To Pray as a Jew: A Guide to the Prayer Book and the Synagogue Service

by Hayim Halevy Donin

"Why do Jews pray? What is the role of prayer in their lives as moral and ethical beings? From the simplest details of how to comport oneself on entering a synagogue to the most profound and moving comments on the prayers themselves, Rabbi Hayim Halevy Donin guides readers of To Pray as a Jew through the entire prescribed course of Jewish liturgy, passage by passage, ritual by ritual, in this handsome and indispensable guide to Jewish prayer. Unexcelled for beginners as well as the religiously observant, To Pray as a Jew is intended to show the way, to enlighten, and hopefully to inspire."--

Genres: Judaism, Jewish, Religion, Judaica, Nonfiction, Prayer, Faith

447 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 10, 1991

Reviews

[Lewis Weinstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judaism plays a major part in most of my novels, and surely in A FLOOD OF EVIL and the sequel I am currently writing. I have reached a point where an understanding of Jewish prayer has become important both for my Jewish character Anna Gorska and for the Catholic character Berthold Becker, as they struggle against the enclosing evil of Hitler's persecution of the Jews.

I am going to try to express their pursuit of a connection with God through three of the prayers in the Shemoneh Esrei.

Here are extracts from Donin's marvelous book on the Shemoneh Esrai and those three prayers ...

... The Shemoneh Esrei is the heart of every Jewish service … it is recited at each of the three daily prayer services … composed in the 5th c BCE by 120 men of the Great Assembly … Almost every phrase has its source in the Bible ... when saying the Shemoneh Esrei a Jew addresses God directly

... Shemoneh Esrei … 4th prayer - knowledge ... "Thou grantest knowledge to man, and teachest understanding to humans; from thine own self, favor us with knowledge, understanding, and sense. Blessed art Thou, Lord, giver of knowledge." … the sages say: if there is no understanding, how can there be prayer? true piety, the kind not based on superstition, presupposes an understanding of the nature of the world and a knowledge of what God requires of us ... the giving of knowledge and wisdom to man is an act of Divine grace, for by doing so God graciously shares with man one of His own Divine qualities

Shemoneh Esrei … 5th prayer - repentance ... "Return us, our Father, to thy Torah, and draw us closer, our King, to Thy worship. And bring us back before Thee in complete repentance. Blessed art Thou, Lord, who desires repentance." … this prayer expresses the Jewish belief that God is not anxious to punish ... Judaism seeks the rehabilitation of those who violate God's law

Shemoneh Esrei … 6th prayer - forgiveness ... "Forgive us, our Father, for we have sinned. Pardon us, our King, for we have transgressed, for Thou art a pardoner and forgiver. Blessed art Thous, Lord, Gracious One who forgives abundantly … God sets no limit to His pardoning grace. One should therefore never despair about earning Divine forgiveness.

[Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was written with respect to Orthodox Judaism; if you attend a Reform synagogue like mine there will be differences, obviously. As I’ve begun in the last number of months saying the daily weekday prayers however I feel like I’ve learned more about the traditional prayers, gotten closer to them, experienced their richness. Even if this was not the case however it seems very worthwhile to more deeply understand the tradition and this book gives it to you - how the many different prayers involved came to be, the contexts of their inclusions, how they relate to one another, etc. With a deeper understanding of tradition we can better adapt it to our own contemporary contexts. The book covers both communal prayers and prayers said at home.

Below is just my notes…
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Jewish prayer, based as it is on the assumption that the human soul is basically good and possesses the capacity to improve itself, is essentially a reflection of Jewish ethics. This is what accounts for the optimistic and hopeful tone of Jewish prayer. Our prayers may relate to many troubles, but except for the kinot of Tisha b’Av, they are not sad or somber. The Torah and Talmud study passages that were selected for the morning preliminary prayers are passages that dwell on highly specific ethical obligations. Charity, honoring parents, deeds of loving kindness, hospitality, visiting the sick… one is daily reminded of these duties before going on to the prayers that dwell on man’s relationship to his Creator.
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The Hebrew word for “to pray”, l’hitpalel, does not mean “to ask” or “to petition” God. It is derived from a stem, pll, that is closest in meaning to the last of these four types of prayer. It means to judge; therefore l’hitpalel could be translated as “to judge oneself.” Here lies a clue to the real purpose for engaging in prayer. Whether we petition God to give us what we need, or thank Him for whatever good was granted, or extol Him for His awesome attributes, all prayer is intended to help make us into better human beings.
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Sometime during the early 13th century, Aleinu also became the closing prayer of each daily service throughout the year. The choice may have been inspired by the fact that during the 12th century persecutions in France and elsewhere, Aleinu had become - in addition to the Shema - the dying song chanted by many Jewish martyrs.
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B’rakhot HaShacher: ‘Who crowns Israel with glory’ was associated with putting on one’s head covering as a sign of respect for God. The blessing may also be an allusion to the tefillin. This and ‘Who girds Israel with strength’, associated with putting on a waist belt, in addition to evoking spiritual associations, also contributed to the morale of a people who daily struggled against those who would destroy them.
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According to the rite followed by Sephardim and many Hasidim, Psalm 20 is considered to be an extension of Tachanun and is therefore omitted whenever Tachanun is omitted. But Ashkenazim regard Psalm 20 as a preface to U'va L'tziyon. Since one theory accounting for the introduction of U'va L'tziyon into the service relates it to times of persecution, Psalm 20 was chosen to precede it because it takes note of troublesome times while also brings a message of hope. According to this view, Psalm 20 should be said even on those days when Tachanun is omitted, except major festive days.
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The opening words of the first morning Shema blessing have their source in Isaiah 45:7, “Who fashions light and creates darkness, who makes peace and who creates evil, I am the Lord who does all this.” In the composition of the blessing, the biblical words “who creates evil” (u’vorei ra) were changed to “who creates all things” (u’vorei et hakol). When some Talmudic sages questioned the change, others responded that the authors of the blessing preferred to use a more elegant and felicitous phrase (lishna ma’alya), and to avoid the use of the word evil. Besides, they answered, “all things” includes evil. (🤔)

To ascribe to God who is all-good the creation of evil is at first a most disturbing concept. For what purpose would God wish to permit evil? The answer is to give a person the freedom to choose between good and evil. It is by choosing to worship God, to willingly follow in His ways, that man brings to God the most precious of offerings - his own self. …

By acknowledging “the daily renewal of creation” we affirm God’s continued role in the creation, an ongoing process in which God’s creative role is maintained.
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The slight variation in wording of the second Shema blessing for the morning and evening prayers stems from the two versions that existed among the sages of the Talmud. Samuel preferred “Ahava Rabbah” (great love) but the majority of the rabbis were in favor of “Ahavat Olam” (eternal love). The Sephardic rite actually uses Ahavat Olam both morning and evening.
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We ascribe holiness to God so often, and accept it as so self-evident, that holy has become synonymous with God. But we give little thought to what “holy” really means. Jewish tradition interprets “holy” as meaning “separated from,” but in a way that implies a higher spiritual level... To be holy, then, means to be separated, but only from that which is vulgar and profane in life, from that which the Torah forbids, and not from the full range of human and community life.

God’s holiness is not, however, in the same class as that of man’s. God may have said to Israel: “You shall be holy, for I am holy,” but no real equation can be made… unlike man’s holiness, Divine holiness is not a function of behavior, for it is inherent in the very nature of His being. It tells us not what God does, but what God is!

Onkelos interprets the thrice-holy proclamation in Isaiah 6:3 “Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh!” to mean that God is holy in the heavens, on earth, and in time. The commentary by the Malbim explains how:
- God is separated from the earth in that He is not made of matter.
- He is separated from time in that He is eternal. He has no beginning, no end.
- He is separated from the heavens in that He has no form.
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They considered Psalm 145 superior for P’sukei d’Zimra, according to the Gaon of Vilna, because it emphasizes that God provides sustenance for all living creatures, whereas Psalms 34 and 111 mention only “those who seek God” or “who revere Him” as the beneficiaries of His goodness. …

During Temple days, Az Yashir Moshe/Shirat HaYam was chanted every Sabbath afternoon by the Levites. After the destruction of the Temple, communities in Eretz Yisrael, wishing to perpetuate as much of the Temple worship as possible, introduced the recitation of this song into daily P’sukei d’Zimra. The practice caught on and spread to Jewish communities elsewhere. It is more than just a song of victory. By extolling God’s saving power it becomes an affirmation of our belief in God’s role in history and an acceptance of His sovereignty over all the nations.
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Considering the great stress that Judaism places on happily serving God (“ivdu et HaShem besimchah”) one may wonder why the sages did not add a blessing that asks God to grant us happiness. We ask for knowledge, for health, for economic prosperity, for peace. Why not a prayer for happiness? Perhaps the answer is because happiness cannot be granted from On High. It must flow from man himself. God can bless us with necessities and luxuries in the realm of the material and in the realm of the spirit that might lead to happiness. But ultimately happiness depends on personal contentment with what one has. In Hebrew, the word for “happiness” (simchah) is used in the term that connotes contentment.
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Although it has become customary among Jews everywhere to treat Maariv with the same sense of duty and obligation as Shacharit and Mincha, the nonrepetition of the Shemoneh Esrai remains witness to the Talmudic ruling about Maariv’s once optional character.
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One indication that Kaddish was not a prayer composed for the synagogue but an outgrowth of informal prayers recited in the Beit Midrash is the fact that "Adonai" or "Elohim", the name of God as it appears in all other prayers and blessings, does not appear in Kaddish. Instead we find the less formal appellations that were widely used in the daily language and may be said even outside the context of a formal blessing...

Since Kaddish makes no direct reference to the dead or to a hereafter, why did it become the prayer that mourners say? One explanation is that it is an expression by a bereaved person of his acceptance of the Divine judgment. Kaddish reflects the mood of Job's declaration: "The Lord gave and the Lord took away, let the name of the Lord be blessed."

Another is that Kaddish is a prayer for the dead in an indirect sense. If the children of recently deceased parents rise to sanctify God's name in public, that redounds to the merit of the deceased. This is in keeping with the commandment, "Honor thy father and mother".
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The short response "Amen" or "Halleluyah" is actually a time-honored form of prayer; it provided a way for those people who could not recite or concentrate on lengthy prayers to participate in and be fully part of the worship service. It had its origin in the Temple service; since most people were not able to pray by heart, they could fulfill their prayer obligation by listening to the Prayer Leader and responding, which was equated with the recitation itself. In our own day, with printed prayer books, the short response is often treated as insignificant. This neglect does it an injustice.
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The Talmud gives a spiritual reason for the two mid-week Torah readings. The sages always regarded water as the symbol of Torah. What water is to the body, Torah is to the soul. So when the Israelites in the wilderness are described as having become weary because they "walked for three days... and did not find water" (Exodus 15:22), the sages saw this as a lesson. We should not go three days without the sustenance of Torah and so we read Torah on Monday and Thursday in addition to Shabbat.

Although the public reading of Torah (an educational undertaking) is a much more ancient tradition among Jews than is congregational prayer, and developed independently, it was natural that with the evolution of congregational worship, Torah reading would be joined to the service and become an integral part. It completes the circle, creating a dialogue. In prayer, man talks to God; through Torah, God talks to man.

Following a custom that goes back at least to the seventh century CE, we raise an open Torah scroll in order to hold the Torah script up to the view of the entire congregation. This has a Biblical precedent: "And Ezra opened the Book is the sight of all the people" (Neh. 8:5). In Ashkenazic congregations the Torah scroll is raised after the reading is completed; in Sephardic congregations it is raised before beginning.

Why does the Haftarah have so many more blessings than accompany the Torah reading? A reaction to the Samaritans perhaps, who rejected the prophetic writings. In the blessings before the Haftarah we affirm - contrary to Samaritan belief - that just as God chose the Torah, Moses, and Israel, so did He choose the prophets and their teachings. And in the blessings after the Haftarah we affirm our faith in the centrality of Jerusalem - in contrast to the Samaritans, who considered Shekhem (Nablus) as the center of their faith and Mt. Gerizim rather than Mt. Zion for their temple.
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Kabbalat Shabbat: the six psalms symbolize the six working days of the week, is first ascribed to Rabbi Moshe Cordovero (16th C.). Could be traced back to 9th century, when reciting six psalms before the start of Shabbat (not necessarily the same ones as today) was begun in Babylonia to commemorate the long discontinued practice of blowing six shofar blasts to signal the start of the Sabbath.

Lekhah Dodi was composed by Rabbi Shlomo Halevy Alkabetz (16th C.), one of the kabbalists of Safed. "Come, my dear friend, to meet the bride; the Sabbath presence, let us welcome." Words come from the Talmud, Shabbat 119a and Bava Kamma 32b. We no longer go outdoors to welcome the Sabbath bride but we turn to face westward while reciting last stanza.
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Saying a blessing before eating is widespread among many peoples and religions. Yet the greater obligation, the Biblical duty, is to recite a blessing after eating (“When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless the Lord your God” - Deut. 8:10). Why? Perhaps because when people are sated, they are more likely to forget Him who is the source of their nourishment. It is easier to think of God and be grateful to Him when the food is still before us and we are hungry. It often happens that when people are able to comfortably meet their basic needs, they turn away from God.
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If keeping the Sabbath attests to our servitude to God, it simultaneously establishes our freedom from the servitude that is imposed on us by society. On the Sabbath, we heed no human taskmaster. For 24 hours nothing is permitted to interfere with rest, with tranquility of mind, with freedom from the pressures of daily affairs and work. Shabbat is intended to prevent us from slipping back into a slave mentality and to free us from worldly concerns.

It is customary to light two candles to symbolize the two forms of the fourth commandment: “Remember (Zakhor) the Sabbath day” (Exodus 20:8) and “Observe (Shamor) the Sabbath day” (Deut. 5:12).

[Rebecca]

I don't know if I'll ever be "done" reading this one. I'm going to have to return it to the library and buy my own copy, I think.

[Laura Weakley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading!

[Joel Kleehammer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rabbi Hayim Halevy Donin is an amazingly talented author and teacher. His books on Judaism rival other modern greats, such as Rabbi Joseph Telushkin and Rabbi Harold Kushner. This book teaches us the basic prayer service, order of the siddur, and the why - in addition to the how. When read together with his book To Be a Jew, there seems to be more to learn than I can take in. I recommend reading this book, putting it down, then coming back to see how much more you can learn.

[Roxanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is what you need to know to engage with prayers and the praying community. Comprehensive without delving into the arcane. Well-balanced between practical performance issues and contextual explanations. Worth keeping on one's bookshelf to dip into again and again.

[tatiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read for anyone with questions about service. More of a reference guide, which can be read front-to-back or by topic. Makes a great gift, too (for children and adults).
You know that tiny one sentence hint in the siddur that reads "Pound chest twice" or "Read silently"? This is would be an expanded version of that with explanation. For example, why do we sit, stand, bow etc during some prayers and not others? What are the different honors procedures on the binah (and why)? And many other questions.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this a very interesting and helpful book that helped me understand synagogue services a bit better, and that has helped me understand more about different prayers said at different occasions. A definite recommendation for those interested in Jewish prayer, the Hebrew words of prayers, and the goings-on in synagogues.

[Max White · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book shows that the ancient Jews were almost praying the same way as muslims are praying today.
This confirms that the revelations given to the prophets Moses, David and up to Muhammad are of one source.
After studying this book I read the Quran and was astonished how similar Judaism and Islam is.
Since having read this book I see Islam totally different.

[Noema · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very comprehensive resource on the structure of the service and origins of the liturgy. Too Orthodox for my taste at points, but essential nonetheless (pair it with Schacter-Shalomi's Davening: A Guide to Meaningful Jewish Prayer for a better experience).

[amanda]

Recommended by Rabbi......

[Steven Schwarzman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great how-to for learning the prayer service, though here and there written from an Orthodox perspective.

[Zane Carey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very detailed account of prayer choreography, wording, and timing.
While I don't necessarily like or agree with everything, it has expanded my knowledge.

[Daniel Margolis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Others have already said what I would say, so this is a brief review. I'd just underline the point that this is a reference book that can be read from cover to cover. However, there is a lot of information presented, and it's likely that most readers will only retain a fraction of it after reading. It's important and useful information, though, so it makes sense to buy the book, read it, and then to keep it on hand for reference.

[Jordon Gyarmathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish there was a 3.5 stars. I don't want to round it up to 4. The author of To Pray As A Jew speaks very authoritatively despite having a whole introduction saying that you can pray in different ways and all prayers matter. I think this book was a prescriptive guide to prayer for those in the conservative/orthodox community. Its very informative and helpful, just strangely formatted and not the right book for me.

[Barry Kane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't think there's another book out there that explains Jewish prayer so comprehensively
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Is what I would say if I were Orthodox. Rabbi Donin really did do an exemplary job bringing in a wide range of sources for this book. The only problem, by no fault of his own, is that this book is very much by an Orthodox Jew for Orthodox Jews. Coming from a more progressive background, I found that a lot of it simply didn't apply to the services I attend. Still very informative nonetheless. DNF

[Craig Bolton]

To Pray As A Jew: A Guide To The Prayer Book And The Synagogue Service by Hayim H. Donin (1991)

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though I am a practicing Reform Jew, I converted Orthodox (long story). This book offers an understanding of the elements of an Orthodox service, which still the basis for all Jewish services.

[Zhelana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I think this is the second time I've given up on this book. It seemed informative, but it had one huge problem that made it impossible for me to follow. While they offered the Hebrew that is said in each prayer and a translation, at no point did they offer a transliteration. My Hebrew just isn't good enough to figure out what is being said by reading the Hebrew letters. If he had offered the transliteration and I could see what part of the service he was talking about in each portion of the book, that would have made it actually really interesting and probably a good book. Unfortunately, without that it's just reading background without any context and quickly got repetitive and annoying.

[Paula Kirman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in hopes of being able to follow an Orthodox synagogue service from start to finish. Instead, the book focuses on the prayers themselves - their history and meaning - and less on the order, which apparently can vary from synagogue to synagogue. The information, however, is easy to follow and in-depth. An excellent place to start for anyone wanting to familiarize themselves with traditional Jewish prayers.

[Ness · Rating 5 out of 5]

FINALLY FINISHED!!! 4.75 ⭐️

incredible book to learn basically everything there is to know about jewish liturgy + to get inspired to study Talmud. i studied deeply jewish liturgy before and still learned a ton from this book!

-0.25 stars purely because from time to time it turned into a manual with just "how to" without any "why" which (unfortunately) made it more boring than it had to be

do recommend to read it in a smaller span of time to actually remember the beginning lol

[Andi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was written by an Orthodox rabbi from a decidedly Orthodox perspective. The majority of the book is meant for men. When the author says "he" or "a man", it's not from a generic perspective like a lot of older books - he literally means for men only. A few paragraphs are dedicated to women's customs but feel like an afterthought.

[J.T.K. Gibbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another resource to be read and re-read and pondered for a lifetime.

Rabbi Donin provides explanation, historical and Scriptural background, as well as etiquette for the center of Jewish life:prayer and our relationship with G-d.

[Phil Levy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The synagogue service explained

Comprehensive explanation of all the various aspects of the synagogue service and its variations that occur at different times and holidays. It provides great insight into the hows and whys of Jewish observance.

[Laurel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Better as a reference than anything you want to read straight through

[MOHAN · Rating 4 out of 5]

very useful book for those who willing to know the basics about Jewish lifestyle ….worth to read.

[Rainbowdracula · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book put more overwhelming knowledge into my head than my intermediate microeconomics textbook did my sophomore year of college.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, explained Jewish prayer in depth while remaining engaging throughout. It’s from an Orthodox perspective, which I liked because my own experience is with liberal Judaism. Answered every question I could have thought to ask. I will say that I highly recommend general familiarity with the prayer services before trying to get through this. I loved it for explaining the rationale behind rituals I was already familiar with and imagine it would be difficult to follow for someone who can’t already at least follow along in shul.

[Ashleigh · Rating 3 out of 5]

a forever book to go back to

[Lisa Feld · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a solid resource for people looking to take on strict Jewish observance--people who believe there is a right way of doing Judaism and want to fit into an Orthodox or Conservadox community but weren't raised in those communities and don't know the choreography or how to pronounce certain words. The book includes diagrams of how to lay tefillin, how to bow for different prayers, how to lift a Torah scroll, etc., as well as when and how to say different prayers.

Four stars, taking one star off for a couple of reasons. First, the book doesn't discuss any of the variations possible even within an Orthodox framework, such as Nusach Sefard, which may leave readers thinking that someone else in their community is doing things wrong, when in fact there is a range of acceptable customs and practices. Second, having grown up in an observant household that can trace that observance back many generations, I can say with certainty that Jewish practice not only varies from one community to another, it is always changing and evolving, and has always done so. Even an unbroken chain is not a perfect copy. The way we practice is not quite how our grandparents practiced, no matter how comforting it is to think so. I would prefer a book that was honest about those shifts and trends, and hopefully one that offered a framework for further growth and evolution of our tradition.