowing me to read an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
The book will be available to the public on 3/19/2019.
January 30, 2019
The description of the book drew me instantly, "that control is a lie" spoke to my inner control freak and outward perfectionist.
As I began the book the chapter Hope spoke to me as more of an epilogue than a preface, but I forged on with the book despite that being rather off putting. Once I got into the book I simply couldn't put it down. I read the first 100 pages with ease, which is of course my personal favorite type of book. When I open a book and begin to read then check to see how many pages, where is 10%? 20% 50% it doesn't bode well for the book. The only reason I actually put it down was sleep, a necessary habit of mine.
I picked it up the following day and I was just struck with it's fluidity. I cannot say if it is a result of amazing writing, amazing editing or a combination of both. Even though the author will take a break to explain how they got to where they are, it fits perfectly and I never found myself asking why is that important now?!? Then again the story would naturally begin to flow forward and it seemed so natural, so unbroken, I never found myself asking questions or wondering, a huge pet peeve of mine that represents a story line with holes.
In some ways the book reminded me of Gilda Radner's bio "It's Always Something"a favorite of mine, however Linda's descriptions of procedures while concise and honest were never grotesque. I greatly appreciated that. Like Linda I have had a few surgeries and I cannot look at the resulting wounds.
The book itself had powerful messages about control, why we crave it and why we have to stop trying to "get back" and how to move forward. There were passages in the epilogue that just spoke to me, I marked them to allow myself to go back and reread them.
Outta the ballpark hit for a first time author and if she writes another I wouldn't hesitate to read! I would highly recommend (especially to control freaks) and I plan to suggest it to my therapist.
As I began the book the chapter Hope spoke to me as more of an epilogue than a preface, but I forged on with the book despite that being rather off putting. Once I got into the book I simply couldn't put it down. I read the first 100 pages with ease, which is of course my personal favorite type of book. When I open a book and begin to read then check to see how many pages, where is 10%? 20% 50% it doesn't bode well for the book. The only reason I actually put it down was sleep, a necessary habit of mine.
I picked it up the following day and I was just struck with it's fluidity. I cannot say if it is a result of amazing writing, amazing editing or a combination of both. Even though the author will take a break to explain how they got to where they are, it fits perfectly and I never found myself asking why is that important now?!? Then again the story would naturally begin to flow forward and it seemed so natural, so unbroken, I never found myself asking questions or wondering, a huge pet peeve of mine that represents a story line with holes.
In some ways the book reminded me of Gilda Radner's bio "It's Always Something"a favorite of mine, however Linda's descriptions of procedures while concise and honest were never grotesque. I greatly appreciated that. Like Linda I have had a few surgeries and I cannot look at the resulting wounds.
The book itself had powerful messages about control, why we crave it and why we have to stop trying to "get back" and how to move forward. There were passages in the epilogue that just spoke to me, I marked them to allow myself to go back and reread them.
Outta the ballpark hit for a first time author and if she writes another I wouldn't hesitate to read! I would highly recommend (especially to control freaks) and I plan to suggest it to my therapist.
July 9, 2019
A poignant memoir by Lydia Slaby's battle with lymphoma and detailing her journey from diagnosis to recovery.
Together with her husband she tackles this journey and undergoes a major transformation.
Brutally honest, she details her experiences explaining exactly what her diagnosis; various treatments and all other procedures mean. It opens up a window into a parallel world and brings the reader more understanding as to what is happening.
She also delves back into time; sharing her and Micheal's history - their relationship path, marriage turmoils - all with total honesty.
Every now and then she intersperses her writing with a blog post.
The post-cancer Lydia is a different person: she views life and death differently; she has new feelings and discoveries about her body; her attitude to various elements of her life has shifted.
This has been a brutally honest read with Lydia telling it as it was/is. And so much of what she says makes perfect sense, so it leaves you with something to mull over for one's own life long after you've closed the book.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for allowing me the chance to experience this journey.
Together with her husband she tackles this journey and undergoes a major transformation.
Brutally honest, she details her experiences explaining exactly what her diagnosis; various treatments and all other procedures mean. It opens up a window into a parallel world and brings the reader more understanding as to what is happening.
She also delves back into time; sharing her and Micheal's history - their relationship path, marriage turmoils - all with total honesty.
Every now and then she intersperses her writing with a blog post.
The post-cancer Lydia is a different person: she views life and death differently; she has new feelings and discoveries about her body; her attitude to various elements of her life has shifted.
This has been a brutally honest read with Lydia telling it as it was/is. And so much of what she says makes perfect sense, so it leaves you with something to mull over for one's own life long after you've closed the book.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for allowing me the chance to experience this journey.
January 1, 2019
I'm not sure what led me to pick this books. I love the name and the cover, but honestly the subject didn't really interest me, but nonetheless I selected it and started reading.
This writing style is friendly and relaxed. You feel like you are sucked onto her couch as she tells you this wonderful, powerful, emotional story about her struggles with cancer, recovery, herself, her relationship, her professional life etc. It flows and is easy to get just read multiple pages without even realizing.
This isn't your typical cancer/survival story. She really just tells you about her. You can listen and walk away or you can choose to gleam more from what she's tried, gone through and learned. Whichever. It seems she would be happy with either and she's just happy to tell you her tale.
I enjoyed seeing the different side of this fight. She states " I was so desperate to go back to the hospital I actually was beginning to welcome the idea of getting hit by a car". Who says that? Why? Well she does and she will tell you why.... and it all makes sense.
This writing style is friendly and relaxed. You feel like you are sucked onto her couch as she tells you this wonderful, powerful, emotional story about her struggles with cancer, recovery, herself, her relationship, her professional life etc. It flows and is easy to get just read multiple pages without even realizing.
This isn't your typical cancer/survival story. She really just tells you about her. You can listen and walk away or you can choose to gleam more from what she's tried, gone through and learned. Whichever. It seems she would be happy with either and she's just happy to tell you her tale.
I enjoyed seeing the different side of this fight. She states " I was so desperate to go back to the hospital I actually was beginning to welcome the idea of getting hit by a car". Who says that? Why? Well she does and she will tell you why.... and it all makes sense.
April 26, 2020
I have a dark sense of humor so the title instantly spoke to me. Getting through the kind of trauma she goes through, you need to have a little humor. Yet I wasn't expecting her take on healing to get as metaphysical as it did, given her training as a lawyer/questioner, but I guess that's to be expected. You get lost; you find yourself.
I enjoyed her ideas and discoveries on how to balance physical, mental, and emotional healing, which is a good reminder to think about how to integrate such healing into my own life. We all could benefit in some form or another. I'm thinking now is a great time to put meditation back on my calendar. A great habit to develop.
The story itself is more than worth telling - how a type A personality falls ill and must rebuild herself from the ground up. If you enjoy memoirs, especially about giant challenges overcome to see that maybe you, too, could take on what ails you - this is a great book for you.
I enjoyed her ideas and discoveries on how to balance physical, mental, and emotional healing, which is a good reminder to think about how to integrate such healing into my own life. We all could benefit in some form or another. I'm thinking now is a great time to put meditation back on my calendar. A great habit to develop.
The story itself is more than worth telling - how a type A personality falls ill and must rebuild herself from the ground up. If you enjoy memoirs, especially about giant challenges overcome to see that maybe you, too, could take on what ails you - this is a great book for you.
October 6, 2023
Lydia Slaby's account of cancer -- and love -- is heart-rending. It's so sad, yet, thankfully, she lives. It's so funny, yet, thankfully, it doesn't get lost inside its sarcasm. One of the great joys of this memoir, other than the survival of its protagonist, is the spiritual journey on which Slaby embarks as she settles into the joy of love. One senses that she learns through adversity not just to live in the moment but to trust her own instincts. I found myself not only cheering for her body to recover but for her love to triumph. It's almost a page-turner except, like the treatment for cancer itself, one sometimes needs a break. A really masterful book, and I hope there will soon be another.
November 20, 2018
Wow! Lydia Slaby! Your raw narrartive of all that you went through over the years is amazing. Your recollection of each hospital visit and procedure shows the pain that you went through. All while your husband stepped up to the plate to be by your side. Though this book is about a difficult time, Lydia's writing is very conversational; hence why she started a blog to document her journey.
Since reading this book, I have visited the Hair Optional blog to see Lydia's progression. I think this novel will help those struggling with similar health situations and will show that yes it does get worse, but be a fighter because there is a life out there :)
Thank you Netgalley!
Since reading this book, I have visited the Hair Optional blog to see Lydia's progression. I think this novel will help those struggling with similar health situations and will show that yes it does get worse, but be a fighter because there is a life out there :)
Thank you Netgalley!
January 28, 2019
This was a very human, very raw book about facing Cancer, fighting it & trying to relinquish control in order to heal, not just physically but emotionally, mentally & spiritually. I particularly enjoyed reading the last section where she combines therapy and holistic methods to try and figure out how to rebalance.
It's not too triggering and it is not overwhelmingly sad. I think it is the perfect balance for anyone wanting to reading a memoir - even if you have cancer, in my opinion, it wouldn't be too much.
I'd 100% recommend this.
It's not too triggering and it is not overwhelmingly sad. I think it is the perfect balance for anyone wanting to reading a memoir - even if you have cancer, in my opinion, it wouldn't be too much.
I'd 100% recommend this.
March 31, 2019
Wow! What an incredible memoir detailing both an unfathomable but weirdly relatable tale of life in your 30s. With patience and grace, Lydia has shared her journey from ambitious professional to cancer patient to chemo patient to oh-shit-what-do-I-actually-want-to-be 30-something year old. I alternated between laughing, crying and staring at the page in disbelief as yet another curveball was thrown at Lydia’s health. Through it all, I marveled at Lydia’s resilience and kept taking mental notes on how I could learn from her incredible experiences. Thank you, Lydia, for writing this beautiful book and sharing it with the world.
June 16, 2019
As a newly minted doctor, this was a very enlightening and valuable book to read before entering residency. I felt that it really spoke to the issue of the medical system taking care of parts of the patient while disregarding others, either intentionally out of fear or unintentionally due to time constraints, and truly was able to put me into the mindset of a patient with a harrowing story and understand their view of the medical system.
July 7, 2019
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Eerily relatable and heartbreakingly raw, Lydia Slaby’s honesty was greatly appreciated as she put into words so many of the diverse emotions that can be experienced both during and after an extreme and life changing chronic illness. The dry wit throughout the memoir acted as a counterbalance to the harsh reality of such an episode.
January 16, 2025
I read this in two evening reading sessions. It made me ponder and I cried thinking of her marriage. She speaks in such raw language about her relationship with her husband. Cancer is the third main character in this book, which is really interesting, just from how she speaks about her experience with it. It almost seems like everything her and her husband went through hurt her more than what the cancer did to her and put her through.
June 11, 2019
A compelling memoir. Lydia and her husband are engaging and relatable. And the plot enticing. After a night of staying up until 4am, I had to put the book down for a couple of weeks until I could find a window of time for uninterrupted reading. And yet as engrossing as the book is, Lydia leaves space for the reader to reflect and experience the lessons that come from a new perspective.
February 2, 2025
Probably closer to 4.5 stars. I loved her transparency, resiliency, and courage throughout the book. And of course, I could relate to a lot of the themes though not the difficult health diagnoses. My favorite part was the last portion as she reflects upon her experience. Highly recommend for other “go getter” personalities.
March 10, 2019
Note: I won this book on Goodreads.com.
This book showed a personal struggle with cancer and the aftermath. I had never really thought about what happens AFTER cancer is gone. It moved quickly and had just enough detail to keep me interested. Good move, Lydia, to share! Thank you.
This book showed a personal struggle with cancer and the aftermath. I had never really thought about what happens AFTER cancer is gone. It moved quickly and had just enough detail to keep me interested. Good move, Lydia, to share! Thank you.
May 6, 2019
Whew, this is a tough book about an amazing woman facing off against some really tough circumstances. She's a very talented writer and does a great job of conveying the whirlwind of emotions on her journey. Be warned -- it gets pretty harrowing. But this definitely is a book worth reading.
July 6, 2019
I knew from the first few pages that I would like this book. Wonderful memoir... love the author's writing style, sense of humor, candidness, and her description of her discoveries about health, love, and life.
May 1, 2023
interesting
Good descriptions of cancer treatment and the necessity of letting go and easing up on yourself. Stress can be a terrible agent for illness. Enjoyable for,the most part.
Good descriptions of cancer treatment and the necessity of letting go and easing up on yourself. Stress can be a terrible agent for illness. Enjoyable for,the most part.
October 21, 2019
Normally I love these kinds of books. For some unknown reason, I didn’t like this one. Can’t put my finger on it...
September 22, 2024
Quick, easy read. Powerful sentiments throughout. Hats off to Lydia!
June 15, 2024
Fascinating memoir about a young woman's body reacting to prolonged and persistent stress factors, what happens to the most knowledgeable of doctors and how she changed her life so she could listen to her body and incorporate a spiritual aspect to her life,
March 9, 2019
This isn’t the type of book I would normally read. But I’m so glad I did.
Lydia is open and honest about her struggles with cancer, as well as her marital strain prior to her diagnosis. By the end of this book, my heart had broken for Lydia and then mended again as she describes her journey of healing.
What I appreciated most about this book was that Lydia was frank about what going through cancer treatment is like. By discussing her experiences, Lydia showed me how brave every single person with a cancer diagnosis is every single day. I gained new found respect for my family and friends who, like Lydia, have had their lives radically changed by a cancer diagnosis. I highly recommend this book.
I received a free copy of this book through the GoodReads giveaway platform.
Lydia is open and honest about her struggles with cancer, as well as her marital strain prior to her diagnosis. By the end of this book, my heart had broken for Lydia and then mended again as she describes her journey of healing.
What I appreciated most about this book was that Lydia was frank about what going through cancer treatment is like. By discussing her experiences, Lydia showed me how brave every single person with a cancer diagnosis is every single day. I gained new found respect for my family and friends who, like Lydia, have had their lives radically changed by a cancer diagnosis. I highly recommend this book.
I received a free copy of this book through the GoodReads giveaway platform.
December 27, 2019
Wait, it Gets Worse... a beautifully written documentation of the author's incredible journey through an unexpected cancer diagnosis during the height of her corporate lawyer career. So many emotions! Heartbreak, joy, confusion, fear, anger, and many other struggles. She broke down every stage of treatment in easy to understand elements and explained how it affected her personally, professionally, and in her marriage.
February 13, 2019
The book’s arrival was a surprise and although I had two other books I was reading, I decided to read just a bit of this one right away and then return to my planned reading. But I could not put it down. I’ve never read a book like this. It’s brave and blunt. Honest and bold. Walking through how Lydia processed her traumas is very compelling. And then you settle into a deep peaceful pool of wisdom at the end of the book, where it all comes together. There’s so much more to it, which I will let you discover.
March 21, 2019
I was delayed in writing this review because of the tears in my eyes. #SorryNotSorry. #WaitItGetsWorse #NetGalley
Lydia is a woman who has a perfect life. College, law degree, good job in a prestigious law firm, great husband. Except her marriage is in trouble. And she is having trouble breathing. And she is losing weight. A doctor’s appointment lands her in the ER being treated for cancer. And then open heart surgery. The heart surgery was what really got to me. Lydia is able to pull it together with the assistance of her family, her husband, her friends and an excellent health-care plan. In the end, she is able to rebuild her life the way it should be.
5 Stars (and hankies)
The book was provided by NetGalley for an honest review.
Lydia is a woman who has a perfect life. College, law degree, good job in a prestigious law firm, great husband. Except her marriage is in trouble. And she is having trouble breathing. And she is losing weight. A doctor’s appointment lands her in the ER being treated for cancer. And then open heart surgery. The heart surgery was what really got to me. Lydia is able to pull it together with the assistance of her family, her husband, her friends and an excellent health-care plan. In the end, she is able to rebuild her life the way it should be.
5 Stars (and hankies)
The book was provided by NetGalley for an honest review.
May 1, 2019
First let me say that I too have gone through this same process with lymphoma and subsequent breast cancer. This means that I can emotionally connect on a deep level with Lydia Slaby’s experiences. So much of what she writes is correct, bang on the money. I’m always leery of cancer survivor chronicles that only see a positive side (My life is completely changed, I smell the roses now etc). I thank her for providing an honest and inspiring book. Highly recommended.
My thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an arc in exchange for my honest opinion.
My thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an arc in exchange for my honest opinion.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews