Asperger's and Adulthood

by Blythe Grossberg, Nancy Linari (Reading)

From the best-selling author of Asperger's Rules! and Asperger's Teens comes Asperger's and Adulthood. Blythe Grossberg brings more than 15 years experience working with Asperger's patients to deliver this definitive guide for adults living with Asperger's syndrome. 

Thinking about moving out on your own? Ready to land your first job? Unsure how to navigate social scenes when you have Asperger's? Designed for the newly launched Aspie adult, Asperger's and Adulthood provides supportive solutions-based strategies for navigating the ins and outs of balancing Asperger's syndrome with career goals, dating, social settings, and more.

Adulthood is complicated for anyone, though it can be especially overwhelming for someone living with Asperger's. Thankfully, Asperger's and Adulthood presents targeted strategies from learning specialist Blythe Grossberg to help young adults with Asperger's kick-start careers, cultivate healthy relationships, and create independent paths as maturing adults. Grossberg lends her expertise by providing an Asperger's road map - pointing out potential obstacles and offering valuable how-tos for thriving in the world.

This book also helps loved ones gain a deeper understanding of what it means to live with Asperger's syndrome. Whether you're listening for yourself or someone you know, Asperger's and Adulthood helps you develop deeper insight for tackling life challenges, with:


Step-by-step strategies for entering the workforce and tips to translate your talents into a career
Helpful scripts for managing small talk, job interviews, and first dates
Practical tips and budgeting checklists for establishing your independence
Real-life Asperger's stories on finding friends and landing jobs
Handy how-tos about stimming, and how to adopt more discreet comforting behaviors 
The truth is, even with Asperger's, you can do whatever you put your mind to - and Asperger's and Adulthood outlines the tools and strategies to help you achieve a full and rewarding adult life.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Mental Health, Aspergers, Audiobook

MP3 CD

First published September 22, 2015

Reviews

[John Ronald · Rating 2 out of 5]

As an ASD adult of 48, first diagnosed at age 39, I am clearly not the intended audience for this book. I tried respectfully listening to the audiobook but found myself pressing the "off" button on my car's audio system to talk back at the book's generalizations and "advice". The book is best read by older teens and college students preparing to enter adult life. It does offer some good advice, but having clawed my way to middle age on my own, I can't help but take a jaundiced view at some of it. The author discusses workplace bullying and practical steps one can do to assert oneself and establish boundaries. All well and good--but the scenarios outlined by the author assume the bully is a peer in a large organization. She doesn't ponder the possibility that one's BOSS is the bully. She might blithely suggest the ASD person quit that job in that instance but sometimes that's not always a feasible solution. In my own life it was a painful struggle where I simply OUTLASTED my tormentor boss who eventually succumbed to her own hubris crossing swords with her superiors. There was no "winning", just surviving. Time and again, because I'm not the intended audience, the book just came across as utterly patronizing to an infuriating degree. Moreover, the author gives a brief favorable aside mentioning Autism Speaks (yuck) with no disclaimer or acknowledgement of the highly problematic nature of A$, widely loathed by actual ASD people for good reason. I appreciate neurotypical therapists and medical professionals trying to help us, I do. But really we need more of our own neurodiverse community to enter these professions ourselves and add our own genuine voices to the conversation. This book is well intentioned but for me profoundly disappointing.

[Mandy Stigant · Rating 2 out of 5]

In an admittedly casual search of Uncle Internet, I haven’t run across any indication that Grossberg is herself neurodivergent. But I’m guessing she isn’t based on how she writes about it, and also because neurodivergent writers writing about neurodivergence tend to be open about their own, by way of a credential. There’s a reason for that. It’s not that the neurotypical experts I’ve tried to read are *wrong* about us, so much as they are lacking something so fundamentally experiential that the things they have to say about us are actually pretty irrelevant and not terribly useful. To borrow heavily from Barnett Newman, it’s like being a bird and someone hands you a book on ornithology.

She is respectful: at least she doesn’t see us as problems to fix or cure. She probably is a good voice for reaching NT parents and friends of ND folks. But this book, along with a few others I’ve picked up, have taught me that I need to spend my time and energy exploring my own autism with actual autistic authors, whether they are “experts” or not. We understand each other best, and that’s all there is to it.

[Jason Bailey · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a good book with a lot of helpfil tips. It is VERY practical.

While this book is very helpful, the tone can be somewhat distracting at times. It is very respectful, it is also very conversational and practical. Still, it is great to finally find a book that is targeted towards aspie adults instead of children or parents.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title isnt exactly clear but this book is intended for teens to young adults.

It is largely about getting your first job, first relationship, moving out of your parents’, etc. It would have been immensely helpful to me a decade ago, to avoid a decade of struggle to figure these things out myself. There were still some good reminders, and confirmations of intuitions I had that I wasnt totally confident on, but overall probably wont be that useful to those over age 25.

Personally, I’d recommend the author adding a preface to future additions about who the intended audience is, to avoid the onslaught of us autistic nitpickers screeching about its lack of practical applicability ;)

[Joseph Sciuto · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had heard about the Asperger's Syndrome and knew a little something about it, but nothing I would call definite. Then, a young lady on Goodreads suggested I read a book by Rudy Simone titled, "22 Things a Woman with Asperger's Syndrome Wants her Partner to Know." After reading the book which I thought was fabulously written, I got a much clearer picture of what a person with the Asperger's syndrome is like, the difficulties the syndrome causes for people who suffer from it, especially in social situations, but more amazingly the level of intense concentration and creativity that so many people with Asperger's Syndrome possess.

Suddenly, I was looking back on some of the most creative people I have had the privilege to be acquainted with and quite a few seem to possess many of the characteristics described in the book. One girl in particular was so caught up in her painting that nothing else in the world seemed to matter. Many of my friends thought she was just rude and stuck up, but I used to think to myself that if I had that ability to concentrate and be so focused on my work I would be so further along in my career. She was a pretty girl who at times desperately needed to wash her hair and all I ever saw her eat was plain pasta with butter. 


Many people with characteristics of  Asperger's Syndrome have been some of the most creative and innovative individuals the world has ever known, and without their expertise it is quite likely the world would be a much different place and advances in technology, medicine, film, and engineering would be nowhere close to where it is presently at.


Yet, many of the people with Asperger's Syndrome have difficulty socializing, dating, becoming fully independent, and being able to read between the lines of what a colleague might be saying to them. Blythe Grossberg's "Asperger's and Adulthood: A guide to working, loving, and living with Asperger's Syndrome" is a wonderful guide and self-help book that helps those individuals with the syndrome to better integrate and live a fuller life. The book is really written for people with the syndrome, but as someone not living with the syndrome it greatly increased my understanding of this fascinating gift and some of the difficulties it presents.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book is a great outline for adults with aspergers. I think this book can get the "ball rolling" and give some ideas to adults with specific concerns or issues but does not give enough scenarios,scripts or strategies to problem solve. I love the sections, think the topics are clear, but feel like there needs to be more "meat" to this book to truly help adults with aspergers.

[Nauplius]

One aspect that I found quite weird was the claim that in you live with a roommate and don't want them to use/take your stuff (things like your computer (!)) or care for your pets (even exotic pets like snakes) you have to explicitly tell them this before moving in.
The text implied that these behaviours (taking stuff without asking, feeding an animal that is not yours) are ok and normal behaviours that neurotypicals would tolerate, but I disagree strongly. Most people, autistic or not find it very rude if you use their personal computer or care for their pet without asking. Sorry, but in that case it is the roommate who is acting weird and abnormal.

[Fernanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m not sure who is the intended audience for this. It says Asperger’s on the title but most of the book is a very shallow and introductory start to the topics. I was hoping to see, for instance, more about how to maintain healthy relationships and take care of yourself and your partner while on the spectrum. What I got was a very basic of “what does it mean when a date touches your arm?”-kind of rhetoric. This might be helpful for some people, but I found most it very surface level and not particularly helpful. It was interesting at points I guess, but mostly just not useful to me.

[Amelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more for the aspie in high school then someone who is already an adult and out in the work force. Some good tips for interviews and dealing with conversations but not what I was really looking for.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I definitely found some parts of this book helpful, other parts of it felt very patronizing and/or disconnected from the reality of actually being neurodiverse.

[Jonathan Kasko · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of useful to start advice if assimilation is your goal, and if you can stand the patronizing tone.

[Lonnie Pacelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightfulness: 4 Stars | Creativity: 5 Stars | Well Written: 5 Stars | Page Turner: 5 Stars

Summary:
Provides supportive solutions-based strategies for navigating the ins and outs of balancing high-functioning autism (HFA) or Asperger’s with independent living, careers, socialization and romance.

Is it insightful? 4 Stars
Author provides good insight into how someone with HFA typically thinks and behaves, and how their thoughts and actions are strengths or barriers to successful living. Topics and examples are easily relatable for someone with HFA or for someone who has a loved one with HFA.

Is it creative? 5 Stars
Very good stories which underscore each life skills topic establish a good rapport with the reader. Book uses shaded comment boxes to highlight key points the author wishes to convey. Great use of frequently asked questions at end of book.

Is the well written? 5 Stars
Read in about 90 minutes. The author’s writing style is very direct and uses simple, effective language. There’s strong focus on applications that the reader can take away to immediately work on. Very kindle-friendly, with chapters and external references hyperlinked. Only minor ding is chapters don’t hyperlink back to table of contents.

Is it a page turner? 5 Stars
The author has a very conversational writing style that feels just as if she is sitting down with the reader over a cup of coffee providing insight and advice. The author’s writing voice coupled with her sage advice makes for an easy, enjoyable, and informative read.

Overall Rating: 5 Stars

[Jean-marie Prevost · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book will be great to the right person at the right moment in their life. Otherwise, it's nearly entirely useless.

The focus appears to be on teens and younger adults who have yet to start their adult life, which is not what I expected judging by the title of the book. It is not for older adults.

The contents lean HEAVILY on the "adapt to the world" side of things, you be the judge of whether this is a good thing or not. A bit stressful and depressing to read at times, but also ideas that needs to be heard.

It covers subjects such as getting and keeping a job, finding a place to live, living on your own as an adult, finding a romantic partner, making and keeping friends and things like that. The advice is very prescriptive (i.e. "You need to do this and that...") and generic. For example, I,m not reading a book on asperger's to learn that I have to cook if I want to live by myself, or that I cannot wear a worn-out comfortable hoodie to a job interview.

On the plus side, the tone and the prescriptive nature of the content are well-suited to the autistic mind. Being told "you have to present yourself well" would be to vague to be of any use to many, whereas "wear this, say this, do that, interpret this gesture in this way..." is at least unambiguous.

To me, this was a waste of time, but to the right audience it can probably be helpful.

[Adrian · Rating 3 out of 5]

For starters, trigger warning, it does briefly mention a reference from Autism Speaks, though it doesn't go further into this organisation or advocate further for them. I'll leave it to others to explain the problems there (google it, if you don't know already) but it doesn't seem to weigh the book down further, and it may have been an innocent mistake.

Well, um, this seems pretty simple, but perhaps to someone actually suffering having it laid out like this could be quite useful. It's hard to say exactly, particularly as you may not agree with the terminology, or some of the recommendations, but the book does go out of its way to explain that it is just one way of accomplishing things, and what goal you are aiming for (and some useful places to seek help).

However, I can't explicitly recommend this unless you know that you need it, and I can't know that you need it without pointing in its direction. It's very much a dilemma. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt with 3 stars, but it does sail on the easy to read nature, even with the simplistic way it approaches the topics in hand. Don't expect anything miraculous from this though.

[Jenny T · Rating 1 out of 5]

Patronizing.

Information is more suitable for neurotypical teens than neurodivergent adults.

Encourages masking.

Toxic positivity and assumptions - generic platitudes, assuming Aspies value and want the same things as neurotypicals.

Insensitivity- author speaks in idioms, makes it seem like everyone can achieve anything they want. Untrustworthy.

Author is clearly not an Aspie herself because she makes everything seem like not that big of a deal and keeps saying "practice makes perfect." Does she not realize that one of the hallmarks of autism is that we tend not to generalize from one situation to another?

We don't need a few little adjustments to start acting "normal."

If I were a teen reading this, I would feel misunderstood, pressured, shamed, and talked down to.

There are so many better books by actual others on the spectrum. Read them to feel validated and to get real, practical advice that applies to our actual needs and wants.

[Lorena Garcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a diagnosed Aspie (although I have suspected I might be for quite some time now), but this book is a short manual on how to behave and be a functioning adult. If you are an Aspie or a person related to or friends with one this will help you understand a lot of things; however, I do see some possibilities of an Aspie taking everything too literal and having fun confusing interactions following the suggestions of this book if they don't have a basic understanding of social cues and body language. I had fun reading this. What is left for me? I should talk to a professional to see if I'm really a person on the spectrum or if it's just my uncontrolled anxiety that has been ruining my life since I have memory.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Autism and Adulting 101

This book a must have for teens, young adults, and adults with Aspergers. All too often, many people find themselves stuck after they graduate from high school, move on from college, or start their first job. They completed their childhood, now what? Life for those with autism can be even more chaotic to navigate. Grossberg explains essential stages of young adult life in a practical simple way that is easy to understand. The author uses separate lists and sections throughout the chapters to add more tips on how to better fit into society. It is essential that individuals of all mentalities feel prepared for the inevitable changes in their lives.

[Jodez · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is not aimed for adults with autism, but young people moving into adulthood. It's very US centric, so I wouldn't recommend it for that reason alone because the 'advice' just isn't relevant for those of us outside of the US.
This book claims that those with 'high functioning' ASD are highly intelligent, then proceeds to infantalise the intended audience.
It generalises a lot of information, relies heavily on stereotypes, and reinforces masking with advice such as 'don't stim'', 'be good at small talk' or 'push yourself to be social and find a romantic relationship'. None of which is great advice.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a case of my not doing enough research before purchasing a book. I was looking for a book on Asberger's in adults, not a book for people with Asberger's and how to handle adulthood. But honestly it was a quick read, I did learn about Asberger's and the book has a few helpful hints for neurotypicals who also find themselves confused by socialization.

[Hector Lira · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Rules of Thumb

Good guide its not intended as a exhaustive detailed list.
Wish there was more details on some items but overall it was very good at providing good rules of thumb.

[Beth Baxter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Basic and repetitive

This may be best suited for someone younger whom was diagnosed at a younger age....someone maybe late teens. There is plenty of information that fits into several categories but it's broken down to the point of being very repetitive with the message.

[Amelia Blackwater · Rating 2 out of 5]

As someone who is an adult (who is newly diagnosed) on the spectrum I was just expecting something more. However, I could see how this could be helpful for someone who is a young adult on the spectrum.

[Wendy D. Hobson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for teenagers trying to deal with aspergers

Bought both the physical book for my 20 year old and the kindle version for me, we are both on the spectrum. Son loved it and even I learned something's at the age of 55 that I wish I would have learned at his age.

[Eliza Elowen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It has surface-level practical information for someone with Autism transitioning into adult life. However, some of the information does encourage masking and hiding your true self instead of embracing your Autism. It also doesn't cover how to get workplace accommodations in detail.

[Shuying · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. Belittling and telling people with ASD to hide their needs and disability. The instructions are essentially "mask more and don't cause anyone trouble." It also takes a very insulting view of how functional the author believes people with ASD are. I would not recommend this book to anyone.

[Katherine C. Hirstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

[Michelle Langlois · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank u

Very informative !thank u for taking time to write this. Very helpful. I'll carry the words with me. Helpful informative

[Tia · Rating 3 out of 5]

teens and young adults

good book for young adults and teens with ASD. some helpful suggestions. clear writing and layout facilitate the purpose of the book

[Debra Adderley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read

Interesting book. Good over view of Asperger's. Recommend to anyone wanting to learn more about this condition and understanding Aspies