Relationship, Responsibility, and Regulation: Trauma-Invested Practices for Fostering Resilient Learners

by Kristin Van Marter Souers, Pete Hall

An ASCD Bestseller! In this stirring follow-up to the award-winning Fostering Resilient Learners, Kristin Van Marter Souers and Pete Hall take you to the next level of trauma-invested practice. To get there, they explain, educators need to build a ""nest""—a positive learning environment shaped by three new R s of relationship, responsibility, and regulation. Drawing from their extensive experience working with schools, students, and families throughout the country, the authors

Genres: Education, Nonfiction, Teaching, School, Professional Development, Psychology, Social Work

206 pages, Paperback

Published December 12, 2018

Reviews

[Janine Darragh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was hoping for a few more strategies instead of scenarios, but easy to read and understand. Added bonus- such a lovely cover!

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I appreciated the real world examples for elementary, MS & HS. Additionally, ideas for interventions were also given. So many times books preach, but never give concrete examples/ideas to implement. Good read.

[Kristen]

What a perfect book to read right before I start my school year. 🩷
It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes.

“Our job is to teach the students we have. Not the ones we would like to have. Not the ones
we used to have. Those we have right
now. All of them.” 🥰

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book to use to teach others about trauma and supporting all students

[Brooklyn Wingert · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good reminder of how our educational world has changed and tangible things we as educators can do to help. I liked the shift from the former 3 rs (reading, 'riting and 'rithmatic to the new ones: relationship, responsibility, and regulation.

[J.R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author creates a dialogue inviting the entire school community to start the process of becoming more aware of our own biases while also diving into how to create classroom environments conducive to not just those who’ve experienced trauma, but all students, and one not just conducive to learning, but for growth. The strategies Hall and Sauers suggest are succinct and they are aware that they are not a one-size-fits-all solution; but, instead, through the 3 R’s — relationships, responsibility and regulation — the authors establish a framework under which we may encourage our young people to accept failure, persevere, and become more self-reliant. The more community members that buy into these ideas and develop a shared language, the better off all of us — students and parents, teachers and administrators, and therefore the entire community — will be.

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book alongside some other educators as a summer bookclub. It was so refreshing to read of strategies, many that I’ve used, and many that I wish I had considered in the moment. I think this is a must-read for every educator. Most of our student needs come down to being a relational, responsibility, or regulation deficit. What if we prioritized those concepts and helped out students find success by more explicitly and intentionally teaching them the tools for success?

This book is great. Read it!!

[Angelica Shriver · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was so very happy to have had this book enter my workplace. The entire school corporation was doing this book study. I have learned a lot from this book, and very important strategies I can use with myself, the students, coworkers, and even in my home life. However, I did give it 4 stars because I am not a teacher and wished there were more strategies for an Instructional Assistant (paraprofessional) to use with students, as I move around from class to class to help other students. Some of the teacher strategies I have found that I am able to use at home with my own children. Not because they have trauma, but because there is some really amazing strategies in this book that I found to be useful with my children, and when that temper tantrum arrives, all while being able to stay calm and collected instead of stressing out and becoming, as the book says, a “tough nugget” myself.

[Catherine Rodriguez · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 / 5

I most appreciate that this book makes a point to give you perspective from multiple stakeholders in a given situation. For instance, when we get a glimpse into the case studies, there's language for considering POV of the student, student's parents, the teacher, other support staff at the school, and the school's leadership (such as the principal). The three R's aren't just between a student and their teacher; when it comes to creating a safe learning environment, there's a deeper reach that needs to happen because we have to take the more holistic approach.

[Beth Osborne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the learning from this book. It really has me think beyond the surface to why a student responds a certain way and to ensure I’m responding with a productive systems of meaning.

When incorporating self-regulation strategies this quote resonated with me “when you start to incorporate regulation strategies and tools into your settings, do not attempt anything that will send YOU to your downstairs brain.” We can’t be our best teaching selves if we are incorporating strategies that place us in a negative frame of mind .

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much like its precursor, this book is approachable and digestible while at the same time imparting key points about bringing practices to schools to counter the effects of trauma. There is a certain amount of "cheerleading" and persuading that shows up in the chapters, but there is also a core message that is tightly woven into the whole book. This is a good partner to Fostering Resilient Learners as it both echoes many of the themes as well as builds on them.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a good start If someone hasn’t read on the topic before. But you can skip it if you have spent time in this area. It splits the difference too much between too many strategies (trying to talk about all of k-12) while also not delving too far into systematic problems in education. So, again, it’s a good first source for someone new, but not the depth on any topic for someone with experience. Maybe good to excerpt for some basic PD as a new source.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

While it took me a while to fully read this, I do think it is a great companion to Fostering Resilient Learners and it would be interesting to use both of them for a professional learning class for staff. I really connected with the idea of the new 3 R’s - relationship, responsibility and regulation. I appreciated the lengthy discussion on several scenarios as well.

[Chuck Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books that will make you recall every kid you ever struggled to reach and wish you'd had these ideas at your disposal when you needed them for that kid.

Ideological foundation AND practical tips made this book both super informative AND useful.

Just what I needed to go back to school after winter break. 👨🏼‍🏫

[Sarah Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and appreciated the commentary and real-life scenarios. It is evident that the authors care deeply about children, teachers, and schools. I was hoping to gain more strategies from this book. The case studies and anecdotes are nice but I did not gain specific ideas and strategies to implement in my classroom.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid. My hunch is a lot of reflective practitioners knew a lot of this already, but need to be reminded again. Nothing revolutionary in here, but it's pretty solid. Feels slightly padded at times and, like many education philosophy books, I think sometimes it comes across as Messianic and doesn't show the times when the strategies *didn't* work. But those are slight issues. Very glad I read it.

[Hillary Chapman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read as a leadership book as I try and change/improve my career. This was lots of repeat information but always good to hear. But, what I loved most is when working alongside elementary, middle or high school aged students - the author looked at it from all the stakeholders lenses and to include all in the success of the student in question. A must read for any principal!

[Kristin Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best book I've read for PD in a few years. It helped me think about different kinds of trauma and creating a culture of safety, built self-awareness about my systems of meaning, and taught me things about the downstairs vs. upstairs brain. If I'm smart, I'll go back every year and read all the parts I've highlighted.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great follow-up to Fostering Resilient Learners. I would recommend this book to administrators in particular, especially as they begin to think about creative interventions for their most challenging cases.

[Danielle Wood · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book did a good job talking about relationship, responsibility, and regulation in the classroom. It wasn’t too long of a book and it made a lot of great points. As a specialist teacher, I see every child in my school. I learned some things I’d like to use.

[Randy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this book for a graduate class. While the ideas are great sounding, I can’t imagine an urban school setting implementing this successfully to the degree the book mentions. Over all recommended for new clinicians, bcbas, etc to give some ideals on trauma and tiered interventions.

[Megan Herold · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was less to believe this was for homeschoolers but it turned out to be a book about teachers relationships with students and felt more like a power struggle than relationship building. Even from a public teacher standpoint I can’t see much benefits to this read.

[Cassie Mabry · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for any educator. Discusses the 3 Rs- Relationship, Responsibility, and Regulation- how to identify when a student needs an intervention in this area, actual real world scenarios, and Tier 1,2,3 interventions.

[Amy Mckinty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book will help inform my teaching next year. It is rooted in science and helps explain how the brain works in relation to learning, relationships, and emotions. There were helpful examples and advice for all the players in a child's academic life including school leaders.

[Pam Bierbaum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every teacher needs to read!!! It discusses 4 main reasons kids 'act out' or are not OK...then it tells you why, AND indentifies the interventions that are scientifically successful!! A classroom MUST!!

[Lindsey Sheehan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book! It definitely helped reframe some thoughts. I liked the scenarios given and the different perspectives to think from; however, I wish that there were some more strategies given. Overall, I enjoyed this book and it was super helpful!

[Jenna Idenward · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read for a professional development course. One of the more readable teaching texts I've encountered. I found the perspective-taking exercises particularly useful, and I do think it will make me a more empathetic educator with all stakeholders.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read for educators. It gave me some great strategies and insight for working with kids from poverty and on-going trauma.

[Annie Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the sequel to Fostering Resilient Learners and a MUST READ for all teachers and educators!!! I learned so much from this book!

[Marcie Marzullo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent ideas and practical solutions to support students and teachers.