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Nine of Swords, Reversed
Dev has been with xyr service submissive Noam for seven years and xe loves them very much. Dev and Noam have built a good life together in Noam’s family home in Oakland, where they both can practice their magecraft, celebrate the high holidays in comfort, support each other as their disabilities flare, and where Noam can spend Shabbos with their beloved family ghost.
But Dev’s got a problem: xe has been in so much arthritis pain recently that xe has not been able to shield properly. As an empath, no shielding means Dev cannot safely touch Noam. That has put a strain on their relationship, and it feels like Noam is pulling away from xym. To top it off, Dev has just had an upsetting dream-vision about xyrself and Noam that caused one of the biggest meltdowns xe has had in a while. It’s only with a timely tarot reading and the help of another genderfluid mage that Dev is able to unpack the situation. Can xe figure out how to address the issues in xyr relationship with Noam before everything falls apart?
But Dev’s got a problem: xe has been in so much arthritis pain recently that xe has not been able to shield properly. As an empath, no shielding means Dev cannot safely touch Noam. That has put a strain on their relationship, and it feels like Noam is pulling away from xym. To top it off, Dev has just had an upsetting dream-vision about xyrself and Noam that caused one of the biggest meltdowns xe has had in a while. It’s only with a timely tarot reading and the help of another genderfluid mage that Dev is able to unpack the situation. Can xe figure out how to address the issues in xyr relationship with Noam before everything falls apart?
56 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 31, 2018
4 people are currently reading
312 people want to read
About the author
Xan West
48 books368 followersXan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities who spends a lot of time on Twitter.
Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.
Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.
Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.
Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
December 25, 2018
I was fortunate enough to read this in advance (thank you, Xan!) and absolutely loved this story. I adored the vulnerability and nuance to Dev and Noam's D/s relationship and how they both support each other, while also dealing with very differing experiences regarding their disabilities, their identities, and how they navigate talking through these things. This book is yet another one of Xan's stories I appreciate so much for its nuanced fat and disability rep while featuring a cast of genderfluid characters who all identify in slightly different ways. More like this, please!
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December 22, 2018Hi there, this is the author. I wanted to note that you can find content warnings for this book here:
https://xanwest.wordpress.com/nine-of...
https://xanwest.wordpress.com/nine-of...
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January 1, 2019Read for Transcendent 4 consideration, so I can't comment on it at length yet, but I liked it!
Source of the book: Ebook copy from the author
Source of the book: Ebook copy from the author
December 26, 2018
Full review to come, but y'all need to go order this.
May 17, 2020
This was my third Xan West book within the span of a month, and I think it's safe to say I've found a new favourite author. I adore how they create safe spaces within the world of their books. Even if that means, like here, that difficult topics need to be discussed. Because this is, at the same time, the heaviest book I've read by them so far.
Heavy, because there was a fair amount of angst. But mostly because it dealt with a lot of internalized shit: internalized ableism, internalized gender stuff, assumptions about what other people think and want. I loved seeing this play out and getting so many thoughtful, self aware discussions about disability, gender, and the importance of communication in a relationship.
Heavy, because there was a fair amount of angst. But mostly because it dealt with a lot of internalized shit: internalized ableism, internalized gender stuff, assumptions about what other people think and want. I loved seeing this play out and getting so many thoughtful, self aware discussions about disability, gender, and the importance of communication in a relationship.
January 1, 2019
This was the best way to close out the year.
January 2, 2019
I know that I would probably not have picked this book up even six months ago, but I am so glad I gave it a chance. It taught me, as a cis woman, so much about experiences outside of my own, and for that I am grateful. When I first saw that the main characters' relationship involved kink and domination/submission, I will admit to feeling a bit apprehensive. However, as I read, I found yf putting my prejudices aside and simply observing Dev and Noam's interactions, becoming accustomed to their relationship and lifestyle. I found the intimate scenes exquisitely tender and beautiful, and I would love to read more about this couple in the future.
April 26, 2020
I really enjoyed this short story on the importance of communication within a relationship, it also deals with some very heavy topics such as ableism, an abusive ex and toxic masculinity as well as other issues. I couldn't help but love all three characters in this story.
August 10, 2022
Thi novelette offers a great insight into how play might look like when you have disabilites that affect you physically (chronic pain, mobility issues, brain fog) and how to navigate that. I am not at all surprised I enjoyed this aspect of the story the most.
There is this nugget of wisdom West includes about the difference between service and dependance that was phrased beautifully and is a great metaphor for this book.
I don't think this is a fantastic story but as much as I can appreciate the more communal and ritual aspects of religion, I am not as understanding of the more spiritual parts? The novella talks about tarot reading and divination, dream messages and dybbuks which all seem to intersect with their Jewish faith. I've just seen tarot readings and such been misused too much to put my faith into something like that and the novella did not have the space to unpack all of that (which is not necessarily its job but does explain my rating).
There is this nugget of wisdom West includes about the difference between service and dependance that was phrased beautifully and is a great metaphor for this book.
I don't think this is a fantastic story but as much as I can appreciate the more communal and ritual aspects of religion, I am not as understanding of the more spiritual parts? The novella talks about tarot reading and divination, dream messages and dybbuks which all seem to intersect with their Jewish faith. I've just seen tarot readings and such been misused too much to put my faith into something like that and the novella did not have the space to unpack all of that (which is not necessarily its job but does explain my rating).
December 28, 2018
4.5 stars “Nine of Swords, Reversed” is fantastic, and I’ve never read another narrative like it. But this review is going to be spoiler-free, so I have to walk that fine line. It’s like trying to refinish a piece of furniture: you’re in the tension between what the original finish, your budget, and your skills will allow versus your vision of the finished piece. It’s like every recognizable creative act, really.
The element I won’t spoil in “Nine of Swords, Reversed” is also my very favorite part of the story. It’s solid. It’s important. It is the original finish on the piece of furniture you want refinished; it’s the formal requirements of a couplet to a poet, it’s the nature of wolves in Little Red Riding Hood.
This short fiction is about the relationship between Dev and Noam, who live together as dominant and submissive. Everything else in “Nine” changes shades, moves, is negotiable. All three MC’s are genderfluid, so we turn with them as they are boy, girl, Ma’am, Sir, femme, butch, queer, xir, xym, or them on any day. There are old and new relationships too, and those rock between then and now, wobbly and stable. Bodies—and this is key—do their daily activities and they don’t. Main characters Dev and Noam have variable but chronic and worsening pain. Dev’s first-person narrative hummingbirds between daily body care, magic, and richly informed emotional self-care. The change between one day and the next can alter absolutely any and every identifying trait, yet routine holds the household together: the meals, the checking in on each other. The story is entirely clear, yet I felt in constant motion from reading it; it was phenomenal—maybe phenomenological.
And then a thing happens and everything shifts. Highly recommended.
The element I won’t spoil in “Nine of Swords, Reversed” is also my very favorite part of the story. It’s solid. It’s important. It is the original finish on the piece of furniture you want refinished; it’s the formal requirements of a couplet to a poet, it’s the nature of wolves in Little Red Riding Hood.
This short fiction is about the relationship between Dev and Noam, who live together as dominant and submissive. Everything else in “Nine” changes shades, moves, is negotiable. All three MC’s are genderfluid, so we turn with them as they are boy, girl, Ma’am, Sir, femme, butch, queer, xir, xym, or them on any day. There are old and new relationships too, and those rock between then and now, wobbly and stable. Bodies—and this is key—do their daily activities and they don’t. Main characters Dev and Noam have variable but chronic and worsening pain. Dev’s first-person narrative hummingbirds between daily body care, magic, and richly informed emotional self-care. The change between one day and the next can alter absolutely any and every identifying trait, yet routine holds the household together: the meals, the checking in on each other. The story is entirely clear, yet I felt in constant motion from reading it; it was phenomenal—maybe phenomenological.
And then a thing happens and everything shifts. Highly recommended.
January 1, 2019
This novella is such a genuine and honest look at a very tender relationship, and I am glad this is my first book of the year
January 2, 2020
The balm I didn't know I needed for my genderfluid, dominant yet traumatized, chronically in pain self. Even just thinking about the existence of this work is a reassurance and a comfort.
July 2, 2021
ahhh I just need these to be longer! I wanted so much more of Dev and Noam and because this is so short, it almost feels like there's too much going on. Between their relationship dynamics and magic etc, there is a lot happening and you're pretty much just thrown into the middle of it. Had there been another 50 pages even, I would've been able to feel more invested in their story vs a random quick visit. Even so though, I do appreciate this story and the vast amount of representation within these 56 pages. Dev is a genderfluid empath with chronic pain and xe hasn't been able to touch xer submissive, Noam in months because of a nightmare in which xe couldn't reach Noam. This leads to xym talking this out with xyr best friend and trying to unpack all of the things that would help in xyr relationship with Noam. Noam is also genderfluid and has been struggling with their own troubles but hasn't gone to Dev out of worry. There's also a family ghost and a lot of conversation about not limiting oneself and also confronting gender norms and working through toxic ex's.
rep: genderfluid, fat, autistic, chronic pain, disabled, jewish, queer
CW: internalized ableism, internalized gender issues, emotionally abusive exes, chronic pain
rep: genderfluid, fat, autistic, chronic pain, disabled, jewish, queer
CW: internalized ableism, internalized gender issues, emotionally abusive exes, chronic pain
March 22, 2022
I enjoyed this book as a concept. The word choice certainly creates a vivid, mystical, and other-worldly setting in which the characters seem to jump off the page. However, the book feels incomplete. I ends right when you feel a connection to the characters. Its a nice time passer, but I would recommend the author flesh the story out and give us readers more to grapple with. I would not recommend the book.
July 7, 2024
A beautiful, comforting story about communication - highly recommended read!
July 22, 2019
This book introduced some new pronouns to me, which I admit I needed a little bit of time to get used to. It was a little more work than I'm used to keeping track of the characters at times. That being said, I'm glad I read this book; it was very enlightening. Although, as a story, I don't think it gave the readers enough of an arc. Being told solely from Dev's perspective, who is suffering from arthritis flares and spending a lot of time alone, we don't really get a good sense of the relationship between Dev and Noam.
The conversations in the last two chapters are lovely because we see them communicate and understand each other, but I would have liked more interaction between the two characters, or possibly some flashbacks to better establish their bond.
The conversations in the last two chapters are lovely because we see them communicate and understand each other, but I would have liked more interaction between the two characters, or possibly some flashbacks to better establish their bond.
August 26, 2024
"xyr xym xem" PLEASE be joking omfg
March 10, 2023
This was such a wonderful read. It touched me very deep.
This novella shares a situation in which two lovers haven't been communicating well and then follows how they resolve this. What makes this different from other books is that the disability and gender of the main characters plays a big role in this. So many books I've read this isn't the case, and made this book actually relatable to me. Like someone who stresses over walking a stairs instead of so other main characters who never would think on it. And thus the spoon theory is mentioned which is done so wonderfully.
When figuring this out talking to friends or the MC to their partner there was constantly such a good dynamic with people drawing boundaries and others keeping to them. It made me feel so warm and happy to see such things exist. But then also made me realize I probably should make my own friendships like that, instead of constantly hiding my needs and wants. So through the book I felt like I actually had a sort of wake-up call to take better care of myself.
I also absolutely loved the way the MC and xyrs partner shared intimacy in such a sweet amd tender way. It made me feel really good when they were cuddling or touching.
I have reread this a few times now and definitely will keep doing so.
4.5 stars rounded up.
This novella shares a situation in which two lovers haven't been communicating well and then follows how they resolve this. What makes this different from other books is that the disability and gender of the main characters plays a big role in this. So many books I've read this isn't the case, and made this book actually relatable to me. Like someone who stresses over walking a stairs instead of so other main characters who never would think on it. And thus the spoon theory is mentioned which is done so wonderfully.
When figuring this out talking to friends or the MC to their partner there was constantly such a good dynamic with people drawing boundaries and others keeping to them. It made me feel so warm and happy to see such things exist. But then also made me realize I probably should make my own friendships like that, instead of constantly hiding my needs and wants. So through the book I felt like I actually had a sort of wake-up call to take better care of myself.
I also absolutely loved the way the MC and xyrs partner shared intimacy in such a sweet amd tender way. It made me feel really good when they were cuddling or touching.
I have reread this a few times now and definitely will keep doing so.
4.5 stars rounded up.
June 28, 2019
Touching story, and a slow, nuanced unveiling of their different issues bringing the characters closer.However, I kept expecting...something to happen. Levi the ghost to go crazy, either Dev's or Noam's powers to go haywire. Not that I need big dramatic magic to make a satisfying plot, but the summary led me to expect some? Idk.
Maybe it's that, for all that moving out of the house is the turning point (and one with wonderful symbolism at that), I didn't really get a feel for the house? Which makes sense because Dev can only access part of it because of yxr flare-ups. I do appreciate how much care went into the representation (and thank the author for the note on pronouns so I could double-check), and I love the use of metaphors to depict Dev's perception of the world: the bell going off, the colors...can't tell if it's because of xyr autism or xyr magic powers, but the result is great. Noam felt more nebulous to me, which should be expected since they are not a POV character - then again Ezra did (I loved zir! best friend to the rescue!)
The snippet from "Their Troublesome Crush" at the end looks good and is going on my TBR list :)
Maybe it's that, for all that moving out of the house is the turning point (and one with wonderful symbolism at that), I didn't really get a feel for the house? Which makes sense because Dev can only access part of it because of yxr flare-ups. I do appreciate how much care went into the representation (and thank the author for the note on pronouns so I could double-check), and I love the use of metaphors to depict Dev's perception of the world: the bell going off, the colors...can't tell if it's because of xyr autism or xyr magic powers, but the result is great. Noam felt more nebulous to me, which should be expected since they are not a POV character - then again Ezra did (I loved zir! best friend to the rescue!)
The snippet from "Their Troublesome Crush" at the end looks good and is going on my TBR list :)
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March 20, 2025This is pretty well outside my comfort zone, and it gave me some things to think about, so I’m not leaving a star rating. However, I did want to note that this is another story (in the vein of several that I’ve read recently) that challenge a range of typical genre tropes regarding who is deemed deserving of love. I’m not entirely clear if Noam is disabled, but Dev is both autistic and someone who experiences intense arthritis flare-ups. They are both described as fat (this is, incidentally, one of the few physical descriptions we get of either character), and as visibly gender nonconforming. At no point foes either character imply that they like the other “despite” these things. The core relationship is built on mutual attraction, respect, and effective communication. Stories like this are one reason I love indie books so much.
March 25, 2022
I like this book so much. The representation was GOOD and thoughtful and I loved the use of non-gendered pronouns and honorifics. This book was honestly a breath of fresh air. I loved the characters and the humaneness of everyone. The conflict felt so real and the conversations sounded like normal people talking. My only reason for giving it 4 stars and not 5 was I wanted MORE. There’s something about longer books that make you completely engrossed into the characters’ lives that you just don’t get with shorter pieces and I love these characters so much I really want to see them before the story and after. There needs to be more books like this and just as modern and socially aware and representative of real people.
November 19, 2024
3.5 stars 🌟
I'm attempting to log books I've read since 2022 so apologies if I clog your feed!
This was cool but I can't remember what I liked so 🤷♀️. I wish I'd reviewed books as I read them I miss my detailed reviews.
Review written on 19th November, 2024.
DISCLAIMER-All opinions on books I’ve read and reviewed are my own, and are with no intention to offend anyone. If you feel offended by my reviews, let me know how I can fix it.
How I Rate-
1 star- Hardly liked anything/was disappointed
2 star- Had potential but did not deliver/was disappointed
3 stars- Was ok but could have been better/was average/Enjoyed a lot but something was missing
4 stars- Loved a lot but something was missing
5 stars- Loved it/new favourite
I'm attempting to log books I've read since 2022 so apologies if I clog your feed!
This was cool but I can't remember what I liked so 🤷♀️. I wish I'd reviewed books as I read them I miss my detailed reviews.
Review written on 19th November, 2024.
DISCLAIMER-All opinions on books I’ve read and reviewed are my own, and are with no intention to offend anyone. If you feel offended by my reviews, let me know how I can fix it.
How I Rate-
1 star- Hardly liked anything/was disappointed
2 star- Had potential but did not deliver/was disappointed
3 stars- Was ok but could have been better/was average/Enjoyed a lot but something was missing
4 stars- Loved a lot but something was missing
5 stars- Loved it/new favourite
October 5, 2025
So. This is the third Xan West novella I have read, and I continue to be unimpressed.
The way the characters talk could not be more unnatural. Names are used in conversations way too much, no one needs to constantly say their best friend's name, like they might have somehow forgotten it. It also falls into the therapy speak trap. The author is so set on presenting healthy communication that it reads like an RUOK day script.
The "dream-vision" (?) is never explained, the ghost (??) is never explained and "shielding" for "empaths" is never explained. What does any of this mean??
I was put off by the use of internet slang in the prose, it felt clunky and like the author doesn't know how to write in an appropriately formal manner. An example is "cook all the things."
One last thing to mention was the poor word choice in some sentences. For example "the big bell came inside me." Could West really not come up with a better way to say that??
The way the characters talk could not be more unnatural. Names are used in conversations way too much, no one needs to constantly say their best friend's name, like they might have somehow forgotten it. It also falls into the therapy speak trap. The author is so set on presenting healthy communication that it reads like an RUOK day script.
The "dream-vision" (?) is never explained, the ghost (??) is never explained and "shielding" for "empaths" is never explained. What does any of this mean??
I was put off by the use of internet slang in the prose, it felt clunky and like the author doesn't know how to write in an appropriately formal manner. An example is "cook all the things."
One last thing to mention was the poor word choice in some sentences. For example "the big bell came inside me." Could West really not come up with a better way to say that??
January 3, 2019
Lovely queer story. Now, I’m queer myself but this takes place mostly out of my personal experience. I can’t comment on these aspects too much because they simply are not my lane.
Anyway. It’s a story of hurt and trust and the importance of proper communication. Not always easy but crucial. Solves problems before they can crop up.
Detailed content warnings help you decide whether or not this story is for you. Be aware that potentially upsetting things are mentioned or described.
Other than that I enjoyed how magic was handled. It feels right, for lack of a better term. Well done.
I don’t think I want to go into too much detail as it is a fairly short read. Go pick it up.
Anyway. It’s a story of hurt and trust and the importance of proper communication. Not always easy but crucial. Solves problems before they can crop up.
Detailed content warnings help you decide whether or not this story is for you. Be aware that potentially upsetting things are mentioned or described.
Other than that I enjoyed how magic was handled. It feels right, for lack of a better term. Well done.
I don’t think I want to go into too much detail as it is a fairly short read. Go pick it up.
September 6, 2024
This is a really refreshing story about communication and a great take on romance that I haven't seen before - nothing graphic, this is truly about the relationships. It's so rare to see direct, genuine communication modeled in the books I read. I've never read something quite like this before and I loved it. I'm neither enby nor into kink, but I really enjoyed the perspective and have a better understanding for it. I'd love to read more like this! If you're unsure, give it a try with an open heart and mind, it's short and sweet and you won't regret it.
March 13, 2019
This was such a sweet and engaging book. I loved the compassion and sensitivity with which the various topics were handled and this is the first time I've actually felt seen an heard so much reading a book. I so, so, so hope there are more planned, maybe a series. This is a really important book, I was crying by the end, and I don't want to spoil anything, but the author really handled the character development and the progression of their relationship well.
January 4, 2019
This is a beautiful urban fantasy romance. If you're Jewish, queer, or interested in leather or D/s culture, you should like this.
I was touched by the representation in this story, and the magic, religion, and treatment of genderfluid characters resonated with me.
I'll definitely be following Xan's works in the future!
I was touched by the representation in this story, and the magic, religion, and treatment of genderfluid characters resonated with me.
I'll definitely be following Xan's works in the future!
April 17, 2025
A short and sweet D/s romance that's really about two people trying to hide their pain from each other and doing more harm than good in the process. I liked it, but I think it could have been a bit longer and done less telling and more showing. It is a short story, but it probably could have used a bit more space to really flesh out the characters.
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July 9, 2021
Trigger & Content Warnings
Ableism & itnernalised ableism
Transmisia
Misogyny
Emotionally abusive relationship recounted
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & trauma
Depression
Death of a brother recounted
Ableism & itnernalised ableism
Transmisia
Misogyny
Emotionally abusive relationship recounted
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & trauma
Depression
Death of a brother recounted
January 19, 2024
Either this guy uses AI or he's possessed by demons because there's no way a normal human being could possibly come up with a more shameful, degenerate, disgusting, sin-filled, gross, depraved piece of filth.
Talmudic levels of abysmal vileness which, after reading the author bio, checks out.
Talmudic levels of abysmal vileness which, after reading the author bio, checks out.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews