Πώς οι Γάλλοι επινόησαν τον έρωτα: 900 χρόνια πάθος και ειδύλλιο

by Marilyn Yalom, Δάφνη Κιούση (translator)

Η Μαίριλυν Γιάλομ, αναζητώντας τις πηγές της ιδιαίτερης σχέσης της Γαλλίας με τον έρωτα, αναδιφεί τη λογοτεχνία και την ιστορία της χώρας. Εδώ και εκατοντάδες χρόνια οι Γάλλοι παρουσιάζονται ως πρωτοπόροι στην τέχνη του έρωτα, μέσα από τη λογοτεχνία, τη ζωγραφική, τα τραγούδια, το θέατρο και τον κινηματογράφο τους.

Ξεκινώντας από τον αυλικό έρωτα και τους αρχετυπικούς εραστές Αβελάρδο και Ελοΐζα κατά τον Μεσαίωνα, η Μαίριλυν Γιάλομ αποδεικνύει πως η γαλλική ιδέα του έρωτα εξελίχθηκε ιστορικά και μεταμορφώθηκε μέσα στους αιώνες, λαμβάνοντας πάντοτε υπόψη τα ιδιαίτερα στοιχεία που καθιστούν το ειδύλλιο στη Γαλλία διαφορετικό από οπουδήποτε αλλού στον κόσμο. Η Φαίδρα, η φανταστική ηρωίδα του Ρακίνα, ο κυνικός έρωτας στον Μολιέρο, οι ερωτικές επιστολές της Ζυλί ντε Λεσπινάς, η προσωπικότητα και τα γραπτά της Ζωρζ Σαντ, το ερωτικό πάθος της με τον Αλφρέντ ντε Μυσσέ, η Μαντάμ Μποβαρύ και η Αισθηματική αγωγή, ο Συρανό ντε Μπερζεράκ, ο Προυστ, ο Αντρέ Ζιντ, η Κολετ αλλά και ο έρωτας των υπαρξιστών Σιμόν ντε Μπωβουάρ και Ζαν-Πωλ Σάρτρ και το πάθος και ο πόθος στον γαλλικό κινηματογράφο, με παράδειγμα το Ένας άντρας και μια γυναίκα του Κλωντ Λελούς (που μια εικόνα του κοσμεί το εξώφυλλο) ενσαρκώνουν τις διαφορετικές εκφάνσεις της ρομαντικής αβρότητας, του πάθους στα χρόνια της Επανάστασης, του λιμπερτινισμού, του έρωτα μεταξύ ανδρών και μεταξύ γυναικών, του υπαρξισμού και της ερωτοληψίας, καθώς και του πόθου τον 21ο αιώνα.

Ακόμη κι όταν η Γιάλομ ελαφραίνει την ατμόσφαιρα με παρεκβάσεις που αποκαλύπτουν τη δική της σκωπτική θεώρηση του κόσμου, αυτή η εκπληκτικά γραμμένη και εξαιρετικά καθηλωτική της μελέτη αναλυτικής πολιτισμικής ιστορίας αποτελεί ακαδημαϊκή κατηγορία από μόνη της.


«Η Μαίριλυν Γιάλομ μας οδηγεί στην εξερεύνηση του πόθου, του ειδυλλίου, του σεξ και του πάθους αλά γαλλικά. Σαν τον ντετέκτιβ που αναλαμβάνει μια καυτή υπόθεση, σκαλίζει τη λογοτεχνία και τη ζωή, φέρνοντας στο φως τα μυστήρια του έρωτα. Το βιβλίο σίγουρα θα σας συνεπάρει».
– ELLEN SUSSMAN, συγγραφέας του French Lessons

«Το έργο της Μαίριλυν Γιάλομ αντλεί τη γοητεία του από τις γαλλικές ερωτικές ιστορίες. Εξερευνά τα μυστήρια και την πολυπλοκότητα του έρωτα όπως μας παραδόθηκε μέσα από αιώνες γαλλικής λογοτεχνίας. Πηγαίνει πέρα από τα γνωστά κλισέ και μας παρέχει μια εμπεριστατωμένη μελέτη, μια πλούσια ψυχολογική και πολιτισμική επισκόπηση».
– PIERRE SAINT-AMAND, Πανεπιστήμιο Μπράουν,
συγγραφέας του The Pursuit of Laziness : An Idle Interpretation of the Enlightenment

«Μια ευκολοδιάβατη περιήγηση μέσα από τις εναλλασσόμενες γαλλικές προσεγγίσεις του έρωτα κατά την τελευταία χιλιετία… Καθηλωτικό».
–New Yorker

«Η νέα μελέτη της Μαίριλυν Γιάλομ υπερβαίνει τα στερεότυπα, εστιάζει στη λογοτεχνία και προβάλλει εμπεριστατωμένα, εκλεπτυσμένα και γοητευτικά επιχειρήματα υπέρ της γαλλικής ερωτικής “επινόησης”».
– Los Angeles Review of Books

Genres: Nonfiction, History, France, Love, Books About Books, Romance, Audiobook

416 pages, Paperback

First published October 23, 2012

About the author

Marilyn Yalom grew up in Washington D.C. and was educated at Wellesley College, the Sorbonne, Harvard and Johns Hopkins. She has been a professor of French and comparative literature, director of an institute for research on women, a popular speaker on the lecture circuit, and the author of numerous books and articles on literature and women's history.

Reviews

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I was led astray by the title of this book How the French Invented Love--doesn't that suggest a sociological explanation of the significance of love in French culture? Now of course, love is important in every culture. But to my romantic American Francophile mind, the French seem to have cornered the market on love. Stereotype or not, it seems to me that the French, both throughout history and today, are much more devoted to the pleasures of love. I was expecting a sociological exploration of this belief. In reading this, I wanted to learn: why do we associate the French so strongly with love? is the French emphasis on love fact or fiction? how do the French treat love differently from other cultures?

Unfortunately, this book somewhat broaches these questions but not sociologically. Rather, Yalom, who writes both congenially and informatively, takes us on a sweeping adventure through French love literature. She begins with the tragic story of Abelard and Heloise, whom she names the "patron saints" of French love. From there we discuss Chrétien de Troyes' Arthurian romances and his focus on courtly love before moving to the invention of gallantry during the reign of Sun King Louis XIV. Then we investigate the Romantics' fixation/fascination on love as the absolute purpose of life and finally we explore the more modern cynicism toward love as found in Proust and Flaubert's Madame Bovary. Yalom does not limit herself to heterosexual love either--lesbian and gay relationships are well-covered. What I found most interesting about this chronological expedition through French literature was the oscillation between periods of romantic attitudes toward love followed by periods of jaded attitudes toward love. A lot of French love literature is motivated by backlash toward these ideals.

While this book left me with a long list of French love stories to seek out, I didn't get the answer to my most pressing questions: do the French actually love differently? and if they do, why? This omission was somewhat assuaged by Yalom's inclusion of several personal anecdotes on French love. She tells charming real life stories of French lovers that are so utterly French in character that I can't help but believe that l'amour à la française is not merely imagined but truly exists.

Here's a LONG list of French works focused on love that Yalom has inspired me to read as soon as possible:
The Lais of Marie de France
The Princesse de Clèves
Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Manon Lescaut
The Misanthrope
The Complete Claudine: Claudine at School; Claudine in Paris; Claudine Married; Claudine and Annie
Indiana
Madame Bovary
Cyrano De Bergerac
Remembrance of Things Past: Volume I - Swann's Way & Within a Budding Grove
The Lover

So obviously that list suggests that you probably shouldn't pick this book up if you're not looking to add even MORE books to your already towering TBR pile. The Francophile in me, however, can't wait.

[Sydney Young · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, having been fascinated with the French and French literature and culture since I pilfered Angelique off of Mom's bookshelf when I was too young to read it (what an American sentiment!). I then proceeded to find and buy all the books in the series, and later managed to study law in France for a summer. I believe that a number of French concepts in those books greatly influenced my life for the better. I have always sought out French classics but, of course, have not been able to read them all, despite my Literature major in college. I now have an even better understanding of the important French literary contributions (novels, letters, author histories, and even some movies) to the French ideals of love from its inception through its ups, downs and all arounds. Thanks Marilyn Yalom for listening to your literary agent and writing this important work, and for treating all the evolutions of love so passionately and thoroughly. Your epilogue was just right; I now have a new item on my bucket list, when I return to Notre Dame one day. I also will definitely read one of your favorite books: "La Princess de Cleves"and look forward to it.


(Thank you to the publisher for allowing me a preview of the book.)

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from Harper Collins through a First Reads giveaway, thank you!

I was slightly mislead by the title How the French Invented Love and maybe even a little by the description. This book is a quick review of the major novels about love, affairs, sex, desire, and anything related that Yalom felt described the time in which they were written. With stories about their authors and her own personal stories in between, this gives us a picture of France for the last 900 years or so. While this wasn't what I was expecting, it was still a pleasant surprise!

When I read the title, I took this to mean Yalom was going to discuss how the French had influenced love through the rest of society. I didn't read much, if anything to that affect. This book was all about the history of love in France, whether that be people who were born in France or moved there to take part in their forward thinking views.

Regardless, I loved reading all the different ways in which people loved each other, particularly those chapters on love that were not familiar to me. These included the chapters on the existentialists, women's affairs, and marriage hundreds of years ago. I think one of the biggest things we can take away from this book is that love works differently for everyone. What makes one happy doesn't necessarily make another happy. What we need to accept as a society is to each his own!

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title of this book is somewhat misleading. This is not an exploration of how the French idea of love has influenced the Western world through novels, films, theatre, poetry, philosophy and art. There is no argument at all to this effect, and the book never strays outside of France to look at the impact of all of this cultural romantic outpouring. What it is, is a history of love as portrayed via French novels, films, theatre, poetry, philosophy and art. And as such it succeeds admirably.

It's an interesting read, ranging from the troubadours of the twelfth-century up to the Strauss-Kahn controversy in 2011. It takes in Abelard and Heloise, Lancelot and Guinivere, up to Satre and Beavouir, taking in both heterosexual and homosexual love. I know very little about French literature, but I found this exploration of love via the words of Rousseau, Hugo, Proust and others quite enlightening.

What I particularly found interesting is Yalom's argument that to the French, the line dividing love and sex is a very fine one. Whereas English literature is full of chaste lovers, Yalom argues that the French would not consider love without sex as a true, all-encompassing, fulfilling love. As a result, there is a strong current of physical love running through this book alongside the concept of romantic love.

As I said, an interesting read, well-worth the time, but the title is misleading. This is not, as the title suggests, an argument as to how the French idea of love has shaped and formed how the rest of the world views and experiences love. I would have given it an extra star had it been.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

As the wife of a Frenchman, I was very curious to read this book. It will be very enjoyable for history and literature lovers as Yalom traces French history and literature relating to love from the times of the troubadours up to the present day. Yalom gave a comprehensive overview of literary movements in France and I have a much better understanding of French literary history. That said however, there is not much more to this book.

While I enjoyed the book, one thing I didn't like was all the sweeping generalizations and stereotypes, although I suppose writing a book on "the French" automatically lends itself to generalizations. Anyone reading this book who doesn't personally know a French person will finish this book believing that all French spouses are unfaithful and the French live for pleasure without regard to morals. I know there is a big generational difference regarding infidelity (with the younger generation expecting marital fidelity, in contrast to Yalom's generation), but I still couldn't help feeling that my husband and his friends wouldn't agree with what the author declared French people to believe. The author also name drops a lot and I had the feeling that she included several details just to make us think she's very cultured and important. It really rubs me the wrong way when an author comes across as self-important.

That said, Yalom knows her stuff. I really learned a LOT from this book and have added many books to my to-read list. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves French literature, but probably not anyone else.

[Narges · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting review of 900 years of French literature, culture and outlook towards Love

[Pali Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hneď na úvod musím poznamenať, že nie len Yalom, ale aj Yalomova manželka to so slovami vie. Nečakane pútavé čítanie.
Názov knihy je mierne nadnesený, ale chytľavý, to sa musí nechať. Francúzsko sa môže pýšiť mnohými symbolmi zamilovanosti a Paríž sa považovala/považuje nie len za kolísku umenia, ale aj za hlavné mesto lásky. Napriek tomu kniha nezachytáva patenty Francúzov na lásku. Čo zachytáva, sú skôr dôkladne analyzované dejiny lásky cez francúzsku literatúru (najmä), divadlo, umenie a filozofiu naprieč poslednými deviatimi storočiami. Marilyn Yalom do svojej non-fiction historickej zbierky povyberala naozaj crème de la crème z bohatého kultúrneho dedičstva lásky tejto krajiny.
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Chronológia začína v 12. storočí vrcholného stredoveku, keď sa na svetlo sveta predierali nepožehnané lásky, kláštorné tajomstvá, rytierske romance a dvorenia nie len na kráľovských dvoroch. Prehupnutím do novoveku prichádzali iné témy- ľúbostné trojuholníky ako štandard, milenecký apetít ako prejav zdravia. Neskôr to boli osvietenstvo, romantizmus, realizmus, ale aj známa la belle époque a existencializmus. V knihe sa nájdu rešerše o Molièrovi, Rousseauovi, Stendhalovi a cez Flauberta, Rimbauda, Wilda, Prousta sa dostaneme k Sartrovi, Simone de Beauvoirovej a k Durasovej až po tematické uzatvorenie 21. storočím.
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Najviac ma pochopiteľne bavili kapitoly o autoroch, ktorých diela poznám. Dozvedel som sa aj množstvo iných zaujímavostí (proste pikošky), no okrem šťavnatého výberu Marilyn Yalom poprepájala storočia a odtiene lásky svojimi úvahami, osobnými príhodami a dopĺňala ich aj psychologickými kontextami.
Táto kniha bola veľmi príjemná záležitosť, dobre sa čítala a myslím, že je vhodná nie len pre knihomoľov a frankofilov.
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Marilyn Yalom je známa najmä svojimi feministicky ladenými non-fiction dielami- A History of the Breasts, A History of the Wife, a ak nerátam spoluautorstvo s manželom pri knihe Otázka smrti a života, kniha Ako Francúzi vymysleli lásku je prvým slovenským prekladom Yalomovej, a keď som si pozrel inojazyčné edície, dovolím si povedať, že s najvydarenejšou obálkou.
Skúste ;)

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt privileged to have read this - and by that, I mean that the word "privilege[d/s]" appeared a little too frequently for my tastes (according to the Search feature on my Kindle, it was a mere 15 times, but a few of those times appeared in the same small Kindle window). As this was an ARC, perhaps that's changed in the final version.

My bigger quibble was that this was not really about the French inventing love, it was how French literature influenced and/or mimicked the state of love in France, starting with the courtly love of the Middle Ages and ending with the sexual revolution as described by Catherine Millet. In other words, literary social history. Now, that's not bad, but it felt like the title and subtitle were false advertising.

As for the contents, perhaps it helps if you've read many (most) of the books discussed (as I have, some in translation, some in the original). It added to my appreciation of how the works in question revealed something about the society at that time, although often I wondered what the "real" French were thinking and doing; literacy being a privilege of the upper classes in the earlier years, would peasants really have been aware of how Cyrano's words affected Roxanne? Or how best to woo a woman? Was adultery as accepted by those in the countryside as it was those in Paris and royal (or semi-royal) circles? These are questions that the author does not address. Obviously there's more evidence and discussion about how the non-literary/average classes feel about things once we move into the 1800s, but even at the end, when the question of Dominique Strauss-Kahn comes up, it feels like there's something missing.

ARC provided by publisher.

[Natalie E. Ramm · Rating 5 out of 5]

How the French Invented Love is a non-fiction book of epic proportion! Not in size but in length of time that it covers. Marilyn Yalom takes an in depth look at love in fiction and poetry over a period of 900 years, starting circa 1100 AD through the 20th century, and she even touches on the 21st century! It is amazingly informative without being pedantic or boring. Her literary examples were the kind that really stick with you and encourage you to explore texts that you normally wouldn’t (unless you were in a French Literature class). My reading list is ever growing…

Yalom is American but is extremely invested in French culture. This gives her a unique perspective that helps us understand how French literature and culture (which is so different from American) molds how the French think about love and romance (and why it’s such a different view than what Americans have). As a feminist, an academic, and a woman devoted to her husband of many years, Yalom is a kindred spirit. She can’t help but add her own views of love in the texts she chooses to present and the way she discusses them. Yalom is a romantic who worries about the present and future of romance but without being accusatory.

This book touches on heterosexual and homosexual romance through history which is fascinating! I wanted to learn more about homosexuality in a historical context, but had no idea that I would do so in such an interesting manner and so soon. This book focuses mostly on France, but does discuss the literature and laws of England at the same time.

[Black_Venus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kezdő írók és irodalomtörténészek! Tanuljatok a profitól: így lehet eladni egy francia irodalomtörténetet egy vonzó borítóval és szexi címmel még egy olyan valakinek is, aki francia szakon végzett.
Kellemes, olvasmányos irodalomtörténet, és erősen feminista nézőpontú, a szerzők és művek kiválasztását tekintve. Próbál eltérni a kánontól, mindenképpen talál női szerzőt is, aki illusztrálhatja az adott korszakot. Engem meglepett pl. a Clèves hercegnő felmagasztalásával. A francia irodalom alatt francia szerzőket ért, akik Franciaországban írtak – a gyarmatok pl teljesen kimaradnak, Duras kivételével –, a középkortól a 2016-ig. Külön fejezetben tér ki a melegekre és a leszbikusokra, bár mintha csak a 19. században léteztek volna, más korszakból nincs példa.
A téma miatt lesz a könyv érdekes: hogyan konstruálja és illusztrálja a francia irodalom és az irodalmi élet a szerelmet – francia módra. A középkorban a lovagi szerelem, a trubadúrköltészet egyfajta ellenkultúrává vált az alapvetően anyagi életközösséget jelentő házasság intézményével szemben. Aztán erre épülve kialakult az a szemlélet, hogy a házasságon kívül lehet keresni a „boldogságot”, a testi örömöket is akár, de bármennyire is testi szerelem központúak a franciák, azért a hálószobáig vezető út, – legyen az egy irodalmi szalonban a csevegés, vagy egy hosszabb episztoláris udvarlás, vagy a csábítás bármely más módja –, legalább olyan élvezetes, mint ami zárt ajtók mögött történik. A franciák szerint nincs is azzal probléma, ha valakinek (főként a férjnek) minden délután 5-7-ig pásztorórája van a szeretőjével. Hiszen a változatosság gyönyörködtet – persze a szerető miatt nem érdemes válni, mert a házasság azért szent dolog. Ezért is volt rendkívül bosszantó és butácska Bovaryné.
A francia politikusok, állami vezetők részéről nem probléma, ha szeretőt tartanak, inkább felértékelődnek a választók szemében, mint igazi dögösmacsópasik. Többször összehasonlítja az amerikai nézetekkel, pl. szerinte a Monica Lewinksy-ügyhöz hasonló eset miatt a francia elnök biztosan nem bukott volna meg, inkább még férfiasabbnak tartanák.. de a franciáknál nem elegáns a hódításokkal dicsekedni, és nem is politikai ütőkártya a félrelépés.
A francia irodalommal ismerkedéshez jó alap, ráadásnak pedig megkapjuk azt a kicsit nosztalgikus hangulatot, amikor az eszünkbe jut a robogóról lepattanó srác a Boul' Saint Mich sarkán, aki hosszú, forró csókban forr össze a barátnőjével, egy olyan buborékban, ahová nem hatol be a nagyváros zaja.
(A szerző Irvin D. Yalom neje, többször emlegeti is a férjét és a közös emlékeiket a könyvben.)

[Vassilis Christakis · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best essays on the history of French romantic literature. Erudite, humane, deep, and insightful. A must for those into French lit.

[Mikey B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Page 252 (my book) attributed to Marie de France who lived in the 12 century
“Ni vous sans moi, ni moi sans vous” – “Neither you without me, neither I without you”.

Page 155
To love excessively, wildly, madly to sacrifice and even humble oneself for love is a radical but not unrepresentative expression of French culture.
The ability to love ... a reliable measure of worth.

Page 195
Love was worth living and dying for. In novels and plays, women and men died of broken hearts, even as the authors recovered and went on to new romances.

Page 235
[Even after their defeat in 1870] the Third Republic was ready to prove to the world that it was still the home of fashion, food, art, culture, and love.

Given the subject matter how could this not be an entertaining book! We are presented by the author with a crash course in French literature – and French figures of literature – and how they espoused any type of romance. We are given the whole gamut – true love, passion, jealousy, adultery, marriage... All this, from medieval times to the present. And it would seem that the French are always ahead – although I suspect that the Spanish, Italians, and others would dispute this. There are times where I felt the author was off-track. For instance in the last chapter “Love in the Twenty-first Century”, to quote “Premarital sex, living together ...are ousting old-fashioned lifetime marriage”. Really – these behaviors were in acceptance forty years ago (starting in the 1960’s).

Interestingly she brings up the fact that a few hundred years ago it was “quietly acceptable” for aristocratic women to seek affairs outside of marriage (probably because most marriages of that era were arranged), but not acceptable to experience sexual pleasures before marriage. In our day and age it may be “more acceptable” in general for women to seek “affairs” before marriage and “less acceptable” after marriage. I will end this now and do not wish to open up a discussion on the double standards surrounding male behavior! And I do not imply any moral judgement on the use of the word “acceptable” – what adult people do in their bedrooms (or elsewhere) is their business.

I am not particularly familiar with French novelists, but this Proust fellow strikes me as tremendously tormented.
From page 267
“No other writer renders the misery of love so compellingly.”

And I always thought that existentialism and love were incompatible, but apparently not, for the author discusses the intertwined lives of Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir. And who can match Gustave Flaubert’s “Madam Bovary” for cynicism. But then came “Cyrano de Bergerac” to resurrect romanticism from the sordid gutters!

Some varied quotes from the book. Some wonderful and some less so – this is love after all, where emotions are never in neutral!

Page 109
Amour-passion – the kind of love you would hope to experience at least once in a lifetime.

Page 114
Sentiment, feeling, emotion never disappear.

Page 122
Who does not treasure the belief in a soul mate? Who does not wish to find someone to love, with the hope of being loved in return?

Page 126 from Nicolas Chamfort (1741 – 1794)
“Love, as it exists in society, is only the contact of two epidermises”

Page 126
Love engaging the heart as well as the body

Page 134 Julie de Lespinasse (1732 -1766)
Had “the good fortune of loving and being loved”

Page 140
[Julie de Lespinasse] captivated through her mind and speech.

Page 205
Neither the romantic nor the hedonist is a fully satisfying ideal.

Page 233
[Even after the cynicism of Madame Bovary] romantic love, like bulbs buried underground in the winter, was only waiting for the proper atmosphere to flower again.

[Bryn · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a really annoying book!

It starts out being just what the title says -- Yalom argues that the concept of romantic love was unknown (at least in the Western world) until the French invented it during the 13th century. Okay, fine, I don't think this is true, but I was willing to read along with it, and the first few chapters are interesting looks at medieval love stories like Abelard and Heloise set into the context of their times. It was a fun mix of things I knew & things I didn't with a good thread running through it. I wasn't sure I agreed with Yalom's conclusions, but it gave me lots of things to think about.

As the book went on, though, I started to run into issues:

1. Somewhere during the 18th century Yalom drops the historical aspects of her story in favour of straight literary appreciations. She talks about women of the Revolutionary period being "born into the bourgeois milieu" but never tells us how this milieu developed. This is the point, I think, where the book quits even trying to be a cultural history about the French idea of love & starts just being 'Books Marilyn Yalom really likes that are about people in love.'

2. Yalom seems to be a Freudian and thus gets really into men picking women to be maternal figures due to "want of satisfactory mothering" in their childhoods, about which I am extremely dubious.

3. Yalom is very judgemental of women's physical appearance, saying things like "a Parisian of the upper bourgeoisie may resemble a peasant in the Auvergne only to the extent that a thoroughbred horse looks like a plow horse." I am so horrified to find this kind of 'good breeding' language in a book written this century by a woman who calls herself a feminist that my mind just boggles. Later on she talks about how if a woman works really, really, really hard at it, "it is possible for a woman to keep her sex appeal well into her later years." This is less surprising but I still find it awful.

By the end of the book Yalom is no longer even trying to explore the history of the concept of romantic love, but instead bemoaning the fact that nobody believes in Legendary Monogamous Love nowadays, and people do not get married expecting to be together for fifty years, and then she talks about a bunch of French movies and how many stars she would give them. I see how she was supposedly tying this into 'What do the French think about love now?' but movie reviews are not cultural history! Neither are Yalom's opinions about cosmetic surgery! Neither are her racist comments about how strange and wonderful it is that people of colour identify with French literature!

I don't think I will be reading any of her other works.

[Megan Chance · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting a rather more scholarly treatise here, but this book is not really that. It never really enters into the conversation posed by the title--instead, Yalom looks at French literature through the centuries, summarizing the books she's chosen, talking a bit about the authors and their lives. While there is some talk of how these books reflected French culture, she doesn't really draw conclusions, nor does she talk much about how they influenced the culture, or if they did (with a few exceptions), or what made the French what they are when it comes to love, women and sex. She does make some very interesting points about French attitudes toward love and sex as compared to American attitudes, but she never explains why the French are that way. Having said that, Yalom raises some interesting questions (though I'm not sure she does so deliberately), and opens some doors in terms of providing insight into another culture. It's an easy book to read, very conversational, with many personal anecdotes, and so it should appeal to a non-scholarly audience. I wanted a bit more, but I enjoyed what was there.

[LemontreeLime · Rating 4 out of 5]

The surprise of this book is it's really a cross century examination of French literature. And I don't remember who said it or where i read it originally, but in France if you want to change the world, all you have to do is write a novel. Their fiction has more power than the government over it's people. And this book really made that clear just how close the culture is linked to its written words. I never thought about how much the atmosphere of romance was also linked into their books, until Yalom pointed out which books were taught in high school and earlier - A Princess of Cleves and Dangerous Liaisons. Here in the States, we read Tom Sawyer and the Scarlet Letter. Wow if that doesn't answer a ton of questions, and knock some things into perspective, I don't know what does. Good work, brave writing. REALLY brave writing. Looking forward to Marilyn's next book, which I will definitely plan on reading now.

[Tatiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Francophile and avid reader of cultural history, I found this book perusing my library's ebook selection and what a treasure! It is a literary history of the French concept of love from the chivalry code that started in medieval France to the current cynical view of love in twenty-first century French culture. At first hesitant that this book would read more like a tome for a comparative literature course (the author does teach at Stanford after all), Marilyn Yalom's writing style of very approachable and easy to follow. She weaves stories of lives, books, and her own personal history, creating a wonderful look of this evolving concept of love. In fact, I loved her writing so much, I am now seeking her backlog, which also follows the history trail of some of our cultural norms.

Do pick this book up of the subject interests you even in the slightest. You may even get some good recommendations on French romans by reading it!

[Diana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stopped reading this book when I wasn't even halfway done because of the multitude of annoying sidebar statements about her personal opinions or life anecdotes, many of them barely relevant to the topic or surprisingly sexist. Here's where I had to stop: "I've heard enough personal stories in my life to know that some people, mostly men, get their sexual highs by manipulating, abusing, or beating up on women." This was the second or third blatantly sexist statement based on "personal stories" in a book written by a literary scholar. I just can't take a researcher seriously when this is what is considered credible data. The author's blatant sexism being magically reinforced by her buddies is neither scientific nor credible in those terms, and it devalues the book as a whole.

[joie de livre · Rating 3 out of 5]

loved having a cohesive anthologie of romance and french lit. very inspiring and fascinating! the writing pretty mediocre tho + weirdly personal comments at times? haha 3 stars but enjoyed it way more than that

[Jaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the title of this book, I thought it was going to be a sociological exploration into the romance and courting habits of the French. I was pleasantly surprised to find out it was about French romantic literature. There were a few sociological-type personal anecdotes from the author about herself as well as friends and associates. I thought the anecdotes were distracting from what really interested me--the changing views of love and romance in French literature. I found the scope of the literature choices interesting and liked hearing the personal histories of some of the authors. I enjoyed this more as a literary exploration than I probably would have as a sociological exploration. Glad I didn't judge this book by its cover.

[Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh. I wanted to like this a lot more than I did and thought I would. Bought the book a few months ago and decided to move it to the front of my "to read" list with the rather timely events of French President Francois Hollande's romantic entanglements.

The book is not so much a history but rather how love is portrayed in many pieces of French history and literature. Some of it is fascinating and is sure to intrigue people interested those who have an interest in French history, literature, etc. From Lancelot to Guinevere to touching upon the recent escapades of Presidents Sarkozy and Hollande (although not the latter's most recent romantic drama), the author traces love, adultery, affairs, desire, etc. throughout time, both heterosexual and homosexual, although the latter only get a couple of chapters.

Yet the book seemed lacking somehow. I expected that we'd get a bit more about how kings and presidents took on mistresses and lovers and perhaps some historical perspective on that. Or at the very least, more of a contrast to what is done now vs. previously or even vis a vis in comparison to what happens in the US (ie Clinton and Lewinsky). Again, these are touched upon, but it is not something that goes more in depth. Instead it's much more focused on portrayals in literature, and perhaps gives the French concept of love a much more "romantic" glow. I understand this is not a sociological study, but I felt there was a LOT more the author could have done with the book.

The author ends with a brief discussion of Dominique Strauss-Kahn and the sexual assault allegations against him, but maintains the "romantic" discussion of love. While I did not necessarily want or need that dark story to end the book, it would have been nice to also discuss the place of power, wealth, etc. and what it can do to manipulate or influence love matches or otherwise.

It's not a bad read, especially if you're familiar with the various references to literature and history, but not being a French expert did not necessarily hinder me. Recommend the library before deciding to buy it.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

This scholarly and passionate review of love, sex and romance was wonderfully readable. Presenting the idea of love as a cultural inspiration not unlike the literary influences on Don Quijote, Marilyn Yalom shows how romance has changed over the ages and what has remained the same. I take great delight in knowing that the book's author, who can write so passionately about what gives life meaning, is married to one of the best known existential therapists, Irvin Yalom, who writes about loneliness and death and freedom and lack of a predetermined meaning. Can this couple of authors come to be the equivalent of de Beauvoir and Sartre? Let's wait and see if this is another legend in the making. Meanwhile, enjoy the book, it is illuminating.

[Marck Rimorin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Picked it up on impulse (noticed how people were staying away from it, lol), but this is a very fantastic read. A long (sometimes meandering), but very entertaining and illuminating crash course on love and amorous relationships from the French POV: how the physical cannot be divorced from the emotional. All this is told in over 900 years of French literary, artistic, and cinematic history. Awesome must-read nonfiction.

[Nicki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Think of love. Think of Paris. Think of sweet coffeeshop loves. Thing of burning passion of the unapologetic adulteress. Think the chastity of ancient courts. Think of the poems and the myths and the legends. Think of revolutions. Think of the Gay Nineties. Think of France.

Think of love, and read the book.

[Wyndy KnoxCarr · Rating 5 out of 5]

While appalled by the lack of “people skills” or “emotional intelligence” displayed by certain world leaders in the news and stiff-upper-lipped British characters in films of Remains of the Day and Sense and Sensibility at Berkeley Public Library, I looked up and saw the title of Marilyn Yalom’s book on my shelf. Nine Hundred Years of Passion and Romance! Well, YEAH! PLEASE! As the Doobie Brothers sang, “Without love/ Where would you be now?”

Yalom’s a senior scholar across the Bay at Stanford’s Clayman Institute for Gender Research, but hey, any port in a storm. Plenty of feminist pacifist sensual romantic readers over here in Berkeley.

Professor Yalom sure knows her stuff. All the way back to medievals Héloïse and Abélard, to say nothing of Gide, Colette, Molière, Balzac, Sand, Proust, Leduc, and the extramarital affairs of De Beauvoir and Sartre. She unearths epistolatory salonistes like Julie de Lespinasse, memoirs of revolutionaries proud to breastfeed for Rousseau’s theories of “the natural human,” Paris as “the city of love” in the theater during La Belle Époque and everything from the “sentimentally sacred” to Les Liaisons Dangereuses, “perversely profane.”(p.116)

Many French, then and now, assume love’s “forthright insistence on sexual pleasure,” (p.xi) rather than Puritanical conflicts. As far back as Courtly Love “became feminized,” it “inaugurated a tradition of French women writers, who took up the theme of love from their own perspective” and “romantic love… predicated on obstacles, there to intensify the experience” including family, religion, society, age differences and marital boundaries. (p.41-42) “Love simply doesn’t have the same moral overlay that we Americans expect it to have.” (p.xii)

I agree with her that “I can’t bear to read (the Marquis de) Sade…he makes me sick,” and I’m glad she declares, “I don’t intend to inflict him on my readers…So be it,” (p.127) while charting all the literary and cultural swings from “a story that ennobles” to dissolute libertinage.(p.72) Misogyny is not foreign to France, of course, where Colette’s husband, “Willy” published her Claudine novels under his own name, kept the money and the copyrights after their divorce during her Vagabonde stage career while she was “earning barely enough to survive and often hungry and unwell.” (Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colette)

Yalom does, however, trace how “This French feminization of love, with its roots reaching back to troubadour poetry and medieval romance, contrasts markedly with the ancient Greek masculinist ideal.” She posits an internal French paradox, too, between “the obsessive nature of romantic love… its tendency to take precedence over all other human relations” for both men and women and “their Catholic heritage, which has had a notably troubled relationship with carnal desire.” (p.96-97)

They, too, have experienced “a malaise …among certain men and women who have become afraid of love” in the 21st Century outside of pornographic or commercialized ideals, but not nearly so much as we have in the United States.(p.346-7) The medium has just changed: “While American films excel in technological innovation, violence, explosions, mystery, animation and science fiction, the French continue to zero in on the intimate space between lovers” in cinema as “the foremost conveyor of romance.” (p.351)

Americans traveled thousands of miles to put padlocks on bridges in Paris, where love is continually reinvented and redefined, then kissed and threw away the keys. The bridges may be taboo now according to municipal law, but l’amour never will be.

Knox Book Beat, for The Berkeley Times, Wyndy Knox Carr

Yalom, Marilyn, 2012, How the French Invented Love: Nine Hundred Years of Passion and Romance, Harper Collins (Perennial), New York NY.

()http://gender.stanford.edu/people/mar... ()

Marilyn Yalom has an extensive list of scholarly publications, including Blood Sisters (1993), A History of the Breast (1997), A History of the Wife (2001), Birth of the Chess Queen (2004) and How the French Invented Love (2012), which was a finalist for the Christian Gauss Phi Beta Kappa literary criticism award. Her 2008 book, The American Resting Place, contains a portfolio of 64 black and white art photos taken by her son Reid. Her edited books include Women Writers of the West Coast with photos by Margo Davis, Rethinking the Family with Barrie Thorne, Coming to Light with Diane Middlebrook, Revealing Lives with Susan Bell, and Inside the American Couple with Laura Carstensen. Her most recent book is The Social Sex: A History of Female Friendship.

Yalom, a former professor of French, was decorated by the French government in 1992 as an Officier des Palmes Académiiques “for services rendered to French culture.” In 2009 she was presented with a Certificate of Recognition from the California State Assembly “honoring extraordinary leadership in the literary arts and continued commitment to ensuring the quality of reading” through her book The American Resting Place: Four Hundred Years of History, “thereby benefiting the people of the City and County of San Francisco and the State of California.” In 2013, she was awarded an Alumnae Achievement Award by Wellesley College, the college’s highest honor.
In Print

Valentine’s Day talk on book “How the French Invented Love” , Kansas City Star: February 12, 2013
A History of the Wife, by Marilyn Yalom. Harper Perennial Read more
Birth of the Chess Queen: A History, by Marilyn Yalom. Harper Perennial Read more
Coming to Light: American Women Poets in the Twentieth Century (Women and Culture Series), by Diane Wood Middlebrook, Marilyn Yalom. University of Michigan Press Read more
How the French Invented Love: Nine Hundred Years of Passion and Romance, by Marilyn Yalom. Harper Perennial Read more
Maternity, Mortality, and the Literature of Madness, by Marilyn Yalom. Pennsylvania State Univ Pr (Txt) Read more
The American Resting Place: 400 Years of History Through Our Cemeteries and Burial Grounds, by Marilyn Yalom, Reid S. Yalom. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Read more

[Amni Yusoff · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the required reading novels for high school students in Malaysia is Leftenan Adnan, a story about a national military hero. In the US, it’s Animal Farm, an allegorical tale about politics and power. In France, it’s Dangerous Liaisons, a story about two aristocrats who are in a race to see who can bed the most people.

This single example illustrates why we often think of France as the country of love. Since 900 years ago, the country and its people have been obsessed with love, so much so that it’s become a part of their national character. Love stories dazzle and capture hearts, and from this more stories are given birth to and experienced.

Marilyn Yalom takes us on a journey across centuries. She shows us the many forms love has taken in the French zeitgeist, first in literature, then how people adopt it in their own lives. She covers sixteen types of love, from the courtly love of knights to the essential and polygamous love of Sartre and Beauvoir. It’s an entertaing read, and one that will surely rekindle the dying flames in you.

[Ερωφίλη · Rating 5 out of 5]

Η Marilyn Yalom στο βιβλίο «πως οι Γάλλοι επινόησαν τον έρωτα» αναλύει σε 16 κεφάλια πάμπολλα λογοτεχνικά έργα Γάλλων και γαλλίδων δημιουργών. Θα το χαρακτήριζα ως ένα βιβλίο ιστορίας της τέχνης το οποίο καλύπτει τον αναγνώστη καθώς τα έργα αναλύονται με χρονολογική σειρά: ξεκινάει από τον μεσαίωνα (με την Ελοΐζα και τον Αβελάρδο) και καταλήγει στην εποχή μας, τον εικοστό πρώτο αιώνα. Ο αναγνώστης περιηγείται και συστήνεται στη γαλλική κουλτούρα - όχι μόνο τη πτυχή της που αφορά τον έρωτα. Η συγγραφέας αναλύει πλήθος θεμάτων που αφορούν τον ερωτισμό: τη μεγάλη διαφορά ηλικίας ανάμεσα σε δυο εραστές, τη θρησκευτική πίστη, τη κοινωνική ιεραρχία, την ηθική (πρέπει το άτομο να επιλέξει την ευτυχία που προσφέρει ο έρωτας ή την αξιοπρέπεια που προσφέρει η ηθική;), την μυθολογία, την αιμομιξία, τη σχέση με τη μητέρα, την ομοφυλοφιλία και το λεσβιασμό. Ολοκληρώνει με ένα απίστευτο φινάλε - αναφορά στην σεξουαλική βία. Η λογοτεχνική της γραφή σε συνδιασμό με ιστορίες από την προσωπική της ζωή και σχέση με τη Γαλλία δημιουργούν το αίσθημα του οικείου που βιώνω κάθε φορά στα γραπτά της.

[Lisa Westerfield · Rating 2 out of 5]

Egads, this was a hard book to get through even though it was written by one of my favorite historians. I have no interest in romance so the fault lies with me in buying and reading this book. I might be labeled an ugly American but sweet Jesus the French seem so...I don't know, uninteresting? I am sure I am judging too harshly all because during the opening nd closing of the Paris Olympics including can-can dancers who were out of step and native dreary dressed French singers who sang like gargling mountain goats. Of all the book and films Yalom used as example of stories but wouldn't clue readers in on the endings; the one book I did ready was The Secret Life of Catherine M. A biography of the woman's sexual exploits with the background of the French art scene. Now that book was interesting.

[Mallory Gillespie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Very pleasantly surprised. I don't gravitate to french literature or anything really about France but this book kept me captivated. The author is very detailed and provides imagery that really showcases the French culture and their depiction of love. I also have a better understanding of the french and the culture differences and why they are so much more calm about affairs and infidelity. Would recommend to anyone wanting to know more about France. Can't believe I found this at the Dollar Tree!

[Stars Above Jess]

This was not what I was expecting going in! Rather than focus on the questions presented by the title, this book is more of a presentation of Yalom’s studies in French romantic literature throughout the ages. I would have loved to dive more into how the French idea of romance influenced their culture or vice versa. While I did enjoy the history and themes that were discussed in this book, it was also quite dry and not easily consumable.

[Yeojin Yoon · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a great introduction to French literature that I wanted to learn. How the love has been described in French novels since middle age til today, its influence, especially from her eyes focusing on women's voice - which was very lacking in most of books. I had a great time learning about great names in French history.