Losing It: A Fictional Reimagining of my Time on Weight Loss Reality TV

by Kai Hibbard

Tisa Attau doesn’t hate her body, she just doesn’t love it. When the opportunity of a lifetime comes her way—a shot at money, reality TV “fame” and a chance to change her life— and Tisa has nothing else happening before going away to law school, she jumps on the scale in front of the cameras with both feet. As the weight drops and the stakes rise, Tisa progresses deeper into the unreal world of Reality TV, and slowly she starts to realize, that changing her reality doesn’t look the way she thought it would. Between game playing, back stabbing, affairs and too many workouts, life goes sideways. Soon Tisa is forced to question what being happy and healthy really looks like.

340 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 22, 2018

Reviews

[Kait Vanderlaan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and found the behind scenes of the show the Biggest Loser to be fascinating and horrifying, much as to be expected. I found myself getting bored at times and felt that it dragged on. I also was annoyed by the numerous pictures of scales throughout the physical book. I’m assuming this was a stylistic choice to demonstrate how the show’s obsession with weight loss and the number on the scale was everywhere, but it irritated me and I found it excessive. Maybe that was the point. Overall it was insightful and I think it’s an extremely important read!

[Cecilia · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fictional account of the author’s time on The Biggest Loser, with a body positive/ fat acceptance perspective. Potentially triggering for people who struggle with eating disorders.

Interesting enough, though it could’ve benefited from an editor.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really liked the behind the scenes "ficctional" accounts of the author's time on The Biggest Loser. Its clear that the show production portions of this book, at any rate, are somewhat based on Hibbard's own experience, and those were the parts of the book that were interesting. I didn't particularly care anything about the main character of Tisa, other than as a vessel for information, which made reading the book not so fun, even though I found it interesting. The scenes from her "real life" were so boring, despite the weirdly awkward amount of sex included, and the storylines about the other characters also not all that good- the perspective of someone who has lived through being a reality weight loss show contestant, though- that was the good stuff. Hibbard exposes a lot of what makes those shows so abhorrent- the total exploitation of the contestants, the overwhelming message of size mattering more than health, and the crazily masochistic work outs touted as good versus punishing. That was intriguing. Two stars- wish I could give it more, but it took me forever to get through the book for a reason, despite being a book I thought I'd absolutely love.

[Bree Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an important book. Not a well written book, but an important one.

Kai Hibbard is an outstanding voice in the body politics space, and for good reason. Her experience on The Biggest Loser was harrowing. To be able to read a more or less accurate accounting of her time with the show is so important, especially now with the show's revival. This is a conversation that needs to be had.

...however. Hibbard clearly isn't comfortable writing fiction. The book is badly edited, but more frustrating, the voice is amateurish and sometimes cheesy to the point of distraction. Her dialogue is strangely stilted. Her sentence structure is often so complex and muddled, it sometimes becomes difficult to follow. The back end of the book was particularly rough, riddled with confusing, mid-paragraph tense shifts and sentences that drop both commas and periods entirely. It's a harsh read.

But pushing through is worth it. The prose isn't beautiful, but it's a story that deserves to be read. Pick it up and give her your attention.